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“So you’re telling me that she willingly chose to end her own life?” Yelena stated through gritted teeth, feeling the tears starting to build up in her eyes.
Clint nodded slowly. “It was to bring everybody back. It was to bring you back.” They were both silent as Yelena finally put her gun down, and as both of them finally allowed themselves to cry over someone that neither of them will ever see again.
After a fair amount of tension had been released, Yelena began to speak up again. “She told you about me?”
Clint looked at her intently with a soft smile. “She tells me everything. She was my best friend.” He paused for a moment, took a deep breath, then continued, “heck, she was my first love. I was ready to die for her, but as always she beat me up to it.”
“Bullshit.”
“What?”
“You have kids with a wife that obviously isn’t Natasha. How the hell does the love part make any sense?” Yelena spat out.
Clint looked like he had been punched really hard in the gut. He turned away, his gaze wandering aimlessly as the snow began to fall. “I asked her to marry me, you know.” He finally said. “I’ve loved her since Budapest, although it took a shit of a first assignment as partners for us to have admitted our feelings.”
He glanced at Yelena, who was now looking at him in what seemed like shock and anger and grief put together, but as if anticipating for him to tell her more. “I wanted a life which is more than just surviving one mission after another for us. A life where we wake up each day not to the sound of bullets but to the squeals of our kids. A life where I could take her out on normal dates, where we could dance peacefully under the moonlight-”
“Okay stop, no need for any explicit romance scenarios jeez. Disgusting. But hold on just a second. You seriously told her that you wanted to have kids?” Yelena suddenly interrupted.
“Um, yes. Why? She was a great aunt to my children now, didn’t seem like she hated the idea of them.”
“Holy mother Russia. And here you are thinking that she actually told you everything.” Yelena sighed, slapping one palm against her forehead in exasperation. “Damn it, she’s even a poser in these kinds of things. So let me guess, she said no to your proposal?”
“Yeah.” Clint replied slowly, raising an eyebrow in surprise. “She just said that she didn’t want more than what we already had.”
“And another guess. She was the one who later on introduced you to your soon to be wife?”
“The accuracy of your guesses is scaring the shit out of me. How do you know all this?”
“The Red Room subjects us to involuntary hysterectomy and bilateral salphingo-oophorectomy before we become official Widows. She didn’t tell you that?”
“What? No. No, she did not. So you mean to say that-”
“We can’t have kids, you idiot!” Yelena was now yelling in frustration. “I can bet my own life that it was the reason why she said no to you. She wanted you to have your happy ending even if it’s not with her. She’s also an idiot. You are both idiots! And you’re a double idiot for giving up on her just like that!”
Clint was now definitely in a state of shock, too overwhelmed by the fact that in a way, he actually had lost Natasha even before Vormir. If only he could bring back time. If only there was a way to undo what can no longer be undone. Beginning to get lost in his regrets, Yelena’s voice suddenly dragged him back to reality. “Huh, but the stone sacrifice worked right, so I guess you both knew that you still did love each other.”
Recollecting himself, he replied hesitantly. “Well, we did stay as friends even after I got married. It’s complicated but I loved both her and Laura. Over time I just had learned to love her differently... but still more than I ever thought I could.”
Yelena shot him a smirk. “I wonder if it’s the same for her. I mean, the way she talked about you while we were in Budapest, and let’s not forget that stupid arrow necklace.”
As if the shock from before wasn’t already enough, Clint had more coming his way. “Wait what? She actually still had it?” He said in disbelief.
“Yep. The Red Room's most lethal and covert spy, wearing her heart around her neck for the world to see.” Yelena replied with an eye roll, her smirk turning into a grin. “Anyway, why? Does she not wear it when you are together? When did you give it to her? Was it in Budapest? Or oh my god, did she get it for herself? Shit that is so messed up if that’s true.” Yelena couldn’t help but ask excitedly, remembering how well her sister fended off her attempts in interrogating her for the story behind that necklace. After all the theories she came up with, however, none of them had prepared her for the answer that Clint would finally give.
“It was what I gave her when I asked her to marry me.”