Archive of Our Own

Y/N knew he had terrible ideas.  He knew his ideas almost always fell through and his friends made sure to tell him that.  He still went through with every single idea though, because there was always a chance it could go his way.  Chances were dangerous, especially with him.

His mother had told him that he had only ever had two good ideas: joining the volleyball team in high school and studying abroad in England.  Both made him grow into the person he was now at 27-years-old.  He was no longer the outside hitter who demanded everything from his players but the confident YA author who simply made his presence known by his writing.  There was more that had changed, because 10 years could be full of change, but he was still in love with his high school boyfriend, Ukai Keishin.

Y/N was looking up flights and costs.  He kept going between multiple sites, trying to find the best deal, when he felt Katherine sit next to him on his bed.

“Y/N, you don’t have to do this,” Katherine said, and Y/N looked over at her curiously. “You disappeared.  He probably won’t feel the same.”

“You’re right,” he breathed out with a small smile. “I have to try though, don’t I?  What if there’s a chance he still does?”

What ifs consumed Y/N.  They created his stupid ideas and sometimes his stupid ideas worked out, maybe even great if you wanted to go that far.  A ‘what if’ had created his first novel and it was a bestseller now.  So, now he believed he had to go after every ‘what if’ he had.

“There’s more to it though because it’s an opportunity to see everyone again.  I also get to go to nationals, which is something I’ve always wanted to do,” Y/N said, and his smile grew. “I get to show you around Japan.  You get to see my childhood home and some of the places I hung out at.”

Katherine sighed and he knew she didn’t like his plan.  He didn’t like it either and part of him hated that he was actually going through with it.  Fly to Japan, see Keishin, and admit his love for him after not talking for 10 years besides one phone call.

Katherine tucked her hair behind her ear, the sun from the bedroom window highlighted it, and Y/N had always loved how the sun shined against her blonde hair, it shimmered in a way.  It was pretty, just like she was. “You’ll have to translate the entire time because my Japanese is terrible.”

Y/N laughed as he nodded.  Of course, that would be what she thought was necessary here.  They both knew her Japanese wasn’t terrible, she was able to talk to Y/N’s parents without too much trouble, but they always dumbed down their words when speaking to her.  They’d see his parents in Japan and it would be the first time in nearly two years because of how he’s been with his novels.  They always Skyped and updated him about everything his former teammates were up to, even though he had told them not to.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you,” Y/N said, and Katherine rolled her eyes as Y/N purchased the plane tickets.

They arrived in Japan in the middle of the night.  Y/N’s parents were tired, but they picked him and Katherine up from the airport.  It had been dramatic with Y/N running to them and his mother crying when they finally hugged.  His father tried to look unaffected, but the photos Katherine took showed that he was happy too.

Some of the car ride to his parents’ house was Y/N translating to Katherine what was going on.  His parents tried to use simple Japanese for her, but they were struggling a bit with it.  She wasn’t upset by it and ended up falling asleep halfway there.

“We’re happy you’re back home,” his mother said, and she knew it was only for two weeks.  Y/N had made sure to emphasize that so no one got the wrong idea. “You’ll have to sign our copies of your newest novel for us.”

Y/N smiled at them, making eye contact with his father in the rear-view mirror. “I’d love to.” He paused for a moment to look over at Katherine’s asleep figure before back to the rear-view mirror. “I’m happy to be back home too.”

Y/N looked over at Keishin, who was seated on his bed.  His hair was growing out from the buzzcut he had gotten at the beginning of second year.  Keishin sank into the dark blue duvet slightly, without even needing to get under the covers.  He gnawed at his pencil as he worked on math homework, and Y/N could feel all the love and affection he had for Keishin at that moment.

Someone snapped, and Y/N blinked as he looked over to see Katherine next to him.  She was on his bed while he sat at his desk.  His laptop was open, he had been responding to emails.

Katherine chuckled slightly. “You there?”

Y/N slowly nodded, and he turned his attention back to his computer. “Let me just answer my editor and then we can sleep.”

He knew his editor could wait, but the already present time difference along with how long they may end up sleeping was what made him want to contact her.  Just a simple email saying that he had made it to Japan, and he’d try to reply when he could.  He finished up the email, pressed send, and clicked out of the browser before he closed his laptop.  He didn’t want to look over at Katherine, because he didn’t want to see Keishin again right now.  He didn’t want to see him unless he was actually there.

“I’m going to go grab the futon,” Y/N said as he got up without looking at her. “The bed’s yours, so feel free to make yourself comfortable.”

He was nearly at the door when she spoke. “Are you okay, Y/N?”

Y/N forced himself to look over his shoulder, and all he saw was Katherine and the old anime posters he had put up years ago. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” She didn’t say anything. “I’ll be right back.”

He went to the bathroom and locked the door.  He stared himself down in the mirror, he pressed his body against the marble countertop, and he looked just as exhausted as he felt.  All he needed was to sleep and everything would be okay.  He repeated that to himself as let out a deep breath and as he left the bathroom to get the futon.  He was just tired, and everything would be okay once he slept.

The first day they were in Japan, Katherine slept for most of it.  Y/N had never been one to get much sleep to begin with, so the time difference didn’t completely wreck him, but affected him just enough to where he needed at least three cups of coffee to be able to process anything.  He sat with his parents as they ate breakfast and waved them bye when they went to work.  It felt like it did when he was younger.

There wasn’t much he could do without Katherine since she’d get upset that she hadn’t been included, which didn’t bother him.  He understood and didn’t want to upset her.  All he wished right now was that the time change didn’t affect her like it did.  So, he decided to go for a walk in order to kill time.

It was cold in Miyagi, so he made sure to bundle up with a sweater, coat, and beanie.  His scarf sat in his suitcase.  It was the one Keishin gave him for Christmas during their second year.  It was orange, like Karasuno’s colors, and long enough to wrap around his neck three times and there still be excess.  Keishin’s grandmother had made it since Keishin didn’t know how to knit.

Y/N found himself walking towards Karasuno High School.  He guessed it was muscle memory.  Or maybe he hoped he’d catch a glimpse of Keishin hurrying off to or from practice.  He didn’t know, but he kept walking.

He slowed when he saw Sakanoshita Market.  It was Keishin’s mother’s store, and Y/N wondered if she still owned it.  He and Keishin had loved the store when they were in high school.  They took turns behind the register and argued about who did a better job.  Keishin’s mother always patted Y/N’s head and told him he was doing a good job before yelling at Keishin to stop being a brat.

Y/N stopped and stared at the flyers on the glass doors.  He wasn’t reading them, more just focused on the designs and colors, and his eyes looked over to see Keishin leaning back on a stool behind the counter.  There was a cigarette dangling from his fingers and a magazine in his other hand.  His bleached hair was pulled back with a black headband and there was a grimace on his face.  He looked like all of the photos he had seen on Facebook, but so different at the same time.

Was Y/N going to go in there or was he going to continue walking?  As he stared at Keishin, he didn’t know if he could do it.  He didn’t know if he could go in there and just see what would happen, even if this was the biggest reason he was in Japan again.

He let out a deep breath and let his shoulders drop.  Everything was fine.  It was just Keishin.  Y/N didn’t need to get caught up in his head.  The door was cold under his fingers, and a bell chimed when he pushed it open.  The sound caught Keishin’s attention, and they were staring at each other.  They were staring at each other like it was the first they had ever seen each other.  It felt like that, just a little bit.

“Y/N,” Keishin breathed out, and Y/N was happy Keishin still knew his face.

“Did you miss me?” Y/N asked.  His voice wavered and his anxiety started to eat away at him again.  He really wished he was 16 year old him again, since that version of himself didn’t get nervous.

Keishin put out his cigarette as he closed his magazine. “You could say that.”

“Oh, don’t get all mysterious on me now,” Y/N said, and the door slammed shut behind him causing him to flinch. “You were never good at being mysterious to begin with.”

Keishin laughed and he was on his feet, which made Y/N stop.  Y/N watched Keishin come from behind the counter and walk to him.  He kept telling himself to meet him halfway, but instead Y/N stood there with a racing heart and clammy hands.  He felt like he was 16 and practicing alone with Keishin.  The only difference was that there wasn’t a volleyball to fix it.

Warmth engulfed Y/N when Keishin wrapped his arms around him.  Y/N slowly wrapped his arms around Keishin and let himself enjoy the hug.  He couldn’t remember the last time he had hugged someone like this – like he had always missed them, even when they were with him.

“You’re really here,” Keishin mumbled into his hair, and Y/N laughed.

“Yeah, I am.” Keishin squeezed a little tighter. “I’m here.”

Keishin slowly let go of him and Y/N wanted to pull him back in.  He wanted to keep the hug going, because maybe he’d be able to say he loved him if they weren’t looking at each other.

“You should’ve called.  I would’ve closed the shop,” Keishin said, and he led Y/N to sit down at the table they used to do homework at every day.  His hand was located on the small of Y/N’s back, and it felt like Keishin was making sure Y/N wasn’t going anywhere yet.

Y/N shook his head. “I wouldn’t want you to do that just for me.”

 “I would though.” Keishin separated from him and then went to sit down across from Y/N. “I doubt I’d get shit for it.  You know my mom loves you.”

Y/N did know that.  He had spent so much time with the Ukais he thought they’d be sick of him.  Instead they embraced him more than they did Keishin.  He felt a little bad about it, but not much.

“Still, I don’t want you going out of business for me,” Y/N said.

Keishin shrugged as he leaned back in his chair. “Wouldn’t bother me.”

Y/N didn’t know what to say.  He hadn’t thought this far in advance.  He had only thought about needing to see Keishin, but the plan had been to see him later.  This wasn’t the original plan, but he could figure it out.

“So, what brings you here, if you don’t mind me asking,” Keishin said, and his brown eyes were studying Y/N.

“I was just walking, but I saw this place and thought that it’d be nice to see you before everyone meets up.” The corner of Y/N’s mouth quirked up. “I also know you want me all to yourself.”

Keishin laughed a little. “You’re not wrong.  I’d like to talk to you alone since it’s been so long.”

Y/N put an elbow on the table and his cheek on his hand. “Alright then, tell me what coaching’s been like.”

Keishin sighed, but there was a fond smile on his face. “A pain in the ass, but they’re good kids.  I think they’d like you as their coach more than me.”

Y/N rolled his eyes. “Doubtful.  I wouldn’t want an author who hasn’t played in years being my coach.”

“Well, we can fix that.  Just come by the gym tomorrow and you can practice with us.”

“I can’t,” Y/N sighed gently.  Keishin’s shoulders dropped. “I have a meeting with a bookstore since I’ve set up a book signing and reading.”

Ukai nodded and he looked at Y/N with hopeful eyes. “Another time maybe?”

Y/N nodded with a smile. “Of course.  I want to see what your practices are like.” He laughed a little. “Remember when we convinced Tachi to try to jump over the net and coach was pissed?”

“You’re leaving out the part where Tachi got caught up in the net and we had to cut him out,” Keishin said, but he was laughing too.  His smile made Y/N’s breath hitch. “The only reason none of us were killed was because you were the one who told coach.”

“I can’t help that I was the favorite,” Y/N teased, and Keishin shrugged.

“You were everyone’s favorite, so no one ever cared.” Keishin paused. “Well, except for Fujii-san, but he’s an asshole.”

Y/N laughed a little. “Are you going to say that when we all go out for drinks?”

Keishin smiled. “If you get me drunk enough.”

It went quiet, but it was natural.  It was like it used to be when they were in high school.  Comfortable silence as they sat with each other, only ever needing each other’s company.  Did Keishin also feel it?  Maybe this was the perfect time to say it – to say he still loved him.

“Keishin, I—”

Keishin’s cell phone started going off causing the words to die in Y/N’s throat.  Keishin hastily pulled out his phone and his eyes widened. “Shit, sorry, I gotta take this.”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah, go ahead.”

“Just stay right there, it’ll be real quick,” Keishin said, and he answered. “Hey, Specs, I’m kind of in the middle of something. . . Oh, is he okay?”

Y/N slowly started getting up.  “I'm just going to go.”

Keishin looked at him with wide eyes.  He put his hand on the phone. “No, please, just give me a second.” He took his hand off. “I’ll call you back, text me if it’s important.”

Keishin flipped his phone shut, but Y/N was already at the door.  This wasn’t the time to confess.  Keishin was busy right now.  There’d be a next time.

“Hey, wait, you were saying something,” Keishin said, and Y/N sadly smiled.

“I was just saying that I’ve missed you.” Y/N looked down at his shoes. “I know, it’s lame.”

“It’s not,” Keishin said, and his voice was harsh.  Y/N looked up to see a panicked expression on Keishin’s face that melted once they made eye contact. “It’s not lame.  I’ve missed you too.”

Maybe this was the time to confess.  Y/N pressed a hand to the door, ready to run if needed, and he was going to say it.  Keishin’s phone went off again and Keishin groaned as he looked at it in his hand.

“I’ll see you later,” Y/N said, and Keishin nodded.

“Yeah, see you later.” Keishin opened his phone and put it to his ear. “What?”

Y/N left, listened to the door shut behind him, and let out a deep breath.  He’d confess next time.  There would be a next time.

Katherine wanted to have the full experience of what Japan was like for Y/N.  She wanted to know what Miyagi was like – what his childhood was like.  He tried to take her to Tokyo instead, but she refused.

“Nationals is in Tokyo, so we’ll just see things closer to then,” Katherine said, and she pulled her hair up into a ponytail.  They were both in the bathroom.  Katherine fixing her hair as Y/N brushed his teeth.  It was normal for them to do this in the morning since they only had one bathroom back home.

“Miyagi doesn’t have a lot of excitement,” Y/N said with his mouth full of toothpaste.  He spit his toothpaste into the sink and rinsed his toothbrush off. “Or at least my childhood version of Miyagi doesn’t.”

“I don’t care,” Katherine said, and she smoothed down the sides of her hair. “You’ve seen where I’ve lived before, so it’s only fair that I get to see everywhere for you.”

Y/N laughed a little. “Okay, well don’t complain when it consists mainly of walking.”

“I wouldn’t complain about that!”

Katherine complained about it, especially when she’s forced to walk up a steep hill.  She only continued because Y/N kept telling her it would be worth it.  The way she gasped when they made it to the top made it hard for her to say she didn’t like it.  They both knew she did.

They sat down on a bench near the railing.  The cold chill nipped at their noses and Katherine pressed her earmuffs into her ears even more.

“I found this place in high school with Keishin.” Y/N smiled at the view.  He remembered racing up the hill with Keishin as they laughed together.  Y/N always won, but that had always been a given. “We brought the team up here once and just hung out.  It was nice.”

“You really miss them, don’t you?” Katherine asked, and he slowly nodded.  It felt wrong to say it aloud. “Did you keep in contact with any of them?”

“Not really.  I quit the beginning of my third year due to a sports injury.” Y/N looked down at his knee.  He wished he had never gotten hurt.  It ruined the future he had planned for himself – the future where Keishin would still be in it. “I cut off contact because of it, but a couple of them have been emailing me about the team this year.  Apparently, they’re insane.”

Katherine nodded as she stretched her legs and arms out. “Well, I still know nothing about volleyball, but I do know that meeting is in about two hours.  Should we get going?”

Y/N looked down at his watch and she was right.  Two hours would be enough time since she walked slower than he did.  He started to get up and stretched his arms.

“I saw Keishin yesterday,” he said, and Katherine’s eyes grew wide.

“And you’re just now telling me this?” She asked, and he nodded.

“I thought I would before we go out for drinks tonight.”

Katherine froze and her words came out slow. “We’re going out for drinks?”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah, I already told you this.”

“I thought you were joking.” He couldn’t exactly read the expression on her face. “You know I can’t drink.”

Y/N knew that, but he had forgotten about it when he had received the invite.  He had been so caught up in thinking about Japan that he forgot about her slightly.  Her medication didn’t allow her to drink, which had been hard on her since she had to stop bar hopping after years of doing it every night.  They had even met at a bar, but now they never went to one.  He could always ask if he could go without her, but that wouldn’t be fair to her.

“I’m sorry, I forgot, I’ll just text them saying I can’t make it,” Y/N said.  Katherine frowned a little and Y/N smiled at her. “Don’t look like that.  It’s no big deal.  You know I don’t even like to drink to begin with.”

“But you miss them,” Katherine said, and Y/N shrugged.

“Yeah, but I’ll miss you more if you’re not with me.” He paused for a second and looked her over. “I’m not leaving you out.  Remember, that’s one of our roommate rules.  Rule three: No leaving the other out.”

Katherine looked down at her lap as she laughed a little. “You’re the only one who takes those rules seriously.”

Y/N grinned. “Which means I’m the best roommate.”

Katherine rolled her eyes as she got up and let out a huge sigh. “Alright, best roommate, let's get going.”

They walked to the train station in silence and Katherine gripped onto Y/N’s arm for dear life as they walked downhill.

Y/N was working on his new manuscript while Katherine laid on his bed, on her phone.  He looked over at her and smiled slightly.  She had gotten him out of an unnecessary photoshoot for promotional photos for the book signing.  She contacted his PR team and they sent over the photos.  He decided she could do whatever she wanted to right now.

His phone vibrated against the desk and both of them looked at it.  Y/N was close to hitting the word count goal he set for himself to reach every day, but he could always come back to that.  As he moved over to see who it was, his heart stopped.  It was Keishin.

It picked up the phone and hit accept.  He started speaking before it even touched his ear. “Hello.”

“Y/N,” Keishin slurred.  He dragged out the last part of Y/N’s name. “Where are you?”

“Are you drunk?” Y/N asked, and Keishin whined a little on the other line.

“No answering questions with questions.” Y/N could practically hear Keishin pouting.  It was sweet. “You said you’d be here.”

“I texted Koichi earlier about it and he said he’d tell everyone,” Y/N said. “Are you drunk?”

“No.” Keishin hiccupped softly. “Maybe a little.  Why’d you tell that asshole instead of me?”

Y/N leaned back in his chair. “Habit, I guess.  I always told him things like that in high school.  Does it bother you?”

“I’m supposed to be the one you tell things to,” Keishin said, and his words started slurring together a little more. “You used to tell me things.”

Y/N looked over at Katherine, who was staring at him.  She couldn’t understand anything he was saying, and he couldn’t put Keishin on speakerphone because of it.  It would all just sound like Japanese to her, and there wouldn’t be any meaning behind the words.  Maybe he needed to be more intense than Duolingo was with her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.  Katherine doesn’t drink and it’s not fair of me to leave her alone,” Y/N said, and Katherine perked up at the sound of her name.

“It’s not fair for you to leave me alone,” Keishin said, and he sniffled a little. “I thought we were gonna see each other again.”

Y/N tried to shush him in a loving way. “We are.  Nationals is in a couple of days, and I plan to be there.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, so you get to see me then.  I’ll make sure of it.”

“Okay.” Keishin sniffled a little more and Y/N didn’t know a drunk Keishin would be like this. “Will you talk to me after Nationals?”

Y/N’s heart and breathing stopped.  He tried to force himself to breathe and make it start again, but the sadness in Keishin’s voice made that hard. “Yes, I will.”

“Good, cause I missed talking to you,” Keishin dragged the words out. “I was sad you left so soon yesterday.”

“I was too,” Y/N said, and hopefully Keishin wouldn’t remember any of this.  Hopefully. “You were busy though.”

“Never too busy for you.”

Maybe Keishin was still in love with him.  Or at least still felt something for him.  Maybe it wasn’t as one-sided as Y/N had thought it was.

“I have to go, okay?  I’ll talk to you in the morning.” Y/N heard Keishin whine. “Go drink some water.”

Keishin huffed. “Fine.”

It was quiet for a moment, neither of them making a move to hang up the phone.  Y/N let out a deep breath. “I’m going to go now.”

“No!” Keishin said, and Y/N sighed.

“Good night, Keishin.”

Y/N hung up the phone and Katherine was sitting up now. “What was that?  You look all lovesick and sad.”

“That was Keishin drunk calling me.” Y/N chuckled a little. “He was saying he missed me and was sad I left yesterday.”

“Maybe this trip was worth it,” Katherine said, and Y/N rolled his eyes, but he agreed.  It wasn’t that Y/N didn’t think Keishin would feel the same, but more that he wouldn’t let his hopes get too high. “What’s going to happen if he loves you?”

Y/N tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

Katherine looked down at her hands in her lap. “You’ll either move here or he’ll move to London, but I don’t think he’ll do that.” Her voice got really quiet. “What’ll happen to me?”

Y/N quickly went over to her and wrapped his arms around her. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He petted her hair. “Let’s just not think about it right now, okay?”

Katherine started crying, and he rubbed soothing circles on her back.  He hadn’t thought about any of that.  Where he would live.  If he’d need to get a new editor.  If Katherine was willing to move with him.  What he’d do if she wasn’t.  He had been so caught up in his own feelings he hadn’t thought about anyone else’s.

To: Y/N

From: Keishin

>> I saw I called you last night.  Sorry if I said anything embarrassing.

To: Keishin

From: Y/N

>> No worries.  You just asked me where I was.

To: Y/N

From: Keishin

>> Oh yeah.  Where were you?

To: Keishin

From: Y/N

>> At home with Katherine.

>> She doesn’t drink and I didn’t want to leave her alone.

To: Y/N

From: Keishin

>> Oh okay

>> You’re a good friend.

Y/N stared at his phone as he sat on the bathroom floor.  He had tear-stained cheeks and his head hit the bathroom door again.  He wasn’t a good friend, not in the slightest, and he had been trying to figure everything out.  It was 6am and exhaustion was starting to eat at him.  What was he supposed to do?  What was he going to do?

He turned his phone off and tossed it to the ground before he put his face in hands.  He didn’t want to see Katherine like that again.  He needed everything to be figured out now.

“I don’t think I’m going to tell Keishin,” Y/N said, and he was seated across from Katherine at the dining room table.  He had just made basic ramen since there wasn’t much to work with.  They’d go buy groceries after they ate. “I don’t think it’s the right time.”

“Is this because of what I said last night?” Katherine asked.  He didn’t move to confirm nor deny it. “Don’t worry about me.  I was just emotional last night since I miss London.  You deserve to be happy, and he makes you happy.  You’ve been smiling a lot since we got here, and I love this side of you.”

“But I don’t know what’s going to happen if he does feel the same.” Y/N put his chopsticks down. “I never thought that far.  I just took one piece of information and created a huge scheme that neither of us ever really knew was going to actually work.”

“Well, we don’t know what’s going to happen, so let’s not start spiraling just yet.” Katherine stared at him and sighed. “I’ll admit I’m scared, but I know that things will work out.  No matter what, you have me.”

Y/N looked down at his ramen and his voice was small. “What if I don’t deserve you?”

“Well, you have me anyways.  Now eat or else it’s going to get cold,” Katherine said, and the conversation was over.  Y/N looked up at her and she was eating some of her ramen and let out a content sigh. “I’ve always loved when you cook.”

Y/N laughed a little. “I literally just follow the instructions and add vegetables.”

Katherine narrowed her eyes at him slightly before her face brightened up with a smile. “Well, it’s always the best ramen.”

Y/N smiled too and wanted the anxiety bubbling in his chest to go away.  Everything would be okay.  He would always have Katherine, no matter what happened while they were here.  He didn’t need to worry.

Nationals was bigger than Y/N thought it would be.  He knew it was huge and a big deal, but at the same time, he only had the idea of it from when he was in high school.  Back then, it seemed like it would be smaller due to the bright lights shining on the volleyball court.  He always imagined being blinded by them.

“There’s a lot of Japanese going on right now,” Katherine said, and Y/N laughed.

“Well, we are in Japan.”

She punched his arm. “You know what I meant, asshole.”

“Hopefully, I can keep up with translating for you.”

Katherine pointed over to someone and Y/N looked to see Keishin. “That’s him, right?  Keishin.”

“You do know it’s extremely rude to point,” Y/N said as he pushed her hand down. “But yeah, that’s him.”

Katherine’s eyes got a little wide and then she looked over at Y/N with a raised brow. “He’s really fit.”

“Hey!  Be respectful!”

Everyone near them looked over and Y/N made eye contact with Keishin, who stopped talking to a man with glasses and walked over to them. “Y/N!  You made it!” He looked at Katherine and pointed at her. “Katherine, right?”

“Hello, I’m Katherine,” she said in shaky Japanese.

“She doesn’t really know Japanese, so I’ll be translating for her,” Y/N said, and Keishin nodded. Y/N looked at Katherine, who looked terrified. “You answered correctly, don’t worry.”

Katherine nodded and Y/N looked back at Ukai, whose gaze was already on him.  Keishin spoke, “So, what do you think of this arena?”

“It’s fucking huge,” Y/N said as he smiled. “I would’ve lost my mind if we had gotten to play here back in high school.”

Ukai chuckled. “That’s something I didn’t think I needed to see.”

“Well, too bad we’re no longer in high school.”

“You’re right.”

Y/N turned to Katherine. “We’re just talking about this place.” He looked back at Keishin. “What do you think about it?”

“It’s huge and I think Karasuno deserves to be here,” Keishin said, and Y/N put his hands over his heart.

“Awe, when did you become soft, Keishin?”

Keishin rolled his eyes. “You’ll see what I mean when you see them play.” Y/N dropped his hands to his sides.  Keishin rubbed the back of his neck. “Also, I kinda need to talk to you later.”

Y/N blinked a couple of times. “What about?”

“You have to wait.” Keishin stopped talking and looked around.  Y/N had no clue what he was looking for. “I need to talk to you alone.”

“When will this be?  I promised Katherine I’d show her around Tokyo,” Y/N said, and Katherine looked over at him. “I’ll explain later, sorry.”

Katherine nodded and Keishin looked at them confused. “When are you guys going to go sightseeing?”

“After Karasuno’s first game,” Y/N said, and he crossed his arms. “Do you have time to meet up?”

“7.  How about we meet up at 7 and I’ll text you the address to the place Karasuno is staying,” Keishin said, and he fished his phone out of his pocket before typing away at it.  He clicked a final button before he put it back in his pocket.  Y/N’s phone dinged. “That’s me.  Just meet me out front at 7.”

Y/N squinted at him slightly as he turned his head slightly. “Are you not going to give me any more context?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Alright.” Y/N pointed behind Keishin. “I think your team is waiting for you.”

Keishin turned his head to see Karasuno waiting on him and jumped slightly. “Okay, I’ll see you later.  Text me if anything comes up or you need help finding the place.”

Y/N nodded. “Alright.  Go on before you make your team late to get to the court.”

Keishin nodded and he turned to leave but looked back at Y/N. “Thank you for coming.”

“I said I would, didn’t I?” Y/N chuckled, and Keishin nodded.  Y/N shooed him away, and it was just Katherine and him left there. “So, Keishin wants me to meet up with him later to talk at 7.”

Katherine’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit, what if he confesses first?”

“That’s a possibility, one that I would like so I wouldn’t end up making a fool out of myself if he didn’t feel the same.” Y/N let out a deep breath. “Okay, so we’re going to go watch a volleyball game and then sightsee and then I’m going to talk with my high school boyfriend.  Sound good?”

Katherine laughed a little. “Sounds great.”

Karasuno was better than good.  They were absolutely incredible.  Their videos put them to shame.  Keishin looked good down on the court as he watched the game intently and came up with new plays.  He belonged there.  He even looked happy while doing it.

“That was crazy!” Katherine said, and she had a huge grin. “Now I want to watch all of the games, even if Karasuno isn’t in them!  Are all games like that?”

“Not usually, but we are at Nationals,” Y/N said, and he smiled at her.  Her excitement was radiating off of her and it made him want to go play volleyball again just to see if he still had it.  He doubted he had any talent left, but he wanted to try. “We can go sightseeing tomorrow if you want to watch more games.”

Katherine turned to him, and she looked like a little kid who found something interesting. “What if we wait until after Nationals?  We’re here for another week anyways.”

He grinned at her, eyes lighting up.  She liked the thing he adored growing up.  Volleyball had been his identity for so long that giving it up felt like he had torn himself apart in order to do so. “Alright, I’m good with that.  We may leave before a game ends though so we can eat.  I still have to meet up with Keishin later.”

Katherine nodded, but she wasn’t listening.  They were in the vendors’ area now and she was amazed by everything she saw.  She pointed at volleyball phone charms. “Let’s get those.  We can match!”

Y/N pulled his wallet out and picked two of the phone charms before showing the vendor and paying for them.  When he handed it to Katherine, she immediately went to put it on.  She was amazed with it, and she grabbed his phone to put his on.

There had been times where he wondered if he could ever try to get back into volleyball.  Typically it happened whenever he was running into dead ends with his plots or losing inspiration to write, but it happened more and more the closer it got to coming to Japan.  The one thing that he had kept him from trying it was thinking that Katherine wouldn’t be interested in it.  She loved his writing and he assumed that meant she’d always want him to be an author.  This moment changed that thought though.

“What position were you again?” Katherine asked as she handed him back his phone.

“Outside hitter, just like the guy with the bun on Karasuno’s team,” Y/N said, and she nodded.

“Did you score a lot of points?”

Y/N remembered how the ball would fly into his hand before hitting the other side of the court every game.  His palm would tingle, and he’d always look over at the setter, whether it was Koichi or Keishin, and grin.  No matter who it was, they had scored that point together.  The team had scored that point together.

“I did, but I always felt like every point was scored by all of us,” Y/N said, and Katherine nodded.

She played with the phone charm. “I wished I could’ve seen you play.”

Y/N nodded as he looked down at her. “Yeah, me too.”

“Hey there, you come here often?” Y/N asked himself and he shook his head. “No, that’s fucking lame and he doesn’t come there often.”

Y/N was on his way to the address Keishin had sent him and still didn’t know what he was going to say.  This wasn’t like when he had seen Keishin at the store, because this wasn’t a familiar place.  This was some place Karasuno was staying that Y/N had never even seen before.  He worried he was going to completely miss it if he weren’t careful.

“Just act natural.  It’s Keishin.  It’s not like he’s going to get upset at you for being embarrassing or something.” He stopped on the sidewalk. “Fuck, what if I embarrass myself?” He shook his head and started walking again. “It’s okay.  He dated me when we were 16 and cringey, so it’s all okay.”

The rest of the walk was him trying to figure out how to come off as charming without trying too hard.  In the end, he gave up on trying to figure out what to say.  He’d just wing it like he typically did.  He used to say he winged it all of the time because he was a wing spiker.  He couldn’t use that line anymore.

“Y/N!” A voice called out, and Y/N looked straight ahead to see Keishin waving at him from down the block. “It’s over here!”

Y/N hurried up but didn’t let himself run.  He may be desperate, but he wasn’t going to show it.  He slowed down when he was closer to Keishin, who was bundled up just as much as Y/N was.  It was too cold outside, and Y/N was tired of being out there, so hopefully Keishin had a plan.

“Hey,” Y/N said once he was a couple of feet from Keishin.  It was as cool and charming as he was going to get with a greeting.

Keishin smiled at him. “Hey.”

“So, you needed to talk to me?”

Keishin jumped slightly and nodded. “Yeah, come inside with me.  We can talk in there.”

Y/N followed him in and Karasuno boys were everywhere.  They looked at him and Keishin, and Y/N tried to think what he would’ve thought if he saw Coach Ukai with someone else, especially with someone he didn’t know.

“Hey, go get ready for dinner,” Keishin said, and the boys nodded and hurried off.  He turned to Y/N. “Sorry, they can be nosey at times and I’d rather them not hear me talk to you.”

Y/N gasped as he put his hand on his heart. “Are you ashamed to be seen with me?”

Keishin’s eyes widened, and he shook his head. “No, not at all.  They’re all just annoying brats.

Y/N placed a hand on Keishin’s arm. “Keishin, I’m just teasing.”

“Oh.  Okay,” Keishin said, and he was obviously nervous.  It reminded Y/N of how Keishin acted when they were in high school, especially before they started dating.  He had always been so scared he’d say the wrong thing.

They walked up the stairs and Keishin led Y/N into an empty room.  Y/N figured this was where Keishin and the advisor were staying while they were here.  Two futons were already set up and they were on opposite sides of the room.  Keishin followed where Y/N was looking. “Oh, Specs snores and drools in his sleep.  I don’t want to be around that.”

“It never bothered you when I snored,” Y/N said.

Keishin looked down at the ground.  His face started to turn red. “Well that’s you.  You’re different.”

Y/N tried to ignore the ache in his chest.  He wanted to know what this was about.  He wanted to know if Keishin felt the same or if he was going to reject him.  It wasn’t like Y/N had been trying to hide how he felt – he just hadn’t outright said anything.

“So, why have me come to some random place at dinner time?” Y/N asked, and Keishin looked back at him.  His brown eyes were intense. 

It reminded Y/N of when Keishin had asked him if he had been breaking their teammates’ hearts.  It also reminded him of how Keishin looked every time he said he cared about Y/N.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, and I really should’ve done this before you came back to Japan, but I was scared.  So, when you called, it was perfect timing.” Keishin wasn’t looking at him anymore, instead he paced back and forth. “You left Japan 10 years ago and 10 years is a long time, I know that, but I thought about you after all of this time, which you could find weird.  It’s just that no one else has ever made me feel the way you make me feel, even though we were just in high school when we dated.”

“I love you,” Y/N said, and he cut Keishin off.  He didn’t need to hear anymore rambling when he got the point. “I came back for Nationals, but I also came back to tell you that I’m still in love with you.”

“Really?” Keishin asked, wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. “You mean that?  You love me?”

Y/N laughed a little and nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Keishin said, and he took a couple steps towards Y/N, cupping his face. “You love me.”

Y/N pulled him down, knowing he’d take too long, and they kissed for the first time since Y/N left Japan.  Their last kiss had been in the airport bathroom and had been something Y/N held onto.  They had never told each other they loved each other back then, but that kiss had been a way to let the other know they loved them back.  Or that’s how Y/N had always seen it.

They pulled away and Y/N let out a small laugh at Keishin’s grin.  Keishin put their foreheads together. “I missed that.  I missed you.”

Y/N placed a hand over Keishin’s, his fingers brushing over his own cheek. “This is better than an airport bathroom.” Keishin rolled his eyes, but the grin didn’t leave his face. “I missed you too.  I really did.”

“You’ll come to Nationals tomorrow and watch Karasuno, right?” Keishin asked, and Y/N had an amused smile on his face.

“I don’t think Katherine would forgive me if we didn’t go to Nationals tomorrow.” He pulled away slightly before resting his cheek on Keishin’s shoulder.  Keishin wrapped his arms around him. “She’s fallen in love with volleyball.”

“Do you still love volleyball?” Keishin asked.  Y/N was silent for a minute, because he didn’t know how to answer that question. 

No one had asked him that in so long, not since he got published and volleyball was no longer what he was known for.  His mother had been so happy when he had quit the team in high school, because she had started to see a different future for him.  Y/N still wondered what would’ve happened if he kept at volleyball.  Would he and Keishin still be together?  Would he have ever met Katherine?  Would he have been as successful as he is now?

Y/N let out a shaky breath and nodded. “Yeah.  I love it just as much as I love you.”

Keishin’s voice was gentle when he spoke. “Would you play again?”

“I don’t know.  Are you going to be by my side if I do?”

It felt like a ridiculous question, because why would Keishin do that?  He was a coach now.  He had a life with volleyball.  He had a team to stand with.  Why would he stand with someone who it wasn’t even certain if he could play volleyball?

“Yes,” Keishin said, and gently squeezed Y/N. “I’ll always be by your side.”