Chapter Text
It was the middle of the afternoon, and Ikari Shinji was working at Walmart, bored and already tired after a long day of school. He had already dealt with a few too many unpleasant customers in his checkout lane, and he was only a half hour into his shift. The remaining five hours seemed like an impossible span to trudge through.
He hated his stupid son of a bitch father for making him get a job. How could he have demanded that of him when Shinji didn’t even know what his father’s job was? (Aside from being bitter about his wife divorcing him, of course.) He was always eager to point an assertive finger at his poor, feeble, unassuming son who was already struggling under the weight of typical high school stress. If it weren’t for him, Shinji would have been playing a video game or something right now. He could never get that precious time back.
After what felt like four hours (but was really only twenty minutes or so), someone Shinji’s age approached the counter; an equally dead-eyed boy with silver hair. Wait, no, not dead-eyed — red-eyed. His eyes were red, and surprisingly bright considering the McDonald’s uniform he was wearing.
“Hello,” the boy said, making eye contact which Shinji quickly broke.
“Hi,” Shinji responded half-heartedly as he started to scan his items. He was buying one of those pre-packaged containers of cut-up pineapple, along with a bottle of Smartwater™. He couldn’t have been that smart if he was willing to pay five dollars for two hundred and fifty grams of pineapple — which must have been why he needed the boost in intelligence.
“Okay,” Shinji mumbled. “That’ll be seven eighty-five.”
“You poor thing. You look so tired,” the boy bemoaned, eyebrows knit in concern, as he handed Shinji a ten-dollar bill.
“Um.” Shinji froze, fingers clasped around the money, holding it in mid-air. “What?”
“I saw someone earlier in line get angry when you were ringing them through,” he confessed. “I felt bad for you.”
Shinji felt himself start to blush, which only made himself feel more embarrassed. “O-Okay?”
“Have other customers been rude to you, too?”
“Um, kind of…”
His worried frown grew more intense. “You have such a sweet face. How could someone stand to treat you with cruelty?”
“I…what?” Shinji floundered, still holding the cash in his hand. It almost felt like he was being made fun of, but the look in this kid’s eye was too sincere. Was he being hit on?
While Shinji’s mind raced, the other boy idly checked his phone, eyes widening when he saw the time. “Oh, my break’s almost over. I’ll have to hurry if I want to have enough time to eat this.”
Shinji felt compelled to dig. “Your break?”
“Yeah. I work at the McDonald’s in here.” He gestured to his shirt. “I thought it was obvious.”
“Uh, right. Sorry, I’ll get you your change.” Sensing the sudden urgency, he keyed in the amount and ducked aside as the till drawer swung open, collecting the change with impressive speed.
When Shinji dropped the coins into his palm, the other boy let their fingers graze each other for a heated moment of intimate passion. His crimson eyes flitted down, glancing at Shinji’s nametag.
“When is your shift over?” he asked in a way that still made it unclear whether he was hitting on Shinji or not.
“Um… I’m done at nine, why?”
He smiled. “Me too. Maybe I’ll see you later, then, Shinji.”
“How do you — oh, right,” Shinji said with a laugh. “Um, yeah, maybe I’ll see you, too, um…” He looked down, feeling stupid as he did. “Kaworu?”
“That is my name, yes.”
“Did I say it right?”
“You did.”
With that, Kaworu slipped his branded visor back on his head, flattening his fluffy hair against his scalp. He took his receipt for no reason and speedwalked away, cracking open his water bottle as he did. Shinji let his eyes follow the shape of him, eyebrow raising in interest while his gaze trailed down the length of his lithe, graceful legs…
“Are you open over there?” someone yelled from the lineup. Shinji snapped back to the present and let his stupid number light up as a beacon for the next customer. He glanced back at the direction Kaworu had gone, but the mysterious boy was nowhere in sight.
As his shift went on, Shinji was actually kind of excited at the notion of seeing Kaworu again, although he had been weird and borderline inappropriate with him. Based on the kinds of customers he usually encountered, it made sense that Kaworu would seem especially handsome and charming in comparison. It wasn’t like Shinji was up to his elbows in romantic prospects, either, so he wasn’t totally surprised to see himself clinging to the idea of someone new. He watched the clock relentlessly, passing the time by dreaming up scenarios of what might happen when their paths crossed once more.
Finally, just as his feet were starting to ache to an unbearable degree, it was nine o’clock and his brief prison sentence had been fulfilled. Time to go home and choke down some cold leftover pizza (his dad never cooked) before rushing to bed, hoping that he got enough sleep to function properly in school tomorrow!
He sauntered to the back room and clocked out, but not before getting his things from his locker. Shinji knew Walmart didn’t care about him, so he didn’t care about committing some minor time theft.
As he walked towards the exit, he tried to be subtle as he scanned the area, going at a slow pace in case he caught sight of Kaworu. In the end, he did not see him; he felt a bit disappointed. But, really, what had he been expecting? Shinji knew he was not an interesting person. He should have known he wouldn’t have kept Kaworu’s interest for very long.
Once he was out in the cold, Shinji checked his phone to see the status of his ride — oh, of course, his idiot deadbeat dad was going to be late. Shinji sighed and told his dad he would just walk; it was probably quicker that way, even if his feet were sore.
“Need a ride?”
Shinji’s gaze snapped away from his phone in shock at the sudden sound. He looked back over his shoulder to see Kaworu standing there in his work uniform, smoking (gross) and leaning against the painted brick wall like he thought he looked cool.
“What?” Shinji asked, unsure whether or not he should take the offer seriously.
Kaworu tossed his cigarette on the ground and stomped it out. “I have a car.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. Why else do you think I would work here? Gas is expensive.”
Despite the unflattering fluorescent parking lot lights, and the putrid smell of smoke, and the stupid visor he was still wearing, Shinji couldn’t help but think Kaworu was kind of cute. That meant he was trustworthy, right? He weighed his options and realized that this was the best one, even if Kaworu was just luring him into his vehicle to murder him. At least he would make it on the news that way.
Shinji shrugged. “Alright. I live over by the mall.”
Kaworu’s eyebrows shot up. “Me too,” he said with a laugh. “We have a lot in common.”
“You think so?”
“Sure,” he reasoned. “We both work here, we’re around the same age, we live in the same area…” He glanced at Shinji before continuing. “…We’re both gay?” He said, but it sounded more like a question with the hopeful uptick of his voice.
Shinji glared at him for half a second, feeling the typical defensive anger start to rise in himself at having his sexuality questioned, before he realized what Kaworu had just admitted. He ducked his head and laughed in disbelief.
“I-I don’t know about that yet,” he said, voice quiet.
“Yet?”
“Listen,” Shinji cut off his line of questioning, holding a hand out to silence him. “Are we gonna go or not? ‘Cause I can just walk instead.”
Kaworu took Shinji’s outstretched hand and (just barely) kissed the back of it. Shinji let him do it, for some reason.
“Follow me.”
* * *
As it turned out, Kaworu drove like a fucking maniac; it seemed like he didn’t know how to do anything aside from hitting the gas and occasionally braking. Shinji didn’t see him use his signal once. Did he even have a license?
While clinging to the armrest for dear life, Shinji tried to keep up with the conversation Kaworu was engaging him in.
“So, how long have you been working at Walmart?” Kaworu asked.
“Um, just a few — oh my God look out there’s a person — um, a few months. My dad said I needed to learn how to — for fuck’s sake dude don’t look at me while you’re driving — I needed to learn how to be more responsible. I guess he doesn’t think I’m doing enough.”
Kaworu frowned at the road in front of him, slowing down and driving more carefully due to Shinji’s incessant begging. “Your dad sounds like he sucks.”
Shinji shrugged. “Yeah, he kinda does.” He shifted in his seat, feeling like he must have been making Kaworu uncomfortable with how open he was being. Oddly enough, Shinji himself didn’t feel uncomfortable being so open. That was new, and not entirely unwelcome, but he still felt like he had to change the subject.
“So, um… How long have you been working at McDonald’s?”
“Only a few weeks. I used to work at Burger King, but I don’t like staying in the same place for too long.”
“Oh. Did your parents make you get a job, too?”
“No, I told you already — I have to pay for gas. And I had to pay for the car itself.”
“And cigarettes are expensive, too, aren’t they?” Shinji prodded, curious about the habit.
Kaworu laughed. “That, too.”
Shinji twiddled his thumbs. “Um, if you don’t mind me asking…why do you smoke? You’re so young.”
He shrugged. “I don’t care if I die.”
“W-What?!” Shinji cried. Well, that explained his driving, at least…
“I mean it. I’ve always fantasized about death. Sometimes, I think it would be romantic to die in a really dramatic way for someone I love. Other times, I wish I could choose the way that I die.” He paused. “I guess that by smoking, I’m being hopeful that I’m having some influence in the matter.”
“That’s…dark.” Shinji no longer felt bad about mentioning his poor relationship with his father.
“I’m sorry.”
Shinji shook his head in dismissal. “It’s fine.”
They drove in silence for a moment; their destination grew ever closer.
“Do you ever think about death?” Kaworu asked, quietly.
“Of course,” Shinji muttered. “Everyone does. I don’t think I’d ever be the type of person to…do it myself, but…I guess the thought has occurred to me, sometimes. Like when my parents were divorcing. Or when my dad treats me badly.”
Kaworu looked over at him, despite Shinji’s earlier pleas to the contrary. “Does your dad hurt you?”
“No, he doesn’t —”
“Because if he does, I’m not taking you back there,” he said sternly.
“I swear he doesn’t! He’s just really mean sometimes.” He paused, backtracking. “Well, maybe ‘mean’ is the wrong word… He just doesn’t care about me, I guess. I think he just wanted me to get a job so I wouldn’t be home as much. So he wouldn’t have to see me.”
Kaworu didn’t say anything.
Eventually, they turned down Shinji’s street. He gave Kaworu the address, and soon, the car rolled to a stop in front of the dark house. Only one light was on — Rei’s room, where she was surely studying. Their dad would have never forced her to get a job. She was too important to him.
“I almost don’t want to let you go,” Kaworu mumbled. “I feel bad. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine,” Shinji tried to genuinely assure him. “Believe me. He probably won’t even talk to me. And my sister’s home, anyway, so he can’t really do anything.”
Kaworu hmmed in thought, not liking Shinji’s answer. “Alright,” he said, sounding like he wasn’t quite convinced. “But, before you go…do this for me, okay?”
“What is it?”
“Take my number, and text me if anything happens. I’ll come get you as soon as I can.” He looked at Shinji seriously. “Okay?”
Shinji’s eyes went wide. “Huh? Uh, y-you don’t have to —”
“I’m not really giving you a choice here.”
Shinji grumbled in protest, but handed his phone over so Kaworu could enter his contact details. When Shinji snatched it back, he noticed that Kaworu had deemed himself the “cute McDonald’s guy” in Shinji’s contact list. He decided to leave it that way for now.
“I-I guess I’ll see you at work, then?” Shinji said as he popped the door open, sticking a foot out. “I’m in tomorrow after school.”
“So am I,” Kaworu said, happy about it. “Maybe you can come visit me next time?”
“S-Sure,” Shinji stammered, feeling his heart start to thud in his chest. “I-I’ll see you then!”
“Goodnight, Shinji. Remember what I told you, okay?”
“I will.” He got out of the car, but ducked back down to say, “Thanks for the ride, Kaworu.”
“Anytime.”
Then, Shinji headed toward the house; Kaworu waited until he was safely inside before driving off at the speed of light. Shinji prayed for him to arrive home in one piece.
As he had expected, Gendo didn’t greet him when he walked in. Rei briefly popped her head out to tell him that she had set some leftovers from dinner aside for him, but went right back to doing her homework. It was a good thing Shinji didn’t mind his own company too much.
Although his home was unwelcoming, and he felt like he would never measure up to his father’s expectations no matter how hard he tried, Shinji actually felt like he was worth something for once. He felt like he was worth someone’s compassion. And, more surprisingly, he was excited to go to work tomorrow — he was excited to put on his stupid blue vest and pop in to see Kaworu in his equally-demeaning uniform.
It was weird, for sure, but…it wasn’t that bad, really.