Archive of Our Own

The screams had finally begun to die down. The metallic stench of blood burned his nostrils. The fumes from the crackling fires and the fear churning low in his stomach impeded his ability to breath. He had completely ignored Ebony Maw’s practiced speech, unable to hear it above his own thoughts, as his mind busily rehashed their desperate plan, but deep down he knew that it would not be enough.

“I know what it’s like to lose, to feel so desperately you are right, yet to fail nonetheless. It is frightening, turns the legs to jelly. I ask you to what end. Dread it, run from it, destiny arrives all the same. And now it’s here. Or should I say... I am.”  Thanos’ voice echoed through the wrecked hall. He handled Thor like a lifeless rag doll. Loki almost turned away unable to bear the sight, but something -whether it was fear or defiance was difficult to say- made him look at Thanos still.

Thanos’ lieutenants surrounded him, the same ones he had fought against and had miserably failed to vanquish. Powerless to protect what little remained of Asgard, all that was left to him was to watch it destroyed too.

“You talk too much.” slurred Thor. 

“The Tesseract. Or your brother’s head. I assume you have a preference.” stated Thanos impassively.

“Oh, I do. Kill away.” Loki said managing to keep his voice way more even and firm than he expected.

Thanos, currently holding Thor’s head, pressed the infinity stone against Thor’s temple. Then the purple stone blazed and Thor began to scream. Loki attempted to keep his emotions at bay, but his hold over them weakened as Thor’s pained cries transformed into gasps. He wouldn’t last much longer. As the stone started to spread its cursed tendrils on his brother’s head, Loki’s sentiment overcame him. “Alright, stop!” he shouted.

Thanos did indeed stop. “Give me the Tesseract.”

“We don’t have the Tesseract. It was destroyed on Asgard.” Thor choked out.

The guilty look Loki gave him was apparently enough to clarify the matter for him. “You really are the worst, brother.”

He gathered his composure. “I assure you brother, the sun will shine on us again.” In Valhalla. Because the first plan was doomed to fail, and the second... Well, the second, secret plan of his was not intricate and really nothing he hadn’t attempted to do before. His self-sacrifice on Svartalfheim had gone awry, as his continued survival seemed to attest, but better late than never. Thor was not going to die. Not if he had any say on the matter.

“Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian.”

“For one thing, I am not Asgardian-”

Loki looked down, concentrating, and summoned the Tesseract to his hand. Then he glared up, straight in Thanos’ eyes.

“-and for another, we have a Hulk.” He dropped the Tesseract and as the Hulk attacked, he reached for his brother, to pull him out of harm’s way.

But Thor -the noble great oaf that he was, couldn’t see that even he was out of his depth- joined in the fight. It was reckless of him and he only got himself chained by Ebony Maw. 

Loki was still watching from the side-lines, his quick mind calculating the best way to approach Thanos, when Heimdall, using the power of dark matter, transferred Hulk to Midgard. That only enraged Thanos more, and for his bravery, Heimdall’s only reward was death.

Thor’s “No! You will die for that.” pierced Loki’s heart. Would he be mourned for in the same way as Heimdall or were his past transgressions never truly forgiven? Perhaps everything could have been mended between them, had they been given the time. But they hadn’t. 

A piece of metal gagged Thor.

“-the universe lies within your grasp.” Thanos broke the Tesseract, placing the blue infinity stone it contained on the gauntlet.

“If you are going to Earth, you will need a guide. And I do have experience,” Loki said with a false bravado he did not feel in the slightest. 

Thanos regarded him sceptically. Loki’s mind was racing, ready for the impending rejection, a retort building at the top of his tongue. Then Thanos smirked. “I see you appear unwisely confident despite your previous failure. Very well, I will give you the chance to redeem yourself for your previous mistakes.” The gears on Loki’s mind stopped turning. What? “But do not think that you will not pay a heavy price for them.”

Loki did not know what to think. He did his best to conceal his surprise. “And what would that price be?”

The smirk on Thanos’ face did not falter for even a moment. “Your brother.”

No. No. No. This is not how it is supposed to end. I am the one who’s supposed to die. Not him.
 
Loki could see out of the corner of his eye the Children of Thanos moving to restrain him. He had already stretched himself thin during the previous fight, his seidr was nearly depleted, but still he couldn’t help himself; whatever little energy still permeated his very core was focused on an instinctual outwards blast of gold-green magic in all directions, but -of course- Ebony Maw counteracted it with a magical shield of his own. 

Despite the adrenaline coursing through his veins, Loki collapsed on his knees, barely able to keep himself upright. He felt completely exhausted; he tried to use his magic again, but his seidr flared weakly before fizzling out. Barely conscious, Loki was aware of metal restricting him, his numb limbs protesting under the added weight. As he was dragged through a portal -the Space Stone’s creation he thought, though he could only guess- he saw purple flames consuming the Statesman. 

As the portal closed behind Thanos, his hopes for Thor’s survival diminished. He let his head fall back down and struggling to keep his eyes open, he watched through the window of Sanctuary II as the Statesman exploded. He felt it his burden to bear, to stand as a silent witness as everything he had ever held dear was destroyed. There was no sound in the vastness of space, no material through which the waves of the shock could propagate but he still could swear that he felt the faintest of trembles going through the ship. He screwed his eyes shut, allowing for the void to consume him for one -hopefully- final time.

He woke in darkness. For a blessed moment, Loki thought himself to be in his chambers on Asgard. And only for that moment, he allowed his confusion to deceive him, to present every event of that horrible last decade as a dream. But the darkness was too absolute. That was what shattered the illusion. 

The crushing realisation that he was now alone in the universe, even if Valkyrie had managed to escape with the few Aesir they crammed into the escape pods, hit him. And yet he felt nothing. There was a hollow feeling in his chest, as though his very heart had been cut out of him. It reminded him of the peculiar ritualistic blood sacrifices that used to be conducted on Midgard, in the name of some obscure sun god. The thought made him want to laugh, but he abstained, knowing that his hysterical -or dare he say mad- laughter would inform the rest of the inhabitants of the ship that he had awoken.

He did not attempt to illuminate the darkness with his seidr, even though he could sense it, sluggishly swirling in his core, unrestrained if weakened. Instead, Loki tried his damnedest to slip back to oblivion and stay there as long as he could.

He did not quite manage so. He drifted between wakefulness and unconsciousness without finding peace. His thoughts were muddy, did not stick together right and half-remembered nightmares haunted his sleep.

Then a door opened and light flooded the room, chasing away the shadows of his dreams.

“Have you finished your nap, frostling?” Loki almost wished Thanos’ heavy voice was wrought with poison. That he revelled in the realisation of his dark promise. There will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice you can hide from him. Instead it carried a staunch indifference, like killing  Thor was no different than swatting a fly. And that was enough. Where previously apathy reigned, a cold hatred arose. No, that was no fair battle, not two armies meeting in a battlefield but a slaughter of innocents, of people who never had a chance to defend themselves-

But what had happened could not change now. Thor was feasting at Valhalla, alongside Odin and Frigga and so the duty to avenge his death fell on him. And so Loki would stop at nothing to see Thanos dead. The vestiges of a plan began forming in his mind. He would go along with whatever was needed from him until he found an opportunity to strike. Or better yet he could feed information to the opposing side. He already knew Midgard had at least two Infinity Stones, Mind and Time. With any luck the Avengers would have already been assembled. Loki was absolutely certain that if at all possible Banner would inform them of the situation.

That being said, he doubted that any part of the task ahead of him would be easy. Thanos was a great many things, but unfortunately for Loki, he was not a fool. His survival was not meant as a reward, but as a punishment. He would most certainly be kept on a very short leash, his reach would be even more limited than during the days of his failed invasion. Loki knew now that he was never meant to be anything more than a tool purposed to bring the Tesseract under Thanos’ control. Had Loki succeeded, he would have most certainly been disposed of. 

Realising he was silent way longer than he should have been, he willed the burning fury away from his eyes. He allowed them to lose focus and his expression to become vacant. Loki shrouded himself in indifference. It was far easier to achieve than it should be. Deep in his core, at the depths of the soul that he sometimes genuinely doubted he possessed the searing hot agony of Thor’s loss had not ebbed. But he was always weak where he should be strong and he understood that the only way to survive long enough to visit vengeance upon Thanos, was to lay low, to yield, to bend in order to avoid being broken. “Of course, Master,” the title left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“I see that you remember your place,” Thanos replied conversationally, and turned his head to his right. “Maw, place the enchantment,” he continued, before slowly turning away and departing.

Ebony Maw’s silhouette was delineated in the doorway, against the harsh light. Loki felt his heart beat faster. He didn’t know which enchantment they were referring to, but he could only guess it would be deeply unpleasant.

Loki mustered his courage, pushing himself up with trembling hands. Surely due to  weariness and not due to fear. And yet, it felt as though his blood turned to ice in his veins. He hoped his dread was not palpable. But, then again, Maw had never needed to see an emotion manifesting in someone’s face in order to know. 

Ebony Maw was floating towards him, and before he managed to climb to his feet, his head was engulfed by Maw’s hands, long fingers gripping his skull harshly and thumbs digging into his temples. Loki sensed, Maw’s magic building up and gritted his teeth. His seidr responded on instinct, much like how pulling a hand from a hot surface required no conscious thought on part of the person who was being burned, strengthening his mental defences as much as was possible in its weakened state.

“Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be,” Maw chided, overriding Loki’s defences with practiced ease. After all, he most certainly possessed knowledge of their weaknesses, having decimated them himself during Loki’s long year in the Void.

In the space of a single moment, Loki felt his mind open, then linked -chained-, to Maw’s. Then, just like that, it was over. Loki was left gasping, half-collapsed on the floor, and Maw withdrew his hands. Distantly, he recognised the enchantment; its feel was similar to the one that had been placed on him by the Other. But something was ever so slightly different.

All of the sudden, he felt terribly drained. Loki wanted to simply allow himself to collapse, but held back. With terrible difficulty, he raised his head to face Maw, a monster much worse than the ones whose presence haunted his childhood’s dreams. Loki knew that there was no point in hiding his defiance. Not when Ebony Maw could reach his very thoughts.

“It matters not what you desire, Loki of Asgard. Thanos shall bring balance to the universe, just as surely as you shall be punished for your failings,” Maw mused. “This link between us will serve as both a way to know your thoughts and a way to hold your discipline. If you disobey, which you inevitably will, you will be held accountable. You believe that you cannot be broken further, but let me assure you this is not the case. I’ve seen you brought low already once and I’ll see you be brought to heel again, even unto death, should your actions prove that necessary.”

Loki held his eyes, glaring daggers at him for the whole duration of his speech. Little does he know that death holds no fear over me. Not anymore.

Maw’s eyes were trained on him knowingly. 

“Brother,” came the voice of Proxima Midnight from the open door, “Father has some final commands to sanction.”

Maw lowered his head slowly, in lieu of an actual nod. “His wish is my command. Lead on.”

They went away, leaving Loki alone with his thoughts. 

Apparently, not for long. Not half a quarter had passed, when the metal door slid open again. Cull Obsidian stood in the doorway, his massive form blocking the light. Loki could barely distinguish his features in the semidarkness, and so it was completely possible that he imagined the stony glare.

“Get up and follow me.” His voice was filled with disdain. 

During Loki’s first stay with Thanos, most of the Black Order made no secret that they viewed him as weak and expendable. His failure was most expected of them and he assumed most probably reinforced these notions. There was a time when he would have been offended about that. But now he couldn’t care less.

Loki had little choice but to obey. With his hand braced against the wall, he unsteadily rose to his feet. Cull turned his back and began walking, while Loki was struggling to match his quick pace. He stumbled, more than once, but nevertheless managed to not fall.

As they walked through Sanctuary II, memories buried deep attempted to resurface. A year’s worth of torture and agony, that should have been impossible to bear. And yet, he felt detached from himself, as though he watched himself from afar, all of his movements strangely efficient and mechanical. Somewhere distantly he recognised that this was not the first time this had happened; he had felt much the same after his fall through the Void. This peculiar numbness acted as a protective shell and he wanted nothing more than to burrow deeply in it. He knew he needed to in order to survive. In order to avenge Thor.

Loki only realised they had reached their destination when Cull halted abruptly. It was nothing impressive really; just one more metal door in a spaceship full of them. As he stared, more details became apparent. Cull was entering a code, in a dull grey keypad with an equally uninteresting blue screen. The symbols were alien to him; even the Allspeak failed to translate them. Although, many things in the Void would be completely alien to Asgard, so that was hardly a surprise. He tried to mark the series of the symbols being used, it seemed as though they could be useful later.

Once the door opened, Cull went in without a word, clearly expecting Loki to follow. It only took a moment for him to realise what that room was; an escape pod. By all means, Loki should be dreading it. Being in an even smaller enclosed space, being surrounded by the stars even more intimately. But the curious calmness that had laid claim on him persisted even as he stepped in.

As Cull calibrated the controls, Loki wondered whether he should bother asking where they were going. Midgard most probably, since it possessed both Mind and Time. As the escape pod started, Loki decided against that. 

In the end, it was just to a different spaceship. It was circular and enormous, and while its shape allowed for artificial gravity due to its rotation (a rather old-fashioned way for generating gravity), it must do it no favours when it came to entering an atmosphere or landing. Their destination was Midgard, as he learnt from Ebony’s and Cull’s few exchanged sentences. Which meant that Thanos was heading elsewhere. In a way, it was a relief. On the other hand, it complicated matters. Had he located the Aether? Or, perhaps even worse, the Soul Stone? Loki could remember the muted whispers on his first stay with Thanos about his favoured daughter, sent on a quest to find it. Had she succeeded in locating it?

The flight was far from long. There were a few jumps to be made, and soon enough, they had entered Midgard’s atmosphere. Loki tried not to think how close to Midgard the Statesman must have been, before the attack interrupted its trajectory once and for all. 

As they descended to the city, which by the landmark of the Stark Tower, he would guess was the same he had invaded in what felt like a lifetime ago. Below, he could see people staring or running away from the peculiar sight of the circular spaceship hovering above them.

“They scramble like ants whose nest is flooded with water,” commented Maw wryly. Out of all the Black Order, he was the most talkative one, prone to musings about anything really.

Loki held his silence. He could not say he cared much for the mortals, but they were the ones in possession of the stones and therefore of great import to the coming battle. 

The door opened creating a relatively small -at least for the proportions of the spaceship- metal incline that hovered several meters above the ground. Maw glided down with ease, gracefully lowering himself with his magic and Cull Obsidian just jumped. Loki opted for the latter.

The fall was hardly enough to cause him any real damage, though in his weakened state it jarred him. Once on the ground, and after allowing for a moment to regain his bearings, Loki immediately focused on his surroundings. Apart from the occasional scream from fleeing civilians, he recognised the sounds of a battle from a few streets afar. It seemed as though Maw and Obsidian had not wasted any time before getting started.

A sharp pang in his temples reminded him abruptly that he was still, in fact, linked with Ebony Maw. Loki understood pain as a means for control. It was the brute force method of torture; simplistic but usually effective. His new master (though Ebony would certainly deny that title) beckoned to him and Loki, like the obedient cur he was playing at being, would follow. Only for as long as I need to. At that thought, the pain became almost crippling, before fading away in the background once more.

Loki arrived in the battle shortly after, only to find Maw having already incapacitated Strange, the cords wrapped around his body and his neck strangling him to unconsciousness. The cloak he was wearing flew him away before Maw could grab him.

Stop him. Now! Came the command through the link and Loki erected a green, shimmering barrier. The cloak did not manage to counterman it and both it and Strange slammed against it with a loud thud.

Stark and an unknown figure dressed in red turned their attention towards Loki, and he had to swirl out of the way of a beam, only barely avoiding it.

“Reindeer Games. You are not so dead after all. And still in league with your old boss I see,” shouted Stark, his hand extended forward, palm open and clearly ready to blast another beam.

Loki prepared to dodge. Maw was occupied and Loki wondered whether he could slither away. However, he didn’t have time to do so, as the tractor beam of the ship had been activated. Loki understood it a second too late, feeling the weightlessness (not unlike the Bifrost and yet so different) as he was pulled up, before he landed hard on the spaceship’s floor. 

For a few moments, he just laid there motionless. Thus far, he had only helped them. Loki wanted to be sick. He did not want to go on. He closed his eyes. Images of his people dying, of Thor’s torture, of the Statesman exploding were etched behind his eyelids.

And just like that the flame rekindled. He shoved himself back to his feet.

Loki would not let his brother, his people down again. He would succeed. He had to, at any cost.

The duty assigned to him, apparently, was to search the ship, in case the pesky Midgardians had somehow managed to get on board. Maw’s presence in his mind felt weaker now that he had to concentrate on breaking the will of the sorcerer, whose parlour tricks seemed to cause Maw particular difficulty.

Loki was certain that once he would have found it amusing. He didn’t seem to be able to feel, much less enjoy anything now. He would have wondered if he’d ever be able to do so again, if he did not know the answer already.

As it was the situation presented an opportunity. But he did his best to quiet such thoughts, lest they be exposed, and focus on the practicalities of locating any possible intruders. For purposes of discretion, he had masked his presence, a spell much less taxing than invisibility, taking advantage of people’s tendency to perceive the world only as they expected it to be.

In the end, it wasn’t terribly hard. Their hushed murmurs and more noisy footsteps were enough. They were standing behind the corner of the corridor, whispering to each other. Loki elected to eavesdrop for a few moments.

“You should not be here,” said Stark to the young man wearing a red costume.

Then, determining that it was safe, Loki emerged.

“I was gonna go home-,” the young man started. Loki could see the exact moment the man caught sight of him, by the widening of his eyes. “Behind you!”

Stark turned immediately, his face covered once more in metal, hand raised, aiming for Loki. Loki’s wry smile did not reach his eyes, as he raised his hands in the air, an unspoken promise to not do harm.

A promise that went unheeded, as an energy pulse was fired in his direction. But Loki was ready for hostilities, dancing out of its way. 

He had lived for a thousand years, and seen his fair share of battlegrounds. It was almost an instinct, to not let fear or panic overcome his senses, to barely feel it at all. A useful instinct, as it would not alert Maw that anything was out of sorts. At least as long as he was distracted.

“There’s no need for that, Stark,” Loki said, infusing his voice with an artificial arrogance, one he felt too world-weary to really exert. “I am not here to cause you any trouble. I merely desire to offer you a bargain.”

For a moment, there was only stunned silence. “Because you are so trustworthy,” Stark replied.

“Isn’t this the guy who invaded New York a decade or so ago?” the man, or rather adolescent in the cusp of adulthood, now that Loki appraised him more closely, asked.

“On behalf of Thanos no less,” added Stark and Loki almost frowned, wondering at how the mortals had acquired this information, before remembering Banner. 

The more Loki interacted with Stark, the more he remembered about what Barton had told him of Stark, when he was gathering information during his last visit to Midgard. Perhaps there was a common ground to be found. He did not want to reveal his vulnerability, his pain, his weakness. But Loki had learnt that sometimes, one had to give ground to their opponent, allow a small defeat, to win the larger battle. No matter if that was unpleasant. He took a moment to think on how to broach the subject.

“I assume that you have studied the sceptre,” Loki said tightly. “Do you fathom what it contains?”

“The Mind Stone,” Stark responded, apparently curious to see where this was going.

Loki nodded. “And can you imagine what function this aptly named artefact performs?”

Stark shrugged. “You used it to mind control people.”

“Correct,” Loki answered. Then his voice quieted. “And... unbeknown to me, I was under its influence as well.” Hopefully, he could get out of it by only sharing crumbs of information.

“You can’t expect me to believe you. You are the literal God of Lies! Not to mention, that a smashing from the Hulk should be enough for cognitive recalibration, and I don’t recall you saying anything about this after your defeat.” However, he had already somewhat lowered his arm.

Loki forced his face into a neutral expression. “I wasn’t...,” Loki cleared his throat, forcing the words out. “It wasn’t the same as your archer. It was amplification and twisting, of pre-existent thoughts, not mere domination,” he said keeping his voice low and calm.

“Even if that’s true, this doesn’t absolve you. It means that you felt murderous even before the brainwashing.” Loki could almost hear the query in Stark’s voice; was this your best attempt at deception? Alas, truth is scarcely if ever convincing. Lies at least have the dignity of keeping appearances.

“Some of them were,” Loki admitted. “But not all. Sometimes, even I am uncertain of which were there before, and which were planted by Maw.” He still felt far removed from the situation. It made talking easier than it should be under other circumstances.

“You still haven’t addressed the most pressing issue, Rock of Ages. If you were coerced, why the hell would you work with them now?”

“You assume that I do so willingly,” Loki looked behind his back. “We don’t have much time. And honestly, I don’t care much whether you trust me or not. In Midgard, the Black Order was after the Time and Mind. You better inform your allies of that.”

“I can’t. And if that is the case, they’ll probably have already figured it out.”

Loki nodded. “Good. I can lead you to Maw, but I doubt that I’ll be able to assist in the battle.”

“And why is that?” the youth chimed in. 

“And most importantly, why would we trust you not to lead us into a trap?” 

“You can’t trust me. But you don’t have a choice. If I wanted, I could have already given away your position, and you would be heading into a trap regardless of whether you followed me or not.”

The adolescent’s face was open and easy to read. He was afraid, that much was clear, but brave enough to have come this far. “We should go,” he said.

“Peter...” Stark said, doubtful.

“He’s right. We don’t have a choice. Not really.”

Stark considered it for a few moments. “Fine,” he said, almost sullenly, “we go with you. But if you betray us-”

Loki smirked wickedly, even though he had no real wont for theatrics at the moment. “You’ll kill me?”

“If you necessitate it, then yes.”

Loki’s smirk stretched wider, revealing teeth. “I expect nothing less, Stark.”

The youth seemed unnerved by the conversation. “So where do we head to?” he asked, pulling on his mask.

“We could go straight to Maw. But I have a better idea,” Loki assured, not having let go of his mad grin yet.

Stark’s mask made his face unreadable. “And that is?”

Loki did not bother to mask their presence, for Maw would certainly see right through that spell. If they were lucky, Maw’s smug self-assurance would be enough for them to go unnoticed, until it was too late for him. And hopefully, he would not have broken the Midgardian sorcerer yet. 

With Stark and Peter (or Spiderman, as he introduced himself) hiding behind a corridor corner, outside his view, Loki cast their illusions, locked in deadly combat with himself.

The only problem was that the pain and distress should be tangible and real, for them to be communicated through the link convincingly enough. Physical pain was a possibility, of course, and getting Stark to shoot him would not be terribly hard, Loki wagered. But, there was a less messy alternative. Loki steeled himself, and thought of the last thing he wanted to.

Thor. He tried to focus on the emotion it evoked, the hopelessness and fear, rather than a particular notion in his mind. When he felt Maw’s presence in his mind grow stronger, he focused on his surroundings again, giving more life to the illusions, pushing the image and his emotions through the link.

They did not have to wait for long. Ebony Maw appeared at the end of the corridor, his hand outstretched, using telekinesis to throw a metal beam at the illusions. Upon contact, it dissolved.

Instantly, a blinding pain took root behind Loki’s eyes. His knees buckled, his eyes screwed shut and he raised his hands to clutch his bowed head. Through the fog, Loki heard footsteps approaching. Then, Maw’s fingers touched his temples. He felt Maw rummaging through his mind, seeking to find what Loki had planned, and there was only pain, deep and all encompassing-

And all of a sudden, the pain was lifted, and Loki could breathe once more. He lifted his head, arms falling to rest on his knees. His allies had attacked Maw from behind. Maw had turned to face them and thrown them back into the wall. 

Loki got up, summoning a dagger and flinging it at Maw, aiming for his back. The blade embedded itself deep between Maw’s shoulder blades, and Loki would have rejoiced, had he not known that this would not have been enough to slay Maw. But it was enough to give a moment of respite to Stark and Peter. The pain came back with a vengeance, and Loki crumbled to the floor  again.

“Hold on!” Loki heard Stark shout through the haze.

There was a sound similar to that of a missile being launched, so loud that it was difficult to ignore. Then, a boom and the resounding screech of metal being torn apart. 

The pain was gone in an instant, as well as the heat of the explosion. And he was being sucked out into space, once again falling, with no hope and no destination-

Something hit his chest, and suddenly Loki was being hauled up back to the spaceship. 

When his feet touched solid ground, and as Stark repaired the hole left behind, Loki took the time to see what had latched onto his armour. He was only somewhat surprised to see that it was a thin white substance that was awfully reminiscent of a web.

“You are very heavy Mr. Loki,” commented Peter.

“I’m not Midgardian. I’m an Aesir.” Liar. “We may look similar, but our internal structures are very different. Mine is far denser than yours.” Loki wrapped his hands around the web and pulled. It unlatched from his chest plate easily. 

The boy blinked. He probably knew that Loki was of a different species, but did not connect those two facts immediately. 

Stark cleared his throat. The hole must have been closed. Loki turned to face him.

“So, where is the doctor?”

“Near the control room. Cull must be lurking somewhere nearby as well.”

“The tall, ugly, muscular guy?”

Loki nodded. “That does sounds like an accurate description of him.”

“Okay. And how do we deal with him?”

“He is not very sensitive to seidr. He won’t be an issue.”

“Seidr?” Peter asked.

“Magic,” Loki explained.

Stark’s eyebrows were raised. “Alrighty then. So are you gonna do some hocus pocus and get rid of him?”

Loki shrugged. “That’s the plan.”

“Would you care to elaborate?”

The mortal was becoming annoying. But Loki had precious few allies at the moment, and could not afford to lose any of them.

And so Loki elaborated.

Defeating Cull went smoother than Loki expected. He took Maw’s form and Cull did not even notice, not until the dagger was slipped between his ribs, straight into his heart. 

Now, Loki sat down next to the controls, as he would have collapsed had he remained standing and looked at Cull’s blood pooling on the floor, wondering whether Cull had realised what was going on during his last, rather painful moments. Loki hoped he did. Hoped that the realisation had made him ache all the more. He deserved it. Cull had had no mercy, and so he deserved none.

The Midgardians were rather busy, occupying themselves with helping the sorcerer, while Loki was looking at the controls. They had all collectively decided to face Thanos before he could collect more stones, in hopes of catching him by surprise. A plan that was doomed to fail, but Loki did not object. He would either kill Thanos or die trying. For his people. For Thor. 

Loki stared off into the distance, trying desperately not to think. Not about how he had failed them, not about how they were now lost forever. You really are the worst, brother. And wasn’t that true?

Stark was looking at him intently, as if he was considering something carefully. Loki was tempted to simply ask him to spit it out  but Stark did so without his prompting. “What happened to Thor?”

It took a while for Loki to feel like he was able to speak with a steady voice. “Gone,” he whispered.

He expected some kind of witty reply, or perhaps even outright accusation, but Stark only stared at him, eyebrows furrowed. “Bruce had said  you were attacked but I didn’t think... Shit. I’m sorry.”

“You assume that I care.” The lie tasted bitter on his tongue.

“You have a good poker face, I’ll give you that. That doesn’t mean that I’m blind, you know.”

“Believe what you will, Stark. It does not change the truth,” Loki said, feeling the empty place where his heart should be twist painfully. Thor was killed because of me, he wanted to say, but he held his tongue. Eventually, Stark just sighed and went away, muttering something, to himself or to his mortal companions, Loki could not tell.

The boy was sensible enough to leave Loki be, but the same could not be said for the sorcerer. 

“What do you want?” Loki bit out, when Strange appeared next to him.

“To offer my condolences.”

“I don’t care for them.”

“Evidently. Still, it seems as though, since we are on the same side, I should offer them regardless.”

Loki didn’t want to hear any of this. He turned to the window and let his gaze wander over the deserted features of Titan. They were almost there now.

Ignoring Strange akin to a child sticking their fingers into their ears, was more effective than he thought it would be. Soon enough, he was left alone.

Despite the rather rocky landing, Loki felt he had recovered most of his expended powers. He emerged from the ruins of the spaceship as if in a trance, and stumbled upon Strange, who floated crossed-legged, the Time Stone’s magic surrounding him with threads of green seidr. Strange’s head was moving in jerky motions, eyes skittering left and right, perceiving things that only he could see.

The mortals were watching, Stark in confusion and Peter in quiet awe, as Strange made use of the Time Stone.

“What is he doing?” queried the boy.

“Hell if I know,” answered Stark. He glanced at Loki’s direction. “Rock of Ages! Can you tell us what’s going on here?”

Loki eyed the sorcerer and resolutely did not heave a sigh. “Strange makes use of the Eye of Agamatto.”

Stark rolled his eyes. “I know that genius. What I meant was, what is he doing with it?”

Loki shrugged. “I believe he sees possible futures.”

Stark paused. “Is that even possible?”

Before Loki could cross his arms and answer that yes, of course it was, Strange started forward with a cry.

“You’re back. You are alright-” Stark said in what Loki supposed was an attempt to sooth. 

They had no time for this nonsense. “What did you see?” Loki cut in.

Stark glared at him, but Loki could not care less.

“Fourteen million, six hundred and six possibilities.”

 “And in how many did we win?” Stark asked.

Strange turned to look at him. He paused briefly. “One.”

Then his eyes were on Loki again. “For the best possible outcome to occur, you are needed on Earth.”

Loki’s mouth went dry. “What? I need to be here, to face him-”

“No. If you remain here, everything will come to ruin.”

And I don’t care, was at the tip of his tongue, but Thor would care, if he were here. But Thor wasn’t here, not anymore. And whose fault is that? The guilt gnawed at him. “Fine.”

Strange relaxed. He stood up, his arms stretched out in front of him, moving in circular motions. A portal was created a few meters away. Loki did not hesitate. He crossed the yellow, sparkling circle, and found himself on Midgard.

Or at least Loki though he was on Midgard. The buildings that loomed in the distance were in some ways more reminiscent of Asgard than Midgard. The hollow space in his chest ached for home. And Asgard was home, despite everything that had happened. 

He barely had time to take note of anything else, before being accosted by a group of female warriors.

“What are you doing on our lands, foreigner?”

“Your land? Where may that be?” Loki responded, keeping the tone of his voice amiable.

One woman, the one Loki had assumed was their leader, eyed him sceptically. “You are in Wakanda,” she said, eyebrows raised.

“Okoye, I think-” a younger woman started, before her voice was lowered to a whisper and Loki did not bother attempting to distinguish the words.

Instead he just observed. The younger one was dressed differently than the rest of them, and held herself in an almost regal manner. Whatever she said to Okoye, the latter’s stance hardened almost imperceptibly. Well, almost. Loki had seen his fair share of battles, and knew when a warrior was bracing for one. The younger woman stepped back, maybe to be protected by them or to simply allow them the space to work. Loki kept his body lax and his arms hanging loosely by his side. He would defend himself, should he need to, but still was confident that it wouldn’t be necessary. 

“Loki,” said Okoye, “if you surrender peacefully, no harm will come to you.”

Strange must have a reason to send me here, Loki thought. Or perhaps he just wanted to be rid of you, a snide voice replied. However, now there was no way but through.

Loki opened his palms, stretching them forward, to indicate that he didn’t hide any weapons. “I beg your pardon, Lady Okoye, but I will not surrender. I’m here for a matter of great import. Thanos is seeking the Mind Stone, and he must be stopped at any cost.”

The young woman spoke, “what do you know about Thanos?”

“Princess Shuri, stay behind me,” Okoye said, her eyes trained on Loki.

“Enough to know that is of utmost importance to stop him.”

“King T’Challa will be the judge of that,” answered Okoye.

Loki contemplated his options. At this point... They weren’t many. He didn’t even know where he was or where the Mind Stone was. He kept his voice neutral as he said, “I will come.”

Okoye nodded stiffly, and gestured to him with her hand to start walking. Loki did so, not allowing himself to show any discomfort. Although the warriors did not blink at the revelation of his identity, there was a wariness in their pose that spoke of readiness for a coming, inevitable battle. Not that he blamed them for that. He could only do his best to appear non-threatening and hope that he did not wind up looking suspicious instead. Princess Shuri seemed to be the most relaxed, occasionally glancing curiously at him.

Loki allowed them to lead him towards the city. As they neared the buildings, a Quinjet flew above them, landing only a few meters away. Okoye cursed in her native tongue and quickened her pace, her warriors following suit. Loki turned to Princess Shuri, who he judged as more likely to tolerate his queries, to ask what was going on, but a vaguely familiar voice interrupted him. “Loki! You’re alive!”

Loki caught a glimpse of Bruce Banner, beside Captain America, Black Widow and a man he did not recognise. He turned to face them fully, and heard Okoye swear again, as he arranged his features in a neutral mask. Bruce had already begun to walk towards Loki, despite Rogers’ attempt to put a hand on his shoulder. As Bruce drew closer he must have taken in Loki’s state, how he was drenched in blood and caked with grime, for he frowned and asked, “are you alright?”

Loki’s first instinct was to laugh. When he did so, it came out mad and hysterical. He didn’t expect any better. But it seemed to make Bruce stop short. “Where’s Thor?” he enquired, as if the thought had only just now occurred to him. 

Loki’s broken laugh tapered off and died. He had no idea what the look on his face was, but it was enough to make Bruce mutter under his breath, “Shit.”

Bruce turned to the rest of his compatriots and talked quickly and low enough to them so that Loki could not hear. Bruce had undoubtedly said something about him, but Loki did not care to know what.

The Captain clearly objected, while the Widow turned to look at Loki, as if she were appraising a broken, but potentially valuable antique. She whispered something in response and Bruce nodded. The Captain seemed to require a little more convincing, but a few sentences more and he relented.

Then Rogers spoke to Okoye. “Bruce vouches for him. He says that Loki is a changed man.”

Her eyes narrowed as Okoye considered this. Princess Shuri whispered something in Okoye’s ear, and she pressed her lips together tightly. “I will give him to your custody, if you believe you have need of him, but don’t ask me to set him free on our land without our King’s expressed permission.”

The Captain nodded, “Thank you.” He glanced at Loki. “Follow us,” he said in a commanding tone, and Loki could not have cared less for his wishes, even as he obeyed the order.

Everyone around Loki was wary. Loki understood the coming danger better than most, but he knew that his presence only exacerbated the tension of the situation. Bruce was awkwardly attempting to include him in the conversation about what to do when Thanos arrived, but once Loki judged that his contribution was unnecessary, Loki retreated.

He sat on an internal window ledge, overlooking the fields that would soon turn into a battlefield, and feeding on his all-consuming hatred of Thanos, readying himself for a final fight he was unsure they would allow him to join. It mattered not. Whether they wanted him or not, he would fight. And he would make sure that the Mad Titan suffered for the injustices he had inflicted.

The door behind him opened. Loki did not turn to look who entered the room. “I expected for the Widow to come first and assess me.”

“If she had considered you dangerous, you would have already been put in a cage,” said Shuri.

“You assume that I would stay there,” Loki murmured.

That must have made her uncomfortable, for a stagnant sort of silence fell. “They said you are a mage,” Shuri spoke, cutting to the chase.

“Indeed I am.”

She hesitated for a moment, before speaking again, perhaps trying to decide if the offer she was about to make was a good idea. “I am attempting to extract the Mind Stone from Vision. Wanda is a powerful witch but she lacks experience. Yet, she suspects that perhaps she could aid the process. We were hoping that you could help as well.”

Loki considered her. An idea sprang to mind. “I will, on one condition.”

Shuri frowned. “What condition?”

“When Thanos arrives, I want to fight.”

Shuri nodded. “I can arrange for that, as long as you help us.”

“I will.”

The room was bright white and in the centre upon the metal cot lay a figure Loki had not seen before. Vision, he assumed. A golem, constructed by Midgardian magic. The Mind Stone protruded, yellow and shiny on his forehead. Next to him, a machine, Midgard’s local brand of magic, was humming unpleasantly.

“How do you intend to remove the stone?” Loki enquired. 

“We will reprogram the synapses to work collectively without the need for the Stone. But there are more than two trillion neurons here. So it will take time.”

“If you let me see the device we are using and get a sense of it, then perhaps, I could direct it with my magic, make the process more time efficient.”

“You can do that?” asked Bruce, sounding intrigued.

Loki nodded. “I could teach this witch of yours how. With the two of us the process will be easier-”

“Something’s just entered the atmosphere,” Okoye informed them, checking her bracelet.

“We better get started, we are running out of time,” said Bruce.

Loki envied the ones who left for the battle. But they didn’t have much choice, not if they were to win. He was staring through the window, to the lines of soldiers awaiting for the battle to commence, when Wanda entered the room.

She exchanged a fleeting glance with Vision, before turning to Loki. “Thank you, for helping us, and I’m sorry for your loss.”

Loki froze and swallowed hard. “Shall we begin?”

The operation began. Loki focused the beam, with Wanda’s help, and even though she was hesitant at the beginning, she proved to be very capable of controlling her power.

As they kept working, his forehead sweated and Loki began to feel a bit faint. He stole some glances of the battle raging beneath them. Things did not appear to be going their way. They may not admit it to themselves, but the battle would be lost. Especially if they stuck to the plan. The Midgardians wanted to destroy the stone, but was that even possible? And even if it was, was it not reversible should one have access to the rest of the Infinity Stones?

Mayhap they should use it instead. His mind was already humming, imagining ways to use the Mind Stone on the Titan. Loki would have to get close, too close to ne safe. Should something go wrong, he would die. But would it truly matter, when there was no one left to mourn him?

With a barely audible pop, the Mind Stone came loose. The machine shut down, ceasing its endless cacophony. Wanda raised her hands, ready to destroy it.

“It won’t work,” Loki said.

Wanda did not take her eyes from the Stone. “What do you mean?”

“If Thanos has gathered the rest of them, and he must have as he is here, then he will be able to reverse this.”

“How could he do that?”

“With the Time Stone.”

“We don’t have another option,” Shuri interrupted.

Loki stared her in the eyes. His illusion had already been put in place. “Except, there is.”

“You don’t expect us to trust you with the Mind Stone,” Shuri said.

“I wouldn’t expect that from anyone,” Loki’s illusory duplicate replied nonchalantly. “I’m just letting you know.”

He knew the moment Shuri understood what was going on by her yelling orders to the guards to restrain him. But by then it was too late. He didn’t know how Wanda reacted, for he had already grabbed the Mind Stone and disappeared.

Loki emerged from the shadow path at the epicentre of the battle. He carved a lone line through the Outriders, searching for their leader. It oughtn’t be very hard. Now that he had the Mind Stone, Thanos should be searching for him as well. He barely felt his own exhaustion, now that his purpose stood with clarity in his mind. So close. He was so close. Then there would be peace, of one kind or another.

Soon enough, an ominous flare, coming from somewhere in the woods, caught his eye. Loki made his way there, cautious now, every sense heightened. The universe hung in the balance, quite literally this time.

Thanos stood there, amidst the glade, fallen Midgardian soldiers surrounding him. Some of them seemed alive still, though incapable of movement at the moment.

“Frostling, you came. I was certain I would have to lead a chase for you, craven thing that you are.”

“I had no reason to run, Master.”

The Titan cocked his head, “Is that so?”

“I am here, am I not?” Loki fell on one knee. “I am a changed man, here to pledge my undying allegiance to the almighty Thanos.”

He raised his hand holding the Mind Stone tightly, lowering his head in a supplicant’s position. He would only get one chance at this. One chance to set things right, to avenge the fallen. Loki heard the heavy footsteps of Thanos nearing. As soon as the Titan touched the stone, the ruse became apparent. The stone was a mere illusion.

Loki sprung to his feet, and brought the real Mind Stone to the Titan’s head. Then, he channelled all of his anger, all of his hatred, all of his pain, through the stone, in a desperate bid to control the Titan’s mind.

He had to push with all of his mental strength, his will, to get this done. As the Titan appeared hazed, Loki kept the stone there, and went to remove the Infinity Gauntlet. He started to pull and it started to move, and suddenly the hand of the Titan grabbed his throat.

In his panic, Loki struggled in the grip of the Titan, and all at once, the control he had gained over Thanos was lost. The Mind Stone slipped from his hand, and Loki knew it was over. The Mad Titan’s expression was one of true anger, as he squeezed, lifting Loki higher by the throat. He strained to breath, panting, as his feet kicked without any coordination, and his hands clawed at the Titan’s arms. He couldn’t breath, he was going to die-

Someone screamed his name. He heard it with startling clarity through the haze, even if it took a moment for him to recognise who the voice belonged to. Thor. That was not possible. Except if it was, if his name was called as he was bid to Valhalla-

Something hit the Titan hard. He felt it even before they both collapsed to the ground. The hand that held his breath captive went lax, and Loki instinctively crawled away. All the while he breathed greedily the fresh air, no matter how much it hurt his battered throat.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a weapon swing and flinched when it landed on Thanos, separating his head from his body. He took a good look at the Titan, finally dead, and his gaze shifted to Thor, alive and hale, before allowing himself to collapse to the ground once more, shifting so he could face the sun. Everything is fine. Thor is alive. All is well. 

Loki hadn’t realised that he had closed his eyes until strong arms slipped beneath his shoulders and behind his knees. He was lifted high and that was surprise enough for Loki to open his eyes. “The Mind Stone,” he croaked, suddenly remembering that it would not do to leave it lying around for anyone to stumble upon it.

“I’ve picked it up and will deliver it and the Gauntlet to the Midgardians,” Thor responded, his voice soothing the aches in Loki’s heart.

“Ah,” he answered, coughing weakly.

“Loki... how much seidr did you expend?”

“Not enough to kill me, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

The hands holding him tightened their grip. “What you did was incredibly foolish. We’ll need to talk about it,” his voice was tight, almost angry and if he had the energy Loki would have flinched. But he was already fading. Knowing that Thor was alive and whole, he shut his eyes and let the dark overcome him.

Loki floated into wakefulness slowly. Slow enough to perceive someone speaking. Or rather two people, speaking to each other. One voice was familiar, carrying a feeling of home and thunder. As the fog dispersed, Loki recognised it as Thor’s. The other voice was more difficult to pin down. It took him a while to realise it was the Captain’s.

Loki feigned sleep until Rogers went away. When he heard the door open and close, he opened his eyes. Thor was standing there facing the window, his back turned to Loki.

Loki pushed himself up to sit. It was more difficult than it had any right to be. Still, he managed. The light sounds of the sheets moving against each other was evidently enough to rouse Thor from whatever trance he was lost in.

His head snapped towards Loki. Then a small, hesitant smile graced his lips. “Brother, you are finally awake.”

Loki watched as Thor came to sit in the cot beside him, a crooked grin resting on his face. “How long has it been?” he rasped.

“Two days,” Thor answered. There were dark circles under his eyes, lingering traces of a bone deep weariness. Or perhaps a sign of something worse lurking beneath the surface. Now that Loki observed him closer, his brother was rather tense.

Loki steeled himself for the question. “Is something the matter?”

“You had me worried.”

“Ah. I told you I would be alright. In fact, I feel much better now,” Loki replied, seeking to assuage his brother’s fears.

“Loki... what happened? On the Statesman, you courted an alliance with Thanos, though it clearly did not go the way you envisioned.”

Loki could not help the bitter laugh that escaped him. “You must think me a fool, to believe that I would enter into a willing alliance with the Mad Titan.”

“But you said that you have done so before,” Thor went on stubbornly.

“I may have omitted the details, brother mine, but the year I spent in the Void was not a pleasant one. I am not foolish enough to wish for a repeat.”

His brother stiffened. “What did he do to you?” he spoke gently and Loki bristled.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

Thor’s face was marred by a frown. “Like what?”

“Like you pity me.”

Thor brought his hand to rest on Loki’s nape. “I am not. You are my kin, my brother and I care for you, and love you, always have and always will,” he said earnestly.

Loki swallowed. Thor seemed so honest in his sentimentality, and he had to wonder if anything was always so simple for him. Still, when he said that, Loki felt something nearing relief.

Thor’s voice broke the silence. “Our Midgardian allies are uneasy with you, especially after you stole the Mind Stone.”

“I think they only ever considered me an ally due to necessity.”

Thor let his hand fall. “That is irrelevant. I am guessing you took it as part of the foolhardy plan that saw you almost choked to death.”

“It was the only choice.”

Thor’s gaze pierced him. “Perhaps,” he allowed, “but if you had asked for assistance, it would have had a greater chance of success.”

They wouldn’t have believed me, Loki thought, but remained silent. It was not something he could blame them for. His reputation preceded him- and it was not a good one.

“I will talk to them, make sure they see that you only did what you thought best,” Thor said and Loki nodded. The longer he stayed sitting, the more his head spun. He had not yet overcome his malaise.

Loki fisted his hands in the soft fabric of the sheets, grounding himself. Thor must have sensed his struggles, for he helped Loki lower himself back on the bed.

“You didn’t regale the tale of your glorious new weapon...” Loki mumbled into the pillow and heard Thor laugh, for the first time since he awoke.

“I will, brother, once you are feeling stronger and more hale.”

Half-asleep, Loki smiled. It was good to have Thor back from the dead.

Loki was aboard the Statesman again. He was standing in front of the window staring out into the blackness of space, stars glimmering in myriad of colours, when he came. And Loki ran. He ran and ran, the option of hiding never crossing his mind as an option; nor did fighting a futile, losing battle. The environment around him shifted, tall buildings rising, people and cars on the streets, but he continued, on and on, as he chased him through dark alleys and populated streets alike, leaving nothing but devastation in his wake. Eventually Loki reached a dead end, and he drew near and nearer still; hand in gauntlet reaching ready to squeeze the life out of him-

Loki started awake with a scream from the top of his lungs. His heart was racing. His hands were clammy. With trembling hands, he wiped the sweat off his brow. Then he pushed himself up, pressed his back to the wall and curled up, head on his knees, attempting to get his breathing under control.

He had almost managed it, when a knock came from the door. “Come in,” he said hoarsely, already knowing who it was.

Thor opened the door slowly, as though hesitant. “Are you well?”

“I should be the one to ask you. I interrupted your rest,” Loki said, trying resolutely to keep the embarrassment out of his voice. Nigh a year had passed, and he still had night terrors. Not that he did not have them before the Statesman, or in his cell on Asgard, but at least then he could conceal them easily from Thor.

His brother continued standing in the doorway awkwardly. “You did not interrupt anything,” he said soothingly, and Loki recognised that as an admission of yet another sleepless night for Thor. It was not as unusual as Loki would prefer it to be; his brother was burdened as well, both from past battles as well as from ongoing ones. After all, kingship was a rather unique burden. It may have suited Loki ill, but even his golden brother seemed unable to bear it without help.

Thor let himself inside the room, and soon enough, Loki felt the mattress dip, as his brother came to sit beside him, their shoulders touching.

“Is it ever going to end?” Loki heard himself ask. He expected for Thor to ask for clarification, but instead he heard him sigh.

“Maybe yes, maybe no. Some wounds are deeper than others, and some heal cleanly while others don’t, but as long as we are alive, time heals all.”

“Wise words from a wise King,” murmured Loki, leaning into the warmth of Thor’s shoulder. His eyes had begun to droop already, the adrenaline had long since left his system, leaving only exhaustion behind.

Thor grimaced. “You don’t have to call me that, brother. Besides, who is the wise advisor to the wise King?”

Loki snorted. “Who else if not I?” he said lightly, and that earned him a chuckle.

They both leaned into each other now, Loki resting his head against Thor’s broad shoulders and Thor propping his head against Loki’s.

“If we fall asleep like that, we’ll regret it terribly come morn,” Loki said lowly.

“Then scoot over and let us lie down,” replied Thor.

Loki groaned in response, but did as was bid. The last thing he remembered, before falling into a peaceful, dreamless sleep, was Thor’s soft snoring.