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Screams of agony, endless hatred, they ran deep in the earth. The soil, tainted with the miasmic blood of a thousand gods. Howls of vengeance, an endless cycle. In the air. The water… in him.
Xiao kept his eyes screwed shut, and inhaled deeply. He slowly counted to ten then back down to zero. He repeated the action once but paused before he could continue. There was something in the air that caught his attention. Something sweet. His eyes flickered open as it registered.
Ganyu…
"Good morning Verr Goldet!" Her voice was always soft. Even when irritated or angry, but even that was rare in and of itself.
Xiao shook his head in an attempt to block her out. He never intended to eavesdrop on their conversations, but Ganyu's presence almost demanded his attention.
"Yeah! There are a few new things that I have to take care of…Mhm, I'm actually looking forward to it!"
Sometimes aggressively so…
He sighed heavily and stood up from his perch on the roof. Removing himself from the area until she returned to the harbor was the simplest solution. It still irritated him that he couldn't properly ignore her. Her voice was so captivating, like the singing of chimes in the wind. He was drawn to her...
"Oh, no not yet actually. I don't mind though! I actually volunteered." She laughed softly and it was like the tinkling of small bells. "It gives me an excuse to leave the office and stretch my legs while technically still working." She hummed quietly and he could practically see her nodding her head. "Oh is…" she trailed off. "Ooh okay. No worries! Maybe next time then."
Not only did he find it difficult to block her out, but now he was actively listening to the conversation? Listening to her to be specific.
He scowled and jumped off the roof.
~°~
It was raining heavily when Xiao finally returned to the inn the next night. He squeezed the water from his sleeve before ducking inside. A pleasant warmth radiated throughout the building stemming from the kitchen and he quietly slipped in the room and took a seat by the stove. He couldn't catch a cold as his body was vastly different from any mortal. His body also ran colder than what would be considered normal anyway, but any additional chill was unpleasant to say the least.
Though the kitchen was closed for the night, Verr Goldet still fussed around at the front desk. She spoke quietly to herself, and occasionally shared a word with Wei, the cat that liked to watch over her. Though she wasn't a native to Liyue, she embodied the work ethic of her people as naturally as breathing.
Xiao inched a little closer to the fire until he could feel the embers taunting his face. The flames danced dangerously close, each pop from the fire a warning. One the adeptus chose to ignore. The elements in their purest forms were always oddly comforting, but like most things, even pure fire wasn't really pure . Corruption was absorbed through the plants and other bits of organic matter it consumes. In turn the air is then tainted by it's fumes, only to then infect the water and so forth. A never ending cycle. It was nigh impossible for one to truly be pure, whether man or beast. Though of all the beings that walk the land, only one could come close to such a feat.
"… Miss Ganyu left her clipboard here."
The sound of the half qilin's name caught his attention, and he tore his gaze away from the fire to peer up the steps.
Verr Goldet walked past the steps and placed the clipboard in a basket against the wall. "I'll send it tomorrow with the mail carrier." She looked around suddenly, "hmm…" she stepped forward and peered down the steps, her eyes widening when she made eye contact with him. "Oh! I thought I felt someone around here. Good evening. Do you need anything?"
Xiao held her gaze for a few moments before glancing at the basket. "She's going to come here herself to retrieve it as soon as she realizes it's gone." He crossed his arms. "If she hasn't already."
"I have no way to get it to her now. I'm hoping she doesn't realize it until morning or even better tomorrow night. If anything, we can meet her halfway so she doesn't have to walk so far."
"Hmm." He glanced over towards the entrance of the inn. The rain was still coming down heavily. Anyone else would wait until morning to make the trek all the way out here, and definitely not in the rain. But this was Ganyu… "I'll take it to her now." He offered quietly.
"Oh really? That's so nice of you." She picked up the clipboard and wrapped it in a cloth. "I hope this protects it some." She turned to look outside. "Are you sure you don't want to wait until the rain stops?"
He took the clipboard from her and moved towards the entrance. "I'm already wet. It doesn't matter either way." Without another word he phased into the night.
Within moments he was standing on top of the hill outside the harbor but he moved no further. The city was so dense that he couldn't pinpoint her exact location. There was also the issue of so many negative emotions and thoughts polluting the air. He scowled in disgust. How could mortals live in such a prosperous time and yet still ooze so much dark energy? How do you even stand to live here? He sighed heavily. It wasn't anything near what he was used to, but it still put him off. He also didn't like the idea of missing her while he tried to find her. Ugh, just move.
He quickly jumped to the top of one of the larger buildings and scanned the area carefully. He knew she worked for the Qixing, but which building it was exactly was beyond him. He jumped down and landed on top of a lamp post right behind a patrolling guard purposely letting his boots hit the wood loud enough to alert the man of his presence.
"Where does the Qixing's secretary work?" He asked in a low voice, not wanting to call more attention to himself than necessary.
The man jumped and spun around, brandishing his spear up at him. "Ah! Who are you?"
Xiao narrowed his eyes at him and huffed in annoyance. "Don't make me repeat myself, human."
The man's eyes widened and he stepped back. "O-Oh! Um right…" he looked around quickly before pointing to one of the buildings further up. "All the secretaries work in that building… uh during office h-hour—"
Xiao left before he finished.
He landed on top of the building, his eyes closed in concentration. If she was inside, then he would be able to hear her if she spoke. However, given that it was late and raining, the chances of her speaking aloud was lower than her actually being there. But he wanted to know exactly where. After a few moments he heard the familiar tone of the bell that sat under her collarbone. The pattern suggested she was running around. He dropped quietly to the window closest to the sound and opened it just as she pushed the curtains aside.
Her large violet eyes bugged out of her head and she let out a scream that sounded more like a squeak. She stumbled back and tripped on her own foot and fell on her butt. "O-Ow…"
Xiao remained crouching on the windowsill, his expression a mix of surprise and concern. The rain continued to pelt his back but he paid it no mind. He thought to ask her if she was alright but ended up just staring at her in silence.
"X-Xiao! What are you doing here?"she asked, bewildered. She scrambled to her feet and pushed locks of her hair back over her shoulder.
He blinked at her owlishly and cleared his throat, "I came here to—"
"Oh wait, get in here," she grabbed his arm and dragged him in the room—much to his surprise— and pushed the window closed. "The rain was getting in." She turned to him and gasped, "Wait there, I'll be back!" She hurried out of the room, her heels echoing as she left.
He stood in the middle of the room, every muscle in his body tense. Just as he considered leaving the clipboard on what had to be her desk she swept back in the room with a towel and a tray of tea. She pushed the tea tray on the desk and turned to him with a smile.
"Here, please take this." She held the towel out to him, but when he just stared at it blankly she stepped forward and wrapped it around his shoulders. "Please, I don't want you to catch a cold."
He tensed further, "Ganyu… I can't ."
Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed with warmth. "O-Oh! You're right… I'm sorry." She stepped away from him quickly and clasped her hands together.
He pursed his lips, "You don't have to apologize. It's understandable to forget. I'm not normal." He didn't remove the towel from his shoulders, but he made no move up use it either. "Here." He held out the clipboard, much to his relief the papers attached looked to be in good shape.
She covered her mouth with a gasp, "I was looking everywhere for that!" She threw her arms around him and squeezed him tightly. "Thank you so much, Xiao!"
The sudden wave of warmth that washed over his body as soon as hers made contact with his sent a chill through him so intense he shook. His mind admonished him and demanded he push her away. She was far too pure to be so close to him. Coming to the inn as often as she did was arguable, but touching him? Definitely not. Despite that, something stirred deep within him. An intense feeling that burned wounds in his being that he thought were long scarred over.
Words were lost on him. His hand balled up in a tight fist if only to keep from grabbing her. The faint smell of Qingxin flowers that filled the room was now strong and in his face. It muddied his head as it mixed with her own natural scent.
He dropped the clipboard on the floor.
The bang that rang out startled her, and she yelped as she tore away from him. As quickly as it had happened it ended, leaving behind an emptiness that was hard to ignore.
"Oh dear," she bent down to pick it up and inspected it briefly before putting it on her desk. "Thank you again, I hope you can forgive my boldness." She bowed her head in apology.
He shifted towards the window, "Think nothing of it."
"Oh, wait, please stay a little." She gestured to the tea tray. "I brought some tea…" she trailed off and trained her gaze on the floor. "... and um some sweets…"
Absolutely not.
She stepped towards him, "At least wait until the rain stops…" she tilted her head and moved forward so she stood in his line of sight. "Please, Xiao?"
He sighed and stepped further into the room in silent acquiescence.
She beamed brightly and grabbed the tray from her desk and brought it over to him.
Her bright expression struck something in him that momentarily stunned him. Why would she look at him like that?
She knelt on the floor and set the tray down carefully. "It's qingxin and mint tea, I hope you like it." She looked up at him expectantly, her eyes warm and welcoming.
Briefly he wondered if she knew how disarming her smile was. Before he could think better of it he sat on the floor across from her and accepted the cup from her waiting hands. The heat from the cup instantly warmed his gloved hands. Not caring about the heat, he downed almost half of the contents at once. The sudden burn that rushed through him brought goosebumps up his arms. He screwed his eyes shut as the burning pooled in his stomach. It left an oddly comforting buzz throughout his body.
He could feel her watching him and he met her gaze silently with heavy lidded eyes.
She was the first to blink, "Are you alright?" If her expression wasn't enough, her voice left no doubt of her concern.
"Mhm."
She eyed him warily for a moment before giggling quietly. "I take it you like it then?"
He nodded once, his eyes locked on her face.
Pink flushed slowly through her cheeks. He found it oddly alluring the way the color bloomed across her face, flowing from her cheeks and slowly bleeding to her ears, stopping in a delicate gradient at her neck.
She tore her eyes away from his and bowed her head to take a small sip from her own cup. "Um… Aha, if you would have gotten here just a few minutes earlier then you would have seen me running around like a headless chicken." She sighed softly, "I can't believe I forgot it at the inn."
He wasn't sure if she was trying to make a joke at her own expense, but he didn't find it funny. "Don't be so hard on yourself." He frowned, irritation building up in the pit of his stomach as images of her running herself to exhaustion came to mind. He found her more than once passed out somewhere around the inn. Always at the same time, but the range of places he or a customer found her told him that it wasn't on purpose. "You have enough on your plate already. There should be no reason for you to play messenger girl."
She waved him off, "No it's okay. I don't mind. It kind of works out for me anyway. My schedule is pretty full, but I still get a day off."
His brows furrowed, faintly he was aware that it might look like he was scowling at her but he was too irritated to try and change his face. "What do you mean? You've overworked yourself so much over the millennia that your body literally forces you to sleep on the spot. Besides, I know you never use your day off to rest."
Her lip stuck out in a pout, "It's my daily nap… it's not um…" she shook her head, her loose waves stirring the scent of qingxin in the air. "I don't—"
"It's become involuntarily." He snapped.
She recoiled at his tone and looked away, "I'm not bothered by it." She whispered.
Xiao pursed his lips, "Ganyu, you're not meant to do everything yourself." He set the cup in his hands aside, too agitated to trust himself not to crush it. "These people take advantage of you. I know how desperate they are for you to come back wherever we meet once a month to train. They are selfish and lazy."
"That's not true. We each do our part. The people of Liyue work very hard. Besides, my tasks are nothing compared to the sacrifices that Rex Lapis has done, or even y—"
"You know I don't mean everyone. Besides, you can't compare yourself to Rex Lapis, or anyone else for that matter." He crossed his arms tightly over his chest. "You have mortal blood, Ganyu. You cannot ignore the possibility that you are as limited as they are."
Hurt flashed through her eyes, "What? I thought you said… I-I thought I was improving."
"Tch, you cannot improve if you so willingly stunt your own growth." Guilt started to settle in his stomach and he looked away. "Find someone else to deliver things for the Qixing. You are their secretary, not their slave." He stood up abruptly, a wave of nausea hitting him like a charging lawachurl. Tendrils of miasma slowly crept around his lungs, suffocating him. He'd let his guard down too much, his irritation had grown large enough to allow the corruption to sneak past his internal barrier. Carless idiot… "I'm leaving." He said stiffly, and yanked the towel off his shoulders.
Ganyu stood as well, her violet eyes a heavy concoction of hurt, shame and overwhelming concern that only spurred his guilt. "Xiao, wait… " she reached out to him. "Are you okay?"
He scowled and shrunk away from her, "I'm fine." He moved over to the window and yanked it open. The cold air sent a mild shock through his body, allowing him to calm his mind a little. Just behind him he heard her speak again, her voice was very soft and it bled with sadness.
"I'm sorry…"
He froze, his grip on the windowsill enough to make it creak under the pressure. "No, don't apologize." He glanced over his shoulder. Her expression only increased the guilt burning in him. The dark miasma seized it and twisted it deep in his heart, like a stake in the ground. The sudden wave of pain made his knees buckle and he fell to the floor. He pushed his body to a kneel but couldn't pull himself any higher.
Ganyu gasped and knelt beside him. "Oh no, are you okay?" She reached out to him.
He shook his head, "Don't."
Her hands stopped a few inches from his body. "But you look—"
"I didn't…" he tried to take a deep breath to calm himself but her proximity only made him light headed. "I didn't come here to lecture you." He said through gritted teeth, his canines poked painfully into his bottom lip. "I'm sorry."
Dark coils were slowly wrapping around his mind, whispering their contempt, urging him to act. His vision started to darken.
"Xiao!" Warm hands were suddenly holding his face.
He recoiled instinctively.
She squeezed his face slightly, "look at me."
His eyes snapped open to meet hers.
She removed her gloves before grabbing his face again. "Deep breaths…you'll be okay."
He screwed his eyes shut again, Her touch was warm and sent a chill down his spine.
"Come on, Xiao… look at me please." She pressed small circles into his skin with her thumbs.
He sighed quietly and looked at her hesitantly. His vision was still blurry and dark at the edges, and he could hear voices in the back of his head urging for blood, but her face sat delicately in the center of all the ugliness. It grounded him slightly, but also filled him with unease. He didn't want to accidentally hurt her.
"Now deep breath, it's okay… I'll do it with you." She took a breath herself in an attempt to encourage him.
He frowned deeply. It was bad enough she was touching him, especially in this state. But to breathe the same air as him? Out of the question. He turned his face away and moved to stand.
Ganyu huffed and pressed her palm on his chest and pushed him down. Before he could get up she climbed on top of him and grabbed his face again. "Xiao! Let me help you… please ."
The impact of his back hitting the floor was just hard enough to clear his mind a little. She shook his face and he reached up and grabbed her wrists tightly.
"Can you hear me?" Her eyes searched his urgently, "I want you to tell me if you can." She said, her voice clear and steady.
He stared at her with widened eyes and nodded. "Yeah…"
"Good. Now take a deep breath and hold it for five seconds then release it slowly," She tightened her grip on his face. "Okay?"
"O-Okay."
The first breath that he took was difficult, his lungs burned a cold and angry kind of burn that no flame could replicate. The second was easier, hidden behind the darkness was a faint sweetness that he tasted very rarely. It took him back to warmer nights filled with delicate spring blooms.
He wasn't sure how many times they repeated her instructions, but it wasn't long before the hateful whispers in the back of his head slowly faded. He instead focused on the steady beat of her pulse from her wrists fluttering beneath his fingers, like a mouse trapped within an eagle's talon. He closed his eyes again, but this time the shadows stayed away.
She leaned down and pressed her forehead against his and continued to guide him, her voice falling to a gentle whisper.
The next breath he took was clearer than he could remember, and he soon became acutely aware that she was straddling him. She was humming quietly, and massaging the nape of his neck, her touch sent short sparks through his body.
He opened his eyes slowly and looked up at her. "Ganyu?..." his voice came out softer than he thought it would.
She leaned back a little but didn't let him go. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm…" he swallowed thickly, "...better."
She smiled and sat up fully, raising her arms up to stretch a little. "I'm glad."
Xiao couldn't stop staring at her. Heat was creeping into his cheeks and pooling into his stomach, which was already warmer than the rest of him thanks to how long she'd been sitting on him.
"Thank you for letting me help you." she giggled, "well I guess 'letting' is a bit debatable, but I know I can't really make you do anything… so, thank you." She sighed quietly and bit her lip. "You know, I only volunteered to deliver everything for the inn because… um…" her face flushed, "I-I wanted an excuse to see you!"
His brows furrowed, partly due to her admission, and partly because of how nervous she was so suddenly. He glanced between her face and her legs a few times. He cleared his throat, "You see me once a month for training."
"Yes, but… we never really talk. You always left so quickly… Then I wasn't really able to catch you at the inn either…" she sighed softly and glanced to the side. "After a while I started to wonder if you didn't like my presence…or if maybe you thought I was a waste of your time."
"Trust me Ganyu, if I thought you were a waste of my time I wouldn't even bother to speak to you." He put his hands on her knees and glanced up at her. "Let alone come all the way to the city to return your clipboard of all things."
"Really?" She turned her gaze back to him and smiled brightly. "That's really nice to hear.. haha, and thank you again for that by the way. I need it to finish some paperwork tonight."
He nodded quietly and slowly slid his hands up to her thighs. "You might as well save it for tomorrow. It's already really late."
"Oh… I guess it's only fair that I follow your advice since you followed mine…"
"Mhm…" he started to squeeze her thighs, slowly increasing the pressure as the seconds ticked by.
That seemed to finally get her attention because she gasped and looked down at his hands before she scrambled off him, a slew of apologies flying out of her mouth. She was so quick in her movements that she almost stepped on him, which brought on more flustered apologies.
He laid there in silence while she steamed with embarrassment, a part of him larger than he wanted to admit missed the contact... the warmth. When she finally finished and settled with hanging her head, he jumped to his feet and moved over to the window. "I'm not mad, Ganyu." He turned his face away from her as heat bloomed in his cheeks again. "Forget about it, okay?"
She nodded her head vigorously and slouched forward a little.
He put his foot on the window sill but paused to look at her. His head was still comfortably silent, and his whole body felt slightly heavy. Almost as if he was sleepy. Which was odd because he never felt the need to actually sleep, at least not like mortals did. There was also a faint sweetness on his tongue …
Ganyu stared at him quizzically and stepped closer, "Is everything alright? Do you feel something else wrong?"
"If you want to…" he looked around the room and sighed quietly. His heart was beating harder than normal. Even in combat he never had a problem… so why now?
She stepped closer to him, "If I want to?"
He gripped the window sill tightly. "If you want to… erm, spend time with me…" he swallowed the lump in his throat, "...outside of training then you better be rested. Properly. I'll know if you're not. Then you could forget about whatever we might be doing."
Her cheeks were that lovely shade of pink again and she nodded enthusiastically. "Okay! I can do that."
He turned back to the window but didn't move. His heart was racing now, and it irritated him that no matter what he did he couldn't calm it. On top of that, every breath he took was just a little sweet. It was driving him up the wall.
"Is there something else?" She asked quietly, her voice tickled the back of his neck.
"What else is there?" he mumbled as a shiver crept up his spine.
She hummed quietly, "I'm not sure. You seem distracted."
He turned his head slowly and nearly bumped his nose with hers. "Thank you for helping me…it usually haunts me much longer when I'm on my own…" He wanted to tell her that she shouldn't do something like that again. It was just too dangerous. He was too dangerous… but he knew telling her now would most likely upset her, and he didn't want to get her upset again.
"You don't have to thank me, Xiao."
"... That's it then." He made no move to leave, his eyes stayed focused on hers.
"Okay," she smiled gently, "good night, Xiao…"
He parted his lips to respond but his words died in his throat as her tongue slid slowly over his lips. His breath hitched and he pulled his bottom lip in his mouth, there was that sweetness again… Something in the back of his mind snapped and he pressed his lips against hers almost desperately.
She gasped and tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling him away from the window with a single solid tug.
He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and bit it. She gasped again and he tentatively slipped his tongue in her mouth. The sharp intake of air that he took made him feel heavier. Her tongue pushed slow and firm against his, before boldly making its way to his mouth, occasionally passing gently over his sharpened canines and curving up against the roof of his mouth.
She tugged on his hair harder, her nails scraping his scalp every time she gathered more of it in her hands.
The sound that came out of him was somewhere between a growl and a moan and he barely registered how loud he got when she tugged him again. This time it was hard enough to break the kiss.
Her chest heaved heavily against his and she placed a kiss at the corner of his lips before peppering kisses along his jawline. She stopped right at his ear and pulled the lobe in her mouth before bitting it just hard enough to sting.
He groaned and buried his face in her neck and licked the skin right at her pulse before littering the area with red and purple kisses.
She filled the space between them with soft sighs and short gasps. After a particularly hard bite she yelped and the bell resting on her chest jostled, ringing twice.
Xiao froze when he heard the bell and he tore himself away from her as if he'd been burned. Before he could say anything, words were tumbling out of Ganyu's lips.
"W-Wait! I'm fine! I was just startled!" Her face was beet red and she reached out to him clumsily. "I'm sorry if—"
He shrunk away from her and she instantly retracted her hand, hurt flashing through her eyes. He turned his head away from her. "I-I shouldn't have… I-I… t-this is a mistake…"
"... What?"
"I have to go…" he mumbled, refusing to look at her as he moved back to the window.
She yanked him by the sleeve and he stumbled back. "Don't say that."
He tensed but didn't try to move. "Ganyu… I'm not safe to be around… I shouldn't be— we can't—"
"I don't care!" She moved over to him and stood in his view. He turned his head away from her but she grabbed his face and turned him back to her gently. "Don't say that… please…" her eyes filled with tears. "I can handle it. Wherever it is… I'm not weak. You know I'm not, so stop pushing me away…"
Hearing how broken she sounded pained him and the longer he stared at her the harder it was to think of something to say that he hadn't already. He sighed quietly and bowed his head down, leaning his head on her chest. His forehead hit the bell and it clinked almost mockingly.
She placed her palm on his back and rubbed small circles into his skin.
"I hear you…" he whispered after a few moments and stepped away again, his eyes downcast.
Ganyu reached for his hand and hooked her point finger around his. "Are you okay?"
He glanced at her before looking down at their hands. "I am…"
She swung their hands gently. "Are we?"
"Yes."
"Do you want to have tea with me this weekend?"
He sighed quietly and nodded. "I'd like that…"