Chapter Text
The boy sat there and thought about his life.
He thought of his father. He was never looked at by his father for more than a glance, despite his attempts. His father could not bear to look at him. Not after his wife passed. The boy could hardly call her his mother, he never knew her before she died. And when he would try to call his late mother, well, his mother, he just got yelled at and told not to speak of her.
He thought of his twin. His twin who he felt like he knew, but at the same time his twin knew nothing of him. Hell, he barely even saw him. He looked nothing like him, and they acted almost as though they were different species. He was loud and cheerful and obnoxious. The boy was just quiet, afraid, and saddened. His twin wanted nothing to do with him, but he understood that. Hell, if the boy was in his twin’s place, he wouldn’t want anything to do with himself either.
He thought of one of his older brothers, the musician. He thought of how his voice, which could often be heard singing softly to the tune of a guitar, screamed and yelled at him. And when the musician's voice wasn't screaming, it was threatening, angry, something to be feared. And when you were a musician with such a soft voice, it was easy to spread rumours. The boy didn't know that was the musician’s doing though. The musician broke his belongings and yelled and spoke in a way you would not expect from a brother.
He thought of his other older brother, the fighter. And Jesus Christ, could he fight well. It just hurt when the boy was on the receiving end of the shoves and the trips and the occasional slaps. The fighter egged on more fights with the other kids at school, but not against him, against the boy. The fighter had an unchanging tone in his voice, but that made it no less terrifying to the boy.
He thought of the family as a whole. The family he wasn't truly a part of. Sure they were related by blood, but the boy wasn't allowed at family meals. The boy wasn't allowed on the long walks. The boy wasn't held after yet another nightmare, which seemed to be an increasingly common situation. His nightmares were of his brothers, of what those people from school said, what they did to him, and the things they sent him and posted. Hell, the boy wasn’t even fed most days! His brothers, however, spent all the time that they could together, never allowing the boy near. His brothers were held and comforted after a nightmare, even if they happened once in a blue moon. The boy knew that they didn't love him. He knew they didn't want him. No one really did. Honestly they would be better off without him, the painful memory of a mother, a wife, now passed. It was his fault. They all told him. He killed her.
But every action has it's equal opposite reaction.
And maybe that was why he was in his room, standing on a small stool now, about to place his head in the loop of the knot he had tied, the other end attached to the ceiling fan. This would make it all go away. The whispers and stares and the hits and kicks and the posts and the comments and the destruction of his belongings - it would all be over. He would finally do one thing right. Maybe once he did this, he would finally get his first hug- no. After this there was no more.
Securely placing his neck through the loop of the knot, the boy kicked away his stool.
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Wilbur was pissed.
He was in the middle of a song, when he heard a crash from upstairs. Fucking of course it was from Tubbo's room. That fucking piece of shit. He already killed their mother, couldn't he at least be quiet as he played his songs?? Standing up, Wilbur decided that he should voice his thoughts to the boy himself, remind him of what he had been saying for years now.
Storming up the stairs, he came to the door of Tubbo's room, knocking first (what? He would at least knock before he screamed at the boy). When there was no answer, Wilbur decided he didn't have enough patience for this and slammed open the door.
Oh
Oh god
Fuck.
Why was Tubbo hanging by his neck from a rope??? Why was there a stool on it's side underneath him, almost like it had been… kicked away. Tubbo had kicked the stool away. Fuck.
Wilbur sprinted to the hanging boy and lifted him, as to get the weight of his light body off of his neck. He carried the boy to the floor and as his mind raced, his hands did the work for him, getting out his phone and calling 000. He only registered dialing the number when an operator asked him what the emergency was.
"It's my little brother, I found him hanging from a n**se in his room. I got him down, he's on the ground now, but he's unconscious and I don't know what to do."
"Okay, are you parents home?"
"Uhh, no my dad is at work right now, it's just me and one of my other brothers."
“What’s your name?”
“Uh, my name is Wilbur.”
“Okay wand what’s your address?”
“22 Stonecrop Road, (random town name ples idk what to put for this)”
“Alright, we’re sending an ambulance to your house right now. They should be there very soon. Can you please check if he has a pulse? And check if he's breathing?"
Wilbur felt his shaking hands come to rest against Tubbo's neck, where he should be able to feel a steady beating pulse. Wilbur's heart began to crack slightly when he couldn't find the pulse, but eventually felt a faint, fluttering rhythm.
"He's got a pulse, but it's very weak."
"Okay is he breathing?"
Wilbur checked. He- he wasn't breathing right. His breaths shouldn't be like that.
"I-i don't know i can't tell if he's breathing really light or not breathing at all."
"Ok can you hold your finger just under his nose? If he's breathing, you should be able to feel some of the air hit your finger."
“Yes, I did that but I can't tell, please help.”
“Alright, take a deep breath for me, Wilbur,” Wilbur did so. “Do you know CPR?”
“Uhhh, yes! Yes I do!”
“Okay I'm gonna get you to do 30 chest compressions and then check his breathing and pulse again, okay?”
“Uh okay okay I can do that.”
Just as Wilbur said that, his other brother burst into the room.
“Wilbur, what’s goin on? I heard crashin and talkin and I called out to yo-” he cut himself off as he finally took in the scene before him. “HEH?!?!? Wilbur, what’s going on???”
“Techno! I need you to text dad, tell him to meet us at the hospital! And could you wait in the front yard for the ambulance??”
“Okay okay, on it.” And with that, Techno rushed out of Wilbur’s sight, grabbing his phone from his pocket as he went.
Wilbur began chest compressions as the operator spoke again. “Okay, the ambulance should be here any second now, there was one patrolling nearby. Just keep doing those chest compressions for me.” Wilbur had no option but to oblige. As much shit as he gave his younger brother, he didn’t want for him to die. Especially like this.
After some amount of time passed (how long? He couldn’t tell. He knew it couldn’t have been very long though), Wilbur heard the ambulance pull up outside of his house, the sounds of urgent talking floating it’s way through the house. The paramedic’s entered the room, Techno behind them, and Wilbur moved away from the boy’s body. Techno immediately pulled his brother away and did something no one would ever believe if you told them; He pulled his brother into a hug. In his brother’s arms, Wilbur’s dams began to crack and salty droplets ran down his cheeks.
The paramedics soon were rushing through the halls of the family home, carrying Tubbo on a stretcher as one of them attempted to keep the boy alive.
Wilbur took a deep breath before he spoke. “We should go with him in the ambulance.” They couldn’t just leave the boy- their brother alone. Not now. He needed someone with him that he knew.
“Yeah, yeah we should, yep.”
When the boys rushed downstairs, the paramedics informed them that only one of them could go in the ambulance, and the teens were torn.
Finally, Techno spoke. “You go with him in the ambulance, you found him. I’ll go get Tommy from soccer training. Go.”
Wilbur didn’t respond, opting to nod his head and get into the ambulance after Tubbo and the paramedics.
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The second the ambulance was out of sight, Techno got into his car. Sure, he was still in school, but he could drive. He pulled out of the driveway and down the street, not needing his GPS to know where he was going. Pulling up to the soccer field, he saw it full of happy young teens running around and kicking the ball. In the middle of it, he saw his youngest brother, his fluffy blond hair and loud voice making it easy to distinguish him from the others around his age. Getting out of the car, Techno walked over to the coach, who was supervising the game the boys were running. He said something to him along the lines of “need to grab Thomas” and “there’s been a family emergency”. The coach, thankfully, understood not to ask questions and just called out to the blond boy.
Jogging over to them, the loud teen wore a confused expression as he saw one of his older brothers standing with the coach. “What’s up, coach?”
“Hey Tommy, Techno is here to pick you up. I’m sure he can fill you in on more details in the car, but for now just grab your stuff.”
“What? But there’s still another half hour of training!”
“Tommy.”
That was Techno’s voice. But there was something else to it underneath the monotone. Tommy finally took a proper look at his brother, finally seeing how tense he was, how his hands shook slightly, how his eyes showed a glimpse of fear, of panic, of worry. Shit. So this must be serious.
“Alright, I’ll go grab my stuff. I’ll meet you at the car, Techno.”
Tommy grabbed his stuff together as fast as he could and jogged back to the car, finding that Techno had already gotten into the driver's seat. The blond slid into the passenger’s seat, dropping his stuff behind his seat, very confused and honestly? A little scared.
“What’s going on Tech? Why did you need to come get me?”
“Tommy, Tubbo’s at the hospital.”
Silence. And then the words processed in the loud boy's mind.
“WHAT?! Tubbo?! What- What’s happened?” Despite the fact that he rarely spoke to his twin, let alone know anything about him, Tommy felt a strong urge to be with him, to help him.
“I’ll explain more on the way, get your seatbelt on. Wilbur went with Tubbo in the ambulance and I already texted dad, he should be on his way there soon.” Techno said, visibly tense. And then, quieter, he added, “and maybe if I tell you while we’re driving I can keep my mind off of what’s really going on.”
Tommy clicked his seatbelt into place and techno pulled out onto the road once more, hands gripping the steering wheel in an attempt to ground himself and ready himself for what he was about to tell his younger brother.
“Techno, what happened to Tubbo?” Tommy asked, gentler this time.
Techno let out a sigh before he began to explain the situation. “Well, we were at home, I was in my room readin’, and I think Wilbur was playing his guitar downstairs. There was a thud, and then I think Wilbur went to go check it out, because it came from Tubbo’s room. The next thing I knew, I heard some talkin and it sounded a little panicked so I called out to Wilbur. When he didn’t respond, I decided to go check it out for myself. It-It turns out that Wilbur was on the phone with 911.” Tommy’s breath hitched slightly, knowing he was about to properly find out what had happened to his twin. Techno readjusted his grip and stared dead ahead, almost afraid to look elsewhere. “Tubbo had- he had- Tommy, Tubbo had tried to hang himself.”
That was it. The pin dropped. And good fucking god did Tommy wish he could just pick it up again. But he couldn’t. Because this had happened. His twin brother had attempted to kill himself.
“Oh,” was the only sound that Tommy could make, as the pair of them sat in silence.
After a minute or so of tense silence that both of them were somewhat okay with, a question began to burn in Tommy’s mind. “Techno, is- is Tubbo okay? Is he gonna be okay?”
Techno closed his eyes for a second before opening them and refocusing on the road. “I’m gonna be honest with you Tommy, I don’t know. It was pretty bad. The paramedics were doing CPR on him in the ambulance still. We’re nearly there, Wilbur can do some more of the explaining once we get to him. He knows more than I do after all.”
Tommy and techno sat in silence and Tommy couldn't help but wish he had spent more time getting to know his twin.
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Philza Minecraft was beyond worried. He had just received a text from his second eldest son.
Technoblade: Dad, something’s happened, there’s an ambulance on its way here. Meet us at the hospital.
As much as he hated how vague the text was, he understood that Techno was probably panicked at the time and just typed what he could. That didn’t mean he liked how vague it was any more. What had happened? Who was hurt? Were they safe right now? Why did there need to be an ambulance? Who hurt his boys? Was Wilbur ok? Was Techno ok? Was Tommy ok?
The father never noticed that he didn’t ask himself if his other son was ok. And it just so happened his other son was the furthest thing from ok right now.
Phil quickly grabbed his stuff, rushed to his boss’s office and rushed through an explanation.
“Hello Mr. Jones, I need to go now, there’s been a family emergency and I have just received a text from one of my boys that they’re going to the hospital. I know that the day isn’t over but the text was really vague and I just need to be with my boys and-”
“Phil,” his boss cut him off before he could continue his panicked rambling. “It’s ok, I understand, you can go see your boys and make sure they are ok. Just let me know if you need some time off work. You’re the hardest worker here, you deserve a break, especially for your family.”
Phil let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and looked at his boss gratefully. “Thank you,” he said softly before nearly sprinting out of the building and to his car. He needs to see his boys.
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Wilbur, decidedly, hated hospitals. But that was normal of him. He hated them so much more right now. He especially hated hospitals when one of his younger brother’s was dying, the doctors and nurses rushing to keep him alive and get him to a stable condition, and he wasn’t allowed to see him. He just stood pacing through the waiting area, a million thoughts running through his head. What drove Tubbo to do this? Had he been planning it? If so, for how long? Was this their fault? Was it the years of relentless bullying and breaking his stuff and starting rumours? How long had Tubbo been feeling like this? Why didn’t he ever speak up??? Was Tubbo even going to be alive by tomorrow????? What if-
“Wilby!!!!”
Wilbur was harshly yanked out of his thoughts by the voice of his youngest brother, who was rushing into the room, Technoblade on his heels.
Letting out a breath, Wilbur greeted his siblings. “Hey Toms, hey Tech.”
“Wilbur, where's Tubbo?!” Tommy spoke loudly, as per usual, and Wilbur found himself fighting to hide a cringe.
“Wilbur, is Tubbo okay?” Techno spoke this time, his deep monotone voice contrasting the blond boy’s so much, no one would believe they were related just by hearing them.
Wilbur simply ran a shaky hand through his hair and took a deep breath, readying himself to explain what had happened since he got to the hospital. “I’m gonna be honest with you two, I don’t know if Tubbo’s okay. When we got here he was rushed down a corridor and I was told that I couldn't follow, so I’ve been waiting here ever since. That was about 7 minutes ago.”
“Fuck.” Tommy sure did seem to love swearing.
"All we can do is wait, Tommy. Techno do you know if dad's on his way?"
Techno had, in fact, had either not checked his phone since he sent the text, or didn't realize it was there because he was waiting for Wilbur to text him. Either way, when Techno checked, surely enough, he had a text from Phil.
Philza (Dad): omw
"Yeah he's on his way, he should be here soon-ish. I'll go wait outside by the entrance so that I can lead him in here." And with that, Techno quickly walked in the direction to the entryway, a man on a mission.
Wilbur and Tommy were left in the waiting area together to do just that; wait. The pair of them soon sat down, though neither could keep fully still; Tommy bouncing his leg up and down and Wilbur running his hands through his hair every 10 seconds.
"Wilby," Tommy began, in a small voice that you couldn't believe was him. "I'm- I'm scared."
Wilbur looked to his little brother, and immediately saw the fear in his eyes. Seeing his normally cheerful and carefree brother so afraid hit him like a truck, and Wilbur wasted no time in wrapping his arms around the blond, rubbing his hand up and down his back. "It's ok toms. I'm scared too. Trust me." He would've said 'it'll be ok'd but he couldn't bear to lie to his brother because he didn't know how this would end.
Soon enough Philza and Techno both came rushing inside, Phil taking the lead as his paternal instincts kicked in. "Wilbur! Tommy! Thank fuck you're ok." Almost immediately, Philza wrapped the pair in a hug, trying to protect them from harm's way. As soon as he released them, Philza looked to his eldest son, still unsure of what was going on. "Wilbur, what's going on? What's happened?"
Wilbur looked to his father, sadness and - was that guilt? - etched over his face. "Dad, it's Tubbo."
"What about him?"
"Well, I was downstairs playing my guitar when I heard a crash from upstairs. From Tubbo's room. So, given that it had already interrupted my song, I figured I may as well go check it out. When I opened the door I- Phil he- Tubbo-..." Wilbur trailed off, almost avoiding saying it.
"He what mate? Please Will."
Wilbur took a deep breath realizing that neither of his brothers were going to break the news. Wilbur was the one who knew the most about what had happened after all. "Dad, Tubbo- Tubbo tried to kill himself. He was hanging from a rope when I opened the door."
And there it was again. A pin dropped, and this time Phil was the one wishing he could pick it back up. Phil felt his heart crack as Will broke the news to him, and sank down into a chair.
"Is he- is he ok? Where is he?" As much as Philza had avoided his second youngest son, he was still his son. Despite all of the family meals Tubbo wasn't allowed to join and all of the parties and events he wasn't invited to, he still cared for him. He needed him to be ok.
"Dad, I don't really know. As soon as we got here the doctors and nurses rushed him down a corridor and I wasn't allowed to follow. We've been playing the waiting game ever since. I went with him in the ambulance while Techno went to get Tommy, and it didn't look good."
“Okay,” was the only word Phil could utter, his mind beginning to race as his body was no longer moving.
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SUMMARY OF CHAP 1
Tubbo feels really awful after everyone being shitty to him all his life and blames himself for his mum's death, so he tries to *unalive*. Wilbur finds him, and calls the ambulance, who take him away to the hospital. Techno goes and gets tommy from his soccer training, and texts Phil to meet them at the hospital. Techno tells tommy what happened, and then they all wait at the hospital. Phil also comes to the hospital, and the situation is explained in full, and the family is left to wait.
ty for reading!!