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“Hey, mutt.”
Nairobi halted. She started to turn back to Gandia, and Palermo knew what was about to happen. He had researched Gandia when they had first planned the heist years ago and knew the man had only gotten worse with time. No matter the risk to himself, Gandia wouldn’t let anyone get away. Much less Nairobi.
So Palermo lunged forward and grabbed her.
Gandia shot.
Blood splashed.
But the team had had their guns ready and within a fraction of a second he dropped to the floor.
“I fucking got you!”, Denver screamed at the dropping body, as the fire died out. He had been the one to shoot him right in the face.
Then, for a heartbeat everyone froze. Palermo and Nairobi laid on the floor next to each other, blood splattered across their faces.
Palermo’s scream, almost more angry than pained, broke the silence and Nairobi rolled over.
“Get first aid!”, Stockholm yelled and Denver sprinted off.
The two injured members were immediately crowded by their colleagues, doing their best to help. Helsinki dropped to his knees by their heads.
Nairobi smiled up at him.
“Is the fucker dead?”, she asked.
He nodded. “Yes.”
She chuckled. She didn’t look great, but she had looked worse. She turned her head to tiredly grin at Bogota.
Next to her Palermo tried to sit up.
“Stay down.”, Tokyo ordered, reaching for his head.
It fell back into a puddle of blood, which was slowly soaking Helsinki’s pants at his knee.
Palermo batted her hands away, pressing out a curse.
“Palermo.” Helsinki gently shushed him, cupping his cheeks to make him look up at him upside down. Palermo looked up at him, gasping for air, but frozen under the big gentle hands. “It’s okay, you’re alive. You’re alive.”
Palermo shifted his jaw, tears welling up in his eyes. His breath was fast and heavy with shock and pain.
“Let me check.” He removed his hand from the left side of his face. He shot Tokyo a look. Gandia’s bullet had ripped off Palermo’s ear and some skin with it, but seemed to have spared him worse.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.”
"Helsi.", Palermo pressed out.
"It's only the ear, it's not bad.", Helsinki promised.
“I can’t fucking hear!”, Palermo screamed at him. “Just nod fucking nod if I’m about to pass out with fucking brain damage.”
Helsinki shook his head. “No. Only ear.”
Palermo stared at his lips.
“Only ear.”, he said again.
“Just the ear? Shit.”, he croaked.
Denver finally handed Helsinki a gauze and he pressed down.
“I’m fine, I can live with an eye less, I can live with an ear less.”, Palermo said, determined, but slightly slurring his words. He pushed Helsinki’s hand away, held the gauze himself and pushed himself up.
“Palermo.”, Tokyo snapped.
“We already lost too much time on that bastard, I'm getting back to work. We have to-” Darkness clouded his vision and he felt himself losing balance. “Fuck.”
He felt Helsinki’s big hands catch him and gently guide him back to the ground.
“It’s okay, go to sleep. You will be fine. I will take care of you.”
Palermo woke with a pounding headache. A warm hand was on his cheek and he didn’t have the strength to bat it away.
“Palermo. How are you?”, Helsinki asked
“Shit.”, he groaned. “Give me more morphine, I have to go.”
“No, you need rest. Professor’s orderers.”
“The professor isn’t here. I’m here and I’m telling you to-”
“Don’t start that shit again.”, Nairobi said with annoyance, but without any bite behind it.
He turned to his right, away from Helsinki, expecting to see her there, but only looked at bookshelves.
Helsinki didn’t say anything thankfully, only cupped his jaw and gently guided his head to his other side, so Palermo could see Nairobi lying next to him.
“I will go tell the professor that you are awake.”, Helsinki said, running a hand over Palermo’s arm as he left.
It left Palermo staring right at Nairobi. They looked at each other for a long moment and the sincerity in her eyes made him clench his jaw.
“Thank you.”, she said.
Palermo nodded and tried to swallow the knot in his throat.
“I caused this mess, I had to fix it.”
“I didn’t know you had an heroic side.”, she chuckled.
“It’s not heroism, it’s... my conscience. Noone’s dying on my watch.”
She surveyed his face. “You would have blamed yourself if I had died.”
It hadn’t been a question, but he nodded. He might as well continue being honest now.
“I’m sorry about what I said. About you and Helsi. About love.”
“I’m sorry too.”, she said. “I don’t believe what I said. I know you can love, because you love him.”
Palermo just raised his brows with a shrug, not trusting his voice with that knot in his throat.
“Grow some balls, Palermo. You just risked your life for me, you can tell a man you love him.”
He took a long look at her. Death was so much simpler than love.
“He won’t hurt you.”, she promised. “Look at him. He’s a puppy.”
“I’m not worried about myself. Look at me. I’m a piece of shit. I turned into a horrible monster, who destroys everything he touches.” He sniffed wrinkling his nose, but wasn’t able to stop the tears from spilling. “I... god. I treated all of you like shit. All that boom boom ciao crap. I treated him like shit. Because you’re right: love takes courage. That I don’t have. Not anymore.” He took a breath and finally turned to look at her again. “Look, I may be a cowardly bastard and an asshole, but I’m a fucking good leader and I swear, I’ll die to get everyone out of here.”
Nairobi shook her head. “I’m not letting the last heist repeat itself.”
“It would be quite poetic, wouldn’t it?”, he smiled. He wouldn’t mind going out like Andrés.
Nairobi reached over and grabbed his hand. “Listen to me. Let go of Berlin. You think you need him, but you don’t. I’ve gotten to know both of you and, carino, while I know you can’t be, I’m glad for you that he died. You’re free to love, Palermo. Helsi and yourself.”
Palermo glared at her, his jaw tensing as the old pain rose.
“I loved him.”, he said, his voice heavy with grief. “You don’t-”
“Fine, for his sake then.” She squeezed his hand tightly. “Let him go. He’s dead, let him be dead gracefully, stop trying to force him into your life.”
Palermo felt the tears spilling out of his eyes and running into his hair and the gauze around his head.
“Carino.” She rubbed her thumb over his knuckles as he turned away, trying to hide a sob.
“Oh.”, Helsinki said. “Maybe-” He had wanted to suggest the Professor to talk to Palermo a little later, but the man already held out his hand for the radio. He took a deep breath and swallowed his tears. Helsinki helped him to sit up. He cleared his throat.
“Professor.”
“Palermo, how are you?”
“I’m fine. Just a scratch and a headache. With some more meds I can get back to work immediately.”
“No. We talked about this, Palermo, no morphine for you unless it’s absolutely necessary. With your history of drug abuse, we agreed that especially in this high stress situation-”
“Alright, alright.”
“Good. I need your honest answer, Palermo. What are you capable of?”
“I am capable of everything.”, he hissed.
“I’m not taking the plan from you. I just need to know. For everyone else’s safety and your own.”
He stuck out his chin.
“My left side is fucked. My eye is practically useless and so far my ear is completely deaf. My balance and aim are off, but otherwise I’m fine.”, he insisted.
“Alright.”, the professor said. “Rest a little. The plan is back on track.”
“Alright.”
Helsinki put the radio down to have both arms to hug Palermo. He consciously placed his head on Palermo’s good side.
“It’s okay.”, he promised quietly.
Palermo hid his face in his shoulder and the tears spilled again. He sobbed into Helsinki’s chest, until he couldn’t stand himself anymore. His thoughts were spiralling with the after effects of the shock, the stress of the situation, the fear of the professor taking his plan away, the weight of Nairobi’s words and a strange sort of relief he felt at realizing their truth. With all of that clouding his oh so reliable brain, he only had his heart to guide him.
He pulled back a little and cupped the other’s cheeks. He looked into his eyes, allowing him to see all the emotions through the tears.
“I love you.”, he said and carefully gave him a small smile.
Helsinki smiled back, but seemed a little hesitant. He looked down.
“No, Helsi, look at me! Look at me.”
He did.
“I know what this means.”, Palermo promised. “I know how heavy these words weigh. And I mean them. To their furthest extend, I mean them.”
Helsinki, who seemed close to tears himself, closed his eyes and pressed their foreheads together.
Palermo felt like he could breathe for the first time in days. With Helsinki’s hands on his cheek, face to face, feeling the other’s warmth radiating, the claustrophobic walls seemed to disappear. For a moment nothing existed but the two of them together.
He opened his eyes and found Helsinki looking at him. The big guy smiled and a wobbly smile crept onto his own face. He rubbed a thumb over Helsinki’s cheek.
“Do I have to push you two into everything?”, Nairobi asked, throwing her hands up.
They both turned to look at her.
She nodded at them with her brows raised high, annoyance on her face as she gestured for them to kiss.
“Nairobi…”, Helsinki said, with both a frown and a giggle
“Kindly fuck off.”, Palermo added, without any bite to it.
She held up her hands defensively.
“Alright, I’ll take a walk. Have your Disney moment.” She carefully slid off her makeshift gurney. Helsinki took a step back from Palermo, not quite letting go of him, but reaching out to help her. She waved him off and started walking. It couldn’t be comfortable, but she was clearly happy to be walking by herself again. She gave them a wave as she left the library.
The two of them turned back to each other. Helsinki gave him a small smile and Palermo replied it. The serbian’s eyes flickered to the other lips. But he didn’t move.
“I’ve been an ass.”, Palermo said. “I treated you like shit, because I’m a miserable asshole, who hurts everyone around him. But I’ll get you out of here, I promise.”
“I know.”, Helsinki said. “I knew from the beginning. Because I know you .”
Palermo took a long look at him, as he mustered up the courage for yet another promise of commitment.
“My name is Martin Berrote. I’m from Buenos Aires, but I’ve been living in Palermo, in Sicily.”
Helsinki’s eyes welled up with tears at the meaning of his words.
“I’m Mirko Dragic. I’m from Belgrad.”
Martin smiled at him, the corners of his mouth tensing as he swallowed his tears.
“I’d die for you.”, Martín said. He would, without a second of hesitation.
Mirko shook his head.
“No-one is dying. You didn’t let Nairobi die, I won’t let you die. We’re all getting out of here.”
Martín nodded, closing his eyes for a moment to stop the tears from spilling. He wanted to believe it.
Suddenly he felt Mirko’s beard against his chin, and his lips against his.
They hadn’t kissed before. He had felt Mirko’s lips on his neck, his chest and places they shouldn’t have touched in a house of god, but never against his own.
Like with everything Mirko was gentle.
With Andrès, Martín had never been able to hold back. Everything between them had been violent, he had always fought and pulled to get closer and closer, chasing the feeling between them.
To his own surprise Martín didn’t have to exercise any self restraint to reply Mirko’s kiss with the same gentleness. There was nothing to fight for, everything he could have ever wished for was right there between them.
They seperated. Helsinki gently wiped tears from Martin’s face that the other hadn’t even realized had spilled.
“I love you, Martín Berrotte.”
Martín let out a wet chuckle.
“And I love you, Mirko Dragic.”, he smiled.