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It was the weird middle ground time of the holiday season. Those few days between Christmas and New Year where gifts from the now past make their way into the future. Gifts of experiences with friends and family, gifts of love, physical gifts, and of course the promise of what’s to come. That promise of what’s to come sparked an idea into the mind of Sonny Carisi. Not Dominick Carisi, not ADA Carisi, but the more casual “Sonny” Carisi. The name he wanted everyone to call him his first day at the precinct, which didn’t seem to stick until Jesse. Jesse was the first one to make that name somehow even more special. Then along came Billie, who was the extra spark, the extra catalyst for change in his life with Amanda Rollins
Sonny was enamored with his little family. His little growing family. He knew he would never lose them, that this was forever. He just had to make it official first. Well, the first steps of making it official. They had the conversation already of him adopting the girls since he has been their dad for years. Since he had been their dad since birth. That conversation, along with many other promises, was enough confirmation that she was in as deeply as he was.
“Daddy!” the youngest Rollins shrieked out after he tapped his cookie dough-covered finger against her nose. Just then the oldest of Amanda’s girls launched a handful of flour at Carisi, causing the three of them to burst into a fit of laughter.
“Revenge? From Jesse? I am deeply hurt” stated Carisi, feigning shock and hurt, while Jesse continued to laugh even harder.
“Revenge!” Billie parroted as she continued to laugh, and throw a small bit of cookie dough at Sonny.
He watched the two of them work together. Put the cookie dough on the pan to bake. He couldn’t help but smile proudly at them. One of his favorite parts of his forever.
As the laughter began to subside, he placed the cookies into the oven to let them bake. “Now remember girls, after these are ready, we are going to frost them and make them extra special”
“I can do that!!” Both girls shrieked in unison
Several minutes of anxious anticipation later, anxious anticipation mostly on the girls’ part, Carisi pulled the cookies out of the oven sending a warm aroma throughout the apartment. The warmth enveloped the apartment like a fluffy blanket, like the perfectly worn pair of sweatpants, like the sunshine which so happened to perfectly mirror the intensity of the glow around Amanda since they started dating.
They began to decorate the cookies when the familiar sound of keys digging into the doorknob, then the inevitable twist of the doorknob, suddenly occurred. This familiar noise sparked a domino effect of equally inevitable consequences. Billie and Jesse both jumped down from their spot, with a little help from one Sonny Carisi, and ran straight into their mother’s warm embrace.
“It smells so good in here. You trying to make me fat, Carisi?” Amanda jokingly asked with a smirk
“Nah, just trying to make you happy”
“You already do that. Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow, and Forever”
Forever, that word holds so much weight. It was so rare to hear that word from Amanda. He always thought he was the world’s luckiest guy. To be the one who Amanda wants forever with? To be the only one who Amanda has ever actually pictured spending forever with? It made him feel butterflies. It made his heart do leaps and bounds. The pounding in his chest is surely audible to all those around him in the kitchen, and in every space, she also happens to occupy. He had dreamt of forever for… forever. He will forever picture his forever with her in it because he will only ever want her and just her.
Carisi grinned in response as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her close, and trailed kisses from the top of her head down to her jawline. He then proceeded to lift his hands and cup her face. He traced the outline of her face with his thumbs, and then pressed a soft kiss to her lips.
“What did I do to deserve such a greeting?” Amanda bemused with a soft smile, eyes glistening as she took in the sight of him admiring her.
“You” a kiss to the top of her head “Completed” another kiss to the bride of her nose “me” a kiss to the top of her nose “Amanda Rollins” a kiss to her soft, perfect lips. Causing a soft giggle to escape her lips as the girls groaned and yelled out “Gross!”
“How about you go get ready, dress in my favorite outfit of yours, while me and the girls finish with our desert?” he asked as she nodded gently and made her way to their bedroom.
He and the girls finished up the special cookies with their special message as Amanda got dressed for their night. She had a vague idea of what they were doing, but the way Carisi asked her to wear his favorite outfit of hers, it made her come to another conclusion. Amanda pulled out a different shade of lipstick, this one a dark burgundy. A dainty, skin-tight, black dress that fell just to her mid-thigh and accentuated her curves. She let her hair fall down her shoulders in loose curls, sprayed on his favorite of her perfume, and put on a pair of heels that she would probably regret later. She couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that tonight was going to be special. “Well, if tonight is going to be special, then I minus well look great too” she bemused to only herself
Carisi’s eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw her walk out of the bedroom, back towards the kitchen. His jaw-dropping, eyes widening, practically drooling over her. “Da….oh…Amanda” he stammered as he continued to take in her appearance while also trying to find an age-appropriate response. Especially with the small, innocent ears close by.
Amanda just smirked as she breezed past him; making sure he caught the scent of her perfume. “So… are we going to need a sitter tonight or?”
“No, we won’t need a sitter tonight. The girls are coming with us” A loud cheer came from the living room as this was said, causing a smile on both adults’ faces. “We need to get going or we are going to be late”
“Where are we going, Carisi?”
“That’s the whole point of the surprise, Rollins”
Later on, as they reached the precinct, Amanda tried to hide her very confused expression. However, she decided against questioning her boyfriend, who she kept ogling. Especially with his very different choice of wearing jeans, that just so happened to hug his rear end tightly. The casual but still fancy-dress shirt that she couldn’t wait to rip off of him later. She quickly ended her exploration of how little his jeans left to the imagination as the 4 of them walked into the squad room. The girls run to their aunt Liv, and Amanda becomes even more confused.
Carisi took in a deep breath as he stared into Amanda’s eyes. He brought her into the exact spot where they met. When they spoke their first words to each other. “It's Dominick, but please call me Sonny”
The room was beautifully decorated. Gold streamers, Christmas lights strung, balloons, and more. However, this was tame compared to the after-party that Liv, Kat, and Fin set up for them. Kat and Fin still being there, keeping an eye on it, while Liv went back to the squad room to keep an eye on the girls, and to also be there for the momentous occasion.
Amanda stared back with the same intensity as her Dominick “Sonny” Carisi was radiating. She smiled as he cleared his throat.
“Amanda, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since the non-wedding. Since the night my world was turned upside down, in the best way possible. I know we haven’t been in our relationship for very long, but after 7 years of you being my best friend, I decided I didn’t want to wait one more day” Carisi declared as they both started to get emotional, tears quickly filling in their eyes making them almost the exact shade of blue.
He bit his lip gently as he continued, “So, Amanda Rollins, I was hoping you would do me the honor of continuing to turn my life upside down for the better. To remain my partner, my equal, for the rest of my life. Because you make me a better person. You keep me honest, humble, focused, driven, and on top of that, you make me infinitely happy. You bring me so much joy, so much happiness, both you and the girls are the things I can not and do not want to live without.” He paused before continuing, squeezing her hand a little tighter,
“So, will you do me the honor…” he motioned for the girls to come to him, then motioned for them to open the box full of cookies. Each cookie spelled out “Will you marry me?”. He gently turned her around so she could see the cookies, then bent down on one knee “…and marry me, Amanda Rollins?” he finished as she let the waterworks easily flow.
She gasped with happiness after seeing the cookies, then left out another soft gasp as she turned around and saw his grandmother’s wedding ring. The very one Bella drunkenly mentioned to her, revealing the importance of the piece of jewelry and how much it meant to her brother. “Yes! Yes, a million times yes!” she practically shouted as he lifted her up, spun her in his strong and capable arms, and crashed his lips into hers. After a couple of moments, he put her down and slipped the ring onto her finger.
This time it was his turn to gasp and stare in awe. “It’s a perfect fit” he mused in astonishment and pure wonder. “As if it was always meant for you to wear” he continued as he marveled at the way the delicate ring sparkled under all the lights.
The way that the ring slipped effortlessly onto her finger. The way it matched her entire essence. It was even more of a confirmation that she was the one and only for him, not like he needed one, but the reminder still made him immensely happy.
“You’re telling me you didn’t find out my ring size and get the ring resized?”
“No, I honestly never even thought about it. The way the ring is now is exactly how it was worn by its previous owner.”
“That makes this even more special. I’m so thankful that we finally made it to this point. I… Before the night on the Hudson, I thought I had lost my chance forever. But tonight? Tonight is all I needed to push any uncertainty far from my thoughts.”
“Amanda, you would have never lost your chance, because you’re it for me. The few times I tried to move on? I knew then that they would never last because my entire being could only love one woman. That woman is you; it has always been you.” That last statement had so much added weight to it.
The bright blue sky was slowly slipping past as the red, orange, and purple hues started to wake up with great intensity. The twinkling of the lights seemed to intensity and their stares intensified. The silence was completely comfortable as a blanket of warmth fell around them.
After a few minutes passed, Carisi broke the silence with a small chuckle. “You ready to go to the next part of our night, Mrs. Carisi?” he grinned as she immediately lit up. He felt the overwhelming happiness at her getting excited being called by his last name.
“I’m ready for anything with you, Mr. Carisi,” she lifted herself up on her tiptoes as she kissed him gently. “I can’t wait to be your wife, to be Mrs. Carisi for the rest of my life,” she mumbled on his lips as he grinned on hers. Amanda Rollins, soon to be Amanda Carisi truly was ready for anything with him. Truly excited to finally be Amanda Carisi. The Rollins name got her through so much. She overcame so much with that last name, and she will never forget that, but she was also more than ready for a fresh start. To take on the Carisi last name. The last name of the man who helped her with so much of her growth, and continues to help her. Her light at the end of the tunnel. Her sunshine on a cloudy day. Being called Mrs. Carisi was a breath of fresh air for one Amanda Rollins.
The newly engaged couple, along with Liv and the girls made their way to the Hudson. The same spot where they first kissed, at someone else’s wedding nonetheless. Their fingers intertwined as they walked to their spot, even more beautiful than that fateful night. The orange sky taking over, the lights twinkling and the array of flowers tied to the poles. Sunflowers, daisies, lilacs, all Amanda’s favorite. Everything was so beautiful, perfect, elegant with a hint of modesty. They set out the “Will you marry me?” Christmas cookies that Sonny and her girls worked so hard on. She couldn’t help but let out a hearty laugh as she noticed the spaghetti and the cannolis on the table.
“Seriously, Carisi?” She joked while continuing to laugh
“What? I know cannolis are your favorite.” He smirked, laughing with her as Kat and Fin rolled their eyes.
“Look, I’m glad yall are in love and all, but some of us want to still be able to eat” Fin chided acting as if he was disgusted.
They all collectively started laughing at the comment. Each person in attendance meant so much to the couple, and they were forever grateful for the love, for the compassion, for the trust, and for the friendship. The world was a much better place because each existed. A little bit of sunlight in such a pitch-black world.
This was only the beginning of a lifetime of adventures, challenges, angst, love, and all-around memories… together. A united front that nobody could take away from. And it was… perfection.