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Jimmy stood in the hallway, trying to muster the energy to peel off his layers and enter the house proper. He was damp, and tired, and numb in ways that had nothing to do with the knife cold wind that had stolen the feeling from his fingertips. 

It was rotten timing that Shetland had its first fatal traffic accident of the year while he was in Fair Isle burying his mother. He was bitter at the victims, that they couldn’t drive more carefully while he sorted through his parents’ clutter. That Lerwick couldn’t last two days without him. That he hadn’t been able to sit beside his father on the long ferry ride. That the violence of burnt rubber and flesh meeting twisted metal had superimposed itself on his private grief, and he couldn’t untangle it from the ball of hurt and nausea pressing up on his lungs. 

That he had less than two hours before he needed to pick his dad up from the dock.

Jimmy was still slumped against his front door when Duncan’s head appeared in the entryway, peering in from the kitchen. 

“Jimmy,” he said, “why are you keeping that hat rack company? You should come inside properly. Maybe have a wee dram?” 

The concern in Duncan’s eyes nearly undid Jimmy entirely. He rubbed his face to master himself, and shook his head. “No time. I need to get upstairs and set up my room for my dad.”

Duncan squinted thoughtfully at him. “And where are you planning to sleep, exactly?” 

Jimmy looked around him, and when the answer didn’t emerge from the panelling he shrugged at Duncan. “Um. The settee for now?” 

He hadn’t planned that far. 

“It’s nearly midsummer Jimmy,” said Duncan as he walked into the hallway and pried Jimmy’s bag out of his hands. “You won’t get a lick of sleep out here.” 

Jimmy pulled off his scarf and followed Duncan into the kitchen, watched him place Jimmy’s bag carefully on the kitchen table.

Duncan settled against the back of the settee and hummed thoughtfully. “Isn't there an old air mattress tucked away somewhere? If we push Cassie’s bed about a bit, we should be able to squeeze it in her old room.” 

“Okay,” said Jimmy with a nod. He certainly didn’t have a better idea. “We’ll try that.”

They had to rotate Cassie’s old bed and push it all the way up against the wall to make everything fit, leaving no way to get in and out of it without stepping on the air mattress. 

Jimmy only had a hand pump, so they sat themselves on the floor, leaning against the wall taking turns blowing up the mattress. Duncan kept trying to make Jimmy laugh, exaggerating the effort of dragging the pump up and down, and slumping dramatically on the floor when it was Jimmy’s turn. 

The distraction was good, but Jimmy could barely muster up a smile for him. 

It was about half way done when Jimmy started to worry about the time. Duncan must have noticed him fidgeting, because he elbowed him in the side, saying, “Oh Jimmy, go get your dad. I got this under control. I’ll change the sheets on Cassie’s bed and everything while you’re gone too.”

Jimmy blinked at him. “Why are you changing the sheets on the bed?” 

“Well, you’ll be taking the bed,” Duncan said earnestly. 

Jimmy sighed. “Duncan, I’m not kicking you out of your bed.”

Duncan rolled his eyes back. “It’s your house, man. I’m sure I’ll survive on the floor for a while.” 

Jimmy shook his head. “No. It’s not right. And anyway, I dinnae trust that old mattress,” he protested. 

Duncan slowly put down the pump, stuck his hands on his hips, and glared at Jimmy. “Damn it Jimmy. It’s your house, you’re getting kicked out of your bed, you’ve got a fatal car accident to deal with, and your mam just died. Take the bloody bed, and stop arguing about it.”

Jimmy laughed a little and tilted his head up to stare at the ceiling. His eyes prickled. “Okay. Okay, sure,” he agreed. 

“Now go get your dad,” Duncan told him, shoving him gently. 

Jimmy woke up in the middle of the night to Duncan poking him. He struggled up onto his elbows. “What’s wrong?” he asked, blinking into the darkness. 

“Well, you were right about your damn air mattress,” Duncan replied, sounding very awake and very unimpressed. 

“Oh, it’s let some air out?” 

“No Jimmy, it has not ‘let some air out’, it’s let all its air out. I got a wee bit of plastic between me and the floor,” Duncan replied. 

Jimmy winced. “Ah. Well that’s a problem.” He rubbed his eyes. He was still too drowsy to think of a solution. 

Duncan was making rustling noises as he peeled himself out of his blankets. 

“All right, shove over,” said Duncan, looming over him. 

Jimmy squinted up at him. “What? You’re hopping in with me?”

Despite his confusion, he automatically peeled back his blanket and wriggled over, making room. Duncan slid into bed next to him. 

“Would you rather I went and slept in with your dad then?” Duncan asked, wiggling about as he settled into the blankets. 

A stripe of ice touched Jimmy’s ankle. 

“Oh jesus Duncan, is that your foot?” Jimmy asked him, abruptly awake. 

“Aye,” Duncan replied, continuing to worm his way into the bed, “because it’s not just hard down on the floor, it’s also bloody freezing.” 

“Well I don’t need a demonstration,” Jimmy complained. 

Jimmy pressed himself against the wall while Duncan continued to shift about getting comfortable. It was like lying next to a rotating bag of bones. 

“How many elbows have you got anyway?” Jimmy asked him. 

“Well this wouldnae be a problem if you gave me a little more room,” Duncan muttered. 

Jimmy sighed into the plasterboard. “We are two grown men in a single bed. There is no more room. Not unless you want me to grind my nose against the wall.”

Duncan finally stopped wriggling. 

They lay back to back, the warmth of Duncan’s torso seeping into Jimmy’s spine. It wasn’t comfortable exactly, but it was soothing in a way Jimmy had not expected. 

Better than lying in the darkness trying to remember the last time he’s called his mum. 

“We are going to go buy a real mattress first thing tomorrow,” Duncan said flatly. 

Jimmy winced. “They’re sending a road safety engineer in from Edinburgh to check out that intersection,” he told Duncan, “I’ll have to be in first thing to meet him.” 

“Well then we’re getting up at the crack to buy a mattress.” Duncan decided. “I’ll drop you off at the station after, and I’ll sort out the delivery.”

Jimmy nodded. “Okay.” 

Jimmy blew into his office at 8 59, slightly flustered from hurrying, but pleased with the presence of an additional mattress in his life. 

Tosh twitched an eyebrow at him from where she stood behind her desk. “Busy morning sir?” she asked. 

Jimmy sighed and tugged off his scarf. “Don’t ask.”

“Alright,” she said, raising his hands in surrender. She flopped down into her chair and turned on her computer, but kept glancing at him over the top of the monitor. 

Jimmy realised Sandy was also taking a conspicuously long time to sort through the pile of paperwork on his desk while he watched Jimmy out of the corner of his eyes. 

In the years since Fran’s death, he’d forgotten how scrutiny was a strange companion to grief. 

Electing to ignore them both, he was shrugging out of his jacket when Billy walked in with a man in a sharp suit at his heels. “Good morning all. This here is our road safety engineer sent fresh from Edinburgh,” said Billy gesturing behind him. “His name is Felix Crawford, and he reckons he’ll be here for maybe three days by the time he finishes his report.” 

Jimmy’s eyes immediately caught on Felix’s distinctive curved nose. 

It took a moment for recognition to set in.

It had been twenty years since Jimmy had seen him, maybe more. He was still a striking man; slender, with his dark eyes and sharp tilted cheekbones. Now he had crows feet and a shock of grey through his cow lick. His conspicuous pink tie and rainbow cufflinks told the story that it wasn’t just his face that remained startlingly unchanged. 

Felix had always been ready to meet the world with his chin up. 

They stood in the middle of the incident room blinking at each other. 

Felix tilted his head.

“Jimmy?” he asked, “Jimmy Perez?” 

Jimmy nodded. “Hello Felix.”

Neither moved to shake the other’s hand. 

Jimmy stuck his hands into his pockets. 

“You know each other then?” asked Sandy, not moving from his seat. His eyebrows were climbing with the tension in the room. 

“Aye,” Jimmy confirmed, “from when we were young lads living in Aberdeen.” 

Felix laughed and shook his head. There was a wry twinkle in his eyes. “I should’ve guessed I couldn’t come to Shetland without running into Jimmy Perez,” he said. 

His voice still had the softness Jimmy remembered. The lilt they had often argued about. 

Tosh was looking between them like she was following a tennis match. “Well it’s obviously quite a reunion.”

Jimmy nodded. “How about I go make us all a cuppa,” he said, and fled into the kitchenette. 

Jimmy took his time making the coffees. 

In a sense he was glad to see Felix. To know that he was smiling, that his shoulders were broad and confident, and his eyes still sharp and laughing at the world. Jimmy discovered he had been carrying a worry for Felix around for twenty years as it fell away and left a strange lightness in its wake. 

In another sense, he did not need any complications on top of the week he was having. 

Lerwick was a kind place, but it was very very small. He did not need all his neighbours finding out about his ex-boyfriend from his time in the Granite City. 

He scrubbed at his face as the kettle boiled, and nearly missed the sound of Sandy slipping into the kitchenette behind him. 

“He seems like a character,” Sandy said, leaning on the doorway. 

“Aye, he is,” Jimmy agreed.

He spooned coffee into four of the cups, and popped a teabag into the other. Felix had never liked the bitterness of espresso. 

“Did you really know him in Aberdeen?” Sandy asked. 

The kettled clicked. 

“I did,” Jimmy confirmed as he poured the water. 

He watched the teabag bob in the cup. 

Sandy stuck his head into the fridge and handed Jimmy the milk. “He doesnae seem much like your other friends,” he told Jimmy earnestly. 

There was the lilt of a question in his tone. 

Jimmy gritted his teeth. He picked up three of the mugs and held them out to Sandy. “That’s for you, Billy, and Tosh,” he said firmly. “I’ll be out with the rest when it’s ready.” 

Sandy nodded and disappeared with the coffees. 

Jimmy slumped back against the doorway and pressed his palms into his eyes. Bloody hell. 

He took stock of his life.

He had told his dad about Felix when he was nineteen, half way through an argument. He remembered standing in the middle of the apartment he shared with Felix letting it tumble out in the middle of a row. Turning his chin up and waiting for a reaction. Hoping for one. With luck, his dad remembered. 

Cassie had seen some old photographs from that time. Jimmy had explained who Felix was to her, and why he had nothing to do with his love for her mother. 

The only real problem was Duncan. 

The town gossip would view his continued presence at Jimmy’s differently if word about Felix got out. It wouldn’t be fair on Duncan to drop him in it with no warning. 

Jimmy pulled the teabag out of the tea and stared at its soggy form glumly. He was due for an awkward conversation, and it probably needed to happen that day. 

Jimmy tracked Duncan down at the bistro after he judged the lunch rush would be over. 

His worries must have been written across his face because Duncan took one look at him and slipped out from behind the bar. He pressed a takeaway cup into Jimmy’s hand and led him out to a narrow alley that smelt overwhelmingly of cigarettes and food scrap. 

“Sorry about the smell,” Duncan told him cheerfully, perching himself on a low brick wall that backed onto a hedge. “The cooks all come out here for a smoke.” 

Jimmy found a spot to sit on the wall beside him. 

He looked around. The area was secluded enough, boxed in by tall stone and brick walls. The door to the kitchen hung open, but the sounds of shouting and the radio on someone’s tinny bluetooth speaker spilled out of it. The ruckus left no chance for them to be overheard. 

“So what’s this about then,” asked Duncan.

Jimmy frowned down at the plastic lid of his cup. “Do you remember that I was meeting with a road safety officer today?” 

Duncan nodded earnestly. “Oh aye. How’d it go?” he asked. 

Jimmy shrugged. “Well as it turns out, I already knew him. From back when I was living in -” 

The kitchen door flew open and a young woman poked her head out.“Duncan,” she yelled, “have you seen the mop bucket?” 

“Ask Jeremy. I think I saw him with it earlier,” Duncan yelled back.

“Ta!” she said and disappeared back into the kitchen. 

Duncan winced apologetically at Jimmy. 

“You were telling me about this engineer of yours,” he prompted. 

Jimmy fidgeted with his cup. The interruption had not done wonders for his courage. 

“Aye. He and I were involved. Romantically, that is,” he explained. “Many many years ago. Before you and Fran split even.” 

Duncan’s eyebrows climbed up into his hairline. “He? Like what, a man?” he asked. 

Jimmy nodded. He opened his mouth to speak, but the kitchen door opened again with a bang. This time a man with spacers in his ears stepped out. 

He hurried over to them.

“We’re gonna havetae remake orders 63 and 58. Can you tell them there’s gonna be a wait?” he asked Duncan. 

Duncan waved him away. “I’ll get to it. Just give me a minute.” 

“Soon though aye?” the man called as he stomped back into the kitchen. 

Duncan sighed. “Ah, sorry Jimmy,” he said “it’s not usually this busy at this time of day. There must be a hold up in there.” 

“Do you need to go see to it?” 

Duncan shook his head. “It’ll keep,” he said. “You were telling me about this, uh, this man?”

Jimmy took a sip from the take away cup. The hot black coffee scalded his tongue. “He’s an ex. I’m just telling you because I’m concerned that it’ll get around that I’m bisexual, and people might go making assumption about you as well,” Jimmy explained. “Erm, because of our living situation.” 

“Ah well,” said Duncan frowning thoughtfully up at the sky. “I’m sure people have said much worse things about me over the years, and most of it deserved.” He caught Jimmy’s eye, and laughed ruefully. 

They bumped shoulders companionably. 

“And you’ll be okay, aye?” Duncan added, “I mean, Lerwick isn’t a metropolis, but I cannae imagine that -” 

The kitchen door slammed open again and a pimply teenager marched out. He came to stand at their feet, scowling, with his hands on his hips. “Duncan, they’re trying not to tell you but Laura was really hung over, and she tried to chuck up in the kitchen sink. It’s gone everywhere.” 

The smile melted off Duncan’s face. 

Jimmy stifled a laugh. 

Duncan stood up and clapped Jimmy on the shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he said, shaking his head, “I best get to dealing with this. I’ll talk to you later, aye.” 

Jimmy nodded, and watched Duncan and his serious young employee vanish into the bistro. He let out a long breath out from between his teeth. 

At least he wasn’t the only one having a long and complicated day. 

For the second time in two days, Jimmy woke up in the middle of the night to Duncan prodding him.

For a moment the hard edge of his week washed over him knocking his breath out of him, but it quickly faded leaving only bleary irritation in its wake. 

“Duncan, you cannae tell me that this mattress deflated too,” he said, staring up at the ceiling. 

“What?” said Duncan, “This one doesnae have any air in it.” 

Jimmy nodded into the darkness. “Aye,” he agreed, “so why am I awake?” 

Jimmy rubbed his eyes. There was no movement from the floor, but he could just about hear the wheels in Duncan’s head whirring. 

“I wanted to ask about your friend,” Ducan said eventually. 

Jimmy sighed. “Felix?” 

“Aye.”

Jimmy pushed himself up and leant against the bedhead. “He wasnae my friend Duncan. He was my boyfriend.” 

“Boyfriend,” Duncan said slowly, like he was measuring the word, “not someone you were just shagging. You were serious about him?” 

Jimmy let his head fall backwards against the plaster. He could already tell this was going to be an excruciating conversation. He had gotten off too easy at the bistro. 

He wondered if it was a bad time to wish for a house fire, because given the week he was having he didn’t want to tempt fate. 

“Serious enough, yeah,” he told Duncan. “We lived together. I even told my dad about him.” 

“Oh, that is serious,” said Duncan. “What happened?” 

“What do you mean, what happened?” Jimmy asked, rolling his eyes. 

“Well, you’re not together now.”

“We broke up. I was a young policeman in a big city, and Felix is… well, you know pretty much as soon as he opens his mouth that he doesnae like women. We used to argue about it,” Jimmy explained. “I should of let him be.”

It was quiet between them. 

Jimmy wriggled down back under his blankets. “I probably owe him an apology,” he admitted to the darkness. 

There was some rustling from the floor. 

“I’m surprised you were serious with another lad Jimmy,” Duncan said, “you’re not a man who likes to swim upstream.” 

“I’m bisexual Duncan, I dinnae know what you think that means.”

He picked up his second pillow and pulled it over his face. There was no place to hide in a two bedroom house when the other bedroom was occupied, but he hadn’t given muffling Duncan a try. 

“But you could just sleep with men. Only get serious with women. Wouldn’t that be easier?” 

Jimmy sat up and pegged his pillow at where he thought Duncan’s head might be. There was a satisfying grunt of surprise in response. 

“Duncan, stop obsessing over my love life and go to sleep,” Jimmy told him. He pulled the blankets up over his ears and rolled over to face the wall. 

It took Felix another week to wrap up his investigation. The whole station piled into a booth at the pub the night before they would be dropping him at the airport. 

Jimmy found himself with Billy and Sandy at his elbows looking across at Tosh and Felix. He was tense; so far Felix had left well enough alone, but the pub seemed like a convenient location for a public disaster. 

Felix was explaining his findings while he pored over the menu. “I’ll definitely be recommending a safety rail and some additional width on that road,” he was saying, “but you have to understand that I have nothing to do with the budget, so I cannae promise it’ll happen.”

Their drinks arrived. 

Jimmy reached for his beer. 

He watched across the table as Felix picked up his lemon lime and bitters, glanced down at the top of his cup, and wrinkled up his nose. 

Jimmy laughed in spite of himself. “They booby trapped it did they?” he asked Felix.

Their eyes met across the table, and Felix smiled ruefully. “I did ask them not to.”

“What? How’s it booby trapped?” asked Sandy. 

“It’s the ice,” Jimmy explained, “Felix cannae stand it when it touches his teeth.” 

He smiled at Felix. “How about I go get them to make you another one?”

Felix shook his head. “No Jimmy, it’s okay,” he said, brandishing a spoon, “I’ll just fish the ice out myself.” 

Tosh looked between them, doing something complicated with her eyebrows. “Wow. You were close then.”

Jimmy watched Felix chase an ice cube around his cup with his spoon, and tried to work out a diplomatic way to answer. 

Felix cut in. “Aye. We both lived in this awful block of flats. We must’ve been the only folk there who were under seventy years old, and the rest of the residents resented us for it. It was basically open warfare. Mrs McDonnel would complain to the landlord if you opened and closed your door too many times in a day,” he explained. 

Jimmy laughed. “Aye, I’d forgotten about her.” 

Felix nodded sagely. “She’d have our guts for garters. We had to stick together to survive,” he explained. 

He winked across the table at Jimmy. 

Jimmy felt a knot in his shoulders come loose. 

“All of that just because you used your front door?” Tosh asked, mouth hanging open. 

Jimmy leant across the table conspiratorially. “Oh Tosh, you should have seen what happened if you turned on your wireless.” 

“Now that just sounds like you were courting trouble,” said Billy, folding his arms and obviously trying not to laugh.

Jimmy looked down at the foam on his beer and smiled. 

Jimmy found Felix in a quiet corner half an hour later, and pressed a drink into his hand. 

Felix looked into the top of the glass. “No ice? I’m a lucky man.”

“Well they’re not about to get my order wrong. They know I’m the town plod,” Jimmy replied.

“Ah, you’ll shake them down for me then?” 

They both laughed. 

Jimmy claimed a spot where he could lean against the wall next to Felix. “Thanks,” he told Felix, “for, you know…” 

Felix shrugged. “You don’t owe anyone your business.”

“I know,” Jimmy told him. “But you could have made things complicated for me, and you didn’t. And I didnae treat you very well back then.” 

Felix tilted his head. “No,” he agreed, “you didn’t. But we were very young, and the world can be a shitty place. It made things difficult that maybe didnae need to be.” 

“It still does,” he told Felix. 

Felix laughed and smiled thoughtfully down into his drink. “You were never one who took risks unless you’d measured them from every angle, and I didnae fit well with that.” 

“You’re the second person to tell me I’m no good at risk this week,” Jimmy complained, wincing.

Felix’s eyebrows climbed all the way into his hairline. “Oh dear, Jimmy, ” he said with obvious amusement. “Maybe it’s time to step out a bit, aye.” 

Jimmy groaned, and laughed, and let the noise of the bar wash over them.

In the weeks after Felix left the teeth rattling pace of the days around his mother’s death gave way to the steady chaos of ordinary life. Jimmy still felt as if someone had taken an icecream scoop to his insides, but the sharp edge of panic he hadn’t realised he was carrying around faded into steady grief. 

Perhaps he was on the mend. 

Although not so much on the mend that he was ready to make a decision about what to do with his dad, and Duncan, and his little home. 

Duncan hadn’t complained about their sleeping arrangements once since that first night. He didn’t prod Jimmy about his obvious decision paralysis, and kept quietly stocking the fridge with stews from the bistro that were quick to reheat and easy for an old man to eat. Jimmy clung to the idea that there was another adult greasing the wheels of his life. 

Their busy work schedules meant he usually only saw Duncan when tried not to step on him late at night on his way to bed, but every sign of him in the house made Jimmy’s chest warm. 

On a rare evening when Jimmy, and his dad, and Duncan all made it to the dinner table at the same time, Cassie rang.

“Hi love,” he said, switching to speakerphone. 

“Hi Dad!” she said cheerfully. 

Duncan leaned over and plucked the phone out of Jimmy’s hand. “Cassie!” he said with a broad smile, “I’ll get facetime working.” 

“You got me, and Duncan, and your grandfather,” Jimmy explained, shuffling his chair towards Duncan so Cassie could hear him.

Duncan was still poking around on Jimmy’s phone.

“Hello Cassie, it’s your grandad,” said James, waving at the back of Jimmy’s phone. 

“Ah ha! All sorted out!” said Duncan triumphantly, brandishing Jimmy’s phone at the table so they could all see the screen. 

Cassie’s face smiled out at them. 

“Dad, can you stop waving the phone around so much? I cannae see anyone,” she said with a laugh. 

Jimmy snatched his phone back from Duncan and smiled down at Cassie. “You look well.”

“Uh huh,” she replied, her eyes twinkling. “You got everyone there. Must be cosy.” 

“It’s very nice,” said James, waving at the back of the phone again.

“Oh aye. A bit too cosy sometimes,” Jimmy told her. 

Duncan snorted. 

Cassie laughed. “Is it okay if I come for a few days and make it cosier? Just for midsummer?” 

Duncan got up from his chair with a clatter, and came to hover over Jimmy’s shoulder.

Jimmy tried to tilt the phone so she could see them both. 

“You’re coming to visit, Cass?” Duncan asked, pleased. 

“Aye. I’ve been invited to a midsummer party, and I thought ‘why not?’” she explained. 

“We’d love that,” said Duncan. 

“What would we love?” asked James from the other end of the table.

“Cassie’s coming,” Duncan called out to him. 

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” said James, waving at the back of the phone again. 

“It is,” agreed Jimmy, “but it will be a tight fit. You might have to sleep on a mattress. Is that okay love?” 

Cassie rolled her eyes at him. “Of course it’s fine.”

“Whose sleeping on a mattress?” asked James. “You’ll have to speak up. I cannae hear you.” 

“Cassie. Maybe,” Jimmy told him. 

Duncan waved at Cassie, smiling. “Your grandad cannae hear you very well.”

Cassie laughed. “Why don’t I talk to Pa then?” she suggested. 

“Okay,” Jimmy agreed. 

Duncan took the phone and handed it to James. “Love you Cass,” he called out as the phone moved away from him.

James put the phone up to his ear and wandered out into the hallway. 

Jimmy could feel Duncan twitching next to him. 

“They’ll sort it out, Duncan,” Jimmy told him.

“It’s on facetime,” Duncan said, eyes wide and amused. 

“Aye, well, Cassie’ll get a good look at her grandad’s left ear,” Jimmy said, “we got more pressing problems than that.” 

“What problems?” Duncan asked, still frowning at the doorway James had disappeared through. 

Jimmy put his head in his hands. “There’s no room at the inn.” 

“Aye, it’ll be a wee bit cramped,” Duncan agreed. 

“Where is she meant to sleep?” Jimmy asked, “There’s not space for another mattress in her old room, and I dinnae want to put anyone in with dad. He gets confused in the evenings.” 

Duncan leant back to his chair, and chewed thoughtfully on a bite of his dinner. “Ah Jimmy, it’ll be fine. Cass can take the mattress and we’ll share the bed for a couple of days,” he suggested confidently. 

Jimmy put down his fork and stared at Duncan. “Aye? You want to share the single again? Because that worked out so well the first time.”

Duncan shifted a little in his seat. “Well, it wasnae so bad,” he protested. 

Jimmy buried his face in his hands. “It’s not big enough for two grown men.”

“Have you got a better plan then?” Duncan asked through a mouthful.

Jimmy sighed to the ceiling. “No,” he admitted, “I don’t.” 

The first night Cassie was there, Jimmy lay with his nose brushing against the plasterboard feeling Duncan’s spine catch against his own. 

It was nice. 

Jimmy did not want it to be nice. 

There were probably worse times to realise you had feelings for someone than on the first of two nights sharing a single bed, but right then Jimmy couldn’t think of any. 

He tried to ignore the shifting muscles he could feel in Duncan’s back. The occasional rhythmic thump of his heart. The way skin heat pooled between them. 

He pulled his pillow over his head. 

The night dragged on, warm, and comfortable, and terribly sweet. 

On the second night Cassie was out at her party, and Duncan fell immediately asleep. He threw a leg over Jimmy in the middle of the night, and burrowed drowsily into Jimmy’s shoulder.

His hair tickled Jimmy’s nose.

Jimmy contemplated waking him up. 

Instead, he lay very still and stared at the ceiling. 

They were both quiet as they changed the sheets after dropping Cassie back off at the airport. Jimmy missed her badly, as he always did right after she left.

Perhaps more than usual, this time. 

Duncan seemed lost in his own thoughts. 

When Jimmy slipped into the bed, he wriggled all the way over out of habit. He sighed into the wall when he realised what he’d done. 

A moment later he felt a dip in the mattress as Duncan slipped in behind him. 

Jimmy rolled onto his back and frowned up at the ceiling. “There’s a whole mattress for you down there now, you know?” 

Duncan squirmed about until he was on his back too. They were pressed together from their shoulders to their ankles. 

“Aye,” Duncan agreed, “but the bed is much more comfortable.”

Jimmy sighed. “You want to swap?”

“Don’t be daft,” said Duncan, “we may as well both have the bed.” 

Jimmy pressed his hands into his eyes. “A man could get the wrong idea about your intentions, Duncan.”

Duncan chuckled. “No, it sounds like you’re getting the right idea.”

Jimmy stared up at the ceiling. His heart rattled around in his chest. He breathed carefully through his nose before he replied “Okay,” he murmured. “I didnae think you did that with men.” 

He felt Duncan shrug. “Well I never had a relationship with a man, but I’ve shagged plenty,” Duncan explained breezily. 

Jimmy closed his eyes.

Blew out a breath. 

He’d spent the last two days trying not to watch the long lines of Duncan’s body. 

“It’s probably not a good idea for us to do anything like that. We live together,” he told Duncan slowly. 

He was surprised at how level he sounded. Was too much self-control bad for a man? 

Duncan scoffed. “I’m not suggesting a one night stand.” 

“Then what are you suggesting?” 

There was a flurry of movement as Duncan rolled to face him. “Well, I dinnae know Jimmy,” he said, “Do you need a three stage plan signed in triplicate with accessible goals and an OHS contract? Shall I do you up some bullet points?” 

Jimmy ground his teeth. “No. But I would like to know if we’re on the same page.”

The bed wobbled as Duncan threw out his hands. “I got no bloody idea what page I’m on,” Duncan exclaimed. “This is uncharted waters for me. Have you got the first clue what’s happening here, then?” 

Jimmy rolled over and turned his face back to the wall. “No. Not really,” he replied through gritted teeth. 

To hell with Felix and Duncan’s opinions. His self-control was absolutely fine as it was. 

They lay still, and the only sound in the house was the wind rattling the windows. 

The warmest part of the bed was still the centre, where Duncan’s arm brushed against Jimmy’s spine. 

Duncan sighed, and he went still. “Okay, do you want me to go back to the mattress?” 

Jimmy glared at the plasterboard, and clenched his fists. 

He could feel Duncan’s sharp shoulder blade digging into his back. Duncan’s foot was flexing against his ankle. 

He leant his forehead against the wall.

‘Risk averse’ was just a nice way of saying ‘cowardly’. 

“No,” Jimmy admitted. 

He could feel and hear Duncan chewing on his fingernail. He refused to find it endearing. 

Eventually Duncan prodded his neck. “It’s not just about sex for me, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Jimmy pushed himself up on his elbows and glared down at Duncan, or the patch of darkness Duncan occupied. “See. Now that was a lot less complicated than a bloody OHS contract!”

Duncan wriggled up to sit beside him. Lay an ankle across Jimmy’s foot with deliberate slowness. “Ah Jimmy, you’re right. That wasnae fair,” he admitted. 

“No, it wasn’t.”

The tail of the argument sat leaden in the night between them. 

They both started to laugh, their shoulders knocking together. 

Jimmy shook his head. “This whole situation is ridiculous, Duncan,” he said, still smiling. 

Duncan leant across and lay his head on Jimmy’s shoulder. 

Chuckling to himself quietly, Duncan said, “Aye, well, all the best things in life are.”

“And you know that I’m, well, I’m not in the best state right now,” Jimmy told him. 

“Aye, I got that too,” Duncan agreed, his voice soft with sympathy. “And if we’re doing a confessional, you should know I don’t have a clue what I’m gonna tell the whole of Shetland about this when they get curious.”

Jimmy groaned. “No. We’re not thinking about that tonight. Maybe next year. Next decade even.”

He could feel Duncan’s laughter all the way along his side. 

Luckily for Jimmy, Duncan had never thought twice about something in his life, so he waited for Duncan to make a move. Felt Duncan’s hand sliding up his arm and cupping his face. 

Then Jimmy leant in and closed the distance between them.