Work Text:
The palace was busy, as palaces are
Filled with people from places both near and far.
Nobles and courtiers flooded the court
But Prince Kamat had but one close consort!
Shaun the Fair was a man tall and wide
Known for his boldness, his breadth, and his pride
His wit was not favored, by the gods of the Prince or his own
And there were few times it was not rightly shown.
Whan then, made the vizier so fair you ask?
Are not viziers humble and meek and quick to their task?
They are-- in most cases, but the Prince's ear must be won!
And in the virtues the Prince treasured most, there were second to none.
For Shaun the Fair was called rightly so
He had hair as red as beets and a complexion of snow.
These were not the only traits the Prince so admired:
He was kind and he was humble-- with an honesty that never tired.
But Good Shaun had a problem, the Good Prince soon would find
Sweet Shaun the Fair could not leave some old habits behind
He had never had fellrunner, coffee, or even gazelle
But instead got by on hash, beef, and ale!
But our sweet Prince Kamat was patient and kind
And of this infidel's habits, he truly did not mind
He had long locks of red, which he took care to braid
But come Lordas each week, no soap found his hair
Prince Kamat was close with his vizier, you see
They shared his room, they shared his bed, they shared everything even when the prince wed
Prince Kamat said "Sweet Shaun, this simply is not fair"
"You must be considerate, or we will need separate beds!"
And sweet Shaun looked back at him, with doe eyes of blue
"I'm sorry Prince Kamat, I tried not to bother you"
Prince Kamat took him by the shoulders and startled his friend
Shaun said, "I have to keep my hair this way, you don't understand!"
The Prince, still unhappy, yelled, "But dearest Shaun-- why? I have given you ale, I have given you pie--"
"I have given you a cat for when I am away, I have given you clothes as good as mine"
His eunuch looked down sadly, he was almost ashamed,
"I am sorry Prince Kamat, that my hair looks so untamed."
"I like the venison and I like the pie, I like the new clothes that jingle when I walk by"
"Then why," said the Prince, "will you not wash your hair?"
Shaun's face grew red, his eyes looked at the floor
And the Prince's anger settled quickly, for he remembered why he called his sweet Shaun so fair.
"Is there a reason you wash everywhere but your head?"
Shaun mumbled quietly, "I'm scared of the bugs."
The Prince was shocked, he was more than confused--
"There are no bugs in my father's palace, not even under the rugs!"
Shaun the Fair, his honesty true, said: "everything is so big here, the palaces, the meat--"
"I've seen the beetles, there are no lice I'd wish to meet."
Prince Kamat was speechless, he knew not what to say-- he had never seen lice, not even a day!
Shaun drew a comb from his pocket and said,"If these are for Redguard lice, I'd rather be dead."
Kamat was ecstatic, he laughed til he cried, he stood the Breton up and said with such glee:
"The comb in your hand is not for you, it is for me!"
"Sweet raga, it is not for lice, it is only for curls-- there are no lice in this palace, I promise, I swear!"
Shaun's face lit up, all at once he understood, his own was straight and red and fair-- the Prince had very different hair!
The teeth in the comb had bristles so wide
They picked through the Prince's curls gently, with care
It did little for Shaun's locks, used to boar-bristle
But what the Breton was used to, for the other would only tear
"You are silly-- you are sweet," said the Prince, "but I understand your fear,"
"If I had felt the very same, not even water I'd go near!"
"You're not mad?" asked Sweet Shaun, growing more red by the second
"Of course not," said the Prince, "but now please shower when you are beckoned."
