Work Text:
“What an oddity you seem to be.”
The doctor spoke, crossing one leg over the other as he flipped through the pages of the puppet’s test results. “Never have I thought I’d see outcomes such as these.”
The aforementioned puppet squirmed uncomfortably in his chair. Though, it could hardly be called a chair, since it more closely resembled an examination table. The metal of the “chair” was cool and hard, a stark contrast to the grassy fields he had grown accustomed to sitting in. It was so… Uncomfortable. This place was uncomfortable. Unlike the outdoors, this lab seemed far less inviting, as it was cold and so, so very bright.
“Quiet little thing, aren’t you?” Kunikuzushi jumped at the sudden words of the doctor in front of him. Dottore was his name, right? He wasn’t exactly sure, since he’d simply overheard it from a few other people.
“I- Um-” He began, but was quickly cut off by the other.
“No no,” Dottore held a hand up to silence him. “No need to talk because of my little comment. Anyway, wouldn’t you rather hear about your results instead of..” He flailed his hand for emphasis. “Idly conversing?”
"R.. Results?” He wasn’t aware all those pokes and prods had been for something important. Dottore gave a wry smile, adjusting the mask on his face before he spoke.
"Yes, yes, results ! You didn’t think all those tests were for nothing, did you?” He gave a mildly unhinged chuckle before proceeding with his words. “As much as I’d love to experiment on you for fun right now, Lady Tsaritsa would prefer I make sure you’re healthy.”
Kunikuzushi opened his mouth to question who Lady Tsaritsa was, but was once again interrupted by the masked man in front of him.
“Please hold all questions until after the report, thank you.” He smiled, before directing his gaze to the many pages in front of him, carefully flipping to the page with ‘ Psychoanalysis ’ written in large, bold print. There were nonsense scribbles and diagrams about the page, far more information that Kunikuzushi could ever hope to comprehend
“Now,” He grinned. “Your psychoanalysis results came out.. Quite interesting.”
The puppet shifted around in his “chair” quietly, nerves creeping up on him ever so slowly. Psychoanalysis?? What the hell does that even mean? “...Is that- Bad?”
Dottore hummed lightly, tilting his head from side to side in thought. “I guess, if that’s how you want to see it. You appear to have some form of the psychoanalytic Oedipal complex, though it’s nothing as weird as it usually is.”
Kunikuzushi blinked. Psychoanalytic what?? Huh??? Was this man even speaking english???? He barely got half a word out before once again being cut off by Dottore.
“Wh-” “In layman’s terms,” Dottore clarified, that stupid grin never leaving his face. “It means you have mommy issues.”
….HUH??
“I’m sorry, I don’t-” Kunikuzushi stumbled out, increasingly confused. “I don’t know what that is.”
Dottore gave another maniacal cackle, leaning back in his rolling chair and showing off his insanely sharp teeth (no pun intended). “You see,” He began. “It’s kind of like… Hm. Being.. Thrown away by a maternal figure. Yes, that’s it.” He mused, crossing his arms and waving his hand about as he went on.
“You crave to have someone care for you. All this paired with what seems to be separation anxiety.”
Ah. Well. That certainly seemed to make more sense than psycho-what’s-it-called.
“Anyway,” The doctor continued, sitting up fully once again and uncrossing his arms. “It’s nothing that isn’t manageable with time, so you needn’t worry.”
Kunikuzushi gave a very soft sigh of relief and nodded. “Ah.. Okay. Was.. That all?”
Dottore responded with flipping to a new page, that same wry smile gracing his masked face. “Nope! There’s still so much more to cover, many more interesting things about you.” He exclaimed.
“For instance,” He adjusted his mask again, a tic Kunikuzushi was beginning to notice that Dottore had. “Your reflexes are completely switched! I’ve never seen someone who bites instead of kicking, and vice versa! If I’m lucky, Lady Tsaritsa’ll let me poke around in that pretty little head of yours to see which wires are crossed.”
All while speaking, Dottore had this sort of spark in his eye. It was fascination, yes, but something about it was a bit more obsessive than that. Maybe a touch of madness? Yes, that had to be it. Kunikuzushi had never seen someone with that sort of look, and so he may have… Zoned out just a little during the madman’s ramblings.
“...And who even knows how many tumors you might have? I might’ve just hit the jackpot with yo-.. Hm.” Dottore ceased his mindless chattering to notice that the other was staring. And not lightly either, he was practically having his soul read. One thing is for sure, he didn’t like it.
“It’s not polite to stare, you know.”
Just like that, Kunikuzushi was snapped out of his trance-like state. “Ah!” He flushed, bowing slightly in his seat. “Sorry I didn’t mean to- Uh- Stare like that, I’m sorry-”
“No, no.” Dottore interjected. “I suppose I shouldn’t have gone on so long.” He gave a long sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose through his mask.
"Let’s continue on with your results, shall we?”