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Steven blinked slowly as he awoke, feeling somewhat dazed after being roused to consciousness from his peaceful sleep. He sat up in his bed, eyes roaming the bedroom as his mind started to wake up with the rest of his body. The silence told him it was well past midnight. The crickets have long since stopped chirping. The hybrid sighed and inhaled deeply as he got out of bed, shuffling down the stairs in a sleepy stupor. He grabbed a glass of water and turned to go back up the stairs when he noticed a dot of magenta on the shoreline. Steven rubbed his eyes groggily and peered through the window again.
“Oh. It’s Spinel,” he muttered to himself, still half-awake. It had been around three months since Spinel came to live on Earth after things didn’t work out with the Diamonds. Spinel refused to talk about it, opting to deflect any questions with an unconvincing smile and a corny joke instead. Prying only led to Spinel closing up further, until eventually, Steven had to give up. To say he is worried about her would be an understatement. After coming to Earth, she’s somehow become even more withdrawn; something he didn’t think was possible. Concern pulled Steven through the screen door and he made his way down the beach.
Spinel was sitting at the shoreline, resting her head on her knees while she absentmindedly traced circles in the sand. The tide lapped at her boots, though she didn’t seem to care. Steven approached her, but Spinel didn’t notice, too lost in thought to hear him. She stared at her repetition with unfocused eyes. It was clear to Steven that she wasn’t entirely present. Spinel jumped slightly as Steven placed a hand on her shoulder, whipping her head around to be met with the boy’s apologetic smile.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you,” he said and sat down next to her. Her eyes darted away to avoid his gaze, finding solace in the circle she began to trace again. “Is everything okay?” he asked her softly. No response. A long silence formed between the two.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Steven leaned forward to look at the gem. Spinel pulled her knees closer to her chest at the question. Pain flickered through her eyes as she quickly broke away from his gaze and Steven didn’t miss it. A quiet 'no' was mumbled into her knees, voice barely audible over the sounds of an already calm ocean.
At a loss for what to do, Steven resigned himself to silence. They both sat for a while, neither one of them daring nor willing to break the silence. Steven shifted awkwardly. Helping others is his specialty, but Spinel was the one person (or gem, rather) that he hasn’t been able to get through to. Steven was quickly realizing that a conversation wouldn’t be an option tonight. He scooted closer to the gem and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into his embrace. He knows how much comfort Spinel takes in physical affection and hoped this would be enough to ease whatever was plaguing her mind. Steven felt the gem tense up as she struggled to contain the torrent of emotions that waged war behind her eyes. Tears threatened to spill as she choked back a sob. She knew she was losing this battle. Spinel swallowed back her tears painfully and sucked in a shaky breath. Her attempts at keeping composure were failing. A warm hand began to stroke her hair.
“It’s okay. Let it all out,” and the dam broke. Spinel’s body shook with the sobs she could no longer contain despite her every effort. Broken wails filled the silence as the once cheerful gem shed tears wracked with unspoken grief. It was heart-rending, to say the least. Her cries filled Steven with sympathy and he had to fight back tears of his own.
He didn’t know how long he sat there with her but figured it had been a couple of hours since the tide had receded considerably. By now, Spinel had gone quiet again save for the occasional sniffle or soft hiccupping. He could feel sleep pulling at his eyelids and fought to stay awake, but realized Spinel was in a far worse state than he was. Exhaustion gripped the gem and it showed. Of course, he knows that gems don’t need sleep, but it was as if all the energy in her body had been drained. Spinel stared out at the ocean with glazed eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she finally said, voice hoarse from her breakdown.
“There’s no need to apologize. You know I’m always here for you, right?” The way he asked had posed it more like an actual question rather than a rhetorical one. Spinel only nodded, too tired to say anything else.
Steven stood up, brushed the sand off of his pajama pants, and extended a hand to her. Spinel took his hand gingerly and he pulled her to her feet. “I have to go back to sleep soon. Why don’t you try sleeping tonight? I know you think it’s pointless, but you look… tired,” he was hesitant to admit the last part, and concern was laced into his voice. Spinel quirked a brow in confusion. “Gems don’t need sleep. I can’t get ‘tired’, Steven,” she spoke, leaving an emphasis on ‘tired’ as if it were an alien word.
“True. But why not give it a try? It might make you feel better to turn off for a while. Decompress,” he flashed her a somewhat tired smile and gave a shrug. Spinel would be lying if she said that didn’t sound appealing. The gem held her head low, twiddling her thumbs. Shame began to creep into the back of her mind over the events that took place throughout the night.
“I guess I could try…?” her response sounded unsure, but she acquiesced to the human boy’s request anyway. She felt she owed it to him. Steven recognized the look of guilt that pulled her expression into a dejected frown. “I’m sorry...” she apologized again.
“Spinel, really, it’s ok,” Steven took her hand in his and gave it a light squeeze, hoping that would give her the reassurance she needed. Spinel remained unconvinced.
Steven held the gem’s hand as he led them both back inside the beach house. She paused at the door. Normally Spinel tries to avoid the temple, too afraid and too ashamed to face the Crystal Gems. She knows they don’t forgive as easily as a certain human-gem hybrid. Steven noticed the other’s hesitation and stopped. “The Crystal Gems aren’t here if that’s what you’re worried about. They’re out on a trip with the newest graduating class from Little Homeworld. Won’t be back for at least another week,” the visible relief that washed over Spinel sent a pang of sadness through the boy. The fact that Spinel believes the Gems will reject her and the fact that it scares her this much made his heart heavy in a way that he couldn’t explain. Especially when it was quite the opposite in this case. They’re all worried about Spinel just as much as he is.
Pushing those thoughts aside, Steven set to work making the couch into a makeshift bed. He stepped back and admired his handiwork with a satisfied huff. “There you go. You’re all set,” he said and patted the couch. Spinel sat down nervously, unsure of what to do. “How do I go about… initiating a sleep cycle?” she spoke slowly, looking for the right words.
“It’s pretty simple. First, lay down and get comfortable. It helps to get under the covers,” Steven chuckled as he watched her shimmy down under the blankets. “Alright, what’s next?” Spinel looked up at him, the first eye contact she’s made with him all night. Steven couldn’t help but smile at that. “Next you close your eyes and relax. Thinking too much will make it difficult to fall asleep, but don’t worry about that. Sometimes we just have to let our minds wander before we can go to sleep,” he rubbed the back of his neck in thought. “That’s pretty much all there is to it. I’m going to head to bed now. Goodnight, Spinel. If you need anything, don’t be afraid to wake me up.”
Spinel watched as Steven climbed the stairs to his bedroom. She laid on her side, clutching the pillow to her chest. Her thoughts were quiet now, too tired to think anymore. Sleep came easily for Spinel that night. An unexpected victory for the weary gem. She woke up late in the afternoon to walls bathed in orange light and the sound of rolling waves echoing through the small beach house. Spinel felt serene in that brief moment; and although it didn’t chase away the burdens that weighed heavy on her mind, she found it made them just a little bit easier to carry. Maybe sometimes it’s nice to cry.