Work Text:
“Are you sure?” Heisenberg asked, shifting his weight uncomfortably.
It would be easy to forget the two of them weren’t human. They looked normal enough.
But Heisenberg never felt human, even when he was confined to his human form. Always, he felt the energy just under his skin. Some days he felt fit to burst, feeling like his body simply couldn't contain him. Mutation, transforming— it was like stretching, or scratching an itch he hadn’t been able to reach. Not strictly necessary, but sometimes it felt nice to drop the facade of humanity and let himself be, set himself free.
Heisenberg had carved out an evening for himself, to allow himself that comfort. He didn’t have any particular love for his mutated form, but it was a part of him he’d never be able to escape. He’d stopped fighting it after a few decades. The discomfort of denying it was far worse than the discomfort of acknowledging that he was an abomination.
He’d had no plans to tell Ethan what exactly he was doing that evening, but Ethan had asked. Heisenberg was perfectly comfortable lying by omission, but outright dishonestly was not something he was comfortable with. Not with Ethan. Never with him. So he’d explained what he was doing, and why. Heisenberg wasn’t sure how Ethan would take it, the reminder of what he was under his human exterior.
Heisenberg knew he was a monster. He’d made peace with that. But he didn’t want to see that sentiment reflected in Ethan’s eyes.
After hearing what he was doing, Ethan had asked if he could be there with Heisenberg while he transformed. Ethan knew the change took a lot out of the man— it had before, when they’d defeated Miranda. Realistically, there was absolutely nothing to worry about, but Ethan had always been the type to worry too much about his loved ones.
He just wanted to be sure Heisenberg would be okay, had to see that he was fine with his own eyes.
Heisenberg asked Ethan if he was sure, if he really wanted to see him in that form; monstrous, completely inhuman.
“Of course I’m sure,” Ethan had said. Because what else could Heisenberg expect from him? Ethan had always cared too much for his own good.
Heisenberg had nodded in response, and led Ethan further into the factory.
There was one place in the factory he felt comfortable transforming; it was the only place that was really large enough to house him comfortably. It had been a place of his own making, not in the original layout. Originally, it had just been to experiment with his abilities, to push the extent of his power. But once he’d had to accept all of what he was, it became a safe space for him. No prying eyes; he’d put cameras all over the factory, but never in there. He’d never wanted anyone to see him transformed— not even himself. If it was never recorded, he didn’t have to look at it.
The only time anyone had ever seen him transform was when he and Ethan had taken on Miranda, and he’d been too caught up in the fight to worry about anyone’s reaction to his monstrous form. He hadn’t cared enough about what Ethan thought back then, either. That had come later.
He wanted to ask Ethan one more time— are you sure? Are you sure you want to see me this way? But he didn’t. The answer would be the same.
He felt like he should say something before he started, but what was there to say?
Heisenberg stripped down, letting his clothes pool on the floor next to him. No need to sacrifice his clothes, no need for modesty. It wasn’t anything Ethan hadn’t seen before. And he was far more comfortable with Ethan seeing him nude than in the form he was preparing to take.
He didn’t look back at Ethan as he walked away, going to the center of the room.
Heisenberg took a deep breath, closing his eyes. The room smelled of copper and oil, familiar and soothing. He was prickling with anticipation, goosebumps on his skin. He raised his arms, and let it begin.
Metal that had been piled in the room started to float, circling him steadily. From Ethan’s perspective, it looked like Heisenberg was at the center of a storm, the harsh lighting of the factory painting a striking image.
The metal started to fly towards Heisenberg, piece after piece aiming for his soft flesh at high velocity. It attached to him, his body shedding it’s human veneer. His body reshaped itself, pulling apart and piecing itself together in a new form. Sinew wrapped around metal, holding it fast. It felt good to let himself loose after holding himself back for so long It was like stretching a muscle he hadn’t used in a while; painful, but he knew it would be pure bliss when he was done.
Heisenberg stretched his new form, getting used to the feeling of being big all over again. It was always a little bit like coming home, letting his abilities run freely. He was a monster, but he couldn’t help that.
He hoped Ethan understood.
Heisenberg knew Ethan was behind him still, wanting to be sure he was okay. Slowly, he turned his massive form to look at the tiny human. Ethan’s eyes roamed over him, before resting on his face, stretched and distorted over his metal skeleton. He said nothing, simply looking at him.
He was almost frustrated by Ethan’s reaction— his lack of reaction.
“How do you feel?” Ethan asked, finally breaking the silence.
Heisenberg shifted his weight, metal groaning under the strain.
“Better,” He replied. Ethan nodded his head, approaching him.
He wanted to shrink back; he didn’t want to be under scrutiny, and that was surely what he was going to get now. He was certain it was only a matter of time before Ethan voiced his opinion, and he was certain it would be negative.
“Can I touch you?” Ethan asked.
He wanted to say no.
“Yes,” He replied.
Heisenberg could feel the delicate touch of Ethan’s hand on some exposed sinew; the touch was like an electric shock, his skin sensitive from the change. It was too much, the sensation overwhelming.
So Heisenberg did what he always did when he was overwhelmed— he got mad.
He pulled away from Ethan, backing himself into the wall. The room had always been safe, a haven for him to escape to. When had the room become so small?
“How— how can you look at me?” He said, a metallic twang in his voice. “Touch me? I don’t understand,” He didn’t look at the man, turning his head away. “I’m a monster. You shouldn’t want to look at me,”
Ethan watched Heisenberg for a moment, his brows furrowed.
“Heis— Karl, look at me,” Ethan said. Heisenberg did no such thing.
Ethan sighed. “Please? Karl?”
Heisenberg slouched down, but obliged. He turned to Ethan, letting his head down so they would be at eye-level.
Ethan took a step forward, coming within inches of Heisenberg’s distorted face. He put a hand up, gently running his fingertips over the skin. The touch practically burned, leaving Heisenberg biting back a whimper.
“I love you. Every part of you,” Ethan murmured. He pressed a kiss to Heisenberg’s skin. “This is you. I wouldn’t have you be anything else than that,”
“But I’m…” Heisenberg trailed off.
“Perfect,” Ethan finished. "I wanted to be here because I love you, Karl. I want you safe and happy. Healthy. You don't need to hide from me," There was a shine to Ethan’s eyes, a reverence that was clear on his face. He meant every word he said. If Heisenberg could cry in his mutated form, he would. It was such a relief. A weight he didn’t know he'd been carrying, suddenly lifted.
Acceptance.
Ethan could look at him, all that he was, and still look at him with love. A monster, yes, but not to him.
Never to Ethan.
Heisenberg relaxed after that, curling up in a comfortable position. Ethan climbed up into some of the scrap, making himself comfortable. Heisenberg could almost laugh; Ethan finding a comfortable little nook in his armor, worming his way in and making himself right at home. Dangerous as he was, Ethan wasn’t afraid. Disgusting as he felt, Ethan wasn’t disgusted.
They spent hours that way; Heisenberg relaxing in his mutated form, and Ethan curled up on top him. It was a good way to spend the time.
"We should do this more often," Ethan said.
"Hm?"
"I mean, this is comfortable for you, right?"
"...Yes," Heisenberg answered.
"Then we should come down here more. Let you... I don't know, stretch out," Ethan said, shrugging.
"I... would like that," Heisenberg said, his voice low.
He closed his eyes, smiling as best he could in that form.
Maybe, one day, he could learn to do more than simply tolerate himself in that form.
Learn to love the monster that hid under his skin.