Work Text:
Lucifer
Good morning. I always suspected you of being a late riser in your own world, though not quite this late in the morning.
...Ah, I was reminiscing about your final evening here with us—rather, with me. There was too much I still wanted to say before you left. Do remember to return my call the moment you wake, or there will be hell to pay upon your return.
Stay safe.
Mammon
Hey, hey, hey! Wake up, wake up, wake up! Rise and shine, baby. Do I have a proposition for ya, but I gotta tell ya directly, so call me back, all right?
…Uh, well, while I have ya here, y-you’re doin’ okay, right? Ain’t anyone picking fights with ya or anything? Because if they are, you know you can always summon me to kick some serious butt. No one’s picking on my human without hearing from me!
So, uh…give me a ring, human. I gotta hear your voice…N-not because I miss ya or anything! Bye!
Leviathan
H-hey, it’s Leviathan, um…So, I was just looking online at some of the upcoming concerts and conventions in the human world, and I noticed there’s one happening close to you. Okay, not like…super close, but it’s not too far. I bet we can book a hotel or something for us if we ask now before all the normies start buying tickets! I-I mean, if you want to share a room…or maybe we’ll get two rooms next to each other with a door in-between them? I don’t know, um…but…let me know, okay? Okay. Thanks.
Satan
Hello, this is Satan. I was, uh…calling to talk to you about this book I’ve read recently, um…about human world…things. I wanted to, uh…ask you about it? If that’s okay?
Um…Well, I thought calling you at this hour would reach you, so I can’t help but wonder what you’re up to. Are you asleep?
Ah, that would be cute, since this would be the first thing you heard when you get up…
Uh, wh-what? I didn’t say anything! Have a good day, and call me back!
Asmodeus
Hello, my beautiful dove! Is it late there? Or, oh dear, it’s late here too, isn’t it? I just walked in after a night out. Would you believe I left early? I did! I just couldn’t get you off my mind tonight, and all of the other pretty demons at the club dancing with me were all too...dirty. Please come home, darling. I can’t sleep without knowing you’re keeping yourself away from other cute people. Remember, you’ve got the most gorgeous creature in all the realms lusting for you, and there’s no runner-up down there!
Beelzebub
Hey, morning. Did you eat yet?
Oh, sorry, that’s not the best way to start a voice message. Um…What did you have for dinner last night? I hope you’re eating well.
Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, it’s because I’m wondering whether you’re taking care of your meals. It’s different when I can’t see you to make sure you’re feeling okay. On nights like that, I usually leave an extra snack in the fridge, just in case you come back. Funny, huh?
Ah, well, it’s time for breakfast. Call me when you’re on break, okay?
Belphegor
Hey, wake up. I know you can see your caller ID. Ugh, you really know how to keep a demon waiting, not like I need you to pick up or anything.
Anyway, I can’t sleep. I thought maybe if you told me a boring story about what’s going on in the human world, it’d help me go back to bed, but I guess that’s not happening.
Actually, leaving a message like this has helped. I’m getting sleepy. So, seriously, thanks.
Don’t think anything else of it thought. Sweet dreams.