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Summary
She had no loyalty to her old master. He’d killed the smiling little girl she could’ve been. She had even less loyalty to the woman who had taken his place. She followed the Martinet because he, at least, understood what they were.
Series
- Part 3 of Burn Your Kingdom Down
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A pre-canon story in which Essek has just become shadowhand and he has inherited the people who were broken by his predecessor. A whole group of men and women who think of themselves as blank tools, some more wholly than others, and through Essek's service, he gains their true loyalty. Why? He treats them like the tools they are, maintaining them, using them well, and knowing where each fits best to fix certain problems.
Little flashes from various sets of eyes: Vague contentment from a job well done because Essek set him to work and he did it so well because Essek gave him the info and tools needed. Getting a suicide mission from Essek and being pleased because she knows she is nearing the end of her usefulness (still tragically young, but old enough, injured enough her bones creak) and this is a good way out. She will be useful, dying like this. She is trusted, Essek knowing she will not let herself die until the mission is done. Distant ease, for he knows this is a trust fall and he is happy to obey. Essek giving orders to torture someone they know to be innocent so that the true crime's culprits will reveal themselves. A terror, for a greater good.
They want to obey him. They want to be good for him. They are conditioned to follow his every word and Essek is relying on them, yes, but he's also not making more of them; a confusing and worrying prospect because their numbers are limited and they break so fast. As such, they take it upon themselves to recruit children and break/condition them to follow Essek as they do. Essek feels his stomach turn at this but he needs these people, so he turns a blind eye to it other than to meet the "final product", something that every new recruit learns to long for.
A veteran drow, one who is particularly loyal and has been around since before Essek's time, is especially eager to serve. Once, when they had a month of downtime, they started going stir crazy (subtly) with the need to be needed. They request a meeting with Essek (rare) and sink to their knees before him (dangerous) and ask to serve him (!!!). Essek has no idea what to do with this and he shouldn't let it show on his face but he can't help but let the littlest flicker of caution show as he turns to face his soldier head-on. The veteran feels a swell of appreciation for Essek and self-loathing too, as Essek is treating them like the danger they are, recognizing both their power and their potential for harm because they are acting outside their programming. The veteran bows further, lowering themself into the most entire form of submission they can before again asking to serve. Essek pauses, then orders the veteran to hand him his pens as he needs them. The veteran kneels at his side, pleased with the trust because there's info to be gleaned from what color pen Essek uses when, but they deliberately don't analyze this info, happy to serve at all. Essek's mind is just a steady stream of WTF.
When the Nein show up and Essek begins to soften, being this perfect monolith for his agents feels more and more intolerable but he puts up the front anyway. He can't fathom doing anything else, it's too dangerous to his mind. However, his agents notice his growing stress and exhaustion and they don't care- they know his mind and they are his, entirely. He could order them to slit their throats for his entertainment, for *stupid reasons*, and they would do it with a smile. They need to be needed. As such, when he starts giving them orders to guard the Nein or deliver them mail, etc, they accept the Nein happily because it gives them more chances to serve.
Much, much later, when Lucien and Aeor and done with, Essek returns home on tenderhooks because he thinks he'll be caught and executed any day now. His agents catch on to his stress because they pay so much attention to him but their orders remain unchanged, nothing issued to alleviate things. Finally, a young member abases herself before him, asking to serve in a way that's bold and disgustingly open. Several others watch on in secret, eager for orders, willing to kill the girl for Essek if ordered because of her "irrational" behavior. Essek freezes up and the girl continues, announcing her loyalty to him alone and not the Dynasty, explaining that his perfection isn't required because he owns her and she is nothing without him. Essek shakily tries to enforce her personhood, apologizing for his cruelty (this scares everyone in the room) but she refuses this, hard. She is his. She wants this. Essek asks for her to stay, he just needs time to think. Tears slide down his cheeks after a few minutes but nobody comments- they just ache for want to act.
Essek ends up with a house full of servants he didn't ask for, at least two hanging about secretly near his and Caleb's home. The Nein are surprised to learn that Essek still has all the power of shadowhand and he serves the Dynasty, even without the formal title.