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It was around 4 a.m. Richie Tozier had given up on sleep at that point. He often found himself in this familiar cycle.
I’m not tired.
But I need to sleep, or else I’ll be tired at school tomorrow.
Shit, okay. Focus on sleeping, Richie.
Oh my god I can’t sleep, I’m just not fucking tired.
But I need to sleep, or else I’ll be tired at school tomorrow.
Shit, okay, focus on-
and so on.
Some nights he would tire himself out and would fall asleep naturally. Other nights he would accept the fact that he’d stay up all night and pace around his room or get ahead on his homework.
And once in a while, he would pay a visit to his best friend, Eddie.
So that’s what he was doing at the moment - packing his school bag for the next day, adding the two X-Men comics that Eddie had left last time he had visited, and climbing out his window. It was mid November, and Derry found itself in the transitional period between autumn and winter. It was chilly, chilly enough for Richie to be able to see his own breath, but not cold enough to require more than an extra layer of clothing over his pajamas.
He reached the familiar Kaspbrak house and prayed that his favorite person in the world was awake. Even though Eddie always kept his window unlocked for Richie’s sake, he would always choose an awake Eds over a sleeping one. So he was disappointed when he climbed up to the other boy’s window and saw him laying in bed.
Richie opened the window as quietly as he could, silently climbing in. Whenever he visited while Eddie was awake, he made a big show of tumbling through the window, but he figured if no one was watching he didn’t have to deliberately be clumsy for attention.
Now that he was inside the room, he realized that Eddie wasn’t sleeping at all. He was laying on his side with his back facing Richie, but he was visibly shaking while hugging himself as tightly as possible. He could have sworn he heard a sniffle or two.
“Hey Eds?” Richie asked quietly, concern growing. He watched the other boy startle before recognizing his voice and relaxing. “Are you okay?”
“Don’t call me that,” Eddie muttered shakily, still not facing Richie. Silence fell over the two of them, Richie’s question being left unanswered. The taller of the two talked over to the other side of the bed, so that Eddie faced him. He was heartbroken to see a tear stained face gazing back at him. Eddie’s lip was trembling and he was sweating profusely despite the room being cold.
“Oh, Eddie,” he breathed, unsure what to do. He wanted so desperately to crack a joke, to do one of his Voices, do anything to escape the uncomfortable situation. Instead he just asked, “What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” the other boy whispered. “Can you just... lay with me for a bit?”
“Of course,” Richie answered immediately. He took off his shoes and crawled into bed next to eddie. In a fleeting attempt at lessening the tension, he joked, “Reminds me of laying in bed with your mom last night-”
He was cut off by a sob. Richie’s eyes widened and for the first time in his life worried that he had gone too far. Did he say something especially fucked up? It was definitely on the mild side of his jokes about Sonia in his opinion, so why-
“Don’t joke- just- shut up, Richie.”
“Eds, I-”
“Shut the fuck up.”
Although he was used to hearing those four words directed at him from Eddie, he had never heard them thrown at him so viciously. It was more than enough to get him to comply, but his anxiety was through the roof. He hadn’t meant to offend Eddie - he knew that, didn’t he?
“Richie?”
He stayed quiet.
“Rich.”
The silence was enough to get Eddie to turn towards him, sitting up during the process. Richie’s eyes were downcast, staring aimlessly into the blankets.
“I’m sorry,” Eddie tried.
“No, i-” Richie sighed. “I’m sorry.” After another deep breath, he fumbled through what he hoped was a decent enough apology. He was never good at those. “And, um... if you want I’ll stop making jokes. You know, if they, like... upset you or something. I don’t want to offend you.”
“You’re not offending me,” Eddie replied. He carefully slipped his right hand into Richie’s left. “It’s just... the timing was completely off.” He chuckled.
“Oh, so you think you can give the great comedian a few notes?” Richie teased, squeezing Eddie’s hand that was still intertwined with his. Eddie grinned and shook his head.
“You’re not the great comedian, Rich, you’re so not funny.”
“Oh, okay, call me a fucking elephant while you’re at it.”
Eddie snorted, unsuccessfully hiding his laughter. Relieved that the boy next to him didn’t seem angry at him anymore, Richie let himself sink into the pillows. The two teenagers sat in silence, trying very hard not to think about their connected hands. Each boy hoped the other didn’t mind their increasingly clammy hands.
“It was my mom,” Eddie muttered, breaking the silence. Richie turned his head to face him and sent him a questioning look. “She... she does shit. sometimes. And i’m just freaked out. I guess. I dunno.”
“Well, what did she do?” Richie asked in a gentle voice that neither of them knew he was capable of.
“I mean, like, I don’t even know if I can complain,” he confessed, avoiding eye contact. “Like... Bev’s dad is horrible and scary, and Bill’s parents blame him for Georgie, and... and your parents-”
“You have every right to complain, Eds,” Richie interrupted almost hastily. “Your mom can be pretty shitty sometimes.”
“Yeah,” Eddie scoffed. He felt tears start to form and he tried to blink them away. “But like... I think my mom put something in my food.”
“What- what did she put in your food?”
“Something... something that made me drowsy? Like maybe a sleeping pill? And, like, I guess I was being pissy today, because she started crying about how I don’t love her anymore and she feels like I’m being corrupted, which is bullshit, and then I ate dinner and got really tired, and then- and-”
Richie tried not to be awkward as he rubbed Eddie’s back, trying to comfort the sobbing boy. “You’re gonna be okay,” he whispered unhelpfully. God, he was hopeless. Eddie tried to get a hold of himself and stumbled his way through the story.
“I got tired, but not enough to actually fall asleep, and she made me...” he squeezed his eyes shut. “She made me lay down- next to her- and... fuck, you’re gonna laugh.” Richie blinked. Once, twice.
“Eddie,” he said. “This is clearly making you upset, what kind of piece of shit would laugh? You can trust me.”
“She kind of... touched... me. A lot. And- and I couldn’t do anything. I waited until she fell asleep before I came back here. I think the pill wore off and now I can’t fucking sleep.”
And Richie had not the slightest clue what to say. Should he make a joke? No. Should he comfort Eddie? probably. Should he beat Sonia senseless? He sure wanted to. In fact, it was taking every fucking fiber in his being not to storm downstairs to Sonia’s room right then and there. How could she do this? It was sick. He wanted to throw up. Why Eddie? Why did the universe pick this perfect, beautiful person and torment him? It wasn’t fair.
“Richie?”
Eddie’s small voice caused Richie to snap out of it and realize that he hadn’t said anything.
“Yeah. I’m just... I’m just thinking.” The other boy nodded silently in response. (That was probably the worst thing you could have said, Richie scolded internally.)
“You know,” Eddie started, “She’s not a bad person. She loves me.”
“Eds, listen to me. That- that is not love. That’s called being possessive. It’s not okay for her to do that, and you have every fucking right to freak out. Hell, I would be freaking the fuck out.
you’re braver than you think.”
“Oh. Thanks, Richie.”
Eddie laid down so that his upper half laid in Richie’s lap. Richie tentatively combed the other boy’s hair with his hands and felt Eddie relax under his touch.
“One day,” Richie whispered, “We’ll run away together. To California. Or New York. And we’ll live in a little apartment. and we’ll have a cat.”
“A little orange one.”
“Yep. And we’ll take such good care of it. And I’ll take care of you. And we’ll be away from this stupid fucking town forever.”
“Yeah. forever.”