Chapter Text
Your leg bounced as you awaited him. He’s never late, why is he late? Your mind races as your heart thumps. Looking at the clock you notice it’s only been two minutes since you last checked on it. He’s seven minutes late now. Where is he?
You leaned back into the comfy chair you sat in. Maybe he couldn’t find you, you were in the back of the library after all. But you two always meet here. Maybe it’s nothing. Yeah, it’s nothing, he’ll show up any second. You know it. If you know Levi it’s that he always pulls through, you think. You’ve only known him for a little less than a month. Maybe he doesn’t want to be your friend anymore.
Maybe he does have a girlfriend. He does, doesn’t he. He just didn’t want to make it weird when you nervously asked him. You roll your eyes to the back of your head remembering that moment. You felt so hot and your throat was tight. You didn’t know what you were thinking, it just came out.
You whip out your phone and press the message icon.
I’ll be there at 4:30.
You read that text one too many times.
I’ll be there at 4:30
I’ll be there at 4:30
I’ll be there at 4:30
At 4:30
4:30
4:30
4:30
4:30
You looked at the time once more
4:41
He’s now 11 minutes late. You run your fingers through your hair. Your throat closes and your chest throbs. Maybe he doesn’t want to do this anymore? This was so stupid of you to start. He definitely felt cornered into doing this with you. You should have never asked him to meet here. Libraries are so boring, he probably thinks you're a shitty nerd for having your face in a book so much. What a loser, you really don't have a life, do you?
You rest your phone in your lap, the black scream lighting up. Your head snaps down to it but you realize that there’s nothing to be seen and that it might have reacted to the motion.
4:42, 12 minutes. Your nostrils flare as you take a deep breath in the rough nose. Just be patient, you keep reminding yourself. It’s not working so well. All these unwanted thoughts fill your head. You should have never mistaken the stupid run ins to be a signe of fate. You're so happy you never said that out loud. That would have made you sound even more stupid than you already are.
Your eyes are locked on the ugly brown, blue, and green carpet below you. It reminds you of a hospital waiting room. You can say you’ve been to those a few times. Scratching the back of your neck you look up a bit, snapping yourself out of your trance.
You see someone, an elder woman, she’s walking your way. Is she gonna come over and say something to you? What is she going to comment on? Your hair? Your posture? The book on the side table next to you? Your legs? Hands? Lips? She’s getting closer, your heart is pounding in your ears as she makes eye contact with you. You swallow what feels to be a brick and hold your breath.
What’s going on? It’s not like this little old lady is going to call out all of your secrets in the world. She’s not gonna hurt you. She’s not gonna stab you, at least not in a library, you hope not anyway. It’s just an old lady, nothing to be nervous about. You look down at your lap, reassuring yourself that there will be no eye contact made.
You watch the black slip ons get closer. Her shaky old legs and a cane supporting them. This is going to be the death of you. Your heart is going to explode, you can feel your throat swell up and close as her feet stop right in front of your crossed legs.
You keep your gaze down. The buckles that go across her shoes are shining and the leather is glistening. They are either freshly polished or brand new. Her veiny legs are covered with a layer of peach colored thin fabric. A pair of pantyhose. You could practically see your reflection in her black metal cane. The hem of her long skirt was a yellow color, not too dark of a yellow but not too bright.
Suddenly, you feel her hand come crashing down on your shoulder. You couldn’t think for a moment. What is she gonna do? She’s gonna talk to you isn’t she. If only you would have been less sketchy looking. Maybe if you hadn’t been bouncing your leg like an anxious person this wouldn’t be happening.
“Dear, are you alright?” Her shaky grandma voice was like nails on a chalkboard at that moment. You nodded your head in response.
“Just waiting for someone.” You were shocked that you let yourself speak. Taking a deep breath you look up at her. Not in her eyes, but at the bridge of her nose, right in between her old wrinkled eyes that have seen many things. You see the deep marks of crowd feet at the edge of her eyes when you dart around to find something else to focus on. She looks like she’s had a good life.
“Mmm, we’ll let’s hope they make it here soon. The snow seems to be just starting to fall.” She takes her hand off your shoulder and you look out into the grey world. Your favorite time of year, winter.
People go out less, it’s dark, cold, snowy, and overall an amazing time of year. Finally, the snow is falling. It took its sweet time getting here.
“Oh really?” You hum, looking out the big window.
The old lady looks to the side table and notices the book you had.
“Oh, is this yours?” She squeaks happily. You nod, looking at the big brown buttons on her coat. She gasps and picks the book up ever so gently. As if it’s dust and if she grips it too tightly the book will crumble and fall into a grey pile at her feet.
“The Giver, I remember my husband absolutely loved this story!” She chirped out. You nodded slowly, looking down in your lap. The face recognition did its job and the phone lit up.
4:47
Your heart sinks. He’s not coming, is he? Your teeth grind together as you wait patiently for him. The lady sets down your book and looks at your worried expression, eyes glued to your phone to see if you get any messages from him. She smiles at your very nervous behavior. You must be on a date, she concludes.
”Well, you two shouldn’t stay too long, snow gets pretty heavy pretty quick round here.” She chuckles at the end. “It was nice chatting with you young lady.” She taps your shoulder and you give her a smile.
“Nice talking to you too” you call out to her ever so quietly. Her hand raises as she walks away and suddenly the thoughts flood back in. Where is he? You’d hate to be annoying and call but if you don’t you're going to get worried. Your leg is still bouncing, you take a deep breath. Unlocking your phone you go to the call app and start to scroll through the contacts.
“L, L, L, L” you whisper to yourself.
Lacie, no
Lana, no
Leo, no
Leon, no
Levi
Levi, your thumb was quick to press the name of the recently added contact. You proceed to press the phone button next to the profile without a picture. You see that the call has started, there’s no going back now. You press the cool phone up to your ear. It rings once, twice, and a third time before a phone rings in the library, it’s close by but you pay no mind to it.
That is until you hear a certain voice along with it.
“Shit” his curses seep through his teeth like venom as he desperately tries to turn off his phone. As he presses the power button the phone goes silent and the spike of anxiety that he felt washes away.
You look up and see the black long sleeved covered arm with a coat folded over. You know exactly who that arm belongs to and with that your throbbing heart finally comes to a rest as he poked his head from behind the shelf. Your brows furrow as he rolls his eyes and finally comes fully out. He looks great, as usual. He’s wearing grey suit pants with a black turtleneck. Settle, but settle suits him well. And as always, that shiny dog tag that dangles from his neck.
“How long were you hiding for?” You grumble at him as you lean back and cross your legs in the big chair. He gives you a blank stare while he fixes his shirt. The fabric was tight around his arms. It showed his hard earned muscles off.
Shrugging, he sits down and looks at the clock across the room. “About 15 minutes”
Your mouth parts the slightest bit as your eyes drill into the back of his head. His hair is kept as it always is. The undercut is fresh, the curtain of hair flowing along his face perfectly, it looks so soft and shiny.
“But it was worth seeing you all distressed” he adds, looking at you from the side to see your reaction. Appalled, as he assumed would be your reaction. You looked horribly taken aback and he loved every second of that expression of yours. He loved it so much in fact that it was hard to keep a straight face, but his trained frown and furrowed brows acted like a steel mask. You wouldn't have been able to tell he was holding back a chuckle.
“I wasn't distressed.” You mumble with a pout as you grab your book from the table in between the two of you. Levi only rolled his eyes at you yet again.
“I told you I’d be here.” He hummed out to you. Watching as you frantically flip through the pages of the old book. He took a mental note to not keep you waiting again, seeing how anxious you are. Your foot bouncing up and down like a kid on a trampoline. He wasn't sure what to do with you. Maybe it wasn't a good decision to mess with you like that. He doesn't normally, maybe he just isn't in his right mind. After all, the news that he got this morning was nothing he wanted to hear.
“I know, I’m sorry I should have waited longer.” You apologize, teeth digging into your bottom lip. For some reason you're more nervous than you normally are. You feel hot. Maybe a thick sweater wasn't the best choice. Maybe it's just hot in here. No no, it's definitely just you. Why did you have to pick out something so itchy and thick?
“Don't be.” He sighed, hand scratching the back of his head. Now all he wants to do is go home. But if he goes home, he's all alone. He hates the ringing in his ears when he's at home alone. The silence is so loud and it bothers him. He shrugs off the heavy feeling. He's with you, he should focus on being with you for the time being.
You take a deep breath, sighing as you closed the yellow book. Just breathe, it's fine. You remind yourself. You're with Levi, just focus on him.
“Well, it's finally snowing!” You change the topic. Happy and cheerful, you focus on him. One person at a time. Just take your time.
“Tch, bout time. Been hearing about it ever since we met.”
“Well I didn't hear any complaining. I enjoy winter, it's so cold and I love it.” A smile tugs your lips as you look out the window. You watch the thick flurys fall to the ground. You can see there's already a dusting of snow on the cold concrete of the parking lot. Christmas is going to be here before you know it. You need to go shopping for family...and Levi.
“You mean to tell me you like freezing your ass off?” You look at him. His brows are contorted upwords and his lips are parted slightly. He awaits your answer with a very confused expression. You huff a laugh at him before you give him that answer.
“Who likes to freeze their ass off? I’m talking about being all cozy and drinking hot beverages.” You explained simply.
“But you said you like the cold.”
“I don't know how to explain it.” You finally mumble to him. He cocks a brow at you in return.
You set your phone on the table face down. Then you kick your boots off and bring your legs up on the chair. You sit criss cross with the book in your hand waiting for Levi to get ready as well. The two of you love to read. Mostly the same stuff but Levi doesn't like romance and fantasy as much as you do. Sometimes you need a good love story. Most of the time they are sappy and cliche but that's what makes them enjoyable. Levi finds it cringy, you just can't help but laugh at him.
This time around, the two of you recommended books to each other. Levi said you’d like The Giver , you do but you’ve already read the book. Your seventh grade english class read it together but you just don't have the heart to tell him that. Although it might have been hard to tell he seemed passionate about the book and excited to hear your opinions on it. Besides, it doesn't hurt to reread a book once in a while. It has been a minute since seventh grade. As for you, you recommended a darker, more disturbing novel, No longer human .
You read that book in your late teens. It's good and you can't wait to see what Levi has to say. You found while reading it, your stomach twisted and sank. The same as it does when you're being confronted by someone.
“Well, is it good?” Levi asked, a shimmer in his eyes. But as you looked into them, as you studied his slightly warped eyebrows, his lips that tugged down a bit more, the way his Adam's apple bobs when he swallows more often than normal. Your brows naturally narrow somewhat. Your head cocks to the left as you try and study the man in front of you more before you snap out of trying to figure him out and answer when he clears his throat.
“Oh, Y-yeah...I like it. Sorry” You trail off. Levi gives you a huff. You always apologize. Even when you don't need to. He doesn't know whether or not to acknowledge it.
“What chapter are you on?” He asked curiously.
“Seven, I like the concept of them being assigned jobs at a young age and everything is basically chosin for them. How the world is black and white and people can only know so much. It’d be boring to live in a world like that...I think.”
Levi was taken aback by your statement. He didn't expect you to have that much to say about the story this early on. He was glad to have been able to pick out something you were able to pay attention to. Most times he finds you spaced out, swimming in your own thoughts. That's mostly when the two of you settle on a more crowded space to meet up. He hummed at your thoughts, content of your opinions so far.
“...Boring? How would it be boring to live in a world where everything is planned out for you? I thought you’d like to live in that sort of world.” He says, bluntly at that. Your heart throbs when he says the last part. Does he think you're that boring? You take a deep breath and sigh, repositioning yourself, turning in your seat to face him with your whole body.
“Well it means you don't really get a choice on who you love or what you do. Hell, you can't even see color.” You mumble, your elbow on the edge of the armrest of your chair. It holds up your head as you eye the magazine cover.
On the cover is a woman, dressed in an oversized red and green Christmas sweater. Her ear to ear smile as she holds up gifts. In big bold white letters on the top reads Kohls . It reminds you of the upcoming holiday, which reminds you of the falling snow outside and you look up and can't help the warm feeling in your stomach as you see Levi had already been eyeing you.
“It's like you're a living robot” You hum to him. You watch as his brows knit together even more than they already were.
“A living robot.” He mumbled to himself. There was a moment of content silence as Levi faced forward in his seat, thinking hard about something. His eyes bore into the mixed carpet. You watched absentmindedly. Taking in mind his clenching jaw. There's something bothering him. You feel the pounding in your chest trying to get you to confront him about it but you can't seem to as you nibble the inside of your cheek.
It was only then, when you saw a strand of his hair start to become loose behind his ear. He didn't notice, but you did. Before it got the chance to bother his thinking by getting in his eyes your hand moved on its own. Sticking the soft hair back into place. His body twitched at the sudden gesture. And he was quick to look your way. Your hand now in a fist at your side, you were turned away from him.
It's always when you're with him, your mind makes you do stuff you don't want to do. Why do you act out so much? He's gonna think you're touchy and get annoyed. The lump in your throat prevents you from even thinking about saying a word, but as you open your mouth to catch your breath and apologize something out of the ordinary came from Levi.
“Thanks” His voice was soft, reassuring, he didn't want you to think he was frustrated by you.
Your wide eyes looked at him with surprise. You didn't know what to say.
“Sorry”
Damn it
He huffed a laugh at you, then stood up. He grabbed the book out of your hands, your cold phone that sat on the table and your purse that was laying on the floor.
“Get your shoes on.” He said as you watched him. You were quick to slide your feet in your boots and stand up, brushing your legs off in the process.
“Levi...what are we doing again?” You ask as if he specified before he told you to get up. You caught up to him and reached for your things that were securely around his arm. He gave you a sharp side eye and held your belongings closer to him.
“I got it.”
“Are you-”
“I. got. It.” He said more sternly as you questioned him on his gentleman act. You let him win as you concentrated on walking. You could feel his body heat radiating onto you. Were you really walking that close? No one needs to walk as close as you were to him just now. You side step over a few inches to make sure he doesn't feel like you're on top of him, and from the corner of your eye, you saw that he noticed you move away.
“Anyway, I was thinking about getting something warm to drink...thoughts?” You did mention earlier how you loved the cold and drinking something warm. It's just a coincidence that it's snowing and Levi is craving something hot.
“Well...I walked here, I'm not sure if there's a place to close.” You mutter.
“Hmm, today's your lucky day you worried brat. My car just happens to have a passenger seat.” The gap you made between the two of you closed as his shoulder bumped yours.
“Oh...are you sure?”
“Tch, I may be an asshole but I'm not that much of an asshole.” He huffed out at you.
“You're not an asshole.” You were quick to correct him.
“Is that so?” He questioned you. You nodded, looking over you gave him a small smile. Your heart was fluttering in your chest as you saw his wide eyed expression.
“Probably one of the most selfless people I've met. I mean you haven't even bothered telling me what's on your mind yet.” His heart skipped a beat and his head snapped to you.
“What?” He questioned
You looked at him and gave him a confused awkward laugh.
“Something is bothering you...right?”