Chapter Text
A Storm in the Calm
Snow was falling in the surrounding of Meirchio, a town set next to a volcano. The villagers were hiding while focusing on the scene ongoing in front of them. A giant daemon entered causing chaos, so we fought against it to avoid any further damage in the town.
That monster was in a bad state, trying to get on its feet but failing to keep balance, i could hear clearly the anger mixed with fear it's roars were making.
I was standing in front of its eyes, taking short breaths after that short battle. The rest of my team were behind me, their gaze focused between the daemon and me waiting for my next action.
"You all saved us, thank you!"
"We are alive, you saved our lives!"
"Our heroes, thank you so much!"
"How can we repay you?"
My indifferent face didn't changed at the praise, my cold heart didn't reacted neither. Three years ago, maybe i would loved to hear those words, but reality was far of what these people were expecting.
Releasing a sigh, i move forward to the defeated beast, piercing its gaze with the anger expressed on my amber eyes. I noticed for a little second how the fear dominated it's sense, making my lips grin at it's suffering, as i liked the tip of my under lips looking forward what was coming next, so I raised my voice.
"I have a message for the Abbey's legates." I declared hardening my tone, without compassion. "On the next Scarlet Night, I will offer a sacrifice to Mount Killaraus and strip Innominat of his powers."
I transformed my left arm, with hunger dominating my eyes, prey on sight, "I dare them to try and stop me!" I grabbed the daemon head with forces as I started absorbing it's body, flesh, and soul. A Malevolence aura was surrounding its place, as the creature was shrinking and shrinking until nothing was left, consumed alive.
"She... just ate the daemon with her arm!" I heard coming from behind as horror was forming around the villagers, "She is...!"
I turned around, my gaze filled with anger was enough to petrified all the villagers surrounding us, "I am corruption made flesh!, Velvet, the lord of calamity!"
Dread and anxiety filled all villagers souls as they screamed running away from me, "She's going to eat us, run!" They keep shouting and shouting. Magilou continued to intimidate them with stupid phrases about me until finally the last villager fled from the town.
I released a tired sigh, turning my therion arm back to normal. I knew very well this is how i was acting a long time ago, the simple memory coming back made my chest hurt a little, already aware of not having another choices...
A least everyone who lived here were going to be safe...
----
Hours later, Melissa offered to Phi and I to use the hot springs. I thought it was a good chance for us to relax before the coming battle. I wanted him to keep me company, but Phi refused instantly. Thinking about it now, i treated him like a child again, or like he was Laphi...
Feeling the warm water i was submerge, i stretched my legs and toes as i accommodate my position, this was actually my first visit to a hot spring, "The guys were right, this waters feel so nice..." relaxed, i smiled throwing bits of water over my sore shoulders.
Traveling around sea for months, was nice to have a new sensation like this, comfortably and normally out of my reach.
After all...
My smile disappeared, as i put my gaze on my bandage arm, slowly taking it off as many memories crossed my mind. Just how many life i took with my own hands, how many humans and malakins i consumed just to satiate my uncontrollable hunger. Since the Scarlet night three years ago, it become a vital habit of mine just devour any life that was in front of my eyes.
I could also use my mouth, but with most of the daemons it was more efficient to use my therion arm directly. Any fear and anxiety I had against those beast were gone the moment i become one of them, now they were just snacks for me most of the time, as how they were part of what they served me in my time locked in Titania. Malaks and Human were in that same category for me as well, often being what they throwed to my cell back then, i didn't really cared which one, they were just preys at my eyes.
And even after escape, that part of me hadn't changed.
…
"AGGGHHH!!!!" Shouting with fury, I pierced an abbeys soldier's arm with my wrist blade, following with a strong upper kick on it's chin, throwing him on top of others guards that were planning on take me back to my cell here in Titania.
My therion arm appeared as soon they were at my mercy, smashing their armor like simple clothing with my claws, then proceeded at devour one pushing his chest. Without second doubts, i bite the neck of other soldier collapsed at his side, who was currently unconscious. Sucking his blood with primal desires, i continued until both were left to nothing but flesh and souls in my stomach.
"More..." My lips muttered, as my tongue licked the blood remaining. Another group of soldiers were coming from the long stairs hall, "Come at me idiots! My stomach hasn't enough!" I proceeded at full speed taking down as many of them as possible, destroying their armors, cutting them down with my wrist blade and crushing their bodies using my daemonic claw. Not matter how much i kept consuming, taking the advantage; they were sending more and more trying to stop me.
All the rage I was keeping for three years, was not going to show mercy at my preys...
Reaching Hellawes days later, i decided that the best escape plan was burning the entire city. Families were running away, as soldiers were defending them preparing themselves to attack me.
Grinning with anger i kept killing and killing any exorcist that appeared in front of me, taking their life with my hands, their bodies as snacks, and their tools malaks the same fate as their master. Nothing was going to stop me, i got free from Titania after 3 years of desolation and consumption just for this freedom. The freedom to fight against my brother murderer, I will keep going forward, not matter what.
"She's a beast, don't let her get away!" One of the guards shouted, directing a swing to me as he raised his shield.
"Go to hell, you killed my comrades!" A female soldier continued, preparing an arte using the magic or her Malak.
I didn't cared at their words, using my foot blade to slice their attacks, followed by a stomp on the shield to make him lost balance, and chained it by a direct attack of my wrist blade in the stomach of the female soldier, who was coughing blood. Not having that much time, i used my consuming claws on the malak, who didn't reacted at his reached a horrible fate inside me. Quickly, i continued running forward, followed by Rokurou who fought another bunch of soldiers before.
"CURSE YOU!!!" I heard from behind, but my heart, cold as the ice didn't bothered to react.
…
Releasing my untransformed arm from the bandage, i looked to the malevolence surrounding it like it was skin, simulating my lost limb in its own way, but also tempted to consume any lifeform in a single grab like this. My bandage helps in containing it most of the time, otherwise i would lose myself in the temptation since the start. When i left my cell, the only thing that mattered to me was my revenge, so i controlled any urges of devouring innocent, unless they tried to get on my way.
Not even if whoever got in my way was a teammate, i wouldn't hesitate on took away their life, I will continue this objective to the end
There was nothing i would obtain trying to open myself to others, any trace of feelings, any motivation of helping someone, died when laphi was murdered, and i became a daemon.
"That's why, I even intimidate my teammates lot of times, using them just to obtain what i wanted" I smiled, a little guilty of the memory. I know they had their own reason and motivation for follow me in my journey for revenge. It just that it feels unfair for them to follow someone messed up as the lord of calamity instead of continue their respective life.
At the beginning were just Rokurou and Magilou. I don't had the slightest idea in how both managed to endure keeping my company, with the risk of me wanting to consume the both of them, but i never did. They were strong, and i really needed that kind of help on my quest. Same i would say by Eizen, or Eleanor after she decided to not betray us.
Laphicet joined not that much later after Hellawes, i kidnapped him by reflex after force him to attack the abbey for us to escape. Who would say he was going to become such important person both for my objective, and for myself...
He saved me... but me, I...
A pressure formed on my chest, as my daemon untransformed fingers started to tremble, "Phi..."
…
I grabbed the malak that was resembling my brother with my left hand, piercing his eyes with mine, and hardening my voice, "Use a explosion against the abbey, now! Or I eat you!" My arm was feeling really tempted to devour him whole, but i contained myself in hope that he would listen, there was not other options to escape in that situation. He listened to me without doubts, fearing his life.
In the sea gate, he listened to me like his owner, enduring all of my yells and menaces. It kept me wondering why he was still at my side.
I saved his life when he got distracted, and decided to name him Laphicet... because at the time it reminded me of that Scarlet night...
After we reached Longres and started to work with the bloodwing, as i was resting before going to kill the priest. I had a horrible nightmare...
My hunger was starting to get the better of me, dominating my senses and clouding my thoughts of anything else. I was devouring a human, not holding back my senses, biting his flesh without care, but wanting more. until suddenly, i noticed he was Laphi. The image of his body without some limbs, covered in blood, dirt and my hungry bites on his entire figure was printed on my soul, following me for a lot of days.
"Is Survival at its fitness, an older sister eating her brother's corpse before it goes to waste doesn't go against reason" that familiar voice smiled at me, "Don't hold back Velvet, eat Laphicet"
"No... no... NOOOOOOO"
Waking up of that hell, i lost my entire senses of reality, "The hell with you and your stupid words!!!..." I used my right hand to suffocate whoever i grabbed, i didn't cared, my stomach was empty, my strength decreasing, the hole inside me just hurting my insides, "I'm hungry, so hungry..." my breathing was becoming so constant, desiring to fill my void as soon as possible, releasing my therion arm i grabbed my prey's back, starting to consume his life and without wasting time, i prepared myself to bite his flesh, starting by his shoulders.
"VELVET!!!"
His voice put me back to my senses, almost losing my breath as his little figure appeared clear on my shocked gaze, "What...why..?" i threw him to the floor, taking long steps back, grabbing both my arms and legs containing my instincts as best as possible, "Are you crazy!? Didn't you thought about how dangerous I am for you!? I could..." the memory of my brother's body flashed, "im a, daemon..."
"You were... shouting..."
I looked at him surprised, feeling my eyes heavier, my throat started to suffocate, "No, it can't be" I shook my head and cool my voice, "don't do that, again..."
Laphicet tried to say something, but he limited himself to look down and runaway from me, "I'm sorry!!!"
Without thinking, i extended my arm to his direction, feeling a nod on my throat. But I decided to hold back that feel, nothing good would come of starting to care about him, "I don't deserve it..."
…
I put my arm inside the water, feeling the warm and relaxation more sensitive in the spot, closing my eyes, hiding behind my long strands.
"I almost killed him.." my voice trembled, the corners of my mouths were shaking, "What would had happened if my hunger got the better of me that day? Or, or..."
That first visit to the empire throne that ended in complete failure...
When I forced Laphicet to keep healing me like a tool, not caring about anything but my revenge. Back then, Artorius was beyond my abilities... even so, i kept trying to fight back like the fool i am.
"I should had die there..." My voice muttered without thinking, remembering his worried faces, as my vision was giving up at that moment, "Don't die, Velvet!"
Something inside me cracked, pressing my toes with my fingers, hiding my pressure eyes on my knees, i couldn't cry anymore, not matter how much my chest hurt. An aura of malevolence started to surround me... the total sign of every sin i committed selfishly in this journey.
I did it for Laphi, I told myself a lot of times. The world was unfair to the both of us, that's what made me kept going...
"You're not my sister, you are a monster..." Laphi's response was the end of everything for me.
Lots of memories stormed my mind, all the people I killed, all the humans I devoured, all the cities I destroyed, like a calamity...
I am a monster...
...
There was a nightmare i had few days after we escaped the earthpulse...
Standing alone on a burning village, my Therion arm transformed, my amber eyes full of rage, as my blood was boiling with a mix of anger and hunger. Lots of malevolence aura was surrounding me, more than anything i felt so far.
There was a pile of diverse clothes with remaining blood scattered around the places, the same stain that was on my own body, hair, outfit, arms, and lips.
"Kill... Kill... I'm going to kill everyone, nothing matters anymore..." I said approaching a family trapped against a building, a dead end for them. Fear was everything on their gazes watching me getting close, hugging each other with lost hope, "I will devour all of you... I will devour this entire world..." Using my daemon arm i proceeded with my attack, causing a pair of yells heard in the atmosphere.
"Velvet..." I looked back above my shoulder after finishing my meal, my indifferent expression noticed three serious familiar faces.
Eleanor, Magilou, and Phi...
Yes, i remembered so well... what happened to both Rokurou and Eizen, they're in my belly.
"What do you want?"
"Stop Velvet, do you have idea of what are you doing?!" Laphicet expressed, his face detailed with horror.
"She lost it, that's what's happening" Magilou explained bluntly, with both hands in the back of her head.
"All this families... all this lives, you just consumed them like nothing..." The exorcist couldn't hide the anger and resentment in her usually determined voices.
A sigh escaped from my lips, i proceeded to clean the remaining blood with my tongue before look at them. They gasped, maybe for all the red stain over my body, it was impossible to hide, not like i cared.
"The malevolence..." Laphicet voice's didn't wanted to finish the sentence.
"I'm doing what a Lord of Calamity should do, isn't that right Eleanor?" My cold heartless tone remained intact, almost surprising them, "Families are meaningless, they just fake their love, and stab you're heart when you keep fooling yourself" Laphi and Arthur's smiles appeared on my mind, which I mentally broke apart with my arm, in reality, "and i was hungry. This innocent people support everything those idiots are doing, why I should care about the life's of my own food" a dry laugh escaped my throat, remembering when I doubted killing those Prickleboars.
"That's, not true. Families loves each other, not matter what..." Eleanor tried to defend her point, but she already knew it wasn't going to reach me, fate just threw me like garbage in the darkness.
"Lies, I don't want to hear you..!" My voice grew louder, starting to approach them as my stomach growled wanting more, "You hated me from the start, that's not gonna change even knowing my past, I don't have a reason to believe you, crybaby exorcist!"
Eleanor lowered her head, pressing her spear and with a hand on her chest, "Sorry about that.." I heard her murmuring, before getting back to her fighting stance, with the point of her lance a few meters of my chest, "Even so, doesn't change the fact you killed innocent people, Oscar, Teresa, all those guards from the abby, the villagers... I'm not going to forgive you."
Before i let them do anything, I shouted with all the rage contained in my lungs, as i throw a slash of my therion arm against Eleanor, breaking her spear in the process, and punching her in my grab on the dirt, i savored her pain beneath my palm, tempting me to be more cruel.
A few centimeters at my right, Laphicet remained static, just looking at me heartbroken and trails of tears on his cheeks, "You're not like this Velvet..."
I hardened my expression, starting to consume Eleanor whole with my arm, who was yelling in despair, with the fatal bite on her chest, "I was always like this... nothing changed..."
Before he could say anything I grabbed his arm with my right hand and pressed him against myself, in what looks like a hug, with my face pressed against his neck, i couldn't contain myself as i bite him, he shouted in pain as i sucked his whole energy, and draining his blood.
"Velvet..." he hugged me despite what i was doing, slowly fainting. Even with my malevolence starting to get him, Phi would be long gone before the chance of turning into a dragon.
Eleanor was trying to escape from my arm, but my inhuman strength was too much for her, as she continued shrinking in the consumption, "Velvet... Laphicet" she extended an arm to me, before sleeping one last time.
Magilou just kept herself standing there, not even trying to save them from me, she would normally said she didn't cared and laugh of the situation. But she was just looking me with a serious expression.
Like she already knew my question, she answered, "You already broke beyond salvation, is not even funny watch you struggling anymore. So, why are you in pain?"
I stood on my feet after finishing eating, there were just the two of us right now, not a single trace of Laphicet and his vessel were left.
"My life is just pain... that's just who Velvet Crowe is..." She released an uninterested sigh, no even with fear as i approached, "I'm not going to stop, I will kill Artorius, I will devour Laphi, then keep consuming this horrible world until the day i die..." I grabbed Magilou with my Therion arm, pushing her harshly against the floor.
"Then... a least don't cry if you're really a monster..."
That was everything she said before i ate her whole.
I stood on my feet, looking around the continued destruction, this time truly alone in the hell i caused, "As i said... nothing changed..."
...
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." my trembling voices tried to keep saying those words, until it faded in little murmurs. I almost lost my entire control in the earthpulse, convincing myself of anything to put away my pain, shouting what I wanted to believe, almost completely gone in my despair. Since then, my mind was keep wondering what would be of me if i went outside in that state...
That nightmare was just one of the many possibilities that tormented my mind.
The betrayal of both Arthur, and Laphi still haunts me to this day, even if i was capable of recover part of my will. It was impossible for my heart to just let go and accept.
I loved my family... no, I still love them so much, why they left me behind? Was my love not enough? Was just meaningless? I was a bad Sister? I bothered them all this time? Whatever was the reason, was impossible for us to go back. It just ended with the cold Sherperd Artorius, the god innominat Laphi, and this horrible beast i am now, Velvet the lord of calamity.
A single realization punched my crying heart, obvious to me since a few days ago... Since the start, my meaningless vengeance was everything i needed to get done.
Nothing was left for me, no one would wait for me...
This world, would never going to be better...
As long I'm in it...
----
The stars were brightly showing in this calm night, as i faced it across the closed window. How long has it been since i was in such calm place? Maybe not too long ago, just the first one since the moment i found my resolve a few days back.
I calmed down after taking my time lost in my thoughts before leaving the bath, noticing Laphicet waiting for me, with a towel on his hair. The Both of us were using light robes borrowed from the Inn. He looked at me worried, maybe for the malevolence i was emanating. I decided to smile, with hopes to him a least be at peace for this moment.
I don't know if i succeeded, but a least we chatted about our baths, curious about how different his side was to mine, though his face became red for some reason. I thought of bruising my long black hair, offering Phi to give me assistance. It was not hard to notice his curiosity before when i bruised my hair each night in the van etia or in the different Inns, so why not gave him a chance?
He accepted, even with my warning of the malevolence growing around me.
"You know, you have a beautiful hair, Velvet!"
I hear from his Innocent voice behind me, feeling his hands on my long traits as he was using the comb my brother gave me to bruise it. I smiled at the compliment, nostalgic to hear it again. Phi... the malak that become a huge and important person in my current life.
Closing my eyes, pressing my fingers on the underdress i was wearing, a certain memory came out to my mind. My brother Laphicet sit down on the woods, stretching his arm to me just to gave me that comb, "You have a beautiful hair sister, you should keep taking care of it"...
My smile faded, that was the same day we both got attacked by a daemon that almost ended our life, a moment that made my brother felt even more powerless.
"Why it came out to this?"
Artorius used my brother to awake Innominat, making this god take the form of him, including his memories. All this time i believed Laphi was dead, it destroyed my entire will discover he was that god now. As much i would like to think he was being manipulated by the god, he still agreed to be part of him, for the sake of a better world, a world where i could be happy...
A world that thanks to me, would never exist...
Everything i did so far, every single atrocity i make was to avenge him. Ever since i got my Therion power, i wanted to do anything possible to just kill Artorius not matter what, consumed by my own rage and despair... a total meaningless act. One that would erase what was left of myself...
I became a beast with the selfish desire of just completing my vengeance, not caring of the world around me, or even those closer to me. I was just a hungry predator toying with her preys, menacing everyone who was useless to me with rage and disinterest.
I really didn't deserved anyone support... and yet, I had allies that decided to stick to my side to the final battle.
The back of my eyes started to felt heavier, my hands were trembling. I forced a smile to stop this feeling, i had not right to be depressed...
"Laphi said the same thing to me..." I responded a bit later, noticing his surprise, "he wanted me to take good care of it... that's why, he bought me the comb"
"I see, well i guess this time I agreed with him" he said smiling slightly, though I noticed a bit of resentment in his voice.
Phi was always worried about me, since i started to encourage him to be more expressive and human. I always thought about him as his own person, it just that the similarities with my brother were too alike for my broken heart to ignore.
"You're full of life, Velvet. Eat my arm, i don't mind. Just left me the other one so i can punch that idiot who hurt my Velvet!"
Despite all the awful things I did, despite every tragedy provoked by me, and all the anger I released on him, he still accepted me for who I was. No, he accepted everything I actually was.
He was a big reason why I was here right now, after a bath, letting him bruise my long black hair.
If it wasn't for him, I would probably be going around attacking villages, devouring people, and conquering the world blinded by my desire of revenge, consumed by the despair of betrayal clouding my heart.
A despair that wouldn't ever leave my chest....
"You know Velvet..." Phi stopped my thoughts, he seemed a bit hesitated of his next words, "If i could learn how to properly use my power... i can, make you human again", he explained, caressing my hair. I noticed how much he wanted me to hear it.
"A human, huh..." my mouth muttered, not feeling like forming a smile. My toes tapped the warm floor, before clenching on my soles, "After all of this ends, I would like to cook for you everyday. My quiches are much better than anything they serve in stores", a voice that came from my mouth said, excited of living that kind of future, a deserved happiness from any adventurer who saved the world after a difficult journey.
"I would love that! I love your cooking Velvet. Then i fetch the water and cut firewood!"
"All by yourself?"
"Of course! I will growth taller soon, and get more stronger as well!" Laphicet added excited, hear him talk about his aspirations alongside me warmed my heart, I thought for a long time no one would feel that way about me anymore.
"I know you will..."
If only I...
"Great! Then First i need to find a way to master the..."
"Don't... do it"
"Huh, Velvet?"
My hands were trembling, my legs shaking, my feet with no place to stand firm. I lowered my face, feeling my bangs covering my eyes, as my hands formed a fist. I could feel the vast amount of malevolence surrounding me. I just happened to notice a bit ago, but this was indeed, the same as that daemonic dragon, or stronger.
"It's too late... I made too many sacrifices. I killed too many to ever come back... I can't" despite my trembling voice becoming weak, I kept talking, "Worse, I haven't stopped. I'm willing to sacrifice anyone to keep going forward..." Even since the sacrifices of my brother, everything in this world was alright for everyone, until that fateful day certain beast was uncaged, "If we kill Innominat, what will happen to the therions that are part of him? Did will go back to normal?..." my breathing was slow after that sentence.
"Well..."
"It's likely they all die, I know it..." I watched my both hands, "I dug my own grave, but what about Kamoana and Medissa" I looked back to his arm, not letting him see my expression, neither could i saw his, "And what will happen to you Phi... you're part of him."
He didn't answered, or even seemed surprised. Something tells me he already knew. Phi deserves to keep living his life, is too soon for him to go away.
I felt the pressure of my eyes growing stronger, yet not tears came from it, Why It needs to be like this... why it can't be just me?, "I know I might die if i continue through this, but still, I have to do it... Even if that means sacrifice everyone I know, Including you, who saved me...
"But, Velvet...--"
"Don't console me... please, don't..." my voice released a slight weak noise. I was angry, angry at myself for everything I did, and I was about to do, I already said i don't care how much the world would blame me for everything, or growing their fear to me. But all the others who helped me didn't deserved this horrible fate. Still, I... "The Lord of Calamity is not a powerful Daemon Lord... she's just a Selfish, horrible girl..." the malevolence surrounding me grew stronger, at some point i would become a real natural disaster...
I acted according to my emotions, ignoring any reason. My love for my family was betrayed, leaving a bleeding wound inside me, all the entire country supported Artorius and his methods, ignorance was the best for them, he saved the world through their eyes. They wouldn't care if that meant ruining the rest of my life... It was an inevitable outcome.
Since my sister died, Arthur went with her, since my brother started to feel like an bother, he sacrificed himself for me.
A future impossible to prevent... Where i became a therion, throwed into a prison, devouring any daemon, or person offered to me, losing my regular sense of taste, and obtaining stronger need for flesh and blood. Even if Artorius made me like this, it was me who shaped herself as the Lord of Calamity at the end.
Nothing left for me remained, I was just an empty husk finishing what i started, there was not future for me in this world... Velvet Crowe died in that Scarlet Night.
With my gaze lowered, looking at my feet. Another two pair appeared in front of me, surprising me; I looked at him without changing my expression, no a single tear, but my sniff and trembling eyebrows revealed how my chest was hurting.
"There's something i want to confess..." Phi said, abruptly stopping my thoughts. His slight smile became serious, "I don't like being called Phi, I really don't. It's too childish."
"Wh--What?!" I didn't expected that at all, feeling the Malevolence going away, by my shock "Laphi said the same thing to me..." , remembering when i thought about his nickname, I lowered my gaze to my lap.
"I'm sure he did, you really don't understand boy's at all"
"Why you didn't told me, Laphicet..." I could had selected something more to his liking.
"Because for the first time, you called to me, and no your brother" the shine of his smile remained, so pure, so Innocent, but also really thoughtful, "You were worried about the fuss i was making, so you hear me out and decided to understand how I felt."
I made a weak smile in return, understanding his reason, making my guilty mind go away. Is true i never put too much thought in that nickname, but at the end, Phi was always gonna be Phi in my mind.
"You really get worked out about little things," I laughed remembering every time he did, including one were he almost tried to defend me in an argument, which I stopped before it went worse.
He offered me the comb back, he probably finished my hair as I vented all of that. I took it in a slow movement, it was not just my remaining memory of my brother, it was a symbol of how much Phi and I grew closer... thinking back to when I told him to not touch it, I felt a stab on my chest.
"It's ok, I forgive you."
A sudden beat was missed in my heart, as it turned into a cold sensation right away... I was glad to hear it, even aware of don't deserve his forgiveness. I almost killed him, I almost devoured him, and yet, he wanted to support this failure of human being.
"And Velvet..." he took one of my hands with two of his, taking me by surprise. He slightly caressed my fingers with his thumb, "I want you, to live"
I half opened my lips, lowering my gaze to my knees, memories flowing in my mind once again, remembering the monster I was. I tried to quickly put away my hand from him, to avoid infect him with my aura, but he refused to let me go, "Laphicet... I can't promise that"
"Why not?" His eyebrows lowered, "Your doing everything to save this world, even if you consider yourself a calamity, for me, you deserve happiness."
"I don't deserve to be happy..." I muttered, all my hopes and dreams were sealed a long time ago, "I killed too much people, I ate them without a second thought, just like any wild animal," I looked again to his eyes, "How someone evil as me can be happy?!" Harshening my voice a bit, i felt my hand were putting more pressure in his, a slight bit of Malevolence was starting to go on him, but before i tried to let go again, it just disappeared.
He just kept smiling looking at me, "You do Velvet" his silver flames were erasing part of my endless malevolence, a gasp escaped from me, You really grew, Phi "Do you remember when I told you to stop Whining? Please, hear me again..."
I kept silent waiting for his words, honestly, all my hopes were already gone. Even if there was a chance of me surviving, i didn't think it would be possible. Not just for Innominat, for the safety of the entire future, i didn't deserve it.
"You killed because you were angry, you cared so much for the life that you lost, giving you the strength to go that far to show how much you wanted it back. I remember how happy you were in Aball, even if everything was fake, I know that side of you was your real personality... a least before what happened" he explained, pressing my fingers with a bit more forces.
I closed my eyes, feeling the wound of my heart grew again. I was fooled, and almost let myself be happy with a dream that would never come true, even if it was, I couldn't just left behind all the atrocities I did... soon or later, the shame and guilt would ate me... I can't go back to be like that, my happiness was stolen, betrayed, throwed away, just what Phi thinks would solve that?
"You hate them because you cared so much of everything they took away from you, you told me how much you loved Arthur, Celica, and Laphi. So you feel betrayed, that's why I think, you really had a reason for get a second chance..." Phi started to tremble, but he kept his calm face. My gaze was serious this time, containing myself of getting angry, I wanted to let him finish before explode. "They're at fault Velvet, I'm sure you would never agreed to their methods even if you were at their side. There wasn't another choice for us than keep going trying everything to stop Innominat, so please Velvet... stop blaming yourself for doing the right thing, stop thinking you were the only one a fault..."
"Phi... I" My voice was caught in my throat, I wanted to yell at him, but also I didn't, so i contained my anger, "It was my own choice, Im the one who decided in put this world in danger... I'm the one who murdered everyone in Aball, the one who devoured those soldiers, Oscar, Teresa without pity or compassion... the daemon who ruined so many life... how... I could live with everything I don--
"Shut up, Velvet!!!"
His sudden shout and change in tone stopped my voice, shocked by him being the one who was angry.
"Did you even listened to what I said? You're the victim here! You're not a monster, If you really were, then why you felt so much hatred and anger for Artorius in our journey?! Neither Rokurou, Dyle, or Kurogane felt something close to that..." he put his other hand on my shoulder. I straightened my posture not knowing how to respond, "If you really willing to make those sacrifices, then why are you worried about Kamoana, Medissa, and me? You wouldn't said something otherwise! I know you eat any daemon or person without compassion, even that night I almost ended in your stomach... but that's just a natural thing for who you are right now, thanks to Laphi's decision! Besides, You stopped yourself despite your hunger, Im alive Velvet, thanks to you..."
Tears started to come from his eyes, my lips trembled trying to say something, but as my eyes felt pressure as well, I shook my head quickly, recovering my composure.
"What are you saying?! Even if that's true, what's done is done. I committed too many sin, they keep piling up, Im not innocent, not a good person!" Looking to my side, I hugged my own arm, hating myself for being so selfish, so corrupted in my thoughts, "I don't deserve... I don't deserve your pity... why, why you worry about me? Im just a horrible girl, my entire existence just brings trouble to everyone close to me, I was the Lord of calamity, from the very start."
Celica died trying to protect us, Laphicet sacrificed himself wanting world peace for me, and so on, all the chaos I caused in this journey, I deserve everyone's hate...
"Then I'm willing to hate the entire world who will keep misunderstanding you the rest of my life!" He answered back, again making me silent, it wasn't a answer I expected from him, "Don't say I feel pity for you, I'm not Rokurou, neither Eizen to just let you keep suffering on your own, I don't want you to break either, that's why I told you how full of life and important you are for me!" Feeling a Warm sensation in my chest for the first time in forever, I looked at him in the eyes, he was crying, refusing to let his voice broke in this important moment, "Velvet, I want to save you because I love you, your my big sister, almost like my mother. You gave me a name, cooked for me, teach me a lot about life, showed me how neither good and evil are right... I don't want to be in a world without you, so please Velvet, please... don't say you don't deserve to live..."
"Laphicet... Phi... Ah...AHHHHH!!" With the pressure in both my head and chest consuming me, I shouted in agony with all my lungs, as I hugged him landing on top of him in the floor, feeling my tears finally coming out after a really long time bottling up inside my heart, "It hurts... It hurts so much!", There was not trace of malevolence going to him, instead, Phi was negating it with his Silver flame.
He hugged me back, still with sobs in his voice, "It's alright Velvet, everything you felt, what are you feeling now, it's proof that you are alive..."
Celica appeared in my mind, this malak previous life mom...
"I'm alive..." I pressed him against my arms, letting out my tears, and the pain in my heart reflected on my voice, "Why I'm alive?!… I don't deserve it! Why my family left me behind? They really hated me that much? Why... WHY?! I become a murderer, a beast, I enjoy devouring people!!..." I kept shouting everything I hide on my chest, what was on my mind this night, how much I hated being a monster, how much I despised lost my life. Cursing the entire world for make me The Lord of Calamity.
I just wanted to keep living in Aball with Arthur and Laphi, making memories with Niko, maybe fall in love in a few years with a good man, have a big happy family with everyone, be a mother my kids would like to rely and feel safe, love my special someone with all my being, and keep living to my last day thinking, "I was happy, with my life", closing my eyes with a big smile on my face...
Why I lost that chance..?
What I did to deserve this fate..?
Why the world was so cruel with me?
Why, just Why...
"You deserve to live, Velvet..." Phi said again after I stopped venting, crying in silence, with my chin over his shoulder. I Stood on my barefeet to sit again on the sofa, without breaking this hug, I was feeling safe, despite being me who was surrounding him in her arms, protecting him of any danger.
"Why...?" He gently pushed me away to look at my eyes, noticing just how much of a mess my face become. My voice still trembled, but finally after too much pain in my chest...
"Because I know how warm you are, and how much you want to love, so please, I want you to Live..."
Failing to stop my tears, we kept our gaze focused on each other's, a nod on my throat didn't wanted to go away. Phi all this time was always focused on me, not matter how much he feared me, or how much I hurt him... As for now, he really want me to stay at his side, we are both immortal, so there wouldn't be a problem normally, being Innominat our only obstacle.
I lowered my face, pressing my lips not finding the words, so I nodded at him instead, my trembled arms still on his shoulders, "I just took a bath Laphicet, now I need to wash my face again."
He just smiled, maybe understanding that was enough expressing how I felt
A slight light of hope, from his flames was recovered in my heart...
"Thank you... Laphicet"
To be continue ...