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Shuichi Saihara missed his boyfriend dearly.
However, when he stood above his grave, he felt nothing but slight adoration. He didn't feel sadness, he didn't feel guilty, he didn't feel lonely, maybe it was because thoughts had already been ingrained in his brain..
He knew Kokichi, wherever he was now, he would stir up trouble wherever he went. He didn't feel the need to be guilty about that, about how Kokichi committed suicide. Hell, it was a long time coming, they both knew it would happen eventually. Seeing his body the first time, of course, was a different story, but Shuichi got over it quickly when he found out it was a suicide.
It was gruesome for the whole department to have to settle for the lover to investigate his own lovers death by suicide, and they were bewildered when Shuichi didn't seem sad writing up the paperwork.
He just couldn't feel sad.
It wasn't his fault, and he did try his best to help Kokichi feel better. Sometimes, it just doesn't work, and he understood that, some things can never be reversed. It was better for the both of them for Kokichi to be let go of, Kokichi made sure to get that point across and especially emphasize how much Kokichi loved him in his letter.
He knew Kokichi loved him, he didn't need the letter, and Shuichi was sure he'd love Kokichi back until it was his time to go as well. He tried, he really did, but after many heart to hearts, they knew things may just not work out while they were alive.
Sitting down besides his boyfriends grave, he messed with the tombstone, talking to himself about all the crazy, stupid things people have done today, and maybe a few the day before when he couldn't visit. He hoped Kokichi was listening and laughing right beside him, like they used to back in highschool, like how they did a few days before he died. He liked that day, they had pasta for dinner.
He didn't feel sad, sitting on top of his lovers rotting corpse that was stuffed hastily inside of a fancy casket. He felt hope, perhaps the bubbling urge to follow him, see what was so great about the after life. He loved his boyfriend enough to do that, he always was crazy enough, surely. He had stayed around this long.
Some things last even after death. Some things just never really die. Shuichi's hope hadn't died, and maybe it didn't have to.
Kokichis bouncy spirit, however invisible to the mortal world, invisible to his boyfriend, was laughing beside him at the stories he was still being told. Touching, grasping, playing with the real boy he still called his, who was completely oblivious to everything he was doing.
He didn't miss the mortal world, not the slightest, but he did miss his boyfriend being able to hold him back. It's okay though, his boyfriend made sure to always visit when Kokichi said to on the letter. Shuichi kept promises.
Besides, sometimes he saw his boyfriend writing his own note at home. It made him a little sick, but he couldn't stop him, and maybe he was selfish enough to say that he did want his only source of happiness to truly be with him again.
After a few months of floating around, seeing his boyfriends corpse was shocking, seeing it when he followed him home. It was terrifying. Emotions flower through him, what the hell happened, who did this? Why would they do this? He didn't understand, where was he, did something–
Kokichi suddenly felt the worries drown out when he felt nearly soft arms wrap around him. Spirits could touch each other, but not the mortal world. Only the spiritual realm, that's where they could exist, in harmony away from the real world.
Someone laughed in his ear, he laughed back.
"Hello love, I missed you."
"Shuichi, you dimwit, you didn't have to kill yourself, you had plenty of time."
"Maybe I didn't want the time? Besides, I didn't want my ghost to be all old and wrinkly when I saw you."
"You're so stupid. Whatever, I missed you too, come on, I'm as close to the grim reaper as you can get. I can move on now."
"What are the magic words?"
"Ugh, still clingy even when we're dead. I love you, now let's get going before we fade away."
"W-We can do that??"