Chapter Text
Nancy has long since realized that answers are something to search for, something she can always count on herself to find. If the truth is something hidden, the easy solution is to uncover it. Always knowing the exact truth turned her faithful, a sort of religion in which she always believes in herself to solve any unsolvable equation. For a long time she thought the only thing she needed was herself and the truth.
And the truth is the only thing in her mind as she drives to Ace’s house. She’s always been analytical, thinking before feeling, but right now that isn’t true. It’s odd, she thinks, to feel butterflies in one's stomach for the first time at 19. Odd to be feeling the things every school-girl crush is supposed to make you feel only now, only for him. But he feels like the first. The truth settles into her calmly: this is a first.
When Nancy arrives at his house, she schools her face, even as everything inside of her is at an upheaval. She’s standing in front of his door, cheeks flushed, heart pounding. She’s just a girl in love for the first time. Then Rebecca comes from behind a bush and lets Nancy know that Ace is gone, gone on a road trip with Amanda. The world comes to a halt.
She might be a girl ready to love him fully, but he cannot accept that. He has a girlfriend. He has found his happiness elsewhere and, in her rush to finally allow herself to love someone, she had forgotten that.
As Nancy walks away from Ace’s house, no love confession having been made, she begins to miss the simple, old days because now, she realizes, the truth isn’t the most important thing:Ace’s happiness is. And so if she has to bury her truth, deep down, in a way she promised herself she would no longer do, then she’ll do exactly that.
She used to stay up wondering when she would find an elusive limit, a riddle she cracked in which afterwards she could say, “Okay. This is enough searching and solving.” Now, she knows that love is that riddle.
But then Ace comes back from his road trip. Nancy begins to understand that opening up, even if it was just her admitting her feelings to herself, means it’s no longer so easy to hide it all away. Because it exists, and it’s real, and it will no longer be shoved aside. She can’t help the way her body turns to him when he’s near, the way she is fine-tuned to any sound he makes, the way her skin remembers every brush against his own. And it’s all the same things she used to do, but it's as if someone turned the dial all the way up, because it’s somehow all so much more now.
Every moment around Ace threatens to burn Nancy inside out, in a way that the sun never could. If she’s being honest with herself, the real reason she’s being so tormented is because of the hope she allows to grow inside of her. Maybe, maybe, maybe. She wonders when she’s going to run out of maybes.
They dance around one another at The Claw, Ace his usually lingering self, Nancy now fast-moving or else she’ll succumb to temptation of telling him all the words tucked away between her heart and soul.
He appears behind her now, as she fixes her apron in front of her locker. She hears him as he comes up to his own locker, but he’s distracted, eyes trained on his phone.
And she can never stop herself from reaching out. “Everything okay?”
He glances up at her, giving her a quick nod before his attention returns back down. “Just figuring out something—plans for later.”
Not with Amanda, and Nancy knows this because his girlfriend is still hiking some mountain or another. Curiosity wriggles within Nancy, but she shoves it down. It’s not her place to ask. She doesn’t get to be privy to all the details of his life, no matter how badly she wants to be. And she does want, so badly—to know which detergent he uses, to know what his favorite road trip song is, to know which side of the bed he sleeps on. To have the right to know.
“And,” Ace’s voice brings her back to reality. “Everything okay with you?”
Nancy stares forward for a moment, wanting to tell him no, nothing is okay because she loves him and he isn’t hers and she’s still struggling with the aftermath of the Wraith, and yes, she is strong enough, but can she lean on him, just a bit? She nods back. “Why wouldn’t things be okay?”
It’s not an answer and he knows it because his eyebrows furrow. He looks ready to ask more, not to press, but to gently coax some truth from her.
She shakes her head. “Everyone has some bad days, right?” Her eyes plead with him not to say anything else.
Ace understands her, because he always does. Giving her a soft smile, he bumps his shoulder into hers. “Anything I can do to make it better?”
And how can she tell him that he makes everything good, makes everything right just by existing?
“You can take the trash out for me today?” The request is light-hearted, and he sees it for what it is.
“Anything for you, Nancy.” His voice is low when he speaks, and his eyes are warm like that first summer night.
Nancy knows she should leave then, but she brushes her hand against his shoulder, a familiar movement between the two of them, before she goes. “Thank you.” She shares a glance with him one last time before walking away.
Throughout her shift, Nancy begins to stare and she’s aware of it, but she can’t tear her eyes away. She can’t touch Ace like she wants to, can’t say all the things threatening to fall from her lips, so she grants herself this small reprieve. He’s smiling at some story George is telling now, then he’s laughing, the sound bringing a flush to Nancy’s cheeks as his hair falls into his face. Her fingers itch to brush it away, remembering how soft it is, and so she fists her hands.
Her eyes memorize the slope of his nose, the curve of his mouth, the way his eyes crinkle when he’s happy, and she knows she will dream about it later. She wishes she could stop doing that. It always makes the constant ache in her chest so much worse to wake up and know the confessions of love and their fulfilling touches were just something her mind made up. Then she has to face a reality where she can’t do anything more than look.
Maybe she should stop it all. Maybe it would be better to push her feelings away, to move on, but she won’t. Her feelings for Ace are the best choice she’s ever made. More than that, it’s nice to know at least one person loves him like he deserves, because she knows that even with her still-healing soul she loves him the way he deserves, with everything she has.
Ace glances her way and she quickly turns away, busying herself with the broomstick in her hands. But she can feel him. She slowly lifts her head. He’s looking at her now. Maybe other people can just look at one another and it’s inconspicuous, a mundane thing, but when Ace turns his attention on Nancy, it is always unconstrained, an intimate act that has no business being described as such. He stares like he can see right into her, through skin and bones, into who she truly is. Even when she is lost, he knows who she is and always leads her back home.
He gives her a smile. She can’t help but smile back. It’s that helplessness that kills. She can do nothing but love him, nothing but take every little thing he offers and give it all back to him twice-over.
“Have you seen this?”
Nancy spins around to see Bess standing there, eyes trained on her phone and a slight frown on her face.
“Have I seen what?” Nancy steps closer to see what her friend is staring at so intently.
“A new mystery, I think.”
They both stare down at the phone. Bess has twitter opened, and a new string informs of an abandoned house on the edge of town where mysterious noises have been coming from and a strange tuxedo-clad man has been seen.
“Hmm…is there anything else?” Nancy peers closer.
“Yes, uh,” Bess makes a few rapid clicks before pulling up an article. A girl their age had gone missing and was last seen spotted about ten minutes walking distance from the house. According to some sources, the girl had been sleepwalking and having dreams about a dead bride.
Bess continues. “Do you think the groom could be the ghost? A bride, a man in a tuxedo…it would add up, wouldn’t it?”
Nodding, Nancy begins walking to the other room. “I think you’re onto something.”
Bess follows with a smile on her face. “I knew it!"
When Ace catches the look on Nancy’s face he walks over to them. “There’s a new mystery.”
Nancy raises an eyebrow at Bess. “You told him already?”
But it’s Ace who answers, shaking his head. “You had your First Clue face on.”
Nancy blinks. “My what?”
With a sheepish smile, he shrugs. “It’s the face you make at the start of a mystery, when you’re putting it all together.”
“I didn’t know I had particular faces for those things.” Nancy murmurs, a slight flush coloring her cheek that is only deepened when Bess chimes in.
“I always thought you had just the one face you make when you’re putting things together, Nancy.” Bess gives a mischievous smile. “How many faces do I have during our mysteries, Ace? As my platanchor, you should know that.”
Ace runs a hand through his hair. “You have—well, there’s the one…”
Nancy watches with an undeniable pleasure as he begins to turn red as well. She interrupts his fumbling before he can say the truth they all already know: he only knows Nancy’s faces. It’s too much for her to think about now, so she focuses on the case.
“The mystery,” Nancy leads them over to Nick and George who stop what they’re doing to listen. “Is that of a missing girl. And a possible ghost bride and groom. To be determined.”
“And I put that together!” Bess smiles and high fives Ace, who is smiling just as widely as she is.
“Yes, you did,” Nancy turns to survey the group. “George, Nick, you guys can go ask the family and friends if there’s anything else we need to know. Bess and Ace, head to the historical society and see if there’s anything about a married ghost couple. I’ll head over to the house in question and investigate.”
“I want to go to the ghost house,” Bess pouts.
Ace steps forward, too. “So do I. Besides, it could be dangerous. You shouldn’t go alone.”
“Okay,” George rolls her eyes. “You three go to the ghost house, Nick will go question the family and friends, and I will join him after asking Hannah if she knows anything about this. Sound good?”
“Yup,” Ace nods.
“Sounds marvelous,” Bess practically skips to the locker room.
Nick smiles. “Perfect plan.” Ace turns and walks over to the table he’d formerly been sitting at working on his laptop.
George claps her hands together. “Just like settling fights between my sisters. Stop them before they even start.”
Nancy sighs as she is left there alone with Ace.
He gives her a thumbs up. “Ready for the ghost house?”
An hour later, Florence pulls up to the ghost house. Nancy internally chides herself. Just a house—they don’t know that there’s any ghosts here. Not yet, at least. But judging from the looks of it, there very well could be.
The exterior is crumbling, a faded beige shade of its former pure white. Vines wrap up the walls and into broken windows, and those same dirty windows streaked with mud show a dusty and moldy house within. Long, wild weeds surround the house.
Bess moves in the back seat, her head popping in between Nancy and Ace. “I know I said I wanted to come, but now I can’t quite remember why.” Her face contorts into an expression of disgust. “I didn’t realize how…old it would be.”
“Oh, come on,” Nancy smiles brightly. “It’ll be fun.” Ace gives her a smile back, one that says he agrees, that he likes doing this too. Flushed, she gets out of the car quickly, Ace emerging from the other side.
Bess grumbles something under her breath that sounds a lot like, “Well, we clearly have very different definitions of fun,” before following them.
Clicking her flashlight on, Nancy makes her way forward, Ace right behind her, and Bess behind him. The front door lock is broken so they make their way in.
The house looks much creepier inside than it had outside. Spiderwebs hang from the ceilings and along the corners of the wall, decorating the rooms like lace on a dress. But that is the only nice comparison that can be made because the place had clearly been trashed. Stuffing is ripped from the couch cushions, the wallpaper hangs in strips, and dead bugs crunch under their feet as they move through the house. Most noticeable, though, is the red, bold graffiti that covers the wall, repeated over and over.
Ace steps next to Nance. “What does ‘And Even After Death’ mean?”
She pulls out her phone and quickly snaps a picture. “I don’t know yet,” she murmurs as she narrows her eyes at the phrase on the wall.
Bess lets out a yelp and both Ace and Nancy turn to look at her. With a nervous giggle, Bess waves a hand. “Just a mouse.”
With a sigh, Nancy turns and looks around the room. It’s an ordinary living room, ordinary for the 1960s at least, if the dated furniture is any indication. There doesn’t seem to be much to look for here, so she heads upstairs, deciding to work from the top down.
“I’m going up there,” she announces. “You two look around down here.”
“Call if you need me,” Ace replies, and Nancy nods her head, knowing he’s looking at her. His words chase her up the stairs, because she does need him, all the time, but that’s not what he means.
She takes the first right, and switches gears in her mind, pushing away thoughts of Ace and focusing on the mystery at hand. The wooden floorboards creak as she walks and she can faintly hear her friends speaking downstairs as well as the whistling wind coming in through the windows. Then—from down the hall, a faint rustling sound.
It could be a mouse or some other small animal. But it could also be the missing person, could also be a ghost. Nancy continues down the hall, eyes darting to each closed door. Her gaze lands on the one at the knob belonging to the last door on the right, the only knob that isn’t covered in dust. She takes the last few steps to it and sees a faint thumbprint left there. Pulling out her phone, she snaps another picture of it.
Then she pushes the door open. It slowly swings open, the squeaky hinges so loud in the empty space that she would’ve cringed if she wasn’t used to similar situations. She studies the room. It’s a bedroom, same dated furniture as downstairs, but more frozen in time than anything she’d ever seen before. There’s no dust in this room, nothing to indicate that a single day has passed since it was last occupied. Nothing disturbed, taken from its place.
She takes a step back and opens the door across the hall. The room is just as dirty as the rest of the house, drawers opened, mattress bare of bedding, floral wallpaper ripped from the wall. Nancy turns back to the other room.
A man is standing there in a suit, his back to her, but she can tell everything about this is wrong. He turns and looks at her and she freezes. His body is bloated, hue close to blue, and his skin hangs off him in so many places, peeling away to reveal the bone beneath. His eyes bulge from their sockets, bloodshot and horrifying. And though she has dealt with her fair share of corpses and ghosts, she still lets out a scream as he begins to move towards her. She turns and begins running down the hall, the man’s heavy footsteps following her closely, and she can hear the wet sound slap against the grown.
She can hear Ace and Bess shouting for her, can hear one of them, probably Ace, being to race to her.
“No, get out,” Nancy shouts back, as she runs down the stairs. “He’s right behind me.”
She has just made it down the last step, when someone grabs her. She screams again, tries to pull away, before she processes the familiar scent and the warmth and the callused hand cupping over her cheek.
She stays in Ace’s arms for a moment before they both pull back abruptly. His hands hover in the air between them, nearly touching her arms before she takes another step back. His arms fall back to his side.
“You okay?” His voice is soft, and his eyes search her face and body, something desperate in them.
She gives a small nod, lets him see it in her eyes as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “It, uh…I wasn’t expecting to see that.”
His body tilts towards her, and she thinks maybe he could block out all the ugliness of the world. She has never been the kind of girl to need shielding, but for a moment she wants him to protect her, just a little bit, just from some stuff. Though, more than that, she just wants him by her side through it all, because she knows that nothing could break them and break them apart when they are together.
He asks, “What did you see?”
“Not to interrupt, but could we maybe just exit the creepy house and then do the questioning when we’re all safe?” Bess is at the entrance, watching the two of them with a mixture of concern and slight interest on her face.
Nancy turns back to the stairs. “Not yet.”
“Nancy, did you miss the part where you ran screaming from upstairs? Why ‘not yet’?” With a glance towards Ace as if asking for help, Bess shakes her head as an incredulous expression crosses her face.
“Yeah, Nance, maybe we could come back later. When we know more about the place and are more prepared,” Ace suggests.
And it’s his words that have Nancy rushing up the stairs, back to danger, and away from the intimate tone he used in his nickname to her, the nickname he’d never used before but sounded all too familiar falling from his lips. She has no choice here, nothing to do but run, because everything about what just happened pulls her closer to him, like a moth to a fire, unaware the bright light is a danger until it’s too late.
“I’ll be right back. Don’t worry,” Nancy calls over her shoulder. She hears Bess groan and Ace let out a curse before she rounds the corner. There is no one there. She makes her way down the hall slowly but surely before only being a few steps from the bedroom door.
Downstairs, the front door opens and shuts and she whirls to see who has entered, or worse, who has left, only to see Ace walking to her.
She narrows her eyes at him. “What are you doing here?”
He gives her a helpless look, eyebrows furrowed. “If you want to solve dangerous mysteries that can get you hurt, then I’m going to be right by your side.”
She takes a step back, the proximity making it hard to resist crossing the space between them. “But then you’ll get hurt too.”
“That’ll happen either way. Every time something happens to you, it happens to me too.”
Ace’s voice wavers as he speaks and there is an emotion in his eyes that she’s seen before, when she got caught on that burning bus and when she was dying from the wraith and every single time he warned her to be cautious and she still went off in pursuit of some truth.
And she can’t do anything but take the steps to him, hands hovering in the air because she’s now unsure where she can touch him. Their once casual gestures that were never really casual have revealed their truth to her and she isn’t sure what part of him she can have without it crossing a line.
Nancy fists her hands and meets his gaze, letting the honesty show through. “Then I guess we both have to be more careful from now on.” She drops her gaze for a moment before raising it again to his own and giving him a soft smile. “Because what happens to you happens to me too.”
He matches her smile and takes a step forward. Before he can speak, a loud scraping noise comes from the bedroom behind her. She spins around and he places a steadying hand on her elbow. Her heart begins to pound harder and she can’t tell if the adrenaline is from the mystery or from his touch.
Ace’s breath fans across her ear and sends a shiver down her back as he whispers, “What do you want to do?”
Nancy takes a moment to gather her thoughts before straightening her back. She knows he understands her decision when he takes his place next to her. They both slowly walk forward and turn to peer into the bedroom. A girl stands staring at the window, gazing out at the night sky. Her hair is like moonlight down her back and it's almost as white as the wedding dress she is wearing.
“Is that…a ghost bride?” Ace doesn’t lower his voice when he asks but the girl doesn’t turn.
She narrows her eyes for a moment before understanding. “No, she’s our missing girl.”
Walking into the room, Nancy lowers her flashlight. “Alice? Are you okay?”
At the window, Alice still doesn’t move, but she slowly begins to sway.
Nancy walks closer. “Alice?”
Alice falls to the ground, lace trimmed skirt flying in the air before it all settles around her like snow, the girl peacefully unconscious in the middle of it all.
Nancy and Ace run to her. Nancy checks Alice’s pulse and relief courses through her to find the steady beat. “She’s still alive.” Nancy gives Alice a once-over, clocks the locket at her throat, the engagement ring on her finger, and the muddy sneakers peeking out from the pristine dress.
“Do you think you can carry her?” Nancy begins to look around the room when she speaks.
“Yeah, I can do it.” Ace gives a small grunt as he lifts her. “We good to go?”
“One second.” Nancy moves to the drawer that is cracked open and opens it the rest of the way. It’s empty save for two envelopes, the paper yellowed from time. She grabs them and slips them into her satchel. With one last look around the room, she nods. “Let’s go.”
“Let me get this straight.” George is standing behind the bar at The Claw, arms crossed. “You guys went into this house, Nancy was chased by some crazy ghost, and then when you guys found the missing girl, she passed out and is now in a coma?”
Nancy nods. “Although strangely enough, the ghost didn’t stop us from leaving with Alice.” She reaches into her bag and pulls out the letters. “Also didn’t stop us from taking this.”
“Ooh, what’s that?” Bess peers over Nancy’s shoulder and plucks one from the table.
“Weren’t you there?” George raises an eyebrow at Bess. “Shouldn’t you know?”
“Well,” Bess drawls. “I was at first, but then I went to keep guard outside. Florence was out there all by herself.”
“Mmhmm.” George narrows her eyes.
“They’re letters Nancy took from the bedroom drawer that we found Alice in,” Ace answers as he grabs the other letter and opens it, holding it in front of Nancy so they can both read it.
And although she read it while driving in Florence, she uses the excuse to lean into Ace a bit more, staring down at the paper in his hands. George and Nick both lean over the counter to look at the paper Bess holds. The groups switch papers and then Nick looks up questioningly.
“A wedding and funeral invitation for the same couple dated, Harry and Leticia Browning, a week apart,” Nick turns to Nancy. “And the ghost you saw looked like it had drowned?”
Nancy nods and can feel Ace look at her, but she doesn’t meet his gaze. “The writing on the wall, ‘And Even After Death,’ I’m guessing that’s referring to wedding vows. ‘Until death do us part.’ The Brownings must be haunting the place because they died so soon after being married. What I’m not sure about is what they want with Alice. Or why they’d wait so long to do something like this.”
Nancy points at Nick and George. “Did you get any good leads?”
“There were a few things about ghost brides, but not anything specific. Now that we know their names, though, I think we’ll be able to find more,” Nick answers.
“As for Alice, she was apparently having dreams about drowning in a car. So she might have been seeing how the Brownings died. That’s all I really got. Her friends weren’t too helpful, though I can tell they were hiding something like every other sixteen year old is,” George adds with an eye roll.
Nancy nods. “I’m sure we can get them to be more honest when they learn Alice is in the hospital. And if not, well, there are always ways to get a person to open up.”
Bess leans in close to Nancy and whispers, “Do you mean torture?”
“What?” Nancy drew back, bumping into Ace. “Bess, no! I meant like, using really good interrogation skills.”
“I could always threaten to hack into their school systems and change their grades,” Ace volunteered.
Nancy shoots him a look and he gives a small shrug. “I probably wouldn’t actually do it.”
“Probably,” she mouths and he gives her a smile that warms her from the inside out.
“And if that doesn’t work,” George reaches under the bar and pulls out her crowbar. “I always have this.”
Nick places his hand over George and lowers the weapon. “We are not going to terrorize 16 year olds. I’m sure if we ask nicely, they’ll answer our questions.”
“Oh, what, and I didn’t ask nicely?” George places her hands on her hips.
Smiling, Nick wraps an arm around his fiancee. “I’m sure you did, but we can just try again and be even nicer.”
With a huff, George nods. “Okay, we can do that tomorrow.”
“And I,” Bess volunteers. “Will do research about the Brownings. It won’t take long, so perhaps I’ll head to the historical society and try to find out what the ghosts want with Alice afterwards. Maybe there was something like this that happened in the past.”
Nancy nods. “Okay. I’ll go back to the house and try figuring out what the ghost wants. Maybe he won’t chase me this time.”
Ace bumps her shoulder with his own. “Well if he does, he’ll be chasing both of us because I’m going with you.”
Nancy whirls to face him, ready to argue because she isn’t sure a solo mission with him would be best for her. But then she sees the look in his eyes like she might say no and he would agree, would take it, but it would pain him to do so. She remembers their conversation from earlier that night and nods. “Okay.”
Bess claps her hands. “Great!” She pauses for a moment and cocks her head to the side. “Is anyone else hungry?”
The group looks around at each other.
“We could,” Nick suggests slowly. “Make food from what we have here.”
Nancy begins to nod. “That seems like it would be a smart idea.”
“Yeah, we could,” Ace lifts a hand in gesture. “Or we could order pizza.”
“On it,” Nick says and disappears to the back.
“Okay so,” George quickly recites their usual orders. “Does that sound right?”
“Mmm,” Bess shakes her head. “I want to add jalapeños to mine today.”
With a sigh, George turns to the back. “You switch orders every other time. Have you no pizza loyalty?” She heads in the direction of Nick’s voice. “I’ll let him know.”
Bess scoffs. “I just like to try new things.”
Ace opens his mouth to reply, when the door chimes.
Automatically, Nancy calls out, “We’re closed.” Then she notices how Ace has straightened.
Bess turns to see who it is before looking at Nancy then Ace, a bit wide-eyed.
“Ace,” the person who just entered calls, and Nancy recognizes the voice.
“Hey, Amanda,” Ace smiles and opens his arms right as Amanda runs into them. “What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t getting back until…I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon.”
Amanda tilts her head back and smiles up at him. “I missed you.” Then she turns and smiles at Bess, then Nancy. “Hey, guys! It’s good to see you both.
Nancy gives a smile back, but she’s sure it resembles more of a grimace. “It’s good to see you too.”
Bess smiles radiantly. “Hi, Amanda. How was your trip?”
“It was great.” She turns and gives Ace a slight look. “Would have been better if he had come with me.” It could be considered a teasing, but Nancy notices the tension from both of them.
Ace says nothing, just gives her a quick grin. “Do you want to,” he pauses to cock his head at a booth. “Should we go sit over there?”
“Actually, can we go outside for a minute?” Amanda says it all calmly, a nice smile still on her face, but Nancy understands. Amanda wants to be alone with her boyfriend. And Nancy can do nothing but stand there and watch as the seemingly happy couple walks out the doors together, as the boy she loves is led away by his girlfriend. And Nancy is left standing there, with nothing she can do but watch.
Bess begins to speak about something, but Nancy is putting all her focus into not lip-reading the conversation happening only a few feet away. And it’s hard because of her nature, but she respects Ace and she wants him to tell her it all directly rather than having to eavesdrop.
It’s not a choice really, rather something she forces herself to watch. She tells herself this is who he really loves. She tells herself there isn’t a point waiting when he’s happy. She tells herself all the things she knows she should tell herself, all the things that don’t really matter at all. Because while she’s making an attempt to look at the downside of her situation, all the good things come rushing up, pushing back hard at the reality she is seeing.
Nancy has seen the hues wash away from a person, has seen people fade into black and white, no longer who they once were. It happened to her mom when she died, and to her dad as he watched it happened. Carson got his color back, thankfully, but it was still more terrifying to see him lose it than anything paranormal could be.
She knows that the absence of love being returned could make a person fade, but her unrequited feelings for Ace never dimmed her. Even if none of it was ever given back to her, loving him brought a light to her life that she had never experienced, shading the world in vibrant new shades she had never seen before. No, Ace could never cause her to fade, not when he illuminated everything, at least for Nancy.
It’s this truth that keeps her going even as she thinks she’ll go insane if she has to stay in this room for one more moment. Something she’d never considered about love was the strings that get tied up when it’s complicated, for example, when one person in the equation is dating someone else. Not that Ace is even aware he’s in the equation.
So even as she sits here in The Claw and watches Ace smile down at Amanda as she stares up at him, arms wrapped around his waist, Nancy knows her own love for him will not end anytime soon. These positive thoughts are in conflict with a different part of her. She has to fight down these urges, urges she didn’t even know existed in her, like the one causing her leg to shake so she doesn’t get up and rip them apart from one another. But she’s better than that. Just because she’s usually impulsive doesn’t mean she always is. At least she tries to tell herself that as she returns her focus to Bess.
But her friend has stopped talking sometime while Nancy was busy not listening. Bess raises an eyebrow, an amused smile crossing her face. “Are you finished giving them dirty looks?”
Nancy flushes as she turns to her phone, hoping the lie is more believable if she doesn’t have to make eye contact. “I wasn’t giving them dirty looks.” She pauses, then, “I don’t even know who ‘them’ is.”
“Nancy,” Bess sing-songs. “We both know that isn’t true.”
With a sigh, Nancy sets her phone down and meets her friend's amused gaze. “I was just observing all our friends. No dirty looks from me because that would require negative feelings, and I love everyone here.”
“Mmhmm,” Bess smiles. “Love is the word I’d use as well.”
Nancy glances at Ace again, sees him wrap an arm around his girlfriend, and she feels a physical pain in her chest. She has to look away.
Bess no longer looks amused. “It’s okay to want him, to feel those things. And it’s okay to be hurt by all of it too.”
“He doesn’t need the burden of my emotions.” Nancy says it softly, bitterly, and the honesty in her words hurting herself more than anything else that happened tonight.
Reaching over, Bess places a hand over her friends. “Nothing you feel is ever a burden. And we both know Ace would agree.”
“I would agree with what?”
Both girls' heads snap to the side as Ace approaches, Amanda nowhere to be seen.
Nancy is at a loss for words, but Bess is quick to answer. “You would agree that eating breakfast for dinner is only something done for special occasions.”
“You know me so well, Bessita.” He stretches as he speaks, shirt lifting so it exposes a sliver of skin that Nancy’s eyes are drawn to, heat rushing up her neck as she stares.
Bess coughs, and speaks up. “So where’s Amanda?”
“Oh,” Ace waves a hand in the direction of the parking lot. “She had to leave—family emergency.”
With a raised eyebrow, Bess continues her interrogation. “And you didn’t go.”
“Well, she doesn’t need my help with everything.” There’s something defensive in his tone, but Nancy can’t tell who he’s arguing for: himself for not offering to go or Amanda for not inviting him along. The look Bess gives her is one of agreement and piqued interest.
“Right, well,” Bess pushes away from the counter. “I have to go—powder my nose.” She runs off before Nancy can call her back.
“Do ladies still powder their noses? Was that ever a thing?” Ace seats himself next to Nancy.
She gives a small laugh. “It’s a thing. Though usually it’s just the polite way of saying one needs to use the restroom.”
He leans in, eyes focused on her nose. “Don’t powder your nose.”
“Do you have any idea what that entails?”
“No, but,” his hand raises and he brings it to her nose. The pad of his index finger brushes over the tip of it once before pulling away abruptly. His voice is soft when he speaks again, but with an edge to it, something protective clouding it. “I like your nose just the way it is.”
Nancy licks her lips. “I like yours too. Just the way it is.” What she really means is that she likes all of him, just the way he is, that she would hurt anyone who ever suggests he change a thing. But she can’t say that now, maybe can’t say that ever, and this is already toeing the line of what she can and can’t do.
She doesn’t reach across and touch his nose like he did hers, that is a big Can’t Do. And she’s worried that if she starts touching him, she won’t be able to stop. She used to draw comfort from him unconsciously, reaching for him when he was near, standing by his side because she was steadiest there. But it feels different now. Her heart beats a little too fast and she finds too much meaning in things that were once just them being them. But they can’t be the same as they once were. Not when every little Thing between the two of them holds so much weight that Nancy is finally acknowledging. It was always there. She just used to be so good at pretending it wasn’t.
“You’re thinking about something.” Ace’s voice pulls Nancy back to him.
She goes for nonchalant. “I’m always thinking about something.”
“Yeah.” He nods. “But something is upsetting you. Does it have to do with what you and Bess were talking about before I came over? Does it have to do…” He looks away then, something so unlike Ace, before continuing. “Does it have to do with…us?”
There are so many things Ace could mean by “us.” He could mean all of them, their group of friends. But he doesn’t. She knows that. She closes her eyes for a moment, allowing the wave of pain at the idea of there being a real “us” between her and Ace pass. When she opens them again, his gaze is still downcast.
Nancy watches him for a moment, the worried stance he holds himself in. “We were talking about dinner. And food. That’s all.”
He meets her gaze then, but he says nothing. He doesn’t need to. There is nothing accusing in his eyes, nothing saying he is upset, and Nancy knows that if she lies again he will accept it, even if it eats away at him. He accepts anything she says, anything she does, no matter how it affects him. It only makes everything so much harder. But she can’t lie about it again.
So she pleads with him, eyes desperate as they look into his own. “Can we talk about something else?”
His mouth opens for a moment before he gives a nod. “Okay.”
But they are interrupted at that moment by the front door opening again. Nancy wonders if it’s a savior or Amanda back again. When she turns, she sees it’s the pizza man.
Their friends join them and Nick pulls out his wallet to pay. “Thank you,” he says with a smile before the deliverer leaves. Turning, Nick does a small dance. “Who’s ready for pizza?”
They eat like they usually do, crowded around each other, arms reaching over one another to get a napkin or a drink or another slice, voices carrying throughout the empty space and filling every crevice. Something settles in Nancy, a peaceful feeling. She meets Ace’s eyes over the bar, and she sees he’s thinking about the same thing, about how lucky they are to have this, to have each other. They smile at one another, before Nancy has to look away, worried her eyes will give away too much. It’s a worry that carries through the rest of the evening, a worry that keeps her from meeting Ace’s gaze even when they are speaking directly to one another.
When he leaves to get something from her locker, Nancy takes the opportunity to slip out the front door, Bess distracted by her phone and Nick and George with one another.
Then Nancy's out the door, running from loved ones like she used to, ashamed at how easy it is to revert to this habit. She’s nearly to her car when Ace catches up to her. His hand at her elbow gently pulls her back and it feels like a wave being taken back into the ocean, like she was just a separated part of the whole and she’s being returned where she belongs. She can’t do anything but turn to him.
Nancy tries a nonchalant smile. “What’s up?”
“You left suddenly,” he points behind him. “What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head, furrows her brows, does all the things a person who isn’t upset would do when asked if they are upset. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired.” And it should work. On anyone else it would work. But Ace knows her too well.
He cocks his head to the side. “Come on. Tired? Nancy Drew can come up with a better lie than that.” He’s tugging her closer and her heart clenches. Because maybe it’s exactly that. Maybe she wants him to call her out, wants him to follow her out of every room, and so she leaves breadcrumbs for him to follow because he can never seem to resist solving any puzzle that involves her. And, dangerously, foolishly, it makes her hope.
She looks down at his hand on her, the way his long fingers circle her skin. She knows she’ll be thinking about that touch for much too long. He looks down at his hand as well, and they both watch as he moves it down, slowly, leaving a fire in its path. He gently circles her wrist with his fingers, thumb against her pulse.
“Nancy,” he whispers. Neither of them can rip their eyes away from where they are touching. “What’s wrong?”
“I just…” She shakes her head. “Something is wrong, but it shouldn’t be.”
Ace looks at her. There’s frustration in his eyes, but it’s not at her, it’s at himself for not understanding the carefully hidden clue in her words. “What do you mean?”
She pulls away from him and takes a step back. “I’ve been lying a lot lately. Not out loud, not directly, but I have. Because the truth is selfish.”
His gaze on her is like a flashlight, revealing all the things she tries to hide in the dark. “What truth?”
With a small, almost bitter laugh, she answers, “One I can only seem to admit in my dreams.”
“Does it have to do with what we were talking about earlier? Or—what we didn’t get to talk about because you didn’t want to?” There’s a vulnerability in his voice, one she matches.
“Yes.”
“And you still won’t? Talk about it with me?”
And she considers it for a second, considers taking that step forward by being honest and crossing that chasm between them, and letting him fill any empty gap in her heart. He could fill her up, he could center her, and Nancy knows she doesn’t need fixing, but sometimes it’s okay to lean on someone and she wants to fall right into him because he’ll catch her.
Instead she takes a step back. He is still with Amanda and she’s not that kind of girl. She shakes her head. “I can’t.”
“You can trust me,” he offers it almost nonchalantly, but there’s a desperation in his voice, like he’s asking her for something she hasn’t yet given him.
“I do,” she says, voice soft and fragile. She risks glancing at him so he can know the true depth of that. “But it’s my burden to carry.” She recalls saying that once about Everett, knows Ace would offer to help her carry any weight, so she continues because this is different. “And some burdens are meant to be shouldered alone.” She gives him her best smile. “Because I’m strong enough, right?”
“That was never in question.” He’s looking at her, shadows fanning across his angular face. Nancy wishes she had a talent in art because she wants to paint this right now, to memorialise him, because even though she knows she will see him every time she closes her eyes, she wants everyone else to get to see this too.
He shakes his head then, as if he can tell she is hiding something from him and refuses to allow it. “But I don’t want you to take on anything by yourself. If you let me, I’ll always be by your side.”
The words come out of her so softly that the wind threatens to take them away. “You always are, Ace.”
“But not with this?”
She says nothing, unsure she trusts the words that would escape if she opens her mouth.
He moves closer to her, and the shadows on his face bounce, his hands raise slightly, hanging between them, and everything in her wants to take them, to pull him in, but she doesn’t. “I will never push you, Nancy. And anything you need from me is yours to take.” He holds up his palms like it’s proof, and it nearly breaks her.
Ace continues, “I don’t want you to do this all alone. If you can ever—when you do decide to lean on someone, I’ll be here.”
A shaky breath escapes her. “I know. You guys are always here for me. And you’ve helped me grow so much.”
“I’m not talking about that.”
Nancy feels everything within her come to a halt. “What are you talking about?”
He looks to the side for a moment, then turns back to her, eyes ablaze, two headlights in this dark night. “It’s easier between us. We both know that. Like—we can talk to each other in a way we can’t with others, and sometimes you’ll look at me and I’ll just know and I think it’s the same when I look at you. You just know.”
Nancy bites down on the inside of her cheek and swallows against the lump in her throat. She wants to say yes, wants to run to him, wants to say the truth. It hurts more than anything before to have to lie. “I—honestly, no, Ace, I don’t know. We’re all friends, all the same. And if you’re—if there’s something else you’re looking for, that's what Amanda is for.”
His eyebrows furrow and he shakes his head. "What does Amanda have to do with this?”
Her cheeks flush and she runs a hand through her hair. “Because what you’re saying it’s…that’s what you should have with Amanda.”
Ace remains motionless for a moment, eyes searching her before he slowly whispers, “But I don’t.” And it’s like he said, they both know things the other doesn’t say. It’s how she knows the look in his eyes is telling her I have it with you .
She keeps her hands at her side and it takes all her focus not to fidget. “Maybe you should work on changing that.”
Something in his eyes flickers and she knows she's hurt him. She wishes she could take it back, wishes she could start the night over, wishes she’d come to her senses before he’d met Amanda. Instead she turns slightly. “I should go.”
Before either of them can do anything else, Bess runs out of The Claw, shooting. “Guys! Guys! Nancy!.” She’s panting when she reaches them, eyes wide, and phone in her hand. “It happened again. Another teenager went missing—and he was having dreams too."