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Jongdae and Junmyeon loved each other.
They loved each other as soulmates love each other. Their love story was so pure and genuine that they could be easily mistaken with Romeo and Juliet. When Jongdae was next to Junmyeon, it always felt so right, so peaceful.
He knew, Junmyeon was the right person. The person he would hold on to until he die.
If he only had more than 4 years left.
Jongdae was dying. He found out he was dying about 3 months ago, when he was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. And although he has succeeded telling Junmyeon he was just kinda clumsy nowadays, he was losing his moves little by little.
Soon, he wouldn’t be able to keep that lie.
And although he wanted Junmyeon to stay by his side when he lose his senses and his moves, it was too selfish. It was too selfish to ask Junmyeon to stay and watch him die, making him lose years of his young life to take care of an ill guy who is too unlucky to be alive.
Jongdae already made his decision. He would break up with Junmyeon when he least expect it. Break his heart and make Junmyeon hate him until the day he finally dies.
He just didn’t know that day would be today.
“What happened? You told me to come here quickly.” Jongdae says, hardly breathing, his hands on his knees while he is trying to catch his breath.
Junmyeon called him with a message asking him to get to the park two blocks away from his house quickly, because it was an emergency. Honestly, Jongdae didn’t ever think twice before catching his keys and running to him. What if something happened to Junmyeon?
But when he got there, Junmyeon was just standing in the front of the three they first kissed, because of that kiss me under the mistletoe thing.
Junmyeon smiles and bends down, so he can see his boyfriend’s tired face.
“Oh baby, don’t you know what day it is today?.”
Oh, right. It’s Christmas eve.
“Oh. I’m sorry…” Jongdae puts his hands on his forehead and giggles, embarrassed. He has been too busy with his exams to realize how time passes fast. “Happy Christmas Eve, Myeon. Wait… oh my God I came so worried that I forgot your gift- Please let me go back to my house and I’ll...”
Junmyeon smiles and hugs his boyfriend, making him finally shut up.
“Please don’t worry about it.” Junmyeon thighs the embrace. Jongdae can feel his heartbeat. It’s fast. “Just give me another gift instead.”
Jongdae looks at him confused and, when he least expects, Junmyeon steps back and gets on his knees.
Oh no, no, no...
“Jongdae, would you marry…” Junmyeon’s voice is low, his eyes sparking like shiny stars in the blue sky.
"I can't." Jongdae interrupts him, his hands tight and his head looking down. His heart aches. It doesn’t want to say goodbye but Jongdae needs to do it. Jongdae needs to let Junmyeon go. “I don’t love you anymore.”
“Haha, nice joke silly boy.” Junmyeon says with a smile on his face, leaning to face Jongdae. Jongdae avoids his gaze and feels tears coming. “It’s a joke, right?”
And when his voice sounded serious, Jongdae needed to face him. He needed to say that, for Junmyeon’s own good.
He has never been good at lying. Honestly, he has never lied to Junmyeon, but this time… He needed it.
He needed to make Junmyeon believe.
“It’s not.” He faces Junmyeon, tears running down his face. “I don’t love you anymore Junmyeon. I’ve been into someone else for a couple weeks but I didn’t tell you because you didn’t let me. Your happy smile always made me feel awful for not loving you back and I can’t take it anymore. That’s why I won’t marry you, I’m sorry.”
Junmyeon’s eyes suddenly get empty, the tears falling down while he stares at Jongdae speechless. That was the most heartbroken scene Jongdae has ever seen.
So Jongdae only turns around and leaves. His heart is burning like hell even though it’s snowing. He walks through the snow and ignores Junmyeon calling him. He runs as if his life depends on it and he locks himself in his house, covering his ears and not hearing a thing.
That day, he lost the love of his life and, next, he couldn't care less about his own.
No symptom of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis could hurt more than losing Junmyeon.