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The first few days after, Dean doesn't fall asleep. Not until he knows Cas is in bed with him, not until he feels the steady deep inhale of his breathing against his back, not until he can intertwine his fingers with Cas'.
Still, his sleep is restless. He stirs several times a night, the split second jolt of panic flooding his body until he realizes that Cas's still next to him. He wakes early, not because he doesn't need more sleep but because he needs to know, see, feel that Cas is still there, that he's not–
“Dean?” Cas sounds sleepy yet concerned.
“Shh, 's nothing, Cas. Couldn't sleep is all.”
Cas pulls Dean in even closer, even though they're practically plastered to each other already. “You had nightmares?”
“No.” Technically, it isn't a lie.
“Dean. You're worse than an Aes Sedai.”
“A what now?”
“Nevermind. Dean. Let me help you.”
Dean licks his lips. Cas can't help him. A soft kiss against his neck coaxes forth a sigh. “You're cheating.”
“Mm. Castiel uses kisses. It's very effective.”
Dean huffs out a laugh and stares out into the dark bedroom. He swallows. “You're such a dork.” He pauses briefly, “I need to.. uh. I just need to check that you're alright, okay? That you've not done a McCallister and left me home alone.”
“Oh, Dean. Turn around.”
“Why? I like being the little spoon.”
“Turn around so I can see you.”
Dean turns around and smiles as Cas takes his hand. “It's dark, Cas.”
“Dean. My beloved.”
His heart still picks up speed hearing Cas use any kind of endearment.
“I'm going to die.”
Dean's smile falters. “Cas, dude. That's not the way to ease my fears.”
“I'm getting there.”
“Fine.”
“I'm going to die.”
Dean grits his teeth. “Cas...”
Cas places a hand on Dean's chest. “I'm going to die. Just by the simple fact that I'm human now. But that fact shouldn't stop us, stop you from living. You have all of me, Dean. I'm not going anywhere.”
Dean exhales a shaky breath. “I know that, Cas. I know. I'm just... I can't shut it off.”
“Fear is the mindkiller.”
“Are you gonna quote every damn book at me tonight?”
He can hear the smile in Cas' voice. “I might. Listen, Dean. I've wanted this, you for over a decade. I finally know that I can have what I want. And we both deserve this. We have been through a lot, lost each other... a lot. But I'll be here now. I'll be here when you wake up tomorrow. I'll be here when you bake me my first birthday cake.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes. I want raspberry cake.” Cas leans in and kisses Dean. “I'll be here when your hair is sprinkled with gray, when the lines in your face are deeper, when you're somewhat wiser.”
Dean huffs out a laugh. “Thanks.”
And I'll be here when you wake.”
“Alright.”
“Alright. Good night, Dean. I love you.”
Dean smiles a ridiculous, happy smile. “Love you too.”