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Beomgyu spun the steering wheel with one hand, using the other for a swift switching of the gears. He could navigate the block blindly, muscles working on memory.
Taehyun sat on the porch of his apartment building, tapping away on his phone. His jean jacket engulfed him, though it was way too thin to protect him from the weather.
Beomgyu pulled up, rolling down the window. “Oi, Kang Taehyun!”
Taehyun’s head snapped up, eyes sparkling. He offered a small wave, running over.
“Hi,” he breathed out, buckling up his seatbelt.
Beomgyu forced himself to look at the road, knuckles white around the wheel. He even managed to smirk when he said, “Not even a kiss, Hyun?”
“Depends.” Taehyun winked, though they quickly fell into a mutual silence. He cleared his throat eventually. “What’s the occasion?”
“I’m feeling dead inside.”
“Fair point.”
Beomgyu knew his coping mechanisms sucked, but well, at least he didn’t want to die anymore. Even if said root of all his problems was sat next to him, breathing the same oxygen.
He knew his coping mechanisms sucked when he was hit in the face with the lighting of the club, the heat rolling off bodies making him feel icky as well.
“Want a drink?!” Beomgyu yelled over his shoulder.
Taehyun clasped his hand around Beomgyu’s, silently telling him to lead the way.
Beomgyu grinned to himself, carefully zigzagging through the people, making sure they split like the sea when Moses worked his divine power. No droplet of sweat would be touching Taehyun tonight.
He sat them down at one of the stools, cheeks flushed and a silly grin on. “The usual sugary shit?”
Taehyun rolled his eyes, though a smile danced on his lips. “Stop slandering my taste.”
“Just worrying about your sweet tooth, sweetheart.”
“My teeth are perfectly in tact, thank you very much.” Taehyun took a long sip, to prove a point.
Beomgyu, however, knew Taehyun longer than that. He could see the twitching of his eye at the bitterness that couldn’t be hidden away.
Beomgyu laughed out, taking Taehyun’s hand, guiding the glass away from his lips. “You hate it.”
“What makes you think that?”
“You always end up getting sick when you drink these. You try to work them away as fast as possible, because they taste horrible,” Beomgyu said. “And then you end up shitfaced.”
Taehyun tilted his head, cocking up a challenging brow. He threw back the drink in one go. “I think I’m ready to dance.”
Beomgyu followed Taehyun’s example with his beer, letting himself get dragged along.
Taehyun was always a sight to see on the dance floor, always unbothered by those around him and enjoying himself like he was the only one in the room. His moves weren’t anything flashy, nothing too bold, but he was mesmerizing. His body swayed with that extra oomph to make it hypnotizing, and Beomgyu — not even intoxicated yet — was drawn.
Taehyun was the Sun, and Beomgyu, he was just one of the planets trapped in his orbit.
Taehyun grinned at him, the glitter on his eyes a dull sparkle compared to his eyes. He’d worn contacts, blue, hair nicely styled and his lips a plush pink shade. He was wearing that smile again, the one where his little fangs were on display.
Beomgyu didn’t know where the surge of confidence came from, but he stepped forward, cupping Taehyun’s cheeks.
Taehyun froze in shock, breath hitching. For a moment only, because he quickly stepped back, head hanging low. “I’m seeing someone now, Gyu. I’m sorry.”
He was right. He was absolutely right. He was seeing someone; he shouldn’t be playing around with Beomgyu like that. A name popped into Beomgyu’s mind, but no face was there to match it. After all, this guy — Yeonjun, his mind helpfully supplied — was just one of the many. And Beomgyu, it showed, wasn’t any more special.
But he was upset, upset that Taehyun hadn’t told him. That Taehyun always remained in his mind, even if he continuously showed that it was nothing more than casual. Beomgyu was his best friend. His best friend who’d do anything to make him happy.
“Remember when we fucked in the shower?” Beomgyu asked. “It suddenly just crossed my mind. Like the time we kissed at the club, or in my car. That thing in your kitchen—“
“Beomgyu!” Taehyun gasped, eyes darting around the room. Of course no one was watching.
“Well, we did, didn’t we?” Beomgyu wanted to slap himself for sounding so stupid. “I heard this funny thing somewhere. That once friends kiss, they can never go back to just being friends. Either they become lovers or they will forever be stuck in the fuck buddy zone. I just want to know, Taehyun, are we going anywhere?”
Taehyun’s eyes were big, hand shaking.
Beomgyu nodded, excusing himself and leaving Taehyun in the middle of the sea of strangers. “Right. I’ll see you around, Hyun.”
The boy he met on the dance floor apparently was called Kai. He was good. A nice distraction. And a new number on his already packed contact list.
<><><>
“That’s a shitty situation.” Kai sat criss-cross applesauce beneath his sheets with a significant lack of clothing.
The sun spilled through the blinds, forming thin strips in the dark. Kai was pretty, sure, but god, Beomgyu would’ve left him on the dancefloor had he known how big his mouth was.
Beomgyu pulled his pants on with a roll of his eyes. “Gee, thanks for pointing it out.”
“What else can I say to that?” Kai shook his head, fingers to his temple. “You’ve got no chance, my dude.”
“You’re more fun when you’re intoxicated,” Beomgyu grumbled, patting the floor for his next item of clothing.
“Ditto.”
Beomgyu let out an exasperated groan. “Why did I even end up with you?”
“Because I was pretty and hot and sexy and—“
“Yes, okay. Stop.” Beomgyu flung a sock at Kai’s face, though it was easily dodged.
However, Kai picked it up, inspected if it was his. He then shrugged and put it on anyway. “Anyways, tell me more.”
Beomgyu scowled at him. Who did this guy think he was, investing in Beomgyu’s tragic love life like it was some soap opera. If anything, it was more of a wannabe edgy teen drama, if Beomgyu had his say. It was way more fun to watch, not so much to be wrapped up in.
“Why?” Beomgyu ran his fingers through his hair.
He should’ve brought them to his house. But he’d decided to drive, and by the time he’d met Kai he’d been too drunk to be able to drive. Fucking Kai who lived closer.
“I’m invested now.” Kai repositioned himself, flashing a little more skin than Beomgyu would’ve liked to see. “This is way better than any of those shitty shows.”
Beomgyu blew out through his nose. “God, where do I even begin?”
“I don’t know, the beginning?”
“Brat.”
Kai stuck out his tongue.
Beomgyu sighed. “Well, he’s always there. Whenever there are unwanted guys flocking around me, he’s there to save me. We kiss, we make out, we hook up. But, whenever he has a boyfriend, I’m just his best friend. And I’ll always wait for him to come around.”
“Fuck, keep going.”
“You sociopath.” Beomgyu’s glare was ineffective. He should’ve known by now, but there was no harm trying. “He’s always in and out of relationships, you know? Like, he only ever does shit with me when he’s heartbroken. After a breakup, y’know.”
“Sucks. At least he’s faithful to his partners, though.” Kai leaned his back against his headboard.
“Whatever. What do I know about relationships? All I do is lead people on. Of course he doesn’t think I’m being serious. I mean, look at this. I was in your bed, we hooked up and he saw us leave together. We’ll still keep in touch, though. Quite literally, too.”
“So what we’ve got is two idiots,” Kai commented.
“Put on a shirt, will ya?” Beomgyu threw another piece of stray clothing at Kai’s head. This time it hit him, much to Beomgyu’s delight.
“You didn’t seem to mind last night,” Kai grumbled, pulling the shirt over his head.
“I swear to god.” Beomgyu kicked at the air. “I’ll kick you out on the streets like that.”
“I literally heard out your sappy ass, sad as shit story. And also got him off your mind for like, a millisecond. I deserve more than this.” Kai paused, brows knitted together. “Also, this is literally my house!”
Beomgyu groaned, dropping down to the mattress, face hidden in his hands. “Jesus fuck, he’s so annoying but I can’t let him go.”
Kai shrugged. “Then hold onto him. Don’t leave him in the dark.”
Beomgyu peeked through his fingers, incredulous expression. “Didn’t you just say I had no chance?”
“Changed my mind. You should tell him before it’s too late.”
Beomgyu was the one who ended up being kicked out to the streets. It was way harder to navigate back, especially now that he was sober and had no idea where the fuck he actually was.
<><><>
Beomgyu had never been just a friend, but he’d never been a boyfriend either. It was that awkward state in between, where the lines were blurry and the boundaries low. Beomgyu with his messed up hair and deep voice, with his high spirits and goofy grin. God, and when he bit those lips, looking at him through half-lidded eyes, Taehyun knew all his exes would never match up.
Because Beomgyu was everything. He was confident and shameless, beautiful and easy to love. He was a shoulder to cry on, always there to fall back to, but now, with his messages dead and a week of silence, Taehyun was starting to fear the worst.
There was never a moment where there was no Beomgyu and now, when that time had hit, it was empty. A field, barren en dead, cold as winter’s touch.
Also, Yeonjun was into modern art and that made his apartment ugly as fuck.
Taehyun sighed. “Yeonjun, let’s break up.”
Yeonjun looked up from his laptop, sullen smile on his lips. “There’s someone else, isn’t there.”
“I’m sorry,” Taehyun whispered.
“It’s okay. I could tell.” Yeonjun nudged him with his foot. “We can end our agreement. I don’t think it was working that well anyway. You’re great and all, Tae, but you’re not it for me.”
“Thank you, Yeonjun.” Taehyun flopped onto his belly. “So, how’s that ex of yours getting along?”
“Oh! My! God! You don’t even know.” Yeonjun flung his laptop aside. “So he dyed his hair red. Red! For fuck’s sake! How does he expect me to move on like that, like…”
Taehyun shouldn’t have asked. He should not have asked, he realized begrudgingly an hour later, with Yeonjun sobbing in his lap.
<><><>
“And? Did you go to him yet?”
Kai slurped his americano so loudly, Beomgyu was embarrassed to be out with him. He tried hiding his face in his hair. It was no use; there was no one out there who could match up to Beomgyu’s luscious locks. Oh, horror… Oh, tragedy…
“Well, no, but—“
Kai cut him off. “Then why are you here, talking to me?”
“Just tell me what to do,” Beomgyu hissed.
Kai shoved a piece of cake into his mouth. “Bro, we literally have the same coping mechanisms. What do you need me for?”
“Insult me or something,” Beomgyu suggested. “Kick some sense into me. Help me— We’re on a date now.”
Kai blinked. “Excuse me.”
“Hahaha, Kai, that’s so funny!” Beomgyu exclaimed exaggeratedly, slapping Kai on the arm.
Kai pulled away. “What about this is—“
Beomgyu didn’t let him finish, bringing his face dangerously close. “Play the fuck along.”
Kai frowned, looking around the cafe for what in the hell could have caused Beomgyu to finally lose it. There he spotted it, the splitting image of Beomgyu’s drunken sobs.
“No, oh no, no, no.” Kai blanched. “Keep me out of your fuckery.”
“No, please—“
“Is that Taehyun? The one with the lip rings and beanie?” Kai already knew; Beomgyu was very good at visually speaking. “Phew, man, I don’t know… I take back my words. You don’t stand a chance.”
“We literally fucked. Last night.”
Kai leaned back, straw on his lips. “I have low standards. I just wanna feel alive.”
Beomgyu’s face fell into a deadpan. “You just insulted us both there.”
“I know.” Kai patted Beomgyu’s shoulder. “Anyways, bro, you gotta shoot your shot before it’s gone.”
“Shit, shit, shit, he’s looking our way.” Beomgyu was shaking like the trees during a storm and Kai almost felt bad for hin. “What do I do? What do we do— Hi, Hyun!”
Up close, Kai had to admit, Taehyun was even more stunning. His piercing shone sharply, his eyes even more so. The glitter lining them did nothing to soften them. If anything, they were harder — or maybe it was just Kai.
“Hey, Gyu.” Taehyun smoothly ran his fingers through Beomgyu’s hair. “Who’s this?”
Kai raised a hand. “I’m Kai.”
“We hooked up once,” Beomgyu — unnecessarily — added.
Taehyun eyed Kai up and down, lip pulled into a thin line. He raised a brow. “Aha. Hello.”
He then slid into the booth next to Beomgyu, pressing them so closely together than not even the sunlight could slither between them.
Beomgyu swallowed hardly. “So, Hyun, what brought you here?”
Taehyun tilted his head, hands beneath his chin. “We always hang out here. Why is it weird for me to be here?”
Beomgyu’s cheeks were burning, mouth agape. Taehyun’s stare never faltered, and clearly it was not good for Beomgyu’s health as the boy turned more shades of red and his breathing turned raspy.
“Am I intruding?” Kai asked.
“No, you’re not.” Taehyun smiled, laying his hand on Beomgyu’s. “It’s interesting, though. Gyu, you never keep your flings around.”
“Funny, I wonder why,” Kai said, sending Taehyun a deadpan look.
Taehyun narrowed his eyes, though that melted away like snow beneath the sun as he looked back at Beomgyu. “Anyway, Gyu, why didn’t you invite me over?”
“Well, you see…” Beomgyu scratched his neck. “I thought you’d be busy, with, y’know, Yeonjun and all.”
“We broke up.” Taehyun twirled one of his rings. “Said I was too distracted all the time. Plus it was kinda awkward, kissing him, if I wasn’t even thinking about him.”
Beomgyu short-circuited. It took a minute for him to unfreeze, the loading sign still a ghost in his gaze. “Huh? What do you mean?”
“Beomgyu, don’t be an idiot,” Kai said. He slurped his americano loudly when he received a glare.
Beomgyu ignored the comment. “Taehyun, what do you mean?”
“I broke up with Yeonjun,” Taehyun said. “Not the other way around. Not this time.”
“You?” Beomgyu’s jaw dropped. “Why?!”
“Because there has always been someone else on my mind.”
“Someone else…” Beomgyu’s eyes dimmed. “Oh, then you should tell them.”
A heavy silence fell, though more than that, even the silence was disappointed. The silence facepalmed at all the stupidity and self-denial in this single room.
“Beomgyu, don’t be an idiot,” Kai repeated, a little louder this time.
“Hey—“ Beomgyu started.
“Shouldn’t have dragged me into this if you don’t want me to intervene.”
Taehyun cleared his throat and when Kai looked over, Taehyun was once again — what a surprise — glaring at him! Kai wasn’t a relationship therapist, goddamnit. All he wanted was free coffee.
“Hey, Gyu, can we speak… without him.” The last part came out harsh, probably as harsh as Taehyun had intended.
“Say no more!” Kai picked himself up, shaking his americano happily. “All the best, my dudes.”
“Kai. Kai, no.” Beomgyu grabbed the hem of his shirt. “No, please.”
Kai pulled himself free with a pained grimace. “Hey, man, I love you, but no fucking way.”
“You replaced me?” Taehyun’s eyes suddenly glossed over. “Just like that?”
Kai took that as the signal to leave, returning to the arms of sweet freedom. His departure went unnoticed, and he couldn’t thank the deities more.
“No, I could never…” Beomgyu looked down. “You’re too special to me, Hyun.”
Taehyun turned his body so he was fully facing Beomgyu, one leg pulled up. “Hey, Gyu, I want you to listen to me very closely.”
“Yeah.”
“All of your attention is on me?”
“Yeah.”
Taehyun scratched behind his ear. “Do you want to kiss Kai?”
“Yeah…” It was only then that the question fully registered. His eyes turned to saucers. Spluttering, he waved his hands. “Wait, oh my god, no! No, I meant no!”
“I like you, Beomgyu.”
Beomgyu’d mind fell silent, the bustling of the cafe falling into the background. Those words, God knew how long he’d been waiting to hear them. He’d spent nights dreaming of the moment, wondering what it would be like and how jittery it would make him. He would cup Taehyun’s cheeks and he’d kiss him senseless, this time knowing he wasn’t just a rebound.
But those were only dreams. Reality left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. His hands trembled as he shook his head.
“No. No, you don’t.” His eyes were burning with the tears welling up behind them. “Don’t joke with me, Taehyun.”
“I’m not joking,” Taehyun said. He took Beomgyu’s hands in his. “I really do like you.”
“No… No, you just want to have sex with me to get over your breakup.” Beomgyu ripped himself from Taehyun’s touch. “Haha, Hyun, don’t joke with my feelings like that.”
“I’m not—“
Beomgyu shot up abruptly, shuffling past Taehyun. “Sorry, but I have to go.”
Taehyun did not follow him. Maybe that’s what hurt the most.
<><><>
“How do you know where I live?” Kai grimaced. “And who’s this?”
He stared the guy next to Taehyun up and down, not displeased by what he saw. No, this man next to Taehyun's ratty little being was gorgeous, sculpted from marble and all that, but what the fuck.
“That’s Yeonjun, he’s my ex,” Taehyun explained, his tone calm as if the situation wasn’t utterly ridiculous.
Yeonjun waved. “Hi.”
Kai nodded slowly, sending back an uncertain tremble of fingers. “And my first question?”
“Well, you know. Just so and so.”
“Uhm, right.” Kai was contemplating and was very tempted to blame the door in their faces, but fuck, Yeonjun was hot. “So and so…”
“I need your help,” Taehyun confessed.
Kai rubbed his eyes. It wasn’t morning, but it was still way too early for this bullshit.
“I am the last person you should ask for help, but sure, sure, go off.” He swung the door open. “Come inside, I guess.”
Taehyun nodded at him, slipping past him. Yeonjun followed, face much friendlier and — oh fuck — he smiled. Kai smiled back, stare lingering longer than needed.
Kai lead them to his ‘living room’. Really, he lived in a small apartment; he didn’t have the luxury to pretend he had space to spare. He sat down in his chaise — thrifted! — and motioned for the unwanted guests to take a seat too.
“I’m going to start charging you guys,” Kai grumbled. “I have a life, you know?”
Taehyun didn’t give a shit, asking immediately, “How do I convince Beomgyu I actually love him.”
Kai took a loud sip of his coffee, staring right at Yeonjun. “Do you really want me to answer that?”
Yeonjun ran his fingers through his hair. “Hey, you know, we just dated for the distraction and vibes.”
“So what I’m seeing is to emotionally dependent bitches.” Kai hummed. Fuck. “Noted.”
“This isn’t about that,” Taehyun said.
“It kind of is, though. You can’t commit for shit.”
“Excuse me?” Taehyun frowned. “What do you know?”
“Dear lord stand by me,” Kai muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Beomgyu spilled a lot that night. Like, my guy was full on sobbing about you. Bet you didn’t know that.”
“He did…?”
“Oh trust me on this one.” Kai sighed loudly. “Don’t tell him, though. He was kinda shit-faced when he told me.”
“I know how to commit!” Taehyun exclaimed, crossing his arms. “I never cheat on my partners.”
“Staying in a relationship for a month max is not commitment,” Kai pointed out.
“No, you don’t get it.” Taehyun ran his fingers through his hair, then patted down his pants. “Beomgyu offered this friends with benefits situation after I went through this particularly bad breakup and it was… nice. But it was only after breakups, so in order to have Beomgyu, I needed a… breakup…”
Kai pursed his lips. Was this bitch for real? There was no reason for the situation to be this fucking hard. All it took was one — one — civil and intellectual conversation. Nothing more, nothing less.
“You two are fucked up.” Kai needed a shot for this. Instead, he turned his thoughts to positive things. “So why are you here, Yeonjun?”
“I just want my ex to love me.”
Scratch the positive part, but he was attractive, at least.
“Pay me ten per hour and I’ll hear you out.” Kai rested his chin on his hand, batted his eyelashes. “Though a dinner date would seal the deal as well.”
“Uhm…”
“I love Thursdays, because I’m free then. Like all day, and I love going on dates. On Thursdays. When I’m free. All day.”
Taehyun let out a yelp of protest. “I was first!”
Kai raised a brow. “Show me the money.”
Taehyun slammed his wallet on the table.
Kai’s eyebrows shot up, picking it up to count the bills. He hummed in content, pocketing a stack. “Woo him, Kang Taehyun. Belt out your love for him. Scream it from the top of your lungs. And, please, be honest.”
“Scream it honestly…”
<><><>
The stars were hanging in the navy horizon, yet Beomgyu was covered in his sheets, all alone. He couldn’t sleep and he was too upset to even think of going to clubs. Because, he had to admit, none of these people were ever going to be Taehyun.
Taehyun with his blunt responses and arrogant smiles. Taehyun who knew he could get anyone if he set his mind to it. Taehyun who, no matter what, always returned to Beomgyu’s side, came when Beomgyu asked. He’d call Beomgyu’s ideas stupid, yet still join him. He’d stay up with him all night, getting drunk, all for shit and giggles.
Taehyun who, despite that, was never his to keep.
Yet now? Taehyun liked him? Bullshit.
Taehyun hadn’t been disinterested, but he’s never been interested either. Beomgyu was convenient, comfortable. Beomgyu couldn’t just jump at the chance, because that was never the type of relationship they’d had. Being with Beomgyu was exciting, because it wasn’t committing. It was the perfect distraction while waiting for the one Taehyun truly wanted.
He buried his face in his pillow, a sob shaking his body. He was going through major sad girl hours, so why in the fuck was there an upbeat pop song playing outside his room?
Beomgyu had tried ignoring it, but even the thickest pillows couldn’t keep it out. He threw his sheets off. “Who the fuck dares interrupt my mourning?!”
He stomped over to his window, ripping it open. The scream, however, died in his throat.
Taehyun, stone-faced and cocky, had an uneasy smile slapped on his lips. He leaned against his car, all the windows down and his radio blasting that god-fucking-annoying — and actually quite great, had Beomgyu not been depressed about his love life — song.
“Yah, Kang Taehyun, what— What the fuck?!”
Taehyun shook his head, picking up a stack of cardboard signs.
Beomgyu paled. “Oh, Father, save my soul.”
HEY YOU!
Beomgyu pointed at himself. The color had now returned to his cheeks in the form of red splotches.
Taehyun grinned widely, flipping his board.
YES YOU!!
I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!
ALL THOSE PEOPLE I DATED WAS SO I COULD GET A GOOD FUCK FROM YOU AFTER I BROKE UP
Beomgyu yelped, hiding his hands in his face. “You can’t just write that on a sign!”
Taehyun shrugged. “What? I’m being honest with you.”
I WANT TO BE MORE THAN A FRIEND
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU LAUGH AND YOUR EYES LOOK BRIGHTER THAN THE STARS
AND WHEN YOU HOLD MY HAND WHEN I’M SAD
AND I LOVE THE WAY WHEN YOUR VOICE GOES SOFTER AND LOWER WHENEVER YOU SAY SOMETHING SERIOUS
AND I LOVE YOUR CREAKING GATE KINDA LAUGH
AND I LOVE YOUR SWEET VIEW ON LIFE AND ALWAYS MANAGING TO SEE THE BEAUTY IN THINGS
I LOVE YOU, CHOI BEOMGYU!!!! ♡♡♡
Beomgyu’s heart beat loudly, blood gushing through his veins like a unruly river. Eventually a grin cracked.
“Switch off that goddamn music, Kang Taehyun!”
“What?!”
“I fucking love you too!” Beomgyu screamed, because, fuck his neighbors. “Now get your ass up here!”
Taehyun dropped his banners, running like he needed to save his life. He then made a U-turn back to his car, locking it up safely. He took off again.
Beomgyu grinned, leaving his window and positioning himself by his door.
Taehyun appeared in sight sooner than anticipated, gasping heavily. “Hey.”
Beomgyu pulled Taehyun in by his collar, lips crashing into his. They’re breathy, which is understandable, seeing as this idiot just ran up four flights.
Beomgyu smirked. “You sure were desperate, huh?”
“Shut up and kiss me again.”
Taehyun didn’t have to tell twice; Beomgyu nipped at his neck, the kisses turning wetter, tongue running over Taehyun’s skin until he finally sunk his teeth into the soft flesh.
Taehyun let out a moan, though it was like a shock. Stumbling, pieces of clothing formed a path to the door.
As Beomgyu’s calves hit the corner of his bed, he sat them down — though still clumsy.
Taehyun seated himself in Beomgyu’s lap, as if he owned it. His back arched, as Beomgyu ran his fingers underneath his shirt, kneading his muscles.
Taehyun pulled away with a smirk. “Convinced?”
“Oh. Very.”