Chapter Text
It didn’t hit Gina until the third day of December. She didn’t realize that she never cancelled her plane ticket to St. Louis for Christmas, so the notification that her flight time has been changed by twenty minutes came as a shock. She wasn’t going to St. Louis, after all. There was no reason to anymore. Not now that her mom was gone.
They found out Terri was sick in late September, just before Gina supposed to start rehearsals for her third season in the Rockettes Christmas Spectacular. She remembered so clearly that first season, when her mom had come to see her dance at Radio City on Christmas Eve, and they both cried in the lobby afterward, unable to believe that her dream had actually come true. Gina had given up a lot to make this happen, so it was so satisfying to share that moment with her mom. Even after the diagnosis, Terri had encouraged her to stay with the show, that she’d be fine on her own as she started treatment. Gina agreed, but also arranged to take a few shows off right after the holiday to be with her mom. That’s what this ticket was for.
Neither of them thought the end would come so fast. Ovarian cancer can be like that, it sneaks up on people and all of a sudden, there’s just no time. In a matter of weeks, Gina had left the show, left New York for Missouri, and spent the last ten days by her mom’s side. She didn’t know she could cry as much as she did in those ten days, unable to understand how she’d go on without her, the only constant Gina had had in the chaos of her childhood. By the time the funeral happened, she was stoic, and didn’t know if she had any tears left to cry. But grief is tricky, and gut punches at the most unexpected times. When her old friends from East High, with Ashlyn at the front, walked into the service, she lost it, collapsing crying into Ashlyn’s arms and letting her hold her. Despite their lives taking them in such different directions, they still showed up for her when she needed them most.
And now grief was rearing its ugly head again, realizing that she was really going to be alone at a time when she needed someone. So she did what she’d done a lot lately, and picked up the phone to call Ashlyn.
“Gina, hey, how are you?” Ashlyn’s warm voice came through the phone, full of the compassion she always had.
“Hey, Ash, I’m sorry to bother you. I’m sure you’re busy...:”
“Never bothering me. What’s going on?”
“I just… I just realized I’m going to be alone for Christmas. I guess I’ve been trying not to think about it, but since I’m not performing and not going to St. Louis anymore, it’s just going to be me, alone here. I’m… having a hard time with that.”
“You’re not going to see Jamie?”
Gina sighed. Her mom had passed in late October, and while they planned the funeral, Jamie had invited her to spend Thanksgiving with him in LA. Since she'd resigned from the show, she was actually able to travel for a holiday. It was… awkward at best. She loved her brother, she did. But there were times when it seemed like their whole relationship was stitched together from disappointment and tragedy, and being around each other didn’t put either of them in a very festive mood. She was relieved when he said he was going to meet his boyfriend’s family in Minnesota over Christmas, letting her off the hook for another holiday laid heavy with the unspoken weight of obligation.
“He’s going to Minnesota with his boyfriend,” Gina answered, figuring the simple truth was easier to explain than the complex emotional drama.
Ashlyn was quiet on the other end of the line for a moment, before she said “Well, then come here.”
Gina cringed. That wasn’t at all why she’d called Ashlyn, she wasn’t fishing for an invitation. “Ashlyn, I can’t intrude on your family like that, not after all the times that I’ve…”
But Ashlyn broke in and interrupted her. “You can’t intrude on family when you ARE family, Gina. Just… just come home.”
That last word, home, is what broke her. Salt Lake was really the only place that HAD been home, ever. Even now, after being in New York for six years, it didn’t feel like home the way Salt Lake had. And the fact that she felt that way, that home ended up being somewhere her mom WASN’T, broke her heart.
Tears streamed down her cheeks for the millionth time in the last few months, but even as they did, Gina found herself nodding. “Ok, Ash. I’m… coming home.”