Work Text:
Peter Parker was no stranger to having his worldview take a one-eighty. At least, since that whole laboratory spider part (he still wasn’t sure exactly how that had worked, despite all the reading he had done on the issue…)
Once you have found yourself shooting cobwebs out of your hands and twisting taps off when trying to turn them off one fine morning, you learn to take pretty much anything in stride. Including aliens storming New York. And getting interned to the superhero team that dealt with said invasion.
Yeah, he was technically interned to Mr Stark – for the tech stuff and most definitely not the hero stuff, as the adults insisted (Oh come on, it wasn’t like he hadn’t fought before… Not that any of them would listen..)
But still, he got to be in the team. Maybe once he turned eighteen they’d let him fight too. Meanwhile, he got to hang out with them, and sometimes he got to train with them.
And got to listen in when they were planning stuff. He was probably the only civilian who knew what exactly that unexpected ‘meteor shower’ last month had been (The only reason he had managed to keep quiet about it was because he knew even Gwen wouldn’t believe him) Plus, there were some chances…
Peter looked nervously at the book in his hands. It was not all that big, but it felt heavy. Maybe just because of the leather binding, but still… And it felt warm. Sort of. Like it was breathing. That particular thought almost made him drop the book.
Oh calm down, Pete!
It wasn’t like he had taken it from Loki’s rooms – it was the one Mr Stark had been reading.
They all knew Loki was sort of teaching – or trying to teach - Mr Stark magic (much to Captain Rogers’ horror) Till date, the only thing the pair had managed was to light their laboratory (which everyone else was forbidden to enter – Mr Barton who had tried had ended up as a toad for a day) but neither were the type to get discouraged by chaos.
Peter was usually a well-behaved kid. But he was also a very curious one. It had been too much to expect that he would be able to ignore the book if it was left lying around in the common room, with none of the adults nearby to interfere.
Of course, he was not going to really do any magic – he probably couldn’t, Mr Stark had been trying for ages and he hadn’t managed to yet – but he could look, after all. Just read it and check what it was supposed to… And maybe if he could do magic, he could join the team for real…
……………………….
Director Fury really didn’t like this part of his duties – he was used to dealing with every type of character from world leaders to insane genocidal aliens in the course of his job, but dealing with the resident superhero team was the one that tasked his patience and sanity the most.
He would have delegated this to Coulson under normal circumstances, but he wanted a face to face talk with Stark (something that did nothing good for his blood pressure) – superhero who saved the world or not, questionably sane genius or not, hacking into the SHIELD database was most definitely not acceptable. Especially when the purpose of said hacking seemed to be to edit his own files to add descriptors such as ‘devilishly handsome’ and ‘infallible genius’ and to replace his file photo with a more flattering one.
Marching in, he was disappointed to find the common room – as it had been designated – to be empty except for Peter Parker poring over a book. (The kid was hanging out in the Tower way too much, anyway – too much classified material around to be allowed in the vicinity of a teenager with a talent for hacking and impulse control issues) The kid must have been really engrossed in the book.
Spider senses or not, he didn’t notice Fury till the director spoke. “Parker, where are the-“
The kid yelped and jumped a foot from the sofa “I was just looking!”
The book tumbled from his hands and crashed to the floor with a sound that was too loud for something of its size. Fury had a moment to think a superhero-intern should be more immune to being startled – and then the book began to glow.
Peter didn’t need his spidey sense to know that when a magic-book you ‘borrowed’ from a trickster god began to glow and make noises, it was a good time to start running.
He shouted a warning to Director Fury. But it was too late. The greenish gold light that surrounded the book coalesced into a steady globe of light – one that shot directly at the director, too fast for even him to dodge.
Peter could only watch in horror as the light enveloped Fury. And, a moment later, the Director was gone. The all-black superspy outfit – trenchcoat and eye patch included – dropped in a heap to the floor, with no one inside it.
Peter stared at the clothes, then at the now quiet book and then back again. Of course, Tony and Loki chose that moment to walk in.
“Hi, kid!” Tony waved casually, then noticed the pile of clothes “Costume party?”
Peter had to clear his throat a couple of times before he could convince his mouth to form coherent words. “Um, Mr. Stark? I… I think I disintegrated the Director.”
For once, even Loki didn’t have a ready response. Loki and Tony stared at the freaked out teen, at the pile of clothes, and then at the spell book still on the floor.
“Oh” Tony muttered “This will take some explaining…”
The trench coat stirred a little. Tony, who had moved closer, leapt back as a mouse crawled out of the coat’s sleeve and looked up at them, whiskers quivering.
Loki was the first to react this time “He looks adorable!”
Peter stared. On the one hand, turned into a mouse was better than disintegrated…not that the Director would consider turned into a mouse anything to cheer about either…
“I don’t think that was a disintegration spell” Tony commented to no one in particular.
The startled mouse stared up at the three. Tony had just long enough to wonder whether only Fury’s body had been changed before it darted away.
“Hey, wait!”
Tony dived to grab the scampering mouse, but only succeeded in face-planting into the cloth pile. The two people in the room with super reflexes happened to be too busy laughing or freaking out to make the grab themselves.
The mouse darted behind one of the bookshelves in the room – just enough place for a hidey-hole, and fortunately, just enough to trap him –it – him. Tony darted over and peeped into the very thin area left between the shelf and the wall
“Hey there… Nicky..”
Grimacing, he reached to grab the mouse-ified Director. Almost there – Fury couldn’t get past, now they just had to-
It was unfortunate for all parties concerned (except perhaps a giggling trickster god now sprawled on the sofa, delighted with the turn a boring morning had taken) that Coulson chose that moment to come looking for his delayed boss.
Only to find Peter Parker looking like he had seen a ghost, Loki practically on the floor with laughter, Stark poking around behind a bookshelf, and a pile of apparently discarded clothing that looked disturbingly like the missing director’s.
“What the hell?” Tony looked up for a moment, startled – only a moment.
But a moment was enough. Most mice wouldn’t have had the guts to run towards a hulking potential threat than away, but Nick Fury apparently retained enough of his original personality.
The mouse darted between Tony’s legs, evading a very off balance attempt at nabbing his tail, and took off out of the room. “Dammit!”
The agent stared at the bizarre tableau before him. “Do I even want to know what happened here?”
“Probably not” Loki admitted.
Peter looked like he was about to faint. Put the kid in front of an eldritch abomination about to eat the city, he’ll charge right in. substitute a disapproving authority figure instead, he’ll revert back to freaked out teen nerd mode instantly. It was sort of interesting.
Loki held up the book, by way of explanation
. It didn’t take Coulson long to connect the dots. “That mouse was…”
Tony nodded “Accident.”
Peter raised a shaky hand as if to confess, but Loki interrupted before Coulson noticed the teen “You really don’t want to be in the vicinity when a spell book gets dropped.”
“You turned Director Fury into a mouse.”
It was a testament to the weird turns his career had taken in the past few years that Coulson’s only reaction to this new problem was mild exasperation.
“Accident” Loki repeated, moving to hide Peter from the agent’s line of sight.
“Fine” Coulson sighed “Now set it right.”
Loki and Tony exchanged slightly uneasy glances.
“Um…” Coulson paled “You can, can’t you?”
“Yeah, but…”
“First, I’ll have to find out which spell got triggered “ Loki clarified “It’s an old book, you know. Old protection spells – might take a little while to get the antidote recipe right. Don’t want to end up turning him into a newt instead, do we?”
“Then get to work!”
“Secondly,” Loki continued serenely, holding the book as a shield between himself and the human as he talked “we need Mouse!Fury here when I cast the counter spell. Don’t want to miss the target.”
“I don’t think there will be too many humans-turned-mice running around you could confuse him with” Coulson protested.
“You never know, my dear Phil” Loki smiled “we can’t have any more accidents, can we?”
The agent cursed mentally and very vehemently. The whole day’s schedule had gone out of whack. How the hell was he supposed to write the report on this one?
Tony shrugged “Well then, guess we’ll go hunt out Director Mickey-“
“You” Coulson stepped between them and the exit “will stay right here – or in that crazy lab of yours – and work out how to set this right. We will handle the search.”
…………………………
The agent was soon to regret that particular suggestion. A mousehunt, unfortunately, was the kind of undertaking that needed a great deal of manpower – more than they had at hand.
Part of his reluctance to summon more was the need to preserve his unfortunate superior’s dignity, part was his need to preserve his own dignity.
Also, they had gotten JARVIS to seal off the Tower completely so that the super-spy mouse wouldn’t end up running off into the street. Unsealing it long enough to let in a team could be counterproductive at this point.
“Sir? It’s me, Coulson. Sir, if you are here, please come out“ he kept his tone low and soothing, the way it was supposed to be done with spooked pets. “We’ll set this right…”
…………………………..
“We’re never gonna get this right!” Peter moaned
. The beaker which held the iridescent liquid he was supposed to heat up melted and flowed off the table. Only his spidey reflexes saved Peter from getting his feet boiled. Loki looked up from the weird leaves he and Tony were burning
“Set it at simmer, kiddo” Tony tossed Peter a small bag of the powder he was supposed to add.
This was beginning to look less like magic and more like chem. lab by the minute. And a very frustrating chem. lab at that. Apparntly, Tony was beginning to think along the same lines.
He looked up rather suspiciously at Loki “Never saw you go all witchy before. Can’t you just, you know, do the usual lights and sound show thing and snap Mickey back into Nicky?”
Loki shrugged “Nah, not connecting. I didn’t cast the spell, the book did. Got to go about it the old fashioned way. At least, I hope this is the old fashioned way, I’m not all that clear on the recipe…”
Peter blanched.
…………………………..
Not for the first time, Coulson wished fervently that any of the (comparatively) sane Avengers had been at the Tower to help search.
Hell, maybe he should have taken the kid along. Spidey reflexes should come in handy to go mouse hunting.
Only, how was he supposed to know finding a mouse in a pristine, sealed (and admittedly rather big) Tower could be this much trouble?
He was down to the basement by now – if Fury!Mouse was not here… um, there weren’t any cats in the Tower, were there? Or anyone setting mousetraps?
………………………..
“Okay…” the trio crowded around the simmering liquid in the beaker. Some kind of counter-curse potion. Peter had to admit it looked sorta like melted boogies.
“Cooking was never really my thing” Tony admitted.
“Um,” Peter began nervously “do we have to make the director drink this?”
Privately, he was convinced he would rather stay a mouse forever than drink that thing. Maybe the Director would feel differently….
Loki and Tony looked at each other and then at Peter with identical grins – the type of grins that meant nothing good for its target.
“Nah” Tony shrugged.
“You are going to drink this” Loki commented.
Peter stared “Me?”
“You cast the spell” Loki pointed out. “The counter spell involves the caster taking it – a bit of it – on himself.”
They may have covered for him – albeit temporarily – with Coulson, but no way either was going to let this chance go.
“But you said we had to get the Director here!”
“And that” Tony grinned “got our intrepid agent Coulson started on a mousehunt through every floor of the Tower – one that I’ve got JARVIS to record in its whole epic entirety.”
Loki gave him a thumbs-up “Would’ve been more fun if our Mr America – sorry, Captain America – was around…”
Peter looked down at the beaker and tried not to gag. Now it had begun to look more like melted boogers than ever.
………………….
Coulson was making his third circuit of the basement and about to give up when he saw the flash of a tail darting past.
“Sir!”
Don’t yell, you idiot, he’ll – the mouse will – run off!
What followed was the most exasperating chase of agent Phil Coulson’s long career in law enforcement.
…………………….
Peter Parker had done a great many dangerous things in his short career as junior super hero – the worst, he would admit, was drinking the melted booger potion at one gulp. He had expected it to taste as bad as it looked. It didn’t. It tasted worse.
“Oogh!”
“The kid’s not gonna sprout fur or a tail or anything, is he?” Tony enquired casually “Would be awkward to explain to his aunt…”
……………………………………
The first thing Nick Fury realized was that he was holding a half chewed and more than a little moldy pop tart between his teeth.
The second was that he was crouched on a stone cold floor, completely naked.
The third was that agent Phil Coulson was standing over him with a deer-in-the-headlights look, eyes darting anywhere but here.
“Agent Coulson” It is very difficult to hold on to any shred of dignity when crouching naked in a basement (even if you did spit out the moldy pop-tart you could still taste in your mouth), but Fury managed at least a decent imitation of dignity mode. “I seem to be having some…attire issues here.”
Coulson nodded, eyes fixed at some point two feet above the director “Yes sir.”
“On the upside, I do not seem to be small or furry anymore.”
The agent nodded again, keeping his eyes carefully away, and not merely for reasons of decency and/or dignity. Nick Fury had a lot of admirable qualities – but looking good naked was not among them.
“Get me some clothes.”
“Yes sir. Anything else, sir?”
“Peter Parker’s head on a platter. Preferably in company of Loki’s and Stark’s.”