Chapter Text
It seemed like an amazing idea at the time. Vriska forbade you from building another Ceruleanifiying Laser, yes, but she said nothing about a Romancification Ray! You built your newest gadget with The Tailorbird in mind, a devious smirk on your lips whenever you imagined the humiliation you would soon be causing him.
He’s always been a thorn in your side, embarrassing you, making fun of you, and you’ve had enough! This will be your revenge. You’ve designed the gun to make the target fall in love with the first person they see after being blasted by your diabolical weapon. What if he sees some doddering old lady and ends up trailing her like a smitten fool, you and your plans forgotten? The very thought makes you chortle.
And it all plays out smoothly enough. You threaten to rob a bank, he shows up being his usual dickprince self, and then zap! You fire the gun at him. Unfortunately, something must have been off, because the gun practically tears itself apart in your hand, smoking wildly.
You cough and choke, dropping the busted weapon. Oh dear, this wasn’t supposed to happen. The smoke begins to clear, and you seen your nemesis sprawled on the ground a few feet away.
He doesn’t move, and due to the remaining smoke hazing your view you can’t even tell if he’s breathing. Your heart skips a beat at the realization he might not be. “Tailorbird?” You hurry over, your petty feud temporarily forgotten out of worry that you might’ve just accidentally killed your rival. You weren’t trying to! You just wanted to make his life hell, not actually murder him.
“Are you okay, old chap? Tailorbird? Say something!” You nudge him with your boot, panicking. It doesn’t even occur to you that maybe it might be a bad idea to stand right over someone who just got hit with a love ray.