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The day that Barley Lightfoot finally got his driver's license was an exciting day. He was ready to have a little more freedom, and he was already saving up to buy a used vehicle of his own. But the moment his license was in his hand, the young elf only had one thought in his head...
I can visit Dad...
Barley wanted so badly to visit his father's grave, and he felt so guilty that he rarely got to. The cemetery where his father was buried was too far away for him to walk to in a reasonable amount of time, and it even took too long to get there when he decided to ride his bike--which he only did once before.
So the weekend after he got his license--just a few days before the anniversary of his dad’s death--Barley told his mom he was going out for a joyride in her car, just to enjoy his new privilege. He didn’t want to tell his mother where he was actually going, just because he wanted to be there alone...alone with his thoughts.
When he left out the back door, he plucked a few daisies from their garden to bring to his dad. His father had planted those daisies long ago, and they still bloomed year after year.
On his drive to the cemetery, Barley’s heart felt heavier the closer he got. He carried the regret of not saying goodbye to his father since he was a toddler, and it weighed him down a lot sometimes, especially around the time of his father’s passing. That feeling welled up in him greatly as he pulled up to the cemetery.
As he walked through the graveyard, he pulled up the hood of his jacket when the wind started to whip against his skin a little harder. He noticed the cemetery was fairly empty and quiet, which made Barley feel a little better. He wanted to...talk to his dad, and the more people there were around him, the more uncomfortable he would feel.
He clutched the flowers to his chest as he got closer to his father’s grave--he knew he would never be able to forget where it was, with the funeral being so difficult for three year-old him to fully understand. During that time of his toddlerhood, all Barley knew was that his dad was now a stone in the ground, so he promised himself he would never forget where his dad was.
Barley found his father’s tombstone, his eyes already becoming watery as he read the engravings. His memories of leaving the hospital without his dad clouded his mind, and he wiped his tears away with the back of his hand.
He swallowed hard to clear the lump in his throat, taking a deep breath as he held the daisies to his heart, kneeling in front of the tombstone.
“Hey, Dad...” he croaked, blinking back more tears. “It’s Barley...”
He listened to the whistle of the wind, imagining his father greeting him in response. It’s so good to see you, son...
“I brought a few of your daisies,” Barley smiled slightly, laying the flowers gently on the grass. “They still grow every year...”
He imagined the smile his father would have having heard that piece of information. Oh, that’s lovely...
Barley reached in his back pocket. “I got my driver’s license a few days ago,” he spoke, pulling the card out of his wallet. “I’m already saving up for my own car...”
He pictured the proud look that his father would be sporting, happy to see his son becoming an independent young man. That’s amazing, Barley! I’m so proud of you...
“I’m glad that I’ll be able to visit you a little easier now...” Barley admitted, putting his wallet back in his pocket. “I, uh...I guess I wanted to come here to update you on things...” he trailed off, twiddling his thumbs as he stared at the daisies, then the tombstone. “I’m doing alright in school, I guess--not much exciting going on with me besides the fact that I got my license...”
I’m so proud of you that you’re persevering with your schoolwork...
“Mom’s been doing well,” Barley continued, brushing some hair out of his eyes. “She still loves to sew and bake and stuff...she learned a new recipe for brownies that’s really good...”
Barley thought his father would chuckle at that. I wish I could taste them...I’m sure they’re wonderful...I miss her so much...
“She’s still the same lady you fell in love with...” Barley smiled softly. “She misses you, though...we, uh, we all miss you...even Ian...”
How is my little Ian, anyway? I’m sure there’s so much I’ve missed...
“Oh, Dad, Ian’s the most amazing kid...” Barley smiled a happier smile this time, thinking about all the things his little brother has achieved. “He’s doing crazy good in school--he’s probably gonna make honor scroll when he graduates middle school...he’s super kind, he’s learning piano, and he’s a little shy, but he knows how to find good people...” Barley trailed off for a moment, trying to think of more things about his brother he could share. “He, uh, he still doesn’t really get magic or why I like history so much, but...I’m sure he’ll come around to it eventually...” he chuckled a little, scratching the back of his neck. “Ian’s gonna go places, though...you’d be proud of him...I know I’m proud of him...”
Barley listened to the wind whistle again, imagining his father smiling, proud of his youngest son he never got the chance to meet. I most certainly am proud of him...I’m proud of you both...
Barley let out a heavy sigh. “I really wish you were still here...I wish you got to meet Ian...”
He pictured his father placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. I also wish I was still with you...but you’ve done such a great job with your brother, Barley. Thank you for keeping that promise you made...thank you for taking care of him...
Barley felt the tears race down his cheeks, sniffling as he quickly wiped them up. “I miss you, Dad...I’m sorry I got scared...”
Barley imagined his dad wrapping him in a warm embrace, his arms safe and comforting, just like when he was a toddler. It’s not your fault, son...
Barley pressed his forehead to his father’s tombstone, allowing his tears to drip down onto the daisies. Reaching his hands out to the stone, he drummed the beat he always used to play on his father’s feet. He took a few deep breaths, once again imagining hugging his dad tight.
“Bye, Dad...” he sniffled, leaving his forehead pressed against the tombstone just a minute longer. “I’ll be back to visit again soon...I promise...” He patted the stone twice, finishing the drum beat he started that was left hanging.
He rose to his feet, wiped his teary eyes once more, and then headed back towards his mother’s car, leaving the daisies to blow in the wind on top of his father’s grave.
The next time Barley would return to his father’s grave, he would find the sprouts of two new daisies at the edge of the tombstone, daisies that were first watered with his tears.