Chapter Text
Teddy is panicking. That in itself isn’t new or surprising but the reason is. This year, things are different.
“Kids, you gotta help me!” Teddy hisses at the three Belcher children as they stroll into the living room. Bob and Linda are closing up the restaurant downstairs and Teddy has only just gotten home from his job-site. If he wasn’t so anxious he’d take his usual shower after work, except his panic stink is making an appearance for the first time in weeks. He knows from ample experience that taking a shower will just make the smell worse.
“Why are you whispering?” Gene asks in a hushed tone himself to match Teddy.
“Whew, Teddy, you smell like Tina’s locker. What’s wrong?” Louise asks gently, though she does back up towards the window. Teddy had opened it as soon as he got upstairs for this exact reason.
“You gotta help me figure out what to do for your parents’ anniversary next week!” The three look at him in vague disinterest, though Tina is slightly more enthused.
Gene also backs up to dig under the couch for the box of Uncle Nuts that he keeps there for lazy candy emergencies. “Why not just make them matching macaroni necklaces like I do every year? They love ‘em!”
Teddy briefly considers. “Maybe--no, no. It has to be something a lot better. I need your help!” He takes off his cap to twist it in his hands as he flops on the couch. The kids sit down as well to waste time until dinner. Gene eats his candy next to Teddy while Louise lays half-over the armchair and turns on the television low enough to still hear each other. Tina sits on the floor, pulls a notebook out from under the couch, and starts writing as they talk.
“Why?” Tina asks, pausing a moment to focus on Teddy.
“Because your mom loves big gestures and parties and your dad hates that stuff. And I’m actually dating them now so I can’t just give them candy and a card and flowers like I usually do. You gotta help me!” He stops and grimaces. “I mean--if you wanna and it won’t mess you up or anything.”
Louise looks over at the tall man with a raised eyebrow. Her bunny ears are brushing the floor as she lays upside down. “What are you talking about?”
“Dr. Marjorie says that depending too much on kids emotionally can break their brains. She says that’s probably why I’m--you know.” Teddy wiggles his hand near his head.
Tina, always ready to lend a hand, answers for the kids. “Don’t worry, Teddy. We’ll help you. Right, guys?”
“Yeah! If we pull off something amazing this year we’ll be set for at least a decade. By then I’ll have my own place and won’t have to worry about it again!” Louise is always on board, too--if helping others helps her. Teddy doesn’t care about her motives (and he knows that Louise is a lot sweeter than she thinks deep down).
Gene jiggles his box at Teddy and tips out a few Uncle Nuts when Teddy puts out his hand on autopilot. “Have you thought about what you might want to do?”
“Sure! I’ve thought about what I’d do for them for their anniversary if I could forever.” Teddy says, a little of the panic fading as he thinks about Bob and Linda through the years. “But everything I came up with was, ya know, kinda over-the-top when I was just their friend. But now I’m dating them and I love them and I wanna do something spectacular!”
“Sick.” Louise grimaces and changes the channel.
Tina frowns at her sister. “Louise, hush.”
“Mom and Dad are coming in.” Gene says as he peeks around the wall that blocks the staircase.
“Oh, God!” Teddy jumps to his feet in panic.
“Teddy--Teddy! Calm down!” Louise hisses. She reaches out a hand to pull Teddy back down onto the couch with a thud.
“Hey, guys!” Linda says cheerfully as she and Bob come up the stairs. Teddy is awestruck, as he is every single time that he sees them, how wonderful they both are. “We’re having meatloaf for dinner! Whew, Teddy, Honey--what’s wrong?”
Linda waves a hand in front of her face as she catches a whiff of Teddy. They’re all well aware of what that particular funk means. Teddy freezes like a deer in the headlights.
“He’s just worried about setting Reggie’s gazebo on fire again, aren’t you?” Louise says quickly. Tina opens her mouth, probably to protest the lying, but Gene and Louise both glare at her and she quickly clamps her mouth shut again.
“Are you still working on his boxes, then?” Bob asks as he starts towards the kitchen.
“Uh, yeah, yeah! He’s almost forgiven me, too!” In fairness, Reggie also forbade Teddy from going near the gazebo, but he was at least willing to let Teddy construct gardening boxes (for free, of course) for his backyard plots. It was a lucky coincidence that the possibility of damaging the gazebo again (maybe even destroying it entirely) would have set off his panic stink before he started dating Bob and Linda and went back to therapy. He could pass off his current terror as that.
Bob makes a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat. “Well, be careful and good luck.” He heads to the kitchen to start dinner. Linda lingers a moment longer.
“I know a shower probably won’t help, Ted, but why not go hop in for a bit to calm down? I can come get you when dinner’s ready.”
“Uh, OK! Great idea! I’ll do just that.” Teddy grins maniacally at his girlfriend as she smiles back and then goes into their bedroom.
As soon as the door clicks shut, Teddy’s hissing in desperation again. “Help me!”
“OK, look.” Louise says, sitting up properly to take in her siblings and her Caroling Dad. “Teddy’s watching us on Saturday while Mom and Dad go to that small business convention, right?”
“Yeah, they’ll be gone for hours!” Gene has finished his box of candy and is rooting around in the lumpy couch cushions for any surprise snacks. He pulls a corn chip free and munches to his sisters’ disgust.
“So on Saturday we find something amazing at the mall or plan something or whatever. We can talk when Mom and Dad aren’t around until then.”
Teddy’s anxiety ebbs. He knew that the kids would think of something. They’re the best kids that he knows. Of course, they’re Bob and Linda’s.
“Great idea, Louise!” Tina smiles at her sister. “Don’t worry, Teddy. We’ll make this anniversary their absolute best.”
Teddy takes a deep breath as he gets up to go shower. He looks around the room at the younger Belchers with a wide smile, full of affectionate gratitude.
“You kids are the best, you know?”
Louise smirks but it’s just as affectionate in return. “Yeah, we know.”