Chapter Text
Aziraphale and Crowley stood in Barclay Square after their dinner at The Ritz. The sun was softly setting, casting tangerine hues across the city. Aziraphale sat down on a park bench, and motioned for Crowley to follow him.
“The world is lovely once it’s been saved, isn’t it?” he mused. “All is right for us now! It’s just right and pleasant.”
Crowley sat silently, which Aziraphale considered unusual for the demon-- usually he had some sort of witty remark to make, no matter the subject.
“Crowley… is there something wrong?” He inquired quietly. The demon stared at his feet, and one could feel the biting stare even from behind his sunglasses.
“It’s nothing, angel,” he replied, but there was a tinge of discomfort to his voice. Aziraphale frowned, his eyes glimmering with empathy. He had known Crowley all these years, and he had never seen him quite so… dejected. Especially now that everything was perfect.
“You can tell me anything,” he stated kindly, “We’re... friends, after all.”
Crowley stretched up, and pushed his slender arms against his knees, like a father that had just finished giving his son a pep talk.
“Right, well. Friends. Yes,” he agreed sharply. He was trying hard to sound sincere, but Aziraphale could tell he was lying.
“Are we not… friends? Crowley?” He managed, afraid of everything going wrong. Crowley slowly turned to face him, the look on his face shockingly depressed.
“Oh… oh, Crowley…” Aziraphale whispered, “Was it something I said? Something I did? I can be terribly incompetent on occasion, you know.” Crowley gave him a bitter grin.
“Nothing you did at all, angel,” he replied, “In fact… in fact… well… nevermind.” He pursed his lips as if he had eaten something sour. Aziraphale was growing rather concerned.
“Oh, just tell me, Crowley,” he prompted. “I really won’t mind anything you say, no matter how far from grace. I’m not with the angels anymore, you know. I…I suppose I never really was.”
Crowley’s eyebrows quirked at that. “Well- Aziraphale-” he began. Then Aziraphale cut in. “No, wait,” he asserted, “Crowley. That’s quite enough, now. I really shouldn’t be pushing you like this. I take back what I said.” Crowley looked relieved, but in an almost bittersweet sort of way..
Aziraphale drew a large breath, “Have you ever heard of…human love?” He asked. Crowley coughed loudly, as if he was spittaking.
“Err, well, yes. We’ve lived on Earth for six thousand years, you know. There’s been plenty of that.”
Aziraphale nodded, “Alright then, I thought so,” he replied, “Well, then. Have you ever… experienced it?” This was too much for Crowley, he looked away. If Aziraphale noticed his discomfort, he chose to ignore it.
“What I’m trying to say is…” he started, “Um, perhaps it would be better to just show you?” Crowley turned back to face him, his sunglasses not quite managing to hide his anxiety.
“How- how do the humans do it?” Aziraphale mumbled to himself, “Ah- oh, yes.”
Aziraphale slowly closed his eyes, rolled back his shoulders, and adjusted his bow tie. Then he quickly leaned in-- before he could change his own mind-- and pecked Crowley on the cheek. There was a silence between them. The demon and the angel. They had known each other, helped each other, loved each other, for six thousand years. They had never kissed once. Never even an ‘I love you’. Aziraphale had felt Crowley’s feelings from The First Day.
And until quite recently, Aziraphale had been bound to Heaven. Bound to standards. First of all, an angel being in love is unusual, and being in love with a demon is, as goes without saying, entirely out of the question. But according to who? The same could be said on Hell’s side of things. But now they were free. They were really, truly, infinitely free.
Crowley stared at Aziraphale, his mouth wide open. Aziraphale stared back, his eyes glistening with terror. “Oh, Heaven…” he whispered, the fear lacing his voice. “I can’t believe I really did that…you must hate me now, don’t you?”
Crowley’s agape mouth lifted into a grin. “Aziraphale…” he began, “I could never hate you.” Then it was Crowley that leaned in this time, with a newfound confidence. It was brief, but filled with all the love and passion in the Universe. When they drew back, their gazes locked, and Aziraphale kissed him one last time, delicately, and it was as if he had performed a miracle. He held his hand on the nape of Crowley’s neck, and ran his fingers through his wild red hair. And they… sat there. The sun had just set, the last light through the trees casting bright pinks and oranges across their faces.
“Did we really just…?” Aziraphale asked, finally breaking the silence.
Crowley nodded. “Yes,” he replied simply.
Aziraphale looked slightly panicked. “This is highly irregular, you know.” he said, “I mean, an angel and a demon can’t act like humans, no matter how long they’ve been on Earth.”
Crowley scoffed. “Aziraphale, haven’t you noticed? We’re hardly the same anymore. I’m really not a demon, and you’re really not an angel. We’re not mortal, per se, but when it comes to spirit, I think we might be as human as they come.”
Aziraphale nodded. “My apologies… I’m the one who started this, anyways. I’m just not used to it. I’m just a tad… conflicted, if I’m being perfectly honest.”
Crowley sighed softly, leaning back to observe the now velvet sky. “I get it, you know. It’s not what Hell expected of me, either, but honestly I don’t really care. Those angels in Heaven, they’re a different kind of strict. The kind that makes you want to hide. That’s it, isn’t it?”
Aziraphale smiled softly, “Well, yes,” he began, and then his eyes lit up, “Quite yes… actually. I think the nature of our relationship is even frowned upon by humans, occasionally. Humans, they’re complicated. Like us, really. And they have all these complex expressions…when they, well, love each other.”
Crowley sat up a little straighter, his posture stiff. “Do they, now?” He felt queasy, but also warm inside. It was a terrible feeling, one that crept up in his throat and made his chest all tight. He might’ve described it as anticipation, if he didn’t know any better.
Aziraphale nodded slowly, “Why, yes…perhaps…just perhaps, you might tempt me with one of them?”
Crowley started to sweat a bit-- metaphorically of course, as his body didn’t have a need for the function. “Uhh, like which one?” he stalled nervously.
Aziraphale raised an eyebrow. “Do I really need to tell you?” He inquired, “I believe you should know it.”
“I don’t know what you mean, angel.” Crowley deflected, earning a dramatic eye roll from Aziraphale.
“Crowley…” he sighed, “Isn’t this supposed to be… romantic?” Crowley’s eyes widened, unseen, under his dark glasses. The pressure of his angel’s stare was getting to him.
“Alright,” he started, giving in to Aziraphale’s request. “Principality Aziraphale, former angel of Heaven, not exactly demon nor human either… I have been by your side for six millennia. From the first moment I saw you, I was... overtaken.” He took Aziraphale’s hands, enclosing them within his own.
“I have to admit, I’m afraid, angel. I’m afraid of even admitting I’m afraid. But I’ll admit it…and you know why?” Aziraphale couldn’t even smile, he just gazed into Crowley’s eyes.
“Why?” he whispered, his voice scarcely audible. Crowley gave a light laugh, so tender and caring. “For you, my angel. Every moment, every second of the past six millenia I have spent in your presence has been a gift, one I still sometimes think is merely a dream. I’m ashamed it took this long to realize, but… I love you. Always have.”
The following minutes were silent, as all was still. The trees, the birds within them, even the clouds-- it was like time was frozen just for them, just for this moment. Neither of the pair did so much as move, and scarcely even blinked. They simply sat, and thought-- and the world waited alongside them. How had all these centuries accumulated in this one moment? How was it finally here, the moment they’d both wanted for so long-- without hardly even realizing. Each, of course, assumed there was an unspoken sort of agreement there, but… hearing the words aloud certainly made things very different, didn’t it? In a way Heaven’s paperwork and rules never quite could.
Aziraphale finally stirred, the tension in his shoulders releasing as he let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. He thought for one more long second, about everything, and then he spoke.
“I love you too.”