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Minsoo's always felt off.
Always felt not quite enough, like a glass half-empty when people asked for a glass half-full.
He feels like they have their expectations, and they dangle them over his head, and - god, even his height just goes to show how he feels. He could jump as high as he can and still never dream of reaching what people want from him.
He doesn't feel like he falls in line with most people, either.
He doesn't click with girls, and even with some guys. His only friends are his groupmates — aka people who are forced to spend time with him — and the assorted online friend or two, acquaintances he will never get to know beyond the surface level information of name-age-timezone-pronouns, people he calls friends even though their friendship is built on playing games and not really talking.
And then there is Dongho.
Minsoo's not the most observant, but he feels like he clicks with Dongho. They are alike, somehow.
They don't talk much anymore, either. They're roommates and they don't talk much.
Minsoo doesn't mind that. They click, and even though they don't talk, he still thinks of Dongho as his best friend.
After all, Dongho really doesn't mind that he is in some way abnormal. Dongho simply sees him as Minsoo, and that is all he could ask for in a true friend.
It's not something Minsoo's ever voiced before — that he feels a degree removed from everyone else — but the night air breaks down some sort of barrier in his mind, and Minsoo sighs.
"Y'know," he says casually, feet dangling through the railing of their balcony, "you were my first real friend."
"Same here," Dongho says, a soft smile on his face.
"...really?"
"Yeah," Dongho shrugs. "I mean... I was always sort of the "weird kid," if you get what I mean. I just... I didn't fit in, and I was ok with that."
"...yeah, I... I had the same thing. Kinda never went away, really. The whole... not feeling like I fit in."
"With what's popular? Or..."
"With... with people, I guess," Minsoo hums.
"Yeah..." Dongho sighs. "I mean... I kinda... know I don't really fit in, so..."
"...what do you mean?" Minsoo presses gently.
Dongho shrugs. "I mean that I'm... agender? Like... I'm not a guy or a girl. I just don't have a gender. Does... does that make sense?"
"Oh, yeah. Gender... gender's kinda stupid anyways," Minsoo says quietly.
"...have you figured out anything, then? About why you don't feel like you fit in?"
It's a quiet invitation that Minsoo does not want to take tonight.
"No, not really... not yet. If you don't mind me asking, can you... uh... can you go over your pronouns and all that?"
Dongho beams. "Well, he/him for work and in public, but at home I'm kinda fine with anything!"
"...nothing you prefer?"
"I mean... I prefer they/it, but if that's too hard-"
"Shhh. If it makes you comfortable, nothing is too difficult."
Minsoo smiles when he sees a tell-tale flush on Dongho's cheeks, and he scoots over to curl up in their arms.
"Wanna tell me about how you figured the whole gender thing out?"
"It might help you out, so... sure!" Dongho clears its throat, resting their chin on Minsoo's head. "Read for a story, then?"
"Anytime," Minsoo says quietly.
———
The two of them sit on the balcony weeks later, and they stare up at the same sky they did last time.
Dongho's growing their hair out after finally talking to the stylists, and it's excited. Minsoo's happy for them.
Happy, and yet he can feel that vibrating in his veins that proves he is terrified.
He has no reason to be — this is Dongho, for crying out loud, Dongho loves him — but he is scared anyways.
"...Dongho?" Minsoo cringes at the way his voice cracks, but he continues anyways. "I... I think I figured out why I never fit in."
Dongho raises an eyebrow, a quiet sign it wants Minsoo to continue.
"...I... I don't think I'm a guy...? At least not fully... so... yeah."
"Do you wanna put a name to what you are?"
Minsoo shakes his head. "Not really. I... I'm me, so I think that's-"
"You're Minsoo... that's the best way to describe you," Dongho says kindly. "You're too different to be anyone else."
"...I'm glad you think so."
"I don't just think so, I know so. Now come here."
Minsoo winds up in Dongho's arms again, and he smiles. "You're so warm..."
"I have too much love to give," Dongho sighs theatrically, "So now I am a human heater. Woe is me!"
"It means I get to be warm when you hug me, and I think that is a blessing."
"That I get to hug you? Because I agree."
Minsoo's not quite sure what to say in response to that. To think that someone thinks it is a blessing to hug him...
"...y'know, I think I'm ok with not fitting in. We can not fit in together."
Dongho hums. "No one I'd rather not fit in with, I think."
"...I agree. Thanks for being my... my person."
"Thank you for being my person."
Minsoo smiles to himself — themself? — and lets Dongho tighten its grip just a bit. They are at home here.