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The first thing Buck thought when he heard Eddie say, “I’m leaving the 118.” was, no.
Literally, no.
After everything they’ve been through, Eddie’s leaving. And he gets it, he hates that he gets it. If Buck had a son of his own who was worried about his safety everyday he goes to work, he too would probably think about leaving.
But dammit, if there isn’t so much hypocrisy there, Buck is sure he could laugh all day.
The news has Buck spiraling and he knows why now. He knows it’s not fair to continue things with Taylor when he doesn’t feel the same way, he never has. He just thought he could move on with her but he knows it’s never going to happen and Eddie’s slipping from his fingers and he can’t let him go.
So that’s how Buck finds himself on the porch of Eddie’s home, knocking instead of using his key.
When the door opens a moment later, Eddie frowns, confused. “Don’t you have the key?”
“Why does it matter? You’re leaving, right?” Buck blurts, not being able to stop the words from coming out of his mouth but come on, can you blame him?
Eddie’s frown deepens. “What?” He asks, stepping out as he closes the door behind him. Chris is fast asleep and whatever is about to happen, he doesn’t want to wake the boy up. Not after the night he’s had.
“You’re a hypocrite, Eddie, you know that, right?” Buck snaps. There’s no holding back now.
Eddie scoffs, crossing his arms. “Okay. What the hell is going on, Buck?” He demands. Buck throws his hands up. “You know exactly what’s going on! It’s about you leaving!” He shouts.
“Keep your voice down.” Eddie pleads, glancing around. Buck shakes his head. “How can I?! Not so long ago, I was blaming myself for Maddie and Chim and I told you guys that I was going to be putting in for a transfer. You are the one who told me I was stuck with you guys! That I was stuck with you!” He recalls.
“Buck—“
“And now you’re telling us, you’re telling me, that you’re leaving the 118? Just like that? You didn’t even come to talk to me about it, you just decided this on your own!” Buck continues.
Eddie sighs. “Buck—“
“You’re so full of shit, Eddie! You can’t do this! You can’t just leave us! You can’t leave me! We’re partners, we’re supposed to have each other’s backs!” Buck cries.
“I’m not leaving you!” Eddie yells, exhaling sharply as he runs a hand through his hair. “Evan, I am not leaving you.” He repeats.
Buck laughs humorously. “It sure as hell feels like it. You decided this all on your own, you didn’t come to me for help. You just told me about Chris’ problems. You didn’t tell me what you were thinking.” He states.
“Because how can I? Buck, you get so worried when the smallest things happen to me or Chris. And I’m not saying I hate it, because I don’t. I love you for that, Evan. But I am not leaving you. I could never leave you. Not after everything we’ve been through.” Eddie explains.
“But you’re leaving the 118.” Buck points out. Eddie exhales deeply. “Yes.” He confirms.
Buck frowns deeply and Eddie’s heart breaks when he sees a tear slip down his cheek. He reaches up to wipe it away and when he goes to pull his hand back, Buck grabs it, leaning into his touch.
Eddie keeps his hand there instead and steps forward, pressing their foreheads together as they close their eyes and inhale deeply. “I have to do this for Chris. He’s my son, Buck. He shouldn’t be thinking like this, not at this age. He’s still too young.” He says.
“I know,” Buck whispers. “I just—I thought—“
“I know what you thought. But I’m not leaving you, Evan. Okay? I’m not. I’m not going anywhere.” Eddie says.
Buck nods. “Okay.” He replies, his voice cracking and Eddie sighs, sliding his hand to the back of Buck’s neck to pull him in for a hug.
Almost immediately, Buck wraps his arms around Eddie’s hips, hiding his face into his shoulder. Eddie scratches lightly at the hair on the nape of his neck, turning his head just a little to press his lips to the skin of Buck.
“I will always have your back, Evan. Always.” Eddie promises.
“Good.” Buck mumbles and Eddie chuckles quietly.
They pull back and Buck stares down at him. “You told me you loved me.” He says.
Eddie raises an eyebrow. “You’re just now realizing that?” He asks. Buck huffs. “I can be slow sometimes, okay? You know that. You tease me all the time about it.” He states.
“That’s true. And yes, I do love you. I have for a really long time now.” Eddie says. Buck smiles softly and Eddie leans in to peck his lips. They share another smile before Buck pulls him back in for a proper kiss, but they pull back before it turns heated.
“I’m sorry for not coming to you about this first. You’re right, I should’ve.” Eddie murmurs. Buck nods. “But we’ll figure it out. We always do, don’t we?” He asks.
Eddie returns the nod. “Yeah, we do,” he steps back and laces their fingers together. “Stay?”
“Always.” Buck says. Eddie smiles lightly and opens the door, tugging him inside.