Chapter Text
December 1st, 2018
To be quite honest, I only stumbled upon this when I was unpacking to move to my new apartment. I haven't written in here for a long time.
I've decided to keep this journal alive for the time being. I want something to remember this next month. The last month until I can spend the rest of my life with Ash.
He hasn't arrived yet. He's still in America - recovering. We've been keeping in contact everyday since I left. Max helps set up the 'meets' so I can talk to him in the hospital. The first time was the hardest. We'd only been speaking on the phone for the first few days after he'd come out of his coma, so it was a bit of a shock to see how badly he'd been injured.
My heart broke a little when I saw him for the first time. His face had been pale - his golden yellow hair muted in the harsh hospital light. Even his eyes, which always had some sort of spark, were dull. The grainy video couldn't hide that.
Now, though, his usual attitude was slowly seeping back into him. It made me so happy to see him argue with Max; normally their arguments were about Ash needing to eat something or him getting off the call so Max could use his laptop again. It was childish, but it was a step forward.
The worst was in the afternoons, though. The time zone means we have to talk during early morning or late evening and my afternoons are when Ash should be asleep. But sometimes, Ash phones me around midday. The nightmares plague him. I'm not there to hold him as he weeps. I can only offer a few words over the phone, although I know they don't help much.
A month. 30 and a half days. Then I can see him. Hold him. Talk to him in a way that isn't limited by technology.
I can still hardly believe that he's giving up his life in New York to live with me. It still doesn't feel real. I hope that after he moves, he can start healing properly. So that's what I'm doing now. I'm creating a space that he can relax in.
That's why I'm moving out of my parents' home. He needs a stable environment and my childhood home is not one of them. I just hope my sister will be okay on her own. She took my stay in America the hardest. I don't think she quite likes Ash because of it. She believes he's taken me away from her.
Although, what I'm most worried about is him meeting my parents. I've debated just not taking him to meet them, but he'd no doubt insist. With my father in the hospital, and my mother in someone else's bed, I stopped being able to rely on them. I don't even know when last I had a normal conversation with them. It's always small talk with my mother, and deathbed wishes from my father.
Maybe things will change when he comes here, maybe they won't.
These 30 days will go by in a flash, I just know it. Then I'll be with my Ash and we can finally start a life together.
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Eiji ruled off a line at the end of the entry. He wasn't entirely pleased at how it had come out, but it was decent enough. His English scrawl was loopy and uneven. When he'd found his old journal in a pile of his high school textbooks, he was struck with the idea to do some journaling. The idea was that both him and Ash would write a journal entry for every day until they met and then let each other read them when they finally reunited.
30 days. 31 entries. That was all there was in-between us.
He chucked the journal onto the floor of his empty bedroom. It landed with a thud. The apartment he'd moved into was almost barren. It had only been two days since he'd moved in.
Eiji got up from the floor of his makeshift bed (it probably couldn't be considered a bed, more like a mat), and went to close the windows of the apartment. The winter chill made his hands fumble with the unfamiliar locks as he shut them. The apartment he and Ash had virtually shopped for, was on the fourth floor of a modern-styled building and overlooked the sea. They even had their own balcony that faced the sun as it set over the horizon, and dipped into the ocean.
Ash hadn't seen the spectacular sunset yet. Eiji had refused to send him any photos until he actually arrived in Japan. There had been quite a numerous things Eiji had refused to do for Ash. It came from a relentless feeling that he wasn't good enough; that Ash couldn't want to come to Japan just for him. So he made sure there were things that Ash could look forward to when - if - he decided to leave Eiji.
Ping.
His phone's annoyingly loud ringer alerted him from the other side of the apartment. He snapped the last window shut and quickly ran back to the bedroom and picked up his phone. It was a text from Ibe-san, with a photo he'd taken in America. He linked an article with it as well. Ibe-san had won a photography competition! With a further examination of the photo, he saw that the photo was of him and Ash.
They both had their backs turned on the camera and faced towards the sunset. It was taken a good distance away from the both of them, so neither of them had noticed. To any outsider, the people in the photo were unremarkable. But Eiji could easily pick out Ash's lean body next to his smaller one. The memory came back to him, in a sudden vivid flash. He and Ash were holding hands, sitting on a hill back at Cape Cod, talking about something. No doubt Ibe-san had begged someone to lend him a camera so he could capture this photo. Who lent him the camera? Eiji couldn't guess.
Eiji smiled, then frowned at the memories that came with Cape Cod. They weren't all pleasant. With a sigh, he forwarded the article and photo to Ash. It was a photo of the two of them after all. Unsurprisingly, once Eiji had finished brushing his teeth and gotten ready for bed, there was a reply from Ash.
And so that was how Eiji accidentally stayed up texting him until 2am. When he finally glanced at the time, he cursed Ash for being so damn talkable. That didn't stop them from talking for another hour.
Finally, Ash had to go, and wished him a good night. Eiji chucked his phone to the same place he'd thrown his journal and fell into a dark, dreamless sleep.