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Kiyoomi couldn’t stand Atsumu. He didn’t hate or dislike him, he just couldn’t stand him. He was loud and would call him the stupidest names.
Why didn’t Kiyoomi dislike him?
Atsumu was a really good volleyball player and he would always respect Kiyoomi’s boundaries. That gesture made Kiyoomi feel more welcome on the Jackals.
But he still couldn’t stand Atsumu.
“Omi-Omi~!” Atsumu was waving his hand and started walking over to Kiyoomi. “How was yer weekend? Ya did anythin’ fun?”
Ah yes, the accent. Sometimes Kiyoomi couldn’t understand Atsumu at all, especially when said setter was drunk. But now it was Monday morning and Kiyoomi hadn’t slept well. He didn’t want to deal with a loud obnoxious Atsumu.
“It’s Monday morning”, Kiyoomi said, as if it would make clear to Atsumu to be quiet. “Don’t be so loud, Miya”, Kiyoomi added.
Atsumu rolled his eyes. “Haven’t slept enough? Ya know, Omi, ya should properly rest on the weekends and not party so much.” The blonde was grinning.
“Get out of my face, Miya. I won’t hesitate to strangle you.”
“Is that a promise?”
Kiyoomi’s face turned a very deep shade of red. Even though Atsumu would comment things like that almost all the time, Kiyoomi never got used to it. He could feel the warmth on his cheeks and he hated his body for reacting that way.
“That’s kinky, Omi-kun”, Atsumu laughed.
Kiyoomi just walked away from him. Any other day he would have had a comeback, but not Monday mornings. To his surprise, Atsumu stopped with the comments during practice. To Kiyoomi that seemed off. That was very much unlike Atsumu.
But maybe Atsumu wanted to be nice and leave Kiyoomi alone. Well, he was nice in general, but he just seemed so off to Kiyoomi that day. And his off feeling wasn’t wrong.
When Atsumu’s sets became sloppy, everyone was confused.
“Atsumu, you okay?”, Meian asked.
“Yeah, sorry. I think I just need a water break”, Atsumu said with a half-smile on his lips. Meian let him have his water break and for some reason Kiyoomi got worried. Something like that had never happened before. Atsumu probably was the most hardworking one on the team, so this was very unusual.
Practice continued and Atsumu was back at it. He still didn’t look okay. Nobody except Kiyoomi seemed to be noticing that. Atsumu was about to do his jump serve, when suddenly he stopped right after throwing the ball in the air. His eyes were barely open, and he collapsed to the ground.
Kiyoomi stood a few steps away when everyone rushed towards Atsumu. He didn’t want to be in between his tall and sweaty teammates.
“Atsumu? Hey Atsumu, wake up.”
They took off Atsumu’s shirt, thinking that maybe he got too hot and had him sit up. Meian was sitting behind him, pouring water on his hand and gently tapping Atsumu’s face with it.
He was slowly coming back to consciousness. Everyone was staring at him. He looked so exhausted and so much unlike himself.
“Hey Atsumu, you know where you are?”
“Yeah… the gym.” He was staring at the ground.
“Are you dizzy? Do you feel like throwing up or anything?”, Meian kept asking questions to make sure he was alright.
Atsumu slightly shook his head. “Feelin’ fine. Sorry fer interrupting practice.”
Meian slowly got up with Atsumu and was supporting him in case he lost consciousness again. “I’m going to drive you to see a doctor.”
“No, it’s nothin’, I swear. I didn’t have breakfast this morning, I’m sorry. I was running late so I didn’t eat. I’ll just go home and rest, okay?” Kiyoomi thought that Atsumu was acting very defensive.
“Are you sure, Tsumu? That didn’t look fine, you know”, Bokuto said.
“You should see a doctor”, Inunaki added.
“I’m fine, guys. I’ll just go home and see you all tomorrow.”
“Take all the time you need, Atsumu”, Meian said. “I’ll drive you home.”
Atsumu didn’t feel like protesting so he just let Meian drive him home.
“I’ll pick you up on my way to the gym on Wednesday so you can drive back home with your car.”
The setter was confused. “Wednesday???”
“Yes, Wednesday. Take a day off. You shouldn’t be overworking yourself.”
Atsumu sighed, but there was nothing he could do. Whatever Meian said, counts. So Atsumu stayed home the next day. It felt weird to him since he usually wouldn’t take days off. When he went back to practice on Wednesday, he looked normal to everyone.
“You look well-rested, Atsumu-san.” Hinata smiled at him. “Guess taking a day off wasn’t too bad.”
Kiyoomi was staring at Atsumu from afar. He was glad that Atsumu was okay and could practice again. He would never admit it, but he felt safer around the team with Atsumu being there. Atsumu would always make sure Kiyoomi was okay in difficult situations. Also, he really liked the setters tosses.
“Ya missed me, Omi-kun?” Atsumu was grinning.
“You wish.”
Honestly, Kiyoomi was always looking forward to their daily banter. It made him feel included and just… normal.
During practice that week Kiyoomi noticed something. Atsumu looked okay, but his gameplay was still off. His usual perfect sets didn’t feel that perfect in his hand anymore. But no one except Kiyoomi seemed to be noticing that.
The next week had begun, it was Monday again. It was mid practice when Osamu entered the gym. Atsumu looked annoyed about that, when usually he loved having his brother stop by.
“What’re ya doin’ here?”, he asked his twin.
“I need ta talk to ya, Tsumu.”
They both went out to the hallway. Atsumu was very much uninterested in talking to his brother.
“Ya can’t just interrupt practice like that, Samu.”
“Mhm, yer ignoring my messages and calls. How else was I gonna check up on you? Ya should be home.”
“No. I have practice, I’m right where I should be.” Atsumu was impatient. He wanted to get back inside and continue practice.
“Ya should be home. This isn’t good fer ya, Tsumu”, Osamu sighed. “Meian told me you collapsed last week. That should’ve been yer sign to rest.”
Atsumu hated that Meian and Osamu were good friends. He didn’t need his captain to spill happenings from practice to his brother.
“I took a day off. I’m fine, ya can leave now.” Atsumu started walking towards the gym, wanting to get away from this conversation.
“They don’t know, do they? Ya haven’t told anyone it seems.”
Atsumu stopped. “There’s no need to. Don’t need anyone’s pity and getting kicked off the team.” He stared down at his hands. “I wanna go to the Olympics, after that ya can do whatever ya want with me.”
“The Olympics are in two years, Tsumu.”
“Okay, and?” He turned around and looked at Osamu. “Don’t think I’ll be around ‘til then?”
Osamu sighed. “I’m just worried about ya.”
“Don’t be. Just support me, please. It’s my wish.”
Atsumu knew exactly how to make Osamu feel bad. How could Osamu say no to that? As if he wasn’t going to support his twin’s wish.
“Fine. But please don’t overwork yerself. And actually return my calls, ya ass.”
Atsumu rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah.” He slightly smiled at Osamu. “Love ya, Samu.”
“Love ya too, Tsumu.”
Osamu left and Atsumu stood there for a moment, taking this opportunity for a little break. When he turned around to walk back to the gym, he saw Kiyoomi standing at the end of the hallway. Atsumu just kept walking and basically ignored Kiyoomi.
But he couldn’t stop himself from thinking.
How much did he hear? Did he even hear anything? Is he gonna tell Meian that something is up?
A few weeks had passed. Kiyoomi hadn’t asked Atsumu what him and Osamu talked about. Atsumu was glad that he either didn’t know or just didn’t ask. He also thought, that Kiyoomi maybe didn’t even care. At least that wouldn’t surprise him.
But Atsumu kept lacking during practice. Things that he would do with ease, exhausted him. He was cursing on the inside, knowing very well that either Meian or Coach Foster would want to talk to him. Kiyoomi kept glancing at Atsumu. Of course he heard the twins talk and he was wondering what exactly was up with Atsumu.
It was Coach Foster that pulled Atsumu aside to talk. He was nervous. He didn't think he had ever been this nervous before in his entire life.
“Miya, are you alright?”, he asked.
“Yeah, why do ya ask?”
“You’re off your game. You’re messing up the easiest sets and serves, that’s very much unlike you. Is something up with you? Do you have any personal problems?”
This was his chance to tell the truth.
“Sorry, everything’s fine. Been feelin’ very homesick recently.”
Coach Foster was eyeing Atsumu. He didn’t buy it. “Visit your family on the weekend. I need you to be on top of your game, Miya. You’re very important to the team.”
Atsumu nodded. “Okay, Coach. I promise I’ll be at my best again.”
The setter stayed afterhours that day. He wanted to up his game. He needed to. But he kept messing up his serves. He was frustrated and exhausted.
To his surprise, Kiyoomi entered the gym in his casual clothes. They looked at each other for a moment, Kiyoomi then proceeded to walk to the bench and pick up his water bottle. He wanted to say something to Atsumu, anything. He didn’t want to leave without saying anything.
“You look exhausted. You should go home, Miya.”
He could hear Atsumu’s heavy breathing. “I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.” Kiyoomi didn’t mean to say that. Atsumu had never looked at Kiyoomi this confused.
“Yes, I am. Why do ya care?”
This was odd. Atsumu had never been this defensive towards Kiyoomi. He was confused and for some reason, it hurt him.
“I don’t.”
“Then ya can leave.”
Kiyoomi felt a lump in his throat. He didn’t like this at all, but he did what Atsumu said. He was leaving, but he stopped before walking out.
“I heard you and your brother talk.”
“Good fer ya.”
“He told you to not overwork yourself, which is exactly what you’re doing right now.”
Atsumu sighed loudly. “What do ya want from me? Just leave me be, I don’t get all up on yer shit either. Just pretend ya never heard Samu and I talk.”
“But At-“
“Please, Omi. Just go.” The blonde had covered his face with his hands, sounding frustrated.
Kiyoomi chose to not keep bother him that day and left for real. But he couldn’t stop thinking about it. So something actually was up with Atsumu and it was more than concerning.
The next day Atsumu stayed after practice again, and so did Kiyoomi. They both didn’t talk, each of them just focusing on themselves. Well, Atsumu was, Kiyoomi was not. The dark-haired kept glancing over at Atsumu, to make sure he’s okay. He hadn’t noticed he was just standing there, until Atsumu spoke up.
“Stop starin’ at me.”
“I’ll tell your brother.” Not the response Atsumu expected.
“What?” He had turned his head and now was looking at Kiyoomi.
“You heard me. If you keep overworking yourself, I’ll tell your brother about it.” Kiyoomi felt like a little child, but it’s the only help he could offer Atsumu without refusing.
“Are ya serious? Ya gonna tell on me to my brother?” Kiyoomi nodded. “Okay, go ahead. Not like he can stop me anyway.”
“I’ll tell Meian and Coach Foster.”
“What the fuck, Sakusa?” The name change bugged Kiyoomi more than it should. “I always leave ya alone whenever ya want it, why can’t ya do the same fer me?”
“Because whatever it is you have going on, is nothing good. You always look so tired and exhausted; this isn’t good for you. Just go home and rest.”
Atsumu stared at him for a while, before grabbing his stuff and walking past Kiyoomi. “I liked ya more when ya didn’t care.” Then he just left Kiyoomi alone in the gym. This topic was affecting Kiyoomi more than he had assumed.
At home, Atsumu wanted to scream and cry. Instead, he just sat on his couch and stared at his hands.
Why did Kiyoomi had to hear Samu and I talk? Why does he even care? I thought he disliked me? What the fuck is going on? What am I gonna do if he actually tells anyone on the team?
He was more frustrated than ever. It just sucked.
Kiyoomi never told the team, but the team got more suspicious of Atsumu. He was late a lot and would take a lot of short breaks mid practice. Then one day he broke down again. It was then in Meian arms, Kiyoomi noticed how much weight Atsumu had lost. He looked smaller than ever and had a lot of bruises on his body, that definitely didn’t come from playing volleyball.
“Atsumu? Hey, Atsumu?”, Meian was trying to get Atsumu to stay conscious.
Atsumu wanted to respond, but he couldn’t. Instead, he threw up right on the spot. Inunaki rushed to get towels and Hinata rushed to get water. Atsumu felt miserable, he started tearing up. He was embarrassed that this even happened. He thought he could handle it.
“Tsum, what’s wrong? You look like you’re sick”, Bokuto said.
Meian was cleaning up Atsumu’s face, everyone staring at the setter, waiting for an answer. Kiyoomi was just staring, wanting to say something but not expose Atsumu. It wasn’t his place to tell everyone that something was wrong, but he didn’t even know what exactly. He would also get a lot of shit for not saying something way earlier.
“Yeah, I’m sick”, Atsumu said followed by coughing. “I have cancer.”
-
Atsumu was brought to the hospital and his family got contacted. The whole team was standing outside of Atsumu’s room when Osamu jogged up to them.
“What happened?”, he asked Meian out of breath.
“He broke down and threw up and oh, he told us he has cancer?”
Osamu stared at Meian, not believing that Atsumu actually told them.
“So he really does have cancer?”, Meian asked when Osamu didn’t respond.
“Yeah”, Osamu sighed. “I’m sorry fer not tellin’ ya, he didn’t want me to. I know that wasn’t responsible of me, but it was his wish ta keep playin’.”
Meian sighed. “How long has he known?”
“About six months…”
“What??? Six months?”
Kiyoomi was just silently listening. He knew something was wrong, but he didn’t expect this. Atsumu has been diagnosed with cancer six months ago and he kept playing. Now the twins talk made more sense to Kiyoomi.
“The Olympics are in two years, Tsumu.”
“Okay, and? Don’t think I’ll be around ‘til then?”
Atsumu’s only wish. He wants to play at the Olympics. That’s why he kept practicing on his own.
“I’m sorry, Meian. He only asked me fer one thing and what kinda brother would I be if I said no to his wish?” Osamu was tearing up. “He’s my twin, I don’t want him to be unhappy and volleyball is what makes him the happiest. Ya must be stupid if ya think I’d take his happiness away!”
Meian took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Osamu. “I never said you were a bad brother. You’re a good brother, I promise I’m not lying.” He was gently patting Osamu’s back, trying to comfort him.
Everyone was silent while Osamu was crying into Meian’s shoulder. Kiyoomi could tell how this news affected everyone. Atsumu, by far the loudest, most energetic and most hard-working MSBY member, was sick. Not just a common cold or the flu, he was ill. Death threatening ill.
The doctor had explained that Atsumu should have started treatment the moment he got diagnosed. From now on, Atsumu would have to stay at the hospital indefinitely. Practice was very quiet during the first week and some players were off their game, such as Bokuto and Hinata.
A few weeks had passed, Atsumu would have a lot of visitors each week. To not overwhelm him, the team always talked to decide who’s turn it was to visit. Kiyoomi hasn’t visited him once and nobody was questioning it. They just expected him to not wanting to go there since he wasn’t a big fan of hospitals.
His gameplay was off too. Even weeks after Atsumu got hospitalized. While everyone was playing as normal as before, Kiyoomi was just not having it. He couldn’t hit the sets from someone else, he missed his daily banter with Atsumu. There wasn’t someone anymore that would actually respect his boundaries the way Atsumu did.
“Oi, Sakusa.” Meian was walking towards Kiyoomi. “You haven’t visited Atsumu yet, right?” Kiyoomi just nodded. “You should, just once maybe. I know you don’t like hospitals, but I think it would make him happy to see you.”
Kiyoomi was confused. “What makes you think that?”
“He always asks about you. Osamu told me. Seems like he’s been expecting you to visit.”
“Oh. Okay, is anyone going today?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Okay. I’ll go today then.”
He wouldn’t even admit it to himself, but he’s been avoiding visiting Atsumu. Seeing Atsumu weak just felt wrong to him and he felt bad. He felt bad for not telling anyone that he knew something was wrong with Atsumu. If he did, then maybe Atsumu would’ve been in treatment for longer already.
So after practice, Kiyoomi made his way to the hospital. He was nervous, he didn’t want to get confronted by Atsumu on why he hadn’t visited yet. He wasn’t even satisfied with the answer he was giving himself.
Kiyoomi knocked on the door and opened it to walk in. Atsumu was looking up and something in his eyes lit up when Kiyoomi walked in. He walked closer and sat in the chair next to Atsumu’s bed.
“Hi.”
“Hey, Omi-kun. Didn’t expect ya to voluntarily come back to the hospital.”
Atsumu was thinner than the last time Kiyoomi had seen him. He was wearing a beanie. Kiyoomi was wondering if it was because of hair-loss. He basically was staring at the setter.
“How’s practice? The others never tell me about it, thinkin’ it would upset me.”
“Practice is okay, the usual as always.”
Atsumu slightly nodded. “Do ya have a replacement fer me already?”
“No. I don’t think anyone could replace you.”
Wait.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Kiyoomi was blushing and looked away from Atsumu.
“Aw, ya miss me, don’t ya?” Kiyoomi could see Atsumu smile in the corner of his eye. “So ya think nobody could replace me?”
“Shut up. What I meant was…” That was exactly what you meant, my dearest Kiyoomi. “I meant that… that nobody works as hard as you do and-“
“Nobody works harder than me?”
“Ughhhh! You’re a really good setter, okay? You should know that.”
“Yer not just saying this ta cheer me up or anythin’, right?”
“No, I’m serious, Miya. You’re really good, maybe even the best. I like spiking your sets.”
When Kiyoomi looked up at Atsumu, he noticed that he was tearing up. He didn’t know how to deal with that. How does one comfort someone that’s crying?
“That’s the most genuine thing someone has said ta me in the past weeks.” He was smiling. “Thank you, Omi-kun.”
“You’re welcome, I was just stating a fact though.”
“Yer too kind.”
“Miya I… I’m sorry I haven’t visited sooner.”
Atsumu had wiped his own tears. “It’s fine, I know ya don’t like hospitals. Startin’ ta hate them too.”
“I didn’t visit because I didn’t want to see you like this. I wish I told Meian or Foster when I heard something’s wrong with you. Maybe then-“
“Kiyoomi,” Atsumu cut him off. It was silent for a moment and Kiyoomi was staring at Atsumu. Never in his life had he addressed Kiyoomi by his first name. He went from ‘Sakusa’ to ‘Omi-kun’ and ‘Omi-Omi’; ‘Kiyoomi’ had never been an option for him.
“This isn’t yer fault, okay? You respected my privacy, kinda, and I’m thankful fer that.”
“But the doctor said you were late for treatment…”
“Doesn’t matter. I got to play a little longer and I thank ya fer letting me. I might never play again, who knows.”
“Don’t say that. You might beat cancer, who knows.”
When Kiyoomi cracked a little smile and Atsumu caught it, he could only think of that. Seeing Kiyoomi smile and actually having him have his mask pulled down, warmed up Atsumu’s heart. It made him feel closer to his favourite wing spiker.
“How’s treatment going?”
Atsumu shrugged. “It’s tiring. Can think of a million things I’d rather do.”
This was weird. Kiyoomi would never talk this casually with Atsumu. He didn’t know what to ask and what topics would even be appropriate. Hell, he didn’t have any more topics in mind.
“Will ya come visit me again?”, Atsumu suddenly asked.
“Only if you want me to.”
“I want you to. Kinda feel the most normal when I’m talking to ya.”
“Guess I’ll visit more often then.”
There it was again. That smile. Atsumu was dying on the inside. He wanted a picture of that so badly, but it would be weird to ask or just do it. He wished to be able to take screenshots with his eyes.
A few more weeks had passed and Kiyoomi was visiting almost daily. He was the highlight of Atsumu’s day. Atsumu liked to listen to Kiyoomi tell him about his day in detail. It made him forget about his boring days at the hospital and the pain.
But from week to week, Atsumu got weaker. He would fall asleep halfway through Kiyoomi’s stories and wake up to him being gone. It was making him mad and he felt bad for wasting Kiyoomi’s time. So he texted him, telling him to not visit anymore.
Kiyoomi was confused. He didn’t know if he did something wrong that may have made Atsumu upset. He couldn’t focus during practice, his mind kept drifting to Atsumu. Because apparently, everyone else was still welcome to visit him. One day Kiyoomi chose to just join Hinata and Inunaki in visiting Atsumu.
He was nervous but at least he wouldn’t be alone then. When Kiyoomi walked into the room with his teammates, Atsumu was just staring at Kiyoomi. He didn’t expect him to visit; more likely expected him to respect his wish and not visit.
It wasn’t awkward, Hinata and Inunaki were talking a lot, giving the room no chance to be silent. An hour later or so, Hinata and Inunaki left, Kiyoomi stayed. He was looking at Atsumu, who was avoiding looking at Kiyoomi.
“Did I do something wrong?”, he asked. “Did I upset you?”
Atsumu didn’t answer. He just stared out of the window.
“I’m sorry if I upset you, Atsumu. I really didn’t mean to.”
Suddenly Atsumu was looking at Kiyoomi.
“What?”, Atsumu asked.
“I said I’m sorry for whatever I did to upset you.”
“No. Ya said my name. Ya said ‘Atsumu’ and not ‘Miya’. Ya called me by my first name, ya’ve never done that before.”
“Oh.” He hadn’t even noticed that he said that. It must’ve slipped his lips. He was calling him by his first name in his head so much, that now he also did to his face. “Yeah, I guess I did call you Atsumu.”
“Go back ta Miya. Why did ya have ta say Atsumu now???”
“I… I don’t get it. I thought-“
“No, don’t call me Atsumu now.” Atsumu covered his face with his hands. “Please leave. I told ya ta not visit again.”
“Sorry… Sorry I bugged you.” Kiyoomi got up and looked at Atsumu one last time before leaving. But Atsumu didn’t look at Kiyoomi, he kept his face covered.
Kiyoomi was hurt. The thought of Atsumu not actually meaning anything he’s said crossed his mind. Treatment could be messing with his emotions and have him act differently. But it was still possible that Atsumu really didn’t want to see Kiyoomi anymore.
He didn’t want to think of that last option to be true.
-
It’s been two months since Kiyoomi last saw Atsumu. He was still hurt. He wanted to see Atsumu and talk to him. He also did a lot of thinking.
Figuring out his feelings was hard for him. All he ever had were crushes, but never anything serious. But any time he was thinking about Atsumu, any time he would go in to visit him, his heart was warming up. He felt genuinely happy and was looking forward to those days.
It was the weekend. Kiyoomi was sitting on the couch in his small apartment, reading a book. He wasn’t even reading anymore, his mind drifting to somewhere else. When his doorbell rang, he was brought back to reality.
He didn’t expect anybody to stop by, but he even expected less to see Atsumu stand on the other side of the door.
“At- Miya??? What are you doing here?”
Atsumu smiled when Kiyoomi opened the door. “Wanted ta see ya.”
“So you just… left the hospital? How did you get here?”
“I called an uber.” Atsumu was leaning against the door frame, looking very weak and exhausted. “Sorry, I woulda called but I had a hunch ya wouldn’t have let me come over.”
“Mhm, you’re right. You should be in the hospital.”
“I wanted ta surprise ya. I missed ya.”
“But you didn’t want me to visit anymore”, Kiyoomi said confused.
Atsumu sighed. “I know, I’m sorry. I… can I come in?”
Kiyoomi nodded and let Atsumu walk inside his apartment. He followed him to his couch and just now realized that this is the first time ever that someone from the team entered his apartment. Both sat down and Kiyoomi was still in shock to have Atsumu here right now.
“Miya, I’m confused.”
“I know, lemme explain.” Atsumu took a deep breath. “Okay so basically I… I’m very much in love with you, Omi. Ya must think I’m crazy but-“
“Then why did you send me away?”, Kiyoomi cut him off.
Atsumu was staring at Kiyoomi. He didn’t expect a response like that.
“Because, I can’t be in love with ya when I’m probably gonna die. What’s the point of it then, right?” He didn’t know if he should start laughing or crying. “And when ya called me by my first name… I didn’t wanna fall more. But I miss ya. Ya always were the highlight of my day.”
Kiyoomi’s heart might have skipped a beat when Atsumu called him the highlight of his day.
“So you… you are in love with me?”
“Yeah. I’ve been fer a while now. Got more and more whenever ya visited me. I… I just wanted ta tell ya before I died so here I am.” Atsumu nervously fiddled with his fingers while he was staring down at them.
“I don’t even want ya ta return the feeling. Just needed ta say this out loud after all this time.”
Atsumu was still fiddling with his fingers. He got more and more nervous the longer Kiyoomi stood silent. It was making him crazy and he was thinking about getting up and going back to the hospital. But then something happened. Kiyoomi put his hand on Atsumu’s hands and was looking at him.
“I like you, Atsumu. A lot. Probably longer than I have realized. And I’m not saying this because you’re sick. I really like you and you were the highlight of my days too.” The soft smile on Kiyoomi’s lips were it for Atsumu. He burst out in tears and hugged Kiyoomi.
“Ya really like me?”, Atsumu cried into Kiyoomi’s shoulder.
“Yes I do.” Kiyoomi rested one hand on Atsumu’s back and the other on the back of his head. “How could I not? You came all the way from the hospital just to tell me that. That’s very romantic.”
The blonde laughed a little and wiped his own tears. “I’m probably in a lot of trouble.” He looked at Kiyoomi. “But it was worth it.”
“Mhm”, Kiyoomi hummed. “Let me get you back to the hospital. Come on, everyone there must be worried about you.”
When Atsumu was brought back to the hospital, he was put on watch to make sure he doesn’t leave like that again. Kiyoomi stayed by his side and made sure that Atsumu’s family doesn’t get informed about his little escape.
“Thank you, Omi-kun.”
“You’re welcome, Atsumu”, he smiled.
“I can’t believe ya like me back. This feels like a dream ta me. THE Sakusa Kiyoomi likes me? Hell naw, that’s mad sus.”
Kiyoomi laughed. “Why is that ‘mad sus’? I’m a human being with feelings and you are very lovable, Atsumu. You should know that already.”
He couldn’t hide the blush on his face. Kiyoomi already saw it and saved that picture in the back of his brain. He thought it was cute how shy Atsumu was getting when usually he was loud and confident.
“How long have you liked me for, Atsumu?”, Kiyoomi asked, which made Atsumu shy.
“Uhm.” There was a long pause. “I've liked ya since the first time I saw ya at camp”, he responded quietly. “And I’ve been in love with ya since the first time ya let me be close ta ya.”
“Ya put so much trust in me and yer not like that with the others. It made me feel special. I like being the only one that close ta ya. That typa trust coming from ya is very valuable ta me. I’ve been working hard ta keep up and not scare ya away from me.”
“Atsumu…”
“And when ya said my name, it made me feel like being so close ta my goal. And it sounds so much prettier coming out of yer mouth. I might cry if ya ever call me Miya ever again”, he chuckled.
“Don’t you want to know when I started to like you?” Atsumu looked at Kiyoomi and nodded. “It was when I realized that you don’t find me weird and actually respected my boundaries. Whenever you swooped in and got whoever was getting close to me away from me.”
“Really?”
“Mhm”, Kiyoomi nodded. “You’re very caring and genuine. You remember when Hinata was sick last year?”
“Yeah, of course”, Atsumu remembered.
“You took care of him. He was all alone and you went over to his place with food and medication and took care of him. He didn’t even ask for it, you did it on your own. What I’m trying to say is, your friends can always count on you. No one ever doubted you.”
“But…” Atsumu looked down at his hands. “But what about now? I’m letting all of ya down.”
“No.” Kiyoomi reached over and took Atsumu’s hand. “You are sick, sadly. That’s nothing you could’ve controlled. This time, let us be there for you, like how you’ve been doing for us.”
Atsumu lifted his head and looked at Kiyoomi, who was softly smiling while gently rubbing Atsumu’s hand with his thumb.
“Will you let me be here for you? Please?”
Atsumu was very much soft for the man in front of him. How could he say no to that? There really were people outside his family that really cared about him.
The blonde nodded and put a wide smile on the others face.
-
Treatment wasn’t going well. Atsumu was very silent these days and couldn’t do much. He was weak and always tired, but Kiyoomi never left his side. It just had been two weeks since they confessed to each other and Atsumu’s condition had changed drastically.
It was late and Atsumu had fallen asleep. Kiyoomi stood by his side for a while before he went home, but he went back very early in the morning. The sun hadn’t risen yet, it was still dark out. Kiyoomi wasn’t allowed at the hospital that early, but he sneaked in anyway.
Atsumu was still sleeping and as much as Kiyoomi didn’t want to disturb him, he gently shook him awake.
“Atsumu, wake up”, he said quietly.
“Lemme sleep, Samu”, Atsumu mumbled.
“It’s me, Kiyoomi.”
Atsumu opened his eyes a little and looked up at Kiyoomi. “Omi?”, he yawned. “What are ya doing here? What time is it?”
“Very early. Now come on, I got something for you.”
Atsumu just nodded, being too tired still to even properly react and process what was going on. Kiyoomi helped Atsumu on a wheelchair and wrapped a blanket around him. Then he quietly sneaked out with Atsumu and got up on the top floor with him.
“Where are we going, Omi?”
“Just wait.”
The elevator stopped a floor underneath the rooftop. That’s where Kiyoomi picked Atsumu up and walked up the last flight of stairs. For a moment he was thinking about how thin and light Atsumu was, but shook off that thought when they got up on the roof.
The sky was clear and the sun was about to rise.
“You once mentioned how much you like sunrises, but you never can stay awake ‘til it rises or wake up that early.” Kiyoomi set Atsumu down and held him by wrapping his arms around him.
“When did I say that?”, Atsumu asked.
“Back when I just had joined MSBY.”
“You remember that?”
“Mhm.” Kiyoomi turned Atsumu around. He kept his arms around Atsumu and rested his head on Atsumu’s shoulder. “Thought I could wake you up and watch the sunrise with you.”
Atsumu stared at the view in front of him. If he just looked straight forward, it looked like Tokyo was right down by his feet. The sun was rising and the sky got painted in the prettiest colours. Atsumu was staring and leaned back into Kiyoomi.
“It’s so pretty, Omi.” Atsumu was brightly smiling. The brightest Kiyoomi had seen in a long time.
“Mhm, just like you.”
“Sap”, Atsumu laughed. Hearing Atsumu laugh, spread a pain through Kiyoomi’s chest. He thought about how Atsumu could possibly not even see the light of the next day. He was thinking, what if this was the last sunrise he would see?
Atsumu turned his head around and looked at Kiyoomi. “No. No sadness allowed on the rooftop of dreams.” He had pulled his hands out from underneath the blanket and gently cupped Kiyoomi’s cheeks. He could see in his eyes that he was close to crying.
“Rooftop of dreams?”, Kiyoomi asked, swallowing the clump in his throat so he wouldn’t tear up.
“Yes. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I was just dreaming this, but now I’m sure I’m not. ‘Cause ya wouldn’t be cryin’ in any of my dreams.”
“I’m sorry, I think I’m tired and just had some thoughts.”
“Can I do something else to make sure this isn’t a dream?”
Kiyoomi just nodded. Atsumu got on tiptoes, still cupping Kiyoomi’s cheeks, leaned in and softly kissed Kiyoomi. It was a very innocent and wholesome kiss. It warmed up all of Kiyoomi’s inside, which made him smile into the kiss.
When their lips parted, Atsumu was staring at Kiyoomi. “This is definitely still a dream.”
“Oh?”
“Ya think I would just kiss ya like that?”
“You just did, Atsumu. It’s not a dream, I promise.”
“Alright, I believe ya, Omi-kun.”
-
They have been dating for almost a year now. Atsumu’s treatment was going so much better and he was so close to beating cancer. Kiyoomi was by his side the whole journey, always comforted him during bad episodes and cheered him up.
“I miss playing volleyball, Omi. I miss it so much.”
“Hey, you’ll be able to play soon. I believe in you.”
“Ya think I’ll be able to go to the Olympics? Together with you?”
“No”, Kiyoomi shook his head. “I know we will be there together.”
“Okay”, Atsumu smiled. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Atsu.”
Within the next few weeks, Atsumu was getting much much better. He was happier again, but he still wasn’t able to ring the bell, that so many of his new hospital friends were able to ring. Sadly not all of them were able to do that, but Atsumu will never forget them. So many people that comforted him during his down phases while Kiyoomi wasn’t there, have left.
He wanted to be one of those to ring that bell.
It was the end of the week, Kiyoomi should be there soon. Atsumu was in the doctor’s office together with his brother. He was nervous, he was hoping for good news.
“Calm down, Tsumu. Ya have been doing so well, I’m sure he got good news fer ya.”
“Don’t jinx it, Samu! He could also just walk in and tell me I’m uncurable.”
“Always so optimistic”, Osamu said in a sarcastic tone. “Where is Kiyoomi by the way?”
“He had the week off and visited his family.”
“Really? Didn’t think he’d do that. Thought he’d take any chance ta be here with ya.”
“He wanted ta stay, I told him ta go. He’s been here every day of the week, he deserved the break. Also, he’ll be back for our anniversary which is nice.” Atsumu smiled widely.
“Already one year? How’d he survive that with ya?”
“Shut up!” Atsumu hit Osamu’s arm. “It’s gonna be a year on Sunday.”
The door to the office opened and a nurse walked in. “Miya-san, I’d like you to come with me to make some tests.”
Atsumu stared at her. “What? We just did some yesterday. Is something wrong?”
“The doctor just told me to come get you. Sorry for the long wait.”
The twins looked at each other in fear. This is not how Atsumu thought it was going to go. He slowly got up and left the office, followed by his brother. A lot of nurses and other patients were standing in the hallway.
“Miya Atsumu”, the doctor said, which drew his attention to him. “I am very happy to announce, that you are now completely cancer-free. Congratulations.”
Atsumu stared at the doctor in disbelief. “No way.”
“Your most recent tests came back clean. You can ring the bell, Miya-san.”
Everyone was smiling at him. He looked at Osamu who was tearing up a tiny bit and wished Kiyoomi was there to witness this moment. But it’s alright, he would tell him right afterwards.
The bell was waiting to be rung by Atsumu, so he took a few steps towards it. He said a short prayer in his mind and then rung the bell with a shaky hand. Everyone was happy for him and he went to hug his brother tightly.
“I really did it, Samu”, he said to his brother’s ear.
“I knew ya would, Tsumu. Yer the strongest person I know.”
Atsumu was crying happy tears. He took his phone and immediately called Kiyoomi. It was odd because he wouldn’t pick up. He tried a few more times and then figured that he might be driving still. Kiyoomi didn’t like to be on his phone while driving, it was too risky and dangerous for him.
It was a few minutes later that Kiyoomi called him back.
“Omi! Ya won’t believe what happened!”
“Is this Atsumu?”, an unknown person asked.
Atsumu made sure it actually was Kiyoomi who called, which he was. “Uhm, yes. That’s me. Who’s this?”
“You’re listed as Sakusa Kiyoomi’s emergency contact.”
Atsumu’s heart sank to the ground.
“He had a heart attack right outside of the Osaka Central Hospital a few minutes ago.”
Atsumu stared at the wall.
“I’m afraid to tell you that he didn’t make it. I’m sorry for your loss.”
Atsumu’s hand sank.
The phone fell.
Voices were so far away.
He let out a painful cry and sank to his knees.
Osamu rushed to his side, trying to figure what happened. He grabbed his phone from the ground and just stared at Atsumu while hearing the bad news. Now he understood.
“Tsumu, hey, Tsumu. Tsumu listen.“ Osamu wasn’t quite sure what to do. He was tearing up at the news and seeing his brother crying like this. “Tsumu-“
“Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!”, he was crying loudly. “Whatever yer gonna say is not gonna bring him back!”
“I’m sorry…” Osamu didn’t dare to touch Atsumu right now. “I’m so sorry, Tsumu.”
So much was going through Atsumu’s head. He almost was there. He died right in front of the hospital. Why didn’t he call him right away? Now Kiyoomi will never know that Atsumu made it. That Atsumu beat his sickness.
“He promised. He said we would play together at the Olympics. We were gonna play again, Samu. He was almost here.” Atsumu was sobbing and gasping for air. “He’ll never know I made it. I cant take him out on our first real date, Samu. He’s gone now.”
He leaned over and fell into a crying mess in his brother’s arms. Osamu wrapped his arms around his twin and gently rubbed his back while tearing up.
“I’m so sorry, Tsumu. I wish I could make it better, I really do.”
Atsumu was a sobbing mess. He couldn’t talk. All he could think about was, how he just lost his lover.
-
Kiyoomi’s funeral was on the Sunday right after. Atsumu was last to go up and say a few words, being one of the closest people to Kiyoomi. It was hard, he didn’t even know how to sum up how much Kiyoomi meant to him. He thought that he could talk about him forever. So what was he going to tell everyone else?
He stood up there, seeing all the people that showed up very clearly; Kiyoomi’s whole family, the MSBY team, Atsumu’s parents and some other friends.
Atsumu cleared his throat, trying not to break down in front of everyone.
“To be honest, I don’t know what ta say. Don’t get me wrong, I got a lot I could talk about right now, but there isn’t enough time fer me ta do that. He was very much perfect in my eyes.” Atsumu slightly smiled, looking down at a picture of them together on the rooftop, which he had been holding all day.
“I wish I could’ve thanked him fer being there fer me the past year. I wish I could’ve let him know that I’m not sick anymore. He missed the news by a few minutes.” Tears were falling on the picture.
“Today would’ve been our one-year anniversary. I actually could’ve taken him out on a real date, somewhere quiet where it just woulda been us. He woulda loved that.” He was holding himself together, he really didn’t want to break down in front of everyone.
“His last words…”
“Please drive safely, Omi.”
“I will, don’t worry. You know what we’re gonna do when I’m back?”
“No, tell me! I wanna knowww.”
“I’ll take you to our gym and I’m gonna spike one of your sets. I miss playing with you.”
“Really? Ya gonna let me set fer ya?”
“Mhm. See ya in a few hours, Atsu.”
“Did ya just say ‘see ya’ Omi??? Oh my god!”
“Oh shut up, you’re not going to let me live that down, right?”
“Ding ding ding! Yer right.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Yer idiot. I love you, Omi-Omi. Can’t wait ta see ya.”
“I love you too, Atsu.”
“We were gonna play together one last time”, Atsumu cleared his throat. “Omi was the sweetest, most caring person I’ve ever met. If he can hear me from wherever he is…” Atsumu looked up at the ceiling.
“Can we meet on the rooftop of dreams?”