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“Chanhee! we're airing in five minutes!” shouted Changmin, a friend, but is also the program manager who handles their radio show, Love:On air.
Even as a child, Chanhee is drawn to broadcasting, continuing it as his major in the university and persevering as an intern before he got an official DJ gig, and Chanhee has been an official DJ of this radio show for around 2 years.
True to the name, this station often talks about love, the ups and the downs, the hardships, the happiness that is brought by having a significant other, they also accept calls, for those who wanted to ask for advices, which is mostly what their station is for, and also for those who just wanted to share their stories to the listeners.
Chanhee enjoys his job so much, he dreamed and worked hard to be where he is right now, but having to listen to different stories of love, sometimes tires him, but also energizes him in a way. He loves giving advice anyway, advice that he won't apply to his own self in any way.
"Chanhee, get ready!" Their floor manager said.
3..2..1..
the on air sign lights up, and the show is on.
[rolls intro]
"What a lovely night for you guys, this is DJ N-E-W New, and you are listening to 126.7 Love: On Air. The time is now thirty minutes past eight so I hope you had your dinner already!"
Chanhee glanced at the glass where the floor manager and Changmin were seen outside, both giving him an 'okay' sign meaning he's doing good.
"Tonight, our topic is about a love worth letting go."
A love worth letting go..
Chanhee is very familiar with this concept, so familiar that it physically pains him to even talk about his own personal experiences, but as a professional, he won't let that disrupt him from doing his job.
That was a long time ago, he's doing okay. He should be okay, after all, they did this for their own sake. Loving each other enough to be willing to let go.
"Okay, so shall we read our first letter?" He then proceeded to pick an envelope in the stash in front of him, all of these are stories that were sent to them by the public, to share their stories. "Oh there's no name? That's... anyways okay! Hi DJ New, I'm an avid listener of your station— why thank you, I'm glad— and I took courage to send this letter to you because I can relate to the topic. I have this girlfriend, we’ve been together for 3 years. We were happy, really happy but things started to go downhill when life decided to be hard on us. We have different priorities, making ends meet with school, work, family and being with each other just went lower and lower on our priority list that the love is just not enough for us to keep going. I regret it though, letting go even if I know it’s for the better. I wish we could weigh and balance our priorities better. I saw her today too, with her partner, and she looked really happy so even if I do regret it, I’m glad she found a way to have the happiness she deserves again.”
“Awfully familiar.” Chanhee thought to himself, folding the letter and setting it aside.
“And that is where our letter ends. I feel like this story hits close to home,” he laughs, “Very close at that. We will always meet people that will make us feel the best, they make us feel warm the best, care the best, they love us the best, but sometimes, the best for us, isn’t just enough to keep us going anymore. Things fall apart, eventually, we never know, but it’s important how we handled it right? Even if we regret what we did, if you think it’s for the best for both of you, you’ll still do it. Love was never there just to make us blush and feel giddy, it’s there to make us want what’s best for the person you love, what you think is needed. It’s not because love isn’t enough anymore, it’s that you love them too much, you’re willing to feel the pain, if you think it’s for the better.”
And maybe Chanhee overshared a little, but who cares right? It’s his radio segment, no one can stop him. No one can ever stop him from remembering the best love he ever had. Time might not be on their side, but he knows it’s the feeling of love he’ll never feel with anyone again, he never wants to feel with someone not him.
“And that is for our first segment, we will back after the song request, Enchanted by Taylor swift.” Chanhee said before removing his earphones and stretching his limbs. The song quietly played in the background as he reminisced some memories he tried so hard to push at the back of his brain.
Maybe this topic is affecting him much more than he wished to.
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
He reached for the bottled water and drank almost half of it, trying his best to stay at the moment and not drown in the what ifs of his past. For now, he needs to do his job, he can be sad, in his penguin pajamas listening to Taylor Swift all night long.
And the light turns on, On Air.
His own segment continued flawlessly and the show soon came to an end. He knows his job like the back of his hand and he enjoyed it so much as much as he enjoyed steak with his ramyeon.
Packing his things and greeting his co-workers for a job well done, he trudges along the hallway, wanting to go home as soon as he can since he can already feel his bed is calling for him. As much as Chanhee enjoys his job, nothing can beat lazing around the comfort of his own home, and of course, his bed.
Changmin and him will go home together but he’ll just wait for the other in his car. He really wants to rest right now, but what he didn’t expect is someone leaning against Changmin’s car.
Someone very familiar.
“Jaehyun.” He called.
The other looks up, and Chanhee feels his heart pound.
Jaehyun looks exactly like Chanhee remembered him. Clothing and hairstyle are still the same, except that his hair is on the lighter shade of brown now. His bright, doe and expressive eyes looking directly at him with pure adoration, like he’s the only person in the world worth loving. Tight lipped smile that makes his cheeks look squishy, where the ends of his mouth curve upwards. Chanhee’s favorite point, Jaehyun’s smile.
“Hey,” the other walked closer to where Chanhee’s standing, shoes seemingly glued to the floor. Only stopping when they’re inches away from each other, the latter’s eyes found refuge on the random design of the streets.
“How are you? I heard a lot about you, you’re famous now huh? Mr. New?” Jaehyun added as he reached for the latter’s head, patting it softly.
And as much as Chanhee missed the skinship, he can’t help but flinch under his touch.He still can’t believe it, Jaehyun is in front of him. His best friend, his pillar, his lover, is in front of him after almost four years. After all the longing, the hidden regrets, the what ifs, he’s now in front of him again, real, and looking at him with the same gaze he used to have four years ago, full of love.
It never changed.
They separated when Jaehyun got accepted in a prestigious school in another country, where they both know his major will be more enhanced and taken care of, than the school’s in their country. They both knew when the acceptance letter came, everything would change for the both of them.
They knew long distance would never work, with both very contradicting personalities, having a relationship while never really seeing each other personally would make everything worse. And even though they both hated it, that time, it seemed to be the most plausible solution for the younger.
Chanhee doesn’t want to hold back Jaehyun in nurturing himself more, so he decided it all by himself, not really consulting what the other would want to do. When Jaehyun left, that’s where he started regretting his decisions. He did not regret letting Jaehyun go, but he regretted the way he did it, it could’ve been better, but that moment he really thought he had it all planned out.
But now, Jaehyun is in front of him again, with the same gaze that only Chanhee has the liberty to see.
“Jaehyun,” He finally spoke.
“Chani, I missed you so much.” And that’s when Chanhee’s tears fall. He never knew how much he longed to hear that nickname from the older until now.
He wanted to tell Jaehyun he’s sorry, that he did not regret letting him go, but regretted the way he pushed him away. He wanted to tell him how much he missed and longed for him for years they were apart. How he hoped Jaehyun never saw someone more worthy of his love than him, how he wished that when he came back, it’s still him. It’s still Chanhee that he loves.
He wanted to say so much but his tears are refraining him from doing so, hiccups are only heard as Jaehyun cradles Chanhee’s head in his chest as he caresses his hair, “Shh.. It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me everything yet, I know you by heart, it’s okay.”
Chanhee embraces him tight, hiding his face in his chest as he cries his eyes out. He knew he'd ruin his shirt but that’s literally the last thing he’ll think of right now.
“I-Im sorry,” He started, in between his hiccups,
“Shh.. baby I know, I know.”
“I missed you so much, please don’t leave me anymore.” Chanhee said as he looked up, meeting Jaehyun’s soulful eyes with his teary ones.
“I’ll never leave again my chani, I’ll stay right here, with you so don’t cry now okay?” Jaehyun cupped his face and caressed his cheeks as he said those words.
“Now, Can I get my welcome back kiss? You owe me a whole four years of kisses you know.” Chanhee can’t help but laugh and nod nonetheless.
Chanhee soon felt a warm pair of lips press on his own. It’s been so long since he felt it, but the warm magical feeling is still there. It doesn’t have fireworks like the books said, it’s like coming home with a cup of hot coffee and a warm blanket situated on your favorite couch as his favorite tv show plays. It felt like waking up with the sun rays hitting your face and hearing the birds chirping in the early autumn morning. It felt like a hug, it felt like home.
As Jaehyun closed the gap between their lips, the first snow of the year fell. Chanhee cannot be any more happier, with the love of his life in his arms again, and the symbolic first snow watching them, witnessing their love under the dim lights of the street, it felt like love.
Jaehyun is the first one to pull away, hands never leaving Chanhee’s cheeks as the latter snuggle against his hands.
“I’m home and I’m never leaving you again.”