Work Text:
"Shino. You're shaking."
Shino, quiet as ever, said nothing. Instead he ducked his head deeper into his collar, as if he were trying to hide, his eyebrows furrowing in displeasure. Kiba would almost laugh, if it wasn't so damn frustrating.
So they'd confessed. Despite what he'd psyched himself up to believe for probably years, at this point, that was the easy part.
The hard part was... Shino.
Shino and the walls he'd put up around himself.
Kiba wasn't stupid, contrary to popular belief, and he wasn't as much of an ass as people tended to think he was.
But he was also impatient, reckless, and brash. He acted first and thought about it later. His instincts were to dive right into everything and deal with the consequences after.
But he couldn't do that here. He couldn't do that to Shino.
He knew how the Aburame worked. He'd spent so many years as Shino's teammate, his friend, his best friend.
They kept to themselves. They didn't show affection. They didn't touch others without reason. Every touch they did initiate was done with purpose, and every emotion controlled. Hell, did Aburame couples ever even fuck for any reason other than to make babies? Somehow he doubted it.
He wasn't even sure he'd seen Shino's own father hug him or even touch him. Whenever he'd seen them together they just stood still, side by side, looking more like awkward strangers than father and son.
So when Kiba had come into his life, he'd immediately been overwhelmed. That much was obvious. But, at the time, Kiba didn't really care. He was a child, and he ignored how stiff the other boy got, how obviously uncomfortable he was, whenever he threw an arm around him, or tugged him along with him, or threw himself on top of him to use him as a pillow after a long day of training. He was like that with everyone, and Shino wasn't going to be an exception.
And his forcefulness did help, as far as he could tell, after a while. Shino stopped flinching when he touched him. Sometimes, after a particularly rough day, he would even lean into Kiba's touch. There was a longing there, perhaps. Maybe not romantic in nature, at the time, but a longing for the physical affection he'd been denied for his entire life.
But things were different now. Kiba couldn't be forceful, or reckless, or brash. He couldn't dive head-first into this and expect for them both to come out in tact.
Because unlike a casual arm around his shoulders, this was serious. He loved Shino. Yeah, he hadn't told him as much, they'd started out with 'like', like most normal (boring) people did, but he loved him all the same.
And he didn't want to hurt or overwhelm him.
As frustrating as it was.
So he was starting small.
But small wasn't small enough, apparently. Shino freaked at even the slightest touch, even more so at the more gentle ones. Just now they had been sitting across from one another on Shino's bed and Kiba had just...touched his forearm, right below the elbow. Gentle. Feather-light. And it had Shino shaking, hiding in his jacket. Clearly overwhelmed, even if he wouldn't say so.
What was he supposed to do?
He couldn't start any smaller than that!
It'd been three weeks since their confession and he couldn't even touch his own boyfriend on the arm?
"Kiba."
Kiba snapped out of his thoughts and looked back up at Shino. To most he would look the same as always, but Kiba could read the concern in his voice and in the subtle tweak of his eyebrows..
"Thinking so much doesn't suit you."
Kiba snorted. "Oh yeah? Even when I'm thinking about you?"
He didn't miss the way the tips of Shino's ears turned pink and the slight shift in his face as his eyes, hidden as ever, pointedly looked away from Kiba.
Kiba watched as Shino picked at a stray thread on his jacket. "In what way were you... in what way were you thinking about me?"
Kiba shifted his knee so that he could lean his arm and head against it, and wore a devious grin. "Thinking about how annoying you are."
Shino's eyebrows furrowed. "Quite hypocritical of you."
Kiba's grin grew. "Nah, I know I'm annoying."
"At least you are self aware. It'd be quite a pity if you went through your whole life not knowing how much of a pain you are."
"I thought flirting by being mean was something most people grew out of when they were genin."
Shino was quiet for a moment. "....You started it."
Kiba let out a loud laugh.
"You're cute, you know."
"I disagree."
"Too bad."
Kiba wanted to reach out and hold Shino's hand. He didn't. He knew better.
"I just think it's adorable that you're bundled up on all of those layers and you're still cold."
Shino let out a quiet sigh, almost imperceptible in the still night. They'd been going back and forth like this for a while.
He looked like he was about to speak, but Kiba got there first.
"I know, I know, 'It's because my insects-', I get it. You run cold. You're always cold. God, I bet your skin feels like ice. Not that I'd ever know, I guess."
Shino very clearly tensed up at that. Kiba hadn't really meant to say it, but he couldn't help how he felt.
"Kiba, I-..." Shino wasn't looking at him, he could tell that much without even seeing his eyes. "I know I am making things incredibly... difficult for you. That's because I know you are very... physically affectionate. "
Yeah, but he wasn't gonna say it. As annoying as it all was, he didn't blame Shino. At all. He blamed his stupid clan and their stupid tradition of being stoic and emotionless and depriving their children of the most basic things in life, like hugs.
"It's okay, Shino."
"Is it?"
"Okay, yeah, I'm like... frustrated, I guess. But I also would rather be frustrated than have you totally freak out on me because I tried to hold your hand or something. I was trying to take things slow, because I don't wanna overwhelm you. Doesn't seem like we're getting anywhere at all though, huh?" He laughed awkwardly.
Shino's expression was mostly unreadable, due to his stupid collar and goggles, but Kiba could tell he was thinking about something.
"....Maybe you should."
Kiba blinked. "What?"
"Overwhelm me."
Kiba swallowed. This situation was innocent enough, but those words sent his mind in places it has no business going just yet. He tried to push the thoughts away, for now. "What... whaddya mean?"
"It worked in the past, did it not? With your more... platonic affections. Your constant need to bombard me with physical touch when we were younger was overwhelming, but in the end I became much more comfortable with you touching me."
"But...I wasn't... even considering how you felt back then."
"Sometimes going slower is more difficult. That is because it is like ripping off a band-aid. The slower you go, the harder and more painful it is, but if you get it over with quickly, it is much easier."
Kiba stared at him. Hard. God dammit. Here he was, trying to be respectful, nice, a good person, a good, respectful boyfriend, and Shino goes and pulls this shit? God dammit.
He let out a frustrated growl, burying his head in his hands.
"Kiba?"
He tilted his head to find Shino glancing at him quizzically, like he wasn't the cause of all this.
Kiba leaned back against the tree he was sitting beside. He took a deep breath and then let it out. Okay. Okay.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I will tell you if things become too much. With words."
Kiba sighed again. He kind of felt like he was the one who was overwhelmed right now.
Why did they have to be on a god damn mission?
'Overwhelm me.'
Those words had been living rent free in Kiba's head all damn day.
Did Shino realize how that sounded? Did he??
He'd tried to push it out of his mind last night, for the mission's sake, but now that it was over and they were on their way home it was literally all he could think about. He was trying his best to push it out of his mind, but it wasn't really working.
He couldn't even look at Shino without thinking about those words, without wanting to take him up on that 'offer'.
Still, he supposed he was doing an okay job at hiding his feelings for the past few hours, as Shino didn't seem to pick up on it at all. Or, if he did, he didn't mention it.
Akamaru, however, had definitely picked up on it, and now Kiba was having to avoid judgmental looks from his own dog. Life was so cruel.
Minutes after they'd left the Hokage's office, as soon as they were in a less public place, Kiba had Shino pinned against a tree.
'Overwhelm me.'
"If it gets to be too much, you tell me to stop, okay?"
Shino was trembling slightly again, but he nodded quickly, and that was all Kiba needed to dive right in and kiss him.
After just a second he pulled back to tug down that fucking collar that he was currently more annoyed with than he ever thought he could possibly be with a piece of clothing, then he kissed him again.
Shino was now as stiff as the tree he was up against, and Kiba really, really wished he knew what he was thinking right now.
He pulled back again. "Shino."
"...Kiba."
"If you're not gonna kiss me back I might as well be kissing the tree."
Shino's response was a bit delayed, as if he was still trying to collect himself. "...If you would rather kiss the tree I won't consider it cheating."
"I don't wanna kiss the tree. I wanna kiss you. But I want you to kiss me back, too."
"My apologies."
Kiba rolled his eyes. He grabbed Shino's twitching arms and wrapped them around his own waist. Shino's expression was blank, but his cheeks had a slight pink tint to them. Kiba imagined he was also blushing, if the heat he felt in his face was anything to go by.
He fisted his hands in the front of Shino's jacket and kissed him once more.
Kiba was kissing him.
Kiba was kissing him, and he hadn't immediately perished on the spot.
That was a start, at least.
Shino tried his best to calm his shaking limbs, to control his insects, and to kiss Kiba back, all at the same time. He was failing at two of the previously mentioned tasks, although not at the most important one, he supposed, as his insects running amok would certainly ruin the mood much more than his failure at kissing ever could.
Just when he thought he had a grip on things, Kiba deepened the kiss, pressing his tongue to Shino's lips. He parted them to allow him entry, although he had no idea what else he was supposed to do in this situation. He'd never kissed anyone before, and he had never thought he would for much of his life, truth be told. So he was at a complete loss.
Kiba didn't seem to mind that, though.
Shino dug his fingers into the back of Kiba's jacket in an attempt to ground himself. It did not work. He was just as overwhelmed as before, and still shaking just as badly.
Kiba finally pulled back, panting, and staring at him with a flushed face and lidded eyes. He was beautiful like this, and Shino wanted to see more. So badly.
"Wow."
Shino swallowed. He wanted to say something, but didn't quite know what to say.
"That was awful. Wanna come over to my place and do it again?" Kiba had a lopsided grin on his face. Shino still hadn't let go of him.
"...Yes."
Akamaru didn't follow them into Kiba's bedroom. Shino wondered if he and Kiba had 'discussed' it previously, or if he was simply smart enough to know that he did not want to see whatever they were about to be doing. He assumed it was more likely the latter. Akamaru was much smarter than the average dog, after all.
Kiba was very clearly taking Shino's words and running with them, although he hadn't quite predicted things to move quite so quickly from 'I am afraid of touching you at all because it might overwhelm you.' to 'Making out against a tree.' with literally nothing in between.
"Shino?"
"Yes, Kiba?"
"You didn't say anything the whole way here. You good? That wasn't too much, was it?"
"...No, it was fine. I have been lost in my thoughts. Why? The reason is because you have given me much to think about, and yet you have also made my mind quite jumbled."
"Oh yeah?" Kiba grinned. "Bet I can make it even more jumbled."
Without hesitation, Kiba kissed him again. It was softer this time, slower, and Shino melted into it. His limbs felt like jelly.
He tried his hardest to focus on the kiss, and not on Kiba's hands that were currently all over him, touching him in ways no one else ever had, lest he become so overwhelmed he would either stand still like a statue once more or combust on the spot.
His own hands hung awkwardly, uselessly, at his sides, but the idea of touching Kiba back was too much for him right now, so he left them there, only moving his mouth, as well as his legs, as Kiba slowly backed him up against the wall.
After a moment Kiba pulled back and, without giving him even a second to compose himself, ripped open his collar and began kissing at his jaw and neck. Shino gasped.
"K-Kiba..." Without putting any thought into it, Shino reached out for Kiba, his hands clutching onto his jacket once more.
The kisses were feather light, barely there, but simultaneously the most overwhelming sensation Shino had ever felt in his life. They tickled, they felt amazing, they filled him with some feeling and emotion he'd never felt before.
And they made him want to cry.
He simply could not do that, so he focused all of his attention(that wasn't focused on keeping his insects at bay, of course) on preventing himself from doing so. Apparently that caused him to tense up, and Kiba noticed.
"Hey, you good?" Kiba tried to pull back, but Shino held him tight.
"I'm fine." His voice did not sound as sturdy as he'd hoped.
"Uh-huh? You sound like you're about to cry, Shino."
"Perhaps your hearing isn't as sharp as your sense of smell."
Kiba scoffed. "Well, it's plenty good enough to tell when you're actually showing some kinda emotion in your voice, asshole." He pulled back to look at Shino anyway, despite his attempts to prevent him from doing so. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong. You may continue with what you were doing."
Kiba gave him a look, a look that very clearly portrayed what he was feeling. A mix of annoyance and concern, perfectly readable on his face. Shino was envious. He wished he had that easy of a time conveying his own emotions to others.
He wasn't prepared for it when Kiba reached out and removed his goggles from his face. There it was, his shield, gone, and now his own emotions were a little bit more readable too, including the ones he wanted no one to see.
"I knew it. You're about to cry. What's wrong? Shit, what did I do?" The look shifted wholly to one of concern.
"You've done nothing wrong. I'm just... a bit.. overwhelmed." He averted his eyes. Eye contact was hard enough for him at the best of times, even more so when he didn't have anything to hide behind, and even more so when he had to talk about his feelings.
Kiba stared at him for a minute, an expression on his face that Shino actually had trouble reading this time, before smiling softly. "Let's cuddle."
"What?"
Kiba pulled on his arm. "Well, I was horny, but then you cried, so now I kinda just wanna hold you and cuddle you and all that warm fuzzy crap."
"I didn't cry." Shino let Kiba pull him to the bed.
Kiba fell back onto it, sprawling out, looking quite comfortable, while Shino sat down awkwardly beside him.
He wasn't sure how to proceed.
"Come on."
Shino laid down on his back, stiff as a board.
Kiba had the audacity to laugh at him. Shino glared at him halfheartedly.
"What?" Kiba rubbed at his eye, grin still in place.
"You're laughing at me."
"You're just so awkward. It's cute, is all." Kiba rolled over onto his side, his smile softening and his cheeks pink behind his tattoos.
Kiba didn't fully reach out for Shino just yet, as much as he wanted to. Instead he reached for his hand, grasping it gently in his own. He wanted to start slow again, as per his original plans. He'd gotten a little carried away, a minute ago.
"...How's that?"
"It's fine." Shino's voice was barely above a whisper.
Kiba gave him his most reassuring smile before pulling Shino's hand towards himself. Shino made no move to stop him, but he could feel him watching him curiously.
He pushed his long sleeve back slightly before tracing his fingers across his hand. Along long, bony fingers, across the tiny, almost invisible scars that dotted his skin.
He wasn't sure he'd ever touched anyone this gently before.
"You got nice hands, you know."
Shino's breath stuttered a little, barely noticeable, but Kiba still heard it. "...Y-you know you don't have to lie to me, Kiba."
"I'm not."
"I don't believe you."
God, they really needed to work on Shino's confidence.
"Why not?"
"The reason is because my hands are nothing special. They are awkward and covered in many scars. I am thankful to have them and they serve their intended use, but they are nothing special beyond that."
"I dunno, I can think of a lot of other uses for 'em."
Shino stared at him for a moment before his implications seemed to sink in and he was met with a glare. "Kiba!"
Kiba laughed loudly, completely unable to hold back his amusement.
"You're insufferable."
"Takes one to know one!"
"That response doesn't even make sense."
"Whatever." He let out one last chuckle before looking back down at the hand he still held in his own. "I'm serious, though. I like your hands, just like every other part of you."
Shino's expression softened at that.
"It's unlike you to be this....this...."
"Charming?"
"Soft. Sweet."
"I guess you've made me a changed man, huh, Shino?"
Shino said nothing, but Kiba swore he saw his mouth quirk up into a small, barely there smile. It really did something to his heart, made him feel super gooey inside. Kinda gross, truth be told. But nice, too. He was feeling sentimental, now, so he slid their fingers together and brought Shino's hand to his lips, leaving a kiss on the knuckle.
Shino snatched his hand back so fast that he didn't even seem to realized he'd done it, leaving him staring down at his own hand in shock.
Kiba blinked at him.
"You good?"
"...Yes."
"Was that too much?" They had already made out, so it really shouldn't be, but Shino was a weird one, after all, and the gentle touches really did seem to overwhelm him the most.
"...No."
"You're gonna have to give me more than these one word answers, man."
"Sorry."
Kiba narrowed his eyes.
"I apologize."
"That's two words!" Kiba whined.
"You're far too easy to tease, Kiba."
"I'm gonna make you pay for that."
"Are you?"
Kiba reached for Shino, pulling their bodies flush against each other, not stopping until their faces were barely a centimeter apart.
"Mmhm. Now you've got no choice but to let me cuddle the hell outta you."
Shino also had no choice but to look his boyfriend dead in the eye. It made him very anxious. Kiba could sense it, apparently.
"Hey, it's okay." Kiba's arms wrapped tighter around him. "You think it'd be easier if you closed your eyes?"
"...Probably." Shino closed his eyes.
He wasn't quite expecting for Kiba to place a gentle kiss on his eyelid.
Shino froze.
"That okay?"
"..Mhm."
Kiba pulled him tighter against himself, and Shino found his face pressed against his shoulder. He could feel Kiba's breath against his ear. Shino then realized he should probably do something, too.
He reached his arm, the free one that wasn't being crushed between their bodies, around Kiba, just underneath his arm and above his waist.
It was a bit of an awkward embrace, but that felt like it would have been a given, anyway, considering the circumstances. Kiba didn't seem to mind.
They stayed that way for a while, not saying a word, just content in one another's embrace. It was probably the longest he'd gone without hearing Kiba talk his ear off in years, to be perfectly honest.
Part of him found it nice, refreshing, but he didn't become so fond of Kiba due to prolonged silences.
So he spoke up. "You're quiet."
"Huh? Oh. Yeah. Sorry."
An odd response. Shino's newfound concern outweighed his nervousness, so he finally opened his eyes. He still didn't look Kiba in the eyes directly, but it was much easier for him to get a grasp of what was going on, now.
He was acting a bit weird. He looked as if he were almost lost in thought.
"Kiba, what's wrong?"
"Just thinking."
"You've been doing that a lot lately."
"Yeah."
"What is it that you're thinking about?"
"Uh, just...stuff."
"Mhm."
"I didn't push you too far earlier, right?!" The abrupt movement that came with Kiba's words pretty much forced their eyes to meet, and Shino found himself not minding it as much as he would have earlier, due to his concern at Kiba's outburst.
He was clearly upset. Shino didn't want him to be.
"Of course not."
"You're not just saying that, are you? You almost cried."
"I do not like to lie. Why? Because lying is a waste of time and gets you nowhere."
Kiba stared at him for a second before letting out a small laugh. "Okay." His face shifted to be a bit more serious again. "Are you sure? Like sure sure? I don't wanna do anything to make you uncomfortable."
"I'm sure. Because I was the one who suggested you go all out and 'overwhelm' me, after all."
"Yeah. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea."
"You're acting like something horrible has happened. That isn't the case. You were just making me feel things quite strongly. It's because I'm not used to it."
"Oh."
"I don't want to take things slow. Why? I meant what I said before, with the bandaid analogy."
"But ripping off a bandaid hurts. I don't want to hurt you. When you said that I was kinda like 'oh, that's hot' but now, thinking about it, I dunno..."
"You really have been thinking too much."
"Shino..."
Shino was feeling a bit gutsy now, and a bit more confident than usual, and so he decided to do one of the bravest things he'd ever done(in his opinion, anyway. Many would perhaps disagree.) and reached the hand that was between them up to gently grasp Kiba's chin and softly press their lips together, for but a moment.
He wasn't good with words. So he hoped this was enough.
"I promise that you have done nothing I did not want you to do. That's because if you did you would be in a hospital bed right now, rather than your own."
Damn. Okay. That was also really hot.
Kiba groaned and buried his face in Shino's chest. "Man, that was really hot too. You're killin' me."
"I fail to see how me threatening you is 'hot'. It's because most-"
"I don't know why either! But it is!"
"Well, I'm sorry if that equates to some kind of torture for you."
Kiba felt a hand hesitantly land on the back of his head. It rested there for a moment before Shino began to stroke his hair softly. It felt nice.
If he were a cat instead of a dog(yeah, yeah, he knows he's not actually a dog, it's a joke) he'd probably start purring or something.
"Your hair is soft." He sounded a bit surprised.
"You expect somethin' different?" Kiba would have peeked an eye up to him, but that would require him to move, and this position was far too comfortable for that.
"To be honest I expected it to be greasy and disgusting."
"What the hell?!" Kiba pulled back now, because, wow, offensive much?? What was he implying here?! "What are you trying to say?!" As much as he had enjoyed the petting, his pride was on the line here.
"I wasn't-"
"Well I bet your hair sucks!" Without putting too much thought into it he reached up and dug his hands into Shino's hair. He wasn't very gentle.
"Stop, Kiba. That hurts."
"Ha, I knew it, your hair sucks so bad." It didn't. It was much thicker and courser than Kiba's, but it was still nice and still soft. He pulled at it a little.
"Kiba!"
"Alright, alright, chill."
"Chill? You're the one attempting to yank my hair out."
"Sorry, sorry." He still hadn't removed his hands from Shino's hair, so he smoothed it down gently. It stuck straight back up. He leaned up and kissed the top of his head, pulling back with a grin. "Better?"
Shino glanced to the side, his cheeks going slightly pink once more.
"...It was never my intention to insult you."
"Ha, yeah, maybe I overreacted a little to that. But you did call me greasy."
"That is not true. I only said that it was my assumption, based on who you are as a person."
"Now you're insulting me as a person?!"
Shino sighed. "Kiba..."
Kiba laughed out loud. "I'm only messing with ya! Also your hair doesn't actually suck."
"Thanks."
They were silent after that, just wrapped up in one another's embrace once more. It was nice, and, if he was honest, he wouldn't mind staying still like this forever, in great contrast to his usual need to always keep moving. In contrast to his impatience.
Maybe love did that to you. Maybe it made you content to go with the ebb and the flow of 'whatever happens, happens'. Maybe it gave you the willingness to wait, or the courage to push yourself.
No matter what pace they moved at, quickly or slowly, they would be okay.