Work Text:
Hua Cheng should’ve been back by now.
They’d both gone off on small errands for the day, and Xie Lian had found himself returning home early. It was nice! He’d get a bit of time to start cooking before his husband was home and Hua Cheng would be just in time for everything to be ready.
Dinner had been ruined in four different ways over the six hours Xie Lian had been waiting and the sun was starting to set now. Had he gotten caught up with other errands? Usually he’d at least reach out over the communication array. He must have been very busy to have not contacted Xie Lian all day.
All the same it was fine! He’d just put extra love into the… well it was certainly dinner, what exactly it was didn’t matter. The cottage was all caught up on chores and they could have a nice relaxing night together.
Everything would be perfect.
***
Everything couldn’t be going more wrong. Hua Cheng ran a hand through his hair in frustration, kicking the mangled remains of the monster that had dared bite and curse him. With a wave of his hand he redressed before pressing his fingers to his temple and reciting Xie Lian’s password.
“Gege?”
“San Lang! Did you get tied up with something?”
“Something like that.”
“Will you be home soon? Should I come help?”
“Gege doesn’t need to. I’m going back to Paradise Manor to deal with some issues. It might be a few days.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
Hua Cheng heistated. He didn’t want to be a burden, but Xie Lian wouldn’t want him to hide this. It felt too close to lying too.
“San Lang?”
“Does gege remember when he was cursed to turn into a ferret?”
Xie Lian gasped. “San Lang, you—“
“This one was a little different, but the effects seem quite similar. Unfortunately I think it’s different enough that the same cure isn’t going to work.”
“Do you want me to come to Paradise Manor? Are you more comfortable transforming there?”
“No, I… this one doesn’t want to trouble gege with such a form.”
“San Lang,” Xie Lian chastised gently. “I told you before it’s no trouble. Let me take care of you.”
And how could Hua Cheng refuse him anything?
***
Hua Cheng crouched down low to the floor, ears turned back and pressed down as his tail lashed back and forth, uncomfortable with the open staring of his husband.
“San Lang is—“
Hua Cheng arched his back, closing his eye as if to block out any possible rejection.
“So cute!” Came the delighted conclusion before Hua Cheng was scooped up into his husband’s arms.
Hua Cheng opened his eyes, ears flicking curiously as he watched Xie Lian take him in with no hint of disgust or disappointment in his eyes.
He meant to ask if Xie Lian truly liked this form so much, but he’d forgotten he couldn’t talk and it came out an odd little “Wow wow wow?” that had only made his husband light up even more.
“I understand how San Lang felt when I was a ferret now.” Xie Lian kissed his nose, eyes dancing with amusement. “Don’t worry San Lang, I’ll take good care of you. What would you like to do today?”
Hua Cheng nuzzled at his husband, trying to get across his appreciation where words failed him. If Xie Lian could enjoy him like this then all the better.
“Does San Lang want to cuddle?”
Always.
Hua Cheng’s ears perked up, tail raising straight up as he nuzzled his husband even more furiously.
Laughing, Xie Lian set him down and settled in to lay down again, having only just woken up anyways. “Is San Lang sleepy or just cuddly?”
Just in love. Just hopelessly grateful. Hua Cheng moved to tuck himself against his husband, curling up so that he could still watch him.
Xie Lian’s hand came up to pet between his ears, gentle and familiar. “Can I confess something?”
Hua Cheng did his best to nod while also not disturbing the loving hand comforting him.
“I like when San Lang is selfish with me. I like when San Lang lets me take care of him.”
Hua Cheng's ears flicked curiously again, brushing against Xie Lian’s hands lightly. He was selfish all the time. Every day since marrying Xie Lian he had been spoiled beyond belief. Hua Cheng had always known want, but Xie Lian had taught him how to ask and had done his utmost to fulfill every request he had.
“It makes me happy when you let me see you vulnerable like this.”
Hua Cheng desperately wanted to kiss his husband silly and let Xie Lian know that he was the one who was thankful. That he would lay himself bare for Xie Lian, painful as it was to be stripped of his strength, any day or time if Xie Lian should only ask.
Something of that must have been conveyed, or maybe Xie Lian just knew him too well because he smiled and shook his head. “I don’t want San Lang to give up the rest of it. San Lang knows I like that side of him too.”
Hua Cheng thought of some of the expressions he’d caught his husband make when they were in the Gambler’s Den or out fighting together and felt smug. He certainly did know.
“But I like knowing that when San Lang has a hard time he relies on me just like I rely on him. It’s funny, I’ve spent so long taking care of other people, but it feels different when it’s San Lang.”
Hua Cheng nudged against his hand, questioning.
Xie Lian smiled. “It’s not just something I’m doing because it’s right. It feels like an act of love.”
Hua Cheng didn’t mind so much that he couldn’t speak then. He wasn’t sure what he would’ve said to that anyways. He could only stare.
“Sorry, does that make any sense?”
Hua Cheng nodded, how could he not? Because of course he understood. It was how he felt about Xie Lian.
***
Being weak did not come easy to Hua Cheng. It was uncomfortable and irritating and scary.
But being spoiled was easier by now so Hua Cheng did his best to lean into that as he chased Xie Lian around the yard. Unlike him when their roles had been reversed, Xie Lian had quickly understood his cues for play and happily indulged him, chasing him around in circles and ever so gently pinning him on occasion. He’d even managed to get Xie Lian once!
Of course, he knew his husband was going easy on him. With so much of his power sealed Xie Lian could easily overpower him. But as always, Xie Lian was gentle with him.
Hua Cheng jumped up, pleased beyond words when Xie Lian let himself be ‘knocked over’.
“San Lang got me again! My strong little fox,” Xie Lian cooed, reaching up to scratch behind his ears.
And Hua Cheng knew he wasn’t strong, not right now. But maybe that was okay. Maybe today he didn’t need to be. Even without strength he was still able to make Xie Lian smile at him like this. So maybe it would be okay.
***
Hua Cheng bunched the edges of his sleeves in his hands, feeling uncomfortably weak and foolish. But Xie Lian had said…
“San Lang? Are you dressed yet? Dinner is ready,” Xie Lian called from the other room.
Steeling himself, Hua Cheng walked out of their bedroom and into the kitchen, trying his best to look calm and unaffected.
“I hope San Lang gets his cure soon but it really was fun today. Maybe we should do more gardening tomorrow, San Lang seemed to be very good at digging.” Xie Lian still had his back turned, happily making dinner.
“Gege…” His voice was so young. He wanted to crawl into a hole and hide there forever.
Xie Lian finally turned around, eyes wide as he took in the sight.
He was staring too much. It burned. But Hua Cheng forced himself to stand through the discomfort, meeting Xie Lian’s eye. “I can transform back if gege doesn’t like this.”
Xie Lian’s face instantly softened, coming forward to scoop him up in his arms and Hua Cheng had never felt so safe, not even when he’d been caught and held there the first time. Because now these were the arms of his husband. Who loved him. No matter how weak he looked or was, Xie Lian loved him.
“Is this what it looked like under the bandages?” Xie Lian asked, lightly running his fingers under the red eye.
Hua Cheng pursed his lips and nodded. “The form I took to suppress my powers in Mount Tonglu… pray gege doesn’t mind I took some liberties to make myself less…” he looked away, discomfort deep in his bones despite the safety he felt here. He had been such an ugly child. He was cleaner now, but that only revealed more imperfections. Xie Lian had seen him at ten years old looking just like this only dirtier, but Hua Cheng knew his husband didn’t exactly have the best memory so maybe he’d forgotten what an ugly child Hua Cheng was. Or maybe his uncovered red eye was disgusting.
“San Lang is still cute.” Xie Lian pinched his cheeks, breaking him out of his anxieties. “Did being a fox make San Lang want to be small?”
Hua Cheng shook his head, feeling his cheek stretch out more at the movement. “I thought— gege,” he whined, batting at Xie Lian’s hands.
“Sorry sorry, I won’t pinch San Lang anymore,” Xie Lian promised, moving his hand back to support Hua Cheng, then added, “until he’s done talking.”
It eased some of the tension in him a bit. “Gege said he liked when I was vulnerable. This is… this is the most vulnerable I can be for gege.”
Xie Lian drew him closer, letting Hua Cheng bury his face in the folds of his robes. “How does San Lang feel about it?”
“It’s… uncomfortable,” he admitted.
“San Lang can change back. But I love him no matter what form he’s in. If San Lang wants to be protected tonight I’ll protect him.”
Hua Cheng shifted back, unsurprised that his husband could still handle holding up his full weight like this with only a small adjustment, likely more for Hua Cheng’s comfort than any strain on Xie Lian.
And there was no disappointment in Xie Lian’s eyes as he smiled at him, just as there hadn’t been when he’d seen Hua Cheng’s ugly, weak little child form.
“Tonight I want to kiss my husband,” he said, because it was all he had wanted all day.
And Xie Lian laughed. Bright and beautiful and perfect. “Then San Lang can have as many kisses as he wants.”
“That’s a dangerous promise gege,” he teased, slipping out of Xie Lian’s arms and into a skin he felt more used to so he could get a better angle on his husband.
And Xie Lian was leaning up to meet him, the endless love Hua Cheng felt somehow reflected back at him. “San Lang knows I like a little danger.”
***
Hua Cheng was doing so good, he was the best husband ever probably, he was digging such a nice hole for Xie Lian. Xie Lian was going to like this hole so much, it was perfect, it was just right for the two of them and— and Hua Cheng realized he had been supposed to be digging a gardening plot.
Turning around, Hua Cheng slowly crept out of the den he’d made to find his husband squatting down and looking down at the hole with open curiosity.
“What did San Lang make?”
The question was without any judgment but Hua Cheng still felt his ears press down on the back of his head, his body lowering towards the ground.
“No no, San Lang doesn’t have to be embarrassed.” Xie Lian moved to scritch under his chin. “It’s very nice, I just don’t think it’s for the garden. Can San Lang show me what it’s for?”
Hua Cheng was beginning to understand why Xie Lian had been so embarrassed about the stashing behavior. The idea of leading Xie Lian down into the den he’d burrowed for them was mortifying, even if he’d been ecstatic about that very thought mere moments ago.
“Is it not something I can help with?”
And Hua Cheng truly didn’t want to show Xie Lian such a stupid hole. But Xie Lian sounded so sincerely curious and it would be hours before Hua Cheng could speak again to explain.
So, reluctantly, he pulled away to walk back into the hole, looking behind him to see if Xie Lian was following.
After realizing that Hua Cheng wanted him to follow, Xie Lian happily did, crawling after him until they reached the den.
It was a tight squeeze, but Hua Cheng really had made the whole thing big enough for Xie Lian to fit, just barely.
“San Lang made us this hole?”
He felt like a child showing off a half baked attempt at competency.
“It’s very impressive,” Xie Lian assured him, practically boxing Hua Cheng in.
And he knew it wasn’t, Xie Lian didn’t have to lie to him. But he did sort of like being hidden away like this with Xie Lian. It felt calming. Right.
“If San Lang wants to stay down here can he bark once for yes twice for no? I can’t see you well to know if you nod.”
Hua Cheng heistated.
“I like it in here too. If San Lang wants to stay it’s no trouble.”
So, shyly, he gave out one little “wow,” curling himself close to Xie Lian.
***
Hua Cheng felt even more strange in this form but still floated out towards the kitchen.
“Is San Lang going to— San Lang?!” Xie Lian looked absolutely stricken, running towards the ghost fire with such panic that he knocked dinner to the ground, splattering it over the floor.
Hua Cheng was back in his real form in seconds, catching Xie Lian. “I’m okay gege!”
Xie Lian’s hands cupped his face, grabbed at his arms, checked his finger prints and hair for any signs of trouble keeping the form.
“Gege I’m fine I didn’t… I thought…”
His own panicking subsiding, Xie Lian looked up at him properly, devastation clear across his face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. I thought San Lang was hurt, I just…” Xie Lian cupped his face, brows furrowed with worry still. “If San Lang wants to be a ghost fire today he can. I’ll protect him.”
“No, I don’t want to frighten gege.” He felt shame creeping through him. How could he think that was a good idea? Of course Xie Lian would be worried. And he had been taking care of a fox all day he deserved his husband back, he deserved—
“It’s okay, I won’t be frightened, it was just sudden was all.”
“It’s fine gege.” He looked away, averting his gaze from the loving concern directed up at him.
“San Lang looked bigger than I remembered him as a ghost fire,” Xie Lian said after a few moments of silence.
Hua Cheng nodded. “I’m too powerful to make myself that small again unless I heavily suppress my powers.”
“San Lang,” Xie Lian called, and it was impossible for Hua Cheng not to look at him. “Are you doing this for me or for you?”
He wasn’t sure. It didn’t feel good. It didn’t feel right. But the moments when Xie Lian assured and accepted him anyways felt right. They felt safe.
This moment only felt sour.
“If this is for me, San Lang doesn’t have to do anything he isn’t comfortable with. But if this is for San Lang,” Xie Lian tucked a lock of his hair back and Hua Cheng found himself leaning into the touch, “then I want San Lang to turn back. I won’t be scared this time.”
So, hesitantly, Hua Cheng did. He let his physical form flicker into that ball of pure power, a brilliantly flickering ghost fire.
And Xie Lian kissed him. Or tried to at least. It was a bit hard with no form after all.
“San Lang is a really beautiful ghost fire too.” His eyes looked almost sad. “A kind one too.”
Hua Cheng shifted back, uncomfortable with the sorrow in his husband’s eyes. “Gege doesn’t have to indulge this one it’s—“
Xie Lian tugged him down into a proper kiss. “No matter what form San Lang took he has always been trying to take care of me. Always worked so hard for me.”
Hua Cheng nodded. “But your highness takes care of me too.”
Xie Lian stared up at him, expression severe as he searched Hua Cheng’s face for something. Eventually he seemed to confirm something and smiled, and Hua Cheng could feel the tension in his chest loosen just a bit more.
“I do. I will.” Xie Lian kissed him again. “Always.”
***
Their days were uneventful and foolish, spent indulging small whims Hua Cheng’s fox instinct pulled from him. He’d stopped messing with weaker forms after the ghost fire incident, partially because he was afraid Xie Lian would react badly but mostly because after a day spent being a fox the thing he wanted most was to be a husband. And just like that a week passed. Then two. Then three. Then four.
After one month of his curse, Hua Cheng began to feel guilty. It wasn’t fair to Xie Lian to drag him around like this. He seemed to be having fun but surely it was hard on him and—
“San Lang? Is the food no good today?” Xie Lian asked, staring at the still full bowl.
“Ah sorry gege, I hadn’t tried any yet.”
“What’s got San Lang so distracted?” Xie Lian sat down with his own portion as Hua Cheng started eating.
He couldn’t keep doing this. It wasn’t lying exactly but it was too close to it. Xie Lian deserved the truth, always.
“Gege I have a confession to make.”
“Oh?”
“Yin Yu found the cure for the curse. Three weeks ago actually.”
Xie Lian didn’t seem the least bit surprised, eating without a care. “Yes?”
Hua Cheng froze, stunned. “Did… gege know?”
Xie Lian nodded, finishing chewing before he spoke. “San Lang is easier to read than he thinks. And I know Yin Yu is good at those sorts of things. Is San Lang done being a fox?”
Hua Cheng had been ready to explain, to apologize. But instead he was met with unconcerned understanding.
“If San Lang needs this longer he can have it. I don’t mind.”
“Gege really doesn’t mind?” Hua Cheng knew he didn’t. He could see it on Xie Lian’s face and in his posture. He still had to ask.
“San Lang’s been different lately. More… peaceful almost. I thought it was helping him to rely on me. So I don’t mind it. Besides, San Lang took care of me, of course I’d take care of him.”
“Gege was only a ferret for two weeks.”
“En. But San Lang spent every day of his life taking care of me. Even when I wasn’t around to know it. And I already told you. Taking care of San Lang feels like loving him. I don’t mind.”
Hua Cheng could talk for days and still have more ways to explain how he loved his husband.
“I’m taking the cure tonight.”
“For me?”
Hua Cheng shook his head. “For us. I want to spend my days with gege properly.”
Xie Lian smiled at him. “Me too. Although I will miss how cute San Lang looks with his fluffy tail and ears.”
Hua Cheng grinned. “I’m sure I can find a way to make it up to gege.”
***
Though some days Hua Cheng sought out weak and shameful forms just to hear his husband’s reassurances and acceptances, Hua Cheng was beginning to really feel he didn’t have to. He could rely on Xie Lian no matter which form he was in or what he was capable of, just like he could be spoiled by him. They were husbands after all. They took care of each other. And though Hua Cheng adored taking care of his husband, his god, he thought he liked being taken care of quite a lot too.
Today though, he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to care for or be cared for and he wasn’t sure it mattered. Every day they did both. They were always looking out for each other, that was what it meant to be husbands.
So today he didn’t bother worrying about how to best attend his husband, he trusted that his love would be enough.
Today he only worried about how to tease him.
“Gege!” Hua Cheng waltzed into the room, grinning as Xie Lian dropped the scroll he’d be holding, openly staring. “Look what I learned to do.” He gave a small turn, showing off the fluffy red tail and perked up furry fox ears he’d added to the youthful form Puqi village knew him by. He’d fussed with a few different bases for these little additions but he thought this combination had the best air of mischief.
Xie Lian’s blush was reaching extremely satisfying levels of red.
Hua Cheng leaned in, boxing Xie Lian into the chair he was sitting in. “What do you think, gege? Aren’t I cute?”
Xie Lian covered his face. “San Lang!”
“Hm? Didn’t gege miss his little fox?”
“Not like this!” Xie Lian squeaked.
“Gege doesn’t like it? I learned just for him,” he purred.
“San Lang!” Xie Lian put his hands down, exposing that beautifully red face again.
“Hm?” Hua Cheng grinned.
“San Lang is really too handsome,” Xie Lian grumbled before leaning in to kiss him.
Hua Cheng laughed into the kiss before calming down to kiss his husband properly, deciding he could stop teasing for long enough to get a few kisses.
It didn’t matter which form he took just like it didn’t matter which form Xie Lian took. They would always take care of each other in every possible way for the rest of eternity.