Work Text:
The door closed quietly behind me. I know he is here. I can’t sense him and don’t know where he is; I just know he is here. He also knows that I knew he’d be here. It was just like last time he stopped by. Just like then, I first took off my costume and put it away. After my jacket and hood were hung up, I let out a deep sigh to invite him to come out from wherever he was hiding. When nothing happened, I just continued on, as if he wasn’t here.
After peeing, I went to my bedroom to change into some sweats. It was then that he made his presence known. On my bed, in the middle, laid a leather belt. “Fuck.” I couldn’t help but let the word fall from my lips. As much as knew that this was going to happen, it didn’t change me really hoping it wouldn’t happen. Before I could turn my body around to face him, he already harshly grabbed my shoulder and wrist and face planted me into my bed.
In another movement, he ripped my pants and underwear down. It’s really embarrassing to be ass naked in front of your father while you are waiting for him to beat said ass. I didn’t have to wait long, however. He quickly grabbed the belt from the bed and began swinging it. I couldn’t evade the blows with how strongly he was holding me down. I was forced to lie there and take it. Each swat came across stronger and more painful than the last. I had never been hit this hard before. It was like he was putting everything he had into beating me as hard as he could. I never cry during a spanking, but I was starting to break that cycle tonight. Tears fell soundlessly as the belt continued making its mark on my bare bottom. Last time he used the thing on me, it was over my pants and he said he wouldn’t give me more than my age in swats. I had just turned 22 and was hoping that he would still honor this. I could remain still and quiet for 22 vicious swats.
To be fair, I really do deserve this punishment. I fucked up big time. I knew I would be getting this the moment I fucked up. I broke his biggest rule. I murdered someone. Not just murdered someone, but I also did it in his city and on live television. I promised him I wouldn’t kill anyone, let alone in the way I had. I expected this to happen. I knew he would be more mad than I have ever seen him before. I knew he’d come to this place in order to beat me. I’ll probably also be grounded for the rest of my life; sentenced to live the rest of my life at his place. Maybe he’d just turn me over to the police. I’ll certainly get life without parole. I’ll end up being sent to Belle Reve and be forced to join the Suicide Squad. Maybe he’ll put in a good word for me so I can avoid that torture.
Despite knowing that I deserved this, I stupidly decided to open my mouth. “You don’t even hit the joker this hard, and you hate him.” A deep grunt was all I heard back in response. For some reason, I couldn’t stop myself now. “What? Are you just mad I took away your plaything?” This time I got more than just a grunt back in response. Suddenly, Bruce was hitting my upper thighs with the belt. I couldn’t help but gasp in pain. He continued to hit me there several times. “No! Dad! Not there!” He ignored me and gave me a total of ten swats to my sit spot.
Twenty-one. Twenty-two. That’s it. I survived. Shittiest punishment ever, but I survived. Twenty-three. Oh, no. It didn’t end. Maybe he forgot how old I was? Twenty-four. Shit! “Bruce, please stop!” I couldn’t help but beg him to end this. Twenty-five. I dared look back at him. He was dressed as his alternate ego, Bruce Wayne. His eyes were searing with anger. I watched as he raised his arm up high and very quickly snapped the belt against my skin. Twenty-six. I turned around and for the first time since I was a small, helpless child, I started crying into my bedsheets. It’s not just that I was in pain. Pain was a big reason that I couldn’t hold back my cries anymore, but it was also the anger I saw on his face. I knew I caused this. He must feel so disappointed in me as his son. He might even hate me now. “I’m sorry.” I tried to get out between my cries. He didn’t acknowledge what I said.
We were in the forties when I started to worry about my physical well-being. The pain was unbearable. I kept begging him to stop, but I had no effect on the man. I was even reduced to calling him ‘daddy’ to play at his heartstrings. At this point, I would have said or done anything to get him to stop. I screamed into my bed. I tried thrashing to free myself of his grip. He just grabbed both my wrists with his one hand and put even more pressure on my lower back to keep me held down. My bio father had never even been this harsh on me. I had gotten plenty of spankings growing up with him. Sometimes, he would even use his belt on me too. I was much younger then, and the belt hurt a lot, but I never remember being hit this hard or for this long. If it weren’t for the fact that I am an adult, I would have called this a clear case of child abuse. There should be a word for an adult son being physically abused by his pissed off father. I guess it would just be assault. It’s not even like I could call the cops on him. I am a wanted man. I’d be arrested on sight. This just isn’t fair.
Forty-nine. I can’t believe he hasn’t stopped yet. I ran through every number he was likely to stop at since this began. There’s five, ten, twelve, fifteen, twenty-two, thirty, forty, forty-four (for double my age), fifty and one hundred. “Please dad! Please stop! It hurts!” I screamed out once more, hoping he wasn’t planning on going to one hundred.
Fifty. My wrists were released. The pain was so overwhelming, though, that I couldn’t move my hands or any other part of my body. Eventually, I was able to inch my way further up my bed, so I was lying flat on my stomach while I screamed and cried into my pillow. I hadn’t seen him since he stopped hitting me. I could hear him, in between my sobs, moving around the small shelter. I wasn’t really sure what he was doing, but I found it too difficult to try to think about anything except the pain. I’m definitely going to be bruised. I also definitely have welts forming. I can’t tell right now, but I may even be bleeding. I tried to reach my hand back to rub my sore bottom, but the slightest touch burned. My fingers also felt hot just from touching my butt.
I felt so pathetic and weak, like the little kid I used to be that couldn’t protect himself from all of the people who harmed me. All of the grown men who paid my parents to have their way with me. All of the people who hurt me for their own selfish wants. I felt like I did when the Joker decided that he would cause me harm just for his own amusement. When he beat me with a crowbar until I was knocking on deaths door. Like I felt when I was blown up. When I died. Alone. Scared. Hoping beyond hope that someone would save me. That Batman would save me. That Bruce would save me. That my father cared about me and would never let me feel this sad and this lonely ever again.
“Jason, Alfred is here. Get up.” Bruce ordered from my doorway. I turned slightly to look at him. He had a duffle bag in his hands. I assumed it was full of my stuff from this shelter. I guess he decided I would be staying with him for however long.
It wasn’t like I was trying to disobey. I didn’t want to get up, but I wanted even less to make Bruce more angry at me. I just couldn’t move. I stared up at him with my eyes full of tears. “I can’t get up.”
Bruce let out an annoyed sigh. He came over to me and gripped my wrist and yanked me from the bed until I was standing. I flinched. I couldn’t help thinking that any little thing would earn me a swat. That would literally be the worst thing right now.
Bruce threw a pair of black sweatpants at me. “Change into these.” He left me alone in the room. I wasn’t wearing anything on my bottom so it would be nice to cover up, but I also imagined the pain it would cause to have the fabric on my butt. After slowly bringing the pants up, I decided to grab myself a hoodie so I could pull the hood up and shield anyone from seeing that I was still crying.
Once I was dressed, I waited for Bruce to come get me. After awhile, I realized he was waiting on me to come out. There was something harsh in the way he was treating me that I couldn’t put my finger on. I guess I am just used to him being more kind post-discipline than he is being now. I went out to the main area of the shelter. Sure enough, the moment he saw me in there, he grabbed the duffle bag and stood from where he was sitting. “You ready?” He asked gruffly. I nodded my head, without bringing it up from staring at the floor. “Let’s go then.”
Bruce and I headed to the street. We were actually right in front of the police headquarters because my shelter was the old, abandoned police bomb shelter that laid below the building. Luckily, none of the police had seen us exit the shelter and the police that saw us getting into Bruce’s limo, didn’t recognize me as the Red Hood because of my hoodie.
Alfred held the door open for Bruce and me. I really wish Bruce would have driven us home and Alfred could have sat in the back seat with me. Alfred would have been kind to me. I would have told him about how malicious Bruce was being and he would have cuddled me and told me it was all going to be ok. Instead, Bruce just shoved me inside after I took too long staring at the entrance. “Alfred, do we have a pillow somewhere?” Bruce asked as he got into the limo.
“I don’t believe we do.” Alfred answered. He didn’t seem phased about why Bruce would ask for such an item. He barely looked in my direction. He must have been just as disappointed in me as Bruce was. I didn’t think I could feel worse than I already did, but the sobs continued harder. I hadn’t actually stopped crying yet, but it just got harder. I dove face first into three car seats in order to be laying on my stomach. There was no way in hell I was going to sit on my ass, especially without a pillow under it.
“I guess I’ll allow you to lay like that this one time, Jason, but don’t get used to it.” Bruce warned. I wanted to flip him off. Fuck this guy for thinking he was being kind to me, and I should feel grateful. Fuck him. I don’t know what made me not flip him off though, but I reasoned it was fear of the consequences of doing that.
The ride back to Wayne Manor was bumpy and long. I wished I could have just been swallowed up into a black hole and could disappear. I hated that I couldn’t help but cry the whole way back, in front of Bruce. Bruce acted like he didn’t hear me. Once we were at Bruce’s home, and once I was out of the car, I grabbed my duffle bag and went as quickly as I could in the manor and to my room to shut the door. I ripped apart the duffle bag to try to find my cell phone, but of course, it wasn’t there. After I was satisfied that Bruce had intentionally withheld it from me, I resigned myself to just get into the bed and cry all night long.
…
“Jason. Breakfast time.” Bruce was at my door. I had just barely finally fallen asleep when he woke me up.
“Not hungry.” I grumbled out.
“It wasn’t a question.” Bruce crossed his hands over his chest.
Now this man was just being unreasonable. I shouldn’t have to be forced to eat breakfast, especially after everything that happened last night. “I haven’t slept. I’m not hungry. And I’m not going down there.” I sternly argued. Part of me really worried that he’d hit me again for arguing with him. I’d definitely comply if I was threatened with another spanking. Luckily, Bruce just walked away after I said that. He also left the door open, and I was too tired to close it.
It was evening when I woke up again. I had a tray of food that looked like what might have been lunch sitting on my nightstand. I also realized I wasn’t alone in my bed. Shifting in my bed caused another creature to stir. It was a large black dog. I had no idea that Bruce had a dog. I’ve never seen him before. The dog looked to be middle aged. He had a lazy expression on his face and didn’t seem bothered that I must have been a stranger to him. So much for him being a guard dog.
“Titus! There you are!” Yelled an angry pre-teen boy at my door. “Get away from this murderer.” Damian called out to Titus.
That hurt. “I’m no more a murderer than you are.” I bit back. Titus got out of bed and followed his owner’s commands. Damian just -tt-ed at me and walked away, clearly not wanting to debate the legality and legitimacy of murder with me. No matter how old Damian got, I don’t think I could ever not see him as the tiny, assassin child he was when I first met him many years ago when I lived with Talia.
I couldn’t go back to sleep after this last time. Bruce came by not long after Damian had to check on me. “You should come down for dinner.” He said less sternly than he had that morning. Maybe his anger was dying down?
“Can’t you just bring it up here?” I asked, pointing at the uneaten lunch tray.
“No.” Bruce simply replied.
I was still in an obnoxious amount of pain and found it difficult to walk and stand. The idea of going downstairs to eat with Bruce, Damian and Alfred was intimidating. I also don’t think I could’ve sat down in a chair. “Can I have a pillow to sit on?”
“There’s already one down there.” I nodded at Bruce, letting him know I would be down.
After getting downstairs and gently sitting down on the pillow. I still couldn’t help but feel like there were pins and needles digging into my bottom. Everyone seemed to ignore my painful movements, except Damian. “Glad to see father finally gave you what you had coming to you.” Damian said in delight of my pain. I would have jumped across the table and strangled him, but I honestly could barely move as it was, so I ignored the comment.
“If you don’t want the same punishment, I suggest you shut it.” Bruce reprimanded Damian. I flinched at the threat. How dare this asshole threaten to beat the ever-loving shit out of a child?
“Fuck this.” I growled. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sit through this meal. I can’t believe I sat as long as I did. “I’m going upstairs.” I got up as quickly as I could manage.
“Sit down, Jason.” Bruce commanded.
“Or what? You’ll beat me?” I yelled this at him. It came out just as I meant it to. Maybe it finally got through to Bruce about how badly he had hurt me. Maybe he just didn’t want to fight with me anymore. Either way, he let me go up to my room without bothering me.
Bruce came in later with a tray of leftovers. I was still lying in my bed, on my stomach. “Can I have my phone?” I knew the answer would be no, but atleast I could say I tried asking.
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because you are grounded.” Bruce sat the tray down and continued standing by my bed.
“Am I just grounded from my phone?” Obviously, my phone wouldn’t be the only thing I was grounded from.
“No. You are grounded to your room. No phone, no internet, no TV, no radio, nothing.”
I almost thought that Bruce had forgotten to add something important to that list. Every time I was grounded as a kid, it would always include being grounded from being Robin. “For how long?”
“I don’t know, Jason.” Atleast Bruce was being honest. “I can order you some study materials if you’d like to work on your GED.”
“My GED?” I hadn’t thought about high school, since before I died at 14. “Why would I get that?”
Bruce shrugged. “Why not?”
“Because I am legally dead. I can’t get a GED.”
“My lawyers are working on that.”
“What!? What do you mean? Working on what?” I yelled. What the fuck does he mean?
“I mean that they are working on reversing your death certificate.”
“Why the fuck would they be doing that?” I was pissed. “How the fuck can you think this is ok? Were you even going to tell me?”
“Jason, stop swearing. I am doing the right thing.”
“Fuck you! You selfish fuck!” I screamed as I buried my head into my pillow to muffle the rest of my rant. “How could you do this to me? It’s my fucking life! You had to take away the one fucking thing I had! Fuck!”
Bruce hadn’t moved from where he was, right next to me. He waited until I had finished my rant until he spoke again. “Why do you want to remain dead?”
I ripped my head from my pillow. “Because I’m a fucking ghost!”
“Exactly. And why does being a ghost mean so much to you?”
“Because I can do whatever the fuck I want!” Oh, fuck. That fucking asshole! He wants me to give up being who I am.
“That’s why I’m doing this. You need to be held accountable, just like everybody else in this world. No more ghosts. No more murdering. No more Outlaws. No more vigilance. No more costumes. No more Red Hood.”
I couldn’t control myself, as hard as I tried. I really did try to not sit up and take a swing at him for saying that to me. Of course, I missed though. All of that pain for nothing. Worse than nothing. Bruce not only avoided my punch, but also pinned me back on my stomach. “No! No! No! Not again!” I screamed through my tears. “Please! I can’t! Please!”
“I’m not going to spank you again. Not until you heal, atleast.” Bruce released my hands. “But that does not give you permission to act out and try to hit me. It also doesn’t give you permission to swear.”
“I’m sorry.” I cried. These past few days have honestly been the most emotional days I’ve had since I was young. I can’t believe how much I’ve cried in the last 24 hours alone.
“Why don’t you try to get some rest, Jason?” Bruce started making his way out of my room.
“Can you atleast tell my friends where I am? Let them know you have me and haven’t killed me yet.” Bruce nodded.
I was able to get a few more hours of sleep before I woke up again. This time, it was pitch black in the room. “Jason?” I recognized the voice, but it seemed out of place. What was Tim doing at my shelter in the middle of the night.
“Hmm…?” I groggily answered back. “Tim?”
“And Dick.” Great. They were both here. “We just thought we’d stop by and check on you.”
“Is it ok if I turn on the light?” Tim asked but didn’t wait for me to answer before he turned it on.
“Ouch!” I yelled as I was blinded. I finally became aware that I was in my room in the manor. “Sure, everyone just come in and make yourselves at home.” I said sarcastically.
Tim jumped up on my bed and sat next to me. Dick lingered nearby, nervously. I haven’t had the best history with my brothers. Dick and I still have a pretty strained relationship. Tim, atleast, I can comfortably call my friend.
“Can we see?” Tim asked anxiously.
“See what?” I was honestly confused what he was asking.
“You know, what Bruce did…”
“Oh.” I couldn’t help but blush. Tim had showed me what his butt looked like after Bruce punished him before. I’m sure mine looks much worse though. “Um… I guess… but just know it’s pretty bad…”
I hadn’t even finished my warning before Tim had lifted my bed sheets and carefully lowered my sweats.
“Holy shit!” Dick said as he took out his phone and snapped a picture.
“Jason! I’m so sorry he did this to you!” Tim flinched as he saw my butt. “That looks awful!”
“It was.” I replied.
“Jason, that isn’t punishment, that’s abuse.” Dick spoke with authority. Dick, Bruce’s oldest, was no stranger to being physically punished, just like the rest of us. Dick and I have been the only two of Bruce’s kids that have been hit with Bruce’s belt. I know Tim used to get hit with it from his biological father, but never by Bruce.
“Dick’s right. Bruce crossed the line.”
“It’s not like there is anything I could do about it.” I mumbled into my pillow. “Bruce doesn’t care. Alfred thinks I deserved it. Hell, I did deserve it. That doesn’t stop it from hurting so much.”
“You didn’t deserve that. Nobody does. Especially not from their father.” Tim kindly said after he finished covering me back up.
“I murdered someone.”
“We know. We all saw.” Dick reiterated. “But that doesn’t let Bruce off the hook for being an abusive piece of shit to you.”
For the first time in a really long time, I couldn’t help but smile. Who knew that having brothers would actually be a good thing sometimes?
“We will talk to Bruce and Alfred for you. Don’t worry.” Tim smiled back at me.
“Ok. Thank you.”
“Just get some sleep, Jaybird.” Dick said as he turned off my light and ushered Tim out of my room.
The next morning, I had just woken up and used the bathroom when I came back to my room and found Alfred waiting for me. He had a very upset look on his face. I didn’t know what he was so upset about, but I could only guess it had something to do with Dick and Tim talking to him. Great. Now Alfred is more upset at me than he already was.
“Come. Here.” Alfred indicated that he wanted me to lay across my bed, in the same position I was in when I got beat.
Tears hadn’t started flowing yet. I was still in a significant amount of pain and couldn’t possibly survive another spanking so soon. I just didn’t have the heart to defy Alfred. I laid across the bed as directed. “Please, Alfie. Don’t do this to me.”
“Hush, child.” Alfred sternly told me. He pulled my sweatpants down to my ankles. “Bloody hell!”
Did Alfred just curse? I looked back at him, and he had the look of horror on his face. Had he really not known?
“Bruce Thomas Wayne! Get your butt in here right this moment!” Alfred yelled across the house. I was almost scared for Bruce with how angry Alfred sounded.
It didn’t take long for Bruce to find his way to my room. Bruce stopped in the doorway and just stared at my butt on display.
“Do you mind telling me what in heaven’s name you did to this child?”
I didn’t think Bruce was unaware of what he had done to me. I think it was pretty clear that he knew he had been harsh, and he knew I was suffering from it. I just don’t know why he looked so shocked when he saw me just now.
“Jason. I… I didn’t… I’m sorry.” Bruce stuttered out.
I narrowed my eyes on him. I got off the bed and pulled up my pants. “Bullshit you didn’t know!” I couldn’t believe he would lie like he is. “You knew exactly what you had done.” I wasn’t going to let him get away with this.
“I meant to give you a harsh spanking. I didn’t mean for it to have been this harsh.”
“Master Bruce! I ought to take a cane to your own backside to remind you of what a harsh punishment should feel like.” Bruce made a pouting face at Alfred. “You better apologize to Master Jason and earn his forgiveness.”
I almost thought for a moment that I would get a sincere apology from the man, but I should’ve known better. “No.” Bruce said in defiance. “Jason earned every swat I gave him.”
My jaw physically dropped open. He just said a moment ago that he agreed he was too harsh, now he thinks he did nothing wrong? Honestly, that hurt worse than the spanking. I soon felt tears gathering in my eyes. “Asshole!” I yelled and stormed out of the room. I couldn’t stand to hear anymore.
I didn’t have anywhere to go. I just left ‘my room’ in the manor if it could really be called that. I could go down to the cave, but I’m not sure if I am supposed to be grounded from there or not. I couldn’t go for a walk, because Bruce had said I was grounded to the manor. I was actually specifically grounded to my room, but it was a little crowded at the moment. I don’t even know why I care about being grounded. I’m an adult. I can’t really be grounded, could I? I’m not sure. Normally, I would probably risk Bruce’s wrath and just leave regardless, but I don’t think I could do that this time. For one thing, I was still in a tremendous amount of pain. I could just take some painkillers and soldier on, but I still feared getting another spanking on top of the last one. Bruce might have said he wouldn’t do that to me again until I healed, but I’m not sure I really believed him.
Even if I did leave, I didn’t have anywhere to go. Bruce knew about my hideout at the police shelter, and it would be the first place he would look. I don’t have my floating city block of a spaceship anymore. I don’t have any friends in Gotham. I guess there is Tim. Tim had tried to help me out already. I’m guessing Dick must have sent Alfred that picture he took last night and that’s why Alfred wanted to see me for himself. I couldn’t risk Tim or even Dick getting in trouble with Bruce over me. It wasn’t fair to them.
I had been wandering aimlessly around the manor until I came to the first-floor main living room. On the couch was Titus. I sat next to the pooch who wagged his tail at the sight of company. I pet him and rubbed his belly while I let my thoughts trail off.
I had been lounging for maybe 30 minutes or so when I started to hear my name being yelled around the house. Great. They remembered I existed. I didn’t want to get up or tell them where I was. I wished I could’ve sunk into the couch, and they could all go back to thinking I was dead, again.
“Jason!” Bruce yelled nearby.
I really wanted to ignore him, but I figured he’d find me eventually. “What?” I asked.
Bruce quickly came storming over to me. “Did you not hear me calling you?” He asked roughly. I didn’t verbally answer, but instead shrugged my shoulders. “You are in enough trouble as it is. You should probably try to be more cooperative.”
“I didn’t leave the house.” I replied in my defense. I dared to look up at Bruce. He looked pissed, like I had left and murdered someone else. He looked like he was going to beat me again. I subconsciously cowered. I hated myself for being so weak at this moment.
I could see Bruce grinding his teeth together, like he was seriously trying to keep his anger under control. “We need to talk.”
I didn’t expect him to come to that conclusion. “I’ll talk, when Dick and Tim are here.” I didn’t expect myself to say that, either.
“Fine.” Bruce said through clenched teeth. “I’ll call them over. You go upstairs and shower.”
My lip pouted. I knew I needed a shower, but I’ve been in too much pain to take one. “Can’t I wait until tomorrow?”
“No.” Bruce answered sternly. “If you don’t take a shower now, I’ll give you a sponge bath.”
I think an actual whine might have escaped my lips. Both options sucked. “Why can’t I wait till tomorrow?”
“Because, your backside needs to be cleaned.” Bruce spoke as if it were the most obvious logic in the world. I honestly hadn’t looked back there yet. I didn’t see the need to worry myself with how I looked. I supposed Bruce must have noticed something when he saw me earlier. I wondered if I had actually bled from the belt. “Now hurry up.”
I slowly got off the couch and made my way back to my bathroom upstairs. There were fresh towels laid out on the sink, along with some pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt. I’m sure it must have been Alfred that put these things here. I turned on the shower to let it get warmed up. I decided to finally take a look at my backside in the mirror. It was pretty bad. I was bruised from the top of my butt all the way to about mid-thigh. The bruises ranged from light green to deep purple in places where I had been hurting the most. I could see a few cuts in my skin from where I must have bled from. They were on the middle of my butt where I got hit the most. I could also see that they were still bright red, which could be a sign of a budding infection. That’s probably why Bruce wanted me to go shower. I stared for a few moments longer, before the mirrors fogged up from the steam of the shower.
The shower was difficult, yet satisfying. Showers are usually the most relaxing part of my day. It was a little more complicated today, though, because I had to try not to get my backside directly under the head of the shower. It took me a longer than normal, but no more than 25 minutes. After getting dressed, I wondered if I should go back to my room or wait downstairs on the couch for everyone to arrive. I finally decided to head back to my room and wait there.
I’m guessing I made the right choice because I found Tim hanging out on my bed, waiting for me. He gave me a warm smile when I came in. I didn’t return his smile. I wasn’t all that happy, but I was glad he was here with me.
“How are you feeling, Jason?” Tim asked nicely.
I shrugged my shoulders. “The same, I guess.”
I could tell that he was hoping I was feeling somewhat better. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.” I reminded him. “It’s that asshole’s fault.”
“I take it he didn’t apologize to you?”
“Nope! Said I deserved everything I got.” I watched as Tim’s face fell into a pout.
“He is an asshole for saying that.” I raised my eyebrows at Tim. Everyone knew Tim never swears. It’s as rare as hearing Alfred swear. “What? It’s true!”
I let a light laugh escape my lips. “Yes, he is.” Tim smiled at my laugh. “Where’s Dick?”
“He’s downstairs talking with Bruce.”
“Were you guys together when Bruce called?” I asked curious as to why they arrived around the same time and so soon.
“Yeah, Dick usually stays at my place when he’s in town. None of us really like staying here, for obvious reasons.” Clearly, Tim was referring to Bruce as that obvious reason.
Alfred appeared at the door to my room. “Master Bruce requests your presence downstairs in the main living room.” Tim and I both nodded and made our way down there.
Tim sat next to me on sofa. I sat next to Titus. Dick was seated on a different sofa. Alfred sat beside him. Bruce sat across from me on a chair and Damian sat in a matching chair as his father. This truly was going to be a family meeting. Damian shot me daggers as I pet Titus, but I just ignored him.
“We all need to talk.” Bruce was the first one to speak. “Although this is mostly between Jason and myself, I have been reminded that I should openly talk to everyone about what is going on. We shall discuss this as a family.” Bruce took in a deep breath before continuing. “As you are all aware, Jason murdered Penguin a few days ago, live on television.” Damian snorted in disgust as he crossed his arms. “I strictly forbade Jason from killing anyone, yet he disobeyed. Jason, do you disagree with anything I’ve said so far?”
Everyone in the room turned their attention on me. “Nope.” I said as I kept my focus on Titus.
Bruce nodded his head. “And for his disobedience, I have punished him and have grounded him.”
Dick narrowed his eyes on Bruce. “You beat him. You were overly cruel to him. That’s not punishment, that’s abuse, Bruce.”
Damian was the only one who had not witnessed what Bruce had done to me. He was also the only one that was willing to defend Bruce. “Todd deserved whatever he got from father!”
I rolled my eyes at his inherent trust of Bruce. Dick was the one to come to my defense once again. “Damian, there is a difference between punishment and abuse. None of us ever deserve what happened to Jason.”
Damian was about fight back, but Bruce reached over to put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. Bruce was next to speak. “I was harsh on Jason. I will admit that. I should not have punished him when I was as angry as I was. I’m sorry for that.” I perked up when Bruce tried to give an apology. “But I don’t think I was abusive, as Dick thinks I was.”
“I’m not the only one that thinks that!” Dick yelled. “Tim?”
“Yeah, I think Jason met all of the defined standards of physical abuse.” Tim agreed.
“I have to agree with Masters Dick and Tim. While I agree that Master Jason should have been given some level of physical discipline, I do believe that he was given an inappropriate amount.” It was good to hear Alfred say he didn’t think I should have been beaten as badly as I was.
“Well, Jason, what are your thoughts?” All eyes turned on me after Bruce asked for my thoughts.
“I’m sorry I killed Penguin. I shouldn’t have done it.” No one reacted to my apology. “I expected you to punish me. If I wanted to escape, I wouldn’t have gone back to my hideout, when you threatened me there last time you thought I might have killed someone. I figured you’d spank me just like you did last time I got in trouble with you. I just didn’t expect what happened.” I had trouble finding words after that. I noticed my pulse increased and my breathing became faster. Tim gave me an encouraging shoulder rub. I buried my face into Titus’ back, just in case I started to cry again. I couldn’t let everyone see me do that. “It hurt alot. It still hurts alot. I don’t know if its abuse, because I’m not a child, but I don’t think it’s right to call it punishment either.” The silence in the room became more suffocating as everyone continued waiting for me to finish my thoughts. “I think you were angry with me, which is fair. But I also think you took out your anger on me, and that wasn’t fair.” I was now picking individual dog hairs off the couch as I let everyone take in what I said.
I think everyone held their own thoughts back as they waited for Bruce to respond to what I said. “Jason, I understand how that must have upset you, to have been punished so harshly, but I stand by my decision to have been harsh towards you. I think you acted without considering the consequences, and unfortunately, this was the consequence. You took your punishment, and now you will abide by the other half of your punishment.”
I dove my head into the space between Titus and the back of the couch. I couldn’t let anyone see the tears that fell.
“Well, none of us agree with you Bruce.” Dick said with his conviction.
“You don’t have to.” Bruce bit back. “I am the parent here and I decide how things like this get handled.”
“Bruce, we are your adult sons. Me, Jason and Tim. We aren’t children and we don’t deserve to be treated like we are.”
“Would you rather I let the police arrest you, Jason? First degree murder? You were literally caught live on television. I’m sure that will go over well for your jury trial.” Bruce wasn’t wrong. I’d rather deal with this right now, than be sent to prison for life. “Everything you do has consequences. This is your consequence for what you did.”
“Bruce, you know Jason wouldn’t want that.” This time it was Tim that spoke up for me. I’m sure he saw my head buried and knew I wasn’t going to say anything else. “But that shouldn’t be our only options. To either be sent to prison or be beaten harshly. That could have been any of us.”
“Should I have beaten Damian that harshly when he killed someone?” Dick jumped on to Tim’s point. “Should I have told him that he should either accept the abuse or go to prison.”
“That’s not the same thing, and you know it!” Bruce quickly came to Damian’s defense.
“Leave me out of this!” Damian pleaded. “I haven’t done anything like that in a long time. I wouldn’t either. Unlike Todd.”
I was kinda glad they were too loud fighting to hear my crying. I couldn’t take it anymore. It was just too much for me. Bruce was right. I deserved everything I got. I was shitty for breaking Bruce’s biggest rule. I deserved to feel as bad as I did. I deserved to be hated by Bruce. I deserved his anger.
The back and forth lasted several more minutes. Each side shouted back at the other. Suddenly, everything grew silent. I dared peak my eyes up to see why everything was quiet. Bruce was standing and making his way over towards me. He grabbed me by my arm and hoisted me up and into his chest. I felt one hand on the back of my head patting my hair down and the other on my mid back.
“Jason, I still love you no matter what.” I was confused but didn’t say anything. Maybe I had accidentally been saying out loud what I was thinking in my head moments ago. “I never did hold you after your punishment, did I?” I shook my head. “Maybe I was too harsh on you. I know you are strong, but sometimes I forget that you still need your father to hold you and comfort you too.” His words were soothing. I couldn’t help but continue to cry even more onto his shoulder. “It’s ok son, daddy’s got you. You are ok. It’s ok, Jason. Everything will be ok.”
Bruce paused from comforting me for a moment to address everyone else in the room. “Why don’t you guys head down to the cave? I’ll meet you down there in a while.”
I heard the shuffle of feet around me as everyone left. I still had my head in the nook of Bruce’s shoulder. I was more embarrassed than ever. Everyone not only saw me crying, but also saw me crying in Bruce’s arms like a baby as he cooed me.
Once everyone had left, Bruce pulled me to sit down in his lap on the couch. Titus was no longer there. I was separated from Bruce’s chest, and he was looking at me. I couldn’t look up at him. He put his fingers under my chin and pushed my head upwards so I could be at eye level with him. “Jason.” He cooed once again. “Son, its ok. It’s just you and me now.” I nodded, but had nothing else to say. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it till just now. I’m sorry I put you through all of this. I shouldn’t have punished you when I was as mad as I was.”
I really wasn’t expecting him to sound so sincere. It was almost as if he meant what he was saying. “There they are, your emerald eyes.” He commented as I finally looked at him in the face. Bruce’s blue eyes stared back at me. There was a smile in his weathered face. It’s only when you look at someone this closely that you notice all of the finer details of their skin and how much they’ve aged. I don’t think I have any aging marks on my face, but I also have never looked this closely at my own face. “Say what’s on your mind, Jay, I won’t judge you or get mad at you.”
“I’m really sorry, dad.” I got out through my hiccupping cries. “I’m sorry I made you so mad. I’m sorry I broke your rule. I tried really hard not to.”
Bruce brushed away some tears that had fallen onto my cheeks. “I wish I could believe you, son. I don’t think I have a whole lot of trust left in you. That’s the truth. I thought I could trust you enough to just not kill someone, and yet you couldn’t even not do that.” My lip quivered as I knew he was right about me. He had no reason to believe me or trust me. “But Dick and everyone else was right, none of that could justify what I did to you. And for that I’m sorry and I will seek your forgiveness.”
I leaned in to rest my head against Bruce’s chest once again. “It’s ok. I deserved it.”
“No, you didn’t, Jason!” Bruce admonished. “That was the whole point to this meeting. You even said so yourself. You didn’t deserve that. Nobody deserves what I did to you. I’m sorry. You deserved better.”
“What made you change your mind?” I asked thoughtfully.
“Well, it was you.” Bruce had an honest smile on his face. “I looked over to you and saw how much this was affecting you. I realized that no matter how much I thought I might have been right, all that really mattered was how you felt. I should never have hurt you the way I did. My anger should not have been the deciding factor for how much punishment you got.”
I didn’t really react to what Bruce was saying to me. I was pretty worn out by that point. “I’m sleepy. Is it ok if I just go to bed?”
Bruce warmly smiled at me. “You can go to bed if you’d like. Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat first?”
I was hungry, but I was more tired than anything. “Can you wake me up for dinner?” That sounded like a fair compromise to me.
Bruce nodded and then leaned down to give me a kiss on my forehead. I didn’t really mind because I had been craving his affection ever since he gave me such a painful beating. The only good part of being punished was the comforting that came after. I just hoped it wouldn’t end just because I was tired. I would hope it would continue for atleast another day or two. I think I earned that much. “I love you, Jason.”
“Love you too, dad.” I hugged him tight before letting go to go to bed.