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Ben wasn’t going to complain about having a bed to sleep on, especially one that was apparently out of the way and safe. It had been a long day after all. The group had landed in Costa Rica, had that whole ordeal, and before they could even get settled they were flown to America. The police had tried to talk to them but before any of that could happen they were shipped off to a hospital.
Not to mention the many months of never-ending running, and hiding, and running, and screaming. The exhaustion was a part of his bones at this point.
So, no, he wasn’t going to complain about having a supposedly safe bed to sleep in for the night. He made sure it was to his liking, chucking the pillow on the ground and doing his best to lock the door. (Apparently, for safety reasons it couldn’t be locked. Sure.)
Someone had offered to check in on him during the night but like he was ever going to let that happen. It was bad enough that, for more apparent safety reasons, he wasn’t allowed to visit his friends.
But he was doing what he could because this was supposed to be their fresh start. They were supposed to reintegrate into society and do normal people things. Why start that on the wrong foot? Everyone else seemed okay with their designated rooms and he should be happy to get a good night's sleep.
Ben had been tossing and turning for four hours. It was nearly five in the morning.
All his eyes wanted to do was to close but he fixated them on the door. Sounds surrounded him, some terrifying familiar and some so foreign he could barely make out what they were.
The beeps of machines and occasional shout from down the hall. Cars and announcements in voices he didn't recognize. An elevator dings, haunting machines beep from all around his room. Smells suffocate his nose. They’re too clean.
Something is always missing.
His senses search for the snores of his friends or the distant roar of a dinosaur. As terrifying as they were, they were familiar. The breathing of the rainforest.
This was hollow.
And loud.
So loud.
It didn’t feel right and it didn’t feel like home. Ben pulled his hands over his ears and curled into a ball. It was too loud.
It was too loud.
So loud.
But he had promised Darius that he was going to try and then it had all been delayed and then everything had gotten worse and now they were here and somehow this was worse. This was worse. There was no one around him but the world was too loud.
He threw the blanket on the floor, muffling a scream into the mattress.
The bleach-white walls were haunting in the dark. They were decorated with splotches of colors from all kinds of machines. Coming in closer and closer.
Tears tracked down his face.
Home was so far away.
It was so loud.
So loud.
Surely everyone else was doing just fine - he didn’t want to disturb them or make them worry about him. Ben belonged back in the real world. Like Darius said, if he could be brave Ben on the island then why couldn’t he be brave Ben here? And why did he feel so scared?
Ben’s life was on a precipice and he knew he had so much of it ahead of him but how was he supposed to create a whole new life when he had one he loved? It had been pretty shitty sometimes but he knew the rules and he knew how to survive. He had Bumpy or Firecracker.
Here, he just has a hole in his heart.
Ben had too many people, a scream that was building, and floods of tears. But no one else had to know - they didn’t have to feel bad for his feelings.
“I miss you,” he whispered to no one.
Ben curled himself into the bed, silently wishing that he had grass to lay on instead.
…
Kenji was completely silent around their table, picking at his food and doing his best to not let his extremely complicated feelings get the rest of his friends down. Their parents were all supposed to be flying into the city today and they were going to be there any minute. Needless to say, Kenji felt like the odd one out.
Sammy was nervous but beyond happy. Yaz had a bigger grin on her face than Kenji had ever seen. Brooklynn was bouncing. Darius was barely staying seated. And even Ben was sneaky a smile to himself every now and again. Meanwhile, Kenji wanted to sink under a table and never be seen by anyone ever again.
Just thinking about his parents made him want to barf. His mom was barely around to the point where he was doubting if she’d even show up to this and his dad was… well his dad. But who was he to make this special moment better for all his friends? (They were practically his family now and he didn’t want to drive them away.)
He completely zoned out of the conversation, choosing instead to focus not the rhythmic tapping of his fork against the table and trying not to think about his own family reunion. Hopefully, everyone else’s went better.
When he looked up, more adults were there. Sammy and her mom looked insanely alike and Sammy was happily tucked in her embrace. Yaz was in tears but he didn’t have to worry that they were sad ones. Brooklynn had her hands out, clearly telling an enthralling story to her dads. Darius’s eyes were wide and millions of thoughts were plastered on his face. Ben gave a reluctant hug.
And Kenji was happy for them, he really was. That was what he wanted to tell himself anyway.
“Stupid dad, not being around for my stupid childhood. Stupid stupid stupid,” he muttered to himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. Did he ever really think that He could have anything like this? Why did he ever think that he would return to s loving family? Why did he ever think that his dad would be here for him after all he had been through instead of making it worse?
He wasn’t ever going to have a normal family, was he?
Everyone else could. They could have help from their family and build up a more normal life for themselves. Kenji didn’t want to be jealous. It wasn’t their fault and deep down maybe he had always known that his dad hadn’t been the most normal parent in the world. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
Sammy shot him a quick thumbs up.”You good?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Very fine. The finest.”
“You sure?” Darius added.
Everyone else was starting to look at him. Then they would see his panic and they would feel bad and then he would be ruining everything. Nope, not on his watch, this was supposed to be a great situation. He froze for a second.
“Totally. I just gotta go to the bathroom.”
And he was gone.
And he wasn’t able to ruin everyone for everyone.
Kenji rested his head against the wall, trying to keep to himself, trying not to think about how messed up literally everything had gotten.
Alone, Kenji tried his best to keep his silent tears to a minimum. Crying really wasn’t his favorite thing in the world but it did make him feel a little better, a little less like the world wanted to kill him.
…
Sammy wanted to sink into the ground. The police officer's eyes were digging into her - a constant torturous reminder of what she was here for. It was hard to remember that she technically hadn’t done anything wrong. It was hard to remember that under the law she was still a minor - a child.
The only one who had done anything wrong was Kash, and Mr. Kon, and all the bastards at Mantah Corp. She had nothing to fear and she had already pushed this meeting back too far. (She couldn’t believe it had already been a week since she hugged her mom and a day till she saw the ranch again.)
“When did you first come into contact with Mantah Corp?” The officer asked.
“About ten months ago. A couple weeks before I left for Jurassic World,” she hesitantly said. Nothing wrong with sticking to the facts.
“And what did Mantah Corp say to your parents.” They checked against their notes.
“Kash was the one who came to the ranch - the one who pressured my family. He said that unless I went to Camp Cretaceous and spied for them they would take over my family's ranch, he even threatened my parents with violence.”
“You’re sure his name was Kash? Is that with a k or a c?”
Was she sure? As if that man wasn’t haunting every dream she would ever have for years and years to come. As if she hadn’t had to watch as he once again threatened her family. As if he hadn’t followed up on those threats of violence. Kash was unhinged.
“K. And yes, I’m sure.”
“Were you in contact with this Kash while at the camp?”
“Umm, we weren’t really allowed phones at camp.” (Except Brooklynn and no she was really trying not to think about that.) “So, I didn’t have contact with cash then but I did give them some information on a USB stick once, and then recently when we got stranded on the new island I had to see Kasha again.”
“What kind of information was on this USB?”
“Information about the dinosaurs that the Masranni company was creating.” At least, as far as she was aware that was what it was. It did lead to Angel and Rebel living in the worst conditions for a dinosaur. That was evidence enough that it was DNA and the guilt for something like that, for being a part of all the sick things Mantah Corp did every day made her feel sick.
“Did your parents know what you were doing?”
“No.” Sammy took a deep breath. “I left without telling them. Because I couldn’t let them lose the ranch on my behalf. It didn’t feel right, it didn’t feel fair.”
And maybe Mantah Corp was one their way to being dismantled now with all the evidence they had uncovered and maybe she had been right to want to protect her family. But somehow, she felt like it was all her fault, and seeing all these facts laid out in front of her, the same as the day when the truth came out to Yaz, and all the rest of her friends, it was just reminding of how badly she had messed up.
It was supposed to be a couple week trip.
“Your information has been very helpful,” the officer finally announced. “Combined with the information we have gathered from the island, a strong case against Mantah Crop might be possible.”
Might be possible. All this pain, all this suffering, both of dinosaurs and people only for Sammy to be told that these monsters might be punished for what they have done. Sammy wasn’t usually the type to yell but all she wanted to do was scream until the roof caved in and her ears started bleeding.
…
Yaz stood at the start of the track, her hands balled into fists and her eyebrows creased into knots. It was a hot day, the sun beating down onto her and small heat lines radiated off the red gravel. This place felt like a long distant memory, a friend she knew in another life.
Her mom sat on the bleachers, happily giving her a thumbs up. Yaz took a deep breath, shaking out the tension in her body and placing weight from leg to leg. She was getting better for her mom. So they could have their old life back. Yaz was getting strong for them. So she didn’t need to wake up in the middle of the night, exhausting both of them.
The first meet-up with her friends was arranged for a couple weeks away and she desperately wanted to be better for them, show her friends how well she was doing. Yaz needed to take her trauma by the reigns and strangle it until it couldn’t hurt her anymore.
Starting with, doing something fun for once.
Running was fun. She loved running. She loved the adrenaline in her veins and she loved the power it gave her. The feeling that she was in charge and she just needed to get better and faster. The feeling that nothing else mattered.
“I got this.”
Yaz bent over, fingertip barely touching the track and eyes right ahead.
“I got this.”
Kicking off, she let the wind whip through her hair, and the small burning in her chest focus her. The scenery dispelled into outlines and all Yaz could see was more red track around her. It was all that mattered.
In and out. Keep her legs going. One leg at a time. Keep going. In and out. One step at a time.
Run.
Fucking Run.
Yaz stumbled, the ground coming terrifying close to her face, knees crumbling under her weight. She gritted her teeth. The world was spinning.
Heartbeat after heartbeat. Something was behind her. Keep going. Nothing she could do but run. Why wasn’t she running? Why wasn’t she running?
Desperate, Yaz pushed herself up… only to come right back down.
She nearly tore out her hair.
Why was this being ruined as well? Weren’t panic attacks in real situations bad enough? Weren’t the nightmares enough? Wasn’t life unfair enough?
Heart pounding. Breathing too fast. Sweat dripping down her forehead. Fingernails digging into her side. The urge to run. The urge to freeze. Tears.
“Fuck.” All she wanted to do was go on a fucking run. “Fuck!”
Suddenly, her mom was there. And a hand was on her back, trying to be soothing but it did nothing but feel dangerous. Yaz shriveled away, pushing herself into the burning ground but the pain was nothing.
“Yasmina? Yaz!”
“I'm sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“No, no, no, you have nothing to be sorry for. Do you want me to call your friends? Do you want to go home?”
Yaz buried herself into her mom. “No, no. I-I have to be strong.”
Shaking, Yasmina curled herself up and faced down the track. She would do this a million times over if it meant that she didn’t have to be terrified constantly. All she had to do was put it to the back of her mind and keep going, feel normal again.
Disappointment. (Sammy would tell her that she was being too hard on herself.) One foot in front of the other. Trying to find her new normal.
…
School. Literally hell on earth and it was turning out to be just as bad as everyone said it would be. Brooklynn was stuck at school. It was only her third day (but nearly a third into the school year) and she was despising it. Her therapist and her dads said it would be whats’s best for her and that she needed to ‘connect with other children.’
Read, connect with children who weren’t also traumatized and she wasn’t pretty much codependent with.
She’d heard the horror stories but was entirely thankful that she never had to go to secondary school but it seemed her luck was running out. And after she’d made the executive design to hold off on starting her YouTube channel back up she didn’t even have that as an excuse.
Forced to dye her hair brown, and then subjected to a group of teenagers who knew exactly who she was (and she never expected to ever be disappointed by that fact) and also dealing with a shitty sleep schedule and flashbacks in the middle of literally anything. Sure, this seemed like the best way to go about this.
So far, the only thing she had learned was that teenagers could be really mean and be really sneaky about it. At least dinosaurs were clear with their intentions to eat you alive.
Walking between classes, and trying desperately not to get lost, there were too many people. Far, far, too many people. Too many sounds. Too many glances in her direction when all she wanted to do was hide away forever. Too many people she didn’t know, didn’t know if she could trust. Too little space.
The brads were closing in on them and there was nowhere to run.
Faces turned metal and eyes turned red, scanning her and registering someone who shouldn’t be there.
Just breathe.
After only seeing six people for the majority of six years of course she was going to get nervous. It was going to happen. Just breathe.
“How’s it going, feral child?” Someone asked and she realized that she’d been standing still in the middle of the hallways. Frozen. And vulnerable. There were exits at either end.
“F-fine. How are you?” And then she realized that it wasn’t meant endearingly in any way. Right, teenagers could be mean. People had already been hard enough to figure out how to deal with before.
Before being isolated. Before Tiff and Mitch. Before just issues. Before Doctor Wu. Before the mercenaries. Before Kash. Before Kenji’s dad. Before having to revaluate every person in her life over the smallest incident because they might be secretly trying to kill her or her friends.
Malicious smiles that were dripping with pain. Guns and promises of blood. Oh, how she really wished she wasn’t right about them. Oh, how she wished that she wasn’t about to die.
“Do you need to go see your therapist or something? Are you that fucked up?”
Brooklynn staggered backward, cruel grins that weren’t hiding anything flickering in her mind. And honestly, she didn’t have a response. She guessed it was better that way - stay quiet and they wouldn’t have any more ammunition, stay calm and she could keep it all hidden.
No one would understand anyway.
School. Literally the worst place on earth. All she wanted to do was cry but all that would do was make it all worse. There was no time to cry when running from dinosaurs and no time to cry when you get hit with a crippling flashback on your way to chemistry.
…
A month after getting home and the media storm was finally able to catch up to them. Darius had watched the headlines day after day. He watched the media buzz as fuzzy images of them circles online and the small and void statements related by the Masrani company. ‘Feral children’ they were dubbed by the media.
The name used to sting.
Some big talk show had finally offered their parents enough money that going on a show seemed like a good idea. ‘For their college funds.’ To be honest, and it wasn’t that big of a secret, but most of them only agreed to do it so they could see each other again.
Brooklynn living all the way in London, Sammy in Texas, and everyone else spread in every possible place in between, there wasn’t hat many opportunities for the gang to get back together again.
Now, they were all sat on a sofa, pristinely done up with hair and makeup (though not enough to ruin the branding) and answering questions from an overly enthusiastic presenter. He had bushy curly hair and in another life, Darius noted, complexity zoned out, he could have been Kash’s cousin. The thought didn’t exactly help him feel better.
“Now, as much as I, and the rest of the country, admire your survival, I know we are much more shocked by your determination and activism for the dinosaurs of Isla Nublar.”
An image of Darius’s Instagram was thrown up on the screen behind them.
“Can you tell me what that was like, to be running from these creatures and then have to turn around and protect them from poachers and scientists?”
He made eye contact with Darius and his heart started racing.
The decision to save his friends or stop the fight was in his hands. The phone was lingering right out of sight but all he could really see was a distraught Yaz and a Brooklynn and Sammy who thought it was safer if they didn’t tell him.
“I’m sure there must have been some conflict of interest there?”
That guilt would never really leave him.
Kenji was the first to speak up. “It was pretty mind-boggling. At first, I couldn’t see them as more than just theme part attractions but we faced a lot of the same threats as the dinosaurs and after you go through something like that with someone, you can’t help but be bonded with them for life.” He nudged Yaz performatively, snapping her out of a small trance.
Darius didn’t remember the rest of the interview. Kenji and Brooklynn carried most of it and their voices sounded just as fake as the first time he met them.
Collapsing into a chair in the dressing room was the next time he allowed himself to breathe. His heart was racing and he was beyond dizzy.
“Did anyone else feel like they were going crazy?” Sammy asked.
A chorus of agreement sprung up from the rest of the room.
“I know we agreed to do the interview,” Brooklynn said, rubbing her face. “But they are never that invasive. He was asking some pretty out-of-order questions, especially towards the end there. I mean, what even was that one about depression near the end there. Most self-respecting interviewers let you bring something like that up, or any least tell you beforehand. And couldn’t they tell that we were all on the verge of a breakdown there or did they just add to their perfect image of six broken children?”
She was met with agreed silence.
“I guess the past couple of weeks haven’t been the best for any of you either?” Darius asked. “I mean that question was the final straw but the past month has been rough.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Yaz asked.
“I mean, I never had nightmares when we were on Nublar and even on that Mantah Corp island I was too busy but… when he asked me that question I had a flashback and I guess I’ve been getting them a lot recently.”
“I get them too,” Ben chimed in. “And sometimes I see things that aren’t actually there. It’s like I’ve taken pieces of that island back with me. The good and bad.”
“Sometimes the shitty feelings are so bad I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning,” Yaz said.
“I hear my dad’s voice in my head on loop,” Kenji added.
“My brain somehow finds a way to link nearly every situation to something that happened. Literally, the smallest thing in the world could be a trigger,” said Brooklynn.
Sammy sighed. “I don’t think I get more than four hours of sleep a night. And if one of you don’t message before I go to bed, I can’t sleep or I’ll be worrying.”
Darius looked around. Knowing they all dealt with it made him feel a little better. This wasn’t something he had to suffer through alone.
At least for today, his family was there to make him feel better. And, at least for today, all the group hugs he could ever want were on the table. Darius wouldn’t trade them for anything.