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Even if the camping had been something random and spontaneous, and he did all the work —as always—, Byeonghee felt deep inside his chest a feeling of realization and pure peace, along with a vibrant bliss. Looking at the dark sky beside the bonfire that was consuming itself little by little, Byeonghee fell in love with that day.
After some minutes of stargazing, he heard the sliding door being opened and after some seconds of what he believed was doubt, the door was softly closed behind other soft sounds of footsteps. Not many moments after, Byeonghee saw out of the corner of his eyes the beautiful teasing smile of none less than Jeon Doyum. Byeonghee smiled back at him in a world record.
“What are you doing, hyung? Everyone is getting ready to sleep,” he said, voice small, smile big.
Byeonghee tried to position his body in a way to look at Doyum better, but failed, so instead, he just bent his neck in an inhumane way. He may have looked ridiculous, but watching the sweet face of Doyum was always a priority.
“I'm just stargazing. But why aren't you sleeping yet? It's late, Doyum-ah,” he almost whispered.
He was feeling kind of stunned. He felt so happy that it was hard to be anything but relaxed.
Doyum stared at him for what felt like years, until he cleared his throat and changed his attention to the stars above.
“You know I hate to sleep early.”
That seemed like his whole answer, and Byeonghee knew he didn't have to really press on it. He would never know if it was stress, anxiousness, or Doyum just liked to have fun at night, but Byeonghee respected his wish to be awake until late hours. That had a limit, though, so some days Byeonghee would actually make him go to sleep by force. It wouldn't be a first to grab him, put him on his shoulder like a potato sack and throw him in his bed —nothing… weird intended, okay?—.
He knew it was a little hypocritical because he was awake at those ungodly hours too, but hey, it was better to make Doyum have healthier habits than him.
“Do you mind if I join you? Stargazing, that I meant,” Doyum asked, suddenly.
Byeonghee looked at Doyum again, but found his pretty face looking straight at the night sky. He nodded with his head either way.
“Of course, Doyumie. Inside my backpack there's an extra blanket if you don't want to lay straight on the floor. It's kinda wet though. Weird, if you ask me. It didn't rain the whole day.”
While he was talking, Doyum was already unfolding the blanket on the floor, making himself comfortable on said piece of cloth.
They were considerably close. Doyum's hand was just at hand stretch distance. If Byeonghee wanted- No, if both of them wanted, they could reach each other and hold hands the whole night.
“I believe it rained before we came here and the day was horrible. I guess it didn't dry completely.”
“The day was not horrible! It was sunny.”
“It was sunny for like an hour, then it became cloudy when I was trying to start the fire to grill the meat. I swear someone blessed us before coming here because today was totally going to rain.”
Byeonghee couldn't watch him, but he was one hundred percent Doyum was pouting. He giggled, smiling at the stars like the lovestruck idiot he was.
“Well, you're right. There must be someone above there that loves you, Doyum-ah.”
“Maybe, who knows.”
A peaceful silence was brought in seconds. Byeonghee almost felt like he could sleep for hours just having the presence of Doyum by his side.
It was unnecessary for them to touch to feel the burning skin to skin contact. Byeonghee was sure that they never felt that close in all those years of knowing each other.
At the end of the day, they didn't really have a chance to be together and alone . Just at night, and they were always doing assignments or enjoying their free time with their hobbies. They could even spend hours just sitting side by side, looking at their laptops or cellphones in perfect harmony.
That's one of the millions reasons why Byeonghee fell in love with Jeon Doyum. He was there, and it made him happy. Even if he wasn't talking. Even if he wasn't paying any attention to him, he just loved to share the same space. And they would be just glad to have each other, because they could start a conversation whenever they wanted and they would be listened to by the other without issues.
“You know, Doyumie,” Byeonghee started, crossing his arms in his tummy. “You're a savior.”
Doyum laughed, more like giggled, with his adorable high pitched laugh that happened to be so usual when he was spending time with Byeonghee. More reasons for why he fell in love, really.
Sometimes Doyum was so different when he was with Byeonghee only, but in a good way. Doyum acted like himself, like the adorable fluffy ball that he was. The guy that loved to be babied just as much as Sangwoo or even Chuji. His cute dongsaeng who loved stupid jokes, mischievousness and cuddles.
Byeonghee loved that Doyum considered him close enough to be an open book with him, to be himself, and Byeonghee felt that being Jeon Doyum's safe spot was too much of an honor to not decide to be by his side for the rest of eternity. (And he was Byeonghee's, too.)
“A savior? Why?” Doyum moved into his space a little, getting closer to Byeonghee's body. Unconsciously? On purpose? Who knows. “I know that my grilled meat is fantastic, but it's not that good, hyung.”
“Okay, first, your grilled meat is great and you could be my savior just because of that. Have that inside your mind, Jeon Doyum, I mean it.”
A way to a man's heart was by the stomach, ain't it? At least, to Byeonghee, was partially true. A foody to some people, a cuisine lover to himself.
“But... you were really there for me these whole days. Just- I'm really glad you're here, I guess.”
Doyum sighed, and he caught sight of him putting his hands on his tummy, just like Byeonghee was.
“I know the guys are lazy, but I wasn't the only one to help. You know it, hyung.”
Byeonghee rolled his eyes.
“Insisting a little bit you end up getting help. Still, I think you're just making you look less of what you are.”
He shifted his posture to rest on his elbows, forgetting the beautiful night sky to look at the two stars that mattered the most to him than the billions of stars in the universe. Doyum looked taken aback, considering how his pretty eyes were widely open, but made eye contact with him anyways.
Byeonghee smiled, feeling his heart beating a little harder and faster than it should.
“Not only grilling the meat, but cleaning with me, washing the dishes just seconds ago because no one else would do it but me, helping me move the boxes with groceries. Even with the list! You helped me get everything and also kept Sangwoo at bay with the things he was hiding for me to pay without noticing. And in general, keep the guys at bay at any moment,” Byeonghee laughed, his eyes closing naturally. “Even planning the whole trip for it to not be a disaster! Limji had a lot to do with it too, but I always recognize your handwriting. I know you changed a lot of things from Limji's itinerary to make it less impossible to accomplish in two days. And now, you came looking for me because I wasn't inside.
»You mean too much. You are… everything to me, Doyumie.”
Doyum's face was priceless. Byeonghee even felt accomplished looking at his expression. He looked so shy, so proud, so embarrassed but so happy. Doyum looked like what poetry would look like in a human form.
Doyum was emotions. Doyum was words. And Byeonghee wanted to recite every single one of them.
“I hope you know that you mean more to me than this trip. If something, the whole happiness I'm feeling right now is because of you being here with me.”
Byeonghee smiled, shyly, and tried to catch Doyum's hand between his. To his surprise, before he could try to catch it, Doyum's hand was already holding his bigger one in a grip that could feel a little angry if it was someone else. But it was Doyum, and he knew his Doyumie too much to believe such nonsense.
Doyum was sitting before he could even notice, so he had to look up to appreciate his beautiful orbs.
“Can I… Can I-”
Doyum stuttered a bit, looking unsure but so full of something that wanted to explode. Byeonghee smiled at him, which seemed like it gave more confidence to his beautiful self.
“Byeonghee-hyung,” he finally said. “Can I kiss you?”
He looked like his Doyumie from head to toes. Shy, small, but so confident in his own way. So nervous but making his way through it. Trying to stand almighty with his cheeks and ears tinted a dark red. As always, his Doyumie was in front of him, the only person he could ever love that much. His beloved Jeon Doyum.
He nodded with his head, already closing the distance between their faces.
And then, like it was something that had to happen, both sets of lips found each other. Not a really clumsy exchange, but a nervous one. Their first kiss. Or really, the first kiss of two kids in love, which definitely made up for the stiffness and the red faces.
Maybe they weren't youngsters anymore, they didn't have thirteen to be acting like they just had their first kiss with another human being. But, Byeonghee watched the rest of his life in Doyum's eyes, and Doyum could only see Song Byeonghee with that same pair.
It had been a soft kiss, a short exchange, but so meaningful that left them feeling bubbly inside their hearts. Byeonghee couldn't help but laugh and flash Doyum with his smile. He gave Byeonghee one of his rarest smiles. A one of pure happiness. His gummy smile for only him to see.
“You're so pretty, Jeon Doyum.”
That phrase instead of deleting Doyum's huge smile just put another deep red in his face, making him look way more ethereal than before.
Honestly, Byeonghee felt like screaming. He was the happiest human in the whole Earth, without a doubt.
Byeonghee laid against the floor once again and, as if attracted by a magnet, Doyum laid on him, resting his head on his chest. And as if it was something natural, Byeonghee just held him tight against him, caging him between arms that would try to protect him from all the bad of the world for the rest of his life.
His beloved, as if those words were an usual thing to do, just mumbled: “I love you” against his skin, trying to engrave it in his skin.
Byeonghee just answered: “I love you too”, as expected, trying to record those words on Doyum's mind, putting it on repeat as if it was his new favorite song.
Everything was natural as they knowing that even if that was a first kiss, their last would be in their last breath on the Earth, looking at the stars like the first time, but only thinking about their only two real stars in the whole universe. Losing themselves in it. Losing themselves in the feeling of peacefulness and pure bliss.
Losing themselves to love. Unconditional love.