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Chifuyu impatiently taps the eraser end of his pencil against his desk. Every so often, he glances up to the classroom's clock with the barest hint of a frown. Normally an attentive student, Chifuyu thinks of everything else besides the teacher’s lecture about physics. Distantly, he hears the droning on and on about the inner workings of parabolas but he just can’t focus on the lesson for the life of him.
Not only is it a Friday that’s leading up to a three day weekend, but. But, there’s been something else on his mind. Something more than just the excitement of the promise of a whole three days off from school.
Lately, he’s been finding sweet, but short and simple, poems in the small cubby where he stores his shoes. Every Friday, like clockwork there’s a new typed up poem, from some secret admirer, that’s waiting for him- carefully tucked away in a plain envelope beneath the sole of one of his shoes.
Chifuyu slides down in his chair and bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling. Somehow, he’s found himself starring in his own version of the shoujo manga he reads and it leaves him as giddy as, well, a middle schooler with a newfound crush.
If only he knew who his secret admirer is.
His eyes settle on his slate grey book bag that’s resting next to the leg of his desk. He was resting his chin against the palm of his hand but Chifuyu has to shift his hand to cover up his losing battle to keep himself from smiling. There, in an inner pocket of the bag, are the poems.
Originally, he was going to keep the secret poems squirreled away somewhere in his room but the idea of his captain and one of his best friends, Baji, finding them is a mortifying thought. Baji, in all of his brash and brazen glory, would never ever let Chifuyu live this down.
If Baji found out, then it would only be a matter of time before Mikey knows. If Mikey knows, well, it’s no small secret that he can’t keep anything to himself (unless it’s food, of course) and he'd go off running to flap his mouth to Draken and Emma. If they know, then Mitsuya will also know; what with him and Draken being the Twin Dragons and everything. Once Mitsuya knows, Chifuyu can bet his weekly allowance that Hakkai will know too. Then when Hakkai finds out, he’ll tell Angry, who in turn will tell Smiley, who’ll go off and tell Mucho, who’ll tell Sanzu.
To be honest, Chifuyu can probably continue on and on but the idea of all of Toman knowing in one way or another is enough to make him stop making a list in his head to keep himself from self combusting in his chair.
When the bell finally rings after what felt like an eternity, Chifuyu is the first out one the door. He nearly barrels into an unsuspecting student in the hallway and in her surprise, she drops her books- sending them scattering across the floor. Hopping over a stray notebook, Chifuyu shouts out an apology and makes a dash towards the stairwell without another thought.
Your eyes, green as summer’s rolling hills.
Greener than emerald,
I feel like I’m richer than any king.
But somehow I’m still left wanting.
Chifuyu reads over the note a few more times with a smile. Just like always, the small and neatly typed poem was waiting for him under his shoe. He feels his ears already starting to heat up from a blush and he quickly ducks his head, hoping his hair will cover his reddening ears.
Carefully folding the note and sliding it into his pocket, he looks around, watching all of the students around him as they gather their belongings and happily chat away with friends about the three day weekend. Chifuyu can’t help but wonder if his secret admirer is somewhere amongst the crowd. Clearing his throat, Chifuyu toes off his uniform shoes and begins to lace up his regular tennis shoes.
Biting the inside of his lip, Chifuyu lets out a soft hum. There is one person who comes to mind but that’s more of a hopeful wish than an actual possibility. Not that he's accusing Baji of being uncreative or non poetic but he still (fondly) remembers how they met just three years prior. And as much as Chifuyu would love for Baji to be his secret admirer… Mikey disbanding Toman would be a more plausible reality than Baji being the poet behind these typed words.
Peeking over his shoulder again, he gauges the student mass around him and looks for anyone who might be watching him- waiting to see his reaction to the secret shared between him and one other person… unless this is some sort of weird twisted joke that a group of punks are pulling. Standing up with a sigh, Chifuyu shakes his head; the idea of someone trying to do this as a prank against Chifuyu isn’t very likely. Not when his less than stellar reputation from years ago still precedes him.
Before he can continue to exhaust himself by running metaphorical miles around and around in his mind about the identity of his secret admirer, he doesn’t notice a shadow loom over him until a hand rests against the cubby next to his head.
Blinking, he looks up and finds Baji watching him with a strange expression.
“Chifuyu.” Baji starts and Chifuyu nearly jumps out of his skin, instead he settles on a bright smile. For some reason, Baji doesn’t return the smile, his eyebrows furrow and he looks like there’s a question dancing on the tip of his tongue but he doesn’t quite know how to word it.
Sharp, earthy brown eyes with flecks of golden amber seem to pierce into Chifuyu’s very soul. Whatever Baji is looking for, he doesn’t find it and his face screws up like he just bit into an unripe lemon. But in an instant, his soured expression smoothes over and Baji finally gives Chifuyu a crooked smile of his own that sends Chifuyu’s heart into a circus act of staccato-like jumps and flips.
“Baji!” He airily greets, a hand flying to the jacket pocket where his poem is safely hidden from view. Baji follows his movement and tilts his head, making his glasses glint under the ceiling lights. That smile of his grows a little and a sharp canine bites down against his lower lip, turning the skin under his tooth a pale white that stands out in a stark contrast against his normally pink lips.
Out of nervous reflex, Chifuyu smooths down the pocket’s fabric before turning his attention to his bookbag. Sorting through his textbooks, Chifuyu pretends to make sure that he has all of his homework with him. Whether Baji isn’t noticing him being more fidgety than normal or if he just doesn’t really care- there’s no prodding or teasing demands for an answer. Much to Chifuyu’s relief.
“I’ve been waiting for you at the gate for ages.” Comes an annoyed complaint instead. Watching from the corner of his eye, a sun kissed tan hand reaches towards his ponytail and tugs the hair tie free- letting inky black hair spill over his shoulders like a river of silk.
“Ah.” Chifuyu replies dumbly as he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. Inwardly, he lets out a cry in despair. It’s not fair that his captain is so stupidly pretty. Now Chifuyu feels bad for his secret admirer and despite not knowing their identity, Chifuyu feels like he’s one step away from cheating on them just from being in Baji’s presence alone.
He clears his throat and presses those bubbling panicked thoughts down. He’ll sort through them later, preferably when he’s alone in his room so he can plan out his next course of action in peace and quiet.
Well, as much peace and quiet he can get while the cat incarnate of extreme clinginess lives in his apartment. It’s pretty much impossible for Chifuyu to do anything without Peke J twining tightly around Chifuyu’s legs threatening to trip him as the cat follows him around so closely that Peke J might as well just be Chifuyu’s shadow at this point.
Baji is still waiting for an answer as he takes off his glasses and carefully places them in his uniform jacket pocket. The longer Chifuyu takes, the higher Baji’s brows rise in amusement. If his captain is going to complain about having to wait, then Chifuyu might as well be a little cheeky.
“I was double checking for something really important.”
“Huh?” That piques his interest and Baji tilts his head. A lock of dark hair that was tucked behind his ear, falls out of place and Chifuyu has to hold back the urge to tuck the hair back in place. “What sorta ‘important’ thing is it this time? Last week you said it was because you had to go to the library for a new volume of a manga that hasn’t even been in print for five years.” Baji flashes him a toothy smile and Chifuyu feels his earlier blush come back with a vengeance.
“H-hey now-”
“And the time before that,” Baji cuts him off, “you mentioned somethin’ about having to go to the sewing club to get a repair on your uniform before your mom found out and got pissed at you for wasting her money… except, y’know, that doesn’t even make sense because you said it was the gang uniform.”
“I mean! Do you want me to go around with a hole in my sleeve? I’m the vice captain! I have to set an example for our division.”
“Sure, but that’s what Mitsuya’s here for.” Baji crosses his arms and gives an easy shrug.
“He’s already busy enough.” Chifuyu waves him off, “I don’t want to give him even more stuff to deal with. Besides, why would I go to a different captain to ask for repairs?”
“I’m your captain.” Baji flatly replies with a narrowed gaze. By now, most of the student body is gone besides a few stragglers. Now almost totally alone, Baji isn’t as tight lipped about bringing up Toman. “You trynna hint that I’m a shit captain for not getting your uniform repaired?”
“What? No! No, that’s not what I meant at all, Baji!” He violently shakes his head from side to side, vehemently denying the accusation. “I just meant that he’s not my captain so I just don’t see a reason to go to him… when I can get it fixed on my own.”
Baji studies him quietly before snorting as he rolls his eyes. Chifuyu’s shoulders drop in relief when his captain glances away with disinterest- instead setting his gaze on the last student leaving the school.
“Stop looking like I’m about to fucking deck you in the face, Chifuyu.” Looking back at him, Baji leans in close. A hand is resting beside his head once again, partially blocking him in. “I’m just curious about what’s your excuse gonna be this time.”
“There- there’s no excuse!” Chifuyu splutters, “I was just double checking that I had everything. Your mom wanted me to tutor you over the weekend.” He trails off and Baji’s teasing smile slips away in lieu of a frown.
“Why? I didn’t even fail anything this semester yet.” The other boy groans and stalks away, still grumbling under his breath about how unfair his mom is and how she should just be thankful that he’s passing his classes. No matter how low the grades are, they’re still counted as passing and that should be good enough.
“Well? You coming or not?” Baji asks as he looks over his shoulder, making Chifuyu dash after him.
It’s not until much later in the evening when Chifuyu gets to his own, darkened, apartment. Down the hall, he hears the drone of some talk show in his mom’s room. After taking off his shoes, he heads straight to the kitchen to fill Peke J’s food and water.
Knowing the small apartment like the back of his hand, he doesn’t bother to turn on any lights. Anyways, the small night light plugged in just above the sink is more than enough for Chifuyu. There’s a soft meow from somewhere in the shadows behind him and a second later Peke J is bumping his head affectionately against Chifuyu’s leg. Pausing, Chifuyu looks back in the direction of the hallway- listening for any sort of movement from his mother’s room.
He lets out a breath of relief when he doesn’t hear anything out of the ordinary.
Like Baji, Chifuyu also lives with just his mom. Unlike the Baji family that lives directly above them, Chifuyu has an extremely rocky relationship with his mom. There’s been more than a few instances where he’ll end up spending a solid week with the Bajis upstairs and each time, she’s never tried to find where he’s been. He supposes it could be a lot worse though. A negligent mother with a fiery temper is better than some of his other friends’ family situations.
Anyways, Chifuyu isn’t too hung up about the lost relationship between himself and his mom. Baji Nui has been more than kind enough to take him in and make sure that he has clothes and enough food for a still growing teenage boy’s appetite. Even though the Baji family's financial situation is already stretched a little thin, Nui has always made sure that Chifuyu is taken care of.
In the beginning, Chifuyu would try to deny her offer to help but stubbornness must run in the Baji family because she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Through her incredible kindness and tenacity, Baji Nui had become the first adult Chifuyu ever respected and trusted.
Yet another thing that makes mother and son so eerily similar is the fact that both of them had so effortlessly broken through his iron walls without even breaking a sweat.
Upstairs, there’s a loud thump and a string of muffled curses. Chifuyu snorts and wonders what Baji broke this time. He listens as his captain’s footsteps hurriedly fade from his room and Chifuyu shrugs to himself. Whatever it was, it’s not his problem.
Turning his attention to his book bag, Chifuyu begins to pull out his textbooks and journals. He hums quietly to himself and flips through one of the journals to finish the last bit of his homework. If he’s going to have a three day weekend, Chifuyu is hellbent on enjoying it to its full extent. So what if half of his weekend will probably be spent helping Baji through his own homework? Chifuyu has grown to enjoy being a tutor for the other boy so he doesn’t really see it as a waste.
Chifuyu jumps in his chair when his phone lets out a shrill ring. Fumbling, he nearly drops the phone a couple of times before finally managing to flip it open.
“Hel-”
“Chifuyu, I think you have my notebook because yours is up here.” Baji tries to sound nonchalant but Chifuyu knows his captain well enough to hear the underlying panic. He isn’t sure why Baji sounds mildly alarmed, he’s never really cared about his journals before. Even if he wanted to study by himself, Chifuyu’s handwriting is leagues better than Baji’s chicken scratch so it shouldn’t be a problem for him. Especially since Chifuyu has long since learned how to decipher Baji’s scrawl so his own studies won’t be interrupted.
Sorting through the small stack of notebooks, he finds an old notebook that’s starting to show wear and tear around the corners. Chifuyu makes a small sound and nods despite Baji not being able to see him right now.
“Yeah, it looks like we must’ve got our notebooks mixed up. Don’t worry Baji, I’ll drop it off tomorrow.”
“No, I need it now.” Baji immediately interjects and he can’t help but frown.
“My mom is still awake, she’ll hear me leave the apartment.” On the other end of the line, Chifuyu hears Baji growl in frustration and the footsteps return above him. He listens as his captain paces in a circle. Whatever calm façade Baji had earlier is totally gone and Chifuyu is starting to feel a little bad for him.
“Is there something you need from it? I can read it out loud to y-”
“No! No don’t even fucking think about opening my damn notebook, capisce?”
Now that gets Chifuyu’s attention. Secrets don’t exist between them and whatever’s in the notebook apparently holds something that even Chifuyu isn’t allowed to know about. Glancing down to the book in his hands, he runs his thumb over the spiraled binding. Chifuyu’s curiosity is screaming at him to open the book but Baji barks out his name before he can do it.
“Chifuyu, I will murder you if you look inside.”
“Okay, okay, I’m not looking. I’ll just give it to you tomorrow morning, okay?” He moves to place the top secret notebook on the shelf next to his door so he won’t forget it in the morning but Baji lets out a weary sigh.
“Nah, I don’t trust you.”
“Then what do you want me to do?”
“I’ll unlock my window for you.” Baji replies like it’s completely normal for someone to scale a building at almost ten at night. Chifuyu stares up at his ceiling, opening and closing his mouth like a fish gasping for breath.
“You have five minutes to get up here.” His captain says before hanging up. Staring down at his flip phone in shock, Chifuyu silently closes his phone and rubs the back of his neck.
A second later, the small display window of his razr lights up with a reminder from Baji that he better start climbing if he knows what’s good for him. With a dejected sigh, Chifuyu pulls on his hoodie and opens his window.
Before clambering out, something makes Chifuyu pause. He stares down at the notebook peeking out from his hoodie pocket. He’s basically risking his life for this tattered book. It’s dark out and if he makes one mistake while climbing, he can end up with a broken bone.
A small devil on his shoulder whispers in his ear that he’s too young to die and that he should at least see what he might die over. Besides, it’s not like Baji will know if it’s just a quick look.
Glancing up at the clock above his desk, he still has four minutes.
Flipping to a random page, he smiles fondly at the familiar and nearly illegible writing.
If I lay here. If I just lay here, would you lay with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we’re told.
Before we get too old, show me a garden that’s bursting into life.
All that I am,
All that I ever was, was here in your perfect eyes.
They’re all I can see.
Chifuyu giggles to himself. Who knew that Baji has a soft spot for Western love songs. No wonder why he was so desperate to hide the contents of his notebook. If the wrong person, namely Mikey or Kazutora because no one else has the nerve to tease the one and only Baji Keisuke, got their hands on this, they’d have blackmail material for ages. He’s about to close it and make his way to the window while pretending that he totally didn’t go against Baji’s command when something catches his eye.
Just below the copied lyrics is a mess of scribbles that takes up almost a fourth of the page. At first glance, it looks like Baji was either doodling or he was dealing with a pen whose ink kept drying out on him during class. Looking closer though, he sees exactly what captured his attention. Nestled between other lines of crossed out words is something that makes Chifuyu’s hands tremble.
Your eyes, green as summer’s rolling hills.
Quickly closing the notebook, Chifuyu’s heartbeat thunders in his ears and he breaks out in a sweat. Why in the world does Baji-?
Something takes root in his stomach and Chifuyu clamps a hand over his mouth to keep himself from saying anything.
Could it be that Baji really is the one behind those hidden poems? A thousand questions race through his mind with blinding speed. He feels equally ecstatic and mortified about seeing those poems.
He feels like he has to check again, just to make sure. Before Chifuyu knows it, he’s frantically thumbing through the pages looking for anything that might cement his guess that Baji really is his suddenly not so secret admirer. Sure enough, he spies a few other heart-achingly familiar poems and some he hasn’t got yet.
“I knew that I couldn’t trust you!” A sudden voice cuts through his silent room. Letting out a yelp, Chifuyu drops the notebook and looks up to see Baji climbing in through his still open window.
“B-Baji! What are you doing in here?!”
Stepping into his room, Baji seems to tower over him despite their almost similar height.
“Why didn’t you just listen to me? Why was this the one damn time you decided to rebel against my orders?” He whispers furiously, ignoring his question. Despite Baji’s roiling anger, he’s still trying to keep his voice down so Chifuyu’s mom doesn’t hear them.
“I-I’m sorry. I was just curious, you’ve never acted like this before and I-”
“Because it’s embarrassing!” Baji hisses and snatches the book from the floor. Chifuyu watches as Baji dusts off the notebook before he rolls it up and shoves it in the pocket of his pajamas.
“What’s embarrassing?” He can’t help but to ask. If looks could kill, Chifuyu would probably be nothing more than smoking remains after the glare Baji gives him.
“Don’t fucking play stupid with me, Chifuyu. I know you were reading it.”
“I don’t think it was embarrassing though.” Chifuyu starts but Baji quietly laughs.
“You’re making it really hard to not just punch you right now, do you know that? It’s embarrassing because it’s stupid.”
“I don’t think so.” After his comment, Baji falls silent and stares at him with wide eyes. His heart is still drumming against his rib cage from sheer nervousness and he wonders how frantically Baji’s heart is beating. If Chifuyu is this nervous, he can only imagine what the other boy is going through right now, standing in the middle of his crush’s room late at night with his secret laid bare like this.
“I don’t think it’s stupid at all.” Chifuyu meekly replies before looking down at the sleeve of the jacket he’s still wearing and he begins to play with the edge of the sleeve to distract himself from his own building nerves. “Actually, it makes me happy. Really happy.” He admits with a soft chuckle.
“I’ve been so scared this whole time about who my secret admirer might be, you know? I was starting to feel really bad because I spend so much time with you and that might hurt their feelings. I… I’ve been feeling so guilty too because I knew, in my heart, the only person I can ever be with is you, Baji.” During his whole speech, Chifuyu had been keeping his eyes carefully trained on the wooden floorboards- too nervous to see how Baji might react.
A pair of socked feet stand just on the edge of his vision and Chifuyu risks an upwards glance., Baji is staring at him with a complicated expression and the apples of his cheeks are dusted a light pink. His own face feels like it’s on fire so he can just guess how flushed he looks right now.
“Say sike right now.” Baji murmurs.
“I can’t say that because then I’d be lying. I like you, Baji. I like you a lot. Like a lot a lot.” Chifuyu presses a hand over his chest and feels how fast his heart is beating. Never in a thousand years did he think that he’d ever confess his feelings to Baji, especially not like this.
Baji’s eyes are almost comedically wide at this point. He takes a step closer towards Chifuyu and they’re nearly standing close enough for Chifuyu to feel Baji’s body warmth. Thickly swallowing, Chifuyu has to look away again lest he says something else that’ll embarrass him even more. He begins to wring his hands together and tries to count to ten to calm himself. Butterflies are fluttering up a storm in his stomach and he’s pretty sure he’s shaking like a leaf.
Slender fingers graze over the back of his hand and Chifuyu snaps his head up to see Baji watching him intently.
Both boys don’t move, almost as if they’re both afraid of ruining the moment that’s settled between them. If Chifuyu thought that his heart couldn’t beat any faster, he’s quickly proved wrong when Baji’s gaze drops down to his lips. Suddenly those earlier butterflies burst into a monsoon of frantic nerves and excitement. His mouth feels too dry and his hands are slick with sweat as they tremble under Baji’s calloused hand.
He’s like a fly entrapped in the silken threads of a spider’s web and he can’t move.
Baji’s mouth twists into such a soft and fond smile that Chifuyu is pretty sure that he’s just mere seconds from melting into a puddle. Knowing that he’s the reason for such a beautiful smile makes him filled with so much warmth and he can’t help but to return the smile.
Without any words exchanged between them, Baji, with a burst of courage, jolts forward with all of the inexperience of a teenager. Chifuyu’s mind is racing a thousand miles per hour, thoughts screaming with joy at the idea of having his first kiss and being able to dedicate that first to Baji.
He leans closer and closer to Chifuyu until the tips of their noses nearly brush against one another. Closing his eyes, he waits for a kiss that doesn’t come. Cracking back open an eye, he sees Baji frozen in place looking uncharacteristically nervous.
Not wanting to let this moment fall to the ticking second hand of his clock, Chifuyu overcomes his own nerves and closes the last few millimeters between them.
Chifuyu had always been fond of reading romance manga and novels. There’s something so pure about watching a love story unfold and evolve to him. It’s often left Chifuyu yearning for a love story of his own and how his own first kiss might go. For the last couple of years, it’s been something that’s been lurking along the edges of his mind.
What is a first kiss, if not for the burst of hundreds of bright fireworks and a singing chorus of cherubs in the background?
Warm and slightly chapped lips are pressed against his own.
There’s no fireworks or singing nor does he feel like his soul is ascending to the heavens. If Chifuyu has to be honest, everything about his first kiss is so horrifically awkward and maybe even terrible in its own sense. Maybe it’s because of how imperfect it is, is what makes it perfect to him and Chifuyu wouldn’t have it any other way.
It feels like everything in his life was leading up to this very moment. Everything about their first kiss just feels so… right. No matter how much shoujo he’s read to count as studying for this exact scenario, Chifuyu has no idea what to do with his hands. They’re pressed between them and when he shifts around to put a hand on Baji’s shoulder, their noses bump awkwardly against the other.
There’s a murmured grumble from Baji and Chifuyu laughs into their chaste kiss. With sudden boldness, Baji deepens the kiss and those far too sharp canines accidentally bite against his lip and his earlier nervousness melts away into pain from the bite.
“Shit, my bad.” Baji begins to pull away, “you good?”
He doesn’t say anything, instead, Chifuyu just pulls Baji back against him and returns the favor. Letting out a curse from the sudden bite, Baji pushes him back and gives him a halfhearted glare. His lips are swollen and Chifuyu doesn’t know if it’s from the kiss or the bite but either way, it gives him a feeling of smugness. Seeing how flustered and out of breath Baji is just feeds into his growing ego that he made Baji like that and no one else.
Even though he finds his back is against a literal wall and Baji is standing directly in front of him with reddened lips and even redder cheeks, Chifuyu still feels smug.
“Feeling all high and mighty, huh?” Baji scoffs, “I’ll make sure you regret that.” He begins to move in again but they both freeze when they hear his mom’s door open.
“Fuck, your mom is gonna kill us if she sees me." Jumping away from Chifuyu, Baji makes a beeline back towards the window. Frowning because of the sudden emptiness between them, Chifuyu follows him so he can shut the window after him. Baji glances over his shoulder with a crooked grin as he swings a leg over the window ledge. Hanging halfway out of the window, he's bathed in silver light from the moon and stars. Chifuyu finds himself speechless. Ethereal. Baji looks positively and breathtakingly ethereal.
“What’re you looking at? You look like your eyes are about to pop out of your skull, ‘Fuyu.” Baji teases and swings his other leg out of his room. Up in the clear night sky, the moon seems to glow as a makeshift halo around Baji. He’s about to scale the wall but Chifuyu rushes forward and his hand grips the back of Baji’s shirt. When the other boy turns to see what he wants, Chifuyu kisses him again despite hearing his mom walking towards his room.
“You’re either gonna kill me from making me lose my grip and make me fall to my death or because your mom is going to skin me alive.” Baji mumbles against Chifuyu’s lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Just like that, Baji climbs up with the liquid grace of a cat and Chifuyu manages to shut the window just seconds before his door swings open.
Even after getting an earful from his mom, Chifuyu’s mood can’t be brought down. He stares up at his darkened ceiling and runs a finger over his lips, giddy for what tomorrow will bring.