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Kokichi's alarm went off at 4:30am. He was up and getting dressed as quietly as he could before the 4:35am snooze could go off. He had work to do.
Each morning, Kokichi had been waging a one-sided war against his roommate Kaito, who seemed to be getting up earlier and earlier as he continued in his astronaut training.
But today Kokichi had the upper hand. As he snuck out of his bedroom, carefully shutting the door behind him, the astronaut was nowhere to be found. A quick glance down the hallway and Kokichi could see neither Kaito's nor their mutual boyfriend Shuichi's bedroom doors had a telltale light beneath them. And so he set to work.
Kokichi turned on a Bluetooth speaker the three boys shared and placed it inconspicuously in the hallway. He set it to play generic white noise, quiet enough not to wake anyone up, but loud enough to mask the sounds of what he was going to do next.
The short boy yawned, pawing sleepily at his stomach as he took stock of their small kitchen. It was a mess. They were three boys, barely adults in the eyes of the law, living away from their families for the first time. Two of them were working full-time and one of them was Kokichi. So dishes and other tasks tended to pile up. Kokichi knew that if anyone was going to take care of it, it should be him. But he'd be damned if he didn't make a game out of it.
He slipped on a pair of rubber gloves and attacked the kitchen in full, quiet, force. He scrubbed plates and bowls, set the pots and pans to soak while he wiped every surface, and cleared out the fridge of all expired food.
Oooo, this milk is almost solid. The things I could do with this… Nope nope, stick to the plan, there's no time.
By the time Kokichi had finally cleared the sink and wiped it down, two full trash bags were sitting behind him. Two embarrassingly ungraceful trips to the dumpster later, and the kitchen was immaculate, better than he’d seen it in weeks. He gave himself a high-five and retired back to his bedroom, scooping up the speaker as he went.
Once inside, Kokichi changed back into his pajamas, shook a small food bowl so more food would dispense, and sat in his desk chair, catching up on his social media and web comics as he listened intently to the rest of the apartment.
Around thirty minutes passed before Kokichi heard the creaking of floor panels coming down the hallway.
Thirty minutes earlier than usual. Guess 4:30 wasn't overshooting. Better luck next time, space man.
Kokichi graciously waited another five minutes before getting back up. Kaito deserved to wake up a little. But only a little.
When Kokichi stepped out of his room for the second time, pajama-clad, he was shuffling like a zombie. He yawned comically loud and rubbed his eye with the back of his hand. Kaito was stuffing books into a backpack in the living room when Kokichi caught his eye.
"Hey Kokichi, what're you doing up this early?" Kaito said before yawning back instinctively.
Kokichi rubbed his eye again, making sure to overact. "Well, what else can I do, with you always making all this racket? Some of us are nocturnal, you know."
Kaito tilted his head as he threw the full backpack over his shoulder. "What? I didn't make a sound this morning. What're ya talking about?"
"Well maybe I was just anticipating another fire alarm going off at the crack of dawn and woke up out of fear."
Kaito sighed, and started scrolling through his phone. "That was one time . I don't even have time to cook anymore." The taller boy grabbed a protein bar from his bag and started eating it in large chunks. "This is my last bar too...are you or Shuichi going grocery shopping today?"
"Oh, I'm sure one of us will. I'll add your gross chocolate bars to my grocery list," Kokichi said, taking out his own phone and scrolling to his notes.
"Protein bars. It's not my fault the chocolate ones are the best. And get some real meat while you're there, yeah? They're increasing our workouts soon, and I gotta be eating well to be ready for it."
"Real...meat…" Kokichi said, as if taking down notes. All he typed into his digital grocery list was
– Protein bars
– Lunchables
Kokichi took a seat at the futon, crossing his legs, still engrossed in his phone. "Before you go, be a dear and wash a few dishes. I’m going to make Shuichi breakfast like a good, dutiful boyfriend, and I'd hate to show you up too much. If you go fast, I'll even give you credit for it!"
Kaito frowned, looking a bit conflicted. "Ugh, I don't have time, Kokichi. I'm going to be late enough as it is." Nevertheless, the astronaut stepped into the kitchen. Kokichi didn't look up from his phone, smirking as much as he could still hide.
"Wha-, it's already spotless in here! Come on man, did you even check first?"
“Oh, is it? Silly me!”
Kaito stuffed his keys and wallet into his pockets. “Shuichi must’ve done them last night. Help him out today, will ya? He’s working really hard these days. I’m kinda worried about him.”
Kokichi frowned a little as he looked up from his phone. “Thanks for that, but I know, Kaito. You’re not the only one paying attention to him.”
Kaito hung his head and scratched at the back of his neck. “Yeah, I know, sorry. I’m just worried, and astronaut training has me so busy, I can’t do much myself. Just pick up my slack for a little bit longer, yeah?”
“Wow, Shuichi has three boyfriends, and I have to do all the work? With Ryoma being in prison and now you being an astronaut, it’s all so inconsiderate. What am I going to do when you go into space, and I have a catatonic Shuichi missing two of his boyfriends? How selfish of you to pursue your dreams like that.”
“Hey, it’s not gonna be like that. You know I-”
“Jokes, Space Man. Jokes. ‘It’s a lie,’ whatever. Get going before you miss your bus,” Kokichi said, shooing Kaito away with his hand.
“Shit, you’re right. Okay, bye,” Kaito said, shoving his phone back into his pocket.
“Buh-bye,” Kokichi waved, his eyes still glued to his phone until he finally heard the door click shut, Kaito on the other side of it.
--
Kokichi had barely finished the webcomic he was reading before he heard another door in the apartment open. Out of the dark from the hallway walked Shuichi. His hair was a mess, some of the static-filled edges sticking up at weird angles. Unlike Kokichi, he was already fully dressed, though the dark circles under his eyes were even more pronounced than normal. Kokichi had seen him pouring over documents late into the previous night, and the more pressing question in his mind was whether Shuichi had changed into his pajamas at all.
Kokichi made sure to intercept Shuichi as he stepped into the light of the main room. “Gooood morning sleepyhead! You’re out of bed awfully early.”
Shuichi rubbed his eyes, adjusting to the increase in brightness. “Yeah, you too babe. What’re you doing up so early? You don’t work today, right?”
"You don't remember? I quit so I could be your personal chauffeur! Now my job is to drive you everywhere you need. Your wish is my driving command!"
Shuichi shook his head and smiled. "You better be joking or I'm under house arrest from now on. I'm not getting in a car with you behind the wheel until you go back and retake the driving test. That was the scariest ride of my life."
Kokichi smiled wide. "You're so silly. I can't ‘ retake’ a driver's test until I take it the first time. And I thought you were studying the law."
"Ah, well if evidence of traffic law loopholes will help Ryoma's appeal, I'll look into it."
"Well I hope, for everyone else’s sake, you take a break from that sometime soon. The wrong boyfriend's getting away with murder while you're all tied up."
Shuichi shook his head, a small grin still on his face. He walked past Kokichi, and scooped a pile of documents into his arms. "Too soon, babe. Red light."
Kokochi pouted, dropping his shoulders and limp arms. "Oh come on, I was going to say 'or is it not soon enough?' after that! Are you telling me you'd rather hear me say something as boring as 'you're working really hard at this, and Ryoma couldn't ask for a better advocate than you' instead of that incredible banter?"
"If it's true, then yes please."
Kokichi sighed and said, as fast as he possibly could, "You'reworkingreallyhardatthisandRyomacouldn'taskforabetteradvocatethanyou. God, green light!"
Shuichi laughed and kissed Kokichi's forehead, before sitting down at the table with his documents in tow.
Kokichi waited a second, shooting a forlorn glance at Shuichi, again hard at work, and the kitchen, still spotless, still immaculate, still completely unnoticed. But he wasn't beaten yet. Kokichi went into the kitchen, grabbing two of their favorite mugs.
"Can I interest you in some coffee, Mr. Dark Circles?" Kokichi called over to his boyfriend.
"Yes please."
Kokichi filled the electric kettle and poured the last few scoops of instant coffee powder into the mugs. He tossed the empty container into the trash, which hit the bottom with a thud.
Shuichi looked over to Kokichi, their eyes meeting briefly over the sink between them. "Are we out of instant coffee?"
"Looks like it, unless you've got some hidden in your pockets for emergencies."
"Like you have candy in yours?"
"Here I am, making a judgment-free zone, and you just tear it down like a heartless monster. Yes, we're out of coffee!"
Shuichi nodded, and began again on the page he was reading. "I'll get some more later then."
Kokichi moaned, full of sarcasm. "No it's fine. I'll add it to my list. Your boyfriend already gave me his: protein and candy protein."
"Did you see him this morning?"
"Nope, just heard him muttering it in his sleep and jotted it down."
"Okay, that's a lie."
"No, it's true! He really only asked for protein and what is basically candy protein."
"Oh, that part I believe. I just think you talked to him already. Was he in a hurry like usual?"
"Yeah, wouldn't even help me make you breakfast."
"Oh, are you going to?"
"Of course! I've prepared imported beans, dried, roasted, and ground into the finest powder, then strained, infusing their-"
"Coffee, got it."
"You know what they say, cook what you know!"
Shuichi broke off again with a chuckle. Kokichi watched as he finished an article he'd read the night before. He'd been collecting and analyzing evidence of foul play in Ryoma's original trial. Now that Shuichi had secured an opportunity for a retrial, preparing this evidence had become an obsession.
Kokichi couldn't blame him. If he was in the same situation, if Shuichi was behind bars, and it was up to Kokichi to get his boyfriend out, he would pull the sun out of the sky. But…
"This is so boooooring. I can't handle a house this quiet. Maybe if there were some eggs sizzling I could hang but this is just tooooooo quiet!" The kettle beeped. Kokichi poured the hot water into their two mugs and stirred.
Shuichi got up, still reading his next document. "Alright, I'll make us breakfast. Thanks for doing all the dishes. That was really sweet of you."
Kokichi froze, and his mug slipped out of his hand and banged around in the empty sink. He was toeing the line between comical and sincere outrage as he said, "that's all I get?” His tone broke Shuichi’s focus, and he finally looked up to see Kokichi pouting. Kokichi began to pace and rant. “I had like, a three-tier plan! Even if you got it– without looking, might I add–you could have paced around some or done the detective mental whiteboard thing or something!"
Shuichi's face said he had not caught on to his mistake yet. "But...but the coffee container hit the bottom of the trash can. And I could see your face over the sink. So the tower of dishes was gone. And Kaito rushed out, so he wouldn't have had time to...to help."
"Well you could have said some of that before you Trap Jammer-ed me! I spent all morning making this mystery kitchen for you, and you undid it in one sentence! Half a sentence!"
"It was two though…"
"Hyperbole, babe!"
"Ah, right. I'm sorry. I didn't really think about why you would have done it this way."
Kokichi handed Shuichi his coffee, still frowning. "You have to read my mind about these things! You should be able to by now!"
Shuichi injected, "Hey, you know I- '' before catching himself and adjusting accordingly. He carried on, "Right, lies. I know I don't have to, but I still could have caught this one. I'm sorry. I've just been really focused on the case.”
Kokichi moved closer and stood on his tippy-toes, until the tips of their noses were touching. "Oh well, I knew I'd get your attention somehow," he said, before giving Shuichi a peck on his nose. His hand slipped down and reached for Shuichi’s, grazing his fingers before snatching the document from him. “So how is the case for breaking Boyfriend Number 3 out of the slammer? Should I start planning the jailbreak, or are you almost there?”
Shuichi set the stove humming and sighed. “It’s coming along. I’ve learned enough to know this isn’t a wild goose chase. Something’s dirty about the judge who sentenced Ryoma. I just have to get enough together to prove it.”
“Well I guess I could always lend you a hand. If you’ve got an evil judge, it takes someone evil to get close to their secrets.”
“Oh yeah? I’d have to call you forth as a witness in court. Could you swear to tell the truth?”
“The whole truth and nothing but? I mean, no, but I won’t tell if you don’t~”
“And have you arrested for perjury? I think I’ll pass on losing another boyfriend to the criminal justice system.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll bust myself out of prison so you don’t have to! Or maybe I could run the city from inside prison! That would teach ‘em not to mess with me!”
“I’d, uh, rather you run the city from our apartment.”
“Aw, you’re so sweet, making yourself an accomplice like that. And they say romance is dead.”
“I guess I’ll have to wait to take more conventional routes once I have that choice.”
“‘If,’ my dear. If you have that choice~ Until then I guess you’ll have to stick to solving my mysteries, clearing Ryoma’s criminal charges, and whatever you and Kaito do.”
“Plenty, but he's not a lot more relaxing.”
“Geez babe, you sure know how to pick ‘em.”
“I do,” Shuichi said with a soft fondness, almost to himself.
The eggs sizzled for a while as the two boys sat in a comfortable silence. Kokichi tried to look through the document in earnest. He wasn’t a chump at this stuff either. But without any context, he couldn’t think of anything to point out. He didn’t like that this was all on Shuichi’s shoulders, but Kokichi helped where he could. That’s what this morning was all about.
Almost on cue, Kokichi heard a sound coming from his bedroom–a muffled scratching. Goddamnit, not yet, he thought. His eyes darted to Shuichi, obliviously plating a scramble for the two of them.
Kokichi spoke up suddenly. “So! How do you think Tennis Boy is doing? It’s been a little while since your last visit, huh?”
Shuichi joined Kokichi at the table with their plates of steaming eggs. “You would know better than me,” he said. “I’m not officially Ryoma’s defense attorney, so it wouldn’t look good if I was meeting with him alone.”
“Oooooh, that’s why you sent me last time. Pretty good thinking, my dear.”
Shuichi nodded, but his shoulders slumped. Kokichi knew this mannerism well by now. Having three boyfriends didn’t make it any easier for Shuichi to be away from one of them for such an uncertain amount of time. Shuichi had clearly been clinging to his letters from and visits with Ryoma in his weaker moments. Now even that wasn't an option. But Kokichi wasn’t too worried. He was never caught without a plan.
“Well I think you need to remember who you’re doing this for. Picture this, I’ll visit Ryoma again and wear a webcam. Then you can see your boyfriend while playing nice for the cameras!”
Shuichi was dismissive. “Thanks babe, but I think I’ll pass.”
“Well then I’ll break him out of prison! Yeah! I smuggle him here, you two make out for a few, and I put him right back! They’ll never even miss him!”
“Babe, stop. I’m sorry, this just…isn’t making me feel better. Red light.”
Kokichi’s grin fizzled out. That hurt his pride a little. It was one thing for Shuichi to ask for a reprieve when Kokichi was picking on him. He loved to give his boyfriend a hard time. But it stung a bit when Kokichi was really trying to cheer him up. But Kokichi put that aside for now. Today was going to go right. He wasn’t beaten yet.
With a straight face and an even tone, Kokichi said, “I just want to take some of this off your plate. I know how important this is to you, but you can’t keep this up on your own. These all-nighters are showing a lot more than you’d like to believe, and you’re getting sloppy. You’re not going to win if you don’t learn to lean on me for things.” Kokichi scooped up his empty plate and began to wash it in the sink. Shuichi said nothing, either because he knew Kokichi was right, or because this was Kokichi’s longest ‘Red light’ ever, and he dared not interrupt. And so they sat in silence until Kokichi finished washing and loading his plate. “We all want him out of there, you know. Green light.”
When Kokichi sat back down, he put his feet up on the table and crossed them. “Besides, Mopey, think of how much cheaper rent’s going to be once he gets out! I assume he’s going to be staying with us, right?"
“Y-yeah. That’s what I’m hoping anyway.”
“Now there’s an idea that perked you up. I swear, you are a tough egg to crack, Shuichi Saihara.”
“Ah, so that’s your plan this morning? Trying to cheer me up?”
“I don’t know babe, you tell me.”
“Well you cleaned the kitchen and tried to get a laugh out of me, so…”
“Wow babe, I am so disappointed in you today. First you were too fast and now, too slow.”
“Too slow? Oh wait, you said ‘three-tier plan’ earlier. So there’s something else?”
“Ding Ding Ding! Tell him what he’s won!”
“Cold…eggs?”
Kokichi gave his best game show buzzer impression before scurrying back into his bedroom. He returned, carrying something long and gray. "That's right, it's a brand new, certified pre-owned Ryoma Hoshi cat!”
Shuichi fell out of his chair.
After a moment of shock, he scrambled back to his feet. “Wait, hold on, you adopted a cat? Without telling me?!”
“Of course not, babe! Would I do something like that?”
“Yes.”
“Okay wow, love the vote of confidence. Come on babe, I wouldn’t do something permanent without asking you first! I just thought, you know, he could remind you of Ryoma until you can see the real thing again.”
Kokichi held out the cat to Shuichi, its lanky body stretching down toward the floor. Shuichi reluctantly reached out, and held the cat in his arms. He was already purring, and his soft fur warmed Shuichi through. Before Kokichi knew it, a few tears were already forming in Shuichi’s eyes. Shuichi held the cat up to his face and cradled it, while Kokichi leaned back against the wall, basking in his victory.
“It’s a Russian Blue, in case you were wondering.”
Shuichi sniffled. “Ryoma’s favorite.”
“Is it? Well that sure is convenient.”
“You definitely knew that already,” Shuichi said, as he put the cat down. “You know, Ryoma had a cat just like him. He told me he gave it away to a friend before everything happened with his family.”
“So does this mean you’re going to keep him then?”
“...Yeah. I’d like that.” Shuichi walked over and embraced Kokichi, squeezing him closer for a moment. “Thank you.”
Shuichi kissed the top of Kokichi’s head, and Kokichi turned his head into Shuichi’s chest and kissed him back, just below the center of his collarbones.
As they broke away from each other, Kokichi squatted down to pet their new cat. “I knew you’d like him, but I am relieved you wanna keep him. It would have been such a pain if I’d had to give him back.”
“Do we need to fill out adoption papers or something? What should we call him?”
“Well he’s already got a name. Kalpin. Cute, right?”
“Wait, that’s the name of Ryoma’s cat. Where did you find him?”
“Right where Ryoma told me he’d be, obviously!”
“So this IS Ryoma’s family cat?!”
“Surprise! Aren’t I the best boyfriend ever?”
“But Ryoma’s friend is taking care of his cat!”
“Was taking care of him. Now it’s your turn! I figured you could take care of him until he gets out, and then we can surprise Ryoma with him when he moves in!”
“And did you run that by Ryoma’s friend too?”
Shit.
Kokichi said nothing.
Shuichi collapsed into his seat again, nursing his forehead. “Kokichi. Babe.”
“Yes dearest?”
“Did you steal Ryoma’s cat from his high school tennis captain so you could make me feel better? Red light.”
“Are you still going to love me if I say yes?”
Shuichi sighed. “Yes.”
“Yeah, a little bit. Green light.”
“I’ll give them a phone call.”
“Yeaaaaah, you probably should.”
Kalpin meowed.