Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Days seem sometimes as if they'll never end
Sun digs its heels to taunt you
But after sunlit days, one thing stays the same
Rises the moon

Maul remembered plains of red ground, a maroon sky, and a scarlet moon. It was always red.

He remembered a broken and small thing, with stomachs growling at every minute and fear encasing their hearts. His older sister, whose skin was the same red as his and his eyes the shade of honey copper, A sickly brother, whose weakened body fails him and whose lungs are left gasping for breath that may not come, A baby brother, the biggest of his age, who adored his older siblings, even with the little time he knew he had to live. He remembered the ribbon threaded through his horns and the music with dancing done in alleys and in the darkest hours of the night. He remembered hiding in the thick overhanging trees, digging his heels into the black wood to reach the beautiful magenta birds. Maul remembered the tang of salt and the juicy meat, the tasteless fruit that could only be eaten piece by piece, and the heat on his cheeks from the fire that burned as hot as the spice in his mouth.

Maul missed the planet drowned in red, the broken family, the ribbons threaded through his horns, the dancing, and the music. However, Maul missed most of all the light in his siblings. Now he can only box it in-chained under a blanket of darkness, hoping desperately one day, if only for a minute or two, he can let the chains go. That Maul can let the light soothe him, burn him and his blackened sick skin, that the whispered words from The Force of Soon, safe, comfort, family, will come true, even if it’s in his last breath, his last heartbeat. Maul wants more than he should, wants what his master would never give him-Maul never dares tell another soul. No, not after the boy with lilac skin and tentacles.

Maul sees horrors and does horrible things. Maul hurts those undeserving of it and scrubs the blood off his hands until they are raw and aching. Maul cries silently, tears streaking down his cheeks and over his growing black markings, listening to the whispers of the Force murmuring at the edge of his mind. He feels the connection with his siblings weaken and wane every day and screams. One day, he did something terrible. He was sure of it, but the praise was oh so confusing. He painted the academy in red, with no survivors. Master was pleased, but Maul was confused, and soon Maul was being sent on more bloody missions and tests.

Maul was scared to sleep, to see lifeless bodies—but Maul was afraid of the awareness being awake brought, the white noise, and his night vision. His mind ran wild with terror. Maul hears voices leering, laughing through broken necks and blood-filled mouths.

Maul begs to be free, cries silently (he learned from jagged scars to always be silent), and wills the force to free him. The Force only hushes him, lulls him to sleep, and shows him visions of a planet filled with sentients of all kinds dressed in creamy robes. Young running through blades of grass, unnumbered men in armour with identical faces marked with laugh lines. And he sleeps, fuzzy and warm inside, with hope sparking in his chest and light coaxing the dark blanket to rest.

Days fade into a watercolour blur
Memories swim and haunt you
But look into the lake, shimmering like smoke
Rises the moon

Chapter Text

Oh-oh, close your weary eyes
I promise you that soon the autumn comes
To darken fading summer skies
Breathe, breathe, breathe

A smell filled the quaint house’s yard; a thick musk of meat and spice slowly cooking. Open fire with a large pot simmering above, four small bodies crouched watching the flames lick the metal pot. 

A grumble filled the small clearing, prompting three heads to turn towards the second youngest. Three pairs of gold eyes watched as Feral ducked his head and pet his churning stomach. The only girl sighed and scurried over to the Nightbrother, wrapping her arms around his bony shoulders.

"Dinner would be cooked soon," the second oldest, Maul, spoke out loud, caressing his youngest sibling’s horns. Savage shivered roughly and pressed himself further into Maul’s side, chasing warmth. 

Feral leaned into Brutal’s side, her long hair curtaining around his feverish body. "Savage, can you get the bowls?" Red dirt shifted as dusty yellow feet grounded themselves. Heaving himself up and away from Maul’s warm presence, Savage toed his way through the dark red grass, stepping onto the back porch with feather-light steps and slipping inside. Soon after, Savage reappeared, clutching four mosaic bowls in his hands, taking care not to scrape the precious stone with his sharp nails.

Huffing in a way only a seven-year-old can, Maul took the bowls from the six-year-old Nightbrother in a tight grip. Scoping the soup, odd chunks of rancor meat swirl in the tangy liquid.

"Savage, be careful, it’s hot. Brutal, here’s Feral's. Will you be eating now or later? "

Maul watched his sister closely, her scarlet skin and growing black markings tight in worry, but not for her, that much he could tell. Her black-tipped fingers and sharp claws brushed against his hand, holding the makeshift scoop. Relinquishing himself to the Nightsister’s protectiveness, Maul tumbled over and watched his sister with warped attention. 

Feral crawled into his oldest brother's arms, his small body pressing as close as possible.

"Feral, please eat." Coaxing Feral to eat was a difficult thing.

Maul thought to himself that Feral should have been named stubborn instead, given how, admittedly, Feral refused to eat till Maul had his fill.

"Feral, listen to your ed lori. Eat your food and Maul will eat his. " Brutal spoke in that tone, and that meant no argument was going to sway her.

Savage had moved to join Maul in convincing Feral to eat by simply looking at Feral with his starry eyes. Maul watched as Feral's resolve crumbled in the face of Savage's baby face and shiny pools of copper. 

When Maul moved to bring the dishes to the bank of the stream, when he returned from cleaning the bowl, he noticed a lull had fallen upon the yard. Savage and Feral had curled up beside each other, whispering words in Dathomiri and pointing to the stars seen through the waning dark clouds. Brutal rose from her crouch, hovering over the recently extinguished flame, soft clanks occasionally filling the quiet.

"Lori, could you move them inside?" her voice not stuttering as she levelled a hard look at the boys, whose mouths clicked shut from any further arguing.

The Zabraks filed into the stone house, their footsteps quiet and their whistling breaths humming. The stone floor was cold against Maul’s warmth, the cold seeping into his body through his bare feet, through his skin and muscle into his veins, where it froze like sharp glaciers that pierced the rest of him with unforgiving coldness. Maul shivered, a trill trailing up his spine. Savage and Feral waddled into their room, sinking into their cots. 

Maul stayed behind with Brutal to collect Feral’s medicine from the low cabinet, holding a glass of water that tipped precariously with each step. Once Feral had taken his medicine with only minimal complaints of taste and a whimper of cramps, Maul walked to the kitchen and placed the glass on the rack after running it underwater. Brutal came from behind and looped her arm around his, dragging him into the bedroom.

"Come on, Lori, it's time to sleep." Both siblings heaved their heavy bodies into the room, where Savage and Feral were already sleeping, wrapped in thin blankets.

Brutal fell into sleep the second her head hit the rough pillow. Maul turned to the small window, watching rosy clouds float along the dark red sky dotted with flickering stars. Spots begin filling Maul’s vision before the warmth of the cot and the whistling snores of his siblings lull him to sleep.

Days pull you down just like a sinking ship
Floating is getting harder
But tread the water, child, and know that meanwhile
Rises the moon

Chapter Text

Days pull you up just like a daffodil

Uprooted from its garden

They'll tell you what you owe, but know even so

Rises the moon

Black hair drawn back tight, Brutal tied off the braid with three violet ribbons that twisted and weaved through the thick strands. Quick footsteps drew her attention before both Savage and Feral burst through the door. The twins wore a matching pair of short-sleeved red shirts with honey yellow on the hems and collars, a light orange obi under thin rancor belts, and blank forearm guards wrapped tight with strings. Simple black puffy pants were wrapped in brown bandages, extending over the calf and ankle as well as over the curve of their feet.

Both boys were struggling to entwine the ribbons through their horns, evident by the inches of hanging ribbon and small tears in the fabric from their horns. Motioning for them to enter, Brutal reached a clawed hand out for Feral, who took it and allowed himself to be guided to the floor in front of her. 

“Come, boys. Don't try to force the ribbon through your horns; the fabric is delicate and it'll tear.” sighing Brutal unravelled the ribbons from Feral’s short horns. 

The cloth came out easily, with little resistance past widening a few holes. 

Brutal was in her best robes. Dressed in puffy mustard yellow pants, wrapped mid calf to ankle with darker bandages, and a loose long-sleeved undershirt of the same colour, with the same bandages wrapping from just below her elbows to her wrists. She wore knee-length creamy light orange vyi atêfa over her undershirt, with no sleeves and a collar that was lined with the undershirt collar, hemmed with a sunburnt orange, a dark red obi, and a thin rancor belt. 

It wasn’t much, but it was the best they could do behind their mother’s back. Any more and she’d know, and when she learns, she’ll be mean.

Brutal quickly threaded the ribbon through Feral’s stubby horns, twisting and wrapping the long fabric around a few times. Patting down Feral’s clothes and brushing away non-existent dust, Feral rose and stepped away to look at his sister’s work. 

Savage took his place in front of Brutal, the ribbons more or less intact, with fewer holes that were gaping with small lines of loose string. Just as she finished weaving the ends of the ribbon into a braid, Maul walked into the small room. He was dressed in the same robes as his brothers, with a dark red shirt that was hemmed and collared in light orange, a honey yellow obi, and a thin rancor hide belt. His forearms were covered with brown leather trimmed with steel guards and tied with strong string. Bandages wrapped around his mid-calf to his ankle and over the curve of his foot covered his black pants.

As soon as he saw his brother's ribbon was torn, he huffed a soft chuckle and said, “That's too bad.”

“How did you two manage to damage the ribbon that badly before coming to Brutal?” 

Sighing, Maul moved to Feral and adjusted the collar around his neck. “When you pull it on, make sure to avoid letting the collar fall too low around your neck.”

Feral hummed, eyes watching the sun slowly sink behind the mountains, “we should go now if we don’t want to miss out on anything interesting.” 

Brutal sighed through her nose, then smiled in a way that had her lips pressing into sharp canines. “If we go now, we can still make it. Feral, you don't need anything else”

“No... maybe just my inhaler,” Feral said, half-heartedly huffing. 

Maul laughed quietly, “of course, but you're holding it. I’m not keeping it in my pocket. It’s too heavy” Feral slipped out of the room with a huff and a glare at Maul. 

Savage stood once Brutal patted his shoulder and moved to the mirror to smile blindingly at his sister's handiwork. Turning to his sister, with larger arms wrapped around her shoulders, Brutal laughed at Savage’s wide smile and hugged back, only to be squeezed tightly. 

“Savage, I can’t breathe,” she wheezed. “Honestly, Savage, watch your strength.” 

Maul dug an elbow into Savage’s ribs, watching the large one wiggly and surrendered to his sister, who leaned over and took exaggerated breaths.

Feral re-entered the room, a small pouch now attached to his sash belt. “Come on, we don’t have long,” startled the Zabraks in the room, all of whom moved to the door, walking out poking and prodding at each others’ ribs. 

—————

The four Zabraks walked to open fields a ways away north of the silent village. They were far enough away from the Nightsisters Temple to avoid drawing their attention, but they didn't care because they were too preoccupied with their own blood moon festival.

The fields themselves were pretty lush, with open, dusty planes of endless red dirt and trees with long trunks and twisting branches covered in thick orange leaves. Small bodies were sitting on the sturdier branches, calloused hands reaching for the best-shaped leaves to be burned later when the moon was at its peak. 

Brutal and Maul were arguing about who made the best Tahafah taoha; both had been coming to Kenivar Azza Neknivar Aristina for two years, and the fresh awe had worn off by now, but the wonderment at seeing so many Nightbrothers in one place, happily smiling while eating seemingly never-ending food, remained. Feral was carefully watching the stars just above the approaching skyline, little fire mites that danced their way to join the stars in the sky.

Already, Savage could hear sounds: unnatural sounds that weren't made by small critters hiding in the bushes or the sway of trees in the wind; laughter that was almost too soft to hear; and music that was growing stronger as the wind grew stronger.When he and his siblings got closer, passing the scattered trees and through the bushes acting like a barrier, he could make out figures dancing around bonfires, ribbons tied delicately around horns, and clothes in thousands of shades of red, orange, and yellow. 

Ever calm in the storm, Brother Dread stood to the side of the festival. Watching over the younger Nightbrothers who swung on branches and ran through the dispersed crowd with sticks with strings on fire on the ends. Savage made a beeline for Brother Dread, patting Maul’s shoulder and running off. 

“Brother Dread!” Said Zabrak turned from where he was watching three brothers mimicking the older Zabraks in their fighting.

A honey-yellow obi wrapped tightly around his waist, and a sun-bleached red cloak hung loosely over his left arm and under his right arm, decorated with simple details of the moon and sun, whirls of wind, and dots of stars. Simple black puffy pants wrapped in a brown bandage that covered his mid calf to his ankle and over the curve of his foot could be seen just below the hem of his robes, as could all the other Zabraks at the festival.

“H'sletret dan! How lovely to see you, little one.” Brother Dread’s face was old, his once dark black markings now greying. 

The bold streaks from his jaw that swept towards his lips that rose to cup his eyes now blurred into his dust-coloured skin. Despite his older age, he was still capable of putting anyone who dared to challenge him on their ass.

“Have we missed anything? We tried to be here earlier, but you know, Feral and I aren’t very good at the Jojetya etdasdeya and then Feral had to find his inhaler, and we all had to sneak away from—you know who.” Savage rambled happily. 

Brother Dread didn’t cut him off like others did. Brother Dread listened to everyone. He was like taelt sent from the moon itself. 

“Well, not that I’m aware of. The elders have just begun their tournament if you’d like to watch. Nobody blames you for taking the time to repair the jojetya. Poor Feral and his illnesses, amire res neknivar fro'tlesu kolefa dati het I'shar h'netar.” From behind him, Vex popped up, all swishing orange robes and rancor hide armour.

“The Opress children have to be the sneakiest children I know, able to slip through you know who’s hands every year,” the thick lines of his marks scrunched up, rectangular shapes becoming those of ripples on water’s surface. 

“I still don’t know why you all bother to censor her name; we’re too far for her to hear us. Besides, she’s as dead to the world as a corpse,” ever kind Maul spoke boldly, not one to shy away from things he viewed as useless. 

Censoring her name is one of them.

“You'd better remember the brother we lost to her and her little followers,” Vex said with a quelling glare. “It was a terrible fate they had. Do not tarnish their name by spitting on their deaths.”

Huffing Maul spoke again, “I’m not tarnishing their name, but avoiding something as simple as her name would only cause more fear. After all, fear of a name only increases the fear of the thing itself.”

Snorting in disbelief, Vex turned to his brother and said, “You hear this? Maul has gotten philosophical on us.” 

Vex walked away, shaking his head. The loose ribbons weaved through his horn, bouncing and curling around the odd beads. 

Shaking his head, Brother Dread smiled, “I was just about to collect some willing h'sletret letinfavtś to come and find a few flowers for the S'sifr. Would you care to join?” 

By then, Maul had wandered off, probably to further pester Vex. 

Savage realised he had still not replied, and he nodded with a blinding smile. “Of course, I’d love to help. I’ll just have to ask Brutal first.” 

If Brother Dread twitched, Savage didn't give a second thought to busy looking through the crowd of people to find the only Nightsister. 

—————

Brutal was enjoying herself, sitting on the dusty ground watching the older zabraks compete against each other. Sitting beside her, Feral watched with longing in his eyes, not able to even walk for long without losing his breath. 

A particularly nasty strike to one of the Nightbrothers' shoulders that made him bite down a cry had Feral turning and covering his eyes. 

Savage walked up, almost so mesmerised by the two fighting that he passed his siblings. 

“Savage! Are you going somewhere?” Feral lifted his head at his brother's name. 

“I was looking for you. Brother Dread wanted some of us to help him find some flowers for the S'sifr. Can I help him? Please?”

Brutal looked down at Feral, who badly hid his own desire to, and Savage, staring at her with starry eyes and a wide grin. “Alright, but stay close to Brother Dread and bring your brother too, please.”

Savage’s already impossible wide grin grew, sharp teeth glittering in the light of the various flames lit around the clearing. Holding a hand to Feral, who took it gratefully and heaved himself up, Savage walked towards Brother Dread, surrounded by a collection of small Zabrak. Feral turned and waved shyly at Brutal before darting off to follow Savage. 

“You’re all alone now, hm?” Brutal looked up from her sitting position on one of the scattered cushions. 

Maul smirked down at her before plopping himself on a cushion beside her. Staring at the fighters, both siblings slowly curled into one another. 

“I want to fight like them one day, protect you all and scare mother and the rest away.” The words were hushed. All the Nightbrothers only ever whispered such things—better be safe than sorry. 

Least they end up like the rest, dragged away cruelly by Nightsisters who only cackled and smiled meanly. They are never seen again, and if they are, they are all wrong. 

“You’ll have to work hard, Maul, and grow up to be very scary,” Brutal laughed, mirth shining in her caramel eyes.

The sun was sinking below the far off horizon line as Maul and Brutal sat on the cushions, talking and laughing together, watching the older Zabraks squabble on the mats like male rancors in heat. 

—————

Feral walked back with Savage at his side, carrying half-full baskets of little flowers. According to Brother Dread, the flowers represent our relationship with Dathomir, the ribbons the sky, the red our family, the orange our sun, and the yellow our moon. We weave, Jojetya etdasdeya and S'sifr, the ribbons and flowers through our horns to give them the only thing that’s ours and wear red, orange, and yellow to proudly show our love for each other and the beings that give us life. 

Feral was pretty sure Savage wiped a tear from his eye, though if anyone asked Feral, he would say no. Maybe Feral felt his vision blur up a little, but that was for him to know and only him. 

As Feral got closer to the camp, passing through hanging branches, he saw both Maul and Brutal sitting on the cushions in front of one of the battle mats, talking and playing fighting together. 

Savage walked off to the side, taking Feral’s basket with him and handing it to Brother Dread. Feral wandered around, drifting from the other Zabraks dancing in the fields of grass, feet hitting the ground in time with the instruments, to the little cookout led by Bite, one of the best cooks in the village. 

Feral was half way to getting some food for himself and his siblings (he just knew none of them had eaten yet) when a horn was blown. Everyone began moving towards the clearing. Food was put onto plates and covered, fights were called truces, music stopped, and the ones in the fields ran to their families. Feral hurried to Brutal, who was gesturing wildly for him to come. 

He rushed over quickly, breath leaving his lungs just as quickly. Inhaling deeply, Feral smiled at his loraš worried look and took out his inhaler. Her question, “Are you okay?” went unsaid. Though they had all long since learnt how to talk silently (Mother was known for her 'headaches'), she nodded slightly—a small tip of the head—and turned to Savage, who was hanging onto Maul’s arm. 

—————

The Zabraks collected in the red fields, ferns sticking to their pants. They all circled around five separate Zabraks, dressed in long flowing robes similar to Brother Dread — whose brother Vex was at the centre, long ribbons of red held in tight grips.

Music began to play. Trash, Brute, Wild, Fatal on fiddle and violins twirling in their spots, before the triplets, Claw, Slam and Bash joined in, with Fatal and Smash following behind quickly. All the while the four dancers had partnered off and twirled around one another, hands out in front and swirling the ribbons in beauty arches. Vex danced around, high kicks that turned to backbends then jumping in the air at the height of the ribbon's arc in tune with the music. 

The dance continued for a while, ending with a final jump of Vex and the ribbon dancers in pairs kicking whilst turning the ribbons. 

Applause erupted from the intensely watching crowd. Vex puffed hot breaths and sucked in lungfuls of the cold air of the fields, the smell of Dathomir strong. A grin broke out on his face, stepping away from the centre of the circle to allow Brother Dread to take centre.  

“Come close now, h'sletret letinfavtś. And I’ll tell you a story. A story of space, a story of two species meeting and battling each other for decades, a story of how love created peace.”

All the youngest collected in bundles around Brother Dread, entranced by his soft words. 

“A millennium ago, when male Zabraks had hair and did not have such bold markings, they set off to the sky. Guided by their moon and sun, they travelled space, learning all they could, some fell in love with the worlds they went to, others were too full of love to merely stay and give it to only one.”

Brother Dread motioned with his hands for some of the younger Zabraks, whose hands clutched the handles of wicker baskets tightly. "Now we will twine flowers along with your ribbons in your horns to show our thanks to them for working hard to give us life and to honour those fallen past or present." 

Baskets full of lilac flowers, the petals curled delicately, speckled with the honey yellow of its nectar. Twining the flowers into the horns and ribbons was a fairly quick task and soon the little ones, Savage, Maul, Feral and Brutal included, were running around laughing delightedly and complimenting each other’s decorations. 

The Opress children slipped away to Bite, grabbing small amounts of cooked rancor meat and licking the juices that trailed down the hands. 

—————

The rest of the night had been a blur of dancing till their body ached and their heads swarmed from following fleeting ribbons. All the Nightbrothers had been smiling till their cheeks hurt and laughing till their chest constricted. 

Maul and his linare walked silently, it was coordinated that Nightbrothers returned from youngest to oldest, and in short bouts to lessen the suspicion. His feet tingled with each step, from running on the uneven grass of the fields and bumpy ground of the clearing, but he didn’t mind — tonight was the best kenivar azza neknivar aristina he’d even had (he’d only been twice before but regardless).

Creeping up along the edge of the river, dipping their feet to clean off all the dust and slinking in the house through the back door was simple. Peeling away dust and drift covered robes stuck with a light sheen of sweat was nicer. Slipping under the water of the shower, turned low to not make a sound, and pulling on lilac clothes that were discoloured and fraying at the hems (a far cry from the almost untouched aristina robes). Getting his h'sletret loriś to brush their teeth was a chore, so tired and droopy Maul was reminded of that of a flower that had gone too long without water. Savage and Feral were asleep by the time Maul had brushed his teeth, picked the flowers, unwoven the ribbons and cleaned his horns. 

Brutal sat, Savage’s head in her lap (mindful of his sharpening horns) plucking out the purple flowers and untwisting the ribbons, she had brought a basket in to drop the decorative pieces in to hide away from mother’s watchful eyes, cleaning the horns as she went. Maul joined her, lifting Feral’s head with deft fingers. Quick to pull flowers out of the curling ribbons and unfurl the silky fabric and drop them on the basket beside his feet, Feral was always particular about his horns and their cleanliness, so Maul took the time to clean the horns of all the dust in the little cracks. 

The ed linrosaś worked in silence, content to listen to the water in the stream outside the window and the sounds of small animals in the long grass. Soon the job was done, Brutal took the basket she has placed by their feet and sorted through the little decorations, wrapping the ribbons in tightly around her hands then hiding them in the closet under the floorboard and putting the flowers in the small fireplace, now filled with ambers but would be burning throughout the night to keep the cold away — or a least until they were in so deep a sleep that the bite of the cold would not bother them, curled up in their blankets. 

Maul had taken to tucking Savage and Feral in to their separate beds, mother did not like weakness, needing each other was one such weakness (Maul though it to be stupid, loving your linare was not weakness, she only thought that because she no one would ever love her). Both had whined at the loss of their twin but had quickly clung to the little plush gibbit birenflit that was hidden in the thin mattresses. 

Brutal pulled her body to her bed, which was head to head with Maul’s.

“I hope you plan to stay true to your words, and chase them away. I don’t know how many more nights we can go, hiding our true selves from them till we implode”, she whispered, tongue heavy as stone. 

“I will do whatever it takes to grow strong and free us, them — all of us.” 

The promise was a big one to keep, but it lit a fire in Brutal’s chest, which grew and grew under her breast till her body felt as light as air, but-

“Be careful, you will be no better than them if you throw all caution to the wind, stay true to yourself.” Brutal looked up at the flaking ceiling, counting the cracks and letting her eyes burn the twists and turns of the lines into her memory until her eyes left like tar and sleep washed over her. 

Maul lied in bed, exhaustion lingering in his body, a pleasant ache settled in his bones and smiled. Maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but someday it will be better. Something nudged his mind and just told him it would be. The earlier happiness melted away to blissful dreams of endless fields of green grass, concrete dome building and a towering building with five spires, soft instruments and children's laughter. Maul slept peacefully that night, unknown to him his linare had the same vision. 

The Force hummed warmly in the little broken room that night. 

You'll be visited by sleep 

I promise you that soon the autumn comes

To steal away each dream you keep

Breathe, breathe, breathe