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Loki sighed contentedly as he placed Frida into her cot. She looked so peaceful and snug bundled up in her covers in the warm glow of the bedroom. They had hung up fairy lights along the walls, the soft light echoing across the room. It was beautiful.
It had been four months since Frida was born and it still surprised Loki that this beautiful child was his. It felt unreal, like a happy dream he could wake up from at any moment. Mobius would tell him he was be morose again, so he kept these thoughts to himself.
He couldn’t believe how much Frida had grown. Every day she appeared to get stronger, showing her strength in how hard her small fingers gripped everything and anything. Everything she did delighted Mobius. Loki would frequently find him swinging her around, delighting in how she giggled with joy as was raised into the air. In those moments, Loki would lean against the wall, biting his nails with worry.
Most days Loki was worrying. He worried that Frida wasn’t getting enough milk from his breast; that he wasn’t fun enough to entertain her; but most of all her worried that his body wasn’t returning to normal. His stomach was still swollen. His breasts, well, they would remain as long as he was breast feeding. He missed his slim figure, felt himself grimace when Mobius wrapped his arms around his waist.
He loved Mobius, and he knew Mobius loved him. Mobius was always smiling these days. He had taken to being a father like a duck to water. It came so easily to him.
When Loki mentioned his doubts, in the dark of night when he couldn’t sleep, desperately listening to Frida breathing as he tried to remain lying in the bed, Mobius had held space for him. He had told him, over and over, that Loki had the hardest part of the job. Loki had carried Frida for nine months, had given birth to her, and fed her every day. He told Loki how beautiful he was and that it was Mobius’ job to care for him.
Loki let himself sink into Mobius’ embrace, felt himself take a deep breath. It would take a while for him to calm down enough to sleep. Mobius just kept on holding him, soothing him with soft whispers.
Eventually, Loki did fall asleep. Mobius smiled at his beautiful lover, enjoying how the soft glow lit up the shadows across his face.
----
In a month’s time, Frida would turn one and Mobius had been working hard to make the perfect room for her. Loki was resistant, wanting to keep Frida in their room for longer, but Mobius insisted on setting the room up.
“It’s a birthday present, Loki. Frida’s gonna love it, and she can’t stay in our room forever. You need to let her have her own space.”
“She’s still a baby, Mobius. She doesn’t need a room to herself.” Loki crossed his arms; clearly upset they were even having this conversation.
“What about us? Don’t we need space to ourselves?” He turned his head towards Loki, grinning and quirking his eyebrow.
Loki just blushed back at him, a little shy. Becoming a mother seemed to have affected him more than Mobius thought it would. It had affected both of them. Sure, they had still been amorous with each other but when they were in bed Mobius knew Loki’s eyes would drift over to Frida’s crib.
Loki was looking lost, standing there leaning against the wall just trying to breath. Instantly, Mobius wrapped his arms around him.
“I’m sorry, Loki. I know this is painful, but Frida is her own person and it’s healthy for her to have her own room. Look, I’ve hung up more fairy lights so it’s nice and welcoming.”
Loki sniffed on Mobius’ shoulder, his head moving as he looked around the room. It was taking shape and Loki did love how ethereal it looked. The warm amber glow of the lights and the green paint made Loki happy beyond words. The problem was that it’s just so far away from his bed.
“What if something happens in the middle of the night?” Loki gasped out; his voice choked with emotion.
Mobius could feel a wetness on his neck and he knew what that meant. He pulled back to look at his lover and saw tears streaming down his face. Mobius clutched his face with his hands, sweeping his thumbs across Loki’s cheeks.
“We don’t need to do anything you don’t want to do. This room will still be here for Frida whenever she and you are ready. We can get two cots – one for our bedroom and one for in here. We can also get a baby monitor, that way you can always hear her.”
Loki tried to smile, but instead more tears just slipped down his cheeks. When he did speak, his voice was raspy, almost guttural.
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
----
It took a few more months until Loki felt ready to let Frida move into her own room. There were standing at the door hand in hand as they watched Frida play in her cot, seemingly content to chew on her teddy’s ear while her eyes looked at the warm glow of the lights.
“Come on.” Mobius whispered in his ear and tried to gently coax Loki back into the living room, if Loki would allow them.
“Will she be alright?” Loki’s brow was furrowed, his eyes full of worry. Mobius just wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him close.
“She will be alright. Come on, let’s go sit down and relax. We can check on her in a bit.” They had come so far in the last few months, but Mobius wasn’t sure if Loki could take this final step.
In response, Loki let out a short sigh as he pulled himself together. He turned around in Mobius’ arms to face him.
“Mobius, kiss me,” he instructed, biting his bottom lip in a coy smile. Mobius smiled. Loki knew exactly how to get him under his thumb, and Mobius let him do it.
Leaning in, their lips brushed together gently at first. Loki sighed happily, closing his eyes and letting Mobius take the lead. He melted into the eagerness of Mobius’ lips as their kiss deepened. His hands started unbuttoning Mobius’ shirt, pulling it up to feel Mobius’ skin underneath.
That’s when Mobius broke the kiss.
“Let’s take this to the bedroom.” He smiled as he grabbed Loki’s hand, pulling him out of Frida’s room, and Loki finally followed willingly.