Chapter Text
“Your soulmate will be the stranger you recognize.” — r.h. Sin
There are stories of people meeting their soulmates, with bright eyes and bold hearts. Gazing up at them as their heart screams “it's you, the person my heart has been waiting for.” you sit there, a chance you have met them before. Whether it was in passing on a busy road or it was in another lifetime where the two of you had been connected. You sit in wonder, allowing yourself to be in a full moment of love. The love is instant, it's bold and beautiful. But sometimes your soulmate gets off on the wrong foot. A look of a wide eyed gaze looking up at you. It's a game of tug of war. Where it's back and forth over and over again. Because here is where you sit. All amazed at all that has happened. You yearn for the familiarity of a soulmate to come, but at the same time you wonder if it's worth it.
If the jump is worth it if you know you're going to fall.
And fall they did.
At age five he jumps off the swing set of his elementary school playground. He ends up scratching up his knees and face-planting. Getting a bloody lip and a bruise swelling under his eyes. At age seven he goes to his mom in tears, a scar on his leg in gold that hadn't been there before. His mom sits him down. “Mijo.” she begins to say “your soulmate has an injury… this is hers.” his heart swells in awe at the thought he might have the kind of love his abuela had with his abuelo until he passed. The two would do anything for each other, and he even at a young age believed that someday he would find someone who could let him hang the stars for them to shine.
When he’s nine he crashes while skateboarding. Adding it to a list he has in his notebook so he’s able to identify his own injuries when he finally meets someone who might be his person. Despite his injuries growing, whoever his soulmate is doesn’t seem to have too many. He thinks they’re either prone to staying inside, or they aren’t as prone to injuries as others seem to be around him. He wants to find them, know them and hold onto them. But he’s young. And the possibility of them living in the same area as he does is low. “Please mijo, don't go out looking for whoever they are. Let them come to you.” his father speaks one day as young Luke is sitting in front of his father, getting his hand wrapped after landing on it playing baseball.
Luke throws his head back with a groan. “But Papi ! She’s going to think I'm an idiot for getting hurt so much.” he whines. But his father’s reassuring hand on his shoulder makes him realize. Things will be okay. Someday.
Even if it takes a while to get there
Penelope is seven when she’s on the playground and sees her knees get scratches with gold markings around them. She sighs as she sits there, regretting the decision of wearing a skirt that day. The slight summer breeze is comfortable but at the same time she’s going to have to explain a lot to her parents. Penelope is nine when she falls off a bike, and gets a scar lining up her leg. She makes a mental note that one day she needs to apologize to whoever is her soulmate. Because sure as hell, she's caused them some worry. Penelope’s mom sits her down and asks her if she is ready to discuss soulmates yet. She shakes her head, blonde hair that forms around her head like a halo bouncing as she says yes.
“Well sweetheart. You might have someone come into your life, but they might not be your soulmate. It might take you a few times. But I promise one day you’ll meet them.” This is the train of thought that echoes through her head. It took her mom a moment to find hers, a few wrong choices, a few men stepping in with Penelope thinking, believing it was her mom’s partner. But each time they left as soon as they came. Until she met her current husband, and now she had two little brothers.
She has been so used to it just being her mom and her for years. Now though, she has a family.
A soft place for her to land.
Life goes on, dates with people who aren't their soulmates. Moments stopped where they brought others into their beds. Not knowing who was out there, wondering if they’d ever find their soulmates. The person who is supposed to light their heart ablaze. Luke had always been reckless. A disastrous tornado of come and go. Tanned skin and brown hair, with brown eyes that gleam forward at the possibility of everything. His father had always told him he could do anything, so he tried to do everything. Years spent in the army, where people had asked him if he ever wondered what life would have been like if he stayed in the Bronx. He shrugged, not being able to picture that kind of thing. The Bronx might have been home, but it was never where he felt he belonged.
and as he was there life went on.
life always does.
Boot camp was hell, it was the thing that pushed him, broke him to his limit, it made him mad. But at the same time it made him driven. He had always been a hotheaded young man, why not push that to good use. Right outside of the army though he got taken to the task force. Asking if he wanted a place with them. “You could meet new people.” they offered and he nodded along. Knowing it was where he wanted to be.
But the thing that keeps him going is every injury, every scar and bruise he wonders why he does it, he has his soulmate traced in his heart, like pins on a map or an X-ray showing each crack, each broken piece. So he’s there. Making his way through a field of bright lights and dark alley ways of the minds of those criminals who shouldn't be doing what they do. Some of these people took lives, took someone's person away from them... he knows this. And he works hard to prove it to these people he knows their pattern. As he drags them out, he knows they have wives who will have to explain to their kids why their daddy isn't coming home.
It's on a case where he feels his blood go cold...
He's exiting a shower when he looks at his chest, a thick silver scar that ends gold a moment later appears in the center of his chest. He knew whatever had happened … it was bad and he can’t explain this. He can't explain the feelings that go through his mind. He thinks of the possibilities. But each possibility is something he would have done. He asks his mother over email what it means when a scar goes from silver to gold. Her reply is frantic, something about this never happening, but when she asked her spiritual advisor, it was what happened when your soulmate almost lost their life. He once again feels his body go cold. He can't imagine losing his soulmate now, not at a time when he hasn’t even had the chance to meet them. He spends the next few days on routine poking the scar. Trying his best to figure out how he could send a signal to his soulmate. Find out who they are. But that isn’t something he can do. Not right now.
Penelope ends up in a life of crime for a little bit. Getting caught at the height of her career and getting told she can go to prison… or join the BAU. She chooses the latter, sitting in the middle of an office where she can't get hurt. It's paradise. They don't touch her and she doesn't touch them. Making up stories of what happened to these victims and when it happened. She sits at the computer trying to make sense of whatever comes across the screen, with everything that flickers. She taps away answering calls.
It's her safe place.
Until it isn’t.
Truthfully it isn’t that she thinks this guy is her soulmate. But he’s nice enough to distract her from the thoughts that she won’t ever meet whoever it is. He has a nice smile and he’s convincing. Makes her believe she isn’t a fool. But truthfully she is a fool. And that might be the worst part of all. Penelope feels her blood go cold. She doesn’t know how long she had been laying there. Doesn’t know if she wants to know how long she has. The cement ground is freezing as she hears someone scream “I think she’s bleeding out.” And this is what she thinks about for days on end. She thinks about the moment where she’s stuck sitting in the hospital bed. And she thinks about it all.
The look of fear that terrorizes Derek’s features.
The gun that shoots a bullet into her chest and needs to be stitched. An Ugly reminder of what had happened. She feels tainted, feels violated and broken. Years go on though, and she sits at the computer, helping the victims that she will help protect. Thinking of all that goes into this job. She does this because she loves it. she does this because its where she will always want to be.
Even if there are somethings she cant speak about.
Which is why she attends therapy for a few years, discussing everything from the good to the bad, the therapist helps her acknowledge some of the trauma she had been hiding under bright dresses and gorgeous accessories. The trauma she had become so used to.
She hopes her soulmate understands that this job, even though it isn't ideal, it is the life she has now. And she also hopes her soulmate isn't a therapist...
Derek and Spencer adopt a baby a few years later and it takes her a moment to realize maybe it’s for the best. Derek decides to be a stay at home dad with their kid, they don’t need to worry about both parents going into potential dangers. So he gets a replacement. Luke Alvez. He’s smart, funny and Penelope wants to hate him. Wants to be pissed off that she lost her best friend. While she sees him every other week. It still feels different. Knowing that she won’t see him everyday.
She meets Luke on the elevator and the first thing she sees is the gold marks that line his arms. The one that wraps right under one of his biceps. She wants to laugh because this dude’s soulmate really is a clutz. But she refrains from doing so as she steps out of the elevator. It’s not that she has issues with him. She truthfully doesn’t. But does she want him to stay out of her radar unless they’re working on a case together. She’s polite enough. Until the queen of ice comment happens. It strikes her and she realizes she needs to do better.
Needs to be better
She wonders about his soulmate. Are they okay with the kind of life he leads? With the chaos and corruption that comes with this job. There’s never a possibility that things will stay how they are… never a possibility they’ll come home.
And she thinks about that often. She’s seen a lot and based on his past, she knows he’s seen a lot too. and as she knows well. There are some things you can't speak about.
Luke isn’t entirely sure what brings him to this job. But he’s here. And something about Penelope makes him wonder. Looking up into space as he’s on cases. Thinking about how if he’s on one side of the country, she’s on the other. And they’re seeing the same stars.
This job isn’t exactly one he thought about doing. But someone has to, so he does it. He thinks about the things some of those who have been here longer have seen. He thinks about the Christmas parties and the things they’ve all missed and wonders if it’s this hard. Why do they stay?
Because they love it.
Because someone has to do it.
It's a Tuesday in July when he realizes something, The moments in the car where he saw the markings on her leg and on her arms. The times that she’s covered places. Trying not to pay attention to it. He looks at his chest which at this moment is covered by his shirt.
“Garcia’s been shot?” He asked, as he’s looking around the room. H's trying to catch his breath and he's trying to work past whatever's in his head. But he doesn't tell anyone. Even Penelope about it for another few days. They get back to Quantico , and if he was honest. He had been practicing what to say for the last three days. "Hi, I'm Luke and I think I'm your soulmate?" sounded dumb, and if he just jumped in with "hey Chica. I'm your soulmate. Wanna go get coffee?" sounded casual. Nothing he said would sound right. So once again he mentally slapped himself. Knowing he would have to work hard to not sound dumb.
He was about to enter into the office of the tech goddess but instead he sat outside her office. Hand barely above the closed door.
"Luke, what are you doing outside my office?" he heard the voice from behind him.
"I was just looking... for a stapler." he offered
"okay...? weirdo." she mumbled the last part under her breath. Entering her office and coming out with a light pink one.
He grabbed it with a smile. But paused "Actually, Chica. I'm not being honest..." he sighed. "Here's the truth. I think we might be soulmates. When I found out you had been shot... around the time that happened. I got this mark on my chest... with a gold lining. So this leads me to believe you. are. my. soulmate..." he announced the last part slowly. She rose a brow but her expression turned soft. She slowly whispered an "oh..." looking at him. "so do you maybe want to get a coffee?" he asked. And she nodded. His heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest.
She took a moment to respond. "I would love to."