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The 16th of December 1485. The day that Catalina de Aragon was born into this world.
536 years later Catalina woke up for her first birthday in the 21st century. It was a normal day - well, as normal as she could consider a world that was five centuries more modern than her own.
Her eight thirty alarm woke her up as usual, and she led watching the birds nesting in the tree outside her window through the crack in her curtains. The house was silent, for once, which was a blessing in Catalina's eyes. She was aware she was usually the one making most of the noise, but she was also extremely aware that she was provoked on a consistent basis, and would argue that point to the others if needed.
Her eyes did narrow slightly over the fact that she couldn't hear the source of all her headaches - a silent Boleyn was not something to celebrate, it was something to fear. The woman's mouth was louder than the rest of the queens combined, except hers, maybe, and she had an annoying habit of waking up at sunrise from time to time so they had to listen to her all day long.
She waited tensely for something to happen, but the longer that nothing did, the more she started to feel stupid. And she didn't overly like feeling stupid all too much, so she decided to get out of bed and start her day.
She quickly pulled on some clothes then opened her door and stuck her head out into the hall. Everyone's doors were open, which was strange in itself as only the first three queens were ever awake at such an early hour. The upstairs of the house was still ringing with silence, but Catalina caught the sound of a giggle downstairs, followed by loud shushing.
She scowled. They may not know it was her birthday, but she wasn't going to let any of them ruin it by causing trouble all day. Driven by this fear, she surged forward and marched down the stairs.
The wood under the carpets creaked harshly as she started her descent and she smiled slightly as she heard the voices cut off into a tense silence. She swung the door to the lounge open.
"What the hell are- oh..." The Queens were stood around the room, staring her comically like deers caught in headlights. Jane and Anna were balancing on chairs, frozen while hanging a large yellow 'Happy Birthday' banner above the archway to the kitchen, and Kat was stood below them with her back to Catalina, also not moving.
Cathy popped out from a maze of a dozen or so helium balloons floating in the corner of the room. She threw her hands in the air and Kat, still with her back to Lina, violently copied her, almost hitting Anna.
"...Happy birthday?"
Catalina stared back at her goddaughter then looked around the room again. This time she saw a pile of presents and cards, set up neatly on the table with tiny confetti 'happy birthday' pieces spread around them.
Her heart clenched in her chest at the sight and she tried to hold back tears.
"Lina are you okay?"
Jane slowly got down from her chair and walked towards her. As she went to put a concerned hand on her arm, Lina pulled her into hug, burying her face in her hair and blindly reaching an arm out to grab Cathy and pull her in with an 'oof!' as well.
"Aww Aragon hugs!" Anna cooed from across the room, and then her and Kat were launching themselves into the embrace. The unexpected force made Lina's knees buckle and they all fell backwards onto the sofa with a shriek.
They led, giggling in a pile, until Catalina sobered slightly and said a quiet; “Thank you everyone." The others exchanged glances and Kat got up and took Lina’s hands to pull her to her feet.
"Of course, it's not everyday you turn 536!" The first queen rolled her eyes.
"Okay, we've made breakfast, we can eat and then you can open you presents after?" Cathy then backtracked quickly. "Or the other way round, whatever works for you, it's your day."
"Breakfast would be lovely mija."
It wasn't until she was sat, peacefully eating the ridiculous stack of pancakes Jane had deposited in front of her, that she realised that she was peacefully having breakfast, and she hadn't seen a certain annoying gremlin all morning.
Oh, so that was why she was in such a good mood. Jane saw her glancing around and, in true Jane fashion, instantly knew what was on her mind.
"Anne wasn't awake so we decided to leave her be. We've told her she's got to stay out of your way today as well so, don't worry, no more water balloons."
Any compassion she could have felt towards the green queen being left out was gone in an instant with the last statement. Good. Her bedroom was still wet from that certain monstrosity of an afternoon two days before. Why Cathy kept ordering the other girl whatever she asked for on Amazon Catalina had no idea, but water balloons were now strictly forbidden in the house.
She simply nodded in response to Jane's explanation and took a sip of tea. The kitchen clock ticked peacefully in the quiet of the room, the only sound coming from the pages of Cathy's book turning as she read at inhuman speeds.
Maybe she would have a nice birthday after all.
After she finished her breakfast (she hadn't eaten the entire pancake stack, but Anna had been more than eager to help her out with the last three), they made their way into the lounge where Kat eagerly grabbed a box from the pile of presents with a card stuck to it and thrust it in Catalinas direction.
"Happy birthday, this is from me."
Kat had bought her the hat and scarf set that she had, to be fair, very obviously sent wistful and hinting glances towards the entire time they had been at the market a month before.
She hadn't thought any one had noticed between Anne getting into an arguement with a street vendor when she had noticed him trying to swindle Jane out of money, and Anna trying to "curb stomp" him. Catalina wasnt sure what curb stomping was, nor why Anna had yelled it with an excited glint in her eyes, but she was glad Cathy had intervened nevertheless.
She thanked Kat and pulled the hat onto her head, recieving finger guns from Cathy who had become somewhat noitorious for donning beanies during the colder winter months. The final queen then reached down the side of the sofa - where she kept everything, apparently - and pulled out a book shaped parcel with a smile. Lina's mouth dropped open.
"No..."
"Oh Cathy why did you buy her a book for - I told you she isnt you-"
Kat was cut off by an uncharacteristic squeal as Lina opened the present.
"Cathy how did you- this only came out yesterday! Did you get yourself one?" Cathy shrugged.
"There was only one in the shop. I can wait."
Kat, who looked a lot like the 'pikachu' picture that Anne insisted on sending to the groupchat when ever she was shocked, leaned over to Anna.
"Does that mean she likes it?"
"Yeah dude, they sit nerding together about that book series all the time."
"Oh. I just assumed they were always talking about the bible or something."
"This is most certainly not the bible." Cathy shook her head vehemently.
"Thank you Mija, this is very kind... and I promise I'll let you read it when I've finished." Catalina pretended she didn't see the way Cathy's face lit up in relief.
"Okay, my turn." Cathy flew on to the sofa with a squeak as Anna pushed her out of the way and presented Lina with a gold wrapped parcel. She sent her a wink as she took the present.
"Something to numb the pain of living with Bo." Catalina swore she heard a muffled 'Hey!' from upstairs.
She opened the present and found a shots drinking game and a lot - a lot - of gin and mixers. Catalina smiled.
"Oi, the two of us are still going to the pub for drinks later though, you're not fobbing me off and drinking at home."
"Oh of course." Lina grinned. Her and Anna's 'alcoholic aunt trips', as Kat dubbed them, were one of her favourite things in this new world. It was nice to spend some time away from the chaotic house, and Anna was always great company.
"You two had better not come back pissed again, I'm not dealing with you two drunk twice in one week." Jane grumbled, handing Catalina her present. Anna and her exchanged a glance and Anna smirked.
"Nah, Lina wanted to watch the Strictly re-run with Kat tonight, we won't drink too much while we're out. I can't say the same for when we get home though..."
Jane shot Anna a disapproving look as Lina tore open the wrapping paper, revealing a beautiful golden necklace with the letter A intertwined into a lion on the pendant. Jane was watching her face nervously as she stared down at the necklace.
"I'm sorry if you don't like it - I just saw it in the shop and you're like a lion you know, so... majestic and, well I uh you know it just made me think of you - if you don't like it I can return it of course, I-"
Lina placed her hands on her shoulders (well, placed a hand on one shoulder and balanced the necklace box on top of the other). "
"Jane. I love it. Thank you." Janes face relaxed instantly.
"Oh. Good." Lina pulled the necklace around her neck and motioned for Cathy, who was closest behind her, to help her clasp it. She looked at herself in the mirror above the mantlepiece with a smile, then took Janes hand and squeezed it.
"Thank you everyone. This is just... I love you all." The queens smiled back at her.
"We love you too-o!" Kat sang back to her, earning a signature eye roll.
"Okay, time for another Aragon hug." Anna announced, then tackled her onto the sofa.
"Dogpile!"
*
After extracting herself from the pile of queens, Catalina decided to spend the rest of her morning gardening, and was pleasantly surprised to find yet another present in the form of a plant pot of brand new violas.
She was quick to kneel down and start planting them, and about an hour into the task Cathy and Jane appeared and asked if they could help. Catalina didn't hesitate to smile and motion for them to grab her spare trowels.
The three of them worked peacefully for another hour or so, the occasional question to Lina and the sound of digging being the only sound to breach the silence around them.
At one o’clock, Anna yelled that she had made lunch. The three of them washed up in the downstairs bathroom, then caught the tail end of Anne disappearing back upstairs with her food as they entered the kitchen. Anna passed them each a sandwich, winking and saying they need to save space for the takeaway later but they can’t drink on an empty stomach.
“Wow, even you have drinking standards, who would have thought.” Kat had commented drily before following her cousin upstairs, no doubt to sit and watch Netflix together or… Catalina wasn’t sure what the two of them got up to, but she had been on the receiving end of a worrying amount of nightmares about Anne’s influence on the younger girl as of late.
Anna sat impatiently next to her as she ate her sandwich, going as far as to smacking her hands on the table as a rhythm for her last few bites. The second she had finished, a coat was shoved into her arms and her plate vanished from in front of her, seemingly all in one movement. Anna grabbed her by the wrist.
“Okay bye everyone! Me and Lina are going out!”
“Oh joy.” Cathy remarked from the sofa, not looking up from her phone. Jane appeared from the utility room.
“You’re going now? Isn’t it a bit early?” Anna stared at her.
“Jane you literally started drinking at 10am last week because Anne and Kat dyed the bathroom pink.” Jane turned as white as she hoped the sink would become after scrubbing it (spoiler; it stayed pretty pink) at Anna’s statement.
“Fine, go, drink, have fun, Lina. Be responsible, Anna.”
“It wounds me that you feel the need to say that every time I leave the house.”
“Yes, well, do you blame me Anna?”
“…No comment.”
Anna quickly shut the door behind them.
The pub they frequented was their local spoons, The Lion’s Head - “Fitting”, Anna remarked, pointing at her necklace.
The other queen had discovered it not long after they started going out to see the new world around them, and Lina had made a habit of joining her after being dragged there one day in their earlier days living together, back when Anne was still extra sharp and untrusting.
Catalina loved Anne really - not that she’d ever admit that, and she found herself appreciating that fact a lot more when looking back on that night. As annoying as she could be in present day, Anne was no way near as awful to live with as she was in their first few weeks.
Well, none of them had been exactly roomie of the year - 500 years of being dead tended to do that to a person. Catalina just appreciated hyperactive, intelligent and… loving Anne a LOT more than she did the confused and prickly 16th century remnant Anne that she had entered this new world with.
Anna had dragged her out of the house after the two of them found themselves their fourth argument of the day, and that evening Catalina had found a close friend in the fourth queen.
The two of them entered the pub and sat down at their regular table. There weren’t many people there, a couple of old couples having lunch together, but the other regulars weren’t yet in - probably because they didn’t tend to frequent the pub at 2pm on a Thursday afternoon.
The two of them started off with some rum and cokes and played a game of pool that Anna won. Catalina had thrown the cue down, frustrated.
“How am I supposed to win against that?”
“Against what?”
The gold queen angrily threw her hands in the air.
“Your arms are like… like tree trunks! Beautiful, yes, but impossible! Injusta!”
Anna chose to simply smirk. “You think my arms are beautiful? Gym doesn’t seem like such a ‘useless investment’ now does it?”
Catalina frowned, taking a sip through the straw of her drink, which was now her newly found favourite tequila and pomegranate winter cocktail.
“No, I stand by that, you have legs - walk, you don’t need to pay to go to some building and walk in the same place for an hour, you could literally just walk there and back.”
“Walking doesn’t impact the arms, Aragon.”
“Go chop some wood or something Cleves.” The two women stared at each other for a moment and burst out laughing.
“Okay,” Anna managed after about a minute, wiping a tear from her eye. “Maybe we have drank too much because what the fuck was that? Go chop some wood?”
Lina shook her head continuously, struggling to breathe.
“I don’t know I- god, maybe we need to go home, Jane’s going to have a fit over the fact we even tiptoed the line from tipsy to drunk. And we need dinner… and watching strictly - very important.”
“Ugh I guess so - Kat’s been going on about watching that stupid show with you all week, why didn’t you watch it Sunday?”
“I was still recovering from that… Dick Astley man.”
Anna wheezed and promptly fell to the floor with laughter.
The two of them returned home half an hour later, Anna’s eyes bloodshot enough from laughter that Jane had gasped and asked if they had been ‘partaking in smoking wacky baccy’ while they were out, which had led to the fourth queen, who already had the giggles from Catalina’s earlier comment, to burst into tears. With laughter, they realised after an alarming few seconds.
After Lina assured Jane that they, in fact, had not been doing drugs, the two women had pushed Anna into an arm chair and left her there to sort herself out as they started on ordering takeaway.
A New Italian restaurant had opened in the city centre and Lina was desperate to try it but they hadn’t been able to get hold of a table. But guess what had popped up on Uber Eats the week before?
The two of them added their food to the order, then Jane went upstairs to see what the other girls wanted as Lina asked Anna. It had taken about three minutes of the two of them staring at each other across the room and trying not to laugh before she even managed to get her question out, but she got her answer eventually and fed it back to Jane, who sent the order off.
With nothing better to do for the one hundred and five - “very precise” - minutes it would take to arrive, the three of them sat down and turned the TV on, then proceeded to yell out answers to The Chase, which was the first show to come on. Cathy appeared after about twenty minutes as if she had been summoned by the sound of general knowledge, and by the time the food arrived Kat was also sat yelling the answer to a Bob Ross question at the screen.
Jane and Lina graciously decided to allow the others to eat on the sofa for once, and they sat down with plates balanced precariously on pillows set on their laps as they eyed the other three queens doing the same nervously.
Anne appeared to get her food, and Lina was surprised to find herself offering her to stay and watch with them. Anne had turned to Jane immediately, and Catalina had an inkling Anne hadn’t simply been ‘asleep’ that morning. Jane shrugged and Anne took that as enough invitation to drop down between Kat and Cathy, ignoring Catalinas worried yell to be careful with her food on the furniture.
“Okay, are we ready?” Kat had got Strictly up on BBC iplayer and was looking around at them all impatiently.
“I’ve been avoiding spoilers for this all week.”
At the others confirmation, she clicked it on.
As the opening title started, Catalina smiled. She hadn’t wanted a big do for her birthday - being 536 years old and all, and this had simply been… well, perfect. As she looked around at the rest of the women in the room, she was incredibly grateful.
Anne cleared her throat.
“Oh yeah, Lina, happy birthday… I’ve got you a little…” She reached down the side of the sofa (how much room did they have down the side of that sofa?) and pulled out two neatly wrapped gifts, sellotaped together. Catalina took them in surprise, and slight suspicion.
“Thank you…”
She opened the first one up and smiled as she saw a box of her favourite chocolates.
“Thank you, Anne.” She said with more conviction. Maybe she wasn’t that bad after all.
“Open the other one!” Anne replied with a grin. Catalina looked down at it nervously, and even Kat looked away from the TV to watch.
She opened the parcel and was met with a T-shirt. A T-shirt with her and Anne’s faces on it.
Her own face was one of anger - she had been yelling at the girl about something when she had appeared and put her arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a selfie, a toothy grin on her face.
And then she had decided to put it on a T-Shirt.
Maybe no day was 100% perfect.
Sometimes murder was just something you had to have on your schedule.