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JULY

“It’s fucking freezing in here,” Louis mumbled, a blast of cold air slapping against him the moment a set assistant pulled the door open to the soundstage.

“Sorry,” she said sheepishly, and Louis groaned inwardly that his voice had managed to carry. “It’s because of the costuming,” she explained, ushering him through a mass of cameras and lights. “Christmas sweaters and all that, you know?”

“Makes sense.” Louis smiled apologetically. Of course, the short sleeve t-shirt and basketball shorts he’d pulled on before his eight o’clock call time had also made perfect sense when he had checked the July weather forecast that morning. He held himself back from sharing that fact, though. Word traveled quickly on film sets, he knew, and he was determined not to be labeled as the complainer. The pessimist. The difficult-to-work-with actor. He might not be on set for his dream role, but he was professional enough to tackle this new challenge head-on. Or at least to grin and bear it over the next four weeks.

“It would be a great reintroduction,” Zayn had promised Louis after he’d landed the part in early June. “Get you reacclimated to all things film production, you know?”

In yet another strange shift as Louis dipped his toe back into the acting pool, it was Zayn now who was trying to talk him into accepting a role. They had met as kids through Stuart Malik: Zayn’s uncle, Louis’ agent. And despite Zayn’s teenaged-proclamations that he had no intention of going into show business, his uncle had taken him under his wing. Now Zayn was gradually taking over his clients as Stuart eased into retirement, Louis naturally being one of them.

“But it sounds so cheesy,” Louis had whined. “Like, cheesier than cheesy.”

“Nah,” Zayn said. “It will be fun. Who doesn’t love Christmas?”

“Zayn. You don’t even celebrate Christmas.”

“Meh,” Zayn had said, shrugging him off. “The money’s not bad, Lou. Think of all the children you could help…”

The charity card. His own friend had played the charity card, reminding Louis of his vow to donate his salary from his first film back to one of his favorite children’s organizations. 

So that was how Louis Tomlinson, acclaimed child actor turned semi-retired charitable thirty-something, found himself standing in the middle of a sub-zero soundstage decorated as the world’s most cliche Christmas bakery in the middle of fucking July. 

“Louis!”

He turned at the sound of his name to find Harry Styles rushing his way, a wide and dimpled smile overtaking his face. Harry had clearly already hit up wardrobe, the picture of warmth in a red fairisle sweater and plaid scarf, his denim jeans tucked into snow boots. He got the assignment.  

Harry Styles was the veritable king of the HeartStamp channel. Louis had done his Wikipedia research, and this would mark Harry’s fifth consecutive year starring in a HeartStamp holiday film. They had read together at Louis’ audition, Louis trying out for the part of Sam while Harry had already been cast as Forrest.

It was actually a big deal, Zayn had reminded him, to be chosen to co-star in the first HeartStamp film featuring a love story between two male leads. HeartStamp was a historically conservative channel, but with the hiring of their new executive director two years prior, they were finally starting to turn the tide and offer some more inclusive programming. Harry’s leading lady in last year's film, Christmas Cookie Conundrum, had been the first star of color in a HeartStamp movie. From what Louis had heard so far in the casting and hiring process, Harry himself had been a big force behind the campaign to feature a queer love story this year. Aside from the fact that Harry seemed to be settled into the most saccharine film career imaginable, Louis did have a modicum of respect for the guy.

“Hi there,” Louis said as Harry got closer, trying to hide his surprise when Harry immediately wrapped him into a hug. “This is quite the production.”

“Isn’t it?” Harry agreed, dramatically sweeping his arm as he circled around the soundstage. In addition to the bakery, Louis could make out the beginnings of a holiday-themed shop and a cozy-looking sitting area, the fake fireplace already crackling. “We’re in perpetual Christmas mode around here.”

“It’s crazy,” Louis said. “I was sweating on my way over. Chugged an iced coffee and everything.”

“And now it’s fifty-five degrees in here and you’re wondering what the hell you signed up for?” Harry said, smiling as he innocently looked him up and down.

“Clearly I’m the new guy.” Louis chuckled, and Harry’s returning laugh gave his sarcastic remark more credit than it deserved.

“First rule of HeartStamp Christmas in July filming? Get your costume on first. I’ll take you to wardrobe.”

A cheesy Christmas sweater suddenly sounded more than enticing. “Lead on,” Louis said, his sandals flapping against the cold concrete as Harry expertly wove through the bustle of a working set. Louis smiled to himself. While his extremities may have been frostbitten, he couldn’t help but savor the excited warmth simmering in his belly. It felt good to be back on a film set. Cheesy Christmas movie or not, this wasn’t going to be so bad.

--

This is so bad!!

Louis typed the words out quickly, before shoving his phone back into the pocket of his black trenchcoat.

Or… Sam’s black trenchcoat. Sam, his character who apparently wore outerwear fit for a movie villain. His murderer coat was paired with a turtleneck sweater. And fucking heeled boots. 

The wardrobe stylist had jutted her lower lip out at him sympathetically as Louis had struggled to pull the boots on under his black dress pants. “Sorry,” she’d said. “Trick for the camera. Harry’s got a few inches on you.”

“Don’t remember a stipulation around wearing heels being in the contract,” Louis muttered, scratching mercilessly at his neck once he’d fought the boot zipper into submission. “Or being covered in wool up to my eyeballs.”

The stylist had mumbled an excuse to leave, and Louis sighed. That made two people he’d complained to in his first hour on set. Don’t be the difficult one, he repeated to himself, willing it to be his mantra for the next however-many days. He’d never been characterized as hard to work with when he was in his prime. But after being exposed to bitter cold, then forced into the world’s least comfortable clothing (two of his biggest pet peeves), playing it cool for a less-than-desired role was turning out to be harder than he’d expected.

He reached for his phone as it pinged, pushing past the leather black gloves tucked into the trenchcoat pockets.

What’s wrong, boo?

I’m dressed like gay Lord Voldemort. I’m wearing a turtleneck. And heels… save me

Sounds sexy :x Send pics

Louis rolled his eyes before typing out a reply.

Uncle Stu never would have harassed one of his clients, you know

Zayn’s reply was immediate.

You love me. Call me if something legitimately bad happens

“Yeah yeah,” Louis said aloud, just as a new assistant approached out of nowhere, eyeing him curiously. 

Super. 

She ushered him back onto the set, then stopped at the door posing as the entry to the bakery, gesturing for him to stand near it. “Harry’ll be out in a minute,” she said before hustling away. 

A moment’s solitude was hard to come by on a movie set, so Louis took advantage of the quiet to run through the lines in his head. He was a quick study any time a script was placed into his eager hands. His method was to get the gist of the lines as written, then allow the scene to unfold as it would, adding his own improvised touches to help it feel natural. 

He jumped in surprise as he heard a thump behind him, then realized it was the sound of the clunky heels of the boots he’d been forced into wearing. He hadn’t even noticed that he’d started bouncing on his toes. It was something his mom called a dead giveaway, an easy tell that he was feeling nervous. But was he truly uneasy, though?

He was shooting a ridiculous made-for-TV movie, likely to be viewed by women over the age of fifty with college-aged children and cats. He had no grand notion that this role was anything more. Regardless, over fifteen years had passed since he had stepped foot on a film set, and that was something. 

He closed his eyes, allowing himself to take a deep breath into his diaphragm as his acting coach had taught him decades before. 

“Louis?”

Louis couldn’t help but jump yet again as he opened his eyes to find Harry mere inches from his face, smiling brightly.

“Hi,” Louis said, “uh, sorry. I was just…”

“Totally get it. I meditate too.”

Louis felt his nose scrunch before he could help it. “I don’t, uh, meditate,” he said. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I was just… ah... breathing.” He was pretty sure he sounded like a complete fool, but Harry seemed unaffected. 

“Breathing,” Harry replied, and where Louis’ response would have been pure sarcasm, Harry’s felt unironically genuine. “Nice.”

“Louis! Hello!”

Louis turned, grateful for a reprieve from his stalled-out conversation with Harry. He recognized Liam Payne instantly from his auditions, the director with the kind eyes and warm smile. “Good to see you, man,” Louis said, holding out his hand.

“Super excited to have you aboard for this one,” Liam said, his handshake firm. “Harry hasn’t stopped talking about it since we booked you.”

“Is that so?” Louis said. He looked over to Harry, who was still sporting his never-wavering smile.

“Oh, absolutely. You were one of my acting inspirations back in the day, you know? God, I loved Dominion.” 

“Back in the day,” Louis said. “You’re making me sound ancient.”

Harry laughed at that. “Hardly. Think you’ve just got a couple of years on me.”

“So Louis,” Liam said, putting an arm around his shoulders. HeartStamp was known for its warm and cozy vibe, and clearly the cast and crew were a tactile bunch. “Just wanted to fill you in a bit on my directorial vibe, yeah? I’m pretty go-with-the-flow. We’ll rehearse each scene a time or two for blocking, but I’m all for things feeling natural. And I’m always open to feedback from my actors. That sound good to you? Anything I need to know before we get started?”

“Actually, yeah,” Louis answered, deciding to take Liam up on his offer as he tugged at the thick fabric on the neck of his sweater. “This shirt is awful. I swear it’s cutting off the blood flow to my brain. Any chance…” He trailed off as he caught Liam’s eyes go wide.

“Um...” Harry spoke up from his side. “I picked your outfit.”

“Oh.” Louis said. Great. “It’s not awful, as in… um. It’s clearly fashionable. It just… it’s… itchy? Wool, you know.”

“Totally,” Liam said. “Fashionable and itchy. That should be our new slogan, huh?” He elbowed Harry playfully, clearly trying to smooth things over. Harry’s toothy grin had molded into something more subdued now, his eyes cast down as he huffed out a humorless laugh for Liam’s benefit. 

And that’s three, Louis thought to himself. Three times he’d already said the wrong thing, before they’d even shot the first millisecond of a scene. What was his problem? 

“I’m sure I’ll get used to it in no time,” Louis tried. He had half a mind to request that Liam stick his character on a bicycle for the first scene, as he continued his attempt to obviously backpedal from insulting Harry’s taste in clothing. 

Liam gave him a cajoling pat on the back. “You will. Plenty of wool over these next few weeks.”

“Can’t wait.”

--

“Cut!”

Louis looked up, surprised. He hadn’t been on a film set where a fellow actor had called cut before. In his experience, that was a task reserved for directors alone. But Harry had said the magic word, and the action had stopped. The crew looked toward Harry expectantly, and Liam jogged from his spot by the cinematographer and over toward the painted plywood bakery counter. 

“Yeah, H?” Liam said.

Harry cleared his throat, adjusted the chef hat on his head, and shifted his gaze to Louis for a split second before focusing on Liam. “The line is ‘Good morning’,” he said, his voice low.

“Huh?” Louis asked.

“You were supposed to say ‘Good morning’.” Harry said, his voice louder this time. 

“What did I say?” The excitement of shooting a scene for the first time in ages had definitely blurred Louis’ memory a bit, but he remembered the gist: he walked in, saw Harry - or Forrest - and said his greeting. 

“You said ‘Hi there’.” 

Louis felt his eyebrows mar in confusion before looking pointedly at Liam. “That works, right? It’s a greeting.”

Liam, surprisingly, looked back to Harry, who had gone from a muted smile to a full on frown. Splendid.

“It’s not the same,” Harry said. “‘Hi there’ is too… casual. It’s like we’ve met before. You’re going to throw off our audience. Our first interaction should include a formal greeting.”

Louis looked between Liam and Harry, then looked out toward where the production assistants and crew watched. The lights were too bright to spot anyone behind the cameras but he was trying to figure out if he was the victim of some sort of first-day-on-set hazing. Was Harry really going to nitpick every word that came out of Louis’ mouth? There was no way…

But Liam and Harry’s facial expressions were deadset, and if this was a joke they weren’t letting on. Louis reminded himself that he wanted to be agreeable, and he’d tallied a fair number of fuckups already that morning, so for once in his life he conceded without debate.

“Okay,” he said, mustering every muscle in his mouth to form the word. “I’ll say ‘Good morning’.”

“Excellent,” Liam said, Harry nodding tersely at his side. Liam delivered another enthusiastic pat on Louis’ shoulder and was out of the scene within moments. Louis turned on his feet and carefully opened the shoddily constructed set door, took a deep breath, waited to hear “Action!”, and made his way through the bakery door yet again.

“Good morning.”

They hadn’t run lines as they’d walked through the basic blocking prior to letting the cameras roll. It was a simple scene, really. Louis was meant to walk into the bakery in a hurry, haphazardly order the first thing he spotted, then rush out without leaving a tip. 

Apparently HeartStamp liked to film chronologically, which made sense since the majority of the movie would be shot on the soundstage. It was a shift from Louis’ Dominion days when the cast shot in multiple locations, and filming occurred out of order to maximize the use of the space. After the bakery scene, Louis would film his first solo scene. He’d return to his imaginary office, eat the cinnamon roll from the bakery, and its special Christmas magic would have him returning back to the bakery the next day, craving more and more. 

Yes, seriously. What more could he have expected when he auditioned for a film called The Bakery Boyfriend?

He was caught off guard after Harry’s criticism of the first filmed words out of his mouth, and Louis fumbled more than he was used to as they completed the rest of the scene. Between Harry and Liam, cut was called more than a dozen times, and any notes were always delivered to Louis specifically. He nodded along and did as he was told, all the while fighting the urge to ask why Harry didn’t just play the role of Sam himself if he thought he could do a better job.

It would be like Harry’s 2017 film, The Twins of Twinkletown, when he starred in the roles of both Harvey and his twin brother Marvin. Despite the fact that Marvin had long hair (a poorly done wig) and Harvey had Harry’s current short style, the leading lady Jocelyn had still thought they were the same man until the very end. 

Louis hated that he knew the specifics of HeartStamp movies past.

And that he was too deep into this disaster to back out now.

--

It was starting to feel a bit like Groundhog Day on set. 

Louis was four days into the shoot, and so far had shot four scenes in the bakery and four scenes in his “office”, a set up complete with fake windows displaying a clearly color-printer version of the New York City skyline. His office chair was the real deal though, a cushy leather contraption he didn’t mind sitting in as props were arranged around him. 

So far, the chair might be the best thing he had going for him when it came to The Bakery Boyfriend. He’d known from the moment he’d first read the script that this film wasn’t exactly going to be groundbreaking. He just never would have guessed it would feel quite as cringeworthy as it had thus far. 

Liam had assured Louis that each time he came into the bakery, they were advancing his character of Sam. He was becoming a bit more personable with each enchanted treat offered by Forrest the baker. In the last bakery scene, it was written in the script that Sam smiled. A smile. The scripted smile was the first hint in days’ worth of filming that Sam the lawyer might not be a complete asshole. It was a cliched romance film trick, of course. The jerky businessman would be charmed by the cheery baker, develop a completely pleasant personality out of nowhere, and they would both ride off into the sunset. It just all felt so… forced. 

Of course, Harry was playing his part perfectly. When the cameras were on, he was all coy smiles and rosy cheeks. In reality, though, Harry was a force to be reckoned with if Louis’ delivery of a line, a glance, a fucking footstep, veered at all from his vision of the moment. Louis was coming to learn that Harry had a lot of pull on set, and if he wasn’t happy, the scene came to a halt faster than Louis could process at times. 

From what Louis could remember, he’d never felt like he was walking on eggshells in his Dominion days. Maybe part of it was being so young. He’d started filming the acclaimed book series when he was just eleven years old, plucked from obscurity and cast as Edwin, the sidekick to Jed Dominion himself. It had felt like fun back then, the set nearly doubling as a play yard since the bulk of the cast was his age. Plus, Dominion had been guaranteed to be a box office smash. 

And now? Made-for-TV movie or not, Louis felt pressure like he never had before. He had coerced Zayn into running lines with him every night over FaceTime, determined to learn them perfectly in an effort to keep the peace with Harry. First, Zayn had given him shit for caring so much, then he’d started in on how cheesy it all was. “What sort of agent let you take this role?” he’d said with a wicked smile on his face late Tuesday night… or early Wednesday morning? What was time? 

But Louis was not a quitter. Not to mention, the HeartStamp actor contracts were surprisingly ironclad. So, while it would take a verifiable Christmas miracle to actually enjoy this experience, he was determined to forge on. Even if it meant his chance at a comeback career was going to be dead on arrival as soon as this monstrosity aired.

“So excited to meet you, man.”

Louis readily accepted Niall Horan’s handshake. A break in the monotony of the bakery scenes was definitely going to be a positive shift to the week. Louis felt more relaxed already with Niall as the one behind the bakery counter. A supporting actor in the film, Niall exuded ease, resting his chin in his hands as he and Louis chatted away while the production assistants finished readying the space.

“I love your work on Seize the Clay,” Louis said.

“You watch that shit?”

“I live for that shit. Who knew a pottery-making competition could be so intense?” 

Niall’s laugh was genuine. “You’re telling me. I thought a hosting gig would be a good time. Some days I’ve never been more stressed.”

“When Nora dropped the vase she’d made for her grandmother in Season Two?”

“Gut wrenching,” Niall said, grabbing for his chest. “You have no idea.”

“So, hosting work and HeartStamp are your main gigs?” Louis asked. 

Niall nodded. “It’s a good mix. Get my Christmas fix,” he said, gesturing to his novelty sweater. “Plus, it’s like a family here. I’m sure you can tell.” 

“Uh, I bet.” Louis waited for a beat to see if maybe this was his HeartStamp hazing… the ruse that they were one big, happy family. But before he could decide if Niall was serious, it was time to start the scene. 

“All right,” Liam called out. “Are we feeling ready to shoot?” 

“Ready, boss,” Niall said.

Louis nodded as he took his place at the entrance, reviewing the scene’s summary in his head. 

Sam visits the bakery for the fifth day in a row. He’s sad to see the baker he’s come to know isn’t behind the counter, but a cinnamon roll is a cinnamon roll… or so he thinks. Turns out, the magic isn’t in the bakery itself, but in Forrest. 

Louis’ task in this scene was simple. He was meant to take a bite of the cinnamon roll in the bakery, then immediately demand to see “the other man”... whose name his character hadn’t bothered to learn after four consecutive days of interactions with him (charming). Niall’s character Jack would then share that Forrest was out doing some Christmas shopping, and Louis would abandon his day’s plans as an attorney (realistic) to hunt Forrest down in the crowded mall. And let the love story begin.

Louis walked into the bakery, his facial expression a perfect rendition of the description in the script: hopeful, then falling as Niall’s character came into view.

“Oh. Hello.” A perfect disappointed delivery.

“Morning. What can I get ya?”

Louis paused. Niall’s line should have been “Good morning. What would you like?”. Louis knew this scene forwards and backwards, and what Niall had said was a paraphrase at best. He looked to where he knew Liam would be standing, waiting for him to call cut. 

And an awkward pause ensued. 

“Um, Louis?” Liam’s voice was uneasy, cutting through the bright lights. “Do you need your line?”

Louis shook his head. “I think, ah… was that Niall’s line?” He felt like a snitch. 

“Huh?” Liam and Niall said in unison, as Liam made his way to the stage.

“Um. I just… I know everybody likes to stay on script.”

“I think I was good, yeah Payno?” The confusion was evident across Niall’s face, and Louis was wishing he could turn back time.

“It was fine.” Harry’s unmistakable voice boomed from offstage, and Louis felt his whole body tense. He had thought Harry would be off today, or working on another scene. Was he… just out there watching them? Watching for Louis to fuck things up, more like. 

The trio became a foursome as Harry stepped onto the stage. He was dressed down, a beanie covering his ears and a pair of baggy sweatpants slung across his hips. Louis would die to be wearing his own loose pants right now instead of the same pair of snug black trousers he’d squeezed himself into since Monday. 

“It maintained the integrity of the script,” Harry said, diving right into it apparently, and Louis couldn’t help the snort that escaped from his lips. Liam, Niall, and Harry’s heads whipped around in unison, and the feeling of all eyes on him was more than he could bear.

“I just…” he started. He willed himself to tamper down the anger that was bubbling up in his chest, but after days of biting his tongue, Louis was past the point of being able to once again roll over like a puppy. “Okay. I’m just going to come out and say it. I was essentially torn apart for saying something slightly different than ‘Good morning’ in my first scene.” 

The rapid head-turns continued, as Niall looked to Liam and Liam looked to Harry. In another moment, the almost choreographed nature of it all would have felt comical, and Louis might have thought they were finally about to admit they’d been screwing around with him this entire time. Only, Harry’s eyes stayed on Louis’, and intensely so.

“That was different,” Harry said.

“How?” Louis challenged. It was too late for him to turn back now.  

“Because Sam’s lines are…” Harry sighed. “They’re just crucial, okay? Everything you say is slowly taking his character on the journey he’s supposed to be on over the course of this story. And to say an impromptu line right out of the gate? It just… it doesn’t work. For Sam.”

“For Sam? Or for you?” 

A hush fell over the space, every person in the room clearly shocked that Louis had dared to speak up to defend himself against the all-powerful Harry. Each second felt like a decade as Harry glared at Louis, neither one of them willing to back down. 

After an eternity, Harry cleared his throat. “For the movie,” he answered tersely. He turned abruptly, walking quickly off the stage and out of view as the bright lights took over his form. 

It was Liam who broke the silence this time, clapping his hands together before speaking loudly. “Let’s take five everybody!”

The crew thankfully came to life at that, the attention off the scene that had just played out as people began to move about, speaking in hushed tones. 

Louis sighed, regretting his word vomit almost immediately. So much for keeping the peace, he thought to himself. Instead, he’d split what had been left unsaid all week wide open, and now he was pretty sure he’d be dealing with the fallout for the rest of the shoot. 

He looked at Niall. Louis could feel his cheeks flushing in embarrassment, but Niall only directed a sympathetic smile his way.

“I’m really sorry, man,” Louis said. “Harry stopped my first scene when I said the wrong line, so I just thought-”

“No worries,” Niall said, and Louis could tell that he meant it. “Harry’s just… well, this movie means a lot to him. HeartStamp movies are dumb as shit. I know it, he knows it, I’m guessing you know it.” Niall laughed as Louis smiled. “But, this one’s just bigger for Harry. You know he’s thrilled to have you on board, right?” 

“Right,” Louis deadpanned. “He’s made that abundantly clear.” 

“I’m completely serious. He basically had you cast as Sam the moment he saw your name on the audition list.” 

“Seems like I’m not turning out to be the Sam he imagined.”

“Nah,” Niall said, delivering a soft punch to Louis’ shoulder. “You’re crushing it. I’ll talk to him. Tell him to play nice.”

“Oh God, please don’t. The last thing I need is him thinking I’m complaining around to all the cast.”

“Nonsense,” Niall said. “Oh, hey. This is off topic, but… I kind of, maybe brought one of my Dominion movie posters to set, and I was hoping you might be willing to sign it? It’s not every day you meet someone from the series that defined your childhood.” 

Louis laughed, grateful for Niall’s obvious swerve from the events that had just transpired. “Is it the one where they badly photoshopped my face in an effort to conceal my teenage acne?”

Niall had one of those booming laughs that made a person feel like they had just told the best joke in the world.

“Or maybe the one where they tried to hide the fact that my co-star had braces by making him awkwardly smile with his mouth closed?” Louis continued.

“Might be that one,” Niall said.

“Well in that case, I’m happy to sign.”

--

“My family and I stopped buying gifts for each other ages ago,” Sam scoffs. “Why go through the trials of trying to pick out some meaningless token that may not even be appreciated? It all seems like a waste of time if you ask me.” 

Forrest shrugs a shoulder, the glint in his eyes playful. “Maybe letting someone know you’re thinking about them during the most wonderful time of the year would be appreciated more than you know. Christmas can be magical, Sam, if you just open up your heart to the holiday joy.”

Sam and Forrest stare into each other’s eyes, their thoughts unspoken. The holiday bustle continues around them, but all they can see is one another. 

“And cut!” Liam called out. “That’ll do it for today. Well done, everyone!” The extras milling around the pretend holiday shop cleared the area quickly, likely making their way over to craft services or itching to shrug out of their stifling holiday garb. At least, that was how Louis was feeling.

“Hey,” Harry said quietly. “Nice job today.”

“Thanks.” 

Louis had possibly never felt more grateful for a Friday. He’d made it through the first week of shooting, and planned to spend his weekend doing whatever felt the opposite of Christmassy… broiling himself on the beach, maybe? Inviting some friends over for a BBQ? It went without saying that he planned to wear as minimal clothing as was permissible in public. He would refuse to wear closed-toed shoes or long sleeves until it was time to get into costume Monday morning. 

He stood awkwardly on the stage, waiting. With the overhead lights on now, he could see Liam by the cameras, discussing something with one of the cinematographers. Five days into this gig, he knew what would happen next: Liam would stride over to Harry and Louis and launch into his end-of-day pep talk. There would be accolades and pats on the back and until-next-times. Louis liked Liam’s directorial style for the most part. He was kind and encouraging, and Louis could tell he really enjoyed the work. He let Harry walk all over him, but other than that…

Harry. Harry was lingering a mere foot away from Louis, his hands in the pockets of his skin-tight costume jeans. Louis might have let his frustration get the best of him during his scene with Niall yesterday, but it was nitpicky Harry who had made things awkward from the word go. If Harry hadn’t felt the need to critique every little thing Louis had said and done over the course of the week, maybe Louis wouldn’t have blown his top in front of the entire crew. But, what was done was done, so now they just stood there, not talking, not even looking at each other, waiting for Liam to do his thing so they could go on their very separate ways.

“Hey guys.” Liam rushed over as if on cue. “Great job today. This whole week! First week down, Louis, huh? What do you think?”

“Uh, yeah. It’s been great.”

“Good, good,” Liam said. “Glad to hear it.” If he could sense the palpable tension lingering between him and Harry (and how could he not?), he did nothing to let on. “So, Christmas Wonderland this weekend, right?”

“Christmas what now?” Louis said, drawing a perplexed look from Liam.

“You haven’t heard of the Christmas Wonderland tradition?” Liam asked. “Thought Harry would have mentioned it.”

“He didn’t.”

“Haven’t had a chance,” Harry said, an air of annoyance evident in his tone.

“No time like the present,” Louis snarked back. “I’d love to know what I’m supposed to be doing this weekend.” 

Liam stared pointedly at Harry. “Do you want me to explain?” he said, and for the first time Louis could hear the slightest hint of frustration in Liam’s tone. 

Harry sighed. “Every year, the two co-stars go to Christmas Wonderland to pick out an ornament for the film’s Christmas tree.”

“So Christmas Wonderland is a place?” Louis asked. 

“It’s awesome, Louis,” Liam said, attempting to inject an impossible frisson of optimism into the stilted conversation. “It’s a Christmas store that’s open year-round, and happens to be ten minutes away from the HeartStamp headquarters. Our script writers couldn’t have written something as serendipitous if they tried.” 

“Okay. So I need to go to the Christmas store and buy an ornament before Monday?” Someone had clearly shut off the air conditioning on their way out, and Louis was just about willing to agree to anything so he could make his escape and peel off the winter clothing he’d been trapped in all day.

“Well,” Liam said. He paused, looking between Harry and Louis. “Um, usually the co-stars go together. You know, HeartStamp family and all.”

“We’ll go together,” Harry said. “It’s tradition.” He looked at Louis, his expression almost daring him to challenge it.

Louis wasn’t taking the bait. “Fine. I’ll Google map it and meet you there. When?”

Harry clearly wasn’t expecting him to give in that easily. He fumbled for a moment before responding. “Uh. Tomorrow at one?”

“It’s a date, Forrest,” Louis said. “Open my eyes to the magic of Christmas.”

Liam’s laugh was much too enthusiastic for Louis’ sarcastic dig. He patted Harry and Louis on the shoulders - so much shoulder patting - and said his goodbyes while in motion. Liam was clearly one of those people who handled conflict by pretending it wasn’t happening, and escaping from the situation as soon as he could. 

And then there were two. Super.

“Well,” Louis said, “guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He turned for his dressing room without awaiting a reply.

--

“You’re late.” Harry leaned against the trunk of a tired-looking Volvo sedan, smacking an obvious piece of gum between his lips.

“LA traffic,” Louis said with a shrug. Truth was, he’d remembered that morning that the store was called Christmas… something. And had proceeded to spend way too much time googling Christmas stores open year round near me before finally finding the name that rang a bell (ha - Christmas pun). He’d sped a bit to make it to Christmas Wonderland and was ten minutes late, but that had been better than the alternative. He wouldn’t have been caught dead reaching out to someone at HeartStamp to let them know he’d forgotten the name of their precious Christmas store.

“Traffic does suck out here, huh?” 

Louis paused mid-step. Had Harry just… agreed with him? 

“Um, yeah,” Louis replied. “It does.”

Harry pushed himself off the trunk of the car and walked ahead, holding the door of Christmas Wonderland open and ushering Louis in ahead of him.

And that was when Louis was smacked in the face and all five senses by full-on Christmas.

“Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” was blaring loudly over the speakers, and strands upon strands of twinkling lights were hanging from the ceiling. An inflatable snowman greeted them at the entrance, its animatronic hand waving rhythmically from side to side. The smell of fake pine was so strong that Louis could nearly taste it in the back of his throat.

“This is… something.” he said.

“I know. Pretty amazing, right? Let’s find Nina.”

Harry eased his way past a display of wreaths, effortlessly stepping over a jumble of cords duct-taped to the ground. He shimmied between two Christmas trees and ducked under an archway of lights, his motions clearly well-practiced, before arriving at a cashier’s counter and ringing the bell.

Louis nearly caught on to the choreography, until he stubbed his toe on a stone Santa gnome tucked to one side of the archway. He fumbled, nearly tripping out of his Adidas slide ons before bracing himself on the counter with both hands. 

Harry smirked by his side. “Oops,” he commented, unhelpfully.

“Yeah yeah,” Louis said, bending down to inspect his pinky toe. 

“Harry!” A voice sounded out from a veritable forest of artificial trees to their left. “Is that you, dear?”

The trees jostled one by one, the movement starting in the back and slowly creeping forward. For a moment, Louis pictured a wild animal slinking on all fours their way. He shook the thought from his head quickly. Not real trees.

The fake tree nearest them was pure white, as if covered in frost and snow. Louis had always preferred a classic green tree, but the way the white one was decorated, its small twinkling blue lights and golden ornaments, gave off an elegance that was somewhat mesmerizing. Suddenly the white tree shook slightly, and out from the arbor-themed maze popped Mrs. Claus herself.

Or, at least how Louis had always pictured Santa’s wife.

The woman was tiny, clearly under five feet tall. She was dressed in tailored red pants and a matching red sweater, adorned with colorful shiny baubles resembling ornaments. Her white hair was short, its style reminiscent of Louis' own grandmother’s, her glasses were perched on the edge of her nose, and her rosy-cheeked smile had Louis smiling back without a second thought.

Even though he had no idea who she actually was.

“Nina!” Harry said, rushing over and embracing the woman in a fond hug.

“Hello, darling. Let me get a look at you.” She crossed her arms as Harry stood in front of her. “You said you’d make sure you weren’t a stranger, you know. But it’s been months.” Her accent was thick, and Louis immediately recognized that she must have been a New York native before making her way to the Pacific coast. 

“I know,” Harry said sheepishly. “I’ve been busy.”

“Well, time flies, dear. But you look well.” She craned her neck around him, smiling in Louis’ direction. “And who do we have here?”

Harry turned back, stretching his arm out toward Louis with a dramatic flair. “Nina,” he said, “this is Louis. My co-star.” 

Nina gasped, making a show of bringing her hands to her mouth. It was a gesture that would have appeared exaggerated on anyone else, but Louis already had a feeling that no reaction coming from her was disingenuous.

“Harry! They’re finally letting you make the gay movie?”

Harry’s eyes grew wide, his mouth gaping open as he looked to Nina before chancing a glance Louis’ way. He visibly relaxed once he realized that Louis was clearly amused, then exhaled with a deep chuckle. “Uh,” he said, scratching at his temple with his pointer finger. “I’m not quite sure how to answer that.”

“Allow me,” Louis said, stepping closer. “Nina, it’s a pleasure to meet you, and Harry and I are absolutely making a gay movie.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Nina grabbed Louis’ forearms, then encased him in a tight hug before grasping him at the shoulders, her eyes studying him. “Harry,” she stage-whispered, “he’s a looker.”

“Oh my God,” Harry said, burying his face in his hands. 

Nina was the epitome of an embarrassing grandmother, with a fanciful Christmas twist. Louis was in love.

“She’s not wrong,” Louis said. “I was obviously cast for my good looks. I’ve been told I have a boyish charm about me.”

“Anyway,” Harry said, his cheeks visibly flushed. “We’re here to pick out an ornament for the set’s tree, of course.”

“Ah. One of my favorite holiday traditions,” Nina said. “Did you know that Harry’s been doing this since his first Christmas movie, Louis?”

“I didn’t.”

“When I was cast in A Husband for the Holidays, five years ago now,” Harry ambled toward the white tree as he spoke, running a gentle hand over an intricate golden ornament shaped like an icicle. “I came here for some Christmas inspiration right before filming started, bought an ornament and brought it with me to set, and the rest is history.”

“He’s brought so many women here with him to pick out an ornament, Louis.” Nina cut in. “Who was that first one? Kathy something?”

“Katie,” Harry said. “Katie Marshall.”

“She was fine,” Nina added.

Harry snorted. “Katie is wonderful. She still features in some HeartStamp movies, Louis. You’ll meet her.”

“As long as that one broad doesn’t come back,” Nina said on a huff. “The famous one… what was her name?”

“No comment,” Harry said, fixing his gaze on a shimmery glass snowflake.

“Jenna Walsh?” Louis supplied, regretting it immediately when Harry looked up at him curiously. “What?” he said. “I’ve done my HeartStamp homework.”

“That’s the one!” Nina said, pointing her finger in Louis’ direction. “Jenna. She was a piece of work.”

“She was a big pull for the network,” Harry said. “A legitimate movie star in one of our HeartStamp films? It was exciting.”

“And?” Nina said. 

Harry frowned. “And she was horrible to work with.”

“I could tell from the moment she walked in here,” Nina said, her serious gaze aimed at Louis. “She was ungrateful, snotty, the works. Good riddance to her.”

“Nina’s a good judge of character,” Harry shrugged, walking along the back side of the white tree.

“That’s right,” Nina agreed. “But I can tell this young man here is a keeper.” She reached out a hand, delivering a swift pinch to Louis’ cheek.

Harry poked his head out from behind the tree, smirking as Louis rubbed a hand over his cheek. “We’ll see,” he said, a smile playing across his lips. 

Louis almost felt like they had walked into an alternate universe the moment they’d crossed the Christmas Wonderland threshold. Harry was happy, their conversation was cordial. Harry and Louis could get along here, a magical place where everything was hunky-dory. On one hand, Louis was waiting to be woken up from whatever dream state he was in. But on the other hand, he was going to enjoy this moment of relative peace while it lasted. 

“Louis,” Nina said. “Did Harry tell you about my grandson?”

“Um, I don’t think so?” Louis answered, catching Harry shaking his head from the corner of his eye.

“Edward. Brilliant young man. He lives in New York City. Works on Wall Street. He’s si-i-i-ngle,” she sang, raising her eyebrows.

“I’m not sure Louis is interested,” Harry said.

“Oh shush,” Nina scolded. “You’ve had your chance with Edward. You kept saying you weren’t interested in my matchmaking schemes.”

“Still not,” Harry deadpanned, before stepping deeper into the trees. “Louis, you coming?”

After promising Nina that they would come get her if they needed absolutely any help, Louis made his escape into the trees, pushing past one with twinkling multicolored lights before quickly finding Harry.

“Well, she’s amazing,” Louis said.

“I know.” Harry was running his hand over a bird ornament, its shape formed with bright blue feathers. “She’s like my stand-in grandma out here, I swear.”

“And where’s your real grandma, then?”

“Minnesota,” Harry said. “My whole family, actually.”

“Wow. Talk about a winter wonderland.”

“Nothing wonderful about a Minnesota winter,” Harry mused. “You’re a California native, right?”

“Born and raised. So what are we looking for, then?” Louis asked. “Something classic? Outlandish?” 

“Uh… appropriate for television. That’s the big one,” Harry said.

“So this one’s out?” It was perfect timing really, as Louis held up a clay ornament of a mooning Santa, his cheeks out of his red trousers in full display.

“Dear God.”

“I’m hearing you love it,” Louis said, looping the ribbon on a button of Harry’s plaid shirt. 

“Very much no.” Harry fumbled to remove it from his shirt, then hooked it on the first open tree branch in sight. “We’ll know the perfect ornament when we see it,” he said. “That’s kind of how it always happens.”

“Okay.”

They settled into a comfortable silence as they ambled among the trees, occasionally reaching out to touch an ornament for a closer look. The ornaments weren’t organized in any particular way as far as Louis could tell, an assortment of colors and shapes and themes overtaking each tree. 

Louis paused as the sparkle of a rhinestone-covered lion caught his eye. He smiled as he plucked it from the tree before continuing the search. Harry eyed him curiously.

“For my sister,” he said. “The lion is her astrological sign, or whatever. She’s really into that stuff.”

“Nice of you,” Harry said.

“Unlike Sam, I do buy gifts for my loved ones. I’m not an asshole… just playing one in a TV movie, apparently.”

Harry sighed. “I know you aren’t an asshole.” He walked around the perimeter of a pencil-like tree, tall and slim. “If anything, I’m the one who’s being an asshole. That’s what Niall said at least.”

“I like Niall.” Louis kept his gaze firmly fixed on the tree in front of him, an ostentatiously colored blue number. He was letting Harry take the reins on whatever this conversation was becoming. 

Harry’s laugh was restrained. “So do I. Do you like this one?” He held up a felt-covered orange cat, the words Meowy Christmas scrolled over a wreath at the bottom.

Back to ornament talk, then. “Meh. Doesn’t really relate to the movie.”

“Should it?” Harry asked. 

Louis couldn’t help but feel like this was a trick question, so he crafted a careful response. “I mean, it could. Do they usually?”

“I guess sometimes, yeah. Cassidy and I picked out an ornament that looked like a little tray of cookies for Christmas Cookie Conundrum.” 

“Shall I ask Nina where she keeps the gay ornaments in honor of our gay movie?” Louis forced himself to keep a straight face.

“Let’s keep Nina out of it,” Harry smirked. “Tiny Christmas sweater?” he asked, holding up a miniature green and red knitted print fashioned on a tiny hanger. 

“Maybe.”

“You haven’t suggested any,” Harry said.

Louis shrugged. “Haven’t found the one yet,” he said. Don’t want to get it wrong.

They wordlessly continued their slow trek through the trees. Louis realized the song had switched over to “All I Want for Christmas is You” without him noticing. He couldn’t help but hum along as he crouched at the bottom of a tree, none of the stars and baubles quite measuring up. He stood up quickly, nearly jumping backwards when he realized Harry was standing directly in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said.

“No worries.”

“No,” Harry said. He was standing still for the first time since they started the ornament search. “I’m sorry I’ve been… difficult. On set.”

“Oh.” Louis paused, carefully considering the best move forward. He could say “It’s okay” or “You’ve been fine” and just hope they could finally move past the tension that had surrounded their every interaction over the past few days. But instead, he waited. He didn’t know Harry well - he hardly knew him at all - but he had a feeling that false platitudes wouldn’t move them past this. Harry needed to say his piece, and Louis’ response needed to be genuine.

As if on cue, Harry took a breath, continuing. “This is in no way meant to be an excuse, but this film is really important to me. I know that sounds dumb and I know it’s a made-for-TV movie that’s airing on a channel watched exclusively by suburban housewives. It’s just the closest I’ve come to actually being able to tell a story that matters to me, and I think in my effort to do it justice I’m turning into a bit of a control freak.”

“There’s a reason Nina is so excited about you filming a gay movie.”

Harry’s smile was fond. “Very much so. This was my third year pitching a same-sex love story to the executives, and they finally agreed to it. They even offered to let me serve as a producer on the film.”

Louis knew that Harry had a big part in helping this movie come to life. What he hadn’t realized before was how hard he seemed to have fought for it. 

“And you picked me to be a part of it.” Louis said. A statement, not a question.

“Well, the casting directors get the final call. But I definitely had a say.”

Mariah Carey transitioned to a piano-driven rendition of “O Holy Night,” and Christmas Wonderland somehow took on a reverent nature it had most certainly lacked not moments before. 

“Harry?” Louis said, fixing his gaze firmly into Harry’s green eyes. “This story is important for me to tell too, you know.”

“It’s not like it’s going to be monumental or change people’s lives,” Harry said. “I get that. The Academy Awards will not be hunting me down for my work at HeartStamp.”

“Maybe not,” Louis said. “But well-done representation matters, no matter where it happens.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I just…” Louis paused, willing himself to get the wording right. To continue moving this conversation forward, instead of moving them backwards. “You have to trust that I’m not going to ruin this. I alter a line, and it’s like the world is ending. Then Niall does the same thing and you’re completely fine with it.” 

“I know,” Harry said. “I really am sorry. Niall and I have done four HeartStamp movies together now, and I just really know his style at this point, you know? Like, nothing he improvised is going to veer the plot off its course. But… I just, I don’t know you well enough yet.”

“I’ve been told I’m mysterious.” Louis wiggled his eyebrows, his stomach fluttering when he earned the soft smile he’d hoped for.

“I promise,” Harry said, “I’m going to trust you more. You know what you’re doing. You’re here for a reason.”

“I am,” Louis said, nodding. “This means something to me, too. I’m not going to let you down.”

Harry’s nod served to heal the divide between the two of them in a way Louis could almost feel. They were working together toward a common goal. He knew that now.

“Oh, and Harry?” he said, Harry’s brow quirking in interest. “I found our ornament.”

“Huh? When?”

“While you were complimenting my acting prowess.” Louis reached over Harry’s shoulder, removing the one from a traditionally plump forest green branch. “Thoughts?”

Louis held out the intricate crystal snowflake, watching with awe as the twinkling lights in Christmas Wonderland played off its surface, creating a rainbow prism effect as clear as day. “It’s understated,” he said. “But I feel like it has a certain something to it, right? Would look beautiful on camera.”

Harry appeared almost entranced as he watched the colors bounce off its edges. He said nothing, until Louis’ confidence started to waver. Finally, he let out a happy sigh. “It’s perfect,” he said.

“You’re not just saying that because of our little moment we just had here?”

Harry shook his head. “Nope. It’s the one. You are my co-star, and this is our ornament.”

“Okay then.”

Their walk back through the trees was accompanied by a choir singing “Joy to the World” over the speakers, and if that wasn’t a good omen, Louis wasn’t sure what was.

He was on the same page as Harry. They had the same goal, and they were finally going to approach this task as teammates.

They could only go up from here. 

--

“What’s this shit made out of anyway?”

Louis’ snow boots were ankle deep in fake snow that clung to the sides of his shoes, almost like miniscule pieces of styrofoam. “Is it cold?” he asked, curiosity getting the better of him as he knelt down to run his hand through it. “Definitely not,” he surmised. “So weird.”

“Movie magic, man,” Niall said. “I have no idea what it’s made out of if I’m being honest. I just show up on set and boom, it’s here. I will tell you, though, that the crew does not like it if you try to make a snow angel in between takes. Ruins your costume. Not that I would know.” 

“Definitely not going to ruin these boots,” Louis said, eyeing the gloriously roomy, fleece-lined cargo boots that were embracing his feet in a soft hug. “Think they’ll let me wear these as part of Sam’s business attire?” Niall laughed, but Louis was only partly joking. These boots paired with loose-fitted jeans and a plaid button-up were by far the most comfortable costume he’d worn on set thus far. Business Sam was still being a bit of a prick, but Casual Sam wasn’t so bad. 

They were finishing the second week of filming with their first night shoot on one of the outdoor soundlots. Louis had never done a night shoot that went past ten before. He was seventeen when shooting the last Dominion film, and so the child labor laws had still been carefully enforced, nighttime curfew included.

Tonight they’d likely be on set until three in the morning, Liam had explained, a concept Louis could hardly even fathom. They’d waited to start until nine, ensuring the summer sun had fully set. It was still eighty degrees by moonlight in the middle of the Los Angeles summer, so Louis had been encouraged to keep his winter coat off until shooting actually began. He wiped at his forehead, perspiration already beading at his scalp. Leaving his coat off until absolutely necessary was a suggestion he planned to adhere to fully. 

“Happy night shoot!” Harry called, fluttering in from seemingly nowhere, a cardboard Starbucks drink carrier in hand. 

“Yes!” Niall made a show of trudging through the imaginary snow, his outstretched hands already grabbing toward a cup. “Which one is mine?” he asked.

“The one with the stopper,” Harry said. “With a double shot of espresso, you maniac.”

“Thanks H!” Niall bounded off like the energizer bunny.

“Did I just hear you say that Niall’s about to drink a double shot of espresso? Seems like that’s the last thing he needs.”

Harry smiled, passing Louis a cup. “Yup. And completely agree. It’s tradition, though. Happy first night shoot.”

“Are you telling me this is an espresso too?”

“Oh God, no,” Harry said with a laugh. “Drinking espresso on a night shoot is a tradition reserved only for Niall. Yours is a peppermint hot chocolate. Festive, right?” 

“How’d you manage to get a holiday drink in July?” Louis asked.

“They’ll make one anytime if you ask them very nicely.” 

Louis held the grande cup under his nose and inhaled deeply, the peppermint scent immediately heightening his senses. “You’ve got all the Christmas tricks up your sleeve, Styles.”

“What can I say? Christmas is my specialty. Now let’s go drink these by the giant cooling fans until they’re ready for us.”

“Your best idea yet,” Louis said. “Lead the way.” 

While last week had felt like they were headed for disaster, this week Louis could feel himself relaxing into his role as Harry’s HeartStamp co-star. True to his word, it was apparent that Harry was earnestly trying to loosen his hold over every creative aspect of the film. Louis could even say the experience, cheesy as it still was, was bordering on enjoyable.

This week had seen Sam and Forrest spending time together in Louis’ office and at the bakery, but Louis' favorite day had been when Forrest took Sam to a holiday gift drive to show him how good it felt to give back in the name of Christmas. 

“You made a little friend,” Forrest says, motioning toward the young girl holding her new doll.

Sam shrugs. “I gave her the doll, she gave me a hug. Clearly the excitement was about the gift.”

“I don’t know,” Forrest replies. “She looks like she’s hoping you’ll join her at the cookie decorating table.” He motions emphatically toward the young girl, her hopeful gaze clearly pointed at Sam. 

Sam shakes his head. “I don’t know how to engage with a child. They’re so… small.”

“Try it,” Forrest says, placing his hands on Sam’s shoulders and leading him to the space. The Christmas music picks up, and a noticeable tingle of Christmas magic courses from Forrest’s fingers to Sam’s black sweater, transforming it into a colorful red and green number.

Sam looks from his sweater to Forrest, his eyes wide. “I’m going to the cookie decorating table,” he says, as if in a trance. 

Forrest looks on from afar as Sam interacts with the little girl. He elicits a shrill giggle from her as he comically crosses his eyes.

“You clearly love kids,” Harry had said as they’d walked to the parking lot together following the scene. Louis had initiated a massive group hug with the child actors once the scene had wrapped, getting tackled in the process as the children screamed excitedly. 

“Again, I’m not actually my character,” Louis had said. “And yeah, kids are amazing. What could be better?”

Tonight’s shoot wouldn’t involve children, but there were dozens of adult extras milling about in the Christmas village. The crew was occupied shooting B-roll footage to start, images of extras walking down the snowy streets, admiring the town’s outdoor Christmas tree, drinking hot cocoa, the works.

Louis yawned, curling his legs up under him in the plastic adirondack chair he’d settled into at Harry’s side. “Sorry,” he said.

“Past your bedtime?” Harry smirked.

“I can make it until at least ten,” he said, taking a grateful sip of his flavored hot chocolate, and pretending the warmth of the liquid wasn’t contributing to his drowsiness. “If you keep me occupied, that is.”

“Hmm…” Harry seemed to ponder this for a moment. “Okay. I have a question.”

“Yeah?”

“Why now?”

Louis scrunched his nose. “Why what now?”

“Why return to acting, I mean. Dominion ended… what? A dozen years ago? More? I’ve just been curious why you decided to come back to this world now.”

“Good question.” He’d spent months vacillating over what the right decision was when the desire to return to Hollywood had sparked deep in his gut. He’d mulled over the idea with Zayn for weeks, practically agonized over it, until Zayn said Louis either needed to audition for something or just shut up about it.

“I think…” Louis said finally. “I think I just got bored.”

Harry looked at him quizzically, cocking his head to the side like a dog who had heard its favorite word. “Explain.”

“Okay, so, after Dominion ended I went to college. We’d filmed for six consecutive years at that point, and I did all of middle and high school on the film lot or with a tutor. Not exactly real life, right? So I was determined to have that college experience.”

“Degree in English lit, right? What?” Harry said, becoming defensive as Louis stared. “I’ve done my research. The internet can tell you anything you want to know.”

“Noted,” Louis said. It didn’t feel like the time to mention that, thanks to the power of Google, he had Harry’s HeartStamp catalog practically memorized. “So, I got a degree in English. But what am I going to do with it, really? Become a professor? I was a teaching assistant for one class my senior year and it was a complete disaster. People only took it because they wanted to meet that actor from Dominion. So I’ve been just sitting on my degree, and I’ve kept myself busy with charity work. But, I don’t know… I just felt like it was time to throw myself into a project again. Does that make sense?”

“It does,” says Harry. “It’s one thing I regret, you know. Not finishing college.”

“What were you studying?” Louis asked.

“Well, my major when I dropped out was political science. Not sure I would have stayed the course with that. But a theater degree would have been cool.”

“Did you drop out for Sand in the Hourglass?” Louis said, before realizing he’d just given his own internet search history away. He laughed when Harry eyed him suspiciously. “Okay, busted. Now I’m the one reciting your IMDB.”

“Knew I wasn’t the only one,” Harry said before continuing. “And that actually is why I left college, yeah. It’s a funny story.”

“Let’s hear it.”

Harry cleared his throat. “So, I moved here to go to UCLA. Assured my parents I would pick a realistic major.”

“Hence poli sci.”

“Exactly. But, I thought it would be cool to try out to be an extra on something. I figured I could make a little bit of cash and see what TV acting was like, you know? I was all about theater in high school. So I showed up to an open casting call for Sand in the Hourglass and before I knew it, I had a supporting role in a daytime soap opera.”

“That’s wild.” He’d found old footage of Harry’s soap days on YouTube, for completely work-related purposes as he prepared to act opposite him. Harry had played Cameron, the college-aged son of one of the main couples, for a few seasons at least. “Do you miss it?” Louis asked.

“Sand in the Hourglass? Meh, not really. It kind of helps knowing there’s always a chance I could be asked to come back for a feature, even if they did kill me off in a car crash. I’ve already returned twice as Ghost Cameron, you know.”

“Ghost Cameron,” Louis repeated, laughing. “Just about as outlandish as what we’ve got going here. You’ve got a genre, Styles.”

“Not on purpose,” Harry smiled. “It’s not like I came into this trying to find the cheesiest roles possible. I actually… well, this seems like ages ago now, but drama had absolutely been my preference back in my theater days.”

“Interesting,” Louis said, trying to picture Harry in a dramatic role. Harry on an actual stage, projecting loudly. Maybe in a period piece, dressed in a suit and tie, his hair slicked to one side with gel. It actually wasn’t too difficult to conjure up in his mind. “Have you ever thought about going back to the theater side of things?”

Harry frowned. “I don’t know. It would be a pretty major leap at this point.”

“If you love it, though…” Louis drifted off as Liam hustled in front of the giant fan, his t-shirt comically flapping against his back. Of course the crew got to wear weather-appropriate clothing to film outdoors.

“Hey, you two ready?” Liam said. “We’re going to start at the Christmas tree.”

The fictional town’s outdoor Christmas tree really was a spectacle. It was as tall as a building, topped with an enormous twinkling star and dressed tastefully with a thick tan ribbon circling its branches. “Where’s our ornament?” Louis whispered as they approached.

“Oh,” Harry said. “That will be on the indoor tree. We’ll shoot a Christmas day scene toward the end of filming.”

The staging notes in the script had been minimal for the montage of snippets they would shoot first, which would play with a track of “Jingle Bells” during the film. Sam and Forrest gazed with wonder at the enormous tree, ordered two hot ciders from a stand, stared into store windows, and ambled down the crowded cobblestone town square. Louis had been thrilled to read in the script that Sam also got to throw a snowball at Forrest. Seeing as the fake snow wouldn’t form into a ball, the prop assistant handed him a mound of shaved ice fashioned into a sphere. He could feel its chill even through the fleece gloves he’d been given to slip on, a welcome relief from the warm night air. 

“That looks like it’s gonna hurt,” Harry said, eyeing the packed-down ice. Louis squeezed it slightly, only to find that the thing didn’t give at all.

“I’ll aim for a soft spot, yeah? Your coat?”

Harry nodded, but the gesture in no way disguised the wariness he still clearly felt.

Sam playfully throws a mound of snow at Forrest, the smiles evident on both of their faces.

Louis kept the note in his mind as he set the formed snowball on the ground. As action was called, he quickly pretended to fashion one on his own before rising up, the smile on his face devious in a way that felt like it captured Sam perfectly. He wound up as if he was going to absolutely pelt Harry, before lobbing the veritable block of ice like a softball. 

It made a thunking sound as it hit the ground, a good foot away from Harry.

“Cut!” Liam called. “Let’s try it again, Louis. Maybe throw it a bit farther?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis agreed. The snowball hadn’t been damaged at all in its descent to the ground. Harry was staring at it like it was something supernatural.

“Harry,” Louis said quietly as he bent to retrieve it. “I’m not going to hit you hard, okay?”

Again, a nod was Harry’s only response.

Louis’ throw this time was perfect, an underarm toss that arched into the air, traveling toward Harry slowly enough that it would likely just brush along his puffy coat before clunking onto the ground.

Until Harry jumped out of the way. 

“That was a good one!” Louis protested. “You would have been fine!” He started his approach, but froze as Harry bent down, practically in slow motion, to pick up the snowball. He stood fully upright, passing it back and forth between his hands, his gaze focused on its icy shape.

“Harry,” Louis said, holding his hands up defensively. “I don’t know what you’re planning.”

Harry looked up slowly, the smile on his face one fit for a movie villain. “Sucker,” he said, before launching the snowball in Louis’ direction. 

Louis let out a shrill screech as the snowball hit him square in the abdomen, knocking the wind out of him. He plopped backward onto the ground, mainly for the dramatics, but damn. That monstrosity truly was a block of solid ice. 

He opened his eyes as he heard footsteps shuffling his way. Harry stood over him, his face a mix of both amusement and concern, before holding out his hand for Louis to grasp.

“You okay?” he said. 

Louis reached out for his hand, and as soon as his gloved fingers made contact with Harry’s he pulled hard. Harry grunted out a surprised oof as he plummeted into the fake snow pile at Louis’ side. 

They descended into a full-on wrestling match from there, Harry impressively pinning Louis to the ground as Louis floundered under him. Plotting an escape, Louis swiped his hand through the styrofoam snow, sending it flying in the air and distracting Harry just enough to roll him over. Louis had the advantage now, but as he braced himself atop Harry, the muscles in his biceps flexing forcefully to keep himself upright, he found himself unable to do much aside from catch his breath. Harry seemed to be in a similar state, lying still under him, his chest pulsing up and down and his eyes fixed on Louis.

“Okay, cut!” Liam’s call broke Louis from his trance, and he pushed himself upward quickly, moving from a squat to fully standing in a matter of milliseconds before offering Harry a hand. 

“I’m trusting you here,” Louis said. Harry smirked as he grasped his palm firmly, making a show of pulling slightly before he righted himself, sitting in the mounds of white dust as he tried to work it out of his hair with his free hand.

“Nice improv, guys,” Liam said. “That should work well in the music montage.”

“Um, yeah,” Louis answered. “Improv.”

“We’ll let you get cleaned up with hair and wardrobe and then set for the last scene.” As per usual, Liam was gone as quickly as he appeared, likely consulting with the camera operators as the next set-up was prepared.

“Up and at ‘em, Styles,” Louis said, Harry protesting with a whine before pushing himself onto his feet. “You good?”

“Should probably be asking you,” Harry teased. “You’re the one who ended up getting pelted with a snowball.” 

“Yeah, about that. First of all, rude,” Louis said, before lifting his coat and shirt. “And, there is kind of a red mark, look!” He turned toward Harry, pointing to a circle of angry reddened skin that perfectly matched the shape of the snowball from hell. “See?”

“Seems like you’re just coming up with an excuse to show off your rock-hard abs.” 

A laugh erupted from Louis’ lips without warning, eliciting a surprise giggle from Harry as well. “You’re such an ass,” he said, shoving Harry playfully. “Nothing rock hard about this.” He let his clothing fall, patting his hands against his puffy coat.

“I don’t know,” Harry said. “Feels like I saw a six pack for sure.”

“More like an eight pack, but thanks for keeping me humble. Now let’s go get spruced up, yeah?” 

--

“Look up,” Forrest says, his eyes moving upwards along with the camera. Sam follows his gaze, laughing as he realizes they are standing under a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the roof of the town gazebo.

“How’d that get there?” Sam asks. Forrest only smiles and shrugs. For a moment, they’re both silent. 

“O Holy Night” begins to play softly in the background. 

“It’s important to adhere to Christmas traditions,” Forrest says.

“Oh, yeah?” Sam’s voice is measured, his words slow. He looks down when Forrest holds out his hands, pausing before he tentatively places his palms against Forrest’s own. “In the name of tradition, then,” he says. 

Forrest leans forward first, beginning to close the space between them. Sam swallows, then follows suit, their lips approaching one another as the mistletoe above them twinkles.

The camera zooms into their faces, their lips moments from touching before loud footsteps are heard approaching.

“There you are!” Jack calls out. Sam and Forrest quickly pull apart as Jack enters the gazebo. Forrest’s hands fall to his side, while Sam runs his hand over his mouth.

“We’re out of cookies at the Christmas bakery stand, Forrest,” Jack says, oblivious to what he’s just interrupted.

Forrest looks to Sam apologetically. “Duty calls,” he says.

“Go,” Sam answers, his tone light. “I’ll catch up with you.”

Jack and Forrest leave quickly, and Sam walks to the edge of the gazebo, resting his hands against its edge as he looks into the night scene thoughtfully.

“Well done, everyone!” Liam called out. Louis was surprised when the crew all began clapping, then realized they probably felt as delirious as he did. Last he checked, it was three-thirty in the morning. He couldn’t remember the last time he stayed up this late. 

Harry and Niall were waiting for Louis as he stepped down from the gazebo. 

“Nice job, guys,” Niall said. “The sexual tension was palpable.” He licked his finger, then touched it to Harry and Louis one-by-one as he made a sizzling sound.

“This is a family show!” Harry said, and two-shots-of-espresso Niall immediately dissolved into a fit of giggles. 

“He’s one of those overtired people who finds everything insanely funny, huh?” Louis asked, Harry nodding in response.

“Better than being the grumpy kind,” Niall said, pinching Harry’s cheek. 

“I don’t get grumpy,” Harry frowned. Niall looked at Louis conspiratorially before he started to cackle again.

“Well, I’m the type of person who might fall asleep standing up,” Louis said. “Think I’m gonna-” he gestured toward the dressing rooms. Harry and Niall nodded before following suit, their pace more of an amble as they forced their weary bodies along. 

“Josh!” Niall said as they approached someone Louis didn’t recognize standing outside of the dressing area. “What’s up, man?” 

“The sun, just about,” the man replied. Louis wasn’t sure he meant to be funny, but Niall laughed anyway, smacking his hand against his knee for emphasis. 

The man cleared his throat, unamused, before looking to Harry. “Thought you’d be done by now, babe.”

There was a moment of silence as Niall’s laughter died down. Louis racked his sleep-deprived brain, trying to recall if Harry had mentioned a boyfriend, or if Josh was just some random man who lingered around on movie sets calling people babe.

Babe. Blech. The word left a sour taste in Louis’ mouth. 

“Um, yeah.” Harry said softly. “It ran late.”

The quiet was deafening following Harry’s delayed response. Louis looked at Harry, then Niall, before deciding to take matters into his own hands.

“I’m Louis,” he said, extending his hand. “Louis Tomlinson.”

“Josh,” he answered, his grasp firm as he returned Louis’ handshake.

Niall, thankfully, cut in. “Isn’t it cool that we have the Louis Tomlinson on our set, Josh? I idolized him back in the day, you know?”

Josh looked at Louis, then shrugged. “Never really got into… what was it called, again? Dimension?”

“Dominion,” Harry corrected, his eyes on his snow boots.

“Right.”

Louis wasn’t sure if they were all just coming down from the high of a late night, but he couldn’t help but feel like that wasn’t the only reason that the mood had sunk considerably. He knew he couldn’t fully process what was unfolding in front of him now, though; he was dead on his feet, and needed nothing more than to make it home in one piece and sleep through until late afternoon. 

Apparently Josh was ready to leave too.

“We should go babe,” he said, reaching his hand out to Harry. “Our sleep routine is always totally fucked after these nights.”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed, accepting Josh’s hand before turning back to Niall and Louis. “See you Monday?” he said.

Niall bolted forward, planting a sloppy kiss on Harry’s cheek as he hollered out a goodbye. Harry’s eyes stayed fixed on Louis, though. Too tired to move, too tired to think, Louis mouthed the word bye, Harry nodding in response before he allowed Josh to lead him away. 

Louis made it through the front door of his house in forty-five minutes flat, a record since the LA traffic was wonderfully non-existent in the wee hours of a Saturday morning. He collapsed into his bed, a moment he’d been anxiously awaiting as the hours had ticked on during the shoot. He’d pictured himself falling into a blissful sleep, only waking in hunger hours later as the sun began its descent in the sky. But five in the morning turned into six as he stared at his ceiling, his thoughts as jumbled as his muscles as he tossed and turned against the mattress.

He groaned in frustration, moving to the couch by seven, as sleep continued to elude him.

“Fucking night shoots,” he moaned. It’s just the night shoot, he reasoned. 

--

“So weird to leave the set before you,” Harry said. He was already in his street clothes, a messenger bag thrown over one shoulder and a pair of bug-eyed white sunglasses perched on his head.

“Most people would die at the chance to leave work early,” Louis answered. He knew exactly what he would do if he found himself with a Wednesday afternoon free from the set: pizza delivery paired with a Netflix binge-watch. So, basically his nightly routine, just moved up by a few hours. 

“I know, I know. It’s just, well you know. This movie is my baby.” 

“Then consider me your babysitter,” Louis said, frowning when Harry’s returning glance was unimpressed. “Don’t you dare say I’d be a terrible babysitter. You’ve heard about my flock of younger siblings. I can take care of your precious film while you hit the town, or whatever.”

“Okay,” Harry pouted. He was clearly planning to linger on the set until forced to leave.

“What is your plan for the afternoon, anyway?” Louis asked. “Going to hang out with Josh?”

He regretted the question as soon as it left his lips.

Apparently, Harry’s boyfriend was a taboo topic between the two of them. Not that Louis had been privy to that information. He found it strange that Harry hadn’t thought to mention him, a fact he’d brought up early into Monday’s shoot.

Harry had just shrugged under Louis’ line of questioning. “It hadn’t come up,” he’d said, which was a ridiculous excuse if Louis had ever heard one. “And besides, what does it matter?”

“It would just be nice to know if the person you’re pretending to fall for has an actual, real life boyfriend, no?” Louis had retorted. “Wouldn’t it be weird if I had a partner I hadn’t mentioned?”

“Do you?” Harry’s response was rapid-fire fast.

“Well, no.” It was actually a bit of a sore spot for Louis. He’d been single for a while, and the few dates he’d allowed himself in the years prior had tended to end in disaster. He was famous enough that perusing dating apps felt sketchy, but not so famous to be a part of the celebrity dating circle. Not that he wanted to date a celebrity, anyway. He’d had his time sampling that somewhat-incestuous dating pool when Dominion was at its popularity peak. 

His sisters liked to remind him there was also the fact that one actually had to leave their home in order to meet people. This sounded ridiculous and he told them so every chance he got. He was in no way ashamed of his status as a semi-hermit. Except for, yes, his homebody lifestyle didn’t exactly lend itself to finding a soulmate. If that was even a thing.

So, Louis was single, and Harry had Josh, but apparently that was not something they were going to talk about. At least the forbidden topic was effective in sending Harry on his way, once he mumbled out something about Josh being at work. 

With Harry gone, Louis allowed his attention to shift to shooting the scene he’d been anticipating since day one.

Today, Sam was meeting Santa Claus.

Louis had always loved Santa. He’d believed in the magic as a kid without question, until an asshole child in third grade had ruined it for him. Luckily for him, Christmas had almost become even more special after that, as his wise mom had designated him the family’s “Santa Helper.” She let him stay up late each Christmas Eve, eating a chocolate Santa while stuffing his siblings’ stockings. Some years, she even let him peruse the presents that would be waiting for him Christmas morning, giving him the opportunity to flex his acting chops when he feigned surprise the next day. His sisters and brother had been none the wiser for years. 

Sam’s visit with Santa would also be a turning point in the film. While he still contended that every fiber of Sam’s fictional being had been ridiculously obnoxious at the start, he was willing to admit (to himself and himself only) that Harry had been right; as the film progressed, the character of Sam was growing on him. 

“Hey man,” Niall said. “They really made sure you were dressed to impress for today, huh?”

“Ugh,” Louis said. He was back in his business outfit, the black boots and dress pants from hell. The only difference was the red scarf adorned with white reindeers wrapped around his neck. Even with the chilled air coursing through the soundstage, the mound of fleece tickling his chin still felt stifling. “A gift from Harry. I mean, Forrest. Yesterday’s scene.”

“Looks like a gift Harry would get someone, too,” Niall said, referencing Louis’ slip. “Somehow he always manages to play himself in these things, I swear.”

“Oh?”

“Loves baking? Check. Full of Christmas spirit? Definite yes. Obsessed with Louis Tomlinson? Um, yeah.”

Louis snorted. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, as a teenager at least,” Niall corrected. “Probably wasn’t supposed to tell you this, but you were totally his celebrity crush back in the day.”

“He told you this?” Louis asked. 

Niall shrugged. “In as many words.” 

“Hmm.” For someone who supposedly had a crush on him, Harry certainly had put him through the ringer. 

“Must be awkward,” Louis mused aloud. “Co-starring with your childhood crush, then getting picked up from set by your actual boyfriend.”

“Oh, Josh? I’m sure he gets it. We all crush on other people, you know? Relationships or not. Who is your celebrity crush, Louis?”

“Uhh…” The word crush was zig-zagging around in his brain, spoken one too many times, but he was still drawing a complete blank. Did he even have one?

“Adriana Lima is mine,” Niall said. “The supermodel, you know. Have you seen her?”

“Uh, yeah. Sure. She’s pretty.”

“More than pretty, man.”

“What do you know about Harry and Josh?” The question was out before Louis could stop it, but Niall's reaction was nothing but amicable. 

“Um… let’s see. They knew each other when Harry went to UCLA. Lost touch when he dropped out, but reconnected a couple of years back? I think Josh slid into his DMs.”

“Classy.” 

“He’s a good enough guy,” Niall added. “Thinks all of this is cheesy as shit,” he said, gesturing at the set. “But, you know.”

“It’s not that cheesy,” Louis said defensively. It took a moment for his own words to sink in. A few weeks ago, such a statement would have been the last thing to leave his lips. But now? Knowing that Josh found all of this gimmicky? He was ready to defend Harry’s honor. Or… HeartStamp’s honor.

He wasn’t even sure of his own intentions at this point, his brain a jumble as the result of Niall’s oversharing. Boyfriend. Co-star. Celebrity crush.

Niall cleared the set as Liam approached for his pep-talk. Louis forced himself to put all of his thoughts aside. It was time to sell Sam.

“Well, hello there!” Santa says, a characteristic twinkle to his eyes. 

“Um, hello.” Sam shifts between his right foot and his left. He feels a bit foolish for making his way over to Santa once the children at the community center clear out, while Forrest is busy packing up the bakery van. But, here he is.

“Don’t be shy,” Santa says, motioning to the chair at his side. “Come on up.”

Sam approaches reluctantly, but he’s sitting in the chair before he can convince himself to walk away.

“Do you have a Christmas wish you hoped to share?” Santa asks, his tone as jolly as Sam has ever imagined it to be.

“I’m not sure,” Sam admits, staring at his hands in his lap. “I, uh… I’ve actually never done this before?”

“Never done what?” Santa asks, regarding Sam through his spectacles.

Sam feels awkward, and foolish, but he can’t help but carry on. “My father,” he says, then pauses. “He felt I didn’t have time to believe in made-up things like Santa.”

Santa’s frown is pronounced as he regards Sam. “What is your name, young man?”

“Sam. Sam Winters.”

“Well, Sam,” Santa says, “I’m sorry to hear I may have missed a few years of delivering Christmas wishes down your chimney. But the good news is, you’re here now. And it’s never too late to start believing.”

“That’s what I keep hearing,” Sam says. “But I’m not sure my wish will ever come true.”

“You’ll never know unless you ask.” 

Sam clears his throat. “My wish… is to be happy.”

Santa chuckles, and Sam looks up, surprised. Santa begins to speak. “I think that request sounds quite reasonable.”

Santa lifts his gloved hands from his armrests then and places them on Sam’s, patting them gently a few times. The music swells as a spark of Christmas magic transfers from Santa to Sam. Only Santa knows what he’s done.

“Now then,” Santa says. “I believe another young man is looking for you. A Forrest, perhaps?” 

Sam’s eyes widen. “How did you know?” 

Santa merely smiles. “Merry Christmas, Sam Winters.”

“Cut! We’ll take five to reset for some close ups,” Liam said. “Louis, Klaus, nice work.”

Louis’ co-actor was smiling at him gently. The man’s name was legitimately Klaus, and he put any mall Santa Louis had ever encountered to shame. His full white beard was an entity on its own, and between the rosy red cheeks the makeup artists had crafted paired with quite possibly the most luxurious Santa suit in existence, Louis had half a mind to call his mom so she could bring his youngest siblings down to experience the real deal.

“Have you been doing this long?” Louis asked, making conversation as props were adjusted around them. 

Klaus nodded. “This is my fifteenth year with HeartStamp, actually,” he said. “Happy anniversary to me!” His tone was just as jolly as it had been while they filmed. Louis couldn’t tell if he was attempting to stay in character or if this was just truly who he was.

“That’s amazing,” Louis said. “They’re lucky to have you.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Klaus said with a chuckle. “Everyone here is so kind. It’s like a family.”

“You’re not the first person to say that,” Louis mused.

“Well then, Louis,” Klaus said, brushing his hands against his plush red pants. “Looks like we’ve still got a few minutes. Any Christmas wishes you’d like to share?”

The question caught Louis off guard. “My own, you mean?” Klaus nodded. “I’m not sure I’ve thought about it, really. It’s still just July.”

“Niall wished for beer, if that helps,” Klaus whispered.

Louis smirked. “Niall told you his Christmas wish?”

“Not just Niall. Let’s see… Liam wished for some exercise bike. Pelly… something? Couldn’t tell you. And Sandra from set design is trying to convince her husband to adopt a third cat…”

“What about Harry?”

Klaus’ smile softened. “Ah, Harry. He’s a special one. Doesn’t tend to wish for material things.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, I believe last year he wished for clarity.”

“And this year?” Louis asked, surprised by the nerves pooling in his stomach.

“Peace,” Klaus said reverently. “Harry wished for peace.”

“Huh.”

Klaus was silent at his side as Louis pondered what he could possibly wish for. He had everything he needed, really: his health, his family, a roof over his head. The pieces of his life had nicely slotted into place. Well, except…

“Okay!” Liam’s ever-exuberant voice dragged Louis from his thoughts. “Ready to run it again with some closeups?”

Louis swallowed his wish and agreed with a nod. It would have been foolish, after all, to divulge to Klaus the realization that had struck him over the past few weeks.

What Louis really wanted, despite how long he’d effectively pushed it away, was companionship.

He sighed as he positioned himself into place.

It’s not like sharing this newfound longing with a stranger would have gotten him anywhere anyway. 

--

“All right! Is this thing on?” The shrill shriek of the microphone affirmed that it was, in fact, on. Louis brought his fingers to his ears, giggling as half of the cast and crew around him did the same.

“Sorry,” Liam said, pulling it away from his lips slightly. “Okay, last night of shooting!” he said excitedly. A series of whoops and cheers rose up from the crowd. Louis smiled as Niall threw an arm over his shoulder, then he joined in with his own cheer. 

“Oi oi!”

Harry stood at his side, and when Louis turned to smile at him, he was surprised to find Harry wasn’t engaged in the reverie. Far from it, in fact; his face was stoic, his body tense. 

Louis looked back to Niall, the question on his lips evident apparently. Niall leaned into his ear to offer a whispered explanation. “Harry gets emotional on wrap day. And then gets mad at himself for getting emotional. Basically he’ll just be crabby the whole time.”

“Wonderful,” Louis mouthed. Niall just shrugged.

This was it - the last day of filming. There were days Louis had thought he wasn’t going to make it to the end. So many moments when the thought of walking off set without a glance back had crossed his mind, regardless of the headache that would have created for Zayn. Not to mention the kiss of death that would have been to his chance at a comeback career.

But as the days had gone on, at times dragged on, Louis had come to realize what he’d heard countless times: HeartStamp was, truly, a family. It was a slightly dysfunctional one, but what family wasn’t, really? The crew members were definitely the kind aunts and uncles on the HeartStamp family tree. They had welcomed him in, never making him feel like an outsider or newcomer. He’d spent his mornings giggling at Beth and Renee’s ridiculous musings during his brief time in hair and makeup. Hope with craft services had always made sure to tuck an everything bagel away for him, just in case he didn’t make it over to the breakfast spread before he had to be on the soundstage. Even Liam had invited Louis to one of his fifteen minute HIIT workouts before shooting had started one morning. It was an experience Louis declined to ever repeat, but Liam had promised to join him at the soccer fields one day after filming was through. 

If the crew members were like extended family, then Niall was basically a long-lost brother. They’d spent their days on set joking around each time the cameras stopped rolling… and sometimes while the cameras were still going, much to the disdain of Harry and Liam. If Louis’ phone pinged in a series of rapid-fire texts on the weekend, it was likely Niall, sending a pun or offering up a trio of potential bars they could hit up for a happy hour. His time on set may have been coming to an end, and Louis wasn’t sure a long-term career at HeartStamp was in his future, but he knew this wasn’t the end of his friendship with Niall.

And then there was Harry. He didn’t know how to capture the relationship that had unfolded between him and his co-star in a matter of four weeks. They’d started as enemies, or at least as antagonistic toward one another. Luckily, things had improved, and during their afternoon in Christmas Wonderland and the days that followed, Louis had felt a genuine friendship forming between them. That had stalled toward the end, for reasons Louis still hadn’t quite put together, but at least they’d remained cordial. They were ending their working relationship on platonically professional terms, it seemed. 

Which, perhaps, was for the best.

At least, that was what Louis kept trying to convince himself.

He forced himself to focus as he realized Liam had started speaking again. He willed himself to turn off the deluge of thoughts in his brain, wanting nothing more than to be in the moment during his last night as Sam.  

“It’s beautiful out here,” Sam says, rubbing his hands together. He walks alongside Forrest, past the twinkling lights. They stop outside of the entrance to the town community center, where the Christmas Eve festival is in full swing. 

“It is,” Forrest agrees, taking Sam’s hands in his own. 

“Forrest,” Sam says. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

They look into one another’s eyes before Sam responds.

“For… for being you. For helping me see the magic of Christmas. I get it now, I really do.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. All this time, I’ve just wanted happiness. And now? I’ve found it with you.”

Forrest and Sam smile at one another as the camera slowly starts to pan in. Their faces move closer to one another, in slow motion, and then Forrest and Sam’s lips meet in a kiss.

“No, cut!”

Louis groaned, weaseling his hands from Harry’s grasp. “What’s wrong this time?” he asked. 

“It just…” Liam rubbed his hands over his eyes. “Harry… your eyes were open.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Harry said, his voice exasperated. “Let’s go again.”

“Actually, let’s take five,” Liam said. “I’m going to let the extras waiting inside know we need more time.” 

As if on cue, the space emptied, the cinematographers and production assistants all finding a reason to scurry away from the train wreck in motion on set.

Louis couldn’t help but wonder… since when was he so awful at kissing someone?

They’d shot the scene five times already. In that time, Harry and Louis had first managed to bump foreheads. Then they’d found themselves in some strange nose-wrestling situation as they tried to bring their lips together. Louis had fallen off balance as he’d popped onto his heels slightly to reach Harry’ lips, and Harry had completely missed Louis’ lips another time, a dry kiss awkwardly landing just under Louis’ nose. 

Louis was about to ask if they could scrap the cinematic movie kiss all together. He knew what the answer would be, of course. But still…

“I’m kind of freaking out.”

Louis looked up in shock as the words left Harry’s lips, the first thing he’d said to Louis all night outside of his scripted lines as Forrest.

“What do you mean?” Louis asked. 

Harry’s dry laugh was devoid of any trace of humor. “It’s stupid, right? I’ve done this before.”

“Kissed somebody? I would hope so.”

Harry looked at Louis, rolling his eyes. While he might have been annoyed, Louis also saw the tension in his shoulders relax slightly. Louis knew he didn’t truly mind being teased. “Kissed someone on set, obviously,” Harry said.

“Ah. Well, I haven’t.” 

“Really?”

“Nope. Jed was the one with the love interests in Dominion, which was fine by me. There was one movie in the series… ah, Dominion: New World I think, where I had to hold hands with a girl, though.”

“I remember that,” Harry said.

“Yeah, well. My palm was so fucking sweaty,” Louis chuckled at the memory. “I must have been like fourteen or fifteen and I was just about shitting my pants over it. Didn’t realize that women weren’t my thing at the time, clearly, but I made it through.”

Harry’s smile was slight, but it was there. Louis gave himself a mental pat on the back for talking him down. 

“This time just feels different, you know?” Harry said. “I, um… all of my other kisses on set have been with women.”

“Ah.” Louis probably could have surmised that was the reason for Harry’s inner turmoil. He had been trying not to think too much about it himself. If Louis allowed his thoughts to linger on the task at hand, it was like he could picture himself standing on a ledge with Harry, the delicate nature of their relationship balancing on the precipice of this kiss. Could they get through this scene together and move on as friends? Or would Harry Styles just become an acquaintance, the actor Louis starred alongside once and lost touch with after? 

Deep down, Louis knew that wasn’t what he wanted.

“Josh is upset about it,” Harry mumbled. 

A frisson of irritation coursed through Louis’ veins at Harry’s mention of his boyfriend, which quickly turned to anger as he fully processed Harry’s words.

“Oh, fuck Josh,” Louis said, Harry’s head snapping up in surprise.

“Seriously,” Louis continued. “This is your job. You are an actor.”

“I know.” 

“Harry.” Louis said. He waited until Harry’s eyes focused on his own before he continued. “This is your movie. The one you’ve campaigned for, and fought for. You’ve poured your heart into this, and it’s going to end like it’s supposed to, with a perfect movie kiss. So set aside whatever people are saying to you, turn off the noise in your head, and just let me fucking kiss you. Okay?”

Harry was silent, his eyes still fixed on Louis as Liam and the crew made a timely return to the set. 

“Ready to go again?” Liam asked. Louis just nodded, not taking his focus from Harry.

“Are you ready?” Louis said, his voice hardly a whisper. Harry inhaled deeply, blinking his eyes a few times in quick succession before nodding.

“Okay,” Louis said, willing the nerves in his chest to settle. He was going to make this happen. 

“And now?” Sam says. “I found it with you.” 

Sam and Forrest look into each other’s eyes. There’s a brief pause before Sam moves forward, capturing Forrest’s lips in a kiss. The scene fades to black.

Harry’s lips were warm, somehow, and soft. Those were the first things Louis noticed as he took the lead, bringing their lips together in a picture-perfect movie kiss. The next thing he noticed was a tingling sensation, followed by a taste of peppermint. Had Harry sucked on a candy cane, or applied minty chapstick, in preparation for their Christmas-themed encounter? Louis made a mental note to ask him later. It seemed like just the type of thing Harry would do. 

Louis may have started the kiss, but it was Harry who deepened it. He brought a hand to the small of Louis’ back, pulling him in closer, his lips moving rhythmically against Louis’ own. Louis felt Harry’s tongue against his lips, an implied question. He allowed his mouth to open without a second thought, holding back a moan as Harry’s tongue explored nerve endings that Louis had forgotten existed.

Movie kiss or not, it had been a long time.

Louis brought his hands to the nape of Harry’s neck, running his fingers through the short hair he encountered. He refused to come up for air as the kiss grew somehow deeper, their chests pressed together now. 

“You guys!” 

Louis nearly jumped out of his skin as he felt a sharp poke against his forearm. His lips lost their contact on Harry’s without warning, and as he recovered from his stupor, he realized Liam was standing right there, staring at them both, unimpressed.

“Did you not hear me call cut?” he asked, looking from Louis to Harry. Neither of them responded right away.

“Well, we got what we needed,” Liam muttered. “And then some. Jesus.”

It was Harry who descended back to reality first, clearing his throat brusquely. “We’re good to move on?” he confirmed, Liam nodding. “Okay.”

The crew began their move indoors, where the extras waited to shoot the final scene of the film.

Louis looked to Harry, wishing this would be the one time he could read whatever thoughts were coursing through his co-star’s consciousness. “You good?” he asked.

Harry’s responding smile was polite. “Yeah,” he said. “I’m good. You?”

“I’m good,” Louis echoed. Harry nodded curtly, then turned toward the door leading to their final set. He waited to start walking until Louis took his first step, and they crossed the short distance together. Their voices may have been silent, but the noise in Louis’ brain was relentless.

Louis felt… he didn’t even know. He was exhilarated, for starters. But that top of the world feeling was paradoxically paired with a deep sense of confusion. He knew he would spend the next several days overanalyzing what the kiss for their family-friendly film had dissolved into, and what it could mean. He’d ruminate over whether Harry’s thoughts in any way aligned with his own. But for now, they would shoot their final scene of The Bakery Boyfriend. An existential crisis could wait. It would have to. 

“Oh. Wow.” The final set was dazzling. As Harry opened the door, Louis’ breath was nearly taken away. He took in the twinkling lights cascading from the ceiling, the extras on the dance floor in full holiday garb, and the table of prop food including a Christmas-red punch bowl.

The distraction of it all was quite welcome.

“Look,” Harry said, motioning toward the artificial Christmas tree off to one side. He led Louis there wordlessly before seeming to appraise the tree. It took Louis a moment to remember.

“Oh, here,” Louis said, pointing to the snowflake ornament they had selected together. “Wow.” It was gorgeous in the soft light of the room, its rainbow prism effect on full display. 

“Yeah,” Harry said. “They shot a close up of it earlier. It’ll definitely make it into the film.”

For all the set up involved, the final scene was brief. A montage of shots with the extras enjoying the festivities had been captured earlier in the day, so Harry and Louis only needed to participate in a few scenes. They clinked glasses together with Niall, Louis spun a young girl around on the dance floor, and they sat at a table, their arms around one another as they spoke animatedly with the other partygoers. They ended by regarding each other with bright smiles as they said “Merry Christmas” in unison. And that was that. The end credits would roll, and the movie would be complete. 

Once Liam called cut, Harry immediately stood from the table and headed his way. He accepted Liam’s fist-bump as he approached, then together they turned toward the group, smiling widely as they yelled in unison. “That’s a wrap!”

Everyone cheered again, and this time hugs were exchanged. Louis stood from his chair, accepting congratulations from extras and crew members and a surprise kiss on the cheek from Niall. 

He looked across the room, and despite the dozens of people separating them, he immediately locked eyes with his co-star. He smiled at Harry, knowing the gesture wouldn’t even come close to capturing everything he was desperate to convey.

Harry’s responding nod was gentle, sincere, and Louis knew. They had done it. They had brought Harry’s vision to life, together. Louis felt a swell of pride in his chest he hadn’t expected, accompanied by an even larger sense of sadness that caught him by surprise. 

It was a wrap.

--

“Okay, Mr. Big Shot.” 

“Shut it,” Louis said.

“No, seriously,” Lottie said. “This is something else.”

Louis had to admit, the wrap party thrown by HeartStamp really was quite impressive. They’d rented out the planetarium, and Lottie had audibly gasped when the elevator doors had opened on the third floor, revealing a sprawling, meticulously decorated ballroom.

Of course the wrap party was Christmas themed as well, with a black tie dress code. Louis luckily had a tux he wore to charity galas, but Lottie had talked him into buying her a dress for the occasion before she agreed to join him as his plus one.

He didn’t even want to know what the beaded red ball gown had cost him. 

“There’s so many people here,” Lottie said, looping her arm through Louis’ as they walked into the space.

“It takes a lot of people to make a movie.” A seating chart was displayed on a stand at the entrance and Louis scoured it quickly in search of his name. “Table three,” he said finally. “Let’s get settled, yeah?”

Louis smiled and nodded to the people he passed as they made their way to the table. It was marked by an elegant placard emerging from a miniature Christmas tree centerpiece. 

“How do they even get tiny Christmas trees in July?” Lottie asked.

“That… is a really great question.” During his month at HeartStamp, he’d at times forgotten it wasn’t actually December, constantly deceived by the plethora of Christmas decor and goodies awaiting him at every turn. Tonight’s celebration was, apparently, no exception.

“Louis!” 

Louis grunted as Niall enveloped him in a tackle-hug hybrid, his grasp relentless as he swayed him from side to side.

“Missed you, man,” Niall said.

“It’s been a day, Niall.” Louis said playfully as he pulled away. “Want you to meet my sister.” He motioned toward Lottie, who stood a foot away from their display, a look of pure amusement playing across her face. “Lottie, this is Niall.” 

“Nice to meet you,” Lottie said, giggling when Niall pulled her into a hug as well. “Louis talks about you a lot.”

“Is that right?” Niall said, wiggling his eyebrows in Louis’ direction.

“Complaints, mostly,” Louis said. “Thorn in my side, won’t leave me alone. You know.”

“You love me, Lou,” Niall said, before turning to Lottie. “He loves me. Anyway, come visit me at table six later, yeah? We’re totally the party table!”

He was off as quickly as he appeared, and Louis couldn’t help but chuckle as he and Lottie continued their way to their assigned seats.

“So, that’s Niall.”

“I can see why you like him,” Lottie said. “So… where’s Harry?”

Louis shrugged. 

While Niall was ever-present, Harry had become more of a ghost during their last week on set, even on the final night. Louis had actively searched for him as the set had cleared, ready to formally congratulate him on all that he had accomplished, but he’d just been… gone. 

“Oh, there he is!” Lottie said excitedly. Apparently she’d known Harry from his daytime soap opera era, and when Louis was cast as his co-star, Lottie had quickly binge-watched all of Harry’s HeartStamp films. 

And there he was indeed, seated at the pristinely labeled table three. It made sense, Louis supposed, to be seated together as co-stars. Louis held back his eye roll when he caught sight of Josh at Harry’s side… but again, what had he expected? Louis was about to embark on a magical night with his co-star and co-star’s boyfriend, the dynamic duo already seemingly in a heated conversation with each other if Louis’ ability to read body language was up to par. 

Super.

“Louis, you made it!” Liam saved the day, rising from his seat at their table. He gave Louis a firm handshake, and by the time Louis had introduced Lottie and they’d exchanged pleasantries with Liam’s date, Harry and Josh seemed to have settled whatever drama existed between the two of them. They certainly didn’t look happy, but at least they weren’t obviously engaged in an argument for the moment. 

“Your seats are here,” Josh said, pointing to Harry’s side. 

“Hello to you too, Josh,” Louis mumbled under his breath. He forced himself to smile as he rounded the table. Sure enough, a placard reading Louis Tomlinson was on clear display next to Harry.

“Hi Harry,” Louis said gently, pulling out Lottie’s chair before his own. Truly, he was happy to see him.

That was the confusing thing. He’d come to enjoy spending time with Harry, even if he never knew what he was going to get. Perfectionistic Harry, playful Harry. Brooding Harry, grumpy Harry. Elusive Harry. 

“Hey,” Harry said quietly.

“This is some party,” Louis mused, earning himself a soft smile.

“Yeah, they really are. Hello,” Harry said, looking past Louis.

“Oh, sorry. Harry, this is my sister, Lottie.”

“The Leo?” Harry asked. Louis scrunched his nose for a moment, before he remembered the ornament he’d selected at Christmas Wonderland.

“Huh?” Lottie asked, clearly amused. 

“Harry’s trying to spoil something I bought you for Christmas,” Louis said, Harry’s eyes growing wide as he realized his gaffe. 

“You already bought me a Christmas gift? Like you’ll remember where you stashed it come December.”

Lottie’s diss elicited a laugh from Harry, and while Louis could have taken offense, he literally felt the tension at their table clearing as Lottie and Harry giggled at his expense.

“Did you know that Louis is a Christmas Eve baby?” Lottie asked.

“I did know that,” Harry replied.

Louis eyed him. “We haven’t talked about birthdays.”

Harry shrugged. “And yet again, I’ve done my research.”

“I don’t know your birthday,” Louis said, frowning. He hadn’t dug that deep.

“February first.”

“Ooo,” Lottie said. “An Aquarius.”

“In the flesh,” Harry agreed.

“This all means nothing to me.” 

“Says the Capricorn,” Harry said, winking at Lottie.

Their quickly flowing conversation had almost been enough for Louis to forget that Josh was there, but he made his presence known as he abruptly stood from the table. “I’m going to the bar,” Josh announced to no one in particular, before sulking away from the space.

Good riddance, Louis thought. 

Lottie and Harry continued chatting away in Josh’s absence. Louis wondered if they would even notice if he disappeared as well, despite the fact that he was seated right between them. His sister and his co-star were becoming fast friends, apparently. Maybe their astrological signs were more compatible than Louis’. It’s not like he would know.

“Louis, I love him,” Lottie said as they made their way to the buffet table.

“He’s all right, yeah,” Louis said, passing her a plate. 

Lottie scoffed. “A glowing review,” she said. “What is it with you two, anyway? You were being awkward.”

“Was not.”

“Mm-hmm,” Lottie pursed her lips, clearly unconvinced. Luckily the gourmet spread distracted her, if only momentarily. Louis knew this wouldn’t be the last of Lottie’s prodding.

The HeartStampers knew how to party, it turned out. There was an open bar, the dinner was next level, and there were impressively well over a dozen people on the dance floor at all times. Susan, the lead prop designer in her sixties, had even led a conga line through the space while Louis and Lottie sampled bites of each other’s desserts at table three. 

“Hello lovers!” Niall said as he slinked over to their table. “How are my favorite people? Thought I’d ask if Lottie would give me the pleasure of a dance.” 

“Sure,” Lottie answered brightly, taking his outstretched hand as she stood. She looked to Louis, rolling her eyes when she caught his expression. “Don’t be a sourpuss,” she said.

“Remember she’s my sister, Niall,” he said. “My younger sister.”

“Noted!” Niall, as ever, was unbothered. “Haven’t seen you and Harry dancing yet,” he said.

“I’m good here,” Louis said, not bothering to look Harry’s way. “The dance floor can’t handle my moves.”

Harry cleared his throat. “It is tradition.”

“What is?” Louis asked. Another HeartStamp tradition he wasn’t privy to. 

“For the co-stars to dance together at the wrap party,” Niall supplied, ever so helpful.

“Oh.” Louis looked at Harry, trying to decide the right move. He was half expecting Harry to draw back at the thought of touching him, but also knew that Harry wasn’t one to skip out on something expected of him. “Well,” Louis said finally. “We can’t buck a HeartStamp tradition.” 

Harry nodded. ”Guess we should.” He spared a glance toward Josh’s empty seat before standing, then led the way to the dance floor.

Harry stopped at the edge of the space, as soon as his feet had transitioned from carpet to the makeshift parquet flooring. He clearly wasn’t planning on being the life of the party from this spot. Louis paused alongside him, standing quietly, as he waited for Harry to make the first move.

Harry was tentative. His arms moved slowly, as if second-guessing himself, before he gently placed them on Louis’ shoulders.

“The middle school move,” Louis joked, bringing his hands to Harry’s waist. “Feels like I’m twelve again.”

“It’s this or nothing,” Harry said.

“Could sweep you around the dance floor like Cinderella,” Louis offered. Harry shook his head quickly.

“So…” Louis racked his brain for anything he could say that would elicit even the slightest hint of happiness across Harry’s face. “I guess grinding’s out then?”

“Louis.” Harry spoke his name as if it were a plea.

“You’re too repulsed by me,” Louis said. “I get it.”

“Louis,” Harry said again. “Just please stop talking.”

“Okay, okay,” Louis said, trying not to take offense. He thought about commenting that it was virtually impossible for him to do so, but it was evident that any attempts at sarcasm were not going to pull Harry out of tonight’s funk.

So, he stopped talking. He focused on the weight of Harry’s arms on his shoulders, the way Harry’s clasped hands brushed against his neck as they moved back and forth. He focused on how their bodies swayed in step without any forethought or planning necessary.

He focused on the song blasting through the sound system.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

But the very next day, you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

He tried not to focus on all the things he wanted to say. On how if he started talking again, he might not stop. He had so many questions he wanted to spew at Harry in rapid succession, so many unknowns he felt desperate to clear up. Not knowing what Harry was thinking had evoked a constant thrum of worry in his mind. 

But Louis had agreed to stay silent, so he did. He touched Harry’s waist, the small of his back, their sway slowing to a still as the song continued on. He tried not to wonder if this would be his last moment of having Harry in this way. He tried not to dwell on the fear that he wouldn’t even have the chance to put his thoughts out into the open. That this dance, this party would come to its inevitable end, along with his chance to become something more than Harry’s former co-star. 

Louis didn’t speak, because he’d said he wouldn’t, but his mind was practically screaming. 

All too quickly, “Last Christmas” transitioned to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s version of “Carol of the Bells,” and the sharp zing of the instruments surged them apart, Harry’s hands the ones to fall first.

“Thank you for the dance,” Harry said softly. 

“Dance with us, man!” Niall grabbed Louis’ arm and pulled him toward a dance circle that had formed out of nowhere. 

By the time Louis looked back, Harry was, predictably, gone.

Louis was sweaty and energized when he made it off the dance floor following a raucous rendition of “Feliz Navidad” paired with a double-shot of tequila Niall had conjured up from nowhere. He downed his glass of water at the now-empty table three before heading off in search of the restrooms.

His phone buzzed in his pocket as he dried his hands off on a plush towel, and Louis managed to pull it out just in time to answer.

“Hi pookie!” he said. 

“Someone’s tipsy,” Zayn drawled over the line.

“Busted,” Louis giggled. “You just calling to check up on me?”

“Calling to see if you were having a good time, I guess. Sorry I couldn’t make it in from the Big Apple.”

Louis had asked Zayn to be his plus one, but Zayn had begged off by throwing around terms such as “business meeting” and “new client” until Louis had given him the out and said he’d ask Lottie instead.

“I’m sure you’re devastated to be missing it,” Louis said. “You’re probably lying in your bed right now.”

“Yup,” Zayn said, the yawn evident in his voice. “In my defense, it’s nearly two over here.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis said, assessing his complexion in the ornate mirror over the sink as he heard the restroom door swing open. “Well, your star client is having a fabulous time at his first wrap party in over a decade,” he said, running his fingers through his hair as he encouraged it back into place. The pomade Lottie had applied was long gone at this point.

He froze as Harry appeared in the mirror behind him. The way he stared at Louis through the glass evoked a shiver down Louis’ spine. Harry’s gaze was intense, his lips parted, and Louis had half a mind to ask him who had died given the severity of the wrecked expression coursing across his features.

“Louis?” 

Louis was unsure how many times Zayn had tried to call his name over the phone. “Uh, I’ve gotta go,” he said quickly, ending the call and setting his phone on the counter. 

“Are you okay?” he said, still staring at Harry through the mirror. When Harry didn’t respond, Louis allowed himself to turn slowly, until they were standing face to face, Harry’s breath heavy between them.

“Harry.” Louis said, firmly this time. “What’s the matter?”

The whine that came from Harry’s mouth caught him by surprise, and it took Louis a moment to realize that what he had interpreted as upset was perhaps instead desperation.

Harry clarified that quickly when he surged forward, his lips finding Louis’ as if a long-practiced motion this time.

“Oh,” Louis mumbled without volition. The sound caught against Harry’s lips paralleled his body, trapped between the hard porcelain counter and Harry’s soft torso. And then Harry brought his hand around to the back of Louis’ head, cradling it as he controlled the choreography of their mouths, and Louis gave in without further question.

They kissed there for… seconds? Minutes? Louis couldn’t be sure. All he knew was that he wasn’t going to do anything to pull Harry from whatever trance had taken over him to bring them to this moment. He accepted Harry’s kiss greedily, relished in Harry’s moans reverberating against his own skin. He grasped the small of Harry’s back with his hands, as if holding on for dear life. And he was. He realized he might do anything to keep this from ending.

Their kiss was electric, but the jolt of energy that tore them apart at the sound of the bathroom door opening was even more powerful. Harry jumped back a solid foot, his eyes wild as he ran his hand over his lips, then through his hair. His eyes jumped from the door to the stalls, to the mirror, to the floor. And finally to Louis.

“Oh, God,” he said, his voice quivering. “Shit.”

“It’s okay,” Louis said, reaching toward him.

Harry recoiled as if Louis was acid. Which, oh. 

“Fuck,” Harry said. “Shit!” He balled his hands into fists at his sides, the tears pooling in his wide eyes evident. “I… God, Louis. I can’t do this. I have… I have to go.”

“What?” Louis said, confusion muddling his brain as Harry began to step away. “Wait! Harry!”

Harry turned back only briefly, a single tear streaming down his cheek. “I’m sorry,” he said, and then he turned away, his steps quickening until he pushed through the bathroom door, leaving it swinging wildly back and forth in his wake.

Louis was frozen in place, stunned. His lips were chapped from their kiss, his breathing still heavy. His body was still warm from where Harry had been pressed up against him. The hair was still standing up on the back of his neck.

But Harry… was gone.

He turned back toward the mirror, assessing his features. For a moment, he tried to convince himself that what had just happened was purely fantasy, but the flush on his cheeks and the redness of his mouth couldn’t lie.

Harry had kissed him. 

And then he’d left.

“Fucker,” Louis said as he turned on the tap, ensuring the water was ice cold before he splashed it on his face. It seized his muscles momentarily, but not long enough to ease the burn. He felt his eyes welling up, and before he could stop them, hot tears began to fall from his own eyes.

“Goddamnit,” he muttered. He grabbed his phone, his vision blurred as the tears fell readily.

Meet me at the exit, he texted Lottie hastily. We’re leaving.

He was done. Done with this party. Done with HeartStamp. 

And done with Harry Styles.

--

NOVEMBER

“It snowed just for you, boo.”

“Blech.” Louis attempted to shove his hands further into his coat pockets, as if that would somehow provide instant warmth to his entire body. It didn’t. “Seventy-five,” he said. “It was seventy-five glorious degrees when I flew out of LA, Zayn. This is just straight up torture.”

“A little bit of winter is good for the soul,” Zayn said. “And who doesn’t love visiting NYC around the holidays? Come on, you seriously aren’t even the tiniest bit excited?”

“Bah humbug.” Louis was jet-lagged, and cold, and dreading the day ahead. “Since when do you care about Christmas in New York, anyway? Nice try, Scrooge.” 

Zayn laughed, clearly amused, then brought his hand to Louis’ snow-dampened hair, mucking up what was left of his hairstyle as he ran his fingers back and forth. “It’s good to see you, man,” he said.

“God, I know. It’s been months.” His mini-reunion with Zayn would be the one bright spot of this trip, and he was trying desperately to keep that in focus. What was coming was inevitable but for now, he and Zayn were in the backseat of a black sedan, driving through the city streets the week after Thanksgiving. 

“Been awhile since you’ve done movie promo,” Zayn said, and just like that, Louis’ thoughts were back on The Bakery Boyfriend. 

“Thanks for reminding me,” he moaned. 

Of course, his last promotional tour had been for Dominion, and the entire experience had been a blast. Alongside his castmates, he’d attended Comic Con, traveled to Latin America and Europe, and been slimed at the annual Nickelodeon awards show. Maybe it was just a product of his young age and general zest for life at the time, but even the interviews and red carpet premieres had felt invigorating back then. 

It turned out promoting a HeartStamp Christmas movie was a bit less involved, not that he minded. Instead of weeks of travel and movie talk, they’d flown him out to New York for an overnight stay and a single day’s work. He’d spend the morning completing a repetitive stint of mundane fifteen minute interviews from HeartStamp’s east coast office building. At least once that part was over, he’d get to stretch his legs for the second half of the day, when a cinematographer from the film crew would follow them around to hit up ice skating and a charity event, followed by the Christmas tree lighting at Rockefeller Center. 

Just thinking about the day’s events had Louis preemptively exhausted. 

“Oh, Louis,” Zayn said as he scanned through his phone, no doubt trying to stay on top of his emails. “Joy from HeartStamp mentioned they still need you to follow through with some of the social media engagement for the movie.”

Louis groaned. 

“I know, I know.”

Louis hardly used his Instagram account. Yes, he had the little blue checkmark, and a few million followers the last time he checked, but aside from posting the occasional selfie he didn’t see a need to document his life’s story on the platform.

Two weeks earlier, he’d woken up to a flutter of Instagram notifications on his phone. Confused, he’d opened the app, weeding through notifications before he saw it.

@harrystyles has tagged you in a post 

It took him longer than he’d ever admit to navigate his way to the Instagram post, and he couldn’t help but burst out laughing once the image finally appeared on his screen.

The first promotional photo for the film was one of the cheesiest pictures he’d ever seen. 

He remembered taking them now, during that first week from hell. He’d been in Sam’s dreaded business outfit, and they’d clothed Harry in full bakery gear, even applying white powder to his cheeks as if they were coated with flour. 

Harry stood facing the camera, pursing his mouth as if blowing a kiss. The glitter that was clearly Photoshopped in later, supposedly emerging from his lips, obscured part of the image. 

And then there was Louis, standing sideways in the frame, his face scrunched into a grimace as he scowled at Harry’s side. It was posed and predictable and made him look like a complete ass. Splendid. 

The tagline at the bottom of the poster was what really sent him into hysterics though. In scrawling white letters, the words “Let the magic begin” had coursed along their chests.

“Ridiculous,” he’d said aloud, tears of laughter pooling in his eyes as he’d laid in his bed that morning.

Then he’d read Harry’s caption, and his mood had quickly shifted at the absolute bullshit being spouted before his very eyes. 

So honored to have starred in this film alongside my new friend @louist91! Can’t wait for you all to see it.

If Harry was his so-called friend, then Louis was a bit confused about how friendships worked. The truth was, he hadn’t seen Harry since the wrap party. They hadn’t so much as exchanged a text message, or even a work-related email. Harry had kissed him, left him, and that had been that.

So if Louis hadn’t been fulfilling his role of acting fake-excited on Instagram, it could have been the fact that he had vehemently sworn off any and all Harry Styles related thoughts over the last four months. Or, at least, had tried to. Semi-successfully. 

“I could ask one of the assistants to do it, if you’d like,” Zayn said, still engrossed in the small screen of his iPhone. 

Louis actually considered the offer for a moment, but then he shook his head. If Harry was going to obscure the truth, then Louis’ posts about the movie were going to be as genuine as he could muster. “I can do it,” he mumbled, pulling his phone out of his coat pocket. He positioned himself in the window of the cab, and crossed his eyes before taking a selfie.

The Bakery Boyfriend promo day!!!!!! He captioned the picture, tagging his location and adding the temperature and a teeth chattering emoji before posting it to his stories.

“Approve?” Louis asked.

It took Zayn a moment to switch over to Instagram. “A good start,” he said. “I’ll ask Joy to resend you the promotional photo they want you to post, though.”

“Fine,” Louis sighed, growing antsy as the car ride stretched on. “Are we getting close?”

“Mm-hmm.” Zayn didn’t bother looking up. 

“And you’re staying the whole time?”

That caught Zayn’s attention, however brief, and he smirked at Louis as he looked up from his phone. “Is he really that awful?”

“Yes he is.”

Louis had never gone into specifics regarding his hatred for Harry Styles. He’d complained about him for sure, giving a laundry list of character traits that had made him the co-star from hell. As far as Zayn knew, Harry was inflexible, antagonistic, and a perfectionist in the worst way. He hadn’t trusted Louis’ intuition as an actor, and he had been an absolute control freak on set. 

Those were all good reasons to detest a person, and it had all been true, at least initially. But Louis had glossed over the fact that his reservations about seeing Harry now had nothing to do with the parts he’d shared with Zayn. It had everything to do with a moment he’d confessed to no one, a mistake he’d been trying to forget since that last day in July. 

So as the November promo day had crept up on the calendar, Louis had practically begged Zayn to clear his schedule, saying Harry was insufferable and he couldn’t imagine having to deal with him for the whole day alone. He was grateful that Zayn had eventually agreed to accompany him. At least now Louis would have a buffer there for the day.

But that small comfort didn’t change the fact that he was about to spend an entire day at Harry’s side, and he had no idea what to expect from his ever-fickle co-star. Was Harry going to act like Louis didn’t exist outside of their time on camera? Would he be cordial, or even worse friendly, playing it off as if nothing had transpired between the two of them? Louis couldn’t decide which scenario would make the day more painful. 

All too soon, the car pulled up alongside the curb. Zayn stepped out first, and Louis thanked the driver as he slid across the seat before emerging into the frozen tundra.

The temperature was in the thirties, or so Zayn kept telling him. And the November snow they’d received had really been nothing more than a dusting. But still.

“You ready?” Zayn asked, and Louis nodded, resolutely ignoring the sense of dread sitting heavily in his stomach.

They had timed their arrival well, despite the unpredictable nature of city traffic. Louis had just enough time to be quickly spruced up at hair and makeup before being led to the interview area, Zayn gratefully in tow. 

If he would have been paying attention, he might have noticed the large promotional photo displayed in a stand by their seats. He might have noticed the soft white Christmas lights strung up in the back, and the miniature Christmas tree styled tastefully off to the side. He may have appreciated the hard work someone had dedicated to making the interview appear cozy and Christmassy.

He would have seen all of those things, maybe, but all he could focus on was Harry. 

Harry was already sitting in the chair to the left, wearing a white button-up shirt and dark jeans. His hair had grown since the summer, enough so that it appeared he likely hadn’t had it cut since their shoot. A few pieces were set lazily against his forehead, long enough to skim his eyes were it not for the soft curl. 

Harry’s eyes caught his own immediately, and he regarded Louis with a gentle smile, the expression catching Louis off guard. He hadn’t thought that Harry would greet him with a sneer, but he also hadn’t expected Harry to look like he was happy to see him. 

It’s for the sake of the movie, he reminded himself. Of course Harry was going to play nice today. It would be hard for HeartStamp to promote a movie starring two actors who clearly couldn’t stand one another. 

Louis intended to be on his best behavior today, too. He would do these interviews and follow instructions during the afternoon’s events and then, unless there was a stipulation Zayn hadn’t mentioned, his HeartStamp contract would be considered fulfilled. Really, today was an opportunity to move on from what had lingered since July, and it would feel good to truly cut the ties. 

“So, we just need you over there.”

“Of course,” Louis said, his body tensing in surprise as the production assistant spoke behind him. He hoped he hadn’t been standing in place for more than a moment, but Zayn’s soft chuckle from a chair in the corner indicated otherwise.

Great.

He smiled quickly at Harry before claiming the seat at his side, holding still as a microphone was fed through his shirt.

“Hi, Louis,” Harry said, his voice low.

“Morning,” Louis replied.

“How have you been?” 

If a stranger on the street had asked him this question, Louis would have responded without a second thought. He may have said “Fine, thanks,” or “Doing all right, how about you?”. The pleasantries would have been exchanged and quickly forgotten, the question as routine as a greeting or goodbye.

But it was Harry who had the audacity to ask him how he had been. Harry, who had come on to him, confused him, then promptly ditched him. Harry, who hadn’t bothered reaching out to him once over the course of the last four months. 

Which was fine, because Louis had been just peachy. He definitely hadn’t spent days agonizing over what was wrong with him or lamenting over letting Harry get under his skin. He definitely hadn’t spent a night getting drunk with Niall, who was trying his best to play Switzerland when he didn’t even have the whole story. And he had not, in any way, shape, or form, blasted the hell out of the ten minute version of “All Too Well” as he had dramatically flung himself around his living room.

None of that had happened, because Louis had been fine. Or at least, that’s what he would have told Harry, had he felt like dignifying him with a response.

“Think we’re getting started,” he said instead, motioning toward the camera. 

The first interview was, to put it lightly, rough. Their back-and-forth with the interviewer from Extra TV was less of a conversation and more of a dilapidated rickshaw, effortfully jerking its way up a rocky hillside. At the start, Harry and Louis had both waited for the other to answer the interviewer’s questions first. When it became clear that approach was just leading to awkward pauses, then they had both tried to answer right out of the gate. After a split second of talking over one another, they would both apologize, then say “You go, you go,” and another extended silence would follow. 

Louis couldn’t wait to see how the Extra team would try to edit their way out of this shitshow. Not that he intended to actually watch any of these. 

And it’s not like Zayn cared, really. Zayn was his agent, not his publicist. Louis actually hadn’t had a publicist since his Dominion commitments had ended. It wasn’t like he’d needed someone to publicize his experience at college or his semi-retired lifestyle that had followed, and starring in a HeartStamp film also really hadn’t necessitated a team coming in to work on his image. These interviews, though, had the potential to be a career ender if he couldn’t talk about a simple movie without tripping over his co-star’s sentence fragments.

He took a breath as a new interviewer entered the room, willing himself to turn on the charm and get through it.

The interviews got better with time, he could tell. It helped that there were only so many questions that could be asked. Louis settled in to talking about his favorite holiday tradition (decorating the tree), his preferred hot chocolate toppings (mini marshmallows and whipped cream), and his favorite part of filming (the fake snow). His answers were equal parts safe and genuine, and easy to deliver with a smile. 

Harry had followed suit for the most part, reminiscing on Christmases spent sledding in Minnesota and his preference for peppermint syrup in his cocoa. Louis knew it was somewhat stilted, the way he and Harry didn’t comment on one another’s answers, forcing the interviewers to keep that back-and-forth going. But honestly? It was the most he could give to this morning, while still protecting himself. 

“Favorite Christmas song?” the Buzzfeed journalist asked.

“Uh… Jingle Bells,” Louis answered on the fly. He didn’t have a favorite Christmas song, really. 

“All I Want For Christmas Is You,” Harry said at Louis’ side, his tone serious. 

“Mariah Carey,” the journalist said. “Nice choice.”

“I like the message of the song.” 

Louis turned his head at that, eyeing Harry suspiciously. Harry was straight-faced, focused on the journalist seated in front of them. 

Louis wished he knew what Harry was getting at. He wished the day could just be over already so it wouldn’t matter.

“And one last question,” the journalist said. “What’s your Christmas wish?”

Louis looked to Harry. “You go first,” he said.

“Umm…” Harry stared at Louis, his gaze unwavering. “I’ll keep you posted.”

Louis avoided the urge to roll his eyes.

“And yours, Louis?”

Louis looked pointedly at the journalist. “You know, don’t know if I have one in particular this Christmas. I’ve got my family, my friends… what more do I need?”

They obliged the journalist’s request for a selfie and the interview portion of their day was over.

Halfway there.  

Louis stood up, walking toward Zayn as he fumbled to remove the microphone from under his striped sweater. 

“Hey,” he said. “Let’s get out of here.”

“I think they’re catering lunch, no? Before you have to head over to the ice rink?” 

“Fuck that,” Louis said under his breath. “Let’s go get something.”

Zayn shrugged, easily convinced. 

They had almost made it out the door, only to run into Harry clearly lingering in the hallway. 

“Hi,” Harry said, the picture of politeness as he stuck out his hand, introducing himself to Zayn with a firm handshake. “Louis has said so much about you.”

“Nice to meet you too, man,” Zayn said, and Louis knew he shouldn’t be annoyed, but something about Harry playing nice with Zayn left him with a sour taste in his mouth. 

“I thought we could walk over to the lunch room together?” Harry said, and Louis cut in with a response before Zayn turned their escape into more time with Harry. 

“Zayn and I have a reservation in town, actually,” Louis lied. “So… we’ll just meet you at our next location?”

“Oh,” Harry said, nodding. “Okay. I’ll see you there.” 

It took three minutes for a car to collect them from the curb, which exposed Louis to an entire one hundred and eighty seconds of full-on winter. He was never going to recover from this cold.

“I’m so sick of him,” Louis muttered as soon as the passenger door shut behind him.

“Harry? He seems perfectly nice.” 

“He’s playing it up for the cameras. “All I Want For Christmas Is You?” Seriously? He’s an ass.”

Zayn just shrugged, and for some reason it spurred Louis on. He had a point, and he was going to prove it. 

“He just wants us to seem all buddy-buddy for the sake of the movie.” Louis continued. “He doesn’t give a shit.”

“I really don’t get why you hate him so much.” Zayn didn’t bother looking up from his phone. 

“He was incredibly difficult to work with.”

“And that’s the whole story?”

Fuck Zayn and his perceptive abilities.

“Never mind,” Louis said, leaning back against his headrest in defeat.

--

“Hey, Louis?”

Louis had ignored Harry the first time he’d called his name. He had tried not to be outright about it, hoping he’d just looked extremely invested in lacing up the dingy rental ice skates. But ignoring him a second time would be rude, he knew, even if he was trying to minimize any conversation with Harry. 

Conversations evoked feelings, and Louis was trying to finish out his day devoid of any and all feelings. It was a good strategy. 

“Yeah?” he replied, hoping his tone came across as light.

Spending four hours seated next to Harry for interviews had been exhausting. A whole morning fielding questions would have felt that way in any scenario, of course, but it was a fatigue that had left his brain feeling like it wasn’t functioning properly. He felt on edge, and his annoyance with everything Harry had said or done had only heightened as the morning had dragged on. The everything bagel he’d eaten for lunch had staved off his hunger, improving his mood at least incrementally, but he had a feeling its effects would wear off quickly. 

He tried to remind himself that Harry was acting the way he was in an effort to promote the film. His ridiculous answers and pointed looks at Louis were merely a component of that process. Louis had spent the drive over to the ice rink reminding himself that was the whole reason they were both here. That fact wasn't lost on him. 

It was just that Louis had spent four months trying to put the events that had transpired in July behind him. He’d actually done a reasonable job of moving on in that time, too, and that was something he was trying to give himself credit for. It was like he had packed away all memories of Harry and HeartStamp in a cardboard box, sealing it with tape before storing it away somewhere in the deep recesses of his brain. 

But all it had taken was a few hours with Harry for the tape to slowly start peeling away, and for Louis’ muddled, confused feelings to come creeping back out. 

It just wasn’t fair that one morning could crumble all of the progress he’d made.

So now, naturally, the friendly folks at HeartStamp had thrust them out into the cold, where Louis and Harry were expected to skate around an ice rink pretending to have the time of their lives.

To add insult to injury, Zayn had found an open seat by a space heater, and was enjoying a hot coffee while Louis attempted to pull on a second pair of fleece gloves. 

“I, uh, need to tell you something,” Harry said, clearing his throat. 

Louis looked up from his skates, his interest piqued despite his best efforts. “Okay?”

“Yeah.” Harry looked at his feet, as if assessing the skates he had tightly laced up to his ankles. “Um… I’m really bad at ice skating.”

Oh. Not an interesting confession in the slightest. 

“I’m sure you’re fine,” Louis said. “Everyone’s bad when you haven’t gone since last winter.”

“No,” Harry said, shaking his head. “I’m, like, really bad.”

Louis eyed him suspiciously. “How bad?”

“Well, in Christmas Cookie Conundrum, there was supposed to be an ice skating scene.”

“And?”

“They scrapped it after they saw me on the ice.”

Louis couldn’t help but laugh, regardless of Harry’s responding scowl. “I’m sure you could use one of those walker things on the ice, yeah?”  

Surely he couldn’t be that bad. 

--

As it turned out, Harry was that bad. 

“A child just lapped you!” Louis cackled, pointing at the preschooler in the electric blue coat whizzing past them.

“Shut up,” Harry said, his tongue between his lips as he concentrated on remaining upright. He was holding on to the walker for dear life, although it only seemed to be making things worse. The device was child-sized, forcing Harry to hunch over as he gripped its plastic handles.

Louis scanned the crowd again, looking for Matt. The poor HeartStamp cinematographer had clearly picked the short straw when he was assigned to shoot this garbage, and Louis doubted he was getting anything promo-worthy during their crawl along the ice. Not only was the Rockefeller Center rink packed, but Louis couldn’t imagine how footage of Harry struggling to make it a full lap would entice people to watch the movie.

“Shit!” Harry said between his teeth, his left leg jutting out to the side before he effortfully stabilized himself against the rickety plastic walker.

“Alright,” Louis said, reaching for the walker. “We’re getting rid of this.”

“Louis, no!” Harry said, the panic evident in his voice. “I need it!”

“Harry, this thing is making it harder for you to skate, I swear. Here.” He held out his hand, wiggling his gloved fingers impatiently when Harry didn’t immediately take hold. “Just hold my hands until you get the hang of it, okay? We’ll stay close to the edge.”

Harry frowned but complied, gingerly letting go of the walker and gripping Louis’ wrist. Louis pushed the walker out of their way, then immediately grabbed Harry’s other hand. They stood still for a moment, Harry’s breathing quick as they faced one another, until he finally looked up from his feet.

“Think we can skate now?” Louis asked. 

Harry’s nod was tentative at best, but Louis took it as permission to move. Grasping Harry’s hands, Louis slowly skated backward. Harry jolted forward at first, as if he’d been digging into the ice with his heels. 

“Just think about gliding,” Louis said, modeling the fluid motion as he slowly moved his feet reciprocally along the ice.  

“Gliding equals falling,” Harry said, through gritted teeth.

“I’ve got you, Bambi.”

Louis remained focused on his surroundings as he moved, propelling Harry forward at a snail’s pace. Thankfully, Harry did appear to be relaxing slightly. His hands were still holding on to Louis’ for dear life, but at least his jaw didn’t seem to be locked into place. 

“See?” Louis asked after they’d completed half a lap. “It’s not so bad.”

Harry laughed nervously.

“Whose idea was this anyway?” Louis asked. He inspected the crowd around the rink once more, spotting Matt across the way, the camera clearly trained on them. At least this footage would be better than Harry hunched over the walker.

“Did you meet Jan at HeartStamp?” Harry asked. “She coordinates promotional content.”

“Couldn’t you have told her ice skating was a no-go?” Louis asked. He tried to drop one of Harry’s hands, confident he could support him one-handed, but Harry’s death grip around his palm only tightened. 

“I mean, I guess so,” Harry said. 

“Then why didn’t you?”

Harry sighed. “I guess I thought… maybe I’d be better this time?” 

Louis quirked his head to one side. “Without practicing or anything?”

“I don’t know.” It was Harry’s turn to whip his head around the rink this time, the move setting them off balance, but only slightly. “I’m sure Matt got what he needed, right?”

“Probably,” Louis agreed. “But the exit’s over there.” Lifting their joined hands, he motioned clear across the rink. “I could take you through the middle if you want to get out of here faster.”

Harry shook his head quickly. “Edge is good.”

“Yes, my liege,” Louis said, tamping down the chuckle that was threatening to burst out of him. Harry rolled his eyes, but Louis noticed his shoulders ease ever so slightly, and he didn’t panic or comment as Louis slightly quickened their pace. Louis focused on the exit, and on trying to convince himself that the warmth coursing through his hands was a result of his doubled-up gloves. It had nothing to do with the fact that he and Harry had been holding hands for the bulk of their time on the ice.  

“Zayn seems cool,” Harry said after a few silent strides.

“He is,” Louis replied. He’d convinced himself that talking to Harry as little as he could would be best, but right now he felt grateful for the reprieve from his thoughts. 

“You said you’ve known him for a while?”

“For a long time, yeah. We were maybe ten or so when we met.”

“Does your agent usually come with you to stuff like this?” Harry posed the question as if he was merely making conversation, but Louis knew what he was really asking. Why had Louis forced Zayn to accompany him on a full day of promo?

So much for a safe topic. 

“Not always,” Louis said, striving for nonchalance. “It’s just been awhile since we’d seen each other, with him based in the city. You know?”

Harry nodded, but Louis still couldn’t help but feel that he wasn’t quite buying it.

“Anyway,” Louis said, as they finally made it off the ice. “It’s fucking freezing out here. I’m going to tear these skates off and bolt for the car.”

“I forgot how much you hate the cold,” Harry said, smiling as he trotted his skates over the carpeted surface leading to a series of benches just off the ice. 

“I can’t decide what’s worse,” Louis said. “Fake cold in July, or real cold in November.”

“I’ll take this over studio cold any day. It just kind of feels magical, you know?”

“Okay, Father Christmas,” Louis snorted. “If you’re done waxing poetic about winter, there’s a heated seat in the HeartStamp car with my name on it.” 

Louis had managed to get out of riding with Harry to the ice rink, but since they were all together now, it wasn’t like he could beg off into a separate car to their next destination. The warm black sedan was, thankfully, waiting for them at the curb the moment they’d turned in their skates and found Zayn and Matt in the crowd. Matt quickly took the front seat, leaving Louis, Harry, and Zayn staring at each other as the driver looked at them expectantly, holding the back door open.

Louis was freezing, but his stubbornness won out as the three of them awkwardly stood at the curb. After a beat, Harry took the lead, sliding into the car and settling into the far seat. It would make sense for Louis to take the middle seat from there, he knew. But he’d spent all morning at Harry’s side for interviews, and then the way they’d held hands on the ice had left his body and mind confused. Of course sitting next to someone in the backseat of a car was a purely platonic act, something he’d done countless times with his siblings on summer road trips growing up, but he couldn’t help but feel like any more time he spent that close to Harry was going to send his thoughts into overdrive. So, he placed his palm against Zayn’s back, gave him a shove he prayed was subtle, and Zayn muttered something incomprehensible under his breath as he slid into the middle seat. “Oh, hey man,” he heard Harry say, and by the time Louis had secured his seatbelt, Harry was already attempting to start up a conversation. Louis knew he’d at least spend the drive over amused at Harry’s attempts to chat with Zayn, who detested talking for the sake of talking. 

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at the steps of PS 170, an elementary school in the heart of the Bronx. Matt had instructed Harry and Louis to stay in the car so he could film their arrival. Harry stepped out only momentarily, allowing Zayn the chance to get out of the car and behind the camera as they tried to exclude his blatant third-wheeling from the shoot. 

“This is really cool,” Harry said as they waited for Matt’s cue. “I’m really glad we’re doing this.”

“Me too.” 

Louis was sure Harry already knew that he had insisted on this event being a part of their day. So far, his School Days organization had only done work in the LA area, and Louis had been itching to expand to another city. Of course, like everything HeartStamp touched, this would be School Days with a Christmas twist, and they’d be giving out holiday gifts instead of backpacks, clothing, and school supplies. In the spirit of the season, the HeartStamp executives had volunteered to match his financial contributions to the afternoon, a generous offer that had allowed Louis to include every child in the building. Louis felt the eager anticipation in his gut that always came when his charity projects were coming to fruition. It just felt good to give back.

They climbed out of the car, Louis first, and walked over to greet the awaiting principal on the school steps. Tanya was just as bubbly as she’d been over the phone, and she greeted Louis with an eager handshake and words of gratitude.

“The children are so excited,” she said as she led them up the stairs. “Thank you for bringing some holiday joy to our school.”

“Of course,” Louis smiled, as Harry quietly walked along at his side.

It had taken some careful coordination with the school staff as they had submitted wish lists Louis’ way. He’d completed several online orders to bring the event to life, sending what had surely been a truckload of packages straight to the school receptionist. Thankfully, she’d been more than happy to sort, wrap, and label the gifts as they’d trickled their way in over the last few weeks. 

“The children are just waiting in the cafeteria,” Tanya explained, and Louis could hear the rumble of excited voices gradually amplifying as they followed her down the hallway. 

When they arrived at the door labeled lunchroom, Tanya looked at them with a smile, then pulled the door open. There were well over a hundred children crammed into the space, and they immediately erupted into cheers, clapping as Louis and Harry made their way in.

Louis doubted the children knew who they were. They were too young to have even been born during his Dominion days, something he was vehemently trying not to think about, and he doubted they had caught Harry in a HeartStamp film. Kids were just excitable, he knew, and the school staff had surprised them with a mid-day trip to the cafeteria, vaguely informing them there would be a special holiday surprise. 

After Tanya tried her best to subdue the excitement, she looked Louis’ way. 

“Hello!” he said over the noise, the children eagerly shouting back greetings. “I’m Louis, and this is Harry,” he said, motioning to where Harry was smiling brightly at his side. “Your teachers told us you’ve been working really hard all school year, so we wanted to bring you a special surprise, just in time for Christmas.”

The kids cheered again, and Louis couldn’t help but laugh. This was one of the reasons why he had focused his charity work on children. Not only did he see great benefit in directing his efforts toward those who often needed it most, but children so effortlessly exuded a natural sense of appreciation and joy that invigorated him to keep his work going. Selfishly, making others happy brought as much happiness to him as it did to the recipients of his charitable work. 

One side of the cafeteria was overflowing with gift bags. He checked in with Tanya, and she had teachers ready to help them find the children matching each tag. 

“Let’s get to it!” Louis said, the children reacting again with vigor. 

It was organized chaos as Louis and Harry each grabbed several gift bags, the helpful teachers reading the tags and pointing out who was who. Tissue paper was flying before they could even set the gifts on the tables, the children whooping as they pulled their gifts from the bags. Even Zayn stepped in to help, taking orders from Tanya as he kept the flow of gifts moving in Louis and Harry’s direction. 

Each child was receiving a new winter coat and an item from their wish list. Louis had ordered the gamut from video games to dolls, action figures to race cars. He’d been especially fond of the few children who had requested books for Christmas. Reading for pleasure was becoming somewhat of a lost art, and he was glad that even today there were a handful of kids who loved books as much as he had as a child. He still believed, although he didn’t share this routinely, that the Dominion books were way better than the movies. 

They managed to disperse the gifts quickly, and the children tore into them even faster. It was over in a flash, and as the children happily chattered with one another, holding up their gifts or slipping into their coats, Louis allowed himself a moment to take it all in. There were nothing but smiles all around.

“This truly is amazing, Louis,” Harry said at his side. “It’s something you do regularly?”

Louis nodded, smiling as he watched a boy take his remote control car for a spin on a cafeteria table. “Every August. I work with a few schools in LA to get kids what they need to start the school year. It’s fun.”

“It’s incredible,” Harry said. “Do you… do you ever need help? Volunteers?”

Louis looked at Harry now, watched as he ran his teeth over his bottom lip. “Are you volunteering?” he asked.

“I’d like to, if you’ll have me.”

An image passed through Louis’ mind then, of he and Harry together next August, hauling boxes from a rented van into one of the schools Louis partnered with in LA. They would likely be sweating from the combination of manual labor and summer sun, but when he pictured their faces, they were both smiling happily regardless. 

He nearly shook his head in an effort to erase the scene his brain was insistent on composing. Earlier that morning, Louis had been preparing himself to see Harry for the last time, so he wasn’t going to let himself start hoping that next August would be in their future. He just couldn’t. 

But Harry was looking at him expectantly, and whether it was their last day together or not, he deserved a reply.

“I think we could find a job for you,” Louis said, willing his tone to stay light. It was the right thing to say, he knew, as Harry’s hesitant smile brightened.

Louis had spent months recovering from that smile, but he’d done it before. He could do it again. 

Matt stepped in eventually, asking to film Louis and Harry interacting with a few of the kids. Together, they made their way over to a table of the youngest group. Louis figured they were likely Kindergarteners, all missing teeth and bubbled-over exuberance. They stopped in front of a young girl who was smiling at them confidently.

“Hi,” Louis said. “What’s your name?”

“Melody,” she replied, twirling a finger in her curly brown hair. 

“Well that’s a nice name,” Louis answered, kneeling down to her eye level. “I like your doll.”

She held up the doll with both hands, turning it toward Louis. “Her name is Sophie,” she said.

“You’ve already named her?” Melody nodded seriously in response. 

“Well, Melody,” Louis answered, “I hope you and Sophie have a wonderful Christmas.”

Louis took his time talking to the children, basking in their happiness over their gifts. If they were meant to be on a strict schedule, Harry didn’t say. He followed Louis’ lead, speaking softly to a boy who’d received a science kit and an older girl who had asked for tennis shoes with sequins. 

It was Tanya who brought an end to the afternoon eventually, announcing loudly over the hubbub that the dismissal bell would ring in five minutes. The children collectively groaned at the prospect of having to say goodbye to Harry and Louis, but complied quickly all the same, filing out of the cafeteria for their backpacks with their new gifts in tow. Louis relished in the animated waves and offers of fistbumps he and Harry received as the kids made their way out of the double doors.

Tanya thanked them again before excusing herself for dismissal, and Matt started to pack up his camera equipment. Now that the chaos had cleared, Zayn was easy to spot at a far table, so Louis made his way over. 

“Nice makeover,” Louis said, pinching Zayn’s earlobe as he swatted Louis’ hand away.

“The second grader who got the stick-on earrings was feeling generous,” Zayn said, running his fingers over the colorful pink flowers adorning his ear.

“It’s a good look,” Harry said as he approached. 

“Thanks, man,” Zayn replied, distracted as his phone started to ring. “I’ve just gotta…” Zayn answered the call as he stood, walking away as he mumbled a greeting. 

“So,” Harry said, rubbing his shoe over a scuff mark on the cafeteria’s linoleum floor. 

“So.” Louis echoed. “Tree lighting next, and then we’re done, right?”

“Right.” 

“Hey,” Zayn called from across the cafeteria, his phone pulled slightly away from his ear. “Lou. I have to go.”

“What?” Louis walked toward him quickly, trying to quell the sense of panic beginning to seize his chest. “Zayn,” he started, then discreetly attempted to lower his voice. “You can’t.”

“Sorry, babes,” Zayn said, holding up his phone as if that explained anything. “Emergency with another client.”

“But-” Louis started, unsure of what more he could say. He wasn’t one to get on his knees and beg, so the fact that he was strongly considering making such a scene said something. At the start of the day, he’d needed Zayn as a buffer for the awkwardness he knew he’d feel seeing Harry again, and it truly had felt comforting having him there, even if all Zayn had really done was spend the day off to the side on his phone. But now, as the day neared its end, as hours had passed with Harry making jokes and smiling softly and being endearingly bad at ice skating and endearingly good with children, he needed Zayn for a different reason entirely. He needed Zayn there to keep his head level, to stop him from doing or saying or acting on something that would lead to nothing but regret. 

“I’ll meet you in the morning for coffee, okay?” Zayn said, placating him, clearly unaware of his inner turmoil. “Before you fly out?”

Louis tried to give Zayn his best puppy-dog eyes, however pointless it was. He spared a glance at Harry, who was at least feigning interest in his phone as he stood close enough to likely catch bits and pieces of their conversation. 

“Okay,” Louis said finally, on a sigh.

“You’ll be fine,” Zayn said, hugging him quickly. “He’s really not so bad,” he whispered softly, his lips to Louis’ ear. “I still think there’s something going on here you didn’t fully fill me in on.” 

“No comment.” 

Zayn attempted to simply wave in Harry’s direction, but Harry approached quickly when he realized Zayn truly was leaving, insisting on a handshake and a proper goodbye. 

And that left Louis, Harry, and Matt as a trio on the final stop of the journey.

Matt, who called shotgun again before they were even in sight of the car.

Traffic was picking up now that the school day was done, so their drive back to Rockefeller Center for an evening shot by the Christmas tree was slower than their midday drive out to the Bronx.

They had a different driver this time, who seemed determined to also serve as a tour guide as they crawled through city traffic. In any other moment, Louis may have been annoyed by someone pointing out every landmark - or non-landmark, at times - but the driver’s incessant talking left no space for him to spark up a conversation with Harry, which he knew was for the best. He looked out the window, his eyes barely focusing on the passing sights, as he willed the evening to pass quickly. One more stop, and he could truly close this chapter of his life. 

--

The Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center truly was a spectacle. Louis had imagined it would be from the images he’d seen on TV and in pictures, and seeing it in person definitely did not disappoint in the slightest. It was massive, and lit so brightly that he wanted to joke about needing sunglasses. It almost gave off enough warmth to make him forget that they’d been forced to make yet another foray into the cold. 

Almost.

“It’s beautiful, right?” Harry said, his head craned upward toward the sky as he took it in at Louis’ side.

“It is.”

The crowd was nearly as much of a spectacle as the tree itself. Families and tour groups alike filled the sidewalks, making it nearly impossible to move. Harry and Louis had stayed behind while Matt went to flash his HeartStamp badge to security, hopeful they could film in one of the designated areas away from the masses.

Harry covered his mouth with his hand, a failed attempt to hide an evident yawn. He looked at Louis, his smile only slightly embarrassed, and Louis tried to force down the way his insides felt like they were turning to mush just watching him. 

“Long day, huh?” Louis forced himself to say, keeping conversation light. 

“Yeah,” Harry agreed. “I think we got some good stuff though, for promo.”

Louis nodded his head. He craned his neck around the hordes of people, looking to see if Matt was headed back, even though he knew he was playing the most impossible game of Where’s Waldo, searching for a non-descript man in a black coat somewhere in the nighttime crowd. 

“Louis?”

“Huh?” Louis turned to find Harry looking at him, clearly amused. He wondered how many times Harry had called his name. “Uh, sorry.”

“It’s okay. I was just asking what you’re doing after this.”

“Oh,” Louis said. “Um… going back to the hotel? Room service, TV, you know.”

Harry nodded. He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. Louis would have found the expression comical in any other moment, but there was a serious turn to Harry’s lips that left him feeling suddenly nervous. Keep it light, he pleaded internally.

But it was no use as Harry looked squarely at Louis, his facial expression suddenly determined as he blurted out what he’d been fumbling to say. “Would you want to go get dinner with me?”

Louis let the question hit him like a slap of cold winter air. They were nearly at the end of what had turned out to be a decent day. From Louis’ view, the two of them had managed to approach the events of the day with civility, leaving the disastrous wrap party unspoken as they’d successfully navigated the packed schedule. He’d pictured them filming by the tree as a figurative finish line, and had imagined himself running across the tape and pumping his arms into the air. I made it through the day, he’d be able to say. 

But now Harry was wanting to put them to the test by letting their evening linger on, apparently. And Louis found himself torn, his brain pleading with him to end the night on a good note, his heart pondering what could happen if he kept things going.

He was going to kill Zayn for leaving him in this blatant time of need. 

“Umm…” Louis paused, still vacillating between the two options, before saying what he knew was the right call. “I’m pretty wiped,” he started, his word choice careful as he tried to gently decline Harry’s invitation. “I think I’ll just go back-”

“I broke up with Josh.” 

Harry’s words came out in a rush, coursing from his mouth so quickly that Louis wasn’t sure he’d heard him correctly at first. But there Harry was, the confession free from his lips, and he eyed Louis desperately, as if pleading for a response. 

“When?” Louis asked, the first thought his brain allowed. 

“Last month.”

“Why?” Single word questions were all that he could manage at the moment, apparently.

Harry sighed, his lips thrumming together. “Uh, well. Things hadn’t been good between us for a bit.”

Louis waited for him to continue, the bustle of the crowd around them feeling suddenly deafening as Harry remained quiet. 

Harry was single, and maybe that changed things. But… did it truly? Because there he stood, silent and stock-still in front of him, his inner thoughts as much of a mystery as they had been in July. 

“That’s all?” Louis asked, his voice toeing a line between irritation and desperation. 

Harry shook his head. “I’ve been working on post-production since August. Editing and stuff, you know. Seeing you every day on film, seeing us together, I just… I was lying to myself by staying with Josh. It wasn’t fair to either of us anymore.” 

“What are you trying to say?” Louis asked, his pitch rising upward as his insides implored Harry to just say what he was thinking. If Harry could speak his truth, just this one time, maybe this moment would set them on the course Louis had sworn off months before. 

“Louis,” Harry said finally, his voice shaky but his face resolute. “I, I like you. I liked you when I first met you at your audition. I tried so hard not to like you when we were filming. But when you kissed me, when we kissed on set, I just couldn’t deny it anymore. I need you to know that I’m ashamed of what I did at the wrap party.” Harry swallowed, looking down to the ground. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, no matter how much I wanted to. It wasn’t fair to you, and it wasn’t fair to Josh. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for the way I let that play out, because that’s not the kind of man I am. But, I’m single now. And I’m telling you that I like you.” Harry’s gaze upward was hesitant, but he seemed determined to look at Louis as he continued.  “I guess I’m just wondering if you feel the same way… and maybe, if you’d like to go to dinner with me.”

So there it was. Harry was finally coming clean with how he felt. It was all that Louis had wanted over the summer, but hearing it now, four months later, Louis was surprised that he felt anger over elation, frustration over relief. 

It had been four months, and apparently Harry had assumed Louis would be waiting around for him to pull his head out of his ass and realize how good the two of them could be.

And honestly, Louis had been waiting, at least initially. But now? Now it was too little, too late. 

“I’m seeing someone else.”

The words were out before Louis could fully think them through, and while he told himself he didn’t intend them as a gut punch, it was evident that was how they were received. He watched in slow motion as Harry’s face fell, his hopeful smile turning confused, his shoulders slumping as he tried to play off his obvious disappointment.

“Who?”

“Well, not just one person, actually,” Louis said, feeling a sudden need to backtrack, to clarify. “I’ve just been dating. It’s thanks to the movie, actually.”

Harry frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I think playing Sam, and acting like I was falling in love, made me realize that I didn’t want to keep myself closed off forever. So, I started putting myself out there.” He didn’t mention the fact that it took him two months of wallowing over Harry before he asked Lottie if she knew anyone single his age. 

“Okay,” Harry said. “Well, I’m happy for you.” His attempt at a smile was almost painful to watch. 

Harry was happy for him. It was that easy for Harry just to let this go, and again Louis felt a zing of anger zipping up his spine. He’d been so careful with his words during their promo marathon, meticulous not to give too much of himself away, devoted to making it through this day without a deluge of confessions of feelings. But now, in the final hour, the words came spilling from his soul. 

“I liked you too, you know,” Louis said. He knew he sounded angry, but at this point he didn’t care. “Even though you were impossible to read. I spent those weeks confused as hell, but by the end? I knew there was something there. And I know you were going through some shit and I knew you had an asshole boyfriend, and I was trying my best just to give you space and then be on my way, but you were the one who came to me at the wrap party. And then you left me like it was nothing and I haven’t heard from you since. I wasn’t immune to how that felt, you know.”

Louis watched as Harry took in his diatribe, his eyes widening in apparent shock as Louis finally allowed his own frustrations of the past four months to flow freely.

They stood, their eyes locked on one another, Louis allowing himself to catch his breath as Harry stared him down.

“Louis,” Harry said eventually, a sense of sadness as he drew out his name. “I-”

“Hey!” 

Louis caught a glimpse of a waving arm in his peripheral vision and turned to find Matt waving them down.

“We got the okay!” Matt shouted through the crowd. “Let’s go!”

Louis started to weave his way through the masses, only stopping when he felt a pull against his coat sleeve. 

“Louis,” Harry said. “Wait. We need to-”

“We need to finish filming the promo,” Louis said, raising his voice in lieu of looking back. As Harry’s hand fell from his sleeve, Louis trudged onward.

--

“And be sure to check out our new movie The Bakery Boyfriend, premiering Christmas Eve only on HeartStamp.”

Louis allowed the fake plastered smile on his face to drop as soon as Matt gave a thumbs up from behind his camera. 

“Sweet,” Matt said. “Think we’ve got everything.”

“Awesome,” Louis muttered.

The hotel was a mere seven blocks away. Louis contemplated walking, but the car was ready to whisk them away from the night time chill, and his fingers were basically ice cubes despite his fleece-lined gloves. So he climbed into the car for the last time, a downtrodden Harry at his side, and they completed the short trip to the high-rise hotel.

Matt was completely unaware of what had transpired, and his ability to read the room was apparently non-existent, so he spent the drive and hotel elevator ride reminiscing on the day, oblivious that he was essentially talking to himself. 

As fate would have it, Matt’s room was on the sixth floor, so he said his goodnights as he left the elevator first. 

“Have you watched the movie?” Harry said, his body slumped against the far corner of the elevator.

Louis shook his head. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to watch the advance copy that HeartStamp had provided. 

“When you watch it, you’re going to see, Louis. There are parts of the film, scenes that made it to the final cut, where I know we weren’t just playing our characters. It was you and me, and you know it. You have to.”

“Why do you think I haven’t watched it, huh?” Louis said, willing his tone to stay even. “Do you think I’d want to relive that, with how things ended for us?” 

“I’m sorry,” Harry pleaded, standing straighter. “Truly, I am. I know this is my fault, that I’m the one who screwed all of this up. But now you’re seeing other people and so… I guess that’s just it, then. I was too late.”

The elevator alerted them to their arrival at floor twelve, and it was Harry’s turn to exit this time. He stepped off the elevator before slowly turning back. “Good night Louis,” he said, his voice breaking, and he turned away without waiting for a reply.

Well, shit. 

Louis darted out of the elevator as the door creaked toward its close, the safety sensor stopping just before his arm was removed from his body. He breathed a quick sigh of relief before jogging Harry’s way.

He was ready to call out Harry’s name, to tell him to wait, but his footsteps must have been comically loud, because Harry had already turned around to eye him suspiciously.

“I need some time,” Louis said, his breath catching. Once again, his words were moving faster than his thoughts, but Louis knew what he was saying was the truth. He honestly didn’t know what he wanted to do next. Did he want to move on? His few dates had been fun, but he’d be lying if he said he’d formed a serious love connection. It was information he wasn’t ready to divulge to Harry yet, but he knew the way he’d felt about his recent set-ups hadn’t even come close to the feelings he’d experienced over the summer.

So did he want to allow himself to fall back into what he and Harry had only scratched the surface of on set? Their mere weeks together had been confusing, and involved more drama than he needed from a potential relationship, and time alone wasn’t necessarily going to resolve those issues. 

Then there was also the lingering thought that all of this would be for nothing. Would he commit to moving forward just to experience a second fallout at the hands of Harry? And how much more time would it take to recover than the first time around? 

All he knew was, he couldn’t decide in a split-second. So he didn’t have an answer, not yet at least. But he knew now that he wanted to think it over. 

Harry had reverted to silence, just looking at Louis, his expression quizzical. So Louis trudged on.

“I just… it’s taken me some time, you know. After the summer. And I’m in a good place now, really, I am. So I need to think about what I want to do next. I don’t expect you to wait. But, maybe we can just see what happens?”

“Okay,” Harry said eventually, his nod slow but earnest. “I can give you that.” A sense of relief washed over Louis as he realized Harry wasn’t going to try to persuade him to untangle his jumble of confused thoughts on the spot. They’d both finally had the chance to say their piece, and while things weren’t resolved, they were at least in a place that would allow them to take the space to decide what came next. 

It was Louis’ turn to back away now, to take the elevator up two more floors or find the stairs. But first, he opened his arms, tilting his head to one side as he waited for Harry’s reply. Harry’s smile was slight, and if he wasn’t fully happy, he at least accepted Louis’ open arms as they met in the middle for a brief hug.

“Have a happy Christmas, Harry,” Louis said softly, his lips nearly grazing Harry’s ear.

“I will, Louis. You too.”

And that was enough, at least for now. They parted in unison, and with one last look, Louis turned and headed back toward the elevator.

His hotel room was warm and inviting, and within moments he was in his fleece pajama bottoms and camped out under the down comforter, relishing in the feeling of his body defrosting from the cold.

He pulled out his phone and opened his messages, then composed a text to Zayn.

We kissed over the summer, he wrote. Me and Harry. 

His confession was now put into writing, and a sense of relief washed over him when Zayn immediately composed a reply.

Ah. That explains it. Tell me over coffee in the AM?

Louis sent a thumbs-up before quickly setting his phone to do-not-disturb. He could feel the exhaustion overtaking him, the day as challenging mentally as it had been physically. And with his thoughts now out in the open, and a feeling he had finally taken the reins, he settled into a fitful sleep. 

--

DECEMBER 

“Fifteen minutes, Lou Bear!”

“Be right there!” Louis hadn’t been hiding in his childhood bedroom. Truly, he wasn’t. It was just that he was having some last-minute regrets about agreeing to watch the premiere of The Bakery Boyfriend with his entire family. 

Maybe it would have been better if he had watched the advance copy after all. At least he would have known when to cover his eyes, or when to leave the room all together under the guise of a bathroom break. Instead, he’d be watching for the first time with his mom, step-dad, and gaggle of younger siblings. So he wasn’t holing up in his bedroom so much as he was mentally preparing himself for ninety minutes of being relentlessly teased. 

He groaned at the quick succession of knocks on the bedroom door. “Said I was coming,” he called, as he willed himself to stand from his bed and pull it open. 

It wasn’t his mom on the other side, but Lottie, likely the family designee to force him down the stairs. Except she was smiling at him nervously, the look on her face immediately catching him off guard. “Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked her, suddenly suspicious.

“Don’t be mad,” she started. 

“Lottie…” He was racking his brain, trying to figure out what she possibly could have done on Christmas Eve - not to mention his birthday - that would have been worthy of such a warning.

“I’ve been talking to Harry,” she said, her gaze unwavering on Louis’ face. “Over DMs, mainly. But I invited him to come watch the movie with our family tonight.”

“You did what?” Louis said, making minimal effort to conceal the obvious panic in his voice. He craned his neck, trying to look out his bedroom window, as if Harry Styles was suddenly going to materialize on their front lawn. All he saw were the Christmas lawn inflatables his step-dad had meticulously arranged in their yard on Black Friday. 

“Louis,” Lottie said, bringing a gentle hand to his arm. “Look, I don’t fully know what happened, and you don’t need to tell me. But you practically dragged me out of that wrap party and were sullen for months after. Then you came back from seeing Harry in New York City, and you’ve been moping around ever since. You even stopped going out on dates, when you’d just put yourself back out there.”

“I haven’t been moping,” Louis tried, but Lottie just raised an eyebrow at him. There was no fooling her. “I can’t believe you invited him,” he muttered.

“If you want to send him on his way, that’s up to you. But he’ll be here any minute, and I figured you’d rather be the one to greet him at the door instead of everyone pouncing on him.”

Louis pictured it for a moment, the door opening to reveal Louis’ six siblings eyeing Harry curiously, his mom ushering him in with a hug. The overwhelm could be comical, but Lottie was, annoyingly, right. Louis would be the one to let him in. 

He started for his door, surprised when Lottie pulled him in for a hug. 

“Hey,” she said softly, squeezing him tightly, “you deserve to be happy, you know.”

“I know.” Lottie had always been a little too perceptive, sensing what he was feeling without him needing to say a word.

He walked down the stairs alone, wordlessly moving past his family piled in front of the living room TV as he made his way to their front door. He caught sight of himself in the small mirror his mother had hung in the entryway and groaned. He was in sweatpants, his hair messy as a result of his mid-day nap. He ran his fingers through it quickly, successfully managing to pat down the wildest parts before giving up. This would have to do.

Surely his family knew what was about to happen, but Lottie must have instructed them to leave him to this. Of course, Harry wouldn’t have even been on his way over had she not invited him, but at least it looked like he would have a chance to greet him without everyone eyeing them down. 

Not that they weren’t likely to gather around the front window, of course.

Ugh.

He watched through the glass of the front door as a car pulled up to the curb, recognizing it instantly as Harry’s Volvo. Louis could feel his limbs practically shaking, and whether it was with nerves or adrenaline he couldn’t quite tell. 

He hadn’t seen Harry since that night in New York. He’d asked for time, and Harry had given it to him. It had been nearly a month, but regardless, Louis was caught off guard, left unsure of his next move. It was maybe for the best that he didn’t have time to ruminate over it, because there was Harry, walking up his front steps. Louis opened the door before Harry could manage to ring the doorbell. 

“Hey,” he said, stepping outside and quietly shutting the door behind him.

“Hi Louis,” Harry said, his voice careful. He was wearing tight-fitting jeans and a HeartStamp sweatshirt. He wasn’t as dressed down as Louis, but he still managed to look cozy. “I… is this okay, that I’m here?”

“Why aren’t you with your family in Minnesota?” It was Christmas Eve, after all.

“Oh. Um, Niall and I do this live show for HeartStamp every Christmas. It’s a tradition.”

“Another HeartStamp tradition,” Louis laughed dryly.

“Yeah. My family’s used to it now. I’ll fly home the day after Christmas.”

“Cool.”

“Louis,” Harry said, the tension evident in his voice. “You didn’t really answer my question. Am I… is this okay?”

“Well I only found out you were coming a few minutes ago,” Louis said, clearly the wrong way to start as Harry’s shoulders visibly stiffened. “But yes, it’s okay.”

“Okay. Good. I, uh, I’ve been giving you time.”

“I noticed,” Louis answered. Despite what was likely to be a serious conversation, he couldn’t help the hint of sarcasm that escaped from his lips. 

“Yeah. I realized we didn’t really talk about, um, how much time? Like, I wasn’t sure if you were going to reach out when you were ready, or…” 

“Ah. Good point,” Louis said. He’d give Harry that one. It wasn’t every day he told someone he needed time apart, so clearly he hadn’t thought through the logistics. 

After a beat of silence passed, Louis asked the question that had been tugging at his consciousness. “How much have you told Lottie?”

Harry’s eyes grew wide. “I haven’t told her anything. At least, I don’t think I did. Actually, I thought maybe you had told her what happened? It seemed like she knew anyway, based on her messages.” 

“What did she say?”

“Um… that she knew we were taking some time apart, but that she thought you’d like to see me.” 

“She is absolutely conniving,” Louis said. He’d have a talk with her later, of course, and she’d admit no wrongdoing for her meddling. 

“She also said that you were going to be too stubborn to reach out on your own.” Harry smiled slyly with that remark, as if he couldn’t help himself, and Louis chuckled softly.

“I mean. She’s not wrong.”

They stood in front of each other, the silence something close to comfortable for the first time in a while. Louis caught a glint of light at Harry’s side, and realized he was holding a shimmery gold gift bag. 

“What do we have here?" Louis asked, pointing. There was a chance they were in the middle of a life-changing conversation, but he’d never been one to downplay the excitement of a gift. 

“Oh! Um, happy birthday, Louis.” Harry said, holding out the small bag in front of him.

“You remembered my birthday?”

“Of course.” 

“Can I?” Louis leaned forward, trying to peek into the bag. Of course it was stuffed to the brim with tissue paper, revealing no secrets. 

Harry nodded, passing it off, watching on as Louis unceremoniously flung the tissue paper onto the ground. 

“Oh.” Louis was caught speechless for a moment as he gently removed the crystal snowflake ornament from the bag. He looked up at Harry. “Is this the one from the set?”

Harry shook his head. “I actually went back to Christmas Wonderland. I wanted one for myself, as a memento I guess, and I just thought you might want one too?”

“You went and saw Nina without me?” Louis teased, watching as Harry smiled too, the dimple on his cheek appearing softly in the dim outdoor light. 

“I know, I know,” Harry said. “Let me tell you, she was very unhappy about it.”

“That’s because Nina and I are like this,” Louis chuckled, intertwining two of his fingers together. He held the ornament out by its ribbon and watched as the porch light reflected off its surface, a beautiful series of colors playing along its smooth edges. 

“It’s perfect, Harry,” he said finally, his voice soft as he regarded the delicate crystal in his palm.  

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

It was as if something was suddenly clicking into place in Louis’ mind as he stood outside of his childhood home, Harry there in front of him blushing slightly and smiling softly. Their start hadn’t been easy, far from it, in fact. Harry had been difficult and often unpleasant and absolutely confusingly impossible to read. Not to mention, taken. Maybe fate had been hard at work to bring them together, but a bit off on the timing of it all. 

A sense of calm washed over Louis as he realized that what had happened before did not dictate what now could be. Louis could already sense that this second chance they had been given would be different. This time, they would both be walking in with a clean slate. There would be no reason for Harry to have the walls up he’d had before, no reason for him to keep Louis in the dark about what he was thinking, how he was feeling. It would be different this time. Louis just knew it. 

There was still a small part of Louis’ heart that was terrified at the prospect of being broken. His life had been easier in so many ways when he had closed himself off to the possibility of love, thrown himself into his charity work, and kept a low profile. But he understood now that a chance at something real was better than the false security a lonely life provided. And when he pictured a potential partner at his side, the only image that came to mind was that of Harry. 

There was something about Harry that was magnetic, and the two of them together was pure electricity. 

He’d have to thank Lottie, he begrudgingly realized, for orchestrating a reunion that he would have stubbornly avoided for God knows how long. 

But for now, he was ready to put it all on the line for Harry. “Harry,” he said, reaching for his hands, imagining the swell of music that might start up if this were a pivotal scene in a romance film. 

Then he heard the front door creak open behind him.

Dropping Harry’s hands, Louis turned quickly, predictably finding his mother poking her head out of the doorway, and all six of his siblings standing around her, gawking.

Jesus Christ.

“Hi there,” his mom said, sweet as ever. Nosy as ever. “You must be Harry. I’m Johannah, Louis’ mom.”

Harry only looked a bit shell-shocked at the horde of Tomlinson-Deakins staring him down, but he concealed it well. He smiled as he stepped forward, shaking Johannah’s hand earnestly as he introduced himself.

“Hate to interrupt,” Johannah said, “but the movie is starting in just a moment. Harry, Lottie said you’re planning to join us?”

Harry looked at Louis, and Louis looked at Lottie, who shrugged, making no effort to disguise the smirk on her face. 

“Yeah, mom, he will,” Louis said. He looked at Harry and mouthed “Okay?,” relieved by Harry’s quick nod. 

“Wonderful!” Johannah swung the door wide open. “Give them room, everyone,” she said, as Louis’ siblings retreated back to the living room. “Save a space for Harry to sit.”

“After you,” Louis said, stretching his arm out toward the door as Harry entered. Louis pressed a hand to the small of Harry’s back, guiding him gently toward the right. 

“Saved you two a spot,” Lottie said, pointing toward a plush oversized armchair off to the side.

“Splendid,” Louis deadpanned, but he led Harry there anyway, allowing him to sit first. Harry scooted to one side, then patted the space next to him. “You sure?” Louis asked.

“Sit down, Louis,” he murmured. 

“We are so excited for this, Harry,” Johannah said, adjusting the volume on the TV as the seconds ticked closer to seven. “Are you excited to watch it, dear?”

“Mom,” Louis said. “Harry’s a producer on the film. He’s watched it, like, dozens of times.”

“I'm still excited,” Harry countered. “There’s something special about watching it on air for the first time.”

“Well, we’re just thrilled you chose to watch it with us. And we know Louis’ looking forward to seeing it!” His mom shushed his youngest siblings as a commercial ended, as if this was possibly the moment. 

Louis tensed slightly as Harry moved his way, his lips so close, until he realized it was only to whisper. “You never watched the advance?”

Louis shook his head before whispering back, his nose unintentionally nudging against Harry’s ear. “I just couldn’t bring myself to. I don’t know.” He wasn’t willing to admit he’d felt nervous about watching the final form of his return to the screen. 

“So you’d rather your first viewing of our romantic comedy occur with your entire family present?”  

Louis elbowed Harry, eliciting a surprising squawk as he did. “Well now that you put it that way!” he said. “Thanks a lot!”

It was Louis’ turn to yelp in surprise when a pillow hit him square in the face. He opened his eyes quickly, looking for the perpetrator, only to find Lottie smiling at him sarcastically. “Movie’s starting,” she said.

Sure enough, there was a swell of music as the HeartStamp logo appeared on the screen. It quickly transitioned to an outdoor shot, which Louis recognized instantly as the fictional town square. The camera spanned past the shops and over the snow as the opening credits played.

His family whooped embarrassingly when Harry’s name came on the screen, and only escalated from there when Louis Tomlinson appeared in an ornate scroll. 

“They’re menaces,” Louis said to Harry, raising his voice over the ruckus.

Harry’s responding smile was simply brilliant. “I love it.” 

His family settled at his mother’s insistence once the dialogue began, but the occasional peanut gallery commentary - all at Louis’ expense - continued intermittently throughout the film. 

It felt strange, reliving this fictional world with a very real Harry at his side. But this movie, the one he thought would be a cheesefest only appealing to a very specific subgroup of middle-aged women… well, it had heart. Louis could see it now, how Forrest’s sweet demeanor provided a perfect balance to Sam’s initial cold exterior. Looking in from the outside, he caught on to the way Sam slowly thawed, his goodness emerging with each passing scene, each interaction with Forrest. He watched on eagerly as they frolicked through the nighttime snow, their snowball fight left in the final cut in its entirety, their words obscured by a jovial instrumental number. His family groaned as Forrest and Sam’s near first kiss was interrupted by Niall’s Jack. Niall’s comedic timing and heart stole the film, truly, and Louis planned to text him as soon as it was over to tell him as much. 

Louis found himself captivated by his scene with Klaus, the world’s most realistic Santa. While they’d watched quietly throughout, he felt compelled to move toward Harry. “Hey,” he whispered. “That guy was incredible. Best Santa I’ve ever seen.”

“I know,” Harry agreed quickly. “You know what’s wild? He literally only comes to set for his one day of filming. Never comes to the wrap parties or anything else. I swear he is literally hard at work at the North Pole the rest of the year.”

Time passed quickly as Louis watched their summer’s hard work come to life, and before he knew it, the final scene was quickly approaching. He watched Sam and Forrest walking down the sidewalk at night, their sweet smiles and gentle hand holds on full display. He looked at his family, their interest all piqued as the film neared its end.

And in that moment, he realized there was no way in hell he was going to sit in a cramped chair with Harry as his entire family watched them make out on the flat screen TV.

He stood up abruptly, offering his hand to Harry who, thankfully, took it without question as Louis pulled him upward. They nearly crept out of the space unseen, but his mother had eyes on the back of her head, as usual.

“Louis!” she hissed. “You’re going to miss the end!”

“We’ll be back,” he said, dragging Harry through the swinging door leading to their kitchen before anyone could argue further.

He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding when he and Harry were finally alone. “Hi,” he said, squeezing Harry’s hand that was still intertwined with his own. 

“Hi,” Harry said. “You good?”

Louis smiled. “I am. Just didn’t want to watch us kissing in front of my family.”

“Fair enough.” Harry reached out, grabbing Louis’ other hand, and they stood face-to-face, their hands clasped tightly. 

“Thank you for coming tonight,” Louis said. “I’m glad you’re here.” 

“I’m glad too.” 

A memory sparked in Louis’ brain, and his lips twitched with suppressed laughter as he couldn’t help but act on it.

“Also… thank you for being you. For helping me see the magic of Christmas. I really get it now.”

“Um…you’re welcome?” Harry was gracious, even when utterly confused.

Smiling, Louis pressed on. “All this time,” he said, adding a dramatic flair as he threw his head backward. “I’ve just wanted happiness.”

Harry’s eyes widened in amusement as he caught on. “Are you saying the final lines from the movie?”

“Shut up,” Louis said. “I’m almost done.” He cleared his throat, squared his shoulders, then wiggled his eyebrows at Harry before he continued. “I’ve found my happiness,” he said in a melodramatic ooze. He paused for further effect before the final words left his lips.

“... with you.”

“You are so cheesy-” Harry started, his thought interrupted as Louis pushed him against his mother’s kitchen counter, no hesitation this time as their lips met one another. 

This kiss was equal parts intense and effortless. It was an eager reunion after months apart, but the urgency their lips had encountered before was gone this time, as if they both knew this would be their first true kiss of many. Or at least, it would be if Louis got his way… and he had a feeling he would.

They both jumped as Louis’ family cheered from the other room, and for a moment Louis thought he’d been caught in the act. But the door leading into the kitchen was still closed, no evidence they’d been spotted.

“Movie’s probably over,” Louis whispered.

“Yeah.”

“Think we’re probably going to be interrupted soon,” he said, before pressing a series of short pecks across Harry’s lips from edge to edge.

“Yeah,” Harry said again.

“Will you please stay for birthday cake?” Louis pleaded, bringing his arms to Harry’s back as he held him in place.

“Of course.” Harry pressed his lips to Louis’ neck, nuzzling in closely. “Happy Birthday, Louis,” he murmured, his lips vibrating against Louis’ skin.

Louis could hear his family stampeding their way, and he knew their moment’s peace was mere seconds away from dissolving into pure chaos, but he allowed himself just one more brief kiss before he pulled away from Harry. 

“Merry Christmas, Harry,” he said, grasping his hand once more as the door swung open to the kitchen, and the Christmas Eve madness truly began.  

--

“Oh my God,” Louis muttered to himself in amusement as he fired up his TV and navigated to the HeartStamp channel.

It looked like Christmas itself had thrown up on Harry and Niall in the HeartStamp studio. There was a Christmas tree off to one side, filled to the brim with gaudy ornaments and tinsel. The fake HeartStamp fireplace was off to their right, its orange-red fire clearly dialed up to the high setting as it threatened to escape the hearth. Niall was wearing a sweater adorned with a Christmas tree and a hat with elf ears, which left Louis wondering why Niall hadn’t been cast in every movie as an elf. He was definitely going to suggest it to his HeartStamp contacts.

And then there was Harry. In his Santa hat and red and white striped Christmas pajamas, Harry exuded Christmas even more than he had in the six months that Louis had known him, which was saying something. 

Harry had excused himself from the Tomlinson-Deakin household shortly after they’d plowed through Louis’ birthday cake. He was expected at the HeartStamp studio by nine in the morning, after all, for a day of live studio filming. He and Niall would talk through the collection of HeartStamp Christmas films as they aired, he had explained, sharing behind-the-scenes information and taking live calls from viewers. 

Louis, of course, hadn’t made it out of his family’s cheery Christmas chaos - and completely non-subtle attempts at bringing Harry up in conversation - until early Christmas afternoon. With his stepdad asleep on the couch, his siblings all caught up in their phones or gifts, and his mother busying herself in the kitchen, his escape had been easy enough. He’d plopped onto his couch as soon as he’d walked through the door of his house, equal parts exhausted and giddy from the events of the past twenty-four hours. 

He’d pulled out his phone first, clicking on the link Zayn had sent him over text with nothing more than a thumbs-up emoji. The Bakery Boyfriend makes waves, bringing Christmas cheer and inclusivity to HeartStamp, read the headline of the article.

The press is good, right? Louis texted back quickly.

Really good. Merry Christmas, babes <3

He’d remembered then that he might be able to see Harry on TV, embarrassed as he realized he already missed him. He’d gone months without seeing him, but now that the dust had settled, going a day without him felt interminable.

He was lucky to have caught a lull in between HeartStamp movies when he turned on his television, since seeing Harry on the screen had really been his motivation for even finding the channel in the first place. As soon as he realized that Harry and Niall were in the portion of the show that involved taking viewer calls, a spark of inspiration hit. 

He spoke with a production assistant after calling the 800 number flashing on the screen, and moments later someone with a headset ran a note over to Niall. The grin on Niall’s face was wicked as he processed what was happening.

“Well, folks,” Niall said, “we have a special caller next, someone who calls themselves Harry Styles’ biggest fan, or so I’ve heard?”

Harry smiled, completely oblivious to what was about to happen. “Is it Gladys?” he said, waving to the screen. “Hello Gladys!” 

“Not Gladys,” Niall said. “Although we know our favorite retiree is definitely watching.” He blew a kiss to the screen. “But why don’t we just let our mystery caller introduce themselves. Hello, you there?”

Louis muted his television to prevent an echo, but left the picture going, dying to see Harry’s facial expression when he realized what was going on. 

“Hi there,” Louis said smirking as Harry’s eyebrows instantly drew together in confusion.  

“Hello!” Niall said. “Who do we have calling?” Niall was playing completely dumb, and crushing it. Louis owed him one later. 

“This is Louis.”

“Louis?” Niall said, looking to Harry before turning back to the screen. “This couldn’t be… Louis Tomlinson from our newest HeartStamp Christmas film, The Bakery Boyfriend?” 

“One and the same,” Louis chirped, watching as Niall smiled and Harry continued to look dumbfounded.

“Hmm,” Niall said, “could be an imposter. Louis, how do we know it’s really you? Tell us something about Harry that only you would know.”

“Well,” said Louis, playing along. “Harry Styles is absolutely terrible at ice skating.”

Niall laughed at that as Harry scrunched his forehead, his pout evident across Louis’ screen. “I’m afraid anyone at HeartStamp knows that fact,” Niall said.

“True, true,” Louis agreed. “Well… how about this? Harry Styles asked me to dinner about a month ago, and I couldn’t go.” Couldn’t was a stretch, but Louis let it lie, continuing to carefully watch Harry’s face.

“All right,” Niall said. “Let’s confirm with my main man here. Harry, are we talking to the real Louis Tomlinson?”

Harry cleared his throat before answering. “We are.”

“Well, Merry Christmas, Lou!” Niall said, the crew on set cheering as he uttered a HeartStamper’s favorite words. 

“And to you as well,” Louis said into his cell. “You are looking mighty festive, I might add.” 

“Thank you, thank you.” Louis couldn’t help but giggle as Niall tipped the edge of his elf hat. “So, Mr. Tomlinson,” Niall continued, “did you just call us to have a chat this afternoon?”

“Ah,” Louis said, finding his in, “I’m afraid I do have something specific I’m trying to accomplish here, Niall.”

“Very well,” Niall said. “You have the floor.” He gestured toward the camera, and as if on cue, the cinematographer zoomed in on Harry’s face.

“Harry,” Louis said, watching as Harry’s eyebrows raised expectantly. “I, um, couldn’t go to that dinner in November. But, in the spirit of Christmas, I was wondering if you’d want to have dinner with me.”

“Yes.” Harry’s response was immediate, and completely sincere, and definitely said for Louis only. He realized it quickly, turning his HeartStamp smile back on as he stuttered only briefly. “Ah, I mean, I would love to meet you for dinner! When are you thinking?”

“Tonight?” Louis said. Harry was off to Minnesota for his delayed Christmas celebration in the morning, Louis knew, and he couldn’t imagine waiting to see him again until his return. “Restaurants are probably closed, so… maybe you could come to my place? I might only have frozen pizza, but-”

“I’ll be there,” Harry said, and his smile was still movie-ready, but somehow Louis knew it was genuine. 

“It’s a date!” Niall said, throwing his hands in the air in victory, as he also clearly forgot this was being broadcast to a live Christmas audience. “I mean, is it a date?” he asked, backtracking.

Harry looked to the camera for a beat, his cheeks reddening ever so slightly. “It’s a date,” he said.

“It’s a date,” Louis agreed, and the cheers from the HeartStamp staff were even more amplified that time. It took them some time to die down, any semblance of professionalism out the window. But it was Christmas, and the people Harry called family were now realizing what they’d likely wondered all along - that they had, in fact, witnessed Harry and Louis falling for one another over the course of a very Christmassy July. 

As the celebration settled, Harry stood at Niall’s side, essentially useless with his goofy smile, as Niall set the scene for the next film to air in HeartStamp’s movie marathon. 

Louis’ phone pinged as soon as his television cut to the opening credits of The Twins of Twinkletown.

What time should I come? Harry’s message read.

What time are you done there? 

Should be done by 4

Louis bit his lip as he typed out his reply.

Am I desperate if I say 4:05?? 

He watched the three dots coursing across his screen for what seemed like an eternity.

…

I was hoping you’d say that :p 

Louis responded with a smiley face emoji of his own, then set his phone against his chest as he unmuted the TV and settled into watching The Twins of Twinkletown. He felt a flutter in his chest when Harry’s character appeared on the screen. The HeartStamp version of Harry was swoon worthy, and charming, and someone who could make a person believe in love and romance and every wonderful thing.

Of course, the real Harry was all of those things, too. And in three short hours, he would be here, curled up next to Louis on the sofa. Louis had a feeling if they played their cards right, life was about to feel like year-round Christmas. 

And he had a feeling he wouldn’t mind that one bit. 

--

The End