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Astra wrapped Spooner up in her long arms, soft perfect curls falling around Spooner's shoulders as the two embraced, snuggled up on the couch in the library. Spooner's head eventually came to rest on Astra's chest, squeezing their eyes shut and praying for the pain to end. Even through the ringing and what felt like glass repeatedly cutting into their skull, Spooner felt safe.
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There was something about being around Astra since Odessa that had changed, though when Spooner thinks about it more, they remember Nate forcing them to connect in Fist City, where the pair revealed their childhood trauma to each other, creating a bond which had only solidified over time.
The anger and isolation and opposition to human connection was slowly replaced by a Legend they each found tolerable, and then they were left in 1925 Odessa Texas together.
Astra had watched Spooner tell their mom to leave before the invasion. Watched Spooner hug their mom for what could be the last time. And Astra was back in Highcastle Abbey all over again.
But then Spooner turned around and all Astra could do was hug them. Resting her chin on Spooner's head, Astra remembered Nat and all that loss hit her like a wave, and she hugged Spooner tighter. If a hug could ever communicate a message of empathy and connection and love, it was their hug that afternoon.
And then Gloria called Gideon Astra's child and they went inside her brain together, meeting all the past Legends and saving and practically raising Gideon into more of a human.
And Spooner caught Astra twice when the magic became to much.
And Astra promised Spooner she would always take care of them.
They learned to trust each other in the 1940s factory and in 1925 Chicago with Maude.
For a while Spooner was worried. Worried their best friend was just that. A person to exchange friendly, sarcastic, somewhat rude banter with and one of the few people in the world they could let in. Worried kind, talented, tall Behrad had Astra's heart.
But back in 2021, back on their Waverider alive in one piece after all the Legends had gone to bed or a movie night and the Captains went off to their honeymoon, after quite a few rounds of mezcals, Astra and Spooner retreated to the quiet of the library. Astra could tell something was up with Spooner as they kept fidgeting and glancing around. And then it dawned on Astra and suddenly she was full of dread and fear. This feeling seemed to seep from Astra, sending waves of anguish and hurt into Spooner.
"Astra!"
"What?"
"I'm not going anywhere!" Spooner exclaimed. While Spooner loved their mom and wanted to keep visiting her, they now had the Legends. And after making sure their mom was safe in Odessa, Spooner wanted to stay with the team on their ship, and with a certain tall brunette.
That night they stayed up for hours, just talking. Neither would actually ask what they wanted to, that would have to come later.
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Three weeks later, Astra held Spooner as their brain screamed at them, and no calming or quieting or hellish creature-reveal spell seemed to make anything better, which only seemed to increase Astra's anxiety.
Spooner's powers had been acting up ever since they got back to the present and even Gideon couldn't seem to nail down what was causing the "migraines with a vengeance" as Spooner called them. The more Astra tried to comfort Spooner, the more upset Spooner got that they were freaking Astra out and draining Astra's energy trying to figure out what was going on and that they did nothing to help Astra.
What seemed like an eternity later, the pain slowly subsided and Spooner turned slowly to face Astra.
"Thank you Lo," Spooner whispered.
Astra's eyes searched Spooner's, trying to tell if they were actually feeling better.
"I'm worried about you," Astra responded, "and before you apologize for my worrying - which is ridiculous by the way - I just wanted to say thank you for letting me be here when you're feeling like this. I know you don't always like to depend on people or let people see your pain, so I, just I'm always here for you Spoons."
Spooner just sat quietly, looking at Astra for a few seconds before curling back up against her.
"Thank you for being my safe space," Spooner whispered into Astra's perfect curls, "I'm here for you too ya know."
Astra nodded slowly and then chuckled a bit. "You've caught me and grounded me a few times, pretty good for someone of your size."
Spooner laughed, and the two fell back into their routine, returning comments and jokes in order to further procrastinate actually talking about their feelings. Because was there even a future for a five foot cowboy with alien and telekinetic communication powers and a six foot glamorous witch from Hell, both with tragic backstories and a history of shoving down their emotions and putting themselves in stupidly dangerous situations week after week? Neither one was ready to admit they wanted find out.