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NAME: Shmebulysses Q. Locke the III
HEIGHT: 3 feet (or, in gnome measurements, 16 caterpillarmeters)
EASILY FITS INTO: Lunchboxes; cargo pockets; overhead storage compartments
OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR: An old baby
SHUNNED FROM: Greasy's Diner/Society
ARCHENEMY: Xgqrthx the Vowelless, a dark warlock who got into a fight with Shmebulock over whose beard was greyer and cursed him to only speak his name. The curse can only be defeated if Shmebulock casts the Orb of Evlynmore into the Chasm of Garlock, but the orb is super heavy, and, like, the Chasm of Garlock is a major commute
NAME: Dicky and Ascot Sibling, a.k.a. "The Sibling Brothers"
PROFESSION: Meddling kids
SHOE STYLE: Goody Two
LIKES: Flavorless malts; saying "Aha!"
CASES: The Case of the Caper-Case Caper; The Horrifying Hair-Raising Happenstance at Hyperbole Hall; The Befuddling Scuttlebutt of the Scuttled Butler's Cuttlefish Hut
HOBBY AS KIDS: Going to church; finishing each others sentences
HOBBY AS ADULTS: Going to jail; finishing each other's life sentences
NAME: Mr. What's-His-Face
DEALS: Offers discount rates on poker faces, clock faces, and resting witch faces
SLOGANS: "Why the long face? Because you haven't called me yet!"
POKER BUDDIES: Jimmy Limby; The Hide-Behind; The Summerween Trickster (R.I.P.)
DESCRIPTION: A wretched mass of skin and teeth, stuffed in a musty overcoat, MWHF lurks in the shadows of Gravity Falls, preying on the vain and impulsive. Once tried to sell a new face to Soos, but was told, "Why mess with perfection?" Always has an ace up his sleeve and a face up his sleeve.
WEAKNESS: Exploding
LIKES: Sandwiches
DISLIKES: Handwitches
NAME: Pacifica Elise Northwest
BLOOD TYPE: Blue
NET WORTH: "YOWZA"
WINNER OF: Little Miss Gravity Falls Preteen Beauty Pageant; Northwest Scholarship for Northwests to Northwest Private School sponsored by the Northwests
FEATURED ON: Wealthstyles of the Rich and Cashulous on the Jealousy Network
HOBBIES: Mini-golf; beauty pageants; pony stacking; fox-hunting (It's actually just Toby Determined dressed as a fox. No one knows why he does this.)
SECRET HOBBIES: Is a level 100 DeathSlayer on a first-person shooter game Bloodcraft: Overdeath. Plays as "PLATINUMPAZ". Is also secretly good at puns, but tells no one.
NATURAL HAIR-COLOR: Inconclusive. Mabel was once heard to remark, "Your parents are both brunettes. Let's get real, girl."
FAVORITE FOOD: Pheasant stuffed with lobster stuffed with ravioli stuffed with only the most ironic New Yorker cartoons
ACTUAL FAVORITE FOOD: Deep-fried anything
NAME: ANTI-MABEL
PERSONALITY: Anti-Lovable
WANTED FOR: Stealing weapons-grade plutonium; overthrowing the government; using a giant laser to carve a frown on the moon
LIKES: Black coffee; the color beige; German Expressionism; financial newspapers with 0.1 size font; long, tense silences
DISLIKES: Liking things
FAVORITE FOOD: Picking the rainbow marshmallows out of her Lucky Leprechaun cereal and just eating the grain part. Without milk.
ACQUAINTANCES: Anti-Dipper (an incorrigible flirt); Anti-Stan (a charity-obsessed hippie), Anti-Ford (wannabe YouTube star/part-time DJ); Anti-Soos (Forbes billionaire); Anti-Waddles (the first pig to ever go to jail for armed robbery)
CURRENT LOCATION: Revenge-plotting her way through the mindscape
NAME: Tater "Tate" McGucket
PARENTS: Fiddleford McGucket and Emma-May Dixon (formerly Emma-May McGucket)
WORKS AT: Tate and Backle's Bait and Tackle
SKILLS: Selling fishing supplies; growing sideburns; saying "Yep;" is described by all who know him as a simple man
SECRET SHAME: Scored so high on the SATs that the grading machine exploded; can predict the stock market and weather patterns; guesses the correct Oregon State Lottery every year, but tells no one.
CURRENT RESIDENCE: Living with his father in Northwest Manor (renamed "McGucket's Hootenanny Hut!!"). Preston Northwest does not care for this name.
NAME: Filbrick Elmer Pines
OWNS: Pines Pawns: "New Jersey's least fun pawnshop!"
PRIOR JOBS: Construction worker; concrete pourer; comic book censor (Some people are actually paid to ruin jokes!)
OVERHEARD SAYING: "Saltwater taffy? What am I, made of money? We'll buy regular-water taffy in this family!"
MARRIED TO: Caryn Romanoff Pines; caring mother and kleptomaniac
LIKES: Money; putting steak as a condiment on steak; cowboy movies where everybody dies
ORIGINAL FAMILY NAME: The name Pines was reportedly introduced at Ellis Island, but records of the original name have been lost...
TREASURE: The President's Key
ORIGIN: Created in 1797 by Washington as a way to hide all his scandalous etchings of women's ankles from King George. Was passed down from president to president until it was swallowed by Quentin Trembley "to preserve it's power" and coughed up for Dipper Pines 150 years later.
TASTES LIKE: Licking a grandpa
CAN UNLOCK: The Washington Monument, which is actually a giant music box and spins and plays "Yankee Doodle" when you crank it.
The Lincoln Memorial, under which are hidden the bones of Linclops, the hundred-foot cyclops with a saddle on it that Abe Lincoln rode into battle during the Civil War
The President's Cabinet, a chest buried under the White House containing the never-before-seen "Final Draft of the Constitution," which contains the Kevinth Amendment (granting special rights to anyone named Kevin) and instates a prohibition on sideburns.