Archive of Our Own ^beta

as the ninong na maraming time para sa day off ay si jaemin ang nagpresinta na bantayan at alagaan si miel citrullus at michelle lanatus lee na fraternal twins ng kaibigan na si mark. hindi parin niya alam kung dapat ba sya maawa o matawa dahil ipinangalan lang naman ng kaibigan niya ang mga anak niya sa scientific name ng pakwan. hindi niya alam kung anong tumatakbo sa utak ni mark pero wala syang magagawa dahil mismong boyfriend nya ay supportado ang kalokohan ni mark, sya pa ang nagbigay ng idea na ipangalan sa pakwan nung mga panahon na nanganak ang asawa ni mark at kailangan na ng pangalan ng kambal. hindi rin nya malilimutan na si renjun rin ang nag google search ng scientific name ng pakwan jusko lord.

matapos masundo ni jaemin ang kambal sa bahay ng mga lee ay kaagad silang dumiretso sa jollibee drive thru para sa pagkain nila for their mini picnic sa park near their village. may sariling mundo ang kambal sa passengers seat, nag-uusap na sila lang ang nagkakaintindihan dahil sa baby talk language na walang kaide-ideya si jaemin kung ano bang pinagsasabi nila.

"sewi, mik!" (sevi, milk!) michelle lanatus said na agad tinugunan ni jaemin. inabot niya ang baby bag ng kambal at kinuha ang gatas ni michelle saka ibinigay ito. miel citrullus looks perfectly fine habang busy laruin ang baby toy na hawak-hawak. the twins calls him sevi derived from his second name 'seveline', renjun taught the kids that nickname para madali lang nila ma-address ang ninong jaemin nila lalo pa't si jaemin ang paboritong ninong ng kambal. (duda siya na sinuhulan ni mark ang kambal para maging favorite ninong dahil galante sya as a person.)

as soon as makuha na nila ang takeout food nila ay binaybay na nila ang daan papunta sa park kung saan doon sila palagi tumatambay kapag si jaemin ang nag-aalaga sa kambal. hindi naman sya unemployed, sadyang boss lang talaga sya kaya hawak nya ang oras nya at eto namang kaibigan nyang si mark ay opportunista rin dahil ginagamit niya ang pagiging boss ni jaemin para siya ang makapag-alaga sa kambal.

tuwang-tuwa ang kambal nang makita na ang parke kung saan hindi naman karamihan ang tao. mangilan-ngilan lang ang mga bata, sakto lang kumbaga. nang makapag-park ng kotse si jaemin ay agad nyang inalalayan ang dalawa para makababa sa kotse at makapag-ayos na ng mini-picnic nila.

michelle ran her way to the seesaw alongside miel at umupo ang dalawa sa magkabilang dulo. panatag naman si jaemin dahil alam nyang hindi naman pasaway at malikot ang kambal, nakikinig naman ito  at sumusunod. kinikilig tuloy siya, pakiramdam nya may mga anak na siya at sobrang tatay-like na.

nakabantay lang si jaemin sa kambal na ngayon naman ay nakikilaro na sa ibang mga bata. punong-puno ang puso nya with the sight of the kids in front, happily playing, young and carefree. jaemin could only wish he could go back to being a kid na ang tanging problema lamang sa buhay ay pano isesekreto sa mama nya na nagastos nya yung pera sa credit card para sa online games.

hay, nakakamiss. he thought to himself.

inilibot ni jaemin ang tingin sa paligid, he saw two college students outside the park, yung isa nakaupo sa pavement while yung isa ay nakatayo at nakasandal sa railings habang may yosi na naka-ipit sa pagitan ng kanilang mga daliri. the two college students looks like they are talking with each other, just like the after dismissal yosi break after a long day inside school.

he suddenly miss his college life. ganyan na ganyan silang dalawa ni mark kapag sobrang stressed na sa acads. yosi break, kwentuhan, kakain ng tuhog-tuhog o di kaya'y iinom. greatest highlight talaga ng buhay kolehiyo nya ang makilala ang taong sigurado syang makakasama na nya habang buhay at pipiliin nya lagi't lagi. with the image of the two students he saw, jaemin suddenly had the chance to walk down the memory lane he will never forget,

“gago finals week na naman, stressed na stressed na ko. may kilala ka ba?” jaemin asked mark after nya maibuga ang usok mula sa kanyang bibig. Nakaupo lang ito sa pavement habang si mark naman ay nakatayo at nakasandal sa rails habang may yosi na naka-ipit sa pagitan ng kanyang mga daliri.

tumango ito at tiningnan ang kaibigan, “meron na meron bro! Sabihin mo lang kung anong department ang gusto mo at akong bahala sayo.” Saad ni mark na may ngisi sa labi, ang Mr. Congeniality ng department nila dahil halos kilala at kaibigan ng student body kaya pa malakas ang kapit. umiling si jaemin, “korni na nung per department, tsaka parang natikman ko na rin naman lahat eh. Sa tropa mo ba wala kang ibubugaw sakin?”

“oh loko, ngayon naman mga kaibigan ko? Tangina hindi pwede mga ‘yun tsaka wala akong tiwala sayo, tungek!” natatawang sabi ni mark kaya binato siya ni jaemin ng maliit na bato na napulot niya sa lapag. “panget ka-bonding amputa.” Bulong ni jaemin pero narinig naman ito ng kasama kaya tumawa lang ulit ito.

“biro lang, may tropa akong katulad mo na hayok rin. Diba trip mo mga ganun?” tanong ni mark saka humigop sa hawak na stick ng yosi at marahan itong ibinuga sa hangin. “hayok ‘yon pre kagaya mo kaya sure akong magkakasundo kayo.”

mukhang nakumbinsi naman si jaemin kaya tumango ito, “oks, anong pangalan?”

“huang renjun, 2nd year medtech. Sikat ‘yun kasi pogi tas crush ng mga taga-roque ruano, single at walang balak magcommit kaya ligtas ka pre. for sure naman kilala mo tropa ko diba?” pag kwento ni mark habang tinatapakan ang yosi sa kongkretong lapag dahil ubos na rin. marahang itinaas ni jaemin ang kilay at tumango, "weh? sure ka jan? baka mamaya pagkatapos ko laplapin, habulin naman ako non?" 

tiningnan siya ni mark na parang siya na yata pinaka tangang tao sa mundo, may halong pangmamata pa mula ulo hanggang paa. "ang kapal mo talaga kahit kelan. tiwala ako ron sa kaibigan ko na hinding-hindi ka non hahabulin at gugustuhin. ang alam ko nga hindi niya type mga tulad mong gago," ani mark habang pinipilit buksan ang balot ng maxx candy na kulay yellow. "baka nga ikaw pa maghabol don eh." at tumawa ito na labas sa ilong.

ngumisi si jaemin at umiling-iling saka pa umihip sa yosi na paubos na rin at tinapakan na ito sa lapag, halatang hindi parin kombinsido sa sinabi ng kaibigan.

sino ba naman kasi ang hindi magkakagusto sa isang Jaemin Seveline Na ng Civil Engineering Department diba? nasa kanya na raw kasi ang lahat; gwapo, matangkad, matalino, self-proclaimed mabait, mayaman, at kaya kang dalhin sa langit according to him. wala pa sa kanyang hindi nagkakagusto, halos lahat ng nakamomol at naka-sex nya'y kinaumagahan pagka-alis niya'y magtetext ang mga ito kung pwede pa ba silang magkita o di kaya'y aamin ang mga ito na gusto nila ang binata.

on his case, ayaw nya ng commitment. hindi dahil takot siya magmahal o hindi kaya'y may commitment issues sya, ayaw nya lang talaga kasi pakiramdam niya hindi pa niya nakikita yung taong mamahalin niya ng lubos at pipiliin niya lagi't lagi ano man ang mangyari, yung taong gusto nyang makasama hanggang nabubuhay pa siya sa mundong ibabaw.

"sinabi ko na kay renjun pre, available daw siya bukas ng 11am kasi free cut nila, ano? g ba?" anunsyo ni mark na naka focus sa phone at nagtatype. 

jaemin patted mark's shoulder, "yeah sure, send mo nalang sakin number niya para kami nalang mag-usap." and mark only raised his thumb signaling 'ok' to his friend.

umalis na si jaemin at iniwan si mark na busy may ka-chat, bigla niyang naalala ang mga sinabi ng kaibigan kanina. napangisi naman sya dahil sya? si na jaemin? hindi magugustuhan ng kahit sino? impossible.

idinikit nya ang dila sa gilid ng pisngi nya't napailing nalang dahil sobrang (naoffend) nanliit ang ego at umandar na god complex nya, "ako ang hinahabol, hindi ang naghahabol."

bagsak ang balikat ni jaemin paglabas niya ng room matapos sumabak sa isang surprised quiz, mabuti na lang talaga nag eexist sa kanya ang stock knowledge dahil kung hindi ay lagot na lang talaga siya at lulunukin na lang niya ang tumataginting na cinco mula sa prof nya.

"tanginang buhay 'to," sambit niya mag-isa habang binabaybay ang daan palabas ng department nila. sakto naman na nagring ang phone nya, indikasyon na may nagtext. huminto siya para kunin ang cellphone sa kanyang bulsa, bumungad sa screen niya ang isang unknown number kaya agad niya itong binuksan para basahin,

"hi, i'm renjun. mark told me you're up for some sesh daw. i'm g rin, meet me outside the main gate na lang hehe. i'm wearing my unif ngayon pero kapag may nakita kang cute na guy ako na yon xD see you!" 

jaemin found himself smiling ridiculously after reading renjun's message. he remembered hindi nya nga pala natext si renjun kaya he was wondering for a short moment why renjun suddenly messaged him. he didn't bothered himself replying at pumunta nalang ng main gate to meet the guy he'll be meeting.

as soon as he arrived he spotted a cute guy standing at the side, looking like he's waiting for someone. 

"cute nga."  jaemin said while walking his way to approach renjun. as renjun turned his head to jaemin's direction, their eyes met. renjun flashed a small smile at him which he gladly gave in too and flashed his smile at the latter. 

"kanina ka pa?" jaemin asked casually para hindi mukhang awkward ang ambiance. he don't want renjun to feel awkward around him dahil he's not talkative pa naman with strangers. actually it's a bold move for him to initiate first than the usual na maghihintay nalang sya kung kakausapin ba sya o hindi.

renjun shook his head, "hindi naman, malapit lang tinambayan namin ng friends ko kaya mabilis ako nakarating dito." he explained kaya jaemin only nodded his head, left with no words to say. not gonna lie, he feels intimidated and shy with renjun, mukha kasi itong masungit at mukhang bigla nalang manghahamon ng sabunutan out of the blue o di kaya kapag may sinabi ka na hindi niya nagustuhan. jaemin mentally shook his head nalang and shifted his attention to renjun. 

"kumain ka na ba?" tanong nito. jaemin's brows shot up instantly with the question, ang unexpected kasi. mukhang nagyayaya si renjun ng gala or hang out kesa makipag momol sa palagay ni jaemin. pero dahil well-mannered siya at sumagot parin ito sa tanong, "ah hindi pa eh, katatapos ko lang from a class kaya dumiretso ako dito to meet you. how about you?"

renjun pouted and placed his hand on his tummy while shaking his head, "hindi pa eh. tara, kain tayo." 

jaemin's about to speak nang hilahin siya ni renjun bigla papunta sa isang kainan sa tapat ng university. gulong-gulo si jaemin ngayon, hindi naman kasi ito yung ipinunta niya dito, hindi siya nakipagkita para kumain lang, pero to his surprise ay wala naman sa kanyang kaso na kumakain sila literal imbes na mag momol.

in the end, wala na nagawa si jaemin kundi kumain nalang rin. gutom na rin naman sya plus namiss nya rin kumain ng siomai rice. ilang araw nang walang siomai rice na nananalaytay sa dugo niya dahil sa wala siyang oras para mandayo pa't kumain, thanks to renjun na rin dahil nakakain siya ng lowkey food na kine-crave nya these days.

"magkaiba ba tayo ng inorder? pareho lang naman na siomai rice 'tong kinakain natin pero bakit ang lawak ng ngiti mo dyan?" napukaw ang atensyon ni jaemin sa tanong ng kasama, hindi niya namalayan nakangiti pala sya habang kumakain. "pero in fairness naman sayo, ang gwapo mo kapag nakangiti," renjun said while dipping his extra siomai in his sauce. nag-angat ito ng tingin kay jaemin bago isubo ang siomai sa bibig, "ngiti ka palagi, smiling looks good on you." he added that made jaemin flustered. 

jaemin just chuckled and scratched the back of his neck, feeling embarrassed. "do you always talk like that? you're such a smooth talker eh." jaemin said. the latter rolled his eyes in a joking manner, "smooth talker agad? honest lang naman eh! atsaka basing on your looks mukhang sanay ka naman na kino-compliment, so why are you flustered?'' 

its true, sanay na sanay si jaemin makatanggap ng mga papuri. halos ulanin at bahain siya ng mga compliments kaya alam nyang gwapo talaga siya, sobrang aware siya dahil na rin sa mga taong nakapaligid sa kanya na halos palamunin siya ng mga katotohanan kung gaano siya kagwapo, halata naman sa god complex nya. pero nakakapanibago lang dahil ngiti niya ang pinupunto rito at hindi ang kabuuan niya as a person physically. sobrang genuine at soft ng compliment na yon, wholesome kumbaga.

"i heard so much about you from mark." renjun said na nakapause kumain para mangchika sa kasama. jaemin looks interested kaya nakikinig ito ng mabuti, "talaga? about saan naman?"

"tungkol sa mga kabalastugan mo sa buhay." diretsong sabi ni renjun kaya nabulunan ang kasama nya. imbes na abutan ng tubig ay humalakhak pa si renjun habang nag-aagaw buhay na si jaemin. walang choice si jaemin kundi tulungan ang sarili dahil wala siyang matatanggap na tulong sa kasama dahil busy ito tumawa na halos maluha na.

as soon as jaemin felt better, he threw daggers at renjun while the latter just stuck his tongue out and giggled.

tangina mamamatay ako nang maaga dito. 

"hey hindi ko kasalanan na yun ang mga ikinuwento ni mark sakin! ano ba kasi aasahan mo sakanya eh siraulo rin yun? no wonder tropa kayo eh." he explained. "tsaka kilala na rin kita, crush ka ng buong sambayanan eh. kahit blockmates ko ikaw bukambibig, pati kaibigan kong si haechan ikaw din chini-chika sakin eh hindi naman ako interesado." ani renjun kaya natigilan si jaemin.

"hindi ka interesado sakin?" tanong nito na parang gulat na gulat, itinuro pa nito ang sarili. renjun looked weirded out but continued to nod his head, "hindi naman kita trip eh." he pointed out to the guy in front of him.

"then that explains why we're eating rather than making out?" 

napa-palakpak si renjun at itinuro si jaemin, "natumpak mo!" 

what the hell?

"then why did you agree to meet me? you also said sesh diba? akala ko g ka?" sunod-sunod na tanong ni jaemin. renjun only laugh and continue eating his last remaining siomai on his plate.

after finishing chugging his buko juice na nilibre ni jaemin sa kanya, renjun looked at jaemin na naghihintay parin ng sagot. napangisi tuloy mentally si renjun, halatang natakpan ego. he thought.

"pumayag ako para tigilan na ako ni mark sa pangungulit nya, tinadtad ako ng chat magdamag, kinukulit ako na pumayag na ko kasi sobrang kailangan mo raw talaga." upon hearing renjun's words ay naalala ni jaemin kung bakit tutok na tutok ang kaibigan sa cellphone na wari'y may kausap. tarantadong mark talaga.

"and for the sesh na sinabi ko, eto na yon. chibog sesh, ganern!" he said, emphasizing the word 'ganern' matched with his sassy look. "akala mo momol 'no? nakikipag momol naman talaga ako pero hindi sa tipo mo, okay? may preferences parin naman ako. sadyang di ka lang talaga pasok so sorry. tingin ko rin mas kailangan mo mag chill at mag relax in the form of pahinga and hang out kesa makipag bugbugan gamit ang bibig. i hope i made myself clear to you, jaemin. i have to go, see you when i see you." renjun said before standing up, ready to leave.

nakakailang hakbang palang si renjun nang may braso na pumatong sa balikat niya. when he looked up to see who it is, he saw jaemin smiling at him like a fool while clinging his arm on his shoulder. he looks laid back and fine compared kanina na halos mawarak na ego dahil lang hindi siya interesado sa kanya unlike the others na halos mabaliw na sa lalaking nakaakbay sa kanya.

"luh, maka-akbay kala mo tropa?" prangka na tanong ni renjun, wala man lang talagang preno ang bibig. the latter nodded his head, "tropa na tayo, diba?" 

"kelan pa?"

inilagay ni jaemin ang kamay sa ilalim ng baba na wari'y nagiisip ng malalim, "simula nung kinain mo yung isang siomai ko nung umalis ako para bumiling buko juice." nakakalokong sambit ni jaemin kaya natawa si renjun, "heh!" akmang manununtok si renjun pero umilag si jaemin, hindi parin tinatanggal ang pagkaka-akbay sa kasama.

jaemin finds himself laughing comfortably and happily with renjun's jokes and chikas. it's been a while since he laughed this hard and he couldn't even remember the last time he was happy. it feels like renjun is a breather from all the stress he's experiencing from academics to his personal life.

maybe, maybe keeping renjun around is okay. he's different and he feels thrilled knowing the guy doesn't even like him a bit nor interested in him. it urges him to befriend the latter and pursue him or annoy the hell out of him. but in all honesty, the moment renjun told him those words that kind of hurt his ego was the moment he knew he would not stop bothering the guy.

or is it safe to say that he sees renjun as a challenge? we'll never know.

"sewi!" (sevi!) miel ran his way to his ninong jaemin who's busy preparing michelle's meryenda. busy itong maghimay ng chicken para makain ni michelle. hindi pa rin kasi pwede ang kambal ng mga solid foods as said by the twin's parents. umupo si miel sa tabi ni jaemin at kinuha ang milk bread na dala ni jaemin. miel loves milk bread, renjun was the one who introduced milk bread to the child which he later on loved it. sobrang laki ng impluwensiya nilang magjowa sa anak ng kaibigan niya, halos dun na rin tumira ang kambal sa bahay nila na supportado naman ni mark, dumating pa ito sa bahay ng magjowa bitbit ang mga gamit ng kambal. 

hinila ni miel ang laylayan ng damit ni jaemin para maagaw ang atensyon nito. "hmm?" jaemin responded, still preparing michelle's snack. "sewi, call juju!" (sevi, call renjun!)

"oh shi— oo nga pala, thank you for reminding me pakwan number 1." jaemin ruffled miel's hair na busy kumain ng milk bread nya. nang masettle na ang kambal ay kinuha nya na ang phone nya para tawagan ang boyfriend niya para mainis nanaman ito.

after a few rings ay agad naman sumagot si renjun sa tawag, "hi jo, you called?" renjun asked. hindi naman umiimik si jaemin dahil pinapakinggan niya lang ang boses ng nobyo. mukha siyang teenager na nagpipigil ng kilig dahil kinausap siya ng crush nya.

"jaem? are you still there?"  

"juju!" michelle squealed that made jaemin laugh, he heard renjun giggled from the other line. "kamusta kayo ng kambal dyan?"  

"we're good naman po my love. busy sila kumain ngayon kasi meryenda time na. ikaw, kumain ka na?" jaemin noticed na kumalat ang kinakain ni miel sa mukha nito kaya agad niya itong pinunasan with their wet wipes na dala niya placed inside the baby bag, "hindi pa eh, i'm still busy with my patient's records. later na lang my love." maamong sambit ni renjun but jaemin hissed jokingly,

"kumain ka, huang renjun kung ayaw mo sugurin ka namin nila miel citrullus at michelle lanatus dyan sa ospital." seryosong pagbabanta ni jaemin sa nobyo pero tanging "tarantado." lamang ang natanggap niya.

"my love kain ka na please?" jaemin even used his infamous baby talking voice and beautiful eyes kahit hindi naman siya nakikita ni renjun. the latter still said, "later, jaemin seveline."  

"edi don't." he surrendered. natawa si renjun dahil kahit kelan ang sakit talaga sa ulo ni jaemin, kung gano ka-consistent as a boyfriend si jaemin ay ganun rin ito ka-consistent mang-asar at manira ng araw lalo na kapag trip ka talaga nyang abalahin. akala mo hindi tumanda at asal bata parin lalo na kapag magkakasama si jaemin, ang kambal ng pamilya lee at unico hijo ni haechan. 

pakiramdam ni renjun kahit nasa bahay na sya nasa pediatric ward parin sya kapag nasa bahay nila ang mga bata, ang nobyo niya at si mark.

"baby, do you want us to go there?" the shift on jaemin's voice sent butterflies to renjun's stomach, ilang taon na silang mag jowa pero parang kailan lang naging sila kung umasta.

"huwag na my love, i'll see you nalang sa bahay later. satin na naman ba matutulog ang kambal?"

sinilip ni jaemin ang kambal na kumakain parin sa tabi niya, "hindi yata baby ko, ihahatid ko sila pauwi kahit sabihin pa ni mark na satin ulit sila matutulog, gusto kita solohin ngayong gabi eh!" nagmamaktol na sabi ni jaemin, binabaan nito ang boses dahil sa takot na marinig ng kambal, "tangina mo kasi mark lee pakatamad mo mag-alaga ng bata hinayupak ka ang mamahal na nga ng regalo ko sa mga anak mo, ako parin nag-aalaga? di rin naman ako bayad dito jusko hesus." dagdag nito kaya halos humagalpak na si renjun ng tawa. jaemin stopped and listened carefully to renjun who's laughing heartily on the other line.

he remembered how renjun made him so happy way back in college up until now, from their endless banters, corny pick up lines and jokes, their chikahan galore, spontaneous rendezvous, siomai rice sessions and just by existing, renjun made jaemin the happiest. he's the only reason why jaemin stays sane, his only lifeline, his compass and his home.

and jaemin doesn't know how to continue without him, without renjun.

"jaemin tantanan mo nga ako buong magdamag ka na lang nakabuntot sakin! wala ka bang pasok?!" iritang tanong ni renjun na halos kulubot na ang noo at magkasalubong na ang kilay dahil magmula pa kaninang magsimula ang free cut ni jaemin ay tinunton niya kung nasaan si renjun. mula engineering department ay binaybay talaga niya papuntang med department dahil nalaman nya from a reliable source (read: haechan) na nasa med dept. ito at nagpapalipas ng oras dahil saktong wala ang prof nila't nag-iwan lang ng reading mats for their discussion at recits tomorrow.

tanghaling tapat nalang at lahat ay nakasunod parin si jaemin kay renjun para mang-asar at manira ng araw. magmula nang maging 'magkaibigan' sila (according to jaemin friends na raw sila the moment na nahuli niyang dumekwat si renjun ng siomai sa kaniya) ay walang araw na hindi tinigilan bwisitin at asarin ni jaemin si renjun. mapa-personal pa man yan o hanggang social media. sobrang consistent at dedicated mang-ulol. 

"isang-isa nalang talaga Jaemin Seveline Na baka hindi ako makapag-timpi at masuntok kita." ani renjun na pinapakalma ang sarili. "tangina mo ang altapresyon ko tumataas dahil sayo." dugtong nito.

jaemin smirked, "ang gwapo pala ng second name ko kapag ikaw nagsasabi eh. please sabihin mo ulit!" 

"begging kink mo lumalabas." halakhak realness si renjun dahil namula si jaemin with what he just exposed. "huli ka bobo!" at tinusok-tusok nito ang tagiliran ng mas nakakabata. sinubukan ni jaemin na huwag mag react pero mas mapilit si renjun na wari'y bumabawi sa pangaasar sa kanya ni jaemin kanina. it looks like they are both hugging each other dahil hinawakan ni jaemin ang isang kamay ni renjun at inilagay ito sa likod habang nakaharap sa kanya ang binata, face to face ganon.

"jaemin para ka talagang gago bitaw sabi—" renjun wasn't able to finish what he's about to say when jaemin said, "say my second name again first, i wanna hear it from you."

jaemin doesn't like being called with his second name, hindi daw kasi bagay sa kanya. ngayon lang sya nagka-interest na mapakinggan ang second name nya dahil tunog sosyal pala ito kung si renjun ang nagsabi. (talk about selective hearing yarne). renjun leaned closer, stopping midway, leveled his lips with his ear. "you love my accent so much?" renjun asked with a registered low voice. jaemin nodded continuously, wari'y lasing mula sa boses ni renjun. "yes, say it again…"

jaemin felt renjun's lips touched his earlobe for a while, his breathing seemed shaky and attractive. the sensation that jaemin feels enough to feel those butterflies inside his stomach, jaemin hitched his voice when he heard renjun's voice saying,

"sehbhielin."

and the only thing that he could hear was renjun laughing all over the place. sobrang gago talaga ni renjun and he doesn't even know it! jaemin found out he’s also laughing alongside renjun with his silly remark about his second name. hindi naman mababaw ang kaligayahan ni jaemin, hindi pa naman ganung kasira ang humor nya unlike sa kasama niyang kahit simpleng bagay ay nagagawa parin niya itong tawanan and jaemin finds it endearing sa totoo lang. renjun may look so intimidating and scary but once na nagsalita na ito at tumawa ay makakalimutan mong na-intimidate ka sa kanya once in your life. hindi naman kailangan magtagal pa lalo para lang makita ni jaemin na renjun sees the good in everything which he truly adores about him.

ilang buwan palang sila magkaibigan pero jaemin seems to know renjun like they’ve been friends since forever. ika nga niya ay parang open book si renjun, hindi na niya kailangan magkwento para makilala mo dahil siya na mismo ang magpapakita sayo kung sino siya. jaemin likes renjun’s boldness, free-spiritedness and his kind soul. 

renjun was never a mystery for him but rather a book he wanted to read until the last page. he finds everything in him interesting and lovable to the point that he can’t even stop himself from admiring him.

sobrang dalang-dala na si jaemin kay renjun, ni hindi na ito makaahon paalis; tila hulog na hulog na. nang malaman ‘yun ni mark ay isang malutong na halakhak lamang ang natanggap ni jaemin mula sa kaibigan. “ano pre, nabusog ka ba?” tumatawa pa rin na tanong ni mark.

kunot noo na nagtanong si jaemin, “saan?” naalala niya naman kasi hindi pa siya kumakain kaya paano sya mabubusog?

“sa mga kinain mong salita?” umiling-iling si mark at pinakyuhan si jaemin na mukhang naaasar na sa gilid, “hindi pala naghahabol ha! eh halos ampunin ka na ng department at blockmates ni renjun kakasunod at habol mo dun sa tao. ano bro, gano mo na kagusto kaibigan ko?”

nagsindi muli si jaemin ng sigarilyo at tahimik na humithit saka ibinuga ang usok papuntang kawalan, “15mL pre.” tarantadong sagot ni jaemin kaya humahalakhak na naman si mark at pinili na lang mag cellphone dahil wala rin naman siyang mapapala na sagot mula sa kaibigan nyang tinamaan na ng lintik.

pero totoo naman ang sagot niya, hindi pa man puno pero alam niyang papunta na siya roon. hindi pa nag uumapaw pero lunod na lunod na siya kay renjun… at wala rin naman siyang balak umahon. walang-wala.

“jo, sana alam mo na ang pagmamahal ko sayo mas malalim pa sa pacific ocean.” banat ni jaemin kaya natawa nanaman si renjun mula sa kabilang linya, “puro ka kagaguhan kahit kailan! i’ll hang up na baby para matapos na ko agad. i think maaga ako makakauwi kaya ako nalang magluluto ng dinner mamaya.” renjun said and those line never failed to make jaemin’s heart flutter over and over again.

“jo…” jaemin called seriously, hindi makapa ni renjun kung nagbabalak nanaman ba itong pagtripan siya o ano but he still chose to answer, “hmm?”

dalawang kataga. dalawang kataga na nagkukubli ng libo-libong mga salita na para lamang kay renjun, para lamang sa kanya. “mahal kita.” 

“mahal rin kita.” bulong ni renjun na siyang dahilan ng pag ngiti ni jaemin at nang pagsabog ng puso niya sa saya. “alam ko, crush na crush mo ko eh.” litanya ni jaemin kaya walang ano-ano ay ibinaba na ni renjun ang tawag kaya tumawa na lang siya dahil naasar na naman nya ang nobyo.

marami nagsasabi na swerte si renjun dahil pinili siya ni jaemin, but he begs to disagree. jaemin believes na kung may swerte man sa kanilang dalawa ay siya iyon, dahil siya ang pinili at minahal ni renjun. mahal na mahal niya ang binata, mas nadadagdagan pa nga bawat araw eh, at naiintindihan naman ni jaemin kung bakit— kamahal-mahal naman talaga si renjun. hinding-hindi siya mapapagod piliin ang minamahal, sigurado na rin naman siyang si renjun ang kasama niya sa simula nang pagtapak nya sa panghabang buhay na pangako at pagmamahal, kamay ni renjun ang tanging hahawakan niya sa bawat pagsubok at kaligayahan, at tanginang si renjun lang ang pipiliin niyang makasama kahit hanggang sa kabilang buhay pa man.

sino nga naman talaga ang mag-aakala na si Jaemin Seveline Na ang maghahabol kay Renjun Nikolai Huang? sinong mag-aakala na kakainin niya rin pala mga salitang binitawan niya? nakakatawang isipin dahil sobrang confident pa ni jaemin na siya ang hahabulin dahil nga gwapo siya (sabi ng halos kabuuan ng student body way back in college) pero tingnan mo nga naman, ilang taon na siyang whipped at simp para sa nag-iisang Huang Renjun M.D diba? 

renjun was jaemin's all firsts; first friend from his 'almost' sexcapades, first one to tell him he's not interested on him, first one to break his ego, first one to tame him, his first proper crush, his first heartache and his first love. college was the phase of their lives where it was truly messy and heartbreaking but at the same time, blissful and carefree.

kung tatanungin mo si jaemin kung gugustuhin niyang bumalik sa college ay siguradong gugustuhin niya to fix what needs to be fixed and mend what's broken.

jaemin witnessed every good and bad things renjun received. he was there when renjun was floating in cloud 9, he was there to witness his pretty smiles, his contagious laughs, he was there to witness renjun grow and he was there too when renjun got his first heartbreak. he was the one to wipe those tears and be his crying shoulder whenever renjun needed him.

jaemin was selfless— for renjun. kung nakita mo lang kung gaano nagsakripisyo si jaemin for renjun's sake ay siguradong tataas ang altapresyon mo. kumbaga, renjun above everything else ang motto ni jaemin. wala siyang ibang ginusto at hinangad kundi maging masaya lang si renjun, na bumalik na ang mga tala sa mga mata niya. jaemin saw the universe inside renjun's eyes, he really thinks renjun was really loved by the gods for them to place the universe inside his eyes.

jaemin really finds renjun beautiful— no. beautiful is an understatement; he's breathtaking. and jaemin wishes renjun knows that, he deserves to know that loving him is easy, light and free.

handa siyang mag backup for renjun once na masaktan ito, kumbaga 'shooters for renjun Real!' lang. there was a time way back in college na binakuran niya si renjun sa mga balak manligaw sa kanya noon, saying that no one passes as someone who's deserving of renjun. actually, no one deserves renjun— the world doesn't deserve him. gatekeeping him was his only way para hindi masaktan ang kaibigan, yun lang naman kasi ang alam niyang paraan para maprotektahan si renjun. jaemin acknowledges that it is indeed toxic, deciding whats best for renjun; no excuses for that. hindi niya maamin na gusto niya si renjun, hindi niya masabi na gusto niya si renjun higit pa bilang kaibigan lang. hindi niya masabi hindi dahil mahirap; hindi niya masabi dahil natatakot siya. alam niya na renjun doesn't feel the same way as him. para kay renjun, hanggang doon lang, hindi sosobra at hindi rin magkukulang; hanggang dito lang. at nirerespeto yun ni jaemin, ayaw niyang masira kung ano man ang meron sa kanila ni renjun, sapat na sa kanya na nasa likod lang siya ng kaibigan, okay na siya sa ganon.

o akala nya lang?

"injun!" sabay nabaling ang tingin ni jaemin at renjun sa boses ni haechan na papalapit sa kanila. mukhang lasing na ito at hindi siya nag-iisa dahil may kasama siyang isang matangkad na lalaki at hindi pamilyar sakanila. kasalukuyan silang nasa club sa bgc dahil nag-aya si haechan na uminom dahil sa wakas ay 3rd year na sila, renjun agreed to come at sumama lang rin si jaemin out of renjun's decision.

nang makalapit si haechan at ang kasama niya sa pwesto nila ay agad niyang ipinakilala ang kasama kay renjun. "injun, this is jeno! my friend from ateneo. he's my taurus friend na takot sa commitment kaya ingat ka dyan!" natawa naman renjun pero inianot parin niya ang kamay sa lalaking nasa harap niya, "i'm renjun, Renjun Nikolai Huang." he introduced himself. 

tahimik lang na nagmamasid si jaemin, from the looks of the guy standing in front of him ay halata namang tipo niya si renjun. gusto tuloy niyang umirap, 'lamang lang naman ng konting balde si gago.' sambit niya sa sarili.

the tall guy reached for renjun's hand, “Nice to meet you, renjun. i’m jeno, Jeno Gabriel Lee.” jeno's eyes diverted to jaemin na nakatayo lang sa likod ni renjun, "jeno, bro." he offered to do a hand shake and jaemin being well-mannered is he took his hand and shake it mildly, "jaemin seveline, pare." 

iniikot ni renjun ang ulo para makita si jaemin, nakakunot noo siya at mukhang nang-aasar dahil nagpakilala ito with his second name na ayaw na ayaw niya in the first place. ngumuso si jaemin, signaling renjun to focus on jeno instead of picking on him which the latter complied right after. 

jaemin was annoyed the whole night pero hindi niya ipinakita kay renjun, ayaw niyang masira ang mood ng kasama dahil lang nagseselos siya, after getting to know each other ay jeno decided  to join them sa table para makipagkwentuhan. si renjun at jeno lang naman ang nag-uusap, pinili na lang ni jaemin na manahimik sa tabi ni renjun habang naglalaro ng cod at ka-team si mark, hindi ito sumama sa pagcla-clubbing nila dahil tinatamad raw siya lumabas. nakikinig lang siya sa usapan ng dalawa habang naglalaro, naririnig niya ang pasimpleng pagpapa-good shot nung jeno kay renjun. napag-alaman niyang 3rd year liberal arts student si jeno, taking up Political Science sa ateneo, (dahil medyo short ang attention span niya ay medyo napaisip siya kung gaano kalawak ang friend group ni haechan just like mark.) kaya medyo natigilan siya dahil according to renjun ay mga liberal arts student ang tipo niya. 

jaemin 'tsked', marahan niyang kinalabit si renjun para magpaalam na magyoyosi lang mabilis. renjun nodded and even said, "balik ka kaagad ah?" with his infamous pa-cute charms whenever may favor siyang hihingiin kay jaemin na walang kupas naman dahil sobrang effective at palaging gumagana. 

'tangina mo jaemin, hulog na hulog ka na.' he thought to himself.

true to his words ay agad bumalik si jaemin sa loob only to see haechan on their table, drunk and asleep. walang renjun at jeno kung saan sila nakapwesto kanina bago siya lumabas.

"tangina nadekwat na nung bortang atenista si renjun." bulong niya sa sarili. pinuntahan niya si haechan para gisingin at alalayan, marahan niya itong tinapik sa pisngi. "haechan, gising. lika na, uuwi na tayo." 

haechan hums, "si injun pa…"

tila may pait sa dila ni jaemin nang sabihin niya na "wala na si renjun dito, haechan." 

tila nagising si haechan sa narinig. "ahh oo nga pala, i heard them talking about one night stand kanina, i guess madidiligan si renjun tonight."

yun ang huling balita na narinig ni jaemin tungkol kay renjun. ilang araw niyang hindi nakita ang kaibigan, tila naging MIA. nagrereply naman siya sa texts ni jaemin kahit papano kaya nga lang ay sobrang ikli at tila kamustahan lang ang usapan at hindi na humahaba pa, pero iba parin kapag nakita na niya ng personal si renjun. all he could do is wait for him to show up, araw-araw naghihintay siya sa typical na kainan kung saan doon sila palagi kumakain ng siomai rice, araw-araw nandoon siya; umaasa na may isang huang renjun ang magpapakita sa kanya.

wala naman nagbago sa mga ginagawa ni jaemin; palagi parin siyang dumadayo sa department nila renjun, laging naghihintay kung kailan niya ulit ito makakasama at makakakwentuhan, nagbabaka sakali parin siya na isang araw susulpot si renjun sa kainan kung saan doon siya palagi naghihintay sa kanya. mark even pointed out to him na lahat ng oras at enerhiya niya sa pang araw-araw ay nabubuhos na niya kakahintay at kaka-abang kay renjun. hindi naman nagkamali si mark at hindi iyon itatanggi ni jaemin, pero wala naman siyang pakialam, gusto niya lang makita at malaman kung kamusta na si renjun.

nasanay siyang laging nandyan si renjun, na isang tawag o text lang, isang aya mo lang na "tara, siomai rice." ay nandyan na ito.

hindi alam ni jaemin na sa pagdating pala ni jeno, doon pala titigil ang lahat. 

o baka naman hindi tumigil kase ang totoo ay napalitan lang siya?

"naghihintay ka parin?" nag-angat ng tingin si jaemin at nakita niya ang pinaka hinihintay niya. 

'lagi naman kitang hinihintay, walang nagbago.' 

imbes na sabihin kung gaano na niya kamiss ang kaibigan ay mas pinili niyang magpanggap at asarin si renjun, tulad ng nakagawian. "mama mo hintay." at ngumisi ito kaya tumawa si renjun at umupo sa kabilang side ng lamesa, kaharap kay jaemin, tulad nang dati pa nilang pwesto.

ilang linggo bago niya nakita si renjun, ilang linggo siyang naghintay para makita si renjun, naghihintay na babalik siya sa kanya.

typical na asaran at kwentuhan lang, katulad ng dati. para ngang hindi sila nagkita ng ilang linggo dahil ganon parin kung paano sila dati, nung wala pang jeno na dumarating. 

napag-alaman ni jaemin na kaya biglang nawala si jeno at renjun nung gabing nasa club sila ay totoo ngang nag- one night stand sila ng atenistang kasama. nalaman din niya na sa ilang linggong pagka-MIA ni renjun ay naging fuck buddies pala ang dalawa, jeno asked renjun if gusto niya ba maging fuck buddies which renjun agreed too for some personal reasons, according to him. jaemin could only nod his head and listen carefully to renjun habang nagkkwento ito. 

bawat salitang lumalabas si bibig ni renjun na tungkol kay jeno at tila ba kutsilyong sumasaksak sa dibdib ni jaemin.

maraming nagbago. 

kung dati palagi silang magkasama ay tila ba nag-iba na ang ihip ng hangin. kung gaano kadalas si jaemin sa department ni renjun dati, ngayon naman ay hindi mo na ito makikitang palakad-lakad roon at hinahanap si renjun para mang-abala. wala na ang simpleng tagpuan at hindi na rin sila palaging nakikita nang mga nakakakilala sakanila sa kainan kung saan laging nandoon para kumain ng siomai rice.

napansin ni mark ang mga pagbabagong yun sa dalawang kaibigan. paliwanag ni jaemin ay hindi naman sila nag-away o ano, sadyang nagbabago lang talaga ang mga prayoridad ng tao at may kanya-kanyang buhay na dapat atupagin, saka papalapit na rin sila dulo ng college journey nila, kailangan nang magseryoso at hindi magsayang ng oras.

mark knows something’s wrong, something’s not clicking kumbaga pero mas pinili niyang huwag na lang makialam sa dalawa, malaki na ang mga ito at sinabi na rin mismo ni jaemin na okay lang sila kahit hindi siya naniniwala, ayaw niyang pangunahan ang dalawa; respeto na lang bilang kaibigan ng dalawa.

everything changed for jaemin, he saw how many things changed but he chose to let things go in order for renjun to be happy. ayaw niyang mag-assume pero sa tuwing nakikita niya si renjun with jeno, halata naman na masaya ito, halatang gusto niya si jeno.. kung dati, siya ang nagpapasaya kay renjun, ngayon ay si jeno na. hindi niya maiwasan na malungkot kahit papano, pero wala rin naman mangyayari kung hahayaan niyang maramdaman ito, pakiramdam niya’y ayaw niyang sumaya si renjun; so he chose to stop feeling this way and chose to move forward without renjun on his life in a daily- like how it used to be.

nang maihatid ni jaemin ang kambal pauwi sa bahay nila ay nagdrive naman siya papunta sa paboritong bilihan nila ni renjun ng siomai rice. since college, eto na ang naging go-to food nila kapag magkukwentuhan lang silang dalawa habang chumi-chibog at comfort food kapag sobrang bigat na ng lahat. kumbaga, pagod na college students fueled by siomai rice ang motto ng dalawa.

“oh bossing, siomai rice na naman ulit?” napalingon si jaemin sa boses na nagmula sa likuran niya, tumango ito bilang pagbati saka ngumiti, “kuya bert, kamusta po?” magalang na tanong nito sa bantay ng karinderya na naging go-to place na nilang mag nobyo. 

“ayos lang engineer, kayo ba? kamusta kayo ni doc?” tanong nito sa binata habang inaayos ang lalagyan ng dalawang order ng siomai rice. kilala na si jaemin at renjun sa karinderya, renjun was the one who introduced jaemin to this eatery. as someone na hindi mahilig sa high-end restaurants or fast foods ay renjun always chooses to eat at eateries dahil bukod sa mura at nakakatipid siya ay pakiramdam niya lutong bahay rin ito, and jaemin started loving simplicity and practicality just like renjun. one of the things jaemin can’t get ahold of what renjun has taught him way back in college up until now was their simple spontaneous rendezvous at siomai rice sessions nila. those simple gestures was the best thing he had knowing he’s with the love of his life.

jaemin smiled gently upon hearing the question, “okay naman po kami, kuya bert. sobrang miss na kayo nun ni renjun, sayang lang at hindi ko siya madala dito gawa nang busy siya sa ospital.” paliwanag niya habang pinapanood ang matanda na ihanda ang order niya. kuya bert smiled at what jaemin said, “kayong magnobyo talaga, hindi kayo nauubusan ng pagmamahal para sa isa’t isa ano?” 

hindi niya maiwasang hindi mapangiti, ramdam ni jaemin ang bawat paru-paro sa loob ng tiyan, kinikilig pa rin siya sa sa katotohanan na sila pa rin ni renjun hanggang ngayon, tila ba parang college student pa rin. napansin naman iyon ni mang bert at marahan na ibinitang ang order ng binata sa harap nito. nabalik sa wisyo si jaemin at pagak na tumawa, “mahal na mahal mo pa rin ano?” mang bert asked jaemin, the latter didn’t even hesitate to answer, “sobra.” 

mang bert always adores their relationship, sino ba naman kasi mag-aakala na sa hinaba-haba ng panahon, sa hinaba-haba ng paghihintay ni jaemin ay magiging sila pala? saksi si mang bert sa bawat paghihintay, bawat pagtanaw sa malayo at bawat pagkalumbay ng binata magmula pa noong kolehiyo kaya labis lang rin ang tuwa niya para sa dalawa. alam nating lahat na ang imposible na mahanap mo ang makakasama mo sa panghabam buhay sa kolehiyo, sobrang  imposible pero hindi sa kaso ni jaemin at renjun. (renjun pasend naman kami ng format ng dasal mo please.)  

“ang tagal mong hinintay pero tingnan mo ngayon, kayo pa rin. kailan mo naman balak hintayin sa harap ng altar?” 

hindi na bago kay jaemin ang ganitong mga tanong, sa tagal ba naman nila ni renjun ay akala na rin ng iba’y kasal na sila. hindi naman siya nagmamadali, ganun rin si renjun. handa naman siya pakasalan si renjun kahit anong oras pa ‘yan, kahit impromptu pa nga yan ay pakakasalan niya si renjun; pero mas mahalaga kung kailan magiging handa si renjun.

gusto niyang hintayin si renjun sa harap ng altar kapag hindi na ito naka-kadena sa nakaraan; kapag wala na itong pagaalinlangan.

"kapag handa na ho si renjun, yun lang naman ang hinihintay kong go signal."

one thing is for sure, worth the wait si renjun. kahit gaano pa 'yan katagal, willing naman si jaemin maghintay. maghihintay parin kahit matagal— basta para kay renjun. basta si renjun.

jaemin never loved someone like this before, never pa syang naging ganto ka-simp at whip for someone because he don't do feelings and relationships, but look at him now; after all this time, he's still in love and selfless.

selfless in a sense na renjun is his top priority alongside his studies and friends. despite the fact na something shifted from their friendship, jaemin decided to stay and be with renjun's side secretly. hindi man tulad ng dati na palagi syang nandyan for renjun, he makes sure na nandyan sya sa malayo to make sure na renjun is fine. tulad nalang noong everything went downhill for renjun and jeno way back in college, from their fuck buddies relationship to their personal feelings and issues, he still chose to stay with renjun.

"here." iniabot ni jaemin ang panibagong bote ng red horse kay renjun na kasalukuyang lumuluha habang nakatitig sa kawalan, tinanggap nya ito nang walang imik man lang. nalaman ni jaemin na dumiretso si renjun sa condo nya after nilang mag-usap ni jeno to end what's going on between them.

humikbi si renjun habang marahan na pinupunasan ang pisngi dahil basa na ito ng luha nya dahil kanina pa ito umiiyak. jaemin doesn't know if magtatanong ba sya para magkwento ito or hahayaan na umiyak muna at hayaan nalang na magkwento ito sakanya, but he still chose the latter as a respect na rin for his friend.

nakaupo lang silang dalawa sa sahig, tahimik na sumisimsim sa kanilang mga alak habang rinig mula sa labas ang pagbuhos ng ulan na tila ba nakikiramdam rin sa pagiyak ni renjun. ngayon lang nakita ni jaemin si renjun na ganitong lugmok at nasasaktan. sure, he saw him cry and breakdown a lot of times but this one hits differently knowing its because of someone he likes. 

jaemin was staring straight at the window to watch the droplets of rain from outside when he felt renjun placed his head on his shoulder and cried again.

hindi sya nagsalita bagkus ay kinuha lamang ang kamay ni renjun at marahan na hinahaplos ng kanyang hinlalaki ang kamay nito, hoping he'll give warmth to him. tahimik man ang pagiyak ni renjun ay alam ni jaemin na sobrang nasasaktan ito. crying silently is diffent knowing you have to contain all the pain you feel— and jaemin wants renjun to channel all his pain in forms that he likes, basta mailabas nya lang.

"you'll be alright," he whispered. 

ipinatong ni renjun ang kanyang noo sa balikat ni jaemin, "i really like him… so much that i'm willing to cross the line for him." pagsisimula nito, jaemin only hummed to signal renjun to continue, "i'm willing to try to make us work kung gusto nya rin, but unfortunately, he doesn't feel the same way. it hurts knowing we're not on the same page after all those things we've done together… i tried not to paint all those gestures with meaning, but sometimes it just hits differently— like it just feels so sincere and true." he continued while keeping the urge to release a loud sob while talking.

jaemin only closed his eyes and leaned his head closer atop renjun's head and encircled the latter inside his warm embrace. renjun only sobs while being enveloped around jaemin's arms, everything feels so heavy but thanks to jaemin, it's still bearable.

he just loves jaemin's warmth. it's so calming and nothing but peace; and he let himself to calm down inside jaemin's arms.

mas isiniksik ni renjun ang mukha sa pagitan ng balikat at leeg ni jaemin na tila ba gustong magtago mula sa nakakapagod na mundo, marahan na inaalo ni jaemin si renjun habang hinihimas ang likod nito ng dahan-dahan,

"thank you, sevi… for always being beside me." renjun whispered. renjun seldom calls him sevi, tinatawag nya lang itong sevi whenever he feels comfortable calling him that, or whenever he's happy kaya it's very dear for him to hear that nickname from him, from renjun.

the younger just smiled and placed a soft kiss on his hair before whispering, "dito lang ako, dito lang sayo."

true to his words, jaemin stayed beside renjun— just like before, before jeno came. walang araw na hindi mo sila makikitang magkasama, kapag free cut ng isa ay dadayo pa sa department ng isa para lang magkita, and everyone who witnessed their bond before became happy again seeing their bond came back.

palaging sinisigurado ni jaemin na nandyan sya lagi para kay renjun, hindi hadlang ang magkaibang program at department nilang dalawa para lang masiguro na ayos ang kaibigan. hindi naman umaangal si renjun kapag todo alaga at bantay ito sakanya kaya palagay ni jaemin ay okay lang naman ang mga ginagawa nya para sa kaibigan.

jaemin never fails to take care of renjun. he never failed to make him feel na hindi sya nag-iisa, he never failed to take renjun out for friendly dates as a distraction and at the same a breather from all the stress because of his program. renjun appreciates everything jaemin does and gives, he's glad na meron syang Jaemin Seveline Na sa buhay nya, kasi kung wala, paano nalang sya?

"kumusta charity work mo?" mark asked while flipping the pages of his book, kasama nya ngayon si jaemin sa library to research for a minor subject that is on due later at 12nn. 

umiling-iling si jaemin habang pabirong umiirap, "anong charity work? tropa mo rin 'yon hoy, i-comfort mo naman tanga!" saad nito sa kaibigan. 

"gustuhin ko man pero paano? sayo lang palagi naka-dikit, kayo lang palagi magkasama. akala ko ikaw lang ayaw humiwalay, tingnan mo ngayon dikit na dikit na sayo si nikolai." mark said as a matter of fact. jaemin spin his pen in between his fingers while scanning the pages of the book in front of him, mark even continue to say "you became his person and i hope you're aware of that, jaemin."

"i know… and he became my lifeline without me knowing it. hindi ko na kayang wala sya sa tabi ko, mark… ang hirap kapag wala sya." jaemin confessed.

mark just clicked his tongue while suppressing a smirk but he failed to do so,

"15mL parin ba?"

tumingin si jaemin sa kaibigan, "tangina pre, isang tangkeng tubig na, nag-uumapaw pa."

"welcome home, cheater." bati ni renjun kay jaemin na kakapasok pa lamang sa pinto. naka cross arms ito habang naka-dantay sa pader at seryoso lamang ang itsura.

umiling-iling si jaemin habang inaayos sa shoe rack ang sapatos. matapos nun ay humarap ito kay renjun at binigyan ng magaan na halik sa labi saka ngumiti, "pretty ng lodibabes ko kahit nakasimangot." he said habang nililingkis ang mga braso sa bewang ni renjun.

umirap ang doktor, "nakakainis naman 'to si seveline, sabayan mo naman trip ko!" angal nito sa nobyo na tumatawa nalang sa mga kalokohan ni renjun. palagay nya'y nanonood nanaman ito ng series at nadala sa mga pangyayari kaya ganito. pero madalas, hanap gulo lang si renjun talaga.

"gwapo ng boyfriend ko tapos magloloko ako? mali naman 'yon baby." jaemin said habang nakacling parin ang isang braso nya sa bewang ni renjun at akay ito papuntang kusina. agad pinaupo ni jaemin si renjun at tumayo ito sa pagitan ng legs nito habang marahan na nakatitig sa mga mata ng nobyo.

"minsan gusto ko mag-away naman tayo, seveline. awayin mo kase ako! bine-bwisit mo lang ako pero hindi mo ko hinahamon ng bardagulan eh."

jaemin wanted to laugh but he chose not to and just suppressed a smile. marahan nyang hinawi ang nakaharang na bangs sa mata ni renjun, "oh tingnan mo 'to! puro ka pakilig, hindi na tayo college." renjun said while laughing. 

"bored na bored ka na ba sa relasyon na 'to, my love? bakit hinahamon mo ko ng away?" natatawang tanong nya.

sobrang healthy ba naman kasi ng relasyon nila kaya minsan humahangad na rin si renjun ng away. but of course, jaemin being jaemin— ang hinihinging away ni renjun, nauuwi sa panglalambing nya. all the time!

"i just realized na our last fight was a long time ago… and its my fault pa," renjun murmured.

jaemin only place a soft kiss on his lover's soft hair and turned his way to prepare the table for the both of them since its dinner time already. renjun attempted to help jaemin but the latter didn't let him. hindi rin naman nagtagal until jaemin finished placing the food he bought and the adobo that renjun prepared.

"oh my god, ngayon ko lang napansin na you brought home siomai rice!" renjun said gleefully as if ngayon nalang sya ulit makakakain nito. 

parang nabalewala yung adobo ni renjun dahil mas pinili nyang kainin ang siomai rice na dala ng boyfriend nya. jaemin silently pushed his bowl of siomai rice towards renjun and ate the adobo instead.

it was a fun dinner, nagkwentuhan lang sila about their own errands earlier, mga funny encounters, rants— name it, halos lahat yata nila napapag-usapan sa kadaldalan ni renjun.

and jaemin never gets tired of hearing his lover tell great stories. he will never get tired of it. never.

as soon as matapos sila maglinis at mag asikaso ng night rituals, niyaya ni jaemin si renjun sa kanilang veranda to talk. kabado man, he still chose to continue tutal nandito nalang rin lang sya. the two of them sat beside each other, renjun placed his head on jaemin's shoulder while the latter held his hand close to his heart.

"love, can i ask you something?" jaemin asked.

"i do." renjun answered without even hesitating, "i do po, engineer Na."

natawa si jaemin at napailing, "no pa muna, i'll ask you that some other time, okay? i want to ask you something and its fine if you don't want to talk about it pa muna, i understand it naman okay?"

renjun nodded. "ask away."

he heaved a sigh, his hand clutched his lover's hand tightly but not to the extent that he'll get hurt. he's obviously nervous, hindi nya alam kung anong makukuha nyang sagot knowing na ang tagal na pero wala syang naririnig from renjun, and he just wants to hear his answer and to know if he's healed already,

"what if you see jeno one of these days, what will you do?" he asked. tahimik lang silang dalawa, dahil nga naka unan si renjun sa balikat nya ay hindi nya alam kung anong reaksyon nito, hindi pa rin ito umiimik kaya medyo kabado parin si jaemin, baka kasi magalit or ma-offend ito which is the least thing he wants to happen.

"love, as i've told you na if you can't answer pa i under—" he got caught off with renjun,

"i honestly don't know but one thing is for sure, i'm already okay and i'm already in a better place here beside you," he said. "...if ever na makita ko sya, i'd like to apologize because we ended just like that, he was a friend to me and i really treasure him rin. he became a part of my life na i will never forget. he was once a special friend to me and if we’ll have a chance to reconcile, i’d like to be friends with him again.”

humimawaly si renjun sa yakap ni jaemin habang mahigpit parin ang kapit nito sa kamay ng kasintahan, he flashed a small smile to jaemin, “i was thinking the moment you asked that if you’re worried na baka im still not over what happened to me and jeno way back in college knowing na you don’t like him pa naman- but you made me feel secure and trusted, love.” renjun kissed the back of jaemin’s hand and jaemin melted with the gesture, 

“thank you for being patient with me, hindi natin ‘to napapag-usapan before but i can really say that i’m ready now and i’m finally free from the past.”

“why are you being thankful my love? i will always be patient with you. diba nga, i told na nandito lang ako? dito lang sayo. it’s my responsibility as your partner, my job is to be with you through thick and thin, right?” jaemin said while looking at renjun’s eyes as if he held the entire universe in his eyes. just like before. it never changes, it’s still beautiful; timelessly beautiful.

lumapit si renjun para gawaran ng halik si jaemin; banayad, marahan at puno ng pagmamahal. gumanti si jaemin at mas lalong nilaliman ang halik, lumingkis ang kanyang mga kamay sa bewang ni renjun at binuhat ito para maka-kandong sakanya. mabilis na naglakbay ang mga braso ni renjun sa leeg ni jaemin at marahan nitong sinabunutan ang buhok ng nobyo.

dahan-dahang bumababa ang mga halik ni jaemin sa leeg ni renjun, habang ang isa naman ay hindi maiwasan ang mapa-ungol ng malakas at nagsimula na itong igalaw ang balakang na tila ba mas dinadagdagan ang tensyon sa pagitan nilang dalawa.

jaemin stopped peppering kisses on renjun’s neck kaya nainis ito, “love naman! pabitin ka nalang lagi.” inis nitong sabi kay jaemin. umangat ang gilid ng labi ni jaemin at nilapatan lang ng magaan na halik ang labi ni renjun, “nasa labas kasi tayo, mahal ko. rated spg ‘yon, ayoko mareklamo ng kapitbahay.” natatawa nitong sabi.

ngumisi si renjun, naka kandong parin ito kay jaemin. niyakap ng mga binti niya ang bewang ni jaemin seveline at hinalikan ang tungki ng ilong nya, “edi sa loob tayo. ako ang nasa ibabaw, deal?”

jaemin shook his head, “ayaw.”

“ang arte mo talaga jaemin seveline pasalamat ka mahal kita-” naputol ang pagr-rant ni renjun nang sunggaban sya muli ng halik ni jaemin. it lasted for minutes and it almost made renjun begged for air. halimaw talaga

“ako nalang nasa ibabaw, i wanna hear you begging baby.” renjun secretly gulped hard. ayan na si jaemin seveline, one thing about jaemin is that malakas ang stamina nito kahit hindi halata, kahit siraulo ay kayang-kaya ka dalhin sa langit. and if renjun will add another fact about jaemin is that- masarap ang kinks nito in life.

tumayo na si jaemin habang karga parin si renjun, the latter keeps on kissing jaemin’s collarbone and his weak spots kaya naririnig nyang bumubulong si jaemin, “ god, renjun… stop teasing me or i’ll make you sore again.”

again. actually, palagi naman whenever they make love. and whenever renjun is sore, it means napasarap masyado or talagang magaling lang si engineer. hindi rin naman sya nagko-complain, hello syempre gusto nya rin.

as soon as jaemin arrived in their room ay agad bumaba si renjun at hinila si jaemin, making them fall on the bed. jaemin on the top and renjun below.

walang any-any ay sumunggab ng halik si jaemin, it was aggressive- just like how renjun wants it. the doctor’s hands began travelling the wonders of his partner’s body, from his chest, to his abdomen, to his broad back. between the kisses, jaemin managed to whisper, “take off your clothes, baby.” with his low voice. syempre, sumunod naman agad si renjun. as soon as renjun took his clothes off, jaemin sucked his right nipple while he’s playing with the left one using his thumb. napa arc ng likod si renjun sa sarap at napasabunot sa buhok ni jaemin. the latter groaned and held renjun’s hand using his one hand to pin his lover’s hand above his head kaya mas lalong naturn-on si renjun, jaemin’s dominant side is showing and he loves it.

“fuck jaemin, sarap baby. do it again.” he moaned habang nakapikit. jaemin smirked and continued sucking renjun’s nipple, nilalaro nya rin ito gamit ang kanyang dila at every dampi ng dila ni jaemin ay napapamura si renjun sa sarap.

“tangina mo baby, sarap mo magsuck.” renjun said almost breathless. muntik na matawa si jaemin pero he chose not to dahil alam nyang mabbwisit si renjun kaya tinuloy nya nalang ang ginagawa.

matapos maglaro sa utong ni renjun ay agad nyang pinuntirya ang labi nito at kulang nalang ay lamugin ito sa gigil at diin ng paghalik. habang busy sa paghahalikan ay tinatanggal na ni renjun ang damit ni jaemin. napansin nya ito kaya he effortlessly take off his clothes para di na mahirapan pa si renjun. finally, jaemin let go of renjun’s hands but held his neck instead naman. naramdaman ni renjun na nilalabasan na sya ng pre-cum kahit wala pa sa kalagitnaan but understandable naman, jaemin ba naman yan? no wonder.

The room was filled with moans, deep panting, lewd sounds and a sudden phone call. mula ito sa phone ng doktor, renjun lightly taps his lover’s shoulder to excuse himself kase baka importante ito and jaemin nodded and left a light kiss on renjun’s shoulder before letting him pick up the call.

sayang. but jaemin understands. he can’t keep renjun all to himself since he’s a doctor, everyone needs him, his hopeful patients need him, too. His career is for a lifetime, and so is his love for his lover.

tumingin si jaemin kau renjun na nasa may veranda na may kausap sa phone, he looked back to the guy sitting on the bed and mouthed an i love you to him. jaemin didn’t manage to suppressed a smile and mouthed back i love you, too… palagi.

ikaw lang, lagi’t lagi.

“good morning, Mr. Seo! okay lang naman na malate ako ‘no? May ime-meet lang ako na client eh, pinapa-substitute ako ni ate seulgi eh. alam mo naman si architect, busy sa firm, eh ako rin naman kinuha nyang engineer for her new project so might as well be here for a new client. oks lang diba? sagot ko na kape nyo jan.”

“yeah sure, wala ka rin namang gagawin dito, magpapasaway ka lang nanaman.” biro ni Mr. Seo kaya natawa si jaemin, halatadong stressed na si thunders sakanya.

“yown! thanks engineer! bye po!” nakangiting paalam ni jaemin bago ibaba ang tawag. kung tutuusin di na kailangan ni jaemin mag-paalam pa dahil boss naman sya, pero syempre respeto parin sa head ng firm nila. kasalukuyang nasa coffee shop sa taguig si jaemin at hinihintay ang kliyente na ipinapakausap sakanya ng ate seulgi nya na isang arkitekto at partner nya sa bawat projects.

it’s been weeks after renjun and him talked, aside sa fact na pareho silang busy ay things have been smoothly more than ever. jaemin felt na mas gumaan lalo ang pakiramdam ni renjun since they talked and renjun opened up, he’s glad about it… he’s so proud of his lover’s progress, very much.

taimtim na naghihintay lang si jaemin sa kliyente bukod sa wala itong alam kung ano ba ang magiging proyekto nila ay hindi nya rin kilala kung sino ito. biglaan nalang ba naman kasi sya niyakag ng ate seulgi nya, plus pera rin yan, para sa future nila at ng mga little jaemin at little renjun.

tahimik lang syang nakaupo sa gilid, sa tabi ng glass window, patalikod sa pinto kaya wala syang malay na nasa likod na pala ang kliyenteng hinihintay nya.

nag clear throat ang lalaki sa likod nya kaya awtomatiko syang humarap para makita ito, and ika nga ng karamihan ay life is full of surprises nga naman talaga… bakit?

it’s no other than jeno gabriel lee.

nakangiti si jeno sakanya; isang genuine smile after so many years na hindi pagtatagpo ng landas. agad tumayo si jaemin na gulat parin ang itsura, gulat parin sya sa fact na kaharap nya si jeno na sinaktan ang pinakamamahal nya, si jeno na naging dahilan nang bawat pag-iyak ni renjun dati, si jeno na naging dahilan kung bakit muntik nang matakot magmahal si renjun.

“Engineer Na, it’s nice meeting you again.” jeno finally said at inalok ang kamay nya kay jaemin. jaemin slowly nodded his head at tinanggap ang kamay ng kaharap, “likewise, bro. i’m shocked to see you unexpectedly…” he said.

umupo na silang dalawa’t magkaharapan. heto si jaemin, speechless parin samantalang si jeno ay mukhang composed at chill lang. kung ikaw ba naman makikita mo nalang bigla yung taong ayaw mo way back in college tas walang proper bid of good bye man lang or reasons pag part ways, syempre magugulat ka nalang talaga.

"Architect Kang told me na she can't meet me so she'll be sending you instead since ikaw rin ang engineer sa project na 'to, thats why im not surprised to see you here." jeno said while leaning his back on the back rest of the chair. jaemin nodded silently at marahan na inabot ang kape para humigop, medyo awkward pa lalo't hindi pa nagsi-sink sakanya ang lahat.

"are you okay, Engineer Na?" halata sa boses ni jeno ang pag-aalala kaya agad tumango si jaemin, "ahh yes, i'm sorry for that. don't worry, all is well naman. plus jaemin nalang, you're too formal, di ako sanay." he said that made jeno chuckled. "aight, jaemin then."

"so… what are we going to talk about pala? i'm sorry i don't know much since rush lang rin 'tong appointment and i wasn't informed much by ate seulgi. but don't worry since i have a little background naman with the project," the engineer said while typing something on his phone and here's jeno na nakikinig lang.

"i'd like to renovate my law firm since me and my colleagues want to expand the firm into a bigger space for all of us," jeno started to discuss what the project will be. jaemin put on his professional self and set aside the awkward ambiance between the two of them. jeno is very precise sa changes, wants and demands nya for the renovation and jaemin is very amazed at how he talks, like sobrang eloquent at formal rin. gone were the atenista borta guy na conyo he met years ago, as if he fully transformed into someone na di mo inakala. and jaemin wants to commend jeno for that, he's seeing the best version of the guy he once hated.

hindi naman nagtagal ay nasettle din ang project, narecord at natake down naman ni jaemin ang needed infos. to be given to his ate seulgi later. this moment, jaemin wanted to talk with jeno. he really do. 

and so he does, kasi wala naman mawawala.

"kumusta ka na?" jaemin asked the guy sat across him. he suppressed a smile before answering, "all good. been living the best life serving the people, married to a wonderful woman and a father to a cute and smart daughter." jeno answered with a sweet smile plastered on his lips. nanlaki ang mga mata ni jaemin sa gulat, agad napadako ang mga mata nya sa singsing na nakalagay sa kamay ng kausap. oh my god, nauna pa si gago?!

"congrats! im happy for you!" jaemin beamed at him, "thanks. how about you? how's life?"

nagkibit balikat si jaemin, "gwapo parin naman, masaya sa buhay, tito-ninong at babysitter ng kambal na ipinangalan sa scientific name ng pakwan, flourishing, at in a relationship na for years and going strong pa." pag flex ni jaemin. jeno chuckled matapos sumimsim sa kape nya, "glad to hear that, bro! can i know who's the lucky one?" 

pasikretong humingang malalim si jaemin before answering, "si renjun." he said with full confidence. jeno seemed to not sought it pa hanggang unti-unting lumaki ang mga mata nito sa gulat at '???' ang reaksyon.

"seryoso?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni jeno and jaemin only nodded with a smile.

"yeah, senior year palang ng college kami na until now. strong 'no? mahal na mahal ako eh." pabirong sabi ni jaemin na halatang ginagago si jeno kasi trip nya lang. and jeno knows it naman, but he doesn't care since its harmless naman and jaemin's being funny lang.

"kinda expected naman na you'll end up both. bro— you're too good to be true, as if you're written by a female author! and it'll be a loss if renjun will not choose you." jeno said.

jaemin smiled, "alam ko 'yan, sa gwapo ko ba naman? but kidding aside, im the one who's lucky to have him to be honest. ako ang swerte kasi ako ang pinili nya out of all people. he's the best thing that happened to me, and will always be." 

jeno saw how in love jaemin is; from the way he talked, the way he said all of those with his dreamy eyes, with his sweet smile, and with his lovely thoughts— he really is in love with renjun. and jeno wants to tear a little out of joy for the both of them.

ever since jeno thinks mas deserve ni renjun si jaemin, mas bagay sila, mas mamahalin ni jaemin si renjun more than him, and renjun is too good for him to have. and masasabi nya na isa ito sa mga bagay na hindi nya pagsisihan, because he became a part of their beautiful story for a lifetime. 

"how's renjun?" he asked. medyo kinakabahan sa magiging sagot ni jaemin, what if kasi kung galit parin ba ito sakanya or what. he never looked for renjun since the last time they talked is he wished for them not to meet again at any chances which he obliged.

"thriving, as usual. busy sa ospital pero okay lang naman daw sakanya since dream naman nya." 

"is he still mad at me for what happened before?" his question gave a sharp pang in his heart. jaemin noticed the sudden drop of enthusiasm in jeno's voice kaya he immediately smiled, "renjun and i talked a few days ago, i asked him if okay na ba sya and if he finally moved forward from the past since grabe rin ang epekto ng biglaang pagkahiwalay nyo even though your relationship are just friends with benefits at that time… and he said he's finally okay and he's now on a better place here with me." 

jeno nodded while giving away a relieved sigh. "glad to hear that," he murmured.

"im oversharing this to you kahit hindi tayo friends and i still hate your guts for being a conyo and borta guy of katipunan but i asked him if he's okay na and he totally forgot the past because im gonna ask him to marry me."

the attorney's eyes slowly widened his eyes and gave the engineer a questioning look, 

"hey, for real?" jeno asked and jaemin nodded.

"it's been long overdue, jaemin! glad to hear that ah!" tuwang-tuwa si jeno sa narinig, mas excited pa yata sya kesa kay jaemin. 

"nah, its not long overdue naman. i think its the perfect time for me to finally ask him and settle with him for good. di ko na pakakawalan eh." 

syempre, jaemin seveline already planned everything. sya pa ba? walang palya lagi. kumbaga nag outline na sya ng mga plano bago formally magpropose kay renjun, gusto nya malinis lahat, walang gusot, walang sabit, walang sagabal. masyado nang nasaktan si renjun noon at ayaw na nya maulit pa 'yon.

"jaemin, is it okay with you if i talk to him muna?" jeno asked gently, making sure na hindi mao-offend ang kausap at hindi ma misinterpret. when he saw na jaemin's giving him the go signal to explain more ay nagsalita ulit sya, "i also want to have the closure we deserve. i want to explain my side and i also want to hear his. it's been years, i still want to be friends with him sa totoo lang and to be honest with you, ginawa ko syang ninong ng anak ko." pageexplain ni jeno. hindi alam ni jaemin kung ano bang ire-reaksyon nya sa sinabi ng kausap pero pinili nalang nyang tumawa, anak ng tokwa 'tong gagong 'to ginawa pang ninong jowa ko.

"expect renjun to always borrow your child, mahilig pa man din 'yon sa bata." with that statement, jeno already knew na he's allowed to keep renjun as a friend again, and he's thankful. very much. hindi sya nagsisisi na si jaemin ang nakatuluyan ni renjun, renjun deserves the love jaemin keeps on giving.

"comfortable ka ba na kausapin si renjun bukas?" 

tumango si jeno, "of course! plus i need to bring my child sa hospital, she's not feeling well eh. ikaw ba? is it okay with you?" 

"actually this is me asking you to be my kasabwat." jaemin said making jeno confused. "huh? what do you mean?"

"i'll propose tomorrow, after nyo mag-usap."

inilabas ni jaemin ang isang maliit na kahon sa kanyang pantalon, lagi nyang bitbit ang singsing na 'yan just in case lang. he bought the ring the day before renjun graduated from med school, so basically its been years na rin.

"on it bro, im rooting for the both of you." jeno formally said before standing up. tumayo rin si jaemin to bid goodbye, 

inialok nito ang kamay nya, "im sorry for being an asshole to you before lee pero kasi deserve mo." natawa naman si jeno at tinanggap na ang kamay ni jaemin, "no but on a serious note, im really sorry. you're always welcome sa buhay namin lalo na ni renjun. he misses you na rin, you're a great friend to him, bro." 

"thank you, jaemin. and im sorry rin, for everything." jeno said with a small smile. "thank you for loving renjun right from the start… if only i had the courage as much as you do—"

jaemin cut off what the lawyer's about to say and said, "tangina mo edi kung nagkataon hindi ko jowa si renjun? gago ka ba?"

jaemin stared lovingly at the small red velvet box he's holding, a ring with a small diamond attached above with their initials together with a word forever engraved on the insides of the ring— the ring he'll be giving the love of his life later. he closed the box right after and put it inside his pocket before walking his way out of their bedroom to meet renjun in the kitchen. he was welcomed with the coffee aroma that made him smile,

there he saw his life, his only one; preparing their breakfast while humming to a song he recognized in an instant for its his favorite song. it was just a small smile but he wasn't successful fighting his giddy feelings. 

"good morning, pretty." jaemin said while snaking his arms around renjun's waist, basically back hugging him. in an instant, a smile can be seen on renjun's lips. "hey, good morning." he said, still focusing on what he's doing. jaemin kissed renjun's neck midst humming before he poured his mug of his daily coffee. "whats your plan for today?" 

"just the same, rounds and checkups in the ward. how about you?" 

jaemin fought the slip of the tongue and sips on his coffee before answering, "i'll work on the site, engineer seo wants me there." he lied. renjun nodded while placing their plates containing pancakes and eggs as their breakfast on the table, "eat before going to work, hmm?" 

jaemin wants to laugh with the show he's doing, he never lied to renjun ever and it just feels so weird for him to do this knowing he's very transparent and honest with him. para sa proposal mo 'to, kalma. he mentally said it as if its a mantra.

oh well, Jaemin Seveline Na will never beat the in love na in love kay Renjun Nikolai Huang allegations.

it was a lie, hindi naman sya kailangan talaga sa site since architect kang will be there for a consultation and basically he's the boss so he has all the time in this world. the moment na naihatid na nya si renjun sa ospital ay nagkunware pa syang pa-byahe na sa site to pull this show perfectly when in reality ay umikot lang ito at naghintay sa parking lot ng ospital to meet attorney lee and his cute daughter.

"pst jeno!" jaemin called jeno while hiding on his car and wearing a shades kahit pa nasa parking lot sila. jeno cannot contain the laughter dahil hanggang ngayon weird at childish parin si jaemin after so many years. nang makalapit ang mag-ama kay jaemin ay agad ito umayos, "why are you even hiding here? renjun won't see you, he's busy on the ward, remember?" jeno said while chuckling.

pabirong umismid si jaemin, "kontrabida amputa." bulong nya but still audible for the man in front of him. nadako ang atensyon ni jaemin sa batang hawak-hawak ni jeno ang kamay. nakatingin lamang ito sakanya na parang nagtataka. jaemin immediately kneeled para maka-usap ang bata wearing his bunny smile, "hi there." he said. the girl only smiled and waved her small hand.

"stop scaring my daughter." ani jeno, "im not scaring her!" jaemin said in defense. 

"ah i thought you were, baka natakot lang sa mukha mo." 

pasikreto nyang pinakyuhan si jeno kaya natawa lamang ito at muling itinuon ang atensyon sa bata, "im tito jaemin, but you can call me tito sevi. whats your name?" 

the little girl then answered, “dijun.” 

dijun… him and renjun’s combined chinese names? this fucker is into cute shit pala.

jeno cleared his throat that made jaemin fixed his posture and gave the guy a smile; a reassuring smile. “go na, for sure nasa office na ‘yun si renjun.” jaemin said and motioned his hand as if shoo-ing jeno. “alright, i’ll see you around then.” 

bago pa makalayo ang mag-ama ay jaemin called for the lawyer’s name and spoke, “im pretty sure renjun will keep you around this time just like how you keep him in your life since the beginning.” 

jaemin entered inside the hospital and went to the pediatric ward, specifically sa nursery to see the babies. the sight of the babies sleeping peacefully warmed his heart. he wanted to start a family with renjun, he’s very vocal about it. he even made a powerpoint presentation on why they need to start their own family and how will jaemin take care of their lovely family. little did renjun know, jaemin was and is very serious about it, hindi lang trip-trip na gumawa ng ppt dahil marami syang time dahil day-off sya or what. he suddenly remembered how renjun laughed his heart out dahil imbes na maging seryoso si jaemin sa pag present for him to convince his partner ay naging panddogshow lang ito.

a new-born baby in front of him is sleeping, jaemin found the baby girl very pretty, her eyes are just like renjun’s eyes, magkapareho ng hugis. a tear almost escaped from his eyes but he was able to wipe it fast. things like this are just making him so emotional and just wanted to pour out his love, almost everything to people he loves. 

“tito sevi!” a voice called him. it was dijun with nurse zhong who’s working with renjun na tinuturing na nitong parang nakakababatang kapatid kaya somehow ay close rin sila ni jaemin. 

“where’s your father?”

“tatay said he and tito doc will talk.” the child said. jaemin smiled with what he just heard, and looks like he’s right after all. “san kayo pupunta chenle?” pagbaling nito nang atensyon sa nurse. the raven then answered, “gusto raw po ni dijun ng strawberry yogurt eh kaya bibili kami sa vending machine malapit sa garden.”

“samahan ko na kayo.”

jaemin and dijun walked side by side while the latter holds his tito jaemin’s hand and swaying it. nakabantay lang sa likod nila si nurse zhong while smiling, adoring how cute the two look. they’re now walking their way to approach renjun and jeno na naguusap sa garden. jaemin lend dijun to nurse zhong, “you go ahead na kay tito doc, okay? i have something important to do eh, okay ba dijun?” the girl nodded her head and gave jaemin a peck on his cheek before waving goodbye. 

right from where he’s hiding, he can clearly see how successful things got. finally.  

hindi nya maiwasan na mapangiti out of happiness dahil he saw how renjun missed and longed for jeno. his eyes never lies and he can really see the truth in his eyes,

it was great, it was not bitter yet it was assuring. assuring in a sense na he feels like everything will be fine, na everything will be okay and fine this time. jaemin never wanted anything but this, the healing they all need and deserve. wala naman syang ibang ginusto kundi ang maging maayos lang ang lahat, na makalaya na sila sa nakaraan para makausad sa panibagong bukas. renjun may have the tendencies to run away from everything but the truth is he never thought of running away from all the mess they’ve been through for all these years, and jaemin feels proud for his renjun for being strong and understanding. hindi lahat may courage to face the past they keep running away from and actually facing it kahit gaano pa ito kasakit. 

when he saw jeno, dijun, and nurse zhong left ay he didn’t took minutes to approach renjun, the doctor is now left alone and is about to walk back to his office when he felt a pair of arms snaked around his small waist, the familiar warmth and scent lingered through his nostrils,

renjun's smile widened even more. it's him.

"hi my love…" jaemin whispered lovingly.

renjun hums as a response, "kanina ka pa ba dito?" tanong nya. he earned a short nod from his boyfriend, "why didn't you show yourself to jeno then? pinapanood mo lang kami from afar?" natatawang tanong ni renjun, "yeah! i don't want to ruin your small chit chat kase kaya i decided to hide nalang, i'm sorry for eavesdropping tho, my love hehe." bumitaw ito sa pagkakayakap sa doktor at nag peace sign habang naka ngiting aso. 

natatawa si jaemin dahil napailing nalang si renjun ng ulo, "ewan ko sayo, na jaemin." 

their laughs slowly faded, jaemin only held renjun's cheeks and said, "i'm so proud of you my love for facing the truth and the past you've been running away from… you have no idea how proud i am right now," and left a light kiss on renjun's forehead, making the latter close his eyes and smiled out of joy.

"i can finally love without hesitations and fear of not being enough for you… thank you for holding on and waiting for me, my love." renjun closed his eyes before placing his forehead against jaemin,

jaemin feels like he’s about to faint, tangina eto na. "i love you so much," he whispered.

it was just five words but he felt that  it made renjun calm and in pure bliss, because he also feels the same way rin. the kind of love and feeling he’ll never get tired of.

the kind of love he always wanted.

renjun whispered, almost breathless, "lagi't lagi, mahal ko."

tumango si jaemin, ipinagkubli ang mga daliri at nilapatan ng halik ang ibabaw ng kamay ni renjun, "ikaw lang, lagi't lagi."

and now.

"i love you so much, i could marry you here right now." jaemin said. 

"propose ka muna ngayon, baby." renjun said while giggling. " "luh, eto na nga eh yumakap lang ng matagal pangtanggal nerbyos."

nagulat si renjun with what he just heard, "ha?" jaemin didnt answered and held renjun's left hand before kneeling.

renjun, still in the state of shock ay nakatitig lamang kay jaemin na ngayon ay nakaluhod na sa harap nya. "doc renjun nikolai huang please listen carefully,” jaemin started, “nais kong makasama ka pa ng mas matagal para salubungin ang mga susunod na bukas, nais kong ikaw at ikaw lang ang tanging dahilan ng pag-uwi ko… ninanais kong sa bawat pagdilat mo sa bawat umaga ay alam mong nandito ako sa tabi mo para mahalin at samahan ka sa bawat pagsubok na paparating.” jaemin paused to wipe his tears off kaya renjun laughed at sya na mismo ang nagpunas ng mga luha ng binata, “gusto kong sa bawat paglubog ng araw ay sa mga bisig ko ang kanlungan na hinahanap-hanap mo kapag uuwi ka na pagkatapos ng mahabang araw mo, na ang mga yakap ko ang magsisilbing lugar ng pahinga mo. gusto kong ipadama sayo araw-araw na mahal na mahal kita, sobra at palagi." jaemin stopped for a while dahil umiiyak na talaga ito pati narin si renjun.

everything is unexpected. who would have thought na Jaemin Seveline Na will propose to renjun in the hospital’s garden? hindi rin napansin ng dalawa na may mga nanonood na sakanila at nahagip pa ng mga mata ni renjun si nurse chenle na nakangiti at lumuluha na sa gilid at sa tabi nito’y si jeno na karga-karga si dijun at nakangiti sakanya, just like his natural eyes smile. hindi mapigilan ni renjun na matawa dahil ramdam nya ang panginginig at panlalamig ng kamay ni jaemin. sobrang unpredictable at spontaneous, parehong-pareho kami.

when jaemin cleared his throat, he continued, "mahal ko, ikaw lang ang pipiliin ko, ano man ang mangyari, ikaw lang, lagi't lagi.” and there he saw how jaemin fished out a small red velvet box. renjun saw a ring with a small diamond embedded on the top of it. pretty.  

“hoo!” nakuha pa magbiro ng binata para mawala ang kaba. “…will you let me love you until we're old and till our last sunrise for this lifetime? will you marry me, Renjun Nikolai Huang?" 

nakatitig lamang si jaemin sa doktor, hinihintay ang sagot nito. ang kanina pang pinipigilan na luha ni renjun ay ngayo’y kumawala na’t bumuhos na. walang pag aalinlangan na tumango si renjun sa binata at sumagot, “yes.” at inilahad ang kamay nito sa binata.

pinunasan muna ni jaemin ang kamay bago hawakan ang kamay ni renjun kaya natawa ang mga nakakasaksi ngayon. as jaemin slid the ring on renjun’s finger, it fits perfectly fine; jaemin smiled and bursted into tears and hugged renjun, tight. "thank you for always loving me, my love." renjun said. 

"no, thank you for letting me love you with all my heart. loving you has always been the best part and best decision i've ever made.” jaemin stopped and broke the hug. he held renjun’s cheeks and looked at his glittering eyes due to tears. the same eyes he loves because it holds the entire universe, "i cant wait to finally spend my lifetime with you starting today." jaemin said before leaning down to kiss renjun. the crowd cheered and it made both of them smiled and giggled.

nang humiwalay na ay agad nagtagpo ang mga mata ni jaemin at jeno, the latter mouthed congratulations and jaemin gave him a nod and a small smile. jeno’s eyes diverted to renjun and the doctor showed his hand where the ring lay beautifully. right there, jeno saw how magical the moment was for the two. he now realizes that all those unsaid feelings and abandoned relationships have resulted to something beautiful; jaemin and renjun’s love for each other.

a love that will surely last for a lifetime; the love they both deserve.