Work Text:
The first Noël
L – Are you asleep?
Lisa leaned back against the back of her chair – breathing in the cold air and watching the haze from her exhalation vanish into the night.
It was late. Too late for her to still be up, but Lisa couldn’t sleep. She’d been restless the whole day and she knew why.
She felt it.
She always did.
It wouldn't be long now.
J – Not yet. Still on my way home. Why aren't you asleep yet? It’s late Lis.
Lisa sighted, because yeah, Jennie was right. It was late and she should be sound asleep like the rest of the city’s residents. After all, she had a tight schedule with CELINE tomorrow and she’d promised Jisoo to pay her a short visit as well, of course.
But still, she just couldn’t miss out on this.
L – It’s coming, Nini. I can smell it.
J – What is?
L – The snow.
As if on cue, a gust of cold air made her pull her legs up – arms wrapping around them to secure some of the warmth she still felt inside, but the winter night still made her shiver a little.
She really could need a thicker jacket. Or a blanket. Or a warm hug…
She pulled herself out of her thoughts when they wandered to places they shouldn’t be and blinked up into the sky. No snowflakes had fallen yet, but Lisa was sure that by this time tomorrow all of Seoul would be covered in white.
J – Are you gonna make a snowman?
The warmth inside Lisa’s chest grew a little at Jennie’s question and she bit her lower lip while typing in her answer as quickly as her half-frozen fingers allowed.
It was odd, the way her heartbeat suddenly sped up just by the mentions of a snowman – or maybe it was the fact that for the first time since then it was Jennie who brought up the topic.
And where it could be plain coincidence and not at all intended, Lisa knew better. She knew because it had also not been a coincidence that she contacted Jennie as soon as she smelled snow.
L – Of course I’m gonna! Will you help me?
J – No.
L – Wha… no? :( Now I’m sad. Why not?
J – Last time we built a snowman together you broke it.
L – That… that was an accident. You know I accidentally bumped into it.
J – I’m not talking about the snowman, Lisa…
*********
“Nini! Nini! Get up! Come on! Jennie-shi! Get uuuup.”
Before Jennie could even fully open her eyes – an euphoric and completely over-stimulated Lisa had already jumped on her bed and bounced up and down as if the mattress was a trampoline.
“Wha… Lisa-yah, stop that.”, Jennie murmured – afraid that the noises would wake up the other girls. She still didn’t want them to know that she’s gotten this much closer with “the weird Thai-one who never shuts up”. Not that she was ashamed, it just wasn’t common for older girls like her to be friends with much younger ones.
“It’s snowing. Nini! Snow! Come on. Let’s go outside! I wanna touch it. Come on, get up!”
Lisa’s face was beaming and her whole body screamed joy and even though that was basically what Lisa was, right now her positive energy was over the moon. And it didn’t take long for Jennie to be infected – because Jennie had found, that absolutely everything about Lisa was contagious.
So, Jennie gave in laughingly when Lisa grabbed her hand and more or less yanked her out of bed and through their dorm-room living space, running onto the patio where - actually - a small layer of snow already covered the ground.
As soon as Lisa stepped out into the snow with her bare feet, she was gone. Jennie’s hand was dropped in a second and all she was able to do was to stand there in awe – face turned up to the sky, letting the small snowflakes fall on her for the first time ever.
“Wow…”, she breathed after a few seconds and Jennie couldn’t help but feel the same.
Yeah, wow. That was exactly how she would describe the scene unfolding in front of her. Of this cute and bubbly girl from Thailand who was the most energetic and cool person she’d ever seen in her life, turn into a reverent and flustered mess by the sight of snowfall.
But that moment was gone as fast as it came, because the sparkle in Lisa’s eyes turned into a mischievous look seconds later and before Jennie could even think about moving, she was already covered in snow – a giggling Lisa running off.
“You little….”, Jennie grumbled – taking off after the younger girl in a hurry, knowing full well that they would get scolded the next morning for playing in the snow at night – but she just couldn’t help it. And although Jennie had always obeyed the rules of the YG agency, at that moment she truly couldn't care less. Lisa made breaking the rules so much fun that Jennie would gladly take any form of punishment – even another ban on going out.
“Yah… Lalisa Manoban. Stop running right now!”, Jennie called out halfheartedly and completely out of breath after chasing her friend around the patio for a solid number of minutes.
“Unnie… giving up already? You’re worse than my grandma.”, Lisa shouted back at the top of her throat before slapping her hand over her mouth – Jennie shushing her aggressively from the other side of the terrace.
“Lisa, I swear to God…”
Jennie took some slow steps towards her friend – eyes lingering on the patio door where, like a miracle, no staff members appeared to yell at them.
It was only when she was face to face with Lisa, that Jennie found herself releasing the breath she’d been holding.
“You’re stupid.”, Jennie whispered while flicking Lisa’s forehead.
The taller girl just smiled back at her – shrugging.
“And you’re a little coward.”
“Am not.”
“Sure are.”
“Shut up, Lili.”
“You shut up, Nini.”
“Why don’t we both shut up.”, Jennie grinned before hitting Lisa’s shoulder slightly – the younger girl pulling a face and faking pain, luring a laugh out of Jennie. A loud one.
“Psh.. now it was you being noisy.”, Lisa murmured while her hands blindly found Jennies – pulling her down to the ground.
“What are you doing?”, Jennie sighted as she watched the Thai girl shove some of the snow into a little pile.
“Making a snowman.”
“What?”
“A snowman. A man. Made of snow.”
Jennie rolled her eyes and pushed Lisa’s shoulder once again.
“I know what a snowman is, dummy. But it’s cold and late and we really should be going back to bed, Lili.”
“Nope.”, Lisa distractedly answered – already forming a first snowball. “This is the first time I’m seeing snow. So, I’m gonna make a snowman. You can go back to bed if you want, that’s fine.”
She didn’t look up into Jennie’s eyes though and it somehow made the Korean a little sad. She shouldn’t be the one stifling Lisa’s joy. On the contrary. Deep within, Jennie knew that she wanted quite the opposite.
“Fine. I’ll help you. But if we’re catching a cold because of you, then I’m gonna be pissed.”
“You’re always pissed at me, so that’s fine I guess.”, Lisa mumbled, while placing the second snowball on top of the first – looking at it critically before moving to shovel some more snow in Jennie’s direction.
She huffed when she realized that Jennie’s hands weren’t really doing anything.
“You know. You’re not really a big help like this, Nini.”
She wanted it to be a joke. To lighten the mood that had gotten somewhat intense only a few seconds ago – but Jennie ignored it.
When Lisa looked up – Jennie was biting her lower lip so hard, the Thai girl was positive that it would bleed any time soon.
The snow was still falling hard and almost all of Jennie’s black hair was covered in tiny, white ice crystals. She looked surreal somehow. Like an angel.
“I’m not always pissed at you.”
Jennie’s words hit Lisa hard and suddenly she wasn't confused about her quiet attitude anymore.
“Wha.. no, I know that. I was just joking, Nini.”, Lisa tried to lighten the mood – because if there’s something she can’t do, then it’s dealing with tension.
“No.”, Jennie stayed with the topic – not letting Lisa change it so quickly when finally, she had a moment of courage.
“I know that I’m sometimes a little harsh with you. And I’m sorry. It’s just….”
She poked two eye-holes into the snowball Lisa was holding in her hands.
“Sometimes I just don’t know what else to do other than-.”
“Pushing me away?”
Jennie blinked. Hearing it was so much harder.
“Yeah.”
Lisa nodded before placing the last snowball on top the other two. It was a tiny snowman, but she’d never seen a more pretty one. Not even in the movies.
“He looks like you.”, she said before finally looking up – searching Jennie’s facial expression for information, which sometimes was an impossible thing for her to do still.
Jennie frowned before shaking her head slightly.
“Why?”
“Because he’s tiny.”, Lisa giggled. “Tiny and cute.”
Jennie’s heart sank a little then. It sank and then skipped a beat before speeding up to an unhealthy pace – and if Jennie hadn’t known then that it was almost impossible for a healthy teenager to have a heart-attack, she would’ve sworn that she experienced one right then and there.
But she knew that her heart was in good conditions – even though she was positive that something wasn’t right with it nonetheless.
Because it yearned for Lisa, even though she was right in front of her. Right there – looking like Christmas morning. Warm. And full of love, laughter and joy.
So Jennie let her heart steer her, even if it seemed to have a crack.
She leaned in. Little by little. Closer and closer – until she could see the snowflakes on Lisa’s eyelashes and before she knew, she could feel cold lips on her own and the taste of happiness filled her every fiber.
She wasn’t really sure as to why she did what she did, but Jennie had never in her life kissed anybody’s lips and whilst savoring the taste of Lisa’s energy, she was positive that she would never ever want to kiss anybody else after this.
And then her cracked heart broke.
***************
L – I know… I’m sorry. I was just a kid back then. I got overwhelmed.
J – I know, Lisa. It’s okay. You have to make it up to me though…
L – How? I’ll do anything.
J – I think you owe me a first-snow-kiss.
L – Like… right now, or…?
J – Look down.
Lisa almost fell out of the chair – too eager to get to the end of her terrace and hopefully find what she expects.
And she did. Because even from a distance she could still recognize that face anywhere.
“Jennie.” she shouted – only to be shushed by the other girls’ gaze and her index finger over her mouth.
Lisa laughed, the scene too familiar in her memory and Jennie must’ve had the same though because she too sported a huge grin.
She then pointed to the ground and mouthed something that – from afar – looked like ‘calm down’, but Lisa was pretty sure that it probably meant ‘come down’. It just made way more sense.
She didn’t even tie her shoes neatly and she was still pulling up the zipper from her jacket when she stepped out into the night.
Jennie was leaning against the post of the streetlamp in front of the apartment building - like she always did whenever she picked Lisa up and the image is still one of Lisa’s favorites.
No one should look this cool while standing.
She skipped in Jennie’s direction and the older womans’ face lit up by that simple, yet childish behavior. It was just so Lisa.
“Good evening, Miss. You look a little lost. May I help you?”, Lisa asked when she reached Jennie – the hoodie over her head casting shadows on her pretty face.
“I’m actually exactly where I want to be.”, Jennie answered slowly. “But I could still use your help though.”
“Ah.”, Lisa grinned as she took another small step in Jennies’ direction.
“And what good can I do for you?”
“To me.”
“What?”
“What?”
Lisa raised her eyebrows and smirked – clearly enjoying the little banter and yet, not really catching on to Jennie’s intentions.
“So.. about that kiss in the snow.”, Jennie then explained – a small smile playing around her lips.
“I would welcome it if this time, you don’t run off right after.”
Lisa blinked a few times, before leaning her forehead against Jennie’s – deeply inhaling her sweet scent.
“I’m afraid there’s no snow for this kiss in the snow, though.”, she mumbled with closed eyes – but then she felt Jennie’s cold fingers pressing against her chin until her head was turned up to the sky and even before she had her eyes open, she could feel them.
Softly falling onto her face. Ever so small. Ever so beautiful.
Just like the woman in front of her.
Just like the kiss placed onto her lips.